Post by Dave Dangerously on May 18, 2008 0:15:26 GMT -6
History.
It's what defines Insane Championship Wrestling.
Insane Championship Wrestling is rich in history.
Such legends as Really Crazy...
Hey Kid...
Masked Warrior...
Pyro...
James L-Mo...
Vassago...
Johnny Q Public...
Biker...
ScottiePP7...
JPac...
Dave Dudley...
Healius...
Amalek...
Such individuals have made up ICW history. Such individuals sacrificed blood...sweat...and tears.
Some of these such individuals have long since come and gone. Some of them are still with us today.
However, their actions are forever etched in our memory. Such individuals will go down in history. History, ICW thrives on it. Tonight, a new chapter will be told...
Tonight...
History...will be re-written...
"Spit" by Kittie plays, as we see the ICW logo.
Fireworks blast off from every direction inside the sold-out Madison Square Garden in New York City.
The camera pans over the electrified crowd, and such signs are seen:
"ICW, IT'S INSANE, BABY!"
"WATSON FOR PREZZZ"
"SCOTTIE PP'D IN THE KIDDIE POOL!"
"WHERE'S L-MO?"
"HE'S GROUNDED"
"HA, THAT IDIOT!"
"KRAM FUCK!"
The camera cuts to a balcony view of MSG. The graphics come up
"Live, New York City, New York"
"Transmission avaliable in Espanol...damn dirty mexicans."
The camera cuts to a shot of your announcing team:
Joey Styles: Hello wrestling fans, and welcome to... ICW THURSDAY INFERNO!!!
The camera pans around the crowd again and then cuts back to the announce table
Joey Styles: Hello everyone, I'm Joey Styles...accompanied by Todd Pettengill, and Tony Soprano, and fellas, it's great to be here in ICW, and here in NYC!!
Todd Pettengill: Well Joey as you know, all three of us are from the New York area and well, all I know is it's great to be here, and I'm ready for some great WWF New Generation action!!
Joey Styles: Uh...Todd...this is ICW, remember?
Todd Pettengill: Dont tell "the TODDSTER" how to do his job, JR!
Joey Styles: What the hell, I'm not JR!
Tony Soprano: Ey, ey youse guys shaddup, okay? Whatsa matta witchu? Eh? Why cant youse guys settle this like adults?
Joey Styles: We are settling it like adults, Tony.
Tony Soprano: Ey, WHATSA MATTA WITCHU? How dare you call me TON-NY? It's mista Soprano to chu.
Joey Styles: Sorry, Mr. Soprano. {Whispers} It's a good thing he wasnt in the F.B.I...
Tony Soprano: Eh? I heard dat, youse little wise ass. You show no respect, I'll teach chu respect.
Joey Styles: Jesus...I should have gone to the WWF...hell, EWA isnt this bad...
Todd Pettengill: Is it time for Strategy Tips?
Joey Styles: NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Tony Soprano: Ey, Joey S., relax a little, willya? Have a little pasta, a little vino, we can watch the football game, eh?
Joey Styles: No, Ton-Mr. Soprano, I think we'll stick to ICW. Wrestling fans, as you may know, we've come to learn that a big announcement concerning the coveted ICW World Heavyweight Championship has been scheduled for tonight, and I believe we're going to see just what all the commotion is, very shortly-
the camera cuts to the ICW Stage, where we see the entrance way and the ScottieTRON��. Out from the back walks ICW Executive Mark McPhail, to a somewhat mixed response from the audience.
Joey Styles: And there is Mr.McPhail right now, and he doesnt appear to be very popular here in New York City.
Tony Soprano: Whatsa matta witchu, Joey? Dis here Mich-Pail fella looks like one suave indo-vidual, eh? Tell him to come ova here now, I'll invite him over for some pasta.
Todd Pettengill: Dont forget, if you want to own a motorized scooter, the only scooter to get is-
Joey Styles: AHHH SHUT UP!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!
Tony Soprano: EH?
Joey Styles: Ohhhh...sorry Mr. Soprano.
Mr.McPhail enters the ring, and waves out to the crowd, as he gets more of a mixed reaction. He walks over to ring announcer Howard Finkel and grabs the microphone.
Mr. McPhail: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the new ICW!
The crowd cheers! A chant of
I-C-DUB
I-C-DUB
I-C-DUB
is started.
Mr. McPhail: Heh, I'm glad you're all excited. Now, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering What is in store for ICW. Well as you all know, ICW will be holding it's "comeback" Pay-Per-View, RolePlayMania II live from the CoreStates Spectrum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and the date for that event will be Sunday, April 8!!
The crowd cheers
Joey Styles: April 8? That's the date of the rat-bastard EWA's ppv!
Tony Soprano: Shuddup, or I'll wack yer muddah.
Mr. McPhail: Yes, and the ICW World Heavyweight championship WILL be decided at RolePlayMania II. And here to provide more insight on this, is the man himself, the owner, the CEO, of Insane Championship Wrestling,
"PP7, SCOTTIE, PP7!!"
Moby's "Bond Theme" is heard, and out walks the sexy one, ScottiePP7, to a chorus of boos, and
"ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE" Chants.
PP7 Struts down the Aisle with Ms. Clee Tarus, at his side.
Joey Styles: Well here comes the boss himself.
Todd Pettengill: Vinnie Mac!!
Joey Styles: No, you fool.
Tony Soprano: Bruce Springsteen?
Joey Styles: Uh...sure.
PP7 enters the ring and shakes McPhails hand, as he grabs the mic from Mr. McPhail, and then turns to play to the crowd, as they continue to shower him with boos.
ScottiePP7: Thank you, thank you. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK!
Clee Tarus begins to clap for PP7, as the fans begin to chant:
"SLUT,
SLUT,
SLUT!!!"
Tony Soprano: Now dat's disro-specting. No respect, I tellya.
Joey Styles: Hey, I never said our ICW fans were stupid!
Todd Pettengill: And we at the WWF would like to thank each and every one of you!
Joey Styles: Somebody turn his mic off.
ScottiePP7: Well, I suppose we should get to business here. ICW has returned, and we already have a Pay Per View planned because WE'RE ICW, DAMNIT! And now the ICW world Heavyweight Championship. Well, it's pretty simple, really. At RolePlayMania II, the grandaddy of them all, the pinnacle of online sports entertainment, the-
Mr. McPhail nudges Scottie
ScottiePP7: Right, I forgot, this is only a 2 hour show. Anyway, the ICW world title, to be decided at RolePlayMania. It's as simple as this- At RPM, there will be a 4 way match to determine the ICW World Heavyweight Champion:
Crowd starts to cheer
Joey Styles: Whoa!!! 4 WAY MATCH AT RPM!!!
ScottiePP7: You didnt let me finish. You're all probably wondering, who are the participants in this 4 way match? Well, see its yet to be determined.
Joey Styles: What the-?
Tony Soprano: Whatsa matta wit HIM?
ScottiePP7: See, in these few weeks before RPM, there will be 4, yes 4, 4-way matches. The winners of each match will advance to the 4 way match at RPM.
The crowd starts to get a little louder
Joey Styles: Oh...my...GAWD!
ScottiePP7: Everyone on the ICW roster will be entered into a random drawing, to determine the participants in these 4 way matches. TOTALLY unbiased.
ScottiePP7 turns towards Ms. Clee Tarus and laughs as the crowd boos
Joey Styles: What a dirty, rotten, son of a...
Tony Soprano: He's a man afta my own heart!
Todd Pettengill: Has anyone seen my pogs?
Joey Styles: My god...he is stuck in 1995.
ScottiePP7: And the kicker is, tonight, we will have the first 4 way match!
the crowd cheers
ScottiePP7: And not only that...but tonight...we will have...the SECOND 4 way match!
the crowd erupts
Joey Styles: TWO 4-way matches, here tonight, at MSG? Oh...my...GAWD!!!
ScottiePP7: And you know why I can do this?
BECAUSE I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT! HAHAHA!
"Bond Theme" plays again as ScottiePP7, Ms.Clee Tarus, and Mr. McPhail all leave the ring, to a chorus of boos from the New Yawkian Audience.
Joey Styles: Well, there you have it, folks! There will be a 4-way match...tournament, of sorts, to crown a new ICW world champion, to culminate at RolePlayMania II! ICW is back!!
Todd Pettengill: ICW is back!!!!!
Joey Styles: Did you just make sense?
Todd Pettengill: Lets cut to commercial, fast...like a POWER RANGER!!!
Joey Styles: Good god...we'll be right back.
Tony Soprano: FUHGEDDABOUDIT!
Commercial Break
Do you like HBO's Oz?
Do you only mildly like it, due do the shower scenes?
Or is that your favorite part?
If it is, you'll love HBO's new original series, Dd.
Yes, Dd, the story of Dan Downtown, the great friend of Brian K Oxenreider, spelled with that extra E, mind you.
Watch as Downtown goes DOWNTOWN on all of his male friends. Watch the great love story blossom between Dan and his pet 500-pound gorilla. Watch Dan as he walks DOWNTOWN...to the gay porn store. And watch Dan Downtown get slapped around by such individuals as DTM and Healius.
So dont miss Dd, premiering this Sunday, on HBO...
It's not tv, it's....HBO.
Cameras come back to live tv as we see ScottiePP7 and Ms.Clee Tarus in the back
ScottiePP7: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with the lovely Ms. Clee Tarus, and also with the ICW INSANE TUMBLER! Thats right, the Insane Tumbler! And here in a moment Ms. Clee Tarus will indeed draw four names from this tumbler, to determine this upcoming 4 way match, as part of the ICW March Madness Final Four Tournament.
Styles: So THATS what the tournament is called.
ScottiePP7: Keep in mind, that's not the official name of the tournament.
Styles: Damn.
ScottiePP7: And now, Ms. Clee Tarus will draw three names from this tumbler, which has the names of every ICW superstar in it.
Clee Tarus spins the tumbler around a few times and then reaches in and draws a name, handing it to Scottie
ScottiePP7: And, one of the men in our first 4 way match will be... 148-814 of the Inmates!
Styles: Whoa, one of the Inmates! Former ICW tag team greats!
Soprano: Ey Joey, where'd Todd go?
Styles: Huh? What the hell? WHERE did he go?
Clee Tarus reaches in the bag and pulls out another name, handing it to Scottie...
ScottiePP7: And the 2nd man will be... CHUCK FINN!!
Styles: Whoa, Chuck Finn, Enigma's buddy old pal!
Soprano: I...I had a buddy once. I hada whack em.
Styles: Right...
ScottiePP7: Let's see who the third man will be!
Ms.Clee Tarus reaches into the tumbler once again and pulls out another name, handing it to Scottie
ScottiePP7: Well if this isnt something. It's the very last ICW World Heavyweight Champion, HEALIUS!
Styles: Healius! It's Healius! That son of bitch, he's married to Kallista!
Soprano: Ey. EY! Show some respect, shes a muddah.
Ms. Clee Tarus reaches into the Insane Tumbler one more time and pulls out another name, handing it to Scottie
ScottiePP7: And the 4th and final man in this first 4 way match to determine the participants at RPM...
Styles: Who is it?
Soprano: Ey, whatsa matta witchu? Whose is it?
ScottiePP7: ... 148-813 of the Inmates!
Styles: WHOA!!! BOTH INMATES FIGHTING IT OUT FOR A SHOT AT THE WORLD TITLE? OH...MY...GOD!!
Soprano: Ey, Inmates is always good. I likea dem. Maybe I'll invite dem over for some cannolini.
ScottiePP7: Well, there you go folks. Enjoy the match and remember, I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!
Scottie and Clee Tarus walk off as the camera films the Insane Tumbler
Styles: The Inmates, Chuck Finn, Healius, 4-way match, and that match is NEXT!!!
Commercial Break
Matt Dawg: Hi, I'm Matt Dawg. I was a former ICW superstar. But then things went bad. I stopped winning. I lost all of my friends...I lost all of my money. I lost all respect I had in Ewrestling. I lost it all. And now look at me. I cant find a decent job...I have no friends...no car...my girlfriend dumped me for some other guy...and now I'm stuck here all alone, with nothing to show for what I accomplished in my life. Guess I didnt accomplish anything. So I'm here to say: Whatever you do...
DON'T...
BE...
GAY!
I acted gay, and It cost me everything. Kids, DONT BE GAY. It's worth it.
THE MORE YOU KNOW...
Live tv returns
Styles: Ladies and Gentlemen we're back, on ICW Thursday Inferno, and Todd Pettengill is missing!
Soprano: Ey, JO-EY, we dont need that mammaluke!
Styles: You know, you're right...but this guy is an idiot, and I'm afraid of the things he could do if he isnt supervised.
