Post by Dave Dangerously on May 18, 2008 0:16:50 GMT -6
Cameras pick up in the back, as we see a black limo pull up towards the entrance of the Arco Arena in downtown Sacremento, California.
The limo glimmers as the light shines off the shiny smooth paintjob. The limo stops, as the cameraman walks from the front of the limo to the side, where we see the door.
Joey Styles: Now, who could be in that limo?
Todd Pettengill: Perhaps it's NYPD Blue star John Turturro!!!
Joey Styles: What the?
The limo door opens, as we see Mrs. Clee Tarus step out, and adjust her fur coat. Behind her, steps out ScottiePP7, as he adjusts his tie, and dusts off his suit. He looks at Clee Tarus, and takes her by the arm, and walks off camera range...
Joey Styles: The boss is here!! Tonight!! OH MY GOD!!!
The ICW Thursday Inferno opening plays, as we see all the neat computer graphics and whatnot. Also shots of great ICW moments in the ring.
"Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails plays as the opening rolls, and then cuts to LOTS of flaming "Inferno" pyro coming up from the stage.
The camera cuts to a shot of this sold-out Arco Arena on a warm, Spring evening. We see the crowd jam-packed to the rafters, and we see such signs as:
"ICW: IT'S AWESOME, BABY!"
"THE USE OF SIGNS IN OPENERS IS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT, OVERRATED. IF YOU THINK IT IS, THEN YOU MY FRIEND ARE A FOOL, AND WILL BE SHOT."
"BRING BACK ICYCHILLER!!!!!"
"NO DONT LISTEN TO THAT GUY, HE'S STUPID."
"NO, THAT GUY IS ICYCHILLER!"
"AMALEK FEARS DUDLEY"
"DUDLEY FEARS NO ONE"
"EXCEPT LMO'S MOM"
The camera fixes itself on the announce table:
Joey Styles: Hello everyone, I am Joey Styles, and welcome to Insane Championship Wrestling, on your HOME, for Insane Championship Wrestling, The great station of-
Tony Soprano: Anudder fuckin' tragedy. No one cares about the station, Joey S. All dey care about is some great ICW action and me, the real godfather in wrestling, Ton-ny Soprano.
Todd Pettengill: And I am "THE TODDSTER" The one and only MASTER of the Strategy tip,Todd Pettengill, and I must say, it will be an awesome night here tonight on the WWF Action Zone!!!
Styles: Uh...I think Biker would be better, then this guy.
Soprano: Ey, didnt we see da boss a little while ago?
Pettengill: Vince McMahon, on TV? OUTRAGEOUS!
Styles: Well ScottiePP7 is here tonight, but we don't know what his intent-
"The Bond Theme" by Moby hits, and ScottiePP7 comes out with Mrs.Clee Tarus to a chorus of boos from the fans.
Soprano: Ey, dese here fans dont have no respect for the main mang, man.
Styles: Uh...what?
PP7 and Clee Tarus enter the ring, as Scottie poses for the fans as Clee Tarus walks over to ring announcer Howard Finkel and grabs the mic, handing it to Scottie.
ScottiePP7: Hello SACREMENTO!!!
The crowd boos...but in a happy way, because hey, they are Sacremento.
ScottiePP7: I'm glad to see you all here tonight! This marks ICW's first week back in business! Give ICW a round of applause!
The fans applause, but only because they love ICW, as do all of you.
ScottiePP7: And you know...I've been checking out the news lately. And as I'm sure most of you know...the WWF has bought the WCW.
Styles: ABOUT DAMN TIME!
ScottiePP7: Yes, yes I know all of you are excited about it. Now, in a related story...I plan on buying out the EWA. You know the people who tried to merge with us back in the day?
The crowd boos...Sacremento is ICW country, as is the rest of the Continental US
ScottiePP7: I thought you'd all like this?
The crowd boos even more heavily
Styles: The crowd is right, who would want that piece of shit?
ScottiePP7: Ah well, screw it. I'll save my money for other things. Besides, I already own half of it, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The crowd cheers
ScottiePP7: Now the real reason I'm here tonight, is to discuss a few things. Mostly, the tag team title. Now I know you all know that there are no tag team champions here in ICW. Well, that will change because next week, we WILL crown new tag team champions!!
the crowd pops massively
Styles: Yes! ICW has always had rich tag team history, looks like its going to continue.
Soprano: Ha, what ICW you been watchin?
Pettengill: The Godwins win the tag team titles!!!
Styles: Jesus, shut up.
ScottiePP7: The ICW roster shall be involved in INSANE RUMBLE 3!!! The final two men remaining in the match shall be crowned the new ICW World Tag Team champions!
the crowd pops...then realizes how much PP7 sucks, and they start an
"ASSHOLE,
ASSHOLE
ASSHOLE" chant.
Styles: Whoa! Insane Rumble 3 for the tag titles!
ScottiePP7: Now keep in mind, that's just the preliminary name for the event...but either way, the tag title scene will be settled, next week, on either a special edition of Monday Mayhem, Wednesday Wreck, or Thursday Inferno. Stay tuned to ICW programming for updates. I KNOW you're all excited about this. Why you ask? Well, because its ICW. And...
Crowd chants
"SCOTT-IE SUCKS
SCOTT-IE SUCKS
SCOTT-IE SUCKS"
ScottiePP7: I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!!!!!!
"The Bond Theme" hits once again as ScottiePP7 and Mrs. Clee Tarus leave the ring, as the crowd gives a mixed reaction.
Soprano: Daaaaamn, da shit has hit da proverbial fan.
Styles: What a big announcement, as I'm hearing we have some comments now from The One True Warrior, whos in the back with the one, the only, Atlanta Braves superstar, John Rocker!
Soprano: No relation, to Andy Rocker, who is one fine paisan.
Pettengill: The Rockers broke up!!! I cant believe it!
Styles: Damnit, you werent even IN the WWF when that happened.
Camera cuts to back, where John Rocker is in the back with The One True Warrior. Rocker has on a "Nuke the Goukes" t-shirt.
Disclaimer: ICW doesnt harbor any harsh tendencies towards any race, or group of people. All comments are courtesy of John Rocker, and DL Glaze. Not that DL Glaze feels this way. Unless you are Indian.
John Rocker: I'm here with The One True Warrior, and Warrior, how do you feel about the words from that red-haired bastard Havok?
T.O.T.W.: Havok has been a thorn in my side since i was "The Vindicator".. He''s nothing but a second rate wrestler who happen to get lucky afew times!
T.O.T.W. turns towards the camera
T.O.T.W.: His challenge is as weak and sad as he is..
John Rocker: Second rate, just like those damn Mexicans. And speaking of that challenge, what do you have to say about it, to that potato-eating piece of shit?
T.O.T.W.: I will accept this Warrior's Den Match at I.C.W.'s next PPV RolePlayMania II !! When i will show the whole fucking world that The One True Warrior still has the stuff after all these years!
John Rocker: Yes, and all those mexican wetbacks will tremble before your feet, because they are mexican, and...we're not. Any closing words for that drunken fool, Havok?
T.O.T.W.: Havok is just like Mexicans.. they are both wet backs!!! Havok .. Son your time in the spotlight is comming to an end! RoleplayMania is where legends live and you are from from that!! The One True Warrior may not be fighting for that trinket of gold but i will be there to kick some "Irish" ass and son that ass belongs to you!!
John Rocker: Strong words from the NON-MEXICAN T.O.T.W. Back to you, Joey.
Camera cuts back to announce table, where Todd Pettengill is drawing, Tony Soprano is laughing, and Joey Styles' mouth is hanging open
Joey Styles: Oh my god...If that doesnt get us cancelled...I dont know what will.
Tony Soprano: Oh man, that was great.
Todd Pettengill: {Holding up picture} Look, its SCOOP SULLIVAN, SQUARED CIRCLE SUPERSTAR!!
Styles: Commercial, NOW, NOW!!!
Commercial Break
RPHagan: Hey....sorry for not roleplaying
RPHagan: I'll try and cook something up soon
DaVE DuDLeY 632: lol, kool
RPHagan: Amalek needs to too!
DaVE DuDLeY 632: YES, HE DOES
DaVE DuDLeY 632: OH MY GOD
DaVE DuDLeY 632: ILL KILL HIM
RPHagan: lol
Back to live action
Styles: Wrestling fans, it's time for the 3rd and Final Beast, Amalek, to go one on one with the Semi-Heel with the sex appeal, the REAL DEAL...Clark Steele.
Tony Soprano: Fuck shit cocksucker.
Styles: Amen to that!
"Everything Sucks" hits, and the crowd gives HUGE heat as Amalek makes his way out, accompanied as usual by the lovely Cleo.
Joey Styles: Last Monday on Mayhem, Amalek advanced to the four-way at RPM2 by defeating three other men in his qualifying match; obviously he's picking up right where he left off in the Old ICW!
Todd Pettengill: The Undertaker, the most destructive force in wrestling history!
Tony Soprano: I'sa gotta cousin whose a' undataka. Ya know, buries people whosa got whacked.
Amalek enters the ring via the steps, then takes a mic from the ring announcer.
Amalek: SteEle...fIrsT I bEat yOUr aSs in ICW...thEn I cARriED yOuR aSS in EWA...nOw the cYcLe haS to rePeat...LMao...sO whEn yoU sTeP inTo the rInG, I'm gOinG to FRANCHISE yOuR paTHeTiC baG oF sKin...aNd afTer tHat, I'lL gO oN to RPMaNiA, aNd taKe baCK mY beLT, reGardLeSs of whAt thAt puSSywhIpped piEce oF shIt hEalius sAys...
Tony Soprano: Damn, that was hard to read.
Todd Pettengill: He's demonic! Like a Power Ranger!
Joey Styles: Jesus, now he can't even get his own lines right.
"Man in the Box" hits, drawing a mixed reaction for Clark Steele. Steele sprints down to the ramp, and slides in.
Todd Pettengill: Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Hell in a Cell! Here we go!
Amalek immediately delivers a kick to Steele's midsection, and then clubs the back of his neck with a forearm. He fires him into the ropes, and delivers a quick back elbow. Amalek hooks Steele up for a suplex, and lands it.
Joey Styles: Snap suplex from Amalek!
Tony Soprano: Snap, like a leg bustin, eh?
Amalek whips Steele into the corner, and follows it up with a huge body splash! As Steele slumps in the corner, he looks out into the crowd...and then begins stomping mercilessly at Steele, to the crowd's disapproval.
Tony Soprano: Ey, ey, whasssa matta wid dem? Da man is juss doin' his job!
Joey Styles: Come on, Mr. Soprano, there's no need for cheap shots!
Tony Soprano: Ey, is dat disrospect I hear?
Joey Styles: Ummm, no sir.
Tony Soprano: Das what I like to hear.
Back in the ring, Amalek has pulled Steele up and whipped him into the ropes...powerslam! Amalek hooks the leg, 1...
2...
Steele gets his shoulder up!
Joey Styles: Amalek almost ended it early!
Tony Soprano: End early, das wha' we do to people when we WHACK em.
Joey Styles: Can you go a sentence without talking about the mob?
