Post by Dave Dangerously on May 5, 2008 18:00:29 GMT -6
Dateline, 2008.
Several years have long since passed, since the mighty wrestling landscape dominated the...
landscape. ICW. Insane Championship Wrestling was at the front runnings of all of this.
Until it all went downhill.
Throughout it all, the pain, the violence, the hardcore-icity of this wrestling facility... one man.
One myth,
one legend, let it crumble around his hands.
I'm talking about...
yep, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Frank Stallone: It never occured to me that running a wrestling business was actually hard work. I thought it would be like running one of my many moderately-priced family eateries endorsed by my brudder, Sylvester.
image of Franks n' Beans restaurants shown
Frank Stallone: I named it Franks n' Beans because it's a play on words. You know, Franks n' Beans are food. My name is Frank. Frank Stallone.
......
Frank Stallone: Anyway, I bought the company from this mammaluke, Scottie Pearson. What a fucking faygah. This guy sold me ICW for twenny bucks, a flask of R&R, and the names of some hookers. They're not even real hookers! They're my sistahs!
Mr. Stallone looks impressed
Frank Stallone: Turns out this mudder fucker right here got my sister, Anice, preggos. I said, hey, look, Anice. God don't care about abortions, so suck it out already! Look, I'll get the hoovah, OVA HERE!
Picture of ScottiePP7's bastard child shown
Frank Stallone: What an ugly piece of shit. I've thrown up sexier than this kid. So Anice and Scottie move in together, right? Scottie cheats on my sistah with some bitch named CLEA? WHAT THE FUCK? And then this queer faggot towelhead named AMALEK starts living on their couch. I mean, come ON!
Frank pounds his hand into his fist
Frank Stallone: First off, me and my paisans took this Amalek queer out to the woods, and...well, let's just say, no one's gonna be riding in HIS cab anytime soon.
As for ScottiePP7? We took his money and broke his fucking legs, AND gave him his faggot kid to take care of. That mother fucker owes my sistah child support! And we knows how to collect, capice?
Stallone grins. What an ugly dago wop.
I mean...
Damn, narrator. You are racist!
Frank Stallone: But I digest.{That's eye-talian for digress} Anyway, back to the ICW. What the fuck do I know about wrestling? So I sat on the company for a few years. Until I met this guy who wanted to buy it. $40,000 dollars. Sounds fair enough. And I'm meeting him, tonight, to collect my green.
Out of the shadows comes a mysterious, SHADOWY, if you will, figure...
Man: Here's your money.
Frank Stallone: Look...ah...you were so secretive on the phone. What's your name?
Man: I've been called many things.
Frank Stallone: {looking furiated} Well you better tell me, you faggot queer. I'll have my boys on you so-
The man steps into the light, grabbing Stallone by the throat.
Man: YOU'LL DO NO SUCH THING!
The man grabs Stallones head, and drops him to the concrete with a diamond cutter/RKO manuever.
...
THE 4D!!!!
THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!
Stallone is out!
Dave Dudley: Now, ICW is MINE!
Dave pisses on Stallone.
Yeah, that's right...
Dave Dudley: DRINK MY PISS, STALLONE!
He does.
Dave Dudley: ICW...mine? Oh, the possibilities. Did I spell that right?
Did he?
Dave Dudley: Do I rebuild? Is it too late...
Perhaps...to restructure...I must first...destroy it! That's it, I'll destroy the ICW!
Dave turns around in his chair, revealing a n.W.o. logo.
no, wait...
Dave Dudley: ICW, disassembled. This could be the start of something...
or the end.
Dudley walks off camera, as the camera pans down to show another mysterious individual, clothed in darkness, picking up Frank Stallone's cell phone.
Mystery Individual: Stallone is out of the equation.
we can move to phase two...
Several years have long since passed, since the mighty wrestling landscape dominated the...
landscape. ICW. Insane Championship Wrestling was at the front runnings of all of this.
Until it all went downhill.
Throughout it all, the pain, the violence, the hardcore-icity of this wrestling facility... one man.
One myth,
one legend, let it crumble around his hands.
I'm talking about...
yep, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Frank Stallone: It never occured to me that running a wrestling business was actually hard work. I thought it would be like running one of my many moderately-priced family eateries endorsed by my brudder, Sylvester.
image of Franks n' Beans restaurants shown
Frank Stallone: I named it Franks n' Beans because it's a play on words. You know, Franks n' Beans are food. My name is Frank. Frank Stallone.
......
Frank Stallone: Anyway, I bought the company from this mammaluke, Scottie Pearson. What a fucking faygah. This guy sold me ICW for twenny bucks, a flask of R&R, and the names of some hookers. They're not even real hookers! They're my sistahs!
Mr. Stallone looks impressed
Frank Stallone: Turns out this mudder fucker right here got my sister, Anice, preggos. I said, hey, look, Anice. God don't care about abortions, so suck it out already! Look, I'll get the hoovah, OVA HERE!
Picture of ScottiePP7's bastard child shown
Frank Stallone: What an ugly piece of shit. I've thrown up sexier than this kid. So Anice and Scottie move in together, right? Scottie cheats on my sistah with some bitch named CLEA? WHAT THE FUCK? And then this queer faggot towelhead named AMALEK starts living on their couch. I mean, come ON!
Frank pounds his hand into his fist
Frank Stallone: First off, me and my paisans took this Amalek queer out to the woods, and...well, let's just say, no one's gonna be riding in HIS cab anytime soon.
As for ScottiePP7? We took his money and broke his fucking legs, AND gave him his faggot kid to take care of. That mother fucker owes my sistah child support! And we knows how to collect, capice?
Stallone grins. What an ugly dago wop.
I mean...
Damn, narrator. You are racist!
Frank Stallone: But I digest.{That's eye-talian for digress} Anyway, back to the ICW. What the fuck do I know about wrestling? So I sat on the company for a few years. Until I met this guy who wanted to buy it. $40,000 dollars. Sounds fair enough. And I'm meeting him, tonight, to collect my green.
Out of the shadows comes a mysterious, SHADOWY, if you will, figure...
Man: Here's your money.
Frank Stallone: Look...ah...you were so secretive on the phone. What's your name?
Man: I've been called many things.
Frank Stallone: {looking furiated} Well you better tell me, you faggot queer. I'll have my boys on you so-
The man steps into the light, grabbing Stallone by the throat.
Man: YOU'LL DO NO SUCH THING!
The man grabs Stallones head, and drops him to the concrete with a diamond cutter/RKO manuever.
...
THE 4D!!!!
THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!
Stallone is out!
Dave Dudley: Now, ICW is MINE!
Dave pisses on Stallone.
Yeah, that's right...
Dave Dudley: DRINK MY PISS, STALLONE!
He does.
Dave Dudley: ICW...mine? Oh, the possibilities. Did I spell that right?
Did he?
Dave Dudley: Do I rebuild? Is it too late...
Perhaps...to restructure...I must first...destroy it! That's it, I'll destroy the ICW!
Dave turns around in his chair, revealing a n.W.o. logo.
no, wait...
Dave Dudley: ICW, disassembled. This could be the start of something...
or the end.
Dudley walks off camera, as the camera pans down to show another mysterious individual, clothed in darkness, picking up Frank Stallone's cell phone.
Mystery Individual: Stallone is out of the equation.
we can move to phase two...