Camera cuts to the back
Pettengill: Everyone I'm in the backstage area and I'm trying to get a word with WWF Champion Diesel!!
Camera pans over to show Healius standing there, wearing his ICW Championship belt, looking puzzled
Pettengill: Big Daddy Cool, how do you feel, going into this matchup?
Healius: What the hell?
Healius kicks Pettengill in the stomach and drives him to the floor with The Enlightenment pedigree. He gets up and starts to head out to ringside
Styles: Damn, now that was uncalled for!
Soprano: No respect, NO RESPECT!
The Who's "Sparks" hits and out comes Healius, to somewhat of a well response from the NY crowd.
Sty Note, fans that that belt he's wearing is the OLD ICW world Heavyweight Championship...that belt is meaningless!
Healius walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. He raises his arms up to the fans as they pop. He grabs a mic, and begins to talk:
Healius: ICW, where the insanity is, right? Well I believe I'm the most insane one of the bunch here, considering I AM the ICW World Heavyweight Champion, and this World Title "tournament" shouldnt even happen.
Crowd gives a mixed response, Healius' fans are cheering for him, whereas some of the fans want to see these 4 way matches.
Styles: Well, Healius does have a valid point, he was the ICW World Champ when ICW went out of business last year.
Healius: But just to make the ICW higher-ups happy, and to prove to everyone that I am the greatest wrestler here in the ICW, I will advance to RolePlayMania, and I will once again be the ICW World Heavyweight Champion!
"Change" by the Deftones interrupts Healius, as out from the back comes Chuck Finn, to a fair response from the crowd.
Styles: If I could borrow a line, looks like business is about to pick up!
Soprano: If I could borrow a line, MAMA-MIA!
Chuck Finn, holding a mic, stops on the ramp, smiling, and begins to address Healius
Chuck Finn: Whats that you say, Healius? You're going to be the ICW Champion? Haha...you know thats the funniest story I've heard in quite some time, I thank you very much, I needed a good laugh.
Healius: Listen, I dont have a problem with you, but if you want, I can get a problem, very quickly.
Chuck Finn: Oh, but you do have a problem with me. You do. Because you see, I'm in this very 4 way match with you, and well...lets just say your dreams of obtaining the ICW title once again will be shattered very early, if I have any say about it.
Styles: Wow, these New York fans arent treating Chuck Finn very warmly for some reason.
Healius: Alright, you want it that way, lets get this started right here, right now, I got all of these great New York City fans on my side, LET'S GO!
The crowd pops heavily
Chuck Finn: You're going to get a beating, old man.
Chuck Finn drops the mic as he rushes the ring, and slides in. Healius is waiting for him, as he hammers down on Finn's back with some big fists.
Styles: They're not waiting for the match to begin!!!
Healius picks Chuck Finn up and whips him into the ropes. Finn ducks under Healius' clothesline attempt, and hits him with an elbow block. Healius falls to one knee, and begins unfastening his title belt from around his waist. Chuck Finn turns to the crowd and raises his hands in the air, as they somewhat boo him. Finn turns around to meet Healius, as Healius "belts" him in the face, with the ICW world title title!
Styles: Belt to the face!!
Soprano: Ey, dat Healius fella shows no respect. His muddah should be ashamed.
Styles: It's legal, the match hasnt started yet!
Healius drops his belt, as a ring attendant picks it up and carries it back to the timekeepers table.
Meanwhile, Healius picks Chuck Finn up, and once again whips him into the ropes.
Finn bounces off the ropes, and comes back towards Healius. Healius kicks him, and sets him up for the Roman Collar, but Finn reverses it into a FVD! Healius manages to flip out of that, and he locks Finn up in the Potomac River Plunge!
Styles: That is it right there!! But wait, the match hasnt started yet!
Healius goes for the cover, but Referee Timmy White just stands there, seeing as how the bell hasnt even rang yet.
Healius stands up and motions to the ref to make the 1-2-3, as "Invisible" by Sugar Ray hits, and out come both Inmates! The fans cheer as many colored lights flash over the arena. We see a shot of Healius look on at the Inmates coming down the aisle, as the color reflects off of his body, making him many different colors.
Styles: It's the Inmates, the Inmates!!
Soprano: Healius der betta watch out.
The Inmates hit the ring, as Healius begins to try to fight them off, punching 814, and kicking 813, he keeps this up for a moment, but 813 clubs Healius in the back, and he goes down, as the two start to stomp away on the former ICW champ. 814 signals to 813, and The Inmates whip Healius into the ropes, catching him with a double clothesline.
The Inmates pick Healius back up, as 814 puts him between his legs, and he lifts him up for a powerbomb, assisted by 813. Healius hits HARD on the canvas!
Ding, Ding,
Finally the match is underway.
Styles: Finally, the match is underway!
Didnt I just say that?
Styles: Hey, shut up! At this time fans, I'd like to explain the rules of this match. Eliminations occur, by pinfalls, submissions, disqualifications, and being thrown over the top rope.
Soprano: Yo, dats right, youse gotsta go ova the top rope. None of that goin true the middle rope bullshit.
814 Makes the cover on Healius, as Chuck Finn gets back up and starts to go to work on 813.
1...
2...
Kickout by Healius!
814 gets Healius to his feet, and whips him into the turnbuckle. Healius hits so hard, he comes walking back out of the turnbuckle. 814 drops Healius with a big boot a-la Test! Healius goes down like a ton of bricks!
Styles: Oh...my...GAWD!
184 again makes the cover on Healius
1...
2...
Kickout by Healius!
Styles: Try as he might, the big man cannot keep Healius down!
Chuck Finn works on 813 in the corner, working him over with punches and kicks. Chuck Finn rears back and winds up for a big right, when 813 grabs him by the head, and trades places with him, putting Finn in the corner! 813 punches at Finn, working from his head to his lower body. Then 813 steps back a few steps, and comes charging in with his shoulder!
Soprano: Holy fuck!
Finn leap-frogs 813, as 813 goes crashing into the ring post. Finn rolls over and hooks 813 up in a sunset flip out of the corner!
Styles: He's got him, he's got him!
1...
2...
Kickout by 148-813!
Chuck Finn gets up, and crouches down like the Rock would, waiting for 813 to get up. Little does he know 814 is standing behind him! 814 taps Finn on the shoulder, and Finn turns around right into a massive CHOKE-SLAM from the big man!!
Finn hits the mat as 813 gets up, and he begins to climb the turnbuckle.
Styles: Oh, this could be good!
813 stands on the top turnbuckle, and raises his hands to the crowd, as they cheer loudly. He flies off with an amazing five-star frog splash!
Styles: METHOD OF EXECUTION!!! THATS IT!
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
813 lands HARD on Finn, and as Healius is getting up, he makes the cover-
1...
2...
The count is broken by Healius!
Healius picks 813 up off of Finn, and begins to pound away on him with rights and lefts. 814 comes up behind Healius and hits him in the back of the neck with a double axe handle smash. Healius slumps to one knee, as 814 calls for a double team move. 813 starts to climb the turnbuckle, as 814 hoists Healius up in an outsiders' edge position.
Styles: Oh no, they're going for the Wrongfully Accused! No wait, 813 is up top, they're going for THE INDICTMENT!!
Soprano: I was wrongfully accused once...they tried to get my muddah to testify...
Healius wiggles free, and falls behind 814, running into the ropes, knocking 813 off the turnbuckle, causing him to straddle the top turnbuckle. Healius then turns around and hits Goodnight Nurse on 814! He goes down!
Styles: Oh my god what an enzigeeeeeri!
Soprano: You mean enziguri?
Styles: You say Soprayno, I say Soprano.
Soprano: Huh?
Healius scrambles to make the cover on 814, but he kicks out before he has the chance to even get a one count. As 814 kicks out, Chuck Finn gets back to his feet.
813 falls from the top turnbuckle to the mat, as he grabs his groin area in pain. Healius gets up, as Finn runs to the ropes, and hits him with a springboard Hurricanrana!
Styles: Like BUTTER!!!
Soprano: I like buddah.
Finn rolls through, and makes a pinning attempt-
1...
2...
Kickout by Healius!
Healius gets right back up as Finn locks up with him and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a Spear on the way back. Finn gets up and celebrates but he turns around into 814!!
Styles: Finn is going to DIE!!!
814 grabs Finn by the throat, and then picks him up into a gorilla-press position. 814 carries Finn over towards the ropes...
Styles: He's going to throw Chuck Finn out!!
Soprano: Ut oh, sounds like trubble.
814 Throws Finn over the top rope! That's it! Finn is eliminated!!!
Eliminat- no wait, Finn holds on to the middle rope, and slides back into the ring!
as Healius gets back up, so does 813, and 813 charges towards Healius with a clothesline, knocking him down. 814 kicks Finn to the outside, through the middle rope this time.
Styles: Keep in mind Chuck Finn has not been eliminated.
Soprano: Yeah, you must go ova the top rope.
814 comes over to Healius and 813 and deliver a double power bomb to the former ICW champ. 813 acts like he's going down for the cover, but after 1 he pulls Healius back up, shaking his finger "no", as to say he hasnt had enough yet. 813 picks up Healius and 814 grabs him in a kind of bearhug hold. 813 starts to run towards the ropes-
Styles: The Inmates are going for an old Hart Foundation move, the Hart attack!!
813 bounces off the ropes, and as he does this, Chuck Finn hits him in the back with a steel chair!!!
Styles: Oh my god!!! What a shot, the ref didnt see it!!
Soprano: No respect, I tellya.
813 falls to his knees, as Healius hits a low blow on 814, causing him to release the hold. 814 holds his groin in pain, as Healius locks him up in the SAXA BOTTOM!!! A devastating Rock Bottom!!
Styles: He took the big man down!!!
Healius makes the cover on 814-
1...
2...
3!!!!
Eliminated, 148-814 of the Inmates
Healius gets up as Chuck Finn enters the ring, with the steel chair in tow! He swings at Healius, but Healius ducks, causing the steel chair to come crashing into referee Timmy White, who was standing behind him!!
Styles: Oh...my....GAWD!!!
Soprano: What the shit? Now there's no referee. Somebody call my muddah.
Chuck Finn looks amazed, as he drops the chair, and holds his head in suprise. Healius gets up, kicks Chuck Finn in the gut, and hits THE ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!
Styles: Pedigree on the chair! Thats it for Finn!
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
But theres no referee!!
Out runs referee Nick Patrick!!
Healius makes the cover-
1...
2...
3!!!!
Eliminated, Chuck Finn
Healius gets up, and begins to celebrate!
Styles: No no, you fool, you havent won yet, 813 is still in the match!!!
813 gets to his feet, and picks up the steel chair. He walks up behind Healius, and swings at him, as Healius once again drops to the mat, and THIS time referee Nick Patrick was standing behind him! Chair to the head of Nick Patrick!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 is somewhat suprised, and Healius gets up, trying to hit the Saxa Bottom on 813 as well, but 813 blocks it, and hits Healius in the head with the chair!!!
Soprano: SUMBODY FINALLY WHACKED HIM!!
813 tries to make the cover, but there's no referee!
813 gets up and kicks referee Nick Patrick, but he is out cold. So he then picks up Healius by the hair.
Styles: What the hell? Chuck Finn is back in the ring, and he has another chair!
Chuck Finn motions for 813 to hold Healius, so he can whack him with the chair. 813 obliges, and Finn rears back for the chairshot, and steps foward and swings-
Soprano: YEAH, WHACK HIM!!!!!
Healius drops to his knees, and Finn CRACKS 813 with a brutal chairshot to the head!!
Healius then low-blows Finn, causing him to drop the chair. Healius picks it up and cracks Finn with it as well!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 staggers back to his feet, as Healius turns around and smites him with the chair again, straight to the skull! 813 goes down!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
Healius makes the cover, as groggy offical Timmy White crawls over to make the count-
1.......
2......
2 1/2..........
2 3/4..........
3!!!!!!!!!!
Eliminated, 148-813 of the Inmates
Winner, and advancing to RolePlayMania, Healius
Healius gets up and celebrates, among the bodies, and chairs that have littered the ring.
Styles: The "true" ICW champion is going to RolePlayMania!!!
The crowd cheers loudly, as Healius rolls out of the ring, grabbing his "ICW Championship". He heads back up the ramp, where he turns around and raises his hands in celebration to the crowd. He heads to the back as the camera cuts to the ring, where Chuck Finn, and the Inmates are all laying out cold, scattered across the ring.
Styles: What a match!! We'll be right back!!
Commercial Break
Are you looking for comedy?
Are you looking for laughs?
Are you looking for something that will make you fall out of your swivel chair laughing your ass off?