Tony Soprano: More disrospect, Joey, me and youse are gonna have to settle dis like adults if da disrospect continues. 'Sides, I don'tsa know nuddin about no mob.
Amalek ascends the top rope, and leaps off looking for Atonement, but Steele moves out of the way, and Amalek hits the mat hard!
Joey Styles: OUCH, Amalek caught nothing but mat!
Todd Pettengill: Now's the Heartbreak Kid's chance for a comeback!
Amalek and Steele both slowly rise to their feet. Amalek looks for a right, but Steele ducks under and slides behind Amalek, hooks him up, and hits a back suplex. Steele hits the ropes, and as Amalek rises to his feet, he hits him with a spin kick, sending Amalek toppling over the ropes and out of the ring! Amalek slowly gets his wits about him and stands up...but Steele comes flying over the ropes with a cross body, laying out Amalek again!
Joey Styles: OH MY GAWD, Steele just wrecked Amalek!
Todd Pettengill: The Undertaker is down! The Undertaker is down! This is unbelievable!
Joey Styles: Thanks for ruining a great move.
Tony Soprano: ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
Joey Styles: Ummmm, no.
Tony Soprano: Das what I thought.
As Amalek begins to pull himself up, Steele crouches a bit in the pre-spear position! He charges at Amalek...ONLY TO BE CAUGHT WITH A RING BELL TO THE FACE FROM THE FR
Tony Soprano: He got whacked!
Todd Pettengill: That's ether! HBK doesn't stand a chance!
Tony Soprano: Whosa dis aych bee kay?
Amalek lifts Steele up and slides his limp body into the ring. He then pulls him up again, signals to the crowd, and locks in The Heretic!
Todd Pettengill: The chickenwing! The chickenwing! The crossface chickenwing on Bret by Bob Backlund!
However, before the move can do much damage, Steele shoots his right leg upwards into Amalek's groin!
Tony Soprano: NOW DAS SOME HIGH-LEVEL DISROSPECT.
Joey Styles: Indeed!
Tony Soprano: Eh?
Steele once again waits patiently for Amalek to regain his footing. As Amalek gets back to his feet, he delivers a devastating superkick, the Steele Spike!
Todd Pettengill: SWEET CHIN MUSIC!
Joey Styles: STEELE SPIKE
Tony Soprano: HE KICKED HIM RIGHT IN DA FACE!
Steele quickly pulls Amalek up, and applies a side headlock, he runs toward the corner, looking for the Steele Plummet, but Amalek pushes him off and into the ropes. On the way back, Amalek hits him with a kick to the gut, he jacks him up, and delivers a crucifix powerbomb! He covers! 1...
2...
Steele ki
Todd Pettengill: HE KICKED OUT OF THE RAZOR'S EDGE! INCREDIBLE!
Joey Styles: For once, I've got to agree with you!
Amalek continues unwavered, firing Steele into the ropes with a whip...and catching him with a big boot on the way back! He looks out into the crowd, hits the ropes, and lands a huge leg drop across the throat of Steele!
Joey Styles: Shades of the Hulkster!
Todd Pettengill: Shhhhh! Vince won't be happy about that!
Tony Soprano: Eh, I'sa can take care of dis "Vince" for a certain price...
Amalek covers...1...
2...
Steele rolls his shoulder! Amalek, now frustrated, pulls Steele to his feet, and grabs him around the neck! He hoists him up...CHOKESLAM!
Todd Pettengill: Tombstone time!
Joey Styles: I guess he's worked his way back around...
Amalek pulls Steele up from the mat, and scoops him over his shoulder!
Todd Pettengill: Oh my God! Ric Flair slid the chair into the ring! This is going to kill the Hulkster!
Joey Styles: When the hell DID you work for the WWF?
Before Amalek can finish the move, Steele slides back down over Amalek's shoulder! Amalek turns around, to be met with a boot to the gut and a DDT! Steele covers! 1...
2...
Amalek powers out!
Joey Styles: Amalek almost lost it in a matter of seconds!
Todd Pettengill: DDT! He's bringing out Damien!
Steele looks for a whip on Amalek, but Amalek reverses, and catches Steele with a superkick!
Joey Styles: Looks like that offense by Steele was short lived...wait a second!
"Sparks" hits, big pop for Healius! He charges to the ring, chair in hand, and hops up to the apron! Amalek and he start jawing from considerable distance, and Amalek is unaware Steele is almost to his feet! Healius signals to Steele, who tries to push Amalek into a chairshot, but Amalek reverses it into a whip, sending Steele into Healius and both of their heads into the chair! Healius slumps to the floor and Steele staggers backwards...right into the Call of Azrael!
Tony Soprano: He whacked both of em!
Joey Styles: You're right, Steele can't hold out with this hold on!
Steele fights the cobra clutch for a few seconds, then quickly taps out! The ref calls for the bell, but Amalek doesn't break the hold!
Joey Styles: This move has killed in the past!
Amalek keeps the hold on...5 seconds...10 seconds...15 seconds...20 seconds...finally, he breaks the hold, and Steele's limp body falls to the mat. Amalek arrogantly exits the ring, and stops over Healius' body. He looks at the crowd with an arrogant smirk, and picks Healius up...CORKSCREW PILEDRIVER ON THE RAMP!
Joey Styles: OH...MY...GAWD!
Amalek gets up as we see Vassago Arcturus standing at the entrance curtain, smiling, in approval. Amalek walks past Vassago, as Vassago turns around and heads to the back as well.
Tony Soprano: I like da way dis guy does business. I should have some pasta wid him.
As the cameras show Healius and Steele laying out cold, on the ramp, and in the ring, respectively, the show goes to commercial.
Commercial Break:
Tired of the same old cereal?
Then try DUDLEY-O'S!!!
What are, Dudley-O's, exactly?
It's simple. Take every cereal you love...and mix them together, but add more love...and you have Dudley-O's.
A shot of the Dudley-O's factory is seen:
We see Dave Dudley making Dudley-O's.
He has boxes of Cheerios, then he has boxes of Fruit Loops, Coco Puffs, Urkel-O's, C-3PO's, Ninja Turtle Cereal, Lucky Charms, Honey bunches of oats, corn flakes, frosted flakes, corn pops, apple jacks, crispix, every other damn cereal, bags of sugar, cat piss, and broken glass, and he's putting them all into this huge vat, where boxes of Dudley-O's are being filled from.
Dave Dudley: Hey...what the hell? Get that camera out of here, OUT OF HERE!
Dave's hand covers up the camera, as a message shows on the screen:
"Dudley-O's...it's a bunch of shit...and all your favorite cereals too."
Back to live action:
Styles: Well, ladies and gents, it's time for Vassago vs. QPublic. If you'll remember, Vassago helped his... friend? Amalek out on Mayhem, by helping him eliminate the other matches in the RPM qualifying 4 way match. He costed QPublic a shot at the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.
Soprano: Fuck shit cocksucker piss douchebag fuck ass.
Styles: What?
Soprano: Fucking shit cuntrag shit piss.
Pettengill: Yup. It's been confirmed...Doink IS a clown.
Styles: EFWO is starting to look better then this...
"Lullaby" by Ghoti Hook plays, as Johnny Q Public comes out to a big pop from the crowd. QPublic sticks his arms out on the ramp Raven-Esque, as the crowd cheers even louder. QPublic walks down the ramp and slides into the ring, where he poses some more, and basks in the fan's glory.
"Driver Down" by Nine Inch Nails hits, as the crowd's excitement and admiration for QPublic quickly turns to almost silence, as the fans seem intimidated by Vassago Arcturus. Vassago walks out to the stage accompanied by Lilith, as Lilith proceeds to take his trenchcoat, as Vassago runs down the ramp, charging into the ring.
Styles: Looks like this one is gonna get underway right now!!
Soprano: MAMA-MIA!!!
Pettengill: Go get em, Diesel!
Vassago slides in, only to be beat on by QPublic, as he pounds on him with forearm clubs to the back. QPublic picks Vassago up, and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, QPublic drops Vassago with a swinging neckbreaker.
Styles: Damn, what a neckbreaker!
Soprano: FUCK ME!!!
Vassago sits up, much like the Undertaker, to the suprise of QPublic.
Pettengill: You cant stop the Undertaker!
Styles: Damnit, you already talked about the Undertaker!
Pettengill: Buy my scooter.
Soprano: Ey, go easy on the boy, Styles...he's had too much blow, methinks.
Styles: Why should I feel sorry for him? He's an idiot, it's not like you feel sorry for him!
Soprano: Fucking shit hits me right here.
QPublic dropkicks Vassago right in the face, as Vassago is still sitting up. Vassago drops down to the mat, as QPublic climbs to the outside, and stands on the apron. He grabs ahold of the ropes, and slingshots over with a guillotine legdrop!
He makes the cover on Vassago:
1...
KICKOUT BY VASSAGO!!
Styles: Oh...my...god, he kicked out after one!
Soprano: Whatsa matta with Johnny Q? He cant get the job done, he's not my kinda made man, if you know what I'm sayin. You know what I mean?
Styles: Yeah, I know.
Soprano: You smell what I'm steppin in?
Styles: Yeah, I smell it.
Pettengill: Yeah, smells like foot and ass.
Soprano: Hey, never disgrace me like that again, or I'll whack your mudder.
Styles: Show some respect!
QPublic pulls Vassago up once again, and punches him with a fierce left. He then locks on a headlock, but Vassago pushes QPublic into the ropes. QPublic bounces off the ropes, as he lets go of the headlock. QPublic tries to knock Vassago down with a shoulder-block, but it's to no avail. Vassago stands firm as QPublic is the one that gets knocked back. Vassago swings at QPublic, but QPublic ducks. QPublic hits the now-turned-around Vassago in the back with a big dropkick! Vassago goes forward, bouncing into the corner, and hitting so hard he walks back out. QPublic then locks him up in a dragon suplex, and slams him back hard!
Styles: Damn, what a dragon suplex!
Pettengill: Oh my, what a maneuver that was! I cant believe my eyes, what a maneuver.
Styles: Who are you, Vince McMahon?
Pettengill: Vince is here, on TV? WHAT A RAW!
Soprano: Hey, shaddup, I'm trying to make a phone call.
Styles: Who are you calling?
Soprano: Dr. Melfi. What the hell, who do you think I'm calling, I'm calling Papa Johns!
Styles: Pizza? During...the show?
Soprano: A mang has got to eat, eh?
Styles: Yeah, you eat you fat piece of...
Soprano: {breathing heavily} Wud was dat?
Styles: Eh, nothing.
QPublic makes another cover on Vassago, in the meantime:
1...
2...
Kickout by Vassago.
Johnny Q Public, obviously frustrated at this point, kicks Vassago in the ribs, and picks him back up, dropping him back to the mat with a Double Arm DDT!
Soprano: Damn, thats gotta hoit!!
Styles: Shades of Tommy Dreamer, there!
What, you thought I was gonna say Mick Foley? Ha, you idiots.
QPublic climbs the turnbuckle, from the inside, climbing up and backwards. He positions himself on the top rope, gains his balance, and flies off with a senton bomb!
