Post by Dave Dangerously on Jun 2, 2008 14:59:24 GMT -6
EWA is done.
Driven into the ground by a fucking mexican.
I piss on the ashes.
I piss on them all.
But who obtained the EWA world championship?
Who melted it down, and merged it with the ICW World Championship, along with the LWN, EFWO, and blah blah blah world titles?
Dave Dudley.
Because he can.
And he did.
Dave Dudley: I want to know where he is.
Tell me where Evolution is.
Dave Dudley is on the phone, three weeks before ICW opens.
Dave Dudley: Canada? Be more specific.
The cold part? Fuck you.
Dudley hangs up the phone.
Dave Dudley: I'll find him.
Dudley boards a private jet.
On the side of the jet reads:
ScottieJET2000: a division of Pearson Enterprises, Scranton PA
Dudley flies to Canada.
This part looks like the Indiana Jones flying sequence.
Dudley lands in Canada, and bundles up, and ventures into the wilderness...
Dave Dudley: Three days in this fucking snow, and still no cabin. They better not have gave me the wrong directions.
I'm pretty hungry. Haven't eaten in two days. I'm sweating under this parka, I'm going to freeze to death.
Wait...what's that? An illusion? could it be?
In the snow storm, Dudley spots an old rustic cabin.
Dave Dudley: FINALLY!
Dudley hikes up to the cabin, and busts down the door.
The camera cuts to inside the cabin, as we see a silhouetted Dudley standing in the door jamb, as lightning strikes the sky behind him. He steps into light.
Dave Dudley: EVOLUTION!!!!!!
The cabin is recently deserted. A fire burns in the fireplace. Half-eaten food is around.
Dave Dudley: Damn. DAMN!
He looks around. He sees notes on a table. Lots of them.
He thumbs through the notes...
"From Derrick K. Flippin
Funds have been delivered to your account. I'm out of the game. Don't contact me anymore. This is my last gift to you. I'm done."
Dave Dudley: Two million dollars?
"Internal Revenue Service:
Dear Mr. "Evolution". In regards to your earlier letter we sent you about suspicious activity, we'd like you to come into our offices for some questioning. We understand you are a canadian citizen, but these activities were committed in the United States, inside your Evolutionary Wrestling Alliance organization. Your company is accused of Tax Evasion, money laundering, and several other offenses. If you do not contact us within 10 business days to set up an appointment for an interview, we will proceed to handle this with a more swift hand."
"Evo
You're sloppy. There's a meeting to discuss your actions. All that was supposed to be covered up. You think your wheeling and dealing would be ignored, even though it was years ago? We're not responsible for you. You're a low ranking member of us. We'd better hear from you. Or there will be hell to pay."
Dave Dudley: What's this insignia?
"XII"
Dave Dudley: Twelve...
"Mr. Hampton-
Looking to start up business again.
The EWA is the premier wrestling organization in the world. I need talent to back it up. Just Jessica can't make it yet, because she's in the hospital. Healius is apparently AWOL. I'm coming to you. YOU. Dan. We can take out Dave Dudley together. I hope to hear from you.
Sincerely
Evolution"
Dave Dudley: The hell?
Wait, there's a reply to this.
"Evo, it's Dan.
Fuck you.
You're nothing. You running EWA is nothing. You'll never get it off the ground. ICW is where the money is at. The glory is at. I've something to prove. I have to become an ICW Champion. I have to beat Dave Dudley one more time.
You tried to turn us against each other. You turned HIM against me. You destroyed a friendship of MINE. I'll never get it back. And that makes me angry. I'm so angry. At all of you.
But you know what? Whatever. You're doomed to fail. You canadian FUCK.
I'm sure Dudley will send his regards, especially when my foot is in his ass.
Cheers, fuckface.
Dan Hampton"
Dave Dudley: Huh...
But where did Evo go? With all this money?
Wait, there's footsteps. Snow prints left in here. They lead outside.
Dudley follows them outside
Dave Dudley: Two sets. They lead out here...
Wait, there's blood on the ground. Jesus Christ.
Dudley is taken aback by the blood.
Dave Dudley: Someone struggled here. And Evo is gone. That's fucking suspicious...
Wait, what's this on the ground?
A cashiers check, for $2,000,000. TO: No name. Signed, Derrick K. Flippin.
Dave Dudley: Hello there...
Dudley picks up the check.