Are you?
Well fuck you, what do I look like, a comed[/i]
Return to live action
Styles: Well fans, we just saw Healius win the first 4 way match, and advance on to RolePlayMania II for the ICW World Heavyweight Title. Let's go back and see how that went down.
Replay is shown
Styles: Pedigree on the chair! Thats it for Finn!
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
But theres no referee!!
Out runs referee Nick Patrick!!
Healius makes the cover-
1...
2...
3!!!!
Eliminated, Chuck Finn
Healius gets up, and begins to celebrate!
Styles: No no, you fool, you havent won yet, 813 is still in the match!!!
813 gets to his feet, and picks up the steel chair. He walks up behind Healius, and swings at him, as Healius once again drops to the mat, and THIS time referee Nick Patrick was standing behind him! Chair to the head of Nick Patrick!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 is somewhat suprised, and Healius gets up, trying to hit the Saxa Bottom on 813 as well, but 813 blocks it, and hits Healius in the head with the chair!!!
Soprano: SUMBODY FINALLY WHACKED HIM!!
813 tries to make the cover, but there's no referee!
813 gets up and kicks referee Nick Patrick, but he is out cold. So he then picks up Healius by the hair.
Styles: What the hell? Chuck Finn is back in the ring, and he has another chair!
Chuck Finn motions for 813 to hold Healius, so he can whack him with the chair. 813 obliges, and Finn rears back for the chairshot, and steps foward and swings-
Soprano: YEAH, WHACK HIM!!!!!
Healius drops to his knees, and Finn CRACKS 813 with a brutal chairshot to the head!!
Healius then low-blows Finn, causing him to drop the chair. Healius picks it up and cracks Finn with it as well!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 staggers back to his feet, as Healius turns around and smites him with the chair again, straight to the skull! 813 goes down!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
Healius makes the cover, as groggy offical Timmy White crawls over to make the count-
1.......
2......
2 1/2..........
2 3/4..........
3!!!!!!!!!!
Eliminated, 148-813 of the Inmates
Winner, and advancing to RolePlayMania, Healius
Healius gets up and celebrates, among the bodies, and chairs that have littered the ring.
Styles: The "true" ICW champion is going to RolePlayMania!!!
End replay
Styles: There you have it folks, Healius is now set for RPM!
Soprano: Whatsa matta witchu? We all know Chuck Finn had dat match won.
Styles: What the hell? He got his ass beat, by Healius, and the Inmates! The Inmates showed a good accounting of themselves, I figured they would both fight against each other, in the sake of ICW gold, but no they teamed up. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if the two were left alone in the ring as the final two.
Soprano: Ey, I tink we got my made man, ScottiePP7, in the back with some more announcements, AY YO, SCOTTIE!!
ScottiePP7: AY YO, TON-NY! It's time for another INSANE TUMBLE...IN THE INSANE.....uh...TUMBLER. Ms. Clee Tarus, if you will...
We see Ms. Clee Tarus, wearing a different outfit then before, mind you, walk over to the Tumbler and give it a few spins. She reaches in, and pulls out a name, handing it to PP7...
ScottiePP7: And the first name, to be in this second 4 way match to determine another participant at RolePlayMania...
Styles: WHO IS IT???
ScottiePP7: .....Vassago Arcturus!
The crowd, watching on the ScottieTRON��, gasps all at once.
Styles: WHOA, the greatest force to be reckoned with in ICW history!
Soprano: Ey, he proly aint so tuff. My boys would make him sleep wit da fishes.
Clee Tarus draws another name from the tumbler, and hands it to Scottie.
ScottiePP7: The 2nd man...The One True Warrior!
Styles: Oooh, the efed legend himself!
Soprano: Yeah he may be deh only trew warrior, but what is he gonna do when I got a magnum up against his skull? EH? TELL ME DAT, JOEY!
Styles: Uh...he'd probably kick your ass, actually.
Soprano: Are you talking to me?
Styles: Well yea-
Soprano: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
Styles: No sir, Mr. Soprano.
Soprano: Dat's more like it! Respect!
Clee Tarus draws another name, handing it to Scottie...
ScottiePP7: The 3rd man in this 4-way match...Orion!
Styles: The former LWN Interpostal champ!
Soprano: And people care...why?
Styles: Good point.
Clee Tarus pulls one more name out of the tumbler
ScottiePP7: Why dont you read the name of the final entrant?
Ms. Clee Tarus: I'd be pleased to, Scottie. The 4th and final man in this 4-way match to determine a participant in the world title 4-way match at RolePlayMania II...
Styles: WELL???
Ms. Clee Tarus: ....The angry Irish Warrior, HAVOK!
Styles: Oh, the newcomer!!
Soprano: I heard that guy is tough, even if he is a Mr. Potato Head.
Styles: hahaha Mr. Potato Head!!!
Soprano: Yeah, hehe he is a red haired BITCH!
Disclaimer: We at ICW do not reflect the opinions of Mr. Joey Styles and Mr. Tony Soprano. We apologize for this ethnic slur.
Styles: Hhaha, that piss drunk cock!
Disclaimer: We're really sorry. We at ICW dont mean to offend the Irish, red heads, Mr. Potato Head and his family, or alcoholics. We're very sorry, and we hope that with a little love, and John Lennon music, we can all live in peace.
Soprano: I fucken hate those fucken red haired skirt wearing bitches!
Disclaimer: Note that the above comments were originally said by Josh Thomas. If you dont like it, take it up with that naked bean bag sitting son of a bitch.
Styles: So its The One True Warrior, Orion, Havok, and Vassago, all going for a chance to go to RPM in the main event!! And I guess...we have comments...from all four participants?
Camera cuts to the back where we see BIKER with Havok
Biker: Ehy mI heer wthi Havok nad Havok twah od yuo tinkh fo Tony Soprano syanig htat stih aboot yuo
Havok: What the fuck? Whats wrong with you, lad?
Biker: Fnatstica Joey kcba ot yuo
Styles: Jesus...get the man some help. For the love of god...get Biker help...I believe we have more interviews.
Dan Downtown is in the back, with Orion
Orion: What the- they let you in ICW?
Dan Downtown: No, I posed as Kallista.
Orion: What the- they let Kallista in ICW?
Dan Downtown: I think the security guard was drunk.
Orion: Ah...that would explain it, eh?
Dan Downtown: Yup, so Orion, {Reading cue-cards} how do you feel about this chance to get a shot at the ICW world title?
Orion: Well I see this as a great opportunity to showcase my talents to all of these great ICW fans here in MSG. And I'd love to be in the main event at RPM!
Dan Downtown: Terrrific. Now, listen to this recording that was made earlier today:
Mr. Downtown pulls out a handheld tape recorder, and presses play-
RockyBYW: well, Orion's a woman
Tape is stopped
Dan Downtown: So, from one woman to another...
Orion: I'm not a woman! I'm far from it, and tonight I will prove it to everyone, by winning this match, and going on to RPM where I will become the next ICW world champ!
Orion storms out
Dan Downtown: Well, PSSH! He didnt have to get all pissy... back to you, Joey! Tee hee!
Styles: Erm....Dan...let me ask you a question...how are you doing?
Dan Downtown: I'm super, thanks for asking!
Styles: Heh...yeah thats what I thought.
Soprano: Is dat crazy goon a fairy?
Styles: Haha, yeah he is a fag.
Disclaimer: ICW agrees in everyway with the comments made by Mr. Joey Styles and Mr. Tony Soprano. We believe that Dan Downtown is very homosexual, and he should move to gayville, where all the gays live, and wave around their little fairy wands.
Soprano: Hey if anyone wants some fruit, just find Dan Downtown!
Styles: Hahha, that butt pirate!
Disclaimer: Yes, we really mean it.
Styles: Ok, now we have... Lord Alfred Hayes with The One True Warrior!
Camera cuts to the back, where Lord Alfred Hayes has the One True Warrior...
Didnt Styles just say that?
Lord Alfred Hayes: I'm here in the back with The One True Warrior.
Styles: Didnt I just say that?
I just said it too.
Lord Al: Warrior, how do you feel to be in this match?
The One True Warrior: Well...I think it's time that ICW had a real champion. And that real champion shall be the One True Warrior. And I will win tonight, so I can go on to RolePlayMania and win once again and become ICW Champion. Remember, I have a winning record in RPMs past. I will go on to RPM, and I will be victorious!
Lord Al: Do you like to watch midget adult porn? Because I do...
T.O.T.W.: What the hell? Get out of my way, wanker!
TOTW storms off, as Lord Al stands there, looking dissapointed
Soprano: Ey, you know, I hate dem wankers too!
Styles: Haha, yeah those freaking wankers. They're a bunch of wankers.
Disclaimer: ICW doesnt hate the English folk...we just think they're filthy Wankers, filthy and dirty like those Mexicans.
Sopranos: Haha, damn wankers!!
Styles: Those wankers!!!
Disclaimer: ICW didnt mean to offend the Mexicans. Its just that most mexicans are dirty and filthy...like the wankers. And in turn, we dont mean to offend those teethless bastard wankers. We at ICW apologize for the crude actions of Mr. Joey Styles and Mr. Tony Soprano. What do you expect from two guys who live on the east coast?
Styles: Wankers. {snicker}
Disclaimer: We at ICW mean nothing disrespectful to people who live on the East coast. Hell, ICW is from the east, itself. We're just saying the East Coast isnt as "kool" if you would, as, say, Oklahoma, particularly Wellston, Oklahoma. We sincerly apologize for all the ethnic slurs. Thank you and enjoy the rest of the show.
Styles: Well, anyway, I guess-
Camera cuts to the back, where Todd Pettengill has Vassago Arcturus, and Lilith.
Todd Pettengill: Vassago, you're back in ICW, and you're getting an opportunity to get a shot at the ICW world title. Any thoughts?
Vassago Arcturus: You bore me.
Vassago walks off, as Lilith follows him, staring down Todd along the way...
Styles: DAMNIT, FINALLY PETTENGILL SAYS SOMETHING COHERENT, AND VASSAGO BLOWS HIM OFF.
Pettengill looks appalled, as Healius comes up, with a towel around his neck, resting across his shoulders.
Healius: Was that Vassago?
Pettengill: Yes, that was Bob Backlund.
Healius: Well you tell that demonic bastard that I want him to win, so I can kick his ass at RPM, and show everyone that I am The Fucking Game of ICW!
Crowd, watching on the ScottieTRON��, cheers
Pettengill: Strong words from Diesel.
Healius: Hey, didnt I beat your ass earlier?
Suddenly from off camera Healius gets hit in the back with a steel chair. Healius goes down, as the camera pans over to show Chuck Finn standing over him, holding a steel chair.
Chuck Finn: I didnt want to have to do that...but someone had to shut your mouth.
Pettengill: Wow, he moved like a POWER RANG-
Chuck Finn smites the toddster in the cranium with the chair, and Todd falls to the floor. Finn then drops the chair, and walks off...
Soprano: Ey, dats no respect. I likea da guy, but no respect.
Styles: Poor, poor Todd. Well folks...we shall return, with our main event of the evening: The One True Warrior vs. Orion vs. Havok vs. Vassago Arcturus.
Commercial Break
Do you know someone with an itchy, dry, vaginal area?
Well your mom has that.
Yup.
That was supposed to be funny...but hey, its late, its the best I could come up with.
Disclaimer: Insane Championship Wrestling does not really know your mother. And if we did, we would not discuss her genital area. We apologize if your mother has these symptoms, for two reasons: one, if she has that, well it just has to suck. And two, if she told you about it...theres something wrong there. ICW doesnt mean to offend moms. Because moms rule. Well, my mom rules, at least.
Disclaimer: ICW does not feel that my mom is better then yours. ICW believes all mothers are created equally...except for Wanker moms, and Mexican moms.
Disclaimer: ICW, if you had not noticed, is just kidding.
We only hate-
ScottiePP7: those people that their limbs fall off
Return to live tv
Styles: It's time for the 2nd 4-way match!!
Soprano: Dats right, Vassago, Warrior, Orion, and Havok, all in de same ring. Remember, the rules are as follows: Eliminations, dey occur when a guy is pinned, a guy quits, when a guy is disqualified, or when a guy gets trown over da top rope. Capesh?
Styles: Healius has already advanced to RolePlayMania! Let's see who will join him!
"Driver Down" by Nine Inch Nails hits, as out comes former ICW world heavyweight champion Vassago Arcturus, accompanied to the ring by Lilith, and a chorus of boos.
Soprano: Christ, dis guy scares me.