Pettengill: HAKUSH WITH THE INCREDIBLE INVERTED LEG DROP OFF THE TOP ROPE!
Styles: What the FUCK?
QPublic makes the cover!
1...
2...
Kickout by Vassago!
Vassago kicks out with such force, that QPublic is actually lifted into the air and tossed a few feet.
Styles: Daaaaaamn, what a kickout!
Sopranos: Gotta give some respect.
QPublic can't believe it at this point, he's given it to Vassago the whole time with no Vassago offense to this point. QPublic slaps on an armbar onto Vassago's left right arm. Vassago wiggles to the ropes however, only being in the hold for a few seconds. QPublic picks Vassago up by the same arm, and whips him into the ropes.
Upon the rebound, Johnny Q hits him with the samoan drop, and Vassago slams hard into the canvas.
QPublic gets right up and climbs to the outside, ascending the turnbuckle. He flies off with a corkscrew headbutt, landing in Vassago's shoulder/chest!
Styles: There it is, Public Air!!
Pettengill: Who farted?
Soprano: Public Air...who farted...HAHA, I GET IT!
Styles: Idiots...
QPublic makes yet ANOTHER cover on Vassago.
1...
2...
Kickout, by Vassago!
Styles: By god, he kicked out again!
Soprano: Ey yo, dis guy right here should be the head of the Soprano family. Screw Uncle Jr. This guy is the maing mang.
Styles: Nozione.
QPublic rolls to the outside, and grabs a steel chair, bringing a huge pop from the crowd with it.
Styles: YEAH!!
Soprano: No respect, no respect. He'll get himself Disqualified, the mammaluke.
Styles: It's ICW, BABY!!!
Pettengill: Do you guys like Ovaltine? My commercial looks like it should belong next to an Ovaltine commercial on the Jack LaLaine fitness show.
Styles: My god, the writer that comes up with this shit, is out of his mind.
Soprano: A fuckin' tragedy.
QPublic gets in the ring, and sets the chair up in the center. He picks Vassago up, who seems to be just trying to catch his breath, and begins to hit Vassago with a flurry of martial arts punches.
Soprano: Look at that lush, he's drunk!
Styles: No, he's using the drunken master technique, its Public Intoxication!
Pettengill: Where is Razor anyway?
Soprano: Razor Ramon...Scott Hall...Public Intoxication...HAHA, I GET IT!
Styles: I think this is one of the signs of the apocalypse.
QPublic does this, and then as Vassago is woozy, he whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a leg sweep, causing him to go head first into the chair!
Styles: OH MY OH WAIT, he blocked it!
Vassago blocks the chair with his hands! QPublic looks somewhat stunned, as Vassago gets to his feet!
Vassago tosses the chair at QPublic, QPublic catches it, Vassago swings at QPublic, QPublic ducks, Vassago turns around, QPublic throws the chair at Vassago, Vassago catches it, QPublic attempts a superkick at the chair, Vassago ducks, QPublic turns around, Vassago throws the chair at QPublic, he catches it, ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE CHAIR AND THE FACE OF QPUBLIC!!!
Styles: OH...MY...GOD!!! FACEBREAKER KICK!
Vassago, in one swift blow, has completely taken out QPublic. Vassago puts out his arms, and goes down on one knee as the crowd boos madly.
Styles: Vassago, in one swift blow, has completely taken out QPublic.
Duh.
Soprano: He'll be eating copacola through a STRAW!!!
Pettengill: It wasnt my fault...I mean that intern was willing! Vince...give me a second chance...PLEASE! I promise...no more interviews with Babysitters in the audience...well maybe a few.
Styles: WHAT?
Pettengill: Eh...look at Dean Douglas go!
Styles: WHAT THE HELL, DEAN DOUGLAS ISNT IN THIS MATCH, IT'S DIESEL, REMEMBER??? AH SHIT, NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!
Soprano: Haha, now you're crazy, Joey.
QPublic staggers to his feet, only to be kicked in the midsection, and taken down with the Stigmata! QPublic goes down hard!
Styles: What a crucifix powerbomb!
Vassago picks up QPublic, and kicks him in the side of the head, Tajiri-style, causing QPublic to spin around. Vassago locks him up in a reverse chancory/ddt hold and flips him back in a reverse/dragon suplex. He lifts him up vertical, and drops him down with a fierce DIAMOND CUTTER!
Styles: OH MY GOD!
Soprano: Now DATS a sign of The Apocalypse .
Vassago rolls QPublic over and lies on top of him-
1...
2...
3!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, Vassago Arcturus
"Driver Down" hits once again, as the bell sounds and Vassago gets up, raising his hands in victory!
QPublic is still laying out cold, as Vassago locks in the Crown Of Thorns !
Styles: Hey!!! COME ON, THATS ENOUGH!
Soprano: YEAH!!! Kill him!!!
Pettengill: Diesel is ruthless!
Vassago cranks back on the Crippler Crossface, as officials come to try to break him off QPublic, but the officials are useless, as Vassago refuses to relinquish the hold!
Suddenly, The Who's "Sparks" hits, and out runs/limps Healius!
Styles: It's Healius!!!!
Duh.
Healius slides into the ring, and picks up the steel chair from before. Vassago sees Healius and lets go of the Crown of Thorns. He stands up, only to be hit by a Healius chairshot to the skull!!!
Styles: Oh my GOD!!!!
Vassago stumbles around, and walks towards the ropes. Healius charges Vassago, and clotheslines him over the top rope, as the crowd goes nuts!
Styles: Vassago does a 360 over the top rope! Could this be shades of RPM?
Soprano: Ey, Healius saved QPublic from an injury, he aughta be thankful!
Healius helps QPublic to his feet, as Healius holds the weary QPublic's hand up, in recognition of his valiant effort against Vassago. The crowd cheers for the two in the ring, as we see Vassago up on the stage, with his hands on his hips. From behind the curtain comes Amalek, who taps Vassago on the shoulder as he stares a hole through the men in the ring. Vassago turns around as Amalek motions for him to come to the back. Vassago obliges, and the two leave the stage area.
Styles: What a match! Vassago came out of nowhere and in a matter of moments, just dominated the match!
Pettengill: Adam Bomb wins again!
Soprano: Ey, we'll be right back.
Styles: The TC title match is next, dont go awa-
Commercial Break:
Want to know a secret?
Well, good for you.
but, I do have this, for your entertainment:
DrDrELeiGh: and just who is DL Glaze
DaVE DuDLeY 632: lol
DrDrELeiGh: is it really your 1/2 b-day?
DaVE DuDLeY 632: yup
DaVE DuDLeY 632: well not anymore
DrDrELeiGh: well it was, yesterday
DaVE DuDLeY 632: si
DrDrELeiGh: that's awesome
DaVE DuDLeY 632: I'm 17 and a half, and it feels good
DrDrELeiGh: mine is June 8
DrDrELeiGh: my half b-day
DaVE DuDLeY 632: 6 more months
DrDrELeiGh: hehe
DaVE DuDLeY 632: And I'll be able to vote!
DrDrELeiGh: September 23, eh?
DaVE DuDLeY 632: october
DrDrELeiGh: DAMNIT
DaVE DuDLeY 632: lol
DrDrELeiGh: i was always bad in math
DaVE DuDLeY 632: LOL
DrDrELeiGh: cant count
DrDrELeiGh: fucking catholic schools teach you how to pray, but not how to add
Inferno fades back from commercial, and is focused in onScottie PP7, who is seated at his desk backstage. Directly at the front of thedesk, a nameplate which reads �Scottie PP7, Damnit� sits, and Miss Clee Taurusis also perched atop Scottie�s desk, her legs crossed, not leaving much to theimagination down south. Anyhow, Scottie sits at his desk, browsing over some�files�, and he notices the camera�s interruption of his quiet time.
Scottie PP7: Oh yeah, the next match, theTransContinental Triple Threat Match. It will be a little different than whateveryone is expecting. In fact, it will be an ICW Hardcore Rules match, meaningNo DQ, pinfalls count anywhere, no time limit, all that fun shit! I hope allthree of those useless jobbers beat the living hell out of each other. Now getthe hell out of my face, I�ve got papers to blankly stare at��..I mean, study.
With that, Scottie pushes the lens of the camera away fromhis line of sight, and as the camera is focused on Miss Clee Taurus for amoment, it then fades back out to ringside, to a shot of Joey Styles, TheToddster, and Mr. Tony Soprano.
Styles: Well fans, we�re back, and we are in factready for our explosive TransContinental Title Triple Threat Match!
Todd Pettengill: Yes we�re back at WWF Mania!, and wejust saw footage of Vince McMahon telling The Undertaker that he mus--��.
Styles: Does it get any dumber then this guy? I don�tthink so.
Mr. Soprano: Eh, whassamatta witchu, Sty-les?Pett-engill, he�s a little confused. Cut him some slack, eh? Show him somerospect!
Styles: Hey Mr. Soprano, you want to hear what Toddhad to say about Anthony Junior?
Mr. Soprano: WHAT? Are you trying to tell me thisDubbayoo Dubbayoo Eff reject was talkin� about MY son?!
Styles- Yeah, he was. Remember the time AJ was out bythe pool? Well, when Todd saw AJ take his shirt off, he had impure thoughtsabout your own son!
Mr. Soprano- WHAT?! What are you Petten-gill, somekind a�.some kind a pedophile? Huh? You better look ova ya shoulda now, yousonuvabitch!
Pettengill: Now hold on a minute there Jim Cornett,there is no way I would ever say anything about your son!
Mr. Soprano- Jim Cornett, eh? DOES IT LOOK LIKE IHAVE A TENNIS RACKET?! DOES IT, HUH?!
Styles- Tony, Tony, take it easy. He�s not showingyou no respect, but it�s no reason to get all worked up. Don�t you have pillsfor that?
Mr. Soprano- Hey come on, we�re all just hea to havea good time, let�s just settle down and show these next wrestlas some respect,eh?
Styles- Right, well this is going to be a HardcoreRules match, and it will be for the ICW TC Title!
Mystikal�s �Danger� begins to play over the PA, and littleto no reaction leads Johnny Blayze out into the Arco Arena. Blayze doesn�t looklike his normal self, as his gut is protruding almost totally out of his shirt.Blayze looks around for a few moments at the fans, and then continues to waddledown the ramp, and roll into the ring.
Styles: Looks like Johnny Blayze had a year-lastingcase of the munchies, and never decided to try and work any of that extra fatoff! It�s what happens when you disappear from ICW programming�.well, since westarted to have programming again!
Pettengill: Well here he is ladies and gentleman,Aldo Montoya, the Portuguese Man of War!
Soprano- Aldo Monwhoya? He sound-sa like a guy I didsome business with recently��say, I never did get that check from him�..
Styles- Who, Johnny Blayze or Aldo Montoya?
Soprano- What? Who? You�ve gone and confused me Jo-eyWalnuts.
Styles- Uh, I�m Joey Styles, but I did hearPettengill say something about wanting to rub AJ�s walnuts, don�t know what hemeant by that.
Soprano- WHAT?! WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT MY SON?! MY OWNSON?!?! OHHHH BUDDY, YOU BETTER WATCH YA BACK FROM NOW ON, LET ME TELL YOUTHAT!