Dave Dudley: Welcome back, ICW.
Driven into the ground by a fucking mexican.
I piss on the ashes.
I piss on them all.
But who obtained the EWA world championship?
Who melted it down, and merged it with the ICW World Championship, along with the LWN, EFWO, and blah blah blah world titles?
Dave Dudley.
Because he can.
And he did.
Dave Dudley: I want to know where he is.
Tell me where Evolution is.
Dave Dudley is on the phone, three weeks before ICW opens.
Dave Dudley: Canada? Be more specific.
The cold part? Fuck you.
Dudley hangs up the phone.
Dave Dudley: I'll find him.
Dudley boards a private jet.
On the side of the jet reads:
ScottieJET2000: a division of Pearson Enterprises, Scranton PA
Dudley flies to Canada.
This part looks like the Indiana Jones flying sequence.
Dudley lands in Canada, and bundles up, and ventures into the wilderness...
Dave Dudley: Three days in this fucking snow, and still no cabin. They better not have gave me the wrong directions.
I'm pretty hungry. Haven't eaten in two days. I'm sweating under this parka, I'm going to freeze to death.
Wait...what's that? An illusion? could it be?
In the snow storm, Dudley spots an old rustic cabin.
Dave Dudley: FINALLY!
Dudley hikes up to the cabin, and busts down the door.
The camera cuts to inside the cabin, as we see a silhouetted Dudley standing in the door jamb, as lightning strikes the sky behind him. He steps into light.
Dave Dudley: EVOLUTION!!!!!!
The cabin is recently deserted. A fire burns in the fireplace. Half-eaten food is around.
Dave Dudley: Damn. DAMN!
He looks around. He sees notes on a table. Lots of them.
He thumbs through the notes...
"From Derrick K. Flippin
Funds have been delivered to your account. I'm out of the game. Don't contact me anymore. This is my last gift to you. I'm done."
Dave Dudley: Two million dollars?
"Internal Revenue Service:
Dear Mr. "Evolution". In regards to your earlier letter we sent you about suspicious activity, we'd like you to come into our offices for some questioning. We understand you are a canadian citizen, but these activities were committed in the United States, inside your Evolutionary Wrestling Alliance organization. Your company is accused of Tax Evasion, money laundering, and several other offenses. If you do not contact us within 10 business days to set up an appointment for an interview, we will proceed to handle this with a more swift hand."
"Evo
You're sloppy. There's a meeting to discuss your actions. All that was supposed to be covered up. You think your wheeling and dealing would be ignored, even though it was years ago? We're not responsible for you. You're a low ranking member of us. We'd better hear from you. Or there will be hell to pay."
Dave Dudley: What's this insignia?
"XII"
Dave Dudley: Twelve...
"Mr. Hampton-
Looking to start up business again.
The EWA is the premier wrestling organization in the world. I need talent to back it up. Just Jessica can't make it yet, because she's in the hospital. Healius is apparently AWOL. I'm coming to you. YOU. Dan. We can take out Dave Dudley together. I hope to hear from you.
Sincerely
Evolution"
Dave Dudley: The hell?
Wait, there's a reply to this.
"Evo, it's Dan.
Fuck you.
You're nothing. You running EWA is nothing. You'll never get it off the ground. ICW is where the money is at. The glory is at. I've something to prove. I have to become an ICW Champion. I have to beat Dave Dudley one more time.
You tried to turn us against each other. You turned HIM against me. You destroyed a friendship of MINE. I'll never get it back. And that makes me angry. I'm so angry. At all of you.
But you know what? Whatever. You're doomed to fail. You canadian FUCK.
I'm sure Dudley will send his regards, especially when my foot is in his ass.
Cheers, fuckface.
Dan Hampton"
Dave Dudley: Huh...
But where did Evo go? With all this money?
Wait, there's footsteps. Snow prints left in here. They lead outside.
Dudley follows them outside
Dave Dudley: Two sets. They lead out here...
Wait, there's blood on the ground. Jesus Christ.
Dudley is taken aback by the blood.
Dave Dudley: Someone struggled here. And Evo is gone. That's fucking suspicious...
Wait, what's this on the ground?
A cashiers check, for $2,000,000. TO: No name. Signed, Derrick K. Flippin.
Dave Dudley: Hello there...
Dudley picks up the check.
Dave Dudley: Welcome back, ICW.