Styles: In the past, this man has been unstoppable. If you'll remember back to ICW's Insane Rumble, he dominated the match, becoming the undisputed ICW world champ. Then, last year, at RolePlayMania, he took Dave Dudley to the limit, avoiding the dreaded 4D, to come out on top. This man can GO!
Amist the darkness, and the smoke, Vassago enters the ring. Vassago walks to the middle of the ring, where Lilith takes off his black trenchcoat, and then exits the ring with it. Lilith begins to walk back up the ramp, as Vassago starts to hop around in the ring, possibly warming up.
Soprano: If I was the bettin type...which Im not, mind you, I'd bet the whole salami on Vassago. He looks like he's brought his game, today.
Styles: Or he's got hell backing him up.
Soprano: I shuddah to think.
Lilith makes her way to the stage as the lights dim to a blood red, and the "Halloween" theme plays.
Lilith stops in her tracks, as she is obviously frightened.
Styles: Ut-oh...this could get interesting...
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
Vassago notices this, and hops over the top rope to the floor, and begins to run up the ramp.
He runs up to Lilith, and stands in front of her, and starts to talk to her, the cameras dont pick up what he's saying, though. Then, suddenly, from behind, The One True Warrior bursts through the curtains, weilding a steel chair!!
Styles: The Warrior is here!!
TOTW hits Vassago in the back with the steel chair as he drops to his knees. Lilith runs to the back, as TOTW raises the chair to the fans, to get a very nice pop.
Vassago gets to his feet, as TOTW swings the chair at the side of his head, very Edge and Christian conchairto-like. Vassago ducks, and delivers a swift left jab to TOTW's side, causing him to drop the chair. Vassago gets up, and rakes TOTW's eyes. Vassago bends down to pick the chair up, but TOTW hammers him in the back. He locks Vassago up into a full nelson-
Soprano: Whoa, whats he gonna do here?
FULL NELSON SLAM ON THE METAL STAGE!!!
Styles: Oh...my...GOD!!!
Vassago appears to be hurt somewhat, but he just rolls over, onto his knees.
TOTW picks up his steel chair once again and cracks Vassago, who is on his hands and knees, in the back!
Styles: Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!!!
Soprano: DATS ONE SPICY MEAT-A BALL!
Vassago rolls, writhing in pain, as TOTW raises the chair to the crowd once again, this time to quite the eruption from them.
The camera suddenly cuts to the back, where we see Orion walking through the halls, pounding his fist into his hand ala Silent Bob.
Suddenly, Havok comes flying from off camera with a flying forearm, knocking Orion down. Havok kicks Orion as he tries to get to his feet, Havok sends him down with an armbar, and locks in a Crippler Crossface, right there on the concrete!
Styles: Havok has his move, the Rings of Havok, on Orion, in the back!!!
Soprano: Damn, he's gonna break his arm!
Havok pulls back on Orion, who is tapping out on the floor.
Styles: Come on, theres not even a ref back there!
Havok releases the hold, slamming Orions face into the floor. Havok stands up, and pulls up Orion by the hair. Havok positions Orion over towards a technicians table in the back, and delivers a hellacious Belly To Back Suplex THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Styles: OH...MY...GOD!!!
Soprano: HOLY MACARONI!!!
Havok gets up, and begins to walk towards the arena entrance as the camera shows Orion laying in the table wreckage, struggling to get up
Styles: Now Havok is coming to the ring!
Soprano: Well, he IS in this match, Joey.
Styles: But he took out Orion already, he may not be able to continue this match!
Meanwhile, TOTW has herded Vassago back to the ring, where TOTW still wields the chair. He picks it up to swing at Vassago, but referee Jack Mehoff pulls it away from him! TOTW turns around to dispute this, as Vassago charges TOTW from behind, kicking TOTW in the legs. TOTW goes to his knees, as Vassago locks in a surfboard type move, and slaps a dragon sleeper on!
Styles: That right there is the Lake of Fire! And its a deadly move!
Soprano: Ah, dats gotta hoit. He's gonna be quittin pretty soon, you can bet on it. Not that I would, because you know, I dont gamble or nothin.
TOTW flails his arms around as Jack Mehoff checks to see if he's giving up. Vassago, who is cranking on the hold, has a devilish grin on his face.
Suddenly, Bob Dylan's "Things Have Changed" hits the PA and Havok comes running out, to some loud heel heat.
Soprano: Ey, wheres his woman, Angee?
Styles: This is an important match, he must have not wanted her to get in the way...
Havok slides in the ring, and begins to kick at TOTW's exposed midsection, as Vassago has TOTW in the Lake of Fire.
Styles: The One True Warrior cant take much more, I'm sure!
Havok stops stomping on TOTW, and drops an elbow to Vassago's face, causing him to break the hold.
Havok picks up Vassago, and whips him into the ropes, attempting a clothesline. Vassago ducks, and hits Havok with a Facebreaker Kick!
Havok goes down, as TOTW starts to get to his feet.
Styles: Oh my god what a kick! That might have knocked Havok out!
Vassago attempts a cover on Havok, referee Jack Mehoff is there to make the count-
1....
2....
Kickout, by Havok!
Vassago gets up only to walk right into a Sidewalk slam from TOTW! TOTW slams him down, and hooks the leg-
1....
2....
Kickout, by Vassago!
TOTW gets Vassago to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. He attempts a clothesline, but Vassago ducks. On the way back, Vassago attempts another facebreaker kick, but TOTW sidesteps! Vassago gets up with his back turned, as TOTW locks in a sleeper hold!
Styles: Thats it, the warriors dream!!
Vassago tries to wiggle free, as Havok gets back to his feet, groggy. Havok sees TOTW locking in the sleeper on Vassago, and he steps back, and lunges foward with a superkick, aimed towards Vassago, who slides out of the sleeper at the last second, causing TOTW to take a brutal superkick to the face!
Soprano: Fuck me!
Styles: DAMN!
TOTW and Havok both fall to the mat, and all three men are down on the mat.
Styles: Now we're basically back to where we started!
Vassago is the first to get to his feet, as he rolls to the outside of the ring.
Soprano: Ey, didnt he just elminate himself?
Styles: No, you have to go OVER the top rope, remember? I think Vassago is just trying to re-group.
Havok and TOTW start to stir in the ring. Havok gets to his feet first, as TOTW soon follows suit. Havok takes down TOTW's legs with a double leg sweep, and locks in a Sharpshooter!!
Styles: Thats it, its over for The Warrior!!!
Havok really cranks back on the Sharpshooter, as referee Jack Mehoff once again asks TOTW if he wants to give up, which he constantly replies to with a stern "NO!"
Styles: TOTW is taking a beating!
Soprano: Ey, he cant take much more...
Suddenly, Jamaica Ashe's "Conform" hits, and out runs Orion wielding a steel chair!!!
He runs to the ring, slides in, and CRACKS Havok in the head with the chair, causing him to release the hold!
Styles: Ladies and gentlemen, in true ICW tradition, ScottiePP7 has just ordered this match no DQ, he has just informed us, and the referee, and the match will now be no DQ, he doesnt want to see a Disqualification with this kind of action!
Soprano: Good call, Scottie, my MADE MAN!
Orion picks up Havok, and throws him through the middle rope, as he follows him to the outside, where they begin to brawl.
Meanwhile, Vassago slides back into the ring, as TOTW is starting to get back up. Vassago walks over to the warrior, as he hits him with an elbow to the gut. TOTW hits Vassago with a headbutt, followed up by a kick to the midsection. TOTW whips Vassago to the ropes, and hits his wrist bands, breaking open the packets of ether he keeps in his wrist bands!
Styles: Hey, he's got ether! IF he locks the sleeper on Vassago now, theres no way he can NOT fall asleep!
Vassago bounces off the ropes as TOTW swings around and catches him in a sleeper! Vassago reverses out of it, though, and hits him with a backdrop suplex. TOTW goes down, and Vassago notices the ether packets. He grabs TOTW's wrists, and rolls him over, and catches him in a Riku-Raku stretch(camel clutch with the arms crossed, and the opponent pulls back on the arms, as the arms are around the mans face, does that make sense? Play WWF No Mercy, bitches.) Vassago smothers the ether packets into TOTW's face!
Styles: The Warriors own strategy comes into play against him! The Warrior is going to go out!
Soprano: Vassago almost saw the ether packets coming there...its like he knew what to do!
The One True Warrior struggles, but finally he passes out, from the ether. Vassago, a little woozy from the ether himself, wobbles back to the corner, and slumps down.
Meanwhile, on the outside, Havok and Orion are brawling. Havok shoves Orion down, and enters the ring. He slides in, and locks on the crippler crossface on the unconcious TOTW.
Styles: Oh come on, that is cheap, the man is out cold!
The ref notices that The One True Warrior is out cold, and rings the bell.
Eliminated, The One True Warrior
Havok gets up, and celebrates, as the ref rolls TOTW out of the ring. Havok flips off the crowd , as they boo, boo, boo...
Styles: These New York fans are disgusted by Havok!
Soprano: Dese New York fans are stupid. I like Havok,hes my kinda guy. I should invite him over for some spaghettios.
Styles: Italians dont eat Spaghettios...
Soprano: The hell they dont!
Havok revels in the fan's hatred for him. Orion, who is on the outside, enters the ring, and comes up behind Havok. Havok is mocking the fans, as they point behind him, and yell out "LOOK BEHIND YOU!!" Havok Laughs, and turns around, and is greeted with a kick to the midsection, and THE ORIONS BELT!!! Havok goes down!
Styles: What a Michinoku Driver!
Orion makes the cover on Havok-
1....
2....
3!!!!
Eliminated, Havok
Orion picks up Havok and tosses him out of the ring.
Soprano: Haha, take that, you [refer to the disclaimers for such a remark]
Orion dusts his hands off, and smiles, as he turns around, to see Vassago, slumped in the corner. Vassago stands straight up, and stares down Orion.
Styles: It's like Orion has looked straight into hell! He's as white as my ass!
Orion walks a little closer, as does Vassago. Vassago motions for Orion to "bring it on", as Orion picks up a steel chair.
Soprano: Ha, now its fair!
Styles: What are you talking about? Orion is one hell of an athlete, he's a former LWN Interpostal Champion for gods sakes!
Orion steps foward and swings the chair at Vassago's skull! Vassago braces for the impact, ducking his head down. No effect.
Styles: OH...MY...GOD!!!
Orion swings again, this time Vassago staggers a bit.
Styles: He still wont go down!!
Soprano: Damn, I gotta get this guy to work for me...
Orion swings again, but Vassago punches the chair back into Orion's face!!! Orion hits the mat, the chair goes flying!
Styles: {high pitched} OHMYGOD!!!!
Vassago smiles, as Orion gets back up, hitting Vassago with a low-blow. Vassago keels over, slightly. Orion kicks Vassago in the gut, and sets him up for the Catch 22! He lifts him up in the razors edge position.
Styles: Orion could pull it off!!
Vassago slides out of the razors edge, and turns around, locking him in a reverse front chancory type hold. He grabs the tights, and lifts him up into a dragon suplex, and he drops Orion down with a diamond cutter!
Styles: The Apocalypse!!! Thats it, its over, its over!!
Soprano: Good god DAMN!
Vassago picks Orion, who is damn year unconcious, up by the hair. Vassago grabs Orion by the throat, and walks over toward the ropes. He locks both hands around Orion's throat, and tosses him OVER THE TOP ROPE, CAUSING ORION TO CRASH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!
Styles: HOLY SHIT!!!!! {clunk}
The announce team's headsets get knocked off.
Vassago raises his hands in the air, in victory!
Eliminated, Orion
Winner, and advancing to RolePlayMania, Vassago Arcturus
Orion is shown decimated, laying in the wreckage of the announce table.
Styles: Tony, can you hear me?
Soprano: MISTER SOPRANO!!!
Styles: Dont worry about that right now, Orion is DEAD!! Vassago just tossed him over the top rope with ease! He is...he is...he's inhuman!
Vassago celebrates in the ring, as the fans boo with all of their might. "Driver Down" hits the PA once again, as Vassago, smiling evilishly, makes his way to the back.
Styles: For the love of god, someone get some help for Orion!
Soprano: Damn, you sound like JR, now!
Styles: Shut up, this is no time for jokes!
Soprano: WHATSA MATTA WITCHU?
Styles: Ladies and gentlemen, ICW is back, Two of the four participants for the main event at RolePlayMania are set, as Healius and Vassago will be part of the 4-way dance to determine the ICW world Heavyweight Champion! Orion has been destroyed here! And we're out of time! Thank you very much for joining us here tonight, for Todd Pettengill, and Tony Soprano, this is Joey Styles, saying goodnight!
The camera shows Orion laying in the wreckage of the table, as he starts to stir around, as the camera fades out...
end transmission
It's what defines Insane Championship Wrestling.