Pettengill: Look, Mr. Monsoon, I�d just like toconcentrate on this match, okay?
As Johnny Blayze waddles around in the ring, �Beyond Within�hits on the PA, and another disinterested reaction leads Nexus down into thering. Just like Johnny Blayze, Nexus seems to be a bit over what his reportedweight is, somewhat of a spare tire developing around his waist. Nexus looksthroughout the unexcited crowd, and begins to strut down the entrance ramp, asJohnny Blayze looks back down at the artist known as Darren Mobius.
Styles- This seems to be another case of littlepreparation for a big match. I mean, at least try and wash underneath that rollof fat before you have to wrestle, for God�s sake!
Pettengill- I honestly think Vader has a great chanceto pick up the win in this match. I mean, to take on both Smoking Guns is noeasy ta--�..
Styles- Enough of this shit. Tony, do you have a gunwith you?
Soprano- Wha? Whassamatta witchu? Ey youse needs megun for?�..Ey what I means is, no, no I dun have no guns!
Styles- I would like to kill the guy making passes atyour son. Do you mind?
Soprano- We can talk after the show, ey? Ey, maybethen we, we figures sometin out about this sick, kid toucher!
Nexus slides into the ring, and stands across from JohnnyBlayze, and the two stare down a bit, with neither of them breaking their focuson the match at hand. As they stand toe-to-toe, �Welcome To The Jungle� hits upon the PA, and some more heat greets Jay Swift, as he rushes out into the ArcoArena. He seems to enjoy the crowds boos, as he rushes down towards the ring!
Styles- So it looks like Swift wants to take it toboth his opponents right off the bat! He�s wasting no time in rushing down tothe ring!
Pettengill- Well Sha--�.
Styles- Shut up. Okay?
Pettengill- No, I was goi--�..
Soprano- Ey, this Jo-ey, he seems prettyserious to meh, ey? I wouldn�t mess wit him, if I wassyou.
Swift runs into the ring, as Nexus and Blayze start to mildly brawl in the ring, throwing wild punches at each other. Swift looks at the two for a moment, and then hops over the top rope.
Styles: Look at the two in the ring, it's almost comical!
Soprano: ey, whats Swift doin out dere?
Jay Swift is looking under the ring apron. He pulls out two tables, and slides one into the ring, and the other he leaves on the outside, but he sets it up. Then he pulls out a Singapore cane, and a steel chair. Swift slides both into the ring, and slides back in himself. The fat Nexus and Blayze are brawling very gay-ish inside the ring. Swift picks up the singapore cane, and canes Nexus right in his fat head! Blayze soon suffers the same fate, but it takes TWO cane shots to put him down.
Styles: Oh my god!!
Swift goes to work on Nexus, in the back with the Singapore Cane. Blayze gets back up, and he gets a SUPERKICK RIGHT TO THE GROIN!!!
Styles: Dick Twister, Dick Twister!
Soprano: You know, that paisan Mr. David Dudley invented that move.
Pettengill: I thought Pat Patterson invented the dick twister.
Styles and Soprano:....
Pettengill: Damn, I figured one of you would get that obscure reference. If anyone gets that reference, email DaveDudley632@AOL.com, and tell him what I'm talking about.
Styles: He said something that made sense!
Pettengill: And now back to some great WWF action here on the ACTION ZONE!
Styles: Bah.
Blayze grabs his groin area in pain, as Swift cracks him over the head with the cane. A big tear in Blayze's forehead rips open.
Styles: OHHH, DISGUSTING!!!
Soprano: Wait, ders no blood! But he whacked him, he whacked him good!
Swift notices the same thing, and begins to investigate. He grabs Blayze's face...and RIPS IT OFF!!!
Styles: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!
Soprano: No no, look! It's a latex mask, just like I thunked!
Swift holds up the mask, wig and all, and looks at it. The camera pans over to reveal none other then MASTA SEXAY!!!!
Styles: It's Masta Sexay, It's Masta Sexay! What the hell?
Swift canes Sexay, this time busting him open, and drawing blood. Swift throws down the cane and picks up the chair. He walks over to where Nexus is, and as Nexus tries to get up and fight back, he gets crushed in the skull by the chair.
Swift drops the chair, and picks Nexus up. He hooks him up, and PLANTS him with a DDT on the chair. He goes to make the cover:
1...
2...
Swift breaks the cover up!
Styles: What now???
He notices a cut in Nexus' face! HE RIPS HIS FACE OFF!!!!
Styles: SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!
Pettengill: HOLY JUMPIN WHEATCAKES!
Soprano: No no, look, it's a latex mask, just as I thunked!
Styles: Wow, talk about Deja Vu.
As Swift holds the mask in his hand again, the camera pans over to reveal.... THE GAME!!!
Styles: What the hell?
Soprano: Whatsa matta with dem?
Swift rolls The Game to the outside, and places him on the table that was set up earlier. Swift then re-enters the ring, and sets up the other table in the corner.
Soprano: No wonder dey were fat, The Game and Masta Sexay havent been booked in Munths.
Swift picks up Masta Sexay, and takes him to the corner with the table. He hooks him up, climbs the turnbuckle, and hits him with a tornado DDT, THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Styles: AND SO IT WAS WRITTEN!!
Swift gets up, and runs towards the ropes, flying off with a corkscrew moonsault over the top rope, THROUGH THE TABLE, ONTO THE GAME!!!
Styles: Oh...my...GOD, He hit Purple Rain!
Soprano:....SHIT.
Pettengill: Lalalalala
Swift makes the cover right there on the outside, amist all the wreckage of the table!
1...
2...
3!!!!!!!
Winner, and NEW TransContinental Champion, Jay Swift
Jay Swift rolls back into the ring and grabs his belt. Swift then flips off the crowd, grabs the back of his head with one hand, and holding the belt with the other, exits the ring and heads back to the locker room as the crowd gives off a mixed reaction.
Styles: Jay Swift, the NEW TC Champion!
Soprano: But wud was the deal with The Game and Masta Sexay going incognito?
Styles: Well, I'm hearing that Johnny Blayze and Nexus were on the same flight, and it was delayed!
Soprano: Eh? Wud is dis, the WWF?
Pettengill: Did you say WWF?
Styles: I guess The Game and Masta Sexay were lurking around the back, and decided to take the opportunity to try to gain some TC gold! But it backfired!!!
Soprano: Anudder fuckin' tragedy.
Styles: We'll be right back!!!
Commercial Break:
Ever stayed up late writing a show? Well I have, so fuck you.
OOC: Well, the Main event is almost done. But thanks to Andrew Leigh being very Geigh, I'm not going to stay up to finish it, because I'm gonna pass out on the keyboard. So, it will be up when I wake up tomorrow. Think of it as...punishment, Andrew. Heh.
Andrew Leigh
Y2AWESOME
Posts: 22
(3/24/01 1:01:11 pm)
OOC
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I deserved the whole "Geigh" comment. It was my fault that the main event wasn't there. I put off writing the match I was supposed to until 2 AM, and when I got about 3 pages done, I began to not be able to focus.
Sort of that "Losing Consciousness After Being Out For A Few Hours" syndrome. Sorry about that.
Dave Dudley
YOUR Hardcore Icon
Posts: 12
(3/24/01 4:07:07 pm)
Main Event
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to live tv
Styles: Well folks, here it is, the main event of the evening, Reno Starr vs. Andrew Leigh, to determine the 4th and final competitor in the 4-way World Title match at RolePlayMania II!
A Papa John's delivery man comes to the announce booth
Styles: What the-
Soprano: Relax, Joey S., it's just my pissa.
Delivery Dude: It'll be $9.99.
Soprano: Damn...all I have is $1,000. Got any change?
Delivery Dude: Uh...yeah...its in the delivery van...
Soprano: Ok, here you go then!
The Delivery Dude runs off screaming "I GOT A THOUSAND BUCKS!!!"
Soprano: What a good kid.
Styles: Uh...I dont think he's coming back.
Soprano: Oh well, at least we gots some pissa.
Pettengill: You remember those Pizza Hut commercials from 1994?
Styles: No, but I'm sure you do.
Pettengill: Heh, yeah. Wait a sec...
Soprano opens the pizza box
Styles: Hey Tony...um...that pizza wouldnt have any...pepperoni...or sausage...by any chance, would it?
Soprano: Yeah, why- ...oh shit.
Soprano keels over, face first in the pizza!
Styles: Damnit, he had one of his panic attacks!!
If you dont know what I'm talking about, I pity the fool. Watch the sopranos, you cretin.
Styles: Todd, go to the back and escort him to the hospital!
Pettengill: But-but
Styles: JUST DO IT!!!
The Toddster gets up as the EMTs arrive, and they all escort Tony to the back.
Styles: Dont worry folks, Mr. Soprano will be fine. But...but...FINALLY, I'M RID OF THOSE TWO GOONS! HAHAHAHA!
Styles lies back in his chair, and kicks his feet up on the table
Styles: God Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
STP's "Lounge Fly" its the PA, as "The Jaded Efed Icon" Andrew Leigh makes his way out to a mixed reaction from this very opinionated Sacremento crowd.
Leigh takes his time walking down the ramp, as he stops to argue with a few fans, and takes time to take a fan's sign that says "HOWDY FOLKS" and shows it to the camera. Leigh smiles, and gives the sign back, as he now walks around the ring and up the ring steps, casually entering the ring. He spins around with his arms out a-la Hardcore Holly, as the fans give a 50/50 reaction.
Styles: This rules, no other announcers out here. Reminds me of old-school ECW.
Noise of a zipper unzipping is heard
Styles: Hear that? That's me taking off my pants. Who needs pants? DOWN WITH PANTS.
"We Are The Champions" by Queen hits, signalling the arrival of "The Starr of the Show", Reno Starr, along with his "sidekick", Andy Rocker.
Styles: Ah. It's my favorite wrestler. Reno Starr. Ahem. I hate this guy, he's so cocky it makes me sick. But, on the other hand, he's one hell of an athlete. And...I cant believe it, but I'm being payed to say this... "The Greatest, Sexiest, Most Talented Actor In Hollywood." Yeah, from what I've heard, he's an actor in ICW, too.
Reno Starr and Andy Rocker both walk the ring very profilish. We see Starr's "Box Office Title" over his shoulder.
Styles: There you see Starr's BOF belt. Errr, that is to say, BOT belt.
Andy Rocker slides into the ring, before Starr makes it into the ring, and he walks over to the other side of the ring, and grabs a mic:
Andy Rocker: Hey, hey you, Y2Geigh. Yeah, you. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you have the power to beat us? We're from Hollywood, California, we have the brains. You, dont have the brains. WERE THE BRAINS. YOU NOT THE BRAINS TILL I SAY YOU THE BRAINS, YOU FILTHY MEXICAN. I remember you were in the Southern Gentlemen. What a hick. I bet you're from Alabama, arent you? Hyuck I'm Andrew Lay, from Alllabama.
Leigh swipes the mic from Rocker
Andrew Leigh: Would you please, do me, and everyone here a favor, and SHUT...THE HELL...UP!
