Post by Dave Dangerously on Jun 4, 2008 18:22:28 GMT -6
The Hardcore Icon, The Most Dangerous Man in Wrestling today, Dave Dudley, has bought back ICW.
He has revived his wrestling career.
He has a new bloodthirsty vengeance for respect, money, and victory.
And he has a business suit...
Dave Dudley: I hate this elevator music.
Don't you?
A man, in the corner, also in a business suit is in an elevator alongside The Hardcore Icon. He is frail, with glasses. He looks like Josh Thomas...
Man: Yeah...yeah I guess so.
Dave Dudley: So what are you here for?
Man: I'm a corporate spokesman for Fuddrucker's. You ever heard of it?
Dave Dudley: Buttfuckers?
Man: Fudd...ruckers.
Dave Dudley: Butt...fuckers?
Man: Fuddruckers.
Dave Dudley: Buttfuckers?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDD. FUCKING. RUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTT. FUCKING. FUCKERS?
Man: YEARHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
The man attacks Dudley, but the elevator stops. Dudley karate chops the man in the throat and he collapses in the corner, Dudley brushes the dirt off his shoulders.
Dave Dudley: Dude, don't go near that guy, he's fucking gay.
Another man tries to enter the elevator. Dudley walks off.
Dudley comes back.
Dave Dudley: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Dave Dudley is at Ricin Shareholders Incorporated, RSI. It's in New York City. It's believed to be a subsidiary of a subsidiary of some investments that EWA made. Believed to be in business with the EWA.
Dave Dudley flings open an office door.
There, sit the twelve. Look at the smug bastards.
Dave Dudley pulls out an M16. He guns down the twelve.
It's a bloodbath. Look at the guts, strung all over the walls and furniture.
Some of them are still moving.
He pops a therm with the attached grenade launcher.
Total diabolical chaos.
Eat Me, Mother Fuckers...
Dave Dudley: Eat Me, Mother Fuckers...
Another Man: Uh...excuse me?
Dave Dudley: Huh? Sorry, I was million miles away. Anyway hey is this the RSI?
Man: Yes sir. Can I help you?
Dave Dudley: I'm looking for E. Vought. Is he around?
Man: Mr Vought hasn't been in the office in three weeks, sir. I'm sorry.
Dave Dudley: No problem.
E. Vought? Evo? Get the picture?
Dudley walks off...
Dave Dudley: Another turd of a trip. Wasted. Following up stupid leads.
Dave leaves the building.
He strolls the NY streets. He walks by Madison Square Garden.
Dave Dudley: Ah, the garden. Had lots of classic matches there. This town fucking sucks. I think the hot dogs are made out of used up indian food poop that they fished out of the sewer.
Dudley spits out his hot dog, it lands on a man. A badass man...
Dave Dudley: Snake?
Snake Plissken: Yeah. Dudley? It's you!
Dave Dudley: Dude, how have you been?
Snake Plissken: Well, as you can see, I never got out of town.
Dave Dudley: That sucks. Man it's been a long time!
Snake Plissken: No joke. Say, are you gonna kick that Dan Hampton's ass or what?
Dave Dudley: Oh fo' SHO!
Snake Plissken: Dave you are one dangerous mother fucker.
Dave Dudley: You're the dangerous mo fo, you rude bitch!
Dave Dudley and Snake Plissken: HIGH FIVE!!!
Dave Dudley: Well, I gotta get back to ICW. I got business to take care of. Let's keep in touch.
Snake Plissken: No problem. We'll hang out soon. But one more thing.
Dave Dudley: Sure.
Snake Plissken: Can I borrow 20 bucks?
Dave Dudley: SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
He has revived his wrestling career.
He has a new bloodthirsty vengeance for respect, money, and victory.
And he has a business suit...
Dave Dudley: I hate this elevator music.
Don't you?
A man, in the corner, also in a business suit is in an elevator alongside The Hardcore Icon. He is frail, with glasses. He looks like Josh Thomas...
Man: Yeah...yeah I guess so.
Dave Dudley: So what are you here for?
Man: I'm a corporate spokesman for Fuddrucker's. You ever heard of it?
Dave Dudley: Buttfuckers?
Man: Fudd...ruckers.
Dave Dudley: Butt...fuckers?
Man: Fuddruckers.
Dave Dudley: Buttfuckers?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDDRUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTTFUCKERS?
Man: FUDD. FUCKING. RUCKERS.
Dave Dudley: BUTT. FUCKING. FUCKERS?
Man: YEARHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
The man attacks Dudley, but the elevator stops. Dudley karate chops the man in the throat and he collapses in the corner, Dudley brushes the dirt off his shoulders.
Dave Dudley: Dude, don't go near that guy, he's fucking gay.
Another man tries to enter the elevator. Dudley walks off.
Dudley comes back.
Dave Dudley: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Dave Dudley is at Ricin Shareholders Incorporated, RSI. It's in New York City. It's believed to be a subsidiary of a subsidiary of some investments that EWA made. Believed to be in business with the EWA.
Dave Dudley flings open an office door.
There, sit the twelve. Look at the smug bastards.
Dave Dudley pulls out an M16. He guns down the twelve.
It's a bloodbath. Look at the guts, strung all over the walls and furniture.
Some of them are still moving.
He pops a therm with the attached grenade launcher.
Total diabolical chaos.
Eat Me, Mother Fuckers...
Dave Dudley: Eat Me, Mother Fuckers...
Another Man: Uh...excuse me?
Dave Dudley: Huh? Sorry, I was million miles away. Anyway hey is this the RSI?
Man: Yes sir. Can I help you?
Dave Dudley: I'm looking for E. Vought. Is he around?
Man: Mr Vought hasn't been in the office in three weeks, sir. I'm sorry.
Dave Dudley: No problem.
E. Vought? Evo? Get the picture?
Dudley walks off...
Dave Dudley: Another turd of a trip. Wasted. Following up stupid leads.
Dave leaves the building.
He strolls the NY streets. He walks by Madison Square Garden.
Dave Dudley: Ah, the garden. Had lots of classic matches there. This town fucking sucks. I think the hot dogs are made out of used up indian food poop that they fished out of the sewer.
Dudley spits out his hot dog, it lands on a man. A badass man...
Dave Dudley: Snake?
Snake Plissken: Yeah. Dudley? It's you!
Dave Dudley: Dude, how have you been?
Snake Plissken: Well, as you can see, I never got out of town.
Dave Dudley: That sucks. Man it's been a long time!
Snake Plissken: No joke. Say, are you gonna kick that Dan Hampton's ass or what?
Dave Dudley: Oh fo' SHO!
Snake Plissken: Dave you are one dangerous mother fucker.
Dave Dudley: You're the dangerous mo fo, you rude bitch!
Dave Dudley and Snake Plissken: HIGH FIVE!!!
Dave Dudley: Well, I gotta get back to ICW. I got business to take care of. Let's keep in touch.
Snake Plissken: No problem. We'll hang out soon. But one more thing.
Dave Dudley: Sure.
Snake Plissken: Can I borrow 20 bucks?
Dave Dudley: SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEE!!!!!!