Insane Championship Wrestling is rich in history.
Such legends as Really Crazy...
Hey Kid...
Masked Warrior...
Pyro...
James L-Mo...
Vassago...
Johnny Q Public...
Biker...
ScottiePP7...
JPac...
Dave Dudley...
Healius...
Amalek...
Such individuals have made up ICW history. Such individuals sacrificed blood...sweat...and tears.
Some of these such individuals have long since come and gone. Some of them are still with us today.
However, their actions are forever etched in our memory. Such individuals will go down in history. History, ICW thrives on it. Tonight, a new chapter will be told...
Tonight...
History...will be re-written...
"Spit" by Kittie plays, as we see the ICW logo.
Fireworks blast off from every direction inside the sold-out Madison Square Garden in New York City.
The camera pans over the electrified crowd, and such signs are seen:
"ICW, IT'S INSANE, BABY!"
"WATSON FOR PREZZZ"
"SCOTTIE PP'D IN THE KIDDIE POOL!"
"WHERE'S L-MO?"
"HE'S GROUNDED"
"HA, THAT IDIOT!"
"KRAM FUCK!"
The camera cuts to a balcony view of MSG. The graphics come up
"Live, New York City, New York"
"Transmission avaliable in Espanol...damn dirty mexicans."
The camera cuts to a shot of your announcing team:
Joey Styles: Hello wrestling fans, and welcome to... ICW THURSDAY INFERNO!!!
The camera pans around the crowd again and then cuts back to the announce table
Joey Styles: Hello everyone, I'm Joey Styles...accompanied by Todd Pettengill, and Tony Soprano, and fellas, it's great to be here in ICW, and here in NYC!!
Todd Pettengill: Well Joey as you know, all three of us are from the New York area and well, all I know is it's great to be here, and I'm ready for some great WWF New Generation action!!
Joey Styles: Uh...Todd...this is ICW, remember?
Todd Pettengill: Dont tell "the TODDSTER" how to do his job, JR!
Joey Styles: What the hell, I'm not JR!
Tony Soprano: Ey, ey youse guys shaddup, okay? Whatsa matta witchu? Eh? Why cant youse guys settle this like adults?
Joey Styles: We are settling it like adults, Tony.
Tony Soprano: Ey, WHATSA MATTA WITCHU? How dare you call me TON-NY? It's mista Soprano to chu.
Joey Styles: Sorry, Mr. Soprano. {Whispers} It's a good thing he wasnt in the F.B.I...
Tony Soprano: Eh? I heard dat, youse little wise ass. You show no respect, I'll teach chu respect.
Joey Styles: Jesus...I should have gone to the WWF...hell, EWA isnt this bad...
Todd Pettengill: Is it time for Strategy Tips?
Joey Styles: NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Tony Soprano: Ey, Joey S., relax a little, willya? Have a little pasta, a little vino, we can watch the football game, eh?
Joey Styles: No, Ton-Mr. Soprano, I think we'll stick to ICW. Wrestling fans, as you may know, we've come to learn that a big announcement concerning the coveted ICW World Heavyweight Championship has been scheduled for tonight, and I believe we're going to see just what all the commotion is, very shortly-
the camera cuts to the ICW Stage, where we see the entrance way and the ScottieTRON��. Out from the back walks ICW Executive Mark McPhail, to a somewhat mixed response from the audience.
Joey Styles: And there is Mr.McPhail right now, and he doesnt appear to be very popular here in New York City.
Tony Soprano: Whatsa matta witchu, Joey? Dis here Mich-Pail fella looks like one suave indo-vidual, eh? Tell him to come ova here now, I'll invite him over for some pasta.
Todd Pettengill: Dont forget, if you want to own a motorized scooter, the only scooter to get is-
Joey Styles: AHHH SHUT UP!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!
Tony Soprano: EH?
Joey Styles: Ohhhh...sorry Mr. Soprano.
Mr.McPhail enters the ring, and waves out to the crowd, as he gets more of a mixed reaction. He walks over to ring announcer Howard Finkel and grabs the microphone.
Mr. McPhail: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the new ICW!
The crowd cheers! A chant of
I-C-DUB
I-C-DUB
I-C-DUB
is started.
Mr. McPhail: Heh, I'm glad you're all excited. Now, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering What is in store for ICW. Well as you all know, ICW will be holding it's "comeback" Pay-Per-View, RolePlayMania II live from the CoreStates Spectrum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and the date for that event will be Sunday, April 8!!
The crowd cheers
Joey Styles: April 8? That's the date of the rat-bastard EWA's ppv!
Tony Soprano: Shuddup, or I'll wack yer muddah.
Mr. McPhail: Yes, and the ICW World Heavyweight championship WILL be decided at RolePlayMania II. And here to provide more insight on this, is the man himself, the owner, the CEO, of Insane Championship Wrestling,
"PP7, SCOTTIE, PP7!!"
Moby's "Bond Theme" is heard, and out walks the sexy one, ScottiePP7, to a chorus of boos, and
"ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE" Chants.
PP7 Struts down the Aisle with Ms. Clee Tarus, at his side.
Joey Styles: Well here comes the boss himself.
Todd Pettengill: Vinnie Mac!!
Joey Styles: No, you fool.
Tony Soprano: Bruce Springsteen?
Joey Styles: Uh...sure.
PP7 enters the ring and shakes McPhails hand, as he grabs the mic from Mr. McPhail, and then turns to play to the crowd, as they continue to shower him with boos.
ScottiePP7: Thank you, thank you. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK!
Clee Tarus begins to clap for PP7, as the fans begin to chant:
"SLUT,
SLUT,
SLUT!!!"
Tony Soprano: Now dat's disro-specting. No respect, I tellya.
Joey Styles: Hey, I never said our ICW fans were stupid!
Todd Pettengill: And we at the WWF would like to thank each and every one of you!
Joey Styles: Somebody turn his mic off.
ScottiePP7: Well, I suppose we should get to business here. ICW has returned, and we already have a Pay Per View planned because WE'RE ICW, DAMNIT! And now the ICW world Heavyweight Championship. Well, it's pretty simple, really. At RolePlayMania II, the grandaddy of them all, the pinnacle of online sports entertainment, the-
Mr. McPhail nudges Scottie
ScottiePP7: Right, I forgot, this is only a 2 hour show. Anyway, the ICW world title, to be decided at RolePlayMania. It's as simple as this- At RPM, there will be a 4 way match to determine the ICW World Heavyweight Champion:
Crowd starts to cheer
Joey Styles: Whoa!!! 4 WAY MATCH AT RPM!!!
ScottiePP7: You didnt let me finish. You're all probably wondering, who are the participants in this 4 way match? Well, see its yet to be determined.
Joey Styles: What the-?
Tony Soprano: Whatsa matta wit HIM?
ScottiePP7: See, in these few weeks before RPM, there will be 4, yes 4, 4-way matches. The winners of each match will advance to the 4 way match at RPM.
The crowd starts to get a little louder
Joey Styles: Oh...my...GAWD!
ScottiePP7: Everyone on the ICW roster will be entered into a random drawing, to determine the participants in these 4 way matches. TOTALLY unbiased.
ScottiePP7 turns towards Ms. Clee Tarus and laughs as the crowd boos
Joey Styles: What a dirty, rotten, son of a...
Tony Soprano: He's a man afta my own heart!
Todd Pettengill: Has anyone seen my pogs?
Joey Styles: My god...he is stuck in 1995.
ScottiePP7: And the kicker is, tonight, we will have the first 4 way match!
the crowd cheers
ScottiePP7: And not only that...but tonight...we will have...the SECOND 4 way match!
the crowd erupts
Joey Styles: TWO 4-way matches, here tonight, at MSG? Oh...my...GAWD!!!
ScottiePP7: And you know why I can do this?
BECAUSE I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT! HAHAHA!
"Bond Theme" plays again as ScottiePP7, Ms.Clee Tarus, and Mr. McPhail all leave the ring, to a chorus of boos from the New Yawkian Audience.
Joey Styles: Well, there you have it, folks! There will be a 4-way match...tournament, of sorts, to crown a new ICW world champion, to culminate at RolePlayMania II! ICW is back!!
Todd Pettengill: ICW is back!!!!!
Joey Styles: Did you just make sense?
Todd Pettengill: Lets cut to commercial, fast...like a POWER RANGER!!!
Joey Styles: Good god...we'll be right back.
Tony Soprano: FUHGEDDABOUDIT!
Commercial Break
Do you like HBO's Oz?
Do you only mildly like it, due do the shower scenes?
Or is that your favorite part?
If it is, you'll love HBO's new original series, Dd.
Yes, Dd, the story of Dan Downtown, the great friend of Brian K Oxenreider, spelled with that extra E, mind you.
Watch as Downtown goes DOWNTOWN on all of his male friends. Watch the great love story blossom between Dan and his pet 500-pound gorilla. Watch Dan as he walks DOWNTOWN...to the gay porn store. And watch Dan Downtown get slapped around by such individuals as DTM and Healius.
So dont miss Dd, premiering this Sunday, on HBO...
It's not tv, it's....HBO.
Cameras come back to live tv as we see ScottiePP7 and Ms.Clee Tarus in the back
ScottiePP7: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with the lovely Ms. Clee Tarus, and also with the ICW INSANE TUMBLER! Thats right, the Insane Tumbler! And here in a moment Ms. Clee Tarus will indeed draw four names from this tumbler, to determine this upcoming 4 way match, as part of the ICW March Madness Final Four Tournament.
Styles: So THATS what the tournament is called.
ScottiePP7: Keep in mind, that's not the official name of the tournament.
Styles: Damn.
ScottiePP7: And now, Ms. Clee Tarus will draw three names from this tumbler, which has the names of every ICW superstar in it.
Clee Tarus spins the tumbler around a few times and then reaches in and draws a name, handing it to Scottie
ScottiePP7: And, one of the men in our first 4 way match will be... 148-814 of the Inmates!
Styles: Whoa, one of the Inmates! Former ICW tag team greats!
Soprano: Ey Joey, where'd Todd go?
Styles: Huh? What the hell? WHERE did he go?
Clee Tarus reaches in the bag and pulls out another name, handing it to Scottie...
ScottiePP7: And the 2nd man will be... CHUCK FINN!!
Styles: Whoa, Chuck Finn, Enigma's buddy old pal!
Soprano: I...I had a buddy once. I hada whack em.
Styles: Right...
ScottiePP7: Let's see who the third man will be!
Ms.Clee Tarus reaches into the tumbler once again and pulls out another name, handing it to Scottie
ScottiePP7: Well if this isnt something. It's the very last ICW World Heavyweight Champion, HEALIUS!
Styles: Healius! It's Healius! That son of bitch, he's married to Kallista!
Soprano: Ey. EY! Show some respect, shes a muddah.
Ms. Clee Tarus reaches into the Insane Tumbler one more time and pulls out another name, handing it to Scottie
ScottiePP7: And the 4th and final man in this first 4 way match to determine the participants at RPM...
Styles: Who is it?
Soprano: Ey, whatsa matta witchu? Whose is it?
ScottiePP7: ... 148-813 of the Inmates!
Styles: WHOA!!! BOTH INMATES FIGHTING IT OUT FOR A SHOT AT THE WORLD TITLE? OH...MY...GOD!!
Soprano: Ey, Inmates is always good. I likea dem. Maybe I'll invite dem over for some cannolini.
ScottiePP7: Well, there you go folks. Enjoy the match and remember, I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!
Scottie and Clee Tarus walk off as the camera films the Insane Tumbler
Styles: The Inmates, Chuck Finn, Healius, 4-way match, and that match is NEXT!!!
Commercial Break
Matt Dawg: Hi, I'm Matt Dawg. I was a former ICW superstar. But then things went bad. I stopped winning. I lost all of my friends...I lost all of my money. I lost all respect I had in Ewrestling. I lost it all. And now look at me. I cant find a decent job...I have no friends...no car...my girlfriend dumped me for some other guy...and now I'm stuck here all alone, with nothing to show for what I accomplished in my life. Guess I didnt accomplish anything. So I'm here to say: Whatever you do...
DON'T...
BE...
GAY!
I acted gay, and It cost me everything. Kids, DONT BE GAY. It's worth it.
THE MORE YOU KNOW...
Live tv returns
Styles: Ladies and Gentlemen we're back, on ICW Thursday Inferno, and Todd Pettengill is missing!
Soprano: Ey, JO-EY, we dont need that mammaluke!
Styles: You know, you're right...but this guy is an idiot, and I'm afraid of the things he could do if he isnt supervised.