The crowd cheers as Rocker gets startled by the crowd's electricity.
Andrew Leigh: Now you tell your Goldust wanna-be to get in the ring so I can kick his ass! And when I'm done kicking his ass, I'm gonna kick your-
Andrew Leigh cannot finish his sentence, as Reno Starr jumps him from behind, hitting him with the Box Office Title.
Styles: Ohhh, what a coward! Using the belt from behind, BEFORE the bell rings, is Reno Starr, as the bell now rings.
Andrew Leigh goes down as Starr tosses the B.O.T. to Rocker. Starr proceeds to kick Leigh as he is down, and then he poses to the crowd.
The crowd boos and starts up an
"ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE" chant.
Starr waves off the crowd, as if to say he doesnt need them, and he picks Leigh up. Snapmare to Leigh! Leigh is now on his posterior, as Starr locks on a reverse chin-lock!
Styles: Starr obviously has the early advantage, here. Although he cheated, to do so!
Referee Earl Hebner asks Leigh if he wants to quit, Leigh shakes his head no each time. Meanwhile, Rocker gets on the apron behind the ref's back, and un-does the turnbuckle pad.
Styles: What the-?
Rocker hops off the apron, and tells Hebner about the loose turnbuckle. Hebner, being the idiot he is, goes to fix it. Starr lays Leigh over the bottom rope, and Rocker guillotines Leigh over the bottom rope with a Coochie Cutter!
Styles: WHAT A DIRTY, ROTTEN CHEATER!
Rocker celebrates on the outside as Starr poses in the ring, behind Leigh. Leigh gets to his feet and does a back mule kick to Starr's groin! And the whole time Hebner is still fussing with the turnbuckle.
Styles: YEAH, WHAT A TECHNICAL MOVE BY THE TECHNICIAN, LEIGH!
Doesnt it sound like Joey is a little bias?
Leigh gets up, and unleashes a flurry of punches on Starr. Starr tries to counter back with a punch of his own, but Leigh ducks, jabbing Starr in the ribs with a right fist.
Leigh winds Reno up in an armbar, and pulls him close to himself, attempting a short-arm clothesline. Starr ducks, and catches Leigh in a neckbreaker!
Styles: Oh damn, what a neckbreaker! Some would say it was X-Rated!
Hebner is still fussing with the turnbuckle, as Rocker yells at him, to notice Starr making the cover-
1...
2...
Kickout, by Leigh!
Starr picks Leigh up and whips him into the ropes. Starr attempts a backdrop, but as Starr's head is down, Leigh stops, and kicks him right in the chin! Starr gets rocked back towards the ropes and Leigh clotheslines him over the top rope, out in front of the announce table!
Styles: They're right out here in front of us!! Erm...I mean, me. Mwahahahha.
Leigh slingshots over the top rope onto Starr, as they both go crashing to the floor. Rocker runs over to the time keeper and picks up his steel chair. Leigh gets up only to meet Rocker wielding the chair!!
Rocker throws the chair, but Leigh ducks, and hits referee Earl Hebner, who is leaning over the top rope yelling at the combantants, in the head!!!
Hebner bounces back into the middle of the ring, out cold.
Styles: Oh my god!!!
Leigh dropkicks Rocker, and sends him back into the guard rail. Meanwhile, Starr hits Leigh with a low blow, and as Leigh is keeled over, crushes him in the back with the steel chair.
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
Starr throws down the steel chair, and enters the ring. He walks over to Hebner, and tries to revive him. Hebner is out cold, and Starr puts his hands out to the crowd, as to say "Oh well".
Starr locks up Hebner and puts him in the RENO RECLINER!!!
Styles: What the hell is he doing???
Starr smiles and laughs as he cranks on the Steiner Recliner on Earl Hebner. Meanwhile, Leigh, who has gotten to his feet, picks up the steel chair on the outside. Rocker rushes over to stop him , but he gets hit with a chairshot to the head!
Leigh then slides into the ring with the chair, and hits Starr,who still has the Reno Recliner on Hebner, in the back of the skull! Reno goes down, breaking the hold on Hebner.
Styles: OH MY GOD!!! LEIGH IS RUTHLESS!
Leigh throws down the chair, and puts his hands on his waist, as the crowd cheers. Leigh looks around to the crowd, as he starts to pull up Starr. He locks Starr up in a double-underhook position, and hits him with EVOLVING THE LIGHT!!!
Styles: EVOLVING THE LIGHT, THATS IT!!!
The crowd chants
Y-2-A
Y-2-A
Y-2-A
Leigh puts his arms out a-la Raven, or Jericho and screams to the crowd, as they pop heavily.
Styles: It would be over right now, but there's no ref!!
Andrew Leigh just paces around the ring, as Starr starts to get to his feet. Leigh turns around and sees Starr getting up. Andy Rocker gets to his feet, and climbs up to the apron. He slaps Leigh in the back of the head, and as Leigh turns around to hit Rocker, Rocker jumps off the apron. Leigh turns back around, to get ready to charge at Starr, as Rocker climbs back up on the apron. Rocker reaches in his pants, and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles! He hits Leigh right in-between the shoulder blades, and Leigh steps foward, writhing in pain. Starr gets up, and goes to the outside, standing on the ramp. Leigh falls to one knee, as he holds his back. Starr grabs ahold of the top rope, and springboards over, catching Leigh in a FAMEASSER!
Styles: HO-LY shit! He just caught Leigh in the FINAL CUT!
Leigh hits face first, hard, as Starr rolls him over, and attempts a pinfall...but once again, there is no referee.
Starr motions for Andy to get into the ring. Starr and Rocker both wait for Leigh to get up, and as he gets up, Leigh turns around into a DOUBLE-SUPER KICK!
Styles: DEEP IMPACT! These guys are the REAL Impact Playaz!
Leigh goes down, once again. Starr motions for Rocker to get the chair, as Starr places Leigh in the corner. Rocker places the chair in front of Leigh's face, as the crowd pops, in anticipation for what is about to happen.
Styles: Oh my god!!! They're going for the Falling Starr!!!
Reno gets on the outside apron, on the other side of the ring.
Reno places his hands on the top rope, getting ready for another springboard. He springs onto the top rope, and stands there for a second, measuring Leigh up! Reno flies off with a sitdown dropkick, and just before Reno hits the chair, Leigh slides out of the way, causing Reno's lower extremities to crash into the chair, and causing Reno to knock Rocker back to the Spanish announce table. Rocker flips over the table and lands in the lap of those damn dirty Mexicans, as they start to pummel the outspoken Rocker for his earlier words against Mexicans.
Styles: Leigh moved out of the way! Hey...that rhymed.
As Reno rolls around, grabbing his knees and ankles, Leigh gets up, and locks on a REVERSE STF on Starr!
Styles: Thats it, it's THE REALMS OF PAIN from Leigh!
Reno immediately taps out, but there is no ref to see it! Reno keeps tapping, as he moans in pain. Earl Hebner starts to come to, as he gets up and sees Reno tapping! He calls for the bell!
Winner, and going on to RolePlayMania, to face Healius, Vassago, and Amalek in ICW world title 4-way match, Andrew Leigh
Leigh lets go of The Realms Of Pain as the fans go nuts!
Styles: YEAH, THE KID DID IT, HE'S GOING TO RPM!!
Leigh raises his arms in victory, and flips over the top rope, exiting the ring like Kane would. Leigh walks up the ramp as "Lounge Fly" hits once again. Leigh raises his arms up while walking up the ramp backwards, and he points at Starr and mutters some sort of obscenties, which the camera cant really pick up. Leigh heads to the back as we see Reno hobbling to his knees, completely disgusted. Meanwhile, Rocker is trying to fight off Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich(?)
Styles: What a night! The main event for RPM is set, and we have a new TC champ! Oh my, Reno Starr is furious! And we're out of time, ladies and gentlemen! For Todd Pettengill, and Tony Soprano, this is Joey Styles, and as Tony would say, ANUDDER FUCKIN' TRAGEDY! Good night, folks!
End Transmission
The limo glimmers as the light shines off the shiny smooth paintjob. The limo stops, as the cameraman walks from the front of the limo to the side, where we see the door.
Joey Styles: Now, who could be in that limo?
Todd Pettengill: Perhaps it's NYPD Blue star John Turturro!!!
Joey Styles: What the?
The limo door opens, as we see Mrs. Clee Tarus step out, and adjust her fur coat. Behind her, steps out ScottiePP7, as he adjusts his tie, and dusts off his suit. He looks at Clee Tarus, and takes her by the arm, and walks off camera range...
Joey Styles: The boss is here!! Tonight!! OH MY GOD!!!
The ICW Thursday Inferno opening plays, as we see all the neat computer graphics and whatnot. Also shots of great ICW moments in the ring.
"Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails plays as the opening rolls, and then cuts to LOTS of flaming "Inferno" pyro coming up from the stage.
The camera cuts to a shot of this sold-out Arco Arena on a warm, Spring evening. We see the crowd jam-packed to the rafters, and we see such signs as:
"ICW: IT'S AWESOME, BABY!"
"THE USE OF SIGNS IN OPENERS IS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT, OVERRATED. IF YOU THINK IT IS, THEN YOU MY FRIEND ARE A FOOL, AND WILL BE SHOT."
"BRING BACK ICYCHILLER!!!!!"
"NO DONT LISTEN TO THAT GUY, HE'S STUPID."
"NO, THAT GUY IS ICYCHILLER!"
"AMALEK FEARS DUDLEY"
"DUDLEY FEARS NO ONE"
"EXCEPT LMO'S MOM"
The camera fixes itself on the announce table:
Joey Styles: Hello everyone, I am Joey Styles, and welcome to Insane Championship Wrestling, on your HOME, for Insane Championship Wrestling, The great station of-
Tony Soprano: Anudder fuckin' tragedy. No one cares about the station, Joey S. All dey care about is some great ICW action and me, the real godfather in wrestling, Ton-ny Soprano.
Todd Pettengill: And I am "THE TODDSTER" The one and only MASTER of the Strategy tip,Todd Pettengill, and I must say, it will be an awesome night here tonight on the WWF Action Zone!!!
Styles: Uh...I think Biker would be better, then this guy.
Soprano: Ey, didnt we see da boss a little while ago?
Pettengill: Vince McMahon, on TV? OUTRAGEOUS!
Styles: Well ScottiePP7 is here tonight, but we don't know what his intent-
"The Bond Theme" by Moby hits, and ScottiePP7 comes out with Mrs.Clee Tarus to a chorus of boos from the fans.
Soprano: Ey, dese here fans dont have no respect for the main mang, man.
Styles: Uh...what?
PP7 and Clee Tarus enter the ring, as Scottie poses for the fans as Clee Tarus walks over to ring announcer Howard Finkel and grabs the mic, handing it to Scottie.
ScottiePP7: Hello SACREMENTO!!!
The crowd boos...but in a happy way, because hey, they are Sacremento.
ScottiePP7: I'm glad to see you all here tonight! This marks ICW's first week back in business! Give ICW a round of applause!
The fans applause, but only because they love ICW, as do all of you.