Camera cuts to the back
Pettengill: Everyone I'm in the backstage area and I'm trying to get a word with WWF Champion Diesel!!
Camera pans over to show Healius standing there, wearing his ICW Championship belt, looking puzzled
Pettengill: Big Daddy Cool, how do you feel, going into this matchup?
Healius: What the hell?
Healius kicks Pettengill in the stomach and drives him to the floor with The Enlightenment pedigree. He gets up and starts to head out to ringside
Styles: Damn, now that was uncalled for!
Soprano: No respect, NO RESPECT!
The Who's "Sparks" hits and out comes Healius, to somewhat of a well response from the NY crowd.
Sty Note, fans that that belt he's wearing is the OLD ICW world Heavyweight Championship...that belt is meaningless!
Healius walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. He raises his arms up to the fans as they pop. He grabs a mic, and begins to talk:
Healius: ICW, where the insanity is, right? Well I believe I'm the most insane one of the bunch here, considering I AM the ICW World Heavyweight Champion, and this World Title "tournament" shouldnt even happen.
Crowd gives a mixed response, Healius' fans are cheering for him, whereas some of the fans want to see these 4 way matches.
Styles: Well, Healius does have a valid point, he was the ICW World Champ when ICW went out of business last year.
Healius: But just to make the ICW higher-ups happy, and to prove to everyone that I am the greatest wrestler here in the ICW, I will advance to RolePlayMania, and I will once again be the ICW World Heavyweight Champion!
"Change" by the Deftones interrupts Healius, as out from the back comes Chuck Finn, to a fair response from the crowd.
Styles: If I could borrow a line, looks like business is about to pick up!
Soprano: If I could borrow a line, MAMA-MIA!
Chuck Finn, holding a mic, stops on the ramp, smiling, and begins to address Healius
Chuck Finn: Whats that you say, Healius? You're going to be the ICW Champion? Haha...you know thats the funniest story I've heard in quite some time, I thank you very much, I needed a good laugh.
Healius: Listen, I dont have a problem with you, but if you want, I can get a problem, very quickly.
Chuck Finn: Oh, but you do have a problem with me. You do. Because you see, I'm in this very 4 way match with you, and well...lets just say your dreams of obtaining the ICW title once again will be shattered very early, if I have any say about it.
Styles: Wow, these New York fans arent treating Chuck Finn very warmly for some reason.
Healius: Alright, you want it that way, lets get this started right here, right now, I got all of these great New York City fans on my side, LET'S GO!
The crowd pops heavily
Chuck Finn: You're going to get a beating, old man.
Chuck Finn drops the mic as he rushes the ring, and slides in. Healius is waiting for him, as he hammers down on Finn's back with some big fists.
Styles: They're not waiting for the match to begin!!!
Healius picks Chuck Finn up and whips him into the ropes. Finn ducks under Healius' clothesline attempt, and hits him with an elbow block. Healius falls to one knee, and begins unfastening his title belt from around his waist. Chuck Finn turns to the crowd and raises his hands in the air, as they somewhat boo him. Finn turns around to meet Healius, as Healius "belts" him in the face, with the ICW world title title!
Styles: Belt to the face!!
Soprano: Ey, dat Healius fella shows no respect. His muddah should be ashamed.
Styles: It's legal, the match hasnt started yet!
Healius drops his belt, as a ring attendant picks it up and carries it back to the timekeepers table.
Meanwhile, Healius picks Chuck Finn up, and once again whips him into the ropes.
Finn bounces off the ropes, and comes back towards Healius. Healius kicks him, and sets him up for the Roman Collar, but Finn reverses it into a FVD! Healius manages to flip out of that, and he locks Finn up in the Potomac River Plunge!
Styles: That is it right there!! But wait, the match hasnt started yet!
Healius goes for the cover, but Referee Timmy White just stands there, seeing as how the bell hasnt even rang yet.
Healius stands up and motions to the ref to make the 1-2-3, as "Invisible" by Sugar Ray hits, and out come both Inmates! The fans cheer as many colored lights flash over the arena. We see a shot of Healius look on at the Inmates coming down the aisle, as the color reflects off of his body, making him many different colors.
Styles: It's the Inmates, the Inmates!!
Soprano: Healius der betta watch out.
The Inmates hit the ring, as Healius begins to try to fight them off, punching 814, and kicking 813, he keeps this up for a moment, but 813 clubs Healius in the back, and he goes down, as the two start to stomp away on the former ICW champ. 814 signals to 813, and The Inmates whip Healius into the ropes, catching him with a double clothesline.
The Inmates pick Healius back up, as 814 puts him between his legs, and he lifts him up for a powerbomb, assisted by 813. Healius hits HARD on the canvas!
Ding, Ding,
Finally the match is underway.
Styles: Finally, the match is underway!
Didnt I just say that?
Styles: Hey, shut up! At this time fans, I'd like to explain the rules of this match. Eliminations occur, by pinfalls, submissions, disqualifications, and being thrown over the top rope.
Soprano: Yo, dats right, youse gotsta go ova the top rope. None of that goin true the middle rope bullshit.
814 Makes the cover on Healius, as Chuck Finn gets back up and starts to go to work on 813.
1...
2...
Kickout by Healius!
814 gets Healius to his feet, and whips him into the turnbuckle. Healius hits so hard, he comes walking back out of the turnbuckle. 814 drops Healius with a big boot a-la Test! Healius goes down like a ton of bricks!
Styles: Oh...my...GAWD!
184 again makes the cover on Healius
1...
2...
Kickout by Healius!
Styles: Try as he might, the big man cannot keep Healius down!
Chuck Finn works on 813 in the corner, working him over with punches and kicks. Chuck Finn rears back and winds up for a big right, when 813 grabs him by the head, and trades places with him, putting Finn in the corner! 813 punches at Finn, working from his head to his lower body. Then 813 steps back a few steps, and comes charging in with his shoulder!
Soprano: Holy fuck!
Finn leap-frogs 813, as 813 goes crashing into the ring post. Finn rolls over and hooks 813 up in a sunset flip out of the corner!
Styles: He's got him, he's got him!
1...
2...
Kickout by 148-813!
Chuck Finn gets up, and crouches down like the Rock would, waiting for 813 to get up. Little does he know 814 is standing behind him! 814 taps Finn on the shoulder, and Finn turns around right into a massive CHOKE-SLAM from the big man!!
Finn hits the mat as 813 gets up, and he begins to climb the turnbuckle.
Styles: Oh, this could be good!
813 stands on the top turnbuckle, and raises his hands to the crowd, as they cheer loudly. He flies off with an amazing five-star frog splash!
Styles: METHOD OF EXECUTION!!! THATS IT!
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
813 lands HARD on Finn, and as Healius is getting up, he makes the cover-
1...
2...
The count is broken by Healius!
Healius picks 813 up off of Finn, and begins to pound away on him with rights and lefts. 814 comes up behind Healius and hits him in the back of the neck with a double axe handle smash. Healius slumps to one knee, as 814 calls for a double team move. 813 starts to climb the turnbuckle, as 814 hoists Healius up in an outsiders' edge position.
Styles: Oh no, they're going for the Wrongfully Accused! No wait, 813 is up top, they're going for THE INDICTMENT!!
Soprano: I was wrongfully accused once...they tried to get my muddah to testify...
Healius wiggles free, and falls behind 814, running into the ropes, knocking 813 off the turnbuckle, causing him to straddle the top turnbuckle. Healius then turns around and hits Goodnight Nurse on 814! He goes down!
Styles: Oh my god what an enzigeeeeeri!
Soprano: You mean enziguri?
Styles: You say Soprayno, I say Soprano.
Soprano: Huh?
Healius scrambles to make the cover on 814, but he kicks out before he has the chance to even get a one count. As 814 kicks out, Chuck Finn gets back to his feet.
813 falls from the top turnbuckle to the mat, as he grabs his groin area in pain. Healius gets up, as Finn runs to the ropes, and hits him with a springboard Hurricanrana!
Styles: Like BUTTER!!!
Soprano: I like buddah.
Finn rolls through, and makes a pinning attempt-
1...
2...
Kickout by Healius!
Healius gets right back up as Finn locks up with him and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a Spear on the way back. Finn gets up and celebrates but he turns around into 814!!
Styles: Finn is going to DIE!!!
814 grabs Finn by the throat, and then picks him up into a gorilla-press position. 814 carries Finn over towards the ropes...
Styles: He's going to throw Chuck Finn out!!
Soprano: Ut oh, sounds like trubble.
814 Throws Finn over the top rope! That's it! Finn is eliminated!!!
Eliminat- no wait, Finn holds on to the middle rope, and slides back into the ring!
as Healius gets back up, so does 813, and 813 charges towards Healius with a clothesline, knocking him down. 814 kicks Finn to the outside, through the middle rope this time.
Styles: Keep in mind Chuck Finn has not been eliminated.
Soprano: Yeah, you must go ova the top rope.
814 comes over to Healius and 813 and deliver a double power bomb to the former ICW champ. 813 acts like he's going down for the cover, but after 1 he pulls Healius back up, shaking his finger "no", as to say he hasnt had enough yet. 813 picks up Healius and 814 grabs him in a kind of bearhug hold. 813 starts to run towards the ropes-
Styles: The Inmates are going for an old Hart Foundation move, the Hart attack!!
813 bounces off the ropes, and as he does this, Chuck Finn hits him in the back with a steel chair!!!
Styles: Oh my god!!! What a shot, the ref didnt see it!!
Soprano: No respect, I tellya.
813 falls to his knees, as Healius hits a low blow on 814, causing him to release the hold. 814 holds his groin in pain, as Healius locks him up in the SAXA BOTTOM!!! A devastating Rock Bottom!!
Styles: He took the big man down!!!
Healius makes the cover on 814-
1...
2...
3!!!!
Eliminated, 148-814 of the Inmates
Healius gets up as Chuck Finn enters the ring, with the steel chair in tow! He swings at Healius, but Healius ducks, causing the steel chair to come crashing into referee Timmy White, who was standing behind him!!
Styles: Oh...my....GAWD!!!
Soprano: What the shit? Now there's no referee. Somebody call my muddah.
Chuck Finn looks amazed, as he drops the chair, and holds his head in suprise. Healius gets up, kicks Chuck Finn in the gut, and hits THE ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!
Styles: Pedigree on the chair! Thats it for Finn!
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
But theres no referee!!
Out runs referee Nick Patrick!!
Healius makes the cover-
1...
2...
3!!!!
Eliminated, Chuck Finn
Healius gets up, and begins to celebrate!
Styles: No no, you fool, you havent won yet, 813 is still in the match!!!
813 gets to his feet, and picks up the steel chair. He walks up behind Healius, and swings at him, as Healius once again drops to the mat, and THIS time referee Nick Patrick was standing behind him! Chair to the head of Nick Patrick!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 is somewhat suprised, and Healius gets up, trying to hit the Saxa Bottom on 813 as well, but 813 blocks it, and hits Healius in the head with the chair!!!
Soprano: SUMBODY FINALLY WHACKED HIM!!
813 tries to make the cover, but there's no referee!
813 gets up and kicks referee Nick Patrick, but he is out cold. So he then picks up Healius by the hair.
Styles: What the hell? Chuck Finn is back in the ring, and he has another chair!
Chuck Finn motions for 813 to hold Healius, so he can whack him with the chair. 813 obliges, and Finn rears back for the chairshot, and steps foward and swings-
Soprano: YEAH, WHACK HIM!!!!!
Healius drops to his knees, and Finn CRACKS 813 with a brutal chairshot to the head!!
Healius then low-blows Finn, causing him to drop the chair. Healius picks it up and cracks Finn with it as well!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 staggers back to his feet, as Healius turns around and smites him with the chair again, straight to the skull! 813 goes down!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
Healius makes the cover, as groggy offical Timmy White crawls over to make the count-
1.......
2......
2 1/2..........
2 3/4..........
3!!!!!!!!!!
Eliminated, 148-813 of the Inmates
Winner, and advancing to RolePlayMania, Healius
Healius gets up and celebrates, among the bodies, and chairs that have littered the ring.
Styles: The "true" ICW champion is going to RolePlayMania!!!
The crowd cheers loudly, as Healius rolls out of the ring, grabbing his "ICW Championship". He heads back up the ramp, where he turns around and raises his hands in celebration to the crowd. He heads to the back as the camera cuts to the ring, where Chuck Finn, and the Inmates are all laying out cold, scattered across the ring.
Styles: What a match!! We'll be right back!!
Commercial Break
Are you looking for comedy?
Are you looking for laughs?
Are you looking for something that will make you fall out of your swivel chair laughing your ass off?
Are you?