ScottiePP7: And you know...I've been checking out the news lately. And as I'm sure most of you know...the WWF has bought the WCW.
Styles: ABOUT DAMN TIME!
ScottiePP7: Yes, yes I know all of you are excited about it. Now, in a related story...I plan on buying out the EWA. You know the people who tried to merge with us back in the day?
The crowd boos...Sacremento is ICW country, as is the rest of the Continental US
ScottiePP7: I thought you'd all like this?
The crowd boos even more heavily
Styles: The crowd is right, who would want that piece of shit?
ScottiePP7: Ah well, screw it. I'll save my money for other things. Besides, I already own half of it, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The crowd cheers
ScottiePP7: Now the real reason I'm here tonight, is to discuss a few things. Mostly, the tag team title. Now I know you all know that there are no tag team champions here in ICW. Well, that will change because next week, we WILL crown new tag team champions!!
the crowd pops massively
Styles: Yes! ICW has always had rich tag team history, looks like its going to continue.
Soprano: Ha, what ICW you been watchin?
Pettengill: The Godwins win the tag team titles!!!
Styles: Jesus, shut up.
ScottiePP7: The ICW roster shall be involved in INSANE RUMBLE 3!!! The final two men remaining in the match shall be crowned the new ICW World Tag Team champions!
the crowd pops...then realizes how much PP7 sucks, and they start an
"ASSHOLE,
ASSHOLE
ASSHOLE" chant.
Styles: Whoa! Insane Rumble 3 for the tag titles!
ScottiePP7: Now keep in mind, that's just the preliminary name for the event...but either way, the tag title scene will be settled, next week, on either a special edition of Monday Mayhem, Wednesday Wreck, or Thursday Inferno. Stay tuned to ICW programming for updates. I KNOW you're all excited about this. Why you ask? Well, because its ICW. And...
Crowd chants
"SCOTT-IE SUCKS
SCOTT-IE SUCKS
SCOTT-IE SUCKS"
ScottiePP7: I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!!!!!!
"The Bond Theme" hits once again as ScottiePP7 and Mrs. Clee Tarus leave the ring, as the crowd gives a mixed reaction.
Soprano: Daaaaamn, da shit has hit da proverbial fan.
Styles: What a big announcement, as I'm hearing we have some comments now from The One True Warrior, whos in the back with the one, the only, Atlanta Braves superstar, John Rocker!
Soprano: No relation, to Andy Rocker, who is one fine paisan.
Pettengill: The Rockers broke up!!! I cant believe it!
Styles: Damnit, you werent even IN the WWF when that happened.
Camera cuts to back, where John Rocker is in the back with The One True Warrior. Rocker has on a "Nuke the Goukes" t-shirt.
Disclaimer: ICW doesnt harbor any harsh tendencies towards any race, or group of people. All comments are courtesy of John Rocker, and DL Glaze. Not that DL Glaze feels this way. Unless you are Indian.
John Rocker: I'm here with The One True Warrior, and Warrior, how do you feel about the words from that red-haired bastard Havok?
T.O.T.W.: Havok has been a thorn in my side since i was "The Vindicator".. He''s nothing but a second rate wrestler who happen to get lucky afew times!
T.O.T.W. turns towards the camera
T.O.T.W.: His challenge is as weak and sad as he is..
John Rocker: Second rate, just like those damn Mexicans. And speaking of that challenge, what do you have to say about it, to that potato-eating piece of shit?
T.O.T.W.: I will accept this Warrior's Den Match at I.C.W.'s next PPV RolePlayMania II !! When i will show the whole fucking world that The One True Warrior still has the stuff after all these years!
John Rocker: Yes, and all those mexican wetbacks will tremble before your feet, because they are mexican, and...we're not. Any closing words for that drunken fool, Havok?
T.O.T.W.: Havok is just like Mexicans.. they are both wet backs!!! Havok .. Son your time in the spotlight is comming to an end! RoleplayMania is where legends live and you are from from that!! The One True Warrior may not be fighting for that trinket of gold but i will be there to kick some "Irish" ass and son that ass belongs to you!!
John Rocker: Strong words from the NON-MEXICAN T.O.T.W. Back to you, Joey.
Camera cuts back to announce table, where Todd Pettengill is drawing, Tony Soprano is laughing, and Joey Styles' mouth is hanging open
Joey Styles: Oh my god...If that doesnt get us cancelled...I dont know what will.
Tony Soprano: Oh man, that was great.
Todd Pettengill: {Holding up picture} Look, its SCOOP SULLIVAN, SQUARED CIRCLE SUPERSTAR!!
Styles: Commercial, NOW, NOW!!!
Commercial Break
RPHagan: Hey....sorry for not roleplaying
RPHagan: I'll try and cook something up soon
DaVE DuDLeY 632: lol, kool
RPHagan: Amalek needs to too!
DaVE DuDLeY 632: YES, HE DOES
DaVE DuDLeY 632: OH MY GOD
DaVE DuDLeY 632: ILL KILL HIM
RPHagan: lol
Back to live action
Styles: Wrestling fans, it's time for the 3rd and Final Beast, Amalek, to go one on one with the Semi-Heel with the sex appeal, the REAL DEAL...Clark Steele.
Tony Soprano: Fuck shit cocksucker.
Styles: Amen to that!
"Everything Sucks" hits, and the crowd gives HUGE heat as Amalek makes his way out, accompanied as usual by the lovely Cleo.
Joey Styles: Last Monday on Mayhem, Amalek advanced to the four-way at RPM2 by defeating three other men in his qualifying match; obviously he's picking up right where he left off in the Old ICW!
Todd Pettengill: The Undertaker, the most destructive force in wrestling history!
Tony Soprano: I'sa gotta cousin whose a' undataka. Ya know, buries people whosa got whacked.
Amalek enters the ring via the steps, then takes a mic from the ring announcer.
Amalek: SteEle...fIrsT I bEat yOUr aSs in ICW...thEn I cARriED yOuR aSS in EWA...nOw the cYcLe haS to rePeat...LMao...sO whEn yoU sTeP inTo the rInG, I'm gOinG to FRANCHISE yOuR paTHeTiC baG oF sKin...aNd afTer tHat, I'lL gO oN to RPMaNiA, aNd taKe baCK mY beLT, reGardLeSs of whAt thAt puSSywhIpped piEce oF shIt hEalius sAys...
Tony Soprano: Damn, that was hard to read.
Todd Pettengill: He's demonic! Like a Power Ranger!
Joey Styles: Jesus, now he can't even get his own lines right.
"Man in the Box" hits, drawing a mixed reaction for Clark Steele. Steele sprints down to the ramp, and slides in.
Todd Pettengill: Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Hell in a Cell! Here we go!
Amalek immediately delivers a kick to Steele's midsection, and then clubs the back of his neck with a forearm. He fires him into the ropes, and delivers a quick back elbow. Amalek hooks Steele up for a suplex, and lands it.
Joey Styles: Snap suplex from Amalek!
Tony Soprano: Snap, like a leg bustin, eh?
Amalek whips Steele into the corner, and follows it up with a huge body splash! As Steele slumps in the corner, he looks out into the crowd...and then begins stomping mercilessly at Steele, to the crowd's disapproval.
Tony Soprano: Ey, ey, whasssa matta wid dem? Da man is juss doin' his job!
Joey Styles: Come on, Mr. Soprano, there's no need for cheap shots!
Tony Soprano: Ey, is dat disrospect I hear?
Joey Styles: Ummm, no sir.
Tony Soprano: Das what I like to hear.
Back in the ring, Amalek has pulled Steele up and whipped him into the ropes...powerslam! Amalek hooks the leg, 1...
2...
Steele gets his shoulder up!
Joey Styles: Amalek almost ended it early!
Tony Soprano: End early, das wha' we do to people when we WHACK em.
Joey Styles: Can you go a sentence without talking about the mob?
Tony Soprano: More disrospect, Joey, me and youse are gonna have to settle dis like adults if da disrospect continues. 'Sides, I don'tsa know nuddin about no mob.
Amalek ascends the top rope, and leaps off looking for Atonement, but Steele moves out of the way, and Amalek hits the mat hard!
Joey Styles: OUCH, Amalek caught nothing but mat!
Todd Pettengill: Now's the Heartbreak Kid's chance for a comeback!
Amalek and Steele both slowly rise to their feet. Amalek looks for a right, but Steele ducks under and slides behind Amalek, hooks him up, and hits a back suplex. Steele hits the ropes, and as Amalek rises to his feet, he hits him with a spin kick, sending Amalek toppling over the ropes and out of the ring! Amalek slowly gets his wits about him and stands up...but Steele comes flying over the ropes with a cross body, laying out Amalek again!
Joey Styles: OH MY GAWD, Steele just wrecked Amalek!
Todd Pettengill: The Undertaker is down! The Undertaker is down! This is unbelievable!
Joey Styles: Thanks for ruining a great move.
Tony Soprano: ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
Joey Styles: Ummmm, no.
Tony Soprano: Das what I thought.
As Amalek begins to pull himself up, Steele crouches a bit in the pre-spear position! He charges at Amalek...ONLY TO BE CAUGHT WITH A RING BELL TO THE FACE FROM THE FR
Tony Soprano: He got whacked!
Todd Pettengill: That's ether! HBK doesn't stand a chance!
Tony Soprano: Whosa dis aych bee kay?
Amalek lifts Steele up and slides his limp body into the ring. He then pulls him up again, signals to the crowd, and locks in The Heretic!
Todd Pettengill: The chickenwing! The chickenwing! The crossface chickenwing on Bret by Bob Backlund!
However, before the move can do much damage, Steele shoots his right leg upwards into Amalek's groin!
Tony Soprano: NOW DAS SOME HIGH-LEVEL DISROSPECT.
Joey Styles: Indeed!
Tony Soprano: Eh?
Steele once again waits patiently for Amalek to regain his footing. As Amalek gets back to his feet, he delivers a devastating superkick, the Steele Spike!
Todd Pettengill: SWEET CHIN MUSIC!
Joey Styles: STEELE SPIKE
Tony Soprano: HE KICKED HIM RIGHT IN DA FACE!
Steele quickly pulls Amalek up, and applies a side headlock, he runs toward the corner, looking for the Steele Plummet, but Amalek pushes him off and into the ropes. On the way back, Amalek hits him with a kick to the gut, he jacks him up, and delivers a crucifix powerbomb! He covers! 1...
2...
Steele ki
Todd Pettengill: HE KICKED OUT OF THE RAZOR'S EDGE! INCREDIBLE!
Joey Styles: For once, I've got to agree with you!
Amalek continues unwavered, firing Steele into the ropes with a whip...and catching him with a big boot on the way back! He looks out into the crowd, hits the ropes, and lands a huge leg drop across the throat of Steele!
Joey Styles: Shades of the Hulkster!
Todd Pettengill: Shhhhh! Vince won't be happy about that!
Tony Soprano: Eh, I'sa can take care of dis "Vince" for a certain price...
Amalek covers...1...
2...
Steele rolls his shoulder! Amalek, now frustrated, pulls Steele to his feet, and grabs him around the neck! He hoists him up...CHOKESLAM!
Todd Pettengill: Tombstone time!