Well fuck you, what do I look like, a comed[/i]
Return to live action
Styles: Well fans, we just saw Healius win the first 4 way match, and advance on to RolePlayMania II for the ICW World Heavyweight Title. Let's go back and see how that went down.
Replay is shown
Styles: Pedigree on the chair! Thats it for Finn!
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
But theres no referee!!
Out runs referee Nick Patrick!!
Healius makes the cover-
1...
2...
3!!!!
Eliminated, Chuck Finn
Healius gets up, and begins to celebrate!
Styles: No no, you fool, you havent won yet, 813 is still in the match!!!
813 gets to his feet, and picks up the steel chair. He walks up behind Healius, and swings at him, as Healius once again drops to the mat, and THIS time referee Nick Patrick was standing behind him! Chair to the head of Nick Patrick!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 is somewhat suprised, and Healius gets up, trying to hit the Saxa Bottom on 813 as well, but 813 blocks it, and hits Healius in the head with the chair!!!
Soprano: SUMBODY FINALLY WHACKED HIM!!
813 tries to make the cover, but there's no referee!
813 gets up and kicks referee Nick Patrick, but he is out cold. So he then picks up Healius by the hair.
Styles: What the hell? Chuck Finn is back in the ring, and he has another chair!
Chuck Finn motions for 813 to hold Healius, so he can whack him with the chair. 813 obliges, and Finn rears back for the chairshot, and steps foward and swings-
Soprano: YEAH, WHACK HIM!!!!!
Healius drops to his knees, and Finn CRACKS 813 with a brutal chairshot to the head!!
Healius then low-blows Finn, causing him to drop the chair. Healius picks it up and cracks Finn with it as well!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
813 staggers back to his feet, as Healius turns around and smites him with the chair again, straight to the skull! 813 goes down!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
Healius makes the cover, as groggy offical Timmy White crawls over to make the count-
1.......
2......
2 1/2..........
2 3/4..........
3!!!!!!!!!!
Eliminated, 148-813 of the Inmates
Winner, and advancing to RolePlayMania, Healius
Healius gets up and celebrates, among the bodies, and chairs that have littered the ring.
Styles: The "true" ICW champion is going to RolePlayMania!!!
End replay
Styles: There you have it folks, Healius is now set for RPM!
Soprano: Whatsa matta witchu? We all know Chuck Finn had dat match won.
Styles: What the hell? He got his ass beat, by Healius, and the Inmates! The Inmates showed a good accounting of themselves, I figured they would both fight against each other, in the sake of ICW gold, but no they teamed up. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if the two were left alone in the ring as the final two.
Soprano: Ey, I tink we got my made man, ScottiePP7, in the back with some more announcements, AY YO, SCOTTIE!!
ScottiePP7: AY YO, TON-NY! It's time for another INSANE TUMBLE...IN THE INSANE.....uh...TUMBLER. Ms. Clee Tarus, if you will...
We see Ms. Clee Tarus, wearing a different outfit then before, mind you, walk over to the Tumbler and give it a few spins. She reaches in, and pulls out a name, handing it to PP7...
ScottiePP7: And the first name, to be in this second 4 way match to determine another participant at RolePlayMania...
Styles: WHO IS IT???
ScottiePP7: .....Vassago Arcturus!
The crowd, watching on the ScottieTRON��, gasps all at once.
Styles: WHOA, the greatest force to be reckoned with in ICW history!
Soprano: Ey, he proly aint so tuff. My boys would make him sleep wit da fishes.
Clee Tarus draws another name from the tumbler, and hands it to Scottie.
ScottiePP7: The 2nd man...The One True Warrior!
Styles: Oooh, the efed legend himself!
Soprano: Yeah he may be deh only trew warrior, but what is he gonna do when I got a magnum up against his skull? EH? TELL ME DAT, JOEY!
Styles: Uh...he'd probably kick your ass, actually.
Soprano: Are you talking to me?
Styles: Well yea-
Soprano: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
Styles: No sir, Mr. Soprano.
Soprano: Dat's more like it! Respect!
Clee Tarus draws another name, handing it to Scottie...
ScottiePP7: The 3rd man in this 4-way match...Orion!
Styles: The former LWN Interpostal champ!
Soprano: And people care...why?
Styles: Good point.
Clee Tarus pulls one more name out of the tumbler
ScottiePP7: Why dont you read the name of the final entrant?
Ms. Clee Tarus: I'd be pleased to, Scottie. The 4th and final man in this 4-way match to determine a participant in the world title 4-way match at RolePlayMania II...
Styles: WELL???
Ms. Clee Tarus: ....The angry Irish Warrior, HAVOK!
Styles: Oh, the newcomer!!
Soprano: I heard that guy is tough, even if he is a Mr. Potato Head.
Styles: hahaha Mr. Potato Head!!!
Soprano: Yeah, hehe he is a red haired BITCH!
Disclaimer: We at ICW do not reflect the opinions of Mr. Joey Styles and Mr. Tony Soprano. We apologize for this ethnic slur.
Styles: Hhaha, that piss drunk cock!
Disclaimer: We're really sorry. We at ICW dont mean to offend the Irish, red heads, Mr. Potato Head and his family, or alcoholics. We're very sorry, and we hope that with a little love, and John Lennon music, we can all live in peace.
Soprano: I fucken hate those fucken red haired skirt wearing bitches!
Disclaimer: Note that the above comments were originally said by Josh Thomas. If you dont like it, take it up with that naked bean bag sitting son of a bitch.
Styles: So its The One True Warrior, Orion, Havok, and Vassago, all going for a chance to go to RPM in the main event!! And I guess...we have comments...from all four participants?
Camera cuts to the back where we see BIKER with Havok
Biker: Ehy mI heer wthi Havok nad Havok twah od yuo tinkh fo Tony Soprano syanig htat stih aboot yuo
Havok: What the fuck? Whats wrong with you, lad?
Biker: Fnatstica Joey kcba ot yuo
Styles: Jesus...get the man some help. For the love of god...get Biker help...I believe we have more interviews.
Dan Downtown is in the back, with Orion
Orion: What the- they let you in ICW?
Dan Downtown: No, I posed as Kallista.
Orion: What the- they let Kallista in ICW?
Dan Downtown: I think the security guard was drunk.
Orion: Ah...that would explain it, eh?
Dan Downtown: Yup, so Orion, {Reading cue-cards} how do you feel about this chance to get a shot at the ICW world title?
Orion: Well I see this as a great opportunity to showcase my talents to all of these great ICW fans here in MSG. And I'd love to be in the main event at RPM!
Dan Downtown: Terrrific. Now, listen to this recording that was made earlier today:
Mr. Downtown pulls out a handheld tape recorder, and presses play-
RockyBYW: well, Orion's a woman
Tape is stopped
Dan Downtown: So, from one woman to another...
Orion: I'm not a woman! I'm far from it, and tonight I will prove it to everyone, by winning this match, and going on to RPM where I will become the next ICW world champ!
Orion storms out
Dan Downtown: Well, PSSH! He didnt have to get all pissy... back to you, Joey! Tee hee!
Styles: Erm....Dan...let me ask you a question...how are you doing?
Dan Downtown: I'm super, thanks for asking!
Styles: Heh...yeah thats what I thought.
Soprano: Is dat crazy goon a fairy?
Styles: Haha, yeah he is a fag.
Disclaimer: ICW agrees in everyway with the comments made by Mr. Joey Styles and Mr. Tony Soprano. We believe that Dan Downtown is very homosexual, and he should move to gayville, where all the gays live, and wave around their little fairy wands.
Soprano: Hey if anyone wants some fruit, just find Dan Downtown!
Styles: Hahha, that butt pirate!
Disclaimer: Yes, we really mean it.
Styles: Ok, now we have... Lord Alfred Hayes with The One True Warrior!
Camera cuts to the back, where Lord Alfred Hayes has the One True Warrior...
Didnt Styles just say that?
Lord Alfred Hayes: I'm here in the back with The One True Warrior.
Styles: Didnt I just say that?
I just said it too.
Lord Al: Warrior, how do you feel to be in this match?
The One True Warrior: Well...I think it's time that ICW had a real champion. And that real champion shall be the One True Warrior. And I will win tonight, so I can go on to RolePlayMania and win once again and become ICW Champion. Remember, I have a winning record in RPMs past. I will go on to RPM, and I will be victorious!
Lord Al: Do you like to watch midget adult porn? Because I do...
T.O.T.W.: What the hell? Get out of my way, wanker!
TOTW storms off, as Lord Al stands there, looking dissapointed
Soprano: Ey, you know, I hate dem wankers too!
Styles: Haha, yeah those freaking wankers. They're a bunch of wankers.
Disclaimer: ICW doesnt hate the English folk...we just think they're filthy Wankers, filthy and dirty like those Mexicans.
Sopranos: Haha, damn wankers!!
Styles: Those wankers!!!
Disclaimer: ICW didnt mean to offend the Mexicans. Its just that most mexicans are dirty and filthy...like the wankers. And in turn, we dont mean to offend those teethless bastard wankers. We at ICW apologize for the crude actions of Mr. Joey Styles and Mr. Tony Soprano. What do you expect from two guys who live on the east coast?
Styles: Wankers. {snicker}
Disclaimer: We at ICW mean nothing disrespectful to people who live on the East coast. Hell, ICW is from the east, itself. We're just saying the East Coast isnt as "kool" if you would, as, say, Oklahoma, particularly Wellston, Oklahoma. We sincerly apologize for all the ethnic slurs. Thank you and enjoy the rest of the show.
Styles: Well, anyway, I guess-
Camera cuts to the back, where Todd Pettengill has Vassago Arcturus, and Lilith.
Todd Pettengill: Vassago, you're back in ICW, and you're getting an opportunity to get a shot at the ICW world title. Any thoughts?
Vassago Arcturus: You bore me.
Vassago walks off, as Lilith follows him, staring down Todd along the way...
Styles: DAMNIT, FINALLY PETTENGILL SAYS SOMETHING COHERENT, AND VASSAGO BLOWS HIM OFF.
Pettengill looks appalled, as Healius comes up, with a towel around his neck, resting across his shoulders.
Healius: Was that Vassago?
Pettengill: Yes, that was Bob Backlund.
Healius: Well you tell that demonic bastard that I want him to win, so I can kick his ass at RPM, and show everyone that I am The Fucking Game of ICW!
Crowd, watching on the ScottieTRON��, cheers
Pettengill: Strong words from Diesel.
Healius: Hey, didnt I beat your ass earlier?
Suddenly from off camera Healius gets hit in the back with a steel chair. Healius goes down, as the camera pans over to show Chuck Finn standing over him, holding a steel chair.
Chuck Finn: I didnt want to have to do that...but someone had to shut your mouth.
Pettengill: Wow, he moved like a POWER RANG-
Chuck Finn smites the toddster in the cranium with the chair, and Todd falls to the floor. Finn then drops the chair, and walks off...
Soprano: Ey, dats no respect. I likea da guy, but no respect.
Styles: Poor, poor Todd. Well folks...we shall return, with our main event of the evening: The One True Warrior vs. Orion vs. Havok vs. Vassago Arcturus.
Commercial Break
Do you know someone with an itchy, dry, vaginal area?
Well your mom has that.
Yup.
That was supposed to be funny...but hey, its late, its the best I could come up with.
Disclaimer: Insane Championship Wrestling does not really know your mother. And if we did, we would not discuss her genital area. We apologize if your mother has these symptoms, for two reasons: one, if she has that, well it just has to suck. And two, if she told you about it...theres something wrong there. ICW doesnt mean to offend moms. Because moms rule. Well, my mom rules, at least.
Disclaimer: ICW does not feel that my mom is better then yours. ICW believes all mothers are created equally...except for Wanker moms, and Mexican moms.
Disclaimer: ICW, if you had not noticed, is just kidding.
We only hate-
ScottiePP7: those people that their limbs fall off
Return to live tv
Styles: It's time for the 2nd 4-way match!!
Soprano: Dats right, Vassago, Warrior, Orion, and Havok, all in de same ring. Remember, the rules are as follows: Eliminations, dey occur when a guy is pinned, a guy quits, when a guy is disqualified, or when a guy gets trown over da top rope. Capesh?
Styles: Healius has already advanced to RolePlayMania! Let's see who will join him!
"Driver Down" by Nine Inch Nails hits, as out comes former ICW world heavyweight champion Vassago Arcturus, accompanied to the ring by Lilith, and a chorus of boos.
Soprano: Christ, dis guy scares me.
Styles: In the past, this man has been unstoppable. If you'll remember back to ICW's Insane Rumble, he dominated the match, becoming the undisputed ICW world champ. Then, last year, at RolePlayMania, he took Dave Dudley to the limit, avoiding the dreaded 4D, to come out on top. This man can GO!