Joey Styles: I guess he's worked his way back around...
Amalek pulls Steele up from the mat, and scoops him over his shoulder!
Todd Pettengill: Oh my God! Ric Flair slid the chair into the ring! This is going to kill the Hulkster!
Joey Styles: When the hell DID you work for the WWF?
Before Amalek can finish the move, Steele slides back down over Amalek's shoulder! Amalek turns around, to be met with a boot to the gut and a DDT! Steele covers! 1...
2...
Amalek powers out!
Joey Styles: Amalek almost lost it in a matter of seconds!
Todd Pettengill: DDT! He's bringing out Damien!
Steele looks for a whip on Amalek, but Amalek reverses, and catches Steele with a superkick!
Joey Styles: Looks like that offense by Steele was short lived...wait a second!
"Sparks" hits, big pop for Healius! He charges to the ring, chair in hand, and hops up to the apron! Amalek and he start jawing from considerable distance, and Amalek is unaware Steele is almost to his feet! Healius signals to Steele, who tries to push Amalek into a chairshot, but Amalek reverses it into a whip, sending Steele into Healius and both of their heads into the chair! Healius slumps to the floor and Steele staggers backwards...right into the Call of Azrael!
Tony Soprano: He whacked both of em!
Joey Styles: You're right, Steele can't hold out with this hold on!
Steele fights the cobra clutch for a few seconds, then quickly taps out! The ref calls for the bell, but Amalek doesn't break the hold!
Joey Styles: This move has killed in the past!
Amalek keeps the hold on...5 seconds...10 seconds...15 seconds...20 seconds...finally, he breaks the hold, and Steele's limp body falls to the mat. Amalek arrogantly exits the ring, and stops over Healius' body. He looks at the crowd with an arrogant smirk, and picks Healius up...CORKSCREW PILEDRIVER ON THE RAMP!
Joey Styles: OH...MY...GAWD!
Amalek gets up as we see Vassago Arcturus standing at the entrance curtain, smiling, in approval. Amalek walks past Vassago, as Vassago turns around and heads to the back as well.
Tony Soprano: I like da way dis guy does business. I should have some pasta wid him.
As the cameras show Healius and Steele laying out cold, on the ramp, and in the ring, respectively, the show goes to commercial.
Commercial Break:
Tired of the same old cereal?
Then try DUDLEY-O'S!!!
What are, Dudley-O's, exactly?
It's simple. Take every cereal you love...and mix them together, but add more love...and you have Dudley-O's.
A shot of the Dudley-O's factory is seen:
We see Dave Dudley making Dudley-O's.
He has boxes of Cheerios, then he has boxes of Fruit Loops, Coco Puffs, Urkel-O's, C-3PO's, Ninja Turtle Cereal, Lucky Charms, Honey bunches of oats, corn flakes, frosted flakes, corn pops, apple jacks, crispix, every other damn cereal, bags of sugar, cat piss, and broken glass, and he's putting them all into this huge vat, where boxes of Dudley-O's are being filled from.
Dave Dudley: Hey...what the hell? Get that camera out of here, OUT OF HERE!
Dave's hand covers up the camera, as a message shows on the screen:
"Dudley-O's...it's a bunch of shit...and all your favorite cereals too."
Back to live action:
Styles: Well, ladies and gents, it's time for Vassago vs. QPublic. If you'll remember, Vassago helped his... friend? Amalek out on Mayhem, by helping him eliminate the other matches in the RPM qualifying 4 way match. He costed QPublic a shot at the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.
Soprano: Fuck shit cocksucker piss douchebag fuck ass.
Styles: What?
Soprano: Fucking shit cuntrag shit piss.
Pettengill: Yup. It's been confirmed...Doink IS a clown.
Styles: EFWO is starting to look better then this...
"Lullaby" by Ghoti Hook plays, as Johnny Q Public comes out to a big pop from the crowd. QPublic sticks his arms out on the ramp Raven-Esque, as the crowd cheers even louder. QPublic walks down the ramp and slides into the ring, where he poses some more, and basks in the fan's glory.
"Driver Down" by Nine Inch Nails hits, as the crowd's excitement and admiration for QPublic quickly turns to almost silence, as the fans seem intimidated by Vassago Arcturus. Vassago walks out to the stage accompanied by Lilith, as Lilith proceeds to take his trenchcoat, as Vassago runs down the ramp, charging into the ring.
Styles: Looks like this one is gonna get underway right now!!
Soprano: MAMA-MIA!!!
Pettengill: Go get em, Diesel!
Vassago slides in, only to be beat on by QPublic, as he pounds on him with forearm clubs to the back. QPublic picks Vassago up, and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, QPublic drops Vassago with a swinging neckbreaker.
Styles: Damn, what a neckbreaker!
Soprano: FUCK ME!!!
Vassago sits up, much like the Undertaker, to the suprise of QPublic.
Pettengill: You cant stop the Undertaker!
Styles: Damnit, you already talked about the Undertaker!
Pettengill: Buy my scooter.
Soprano: Ey, go easy on the boy, Styles...he's had too much blow, methinks.
Styles: Why should I feel sorry for him? He's an idiot, it's not like you feel sorry for him!
Soprano: Fucking shit hits me right here.
QPublic dropkicks Vassago right in the face, as Vassago is still sitting up. Vassago drops down to the mat, as QPublic climbs to the outside, and stands on the apron. He grabs ahold of the ropes, and slingshots over with a guillotine legdrop!
He makes the cover on Vassago:
1...
KICKOUT BY VASSAGO!!
Styles: Oh...my...god, he kicked out after one!
Soprano: Whatsa matta with Johnny Q? He cant get the job done, he's not my kinda made man, if you know what I'm sayin. You know what I mean?
Styles: Yeah, I know.
Soprano: You smell what I'm steppin in?
Styles: Yeah, I smell it.
Pettengill: Yeah, smells like foot and ass.
Soprano: Hey, never disgrace me like that again, or I'll whack your mudder.
Styles: Show some respect!
QPublic pulls Vassago up once again, and punches him with a fierce left. He then locks on a headlock, but Vassago pushes QPublic into the ropes. QPublic bounces off the ropes, as he lets go of the headlock. QPublic tries to knock Vassago down with a shoulder-block, but it's to no avail. Vassago stands firm as QPublic is the one that gets knocked back. Vassago swings at QPublic, but QPublic ducks. QPublic hits the now-turned-around Vassago in the back with a big dropkick! Vassago goes forward, bouncing into the corner, and hitting so hard he walks back out. QPublic then locks him up in a dragon suplex, and slams him back hard!
Styles: Damn, what a dragon suplex!
Pettengill: Oh my, what a maneuver that was! I cant believe my eyes, what a maneuver.
Styles: Who are you, Vince McMahon?
Pettengill: Vince is here, on TV? WHAT A RAW!
Soprano: Hey, shaddup, I'm trying to make a phone call.
Styles: Who are you calling?
Soprano: Dr. Melfi. What the hell, who do you think I'm calling, I'm calling Papa Johns!
Styles: Pizza? During...the show?
Soprano: A mang has got to eat, eh?
Styles: Yeah, you eat you fat piece of...
Soprano: {breathing heavily} Wud was dat?
Styles: Eh, nothing.
QPublic makes another cover on Vassago, in the meantime:
1...
2...
Kickout by Vassago.
Johnny Q Public, obviously frustrated at this point, kicks Vassago in the ribs, and picks him back up, dropping him back to the mat with a Double Arm DDT!
Soprano: Damn, thats gotta hoit!!
Styles: Shades of Tommy Dreamer, there!
What, you thought I was gonna say Mick Foley? Ha, you idiots.
QPublic climbs the turnbuckle, from the inside, climbing up and backwards. He positions himself on the top rope, gains his balance, and flies off with a senton bomb!
Pettengill: HAKUSH WITH THE INCREDIBLE INVERTED LEG DROP OFF THE TOP ROPE!
Styles: What the FUCK?
QPublic makes the cover!
1...
2...
Kickout by Vassago!
Vassago kicks out with such force, that QPublic is actually lifted into the air and tossed a few feet.
Styles: Daaaaaamn, what a kickout!
Sopranos: Gotta give some respect.
QPublic can't believe it at this point, he's given it to Vassago the whole time with no Vassago offense to this point. QPublic slaps on an armbar onto Vassago's left right arm. Vassago wiggles to the ropes however, only being in the hold for a few seconds. QPublic picks Vassago up by the same arm, and whips him into the ropes.
Upon the rebound, Johnny Q hits him with the samoan drop, and Vassago slams hard into the canvas.
QPublic gets right up and climbs to the outside, ascending the turnbuckle. He flies off with a corkscrew headbutt, landing in Vassago's shoulder/chest!
Styles: There it is, Public Air!!
Pettengill: Who farted?
Soprano: Public Air...who farted...HAHA, I GET IT!
Styles: Idiots...
QPublic makes yet ANOTHER cover on Vassago.
1...
2...
Kickout, by Vassago!
Styles: By god, he kicked out again!
Soprano: Ey yo, dis guy right here should be the head of the Soprano family. Screw Uncle Jr. This guy is the maing mang.
Styles: Nozione.
QPublic rolls to the outside, and grabs a steel chair, bringing a huge pop from the crowd with it.
Styles: YEAH!!
Soprano: No respect, no respect. He'll get himself Disqualified, the mammaluke.
Styles: It's ICW, BABY!!!
Pettengill: Do you guys like Ovaltine? My commercial looks like it should belong next to an Ovaltine commercial on the Jack LaLaine fitness show.
Styles: My god, the writer that comes up with this shit, is out of his mind.
Soprano: A fuckin' tragedy.
QPublic gets in the ring, and sets the chair up in the center. He picks Vassago up, who seems to be just trying to catch his breath, and begins to hit Vassago with a flurry of martial arts punches.
Soprano: Look at that lush, he's drunk!
Styles: No, he's using the drunken master technique, its Public Intoxication!
Pettengill: Where is Razor anyway?
Soprano: Razor Ramon...Scott Hall...Public Intoxication...HAHA, I GET IT!
Styles: I think this is one of the signs of the apocalypse.
QPublic does this, and then as Vassago is woozy, he whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a leg sweep, causing him to go head first into the chair!
Styles: OH MY OH WAIT, he blocked it!
Vassago blocks the chair with his hands! QPublic looks somewhat stunned, as Vassago gets to his feet!
Vassago tosses the chair at QPublic, QPublic catches it, Vassago swings at QPublic, QPublic ducks, Vassago turns around, QPublic throws the chair at Vassago, Vassago catches it, QPublic attempts a superkick at the chair, Vassago ducks, QPublic turns around, Vassago throws the chair at QPublic, he catches it, ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE CHAIR AND THE FACE OF QPUBLIC!!!
Styles: OH...MY...GOD!!! FACEBREAKER KICK!
Vassago, in one swift blow, has completely taken out QPublic. Vassago puts out his arms, and goes down on one knee as the crowd boos madly.
Styles: Vassago, in one swift blow, has completely taken out QPublic.
Duh.
Soprano: He'll be eating copacola through a STRAW!!!