Amist the darkness, and the smoke, Vassago enters the ring. Vassago walks to the middle of the ring, where Lilith takes off his black trenchcoat, and then exits the ring with it. Lilith begins to walk back up the ramp, as Vassago starts to hop around in the ring, possibly warming up.
Soprano: If I was the bettin type...which Im not, mind you, I'd bet the whole salami on Vassago. He looks like he's brought his game, today.
Styles: Or he's got hell backing him up.
Soprano: I shuddah to think.
Lilith makes her way to the stage as the lights dim to a blood red, and the "Halloween" theme plays.
Lilith stops in her tracks, as she is obviously frightened.
Styles: Ut-oh...this could get interesting...
Soprano: Fuhgeddaboudit!
Vassago notices this, and hops over the top rope to the floor, and begins to run up the ramp.
He runs up to Lilith, and stands in front of her, and starts to talk to her, the cameras dont pick up what he's saying, though. Then, suddenly, from behind, The One True Warrior bursts through the curtains, weilding a steel chair!!
Styles: The Warrior is here!!
TOTW hits Vassago in the back with the steel chair as he drops to his knees. Lilith runs to the back, as TOTW raises the chair to the fans, to get a very nice pop.
Vassago gets to his feet, as TOTW swings the chair at the side of his head, very Edge and Christian conchairto-like. Vassago ducks, and delivers a swift left jab to TOTW's side, causing him to drop the chair. Vassago gets up, and rakes TOTW's eyes. Vassago bends down to pick the chair up, but TOTW hammers him in the back. He locks Vassago up into a full nelson-
Soprano: Whoa, whats he gonna do here?
FULL NELSON SLAM ON THE METAL STAGE!!!
Styles: Oh...my...GOD!!!
Vassago appears to be hurt somewhat, but he just rolls over, onto his knees.
TOTW picks up his steel chair once again and cracks Vassago, who is on his hands and knees, in the back!
Styles: Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!!!
Soprano: DATS ONE SPICY MEAT-A BALL!
Vassago rolls, writhing in pain, as TOTW raises the chair to the crowd once again, this time to quite the eruption from them.
The camera suddenly cuts to the back, where we see Orion walking through the halls, pounding his fist into his hand ala Silent Bob.
Suddenly, Havok comes flying from off camera with a flying forearm, knocking Orion down. Havok kicks Orion as he tries to get to his feet, Havok sends him down with an armbar, and locks in a Crippler Crossface, right there on the concrete!
Styles: Havok has his move, the Rings of Havok, on Orion, in the back!!!
Soprano: Damn, he's gonna break his arm!
Havok pulls back on Orion, who is tapping out on the floor.
Styles: Come on, theres not even a ref back there!
Havok releases the hold, slamming Orions face into the floor. Havok stands up, and pulls up Orion by the hair. Havok positions Orion over towards a technicians table in the back, and delivers a hellacious Belly To Back Suplex THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Styles: OH...MY...GOD!!!
Soprano: HOLY MACARONI!!!
Havok gets up, and begins to walk towards the arena entrance as the camera shows Orion laying in the table wreckage, struggling to get up
Styles: Now Havok is coming to the ring!
Soprano: Well, he IS in this match, Joey.
Styles: But he took out Orion already, he may not be able to continue this match!
Meanwhile, TOTW has herded Vassago back to the ring, where TOTW still wields the chair. He picks it up to swing at Vassago, but referee Jack Mehoff pulls it away from him! TOTW turns around to dispute this, as Vassago charges TOTW from behind, kicking TOTW in the legs. TOTW goes to his knees, as Vassago locks in a surfboard type move, and slaps a dragon sleeper on!
Styles: That right there is the Lake of Fire! And its a deadly move!
Soprano: Ah, dats gotta hoit. He's gonna be quittin pretty soon, you can bet on it. Not that I would, because you know, I dont gamble or nothin.
TOTW flails his arms around as Jack Mehoff checks to see if he's giving up. Vassago, who is cranking on the hold, has a devilish grin on his face.
Suddenly, Bob Dylan's "Things Have Changed" hits the PA and Havok comes running out, to some loud heel heat.
Soprano: Ey, wheres his woman, Angee?
Styles: This is an important match, he must have not wanted her to get in the way...
Havok slides in the ring, and begins to kick at TOTW's exposed midsection, as Vassago has TOTW in the Lake of Fire.
Styles: The One True Warrior cant take much more, I'm sure!
Havok stops stomping on TOTW, and drops an elbow to Vassago's face, causing him to break the hold.
Havok picks up Vassago, and whips him into the ropes, attempting a clothesline. Vassago ducks, and hits Havok with a Facebreaker Kick!
Havok goes down, as TOTW starts to get to his feet.
Styles: Oh my god what a kick! That might have knocked Havok out!
Vassago attempts a cover on Havok, referee Jack Mehoff is there to make the count-
1....
2....
Kickout, by Havok!
Vassago gets up only to walk right into a Sidewalk slam from TOTW! TOTW slams him down, and hooks the leg-
1....
2....
Kickout, by Vassago!
TOTW gets Vassago to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. He attempts a clothesline, but Vassago ducks. On the way back, Vassago attempts another facebreaker kick, but TOTW sidesteps! Vassago gets up with his back turned, as TOTW locks in a sleeper hold!
Styles: Thats it, the warriors dream!!
Vassago tries to wiggle free, as Havok gets back to his feet, groggy. Havok sees TOTW locking in the sleeper on Vassago, and he steps back, and lunges foward with a superkick, aimed towards Vassago, who slides out of the sleeper at the last second, causing TOTW to take a brutal superkick to the face!
Soprano: Fuck me!
Styles: DAMN!
TOTW and Havok both fall to the mat, and all three men are down on the mat.
Styles: Now we're basically back to where we started!
Vassago is the first to get to his feet, as he rolls to the outside of the ring.
Soprano: Ey, didnt he just elminate himself?
Styles: No, you have to go OVER the top rope, remember? I think Vassago is just trying to re-group.
Havok and TOTW start to stir in the ring. Havok gets to his feet first, as TOTW soon follows suit. Havok takes down TOTW's legs with a double leg sweep, and locks in a Sharpshooter!!
Styles: Thats it, its over for The Warrior!!!
Havok really cranks back on the Sharpshooter, as referee Jack Mehoff once again asks TOTW if he wants to give up, which he constantly replies to with a stern "NO!"
Styles: TOTW is taking a beating!
Soprano: Ey, he cant take much more...
Suddenly, Jamaica Ashe's "Conform" hits, and out runs Orion wielding a steel chair!!!
He runs to the ring, slides in, and CRACKS Havok in the head with the chair, causing him to release the hold!
Styles: Ladies and gentlemen, in true ICW tradition, ScottiePP7 has just ordered this match no DQ, he has just informed us, and the referee, and the match will now be no DQ, he doesnt want to see a Disqualification with this kind of action!
Soprano: Good call, Scottie, my MADE MAN!
Orion picks up Havok, and throws him through the middle rope, as he follows him to the outside, where they begin to brawl.
Meanwhile, Vassago slides back into the ring, as TOTW is starting to get back up. Vassago walks over to the warrior, as he hits him with an elbow to the gut. TOTW hits Vassago with a headbutt, followed up by a kick to the midsection. TOTW whips Vassago to the ropes, and hits his wrist bands, breaking open the packets of ether he keeps in his wrist bands!
Styles: Hey, he's got ether! IF he locks the sleeper on Vassago now, theres no way he can NOT fall asleep!
Vassago bounces off the ropes as TOTW swings around and catches him in a sleeper! Vassago reverses out of it, though, and hits him with a backdrop suplex. TOTW goes down, and Vassago notices the ether packets. He grabs TOTW's wrists, and rolls him over, and catches him in a Riku-Raku stretch(camel clutch with the arms crossed, and the opponent pulls back on the arms, as the arms are around the mans face, does that make sense? Play WWF No Mercy, bitches.) Vassago smothers the ether packets into TOTW's face!
Styles: The Warriors own strategy comes into play against him! The Warrior is going to go out!
Soprano: Vassago almost saw the ether packets coming there...its like he knew what to do!
The One True Warrior struggles, but finally he passes out, from the ether. Vassago, a little woozy from the ether himself, wobbles back to the corner, and slumps down.
Meanwhile, on the outside, Havok and Orion are brawling. Havok shoves Orion down, and enters the ring. He slides in, and locks on the crippler crossface on the unconcious TOTW.
Styles: Oh come on, that is cheap, the man is out cold!
The ref notices that The One True Warrior is out cold, and rings the bell.
Eliminated, The One True Warrior
Havok gets up, and celebrates, as the ref rolls TOTW out of the ring. Havok flips off the crowd , as they boo, boo, boo...
Styles: These New York fans are disgusted by Havok!
Soprano: Dese New York fans are stupid. I like Havok,hes my kinda guy. I should invite him over for some spaghettios.
Styles: Italians dont eat Spaghettios...
Soprano: The hell they dont!
Havok revels in the fan's hatred for him. Orion, who is on the outside, enters the ring, and comes up behind Havok. Havok is mocking the fans, as they point behind him, and yell out "LOOK BEHIND YOU!!" Havok Laughs, and turns around, and is greeted with a kick to the midsection, and THE ORIONS BELT!!! Havok goes down!
Styles: What a Michinoku Driver!
Orion makes the cover on Havok-
1....
2....
3!!!!
Eliminated, Havok
Orion picks up Havok and tosses him out of the ring.
Soprano: Haha, take that, you [refer to the disclaimers for such a remark]
Orion dusts his hands off, and smiles, as he turns around, to see Vassago, slumped in the corner. Vassago stands straight up, and stares down Orion.
Styles: It's like Orion has looked straight into hell! He's as white as my ass!
Orion walks a little closer, as does Vassago. Vassago motions for Orion to "bring it on", as Orion picks up a steel chair.
Soprano: Ha, now its fair!
Styles: What are you talking about? Orion is one hell of an athlete, he's a former LWN Interpostal Champion for gods sakes!
Orion steps foward and swings the chair at Vassago's skull! Vassago braces for the impact, ducking his head down. No effect.
Styles: OH...MY...GOD!!!
Orion swings again, this time Vassago staggers a bit.
Styles: He still wont go down!!
Soprano: Damn, I gotta get this guy to work for me...
Orion swings again, but Vassago punches the chair back into Orion's face!!! Orion hits the mat, the chair goes flying!
Styles: {high pitched} OHMYGOD!!!!
Vassago smiles, as Orion gets back up, hitting Vassago with a low-blow. Vassago keels over, slightly. Orion kicks Vassago in the gut, and sets him up for the Catch 22! He lifts him up in the razors edge position.
Styles: Orion could pull it off!!
Vassago slides out of the razors edge, and turns around, locking him in a reverse front chancory type hold. He grabs the tights, and lifts him up into a dragon suplex, and he drops Orion down with a diamond cutter!
Styles: The Apocalypse!!! Thats it, its over, its over!!
Soprano: Good god DAMN!
Vassago picks Orion, who is damn year unconcious, up by the hair. Vassago grabs Orion by the throat, and walks over toward the ropes. He locks both hands around Orion's throat, and tosses him OVER THE TOP ROPE, CAUSING ORION TO CRASH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!
Styles: HOLY SHIT!!!!! {clunk}
The announce team's headsets get knocked off.
Vassago raises his hands in the air, in victory!
Eliminated, Orion
Winner, and advancing to RolePlayMania, Vassago Arcturus
Orion is shown decimated, laying in the wreckage of the announce table.
Styles: Tony, can you hear me?
Soprano: MISTER SOPRANO!!!
Styles: Dont worry about that right now, Orion is DEAD!! Vassago just tossed him over the top rope with ease! He is...he is...he's inhuman!
Vassago celebrates in the ring, as the fans boo with all of their might. "Driver Down" hits the PA once again, as Vassago, smiling evilishly, makes his way to the back.
Styles: For the love of god, someone get some help for Orion!
Soprano: Damn, you sound like JR, now!
Styles: Shut up, this is no time for jokes!
Soprano: WHATSA MATTA WITCHU?
Styles: Ladies and gentlemen, ICW is back, Two of the four participants for the main event at RolePlayMania are set, as Healius and Vassago will be part of the 4-way dance to determine the ICW world Heavyweight Champion! Orion has been destroyed here! And we're out of time! Thank you very much for joining us here tonight, for Todd Pettengill, and Tony Soprano, this is Joey Styles, saying goodnight!
The camera shows Orion laying in the wreckage of the table, as he starts to stir around, as the camera fades out...
end transmission