Pettengill: It wasnt my fault...I mean that intern was willing! Vince...give me a second chance...PLEASE! I promise...no more interviews with Babysitters in the audience...well maybe a few.
Styles: WHAT?
Pettengill: Eh...look at Dean Douglas go!
Styles: WHAT THE HELL, DEAN DOUGLAS ISNT IN THIS MATCH, IT'S DIESEL, REMEMBER??? AH SHIT, NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!
Soprano: Haha, now you're crazy, Joey.
QPublic staggers to his feet, only to be kicked in the midsection, and taken down with the Stigmata! QPublic goes down hard!
Styles: What a crucifix powerbomb!
Vassago picks up QPublic, and kicks him in the side of the head, Tajiri-style, causing QPublic to spin around. Vassago locks him up in a reverse chancory/ddt hold and flips him back in a reverse/dragon suplex. He lifts him up vertical, and drops him down with a fierce DIAMOND CUTTER!
Styles: OH MY GOD!
Soprano: Now DATS a sign of The Apocalypse .
Vassago rolls QPublic over and lies on top of him-
1...
2...
3!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, Vassago Arcturus
"Driver Down" hits once again, as the bell sounds and Vassago gets up, raising his hands in victory!
QPublic is still laying out cold, as Vassago locks in the Crown Of Thorns !
Styles: Hey!!! COME ON, THATS ENOUGH!
Soprano: YEAH!!! Kill him!!!
Pettengill: Diesel is ruthless!
Vassago cranks back on the Crippler Crossface, as officials come to try to break him off QPublic, but the officials are useless, as Vassago refuses to relinquish the hold!
Suddenly, The Who's "Sparks" hits, and out runs/limps Healius!
Styles: It's Healius!!!!
Duh.
Healius slides into the ring, and picks up the steel chair from before. Vassago sees Healius and lets go of the Crown of Thorns. He stands up, only to be hit by a Healius chairshot to the skull!!!
Styles: Oh my GOD!!!!
Vassago stumbles around, and walks towards the ropes. Healius charges Vassago, and clotheslines him over the top rope, as the crowd goes nuts!
Styles: Vassago does a 360 over the top rope! Could this be shades of RPM?
Soprano: Ey, Healius saved QPublic from an injury, he aughta be thankful!
Healius helps QPublic to his feet, as Healius holds the weary QPublic's hand up, in recognition of his valiant effort against Vassago. The crowd cheers for the two in the ring, as we see Vassago up on the stage, with his hands on his hips. From behind the curtain comes Amalek, who taps Vassago on the shoulder as he stares a hole through the men in the ring. Vassago turns around as Amalek motions for him to come to the back. Vassago obliges, and the two leave the stage area.
Styles: What a match! Vassago came out of nowhere and in a matter of moments, just dominated the match!
Pettengill: Adam Bomb wins again!
Soprano: Ey, we'll be right back.
Styles: The TC title match is next, dont go awa-
Commercial Break:
Want to know a secret?
Well, good for you.
but, I do have this, for your entertainment:
DrDrELeiGh: and just who is DL Glaze
DaVE DuDLeY 632: lol
DrDrELeiGh: is it really your 1/2 b-day?
DaVE DuDLeY 632: yup
DaVE DuDLeY 632: well not anymore
DrDrELeiGh: well it was, yesterday
DaVE DuDLeY 632: si
DrDrELeiGh: that's awesome
DaVE DuDLeY 632: I'm 17 and a half, and it feels good
DrDrELeiGh: mine is June 8
DrDrELeiGh: my half b-day
DaVE DuDLeY 632: 6 more months
DrDrELeiGh: hehe
DaVE DuDLeY 632: And I'll be able to vote!
DrDrELeiGh: September 23, eh?
DaVE DuDLeY 632: october
DrDrELeiGh: DAMNIT
DaVE DuDLeY 632: lol
DrDrELeiGh: i was always bad in math
DaVE DuDLeY 632: LOL
DrDrELeiGh: cant count
DrDrELeiGh: fucking catholic schools teach you how to pray, but not how to add
Inferno fades back from commercial, and is focused in onScottie PP7, who is seated at his desk backstage. Directly at the front of thedesk, a nameplate which reads �Scottie PP7, Damnit� sits, and Miss Clee Taurusis also perched atop Scottie�s desk, her legs crossed, not leaving much to theimagination down south. Anyhow, Scottie sits at his desk, browsing over some�files�, and he notices the camera�s interruption of his quiet time.
Scottie PP7: Oh yeah, the next match, theTransContinental Triple Threat Match. It will be a little different than whateveryone is expecting. In fact, it will be an ICW Hardcore Rules match, meaningNo DQ, pinfalls count anywhere, no time limit, all that fun shit! I hope allthree of those useless jobbers beat the living hell out of each other. Now getthe hell out of my face, I�ve got papers to blankly stare at��..I mean, study.
With that, Scottie pushes the lens of the camera away fromhis line of sight, and as the camera is focused on Miss Clee Taurus for amoment, it then fades back out to ringside, to a shot of Joey Styles, TheToddster, and Mr. Tony Soprano.
Styles: Well fans, we�re back, and we are in factready for our explosive TransContinental Title Triple Threat Match!
Todd Pettengill: Yes we�re back at WWF Mania!, and wejust saw footage of Vince McMahon telling The Undertaker that he mus--��.
Styles: Does it get any dumber then this guy? I don�tthink so.
Mr. Soprano: Eh, whassamatta witchu, Sty-les?Pett-engill, he�s a little confused. Cut him some slack, eh? Show him somerospect!
Styles: Hey Mr. Soprano, you want to hear what Toddhad to say about Anthony Junior?
Mr. Soprano: WHAT? Are you trying to tell me thisDubbayoo Dubbayoo Eff reject was talkin� about MY son?!
Styles- Yeah, he was. Remember the time AJ was out bythe pool? Well, when Todd saw AJ take his shirt off, he had impure thoughtsabout your own son!
Mr. Soprano- WHAT?! What are you Petten-gill, somekind a�.some kind a pedophile? Huh? You better look ova ya shoulda now, yousonuvabitch!
Pettengill: Now hold on a minute there Jim Cornett,there is no way I would ever say anything about your son!
Mr. Soprano- Jim Cornett, eh? DOES IT LOOK LIKE IHAVE A TENNIS RACKET?! DOES IT, HUH?!
Styles- Tony, Tony, take it easy. He�s not showingyou no respect, but it�s no reason to get all worked up. Don�t you have pillsfor that?
Mr. Soprano- Hey come on, we�re all just hea to havea good time, let�s just settle down and show these next wrestlas some respect,eh?
Styles- Right, well this is going to be a HardcoreRules match, and it will be for the ICW TC Title!
Mystikal�s �Danger� begins to play over the PA, and littleto no reaction leads Johnny Blayze out into the Arco Arena. Blayze doesn�t looklike his normal self, as his gut is protruding almost totally out of his shirt.Blayze looks around for a few moments at the fans, and then continues to waddledown the ramp, and roll into the ring.
Styles: Looks like Johnny Blayze had a year-lastingcase of the munchies, and never decided to try and work any of that extra fatoff! It�s what happens when you disappear from ICW programming�.well, since westarted to have programming again!
Pettengill: Well here he is ladies and gentleman,Aldo Montoya, the Portuguese Man of War!
Soprano- Aldo Monwhoya? He sound-sa like a guy I didsome business with recently��say, I never did get that check from him�..
Styles- Who, Johnny Blayze or Aldo Montoya?
Soprano- What? Who? You�ve gone and confused me Jo-eyWalnuts.
Styles- Uh, I�m Joey Styles, but I did hearPettengill say something about wanting to rub AJ�s walnuts, don�t know what hemeant by that.
Soprano- WHAT?! WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT MY SON?! MY OWNSON?!?! OHHHH BUDDY, YOU BETTER WATCH YA BACK FROM NOW ON, LET ME TELL YOUTHAT!
Pettengill: Look, Mr. Monsoon, I�d just like toconcentrate on this match, okay?
As Johnny Blayze waddles around in the ring, �Beyond Within�hits on the PA, and another disinterested reaction leads Nexus down into thering. Just like Johnny Blayze, Nexus seems to be a bit over what his reportedweight is, somewhat of a spare tire developing around his waist. Nexus looksthroughout the unexcited crowd, and begins to strut down the entrance ramp, asJohnny Blayze looks back down at the artist known as Darren Mobius.
Styles- This seems to be another case of littlepreparation for a big match. I mean, at least try and wash underneath that rollof fat before you have to wrestle, for God�s sake!
Pettengill- I honestly think Vader has a great chanceto pick up the win in this match. I mean, to take on both Smoking Guns is noeasy ta--�..
Styles- Enough of this shit. Tony, do you have a gunwith you?
Soprano- Wha? Whassamatta witchu? Ey youse needs megun for?�..Ey what I means is, no, no I dun have no guns!
Styles- I would like to kill the guy making passes atyour son. Do you mind?
Soprano- We can talk after the show, ey? Ey, maybethen we, we figures sometin out about this sick, kid toucher!
Nexus slides into the ring, and stands across from JohnnyBlayze, and the two stare down a bit, with neither of them breaking their focuson the match at hand. As they stand toe-to-toe, �Welcome To The Jungle� hits upon the PA, and some more heat greets Jay Swift, as he rushes out into the ArcoArena. He seems to enjoy the crowds boos, as he rushes down towards the ring!
Styles- So it looks like Swift wants to take it toboth his opponents right off the bat! He�s wasting no time in rushing down tothe ring!
Pettengill- Well Sha--�.
Styles- Shut up. Okay?
Pettengill- No, I was goi--�..
Soprano- Ey, this Jo-ey, he seems prettyserious to meh, ey? I wouldn�t mess wit him, if I wassyou.
Swift runs into the ring, as Nexus and Blayze start to mildly brawl in the ring, throwing wild punches at each other. Swift looks at the two for a moment, and then hops over the top rope.
Styles: Look at the two in the ring, it's almost comical!
Soprano: ey, whats Swift doin out dere?
Jay Swift is looking under the ring apron. He pulls out two tables, and slides one into the ring, and the other he leaves on the outside, but he sets it up. Then he pulls out a Singapore cane, and a steel chair. Swift slides both into the ring, and slides back in himself. The fat Nexus and Blayze are brawling very gay-ish inside the ring. Swift picks up the singapore cane, and canes Nexus right in his fat head! Blayze soon suffers the same fate, but it takes TWO cane shots to put him down.
Styles: Oh my god!!
Swift goes to work on Nexus, in the back with the Singapore Cane. Blayze gets back up, and he gets a SUPERKICK RIGHT TO THE GROIN!!!
Styles: Dick Twister, Dick Twister!
Soprano: You know, that paisan Mr. David Dudley invented that move.
Pettengill: I thought Pat Patterson invented the dick twister.
Styles and Soprano:....
Pettengill: Damn, I figured one of you would get that obscure reference. If anyone gets that reference, email DaveDudley632@AOL.com, and tell him what I'm talking about.
Styles: He said something that made sense!
Pettengill: And now back to some great WWF action here on the ACTION ZONE!
Styles: Bah.
Blayze grabs his groin area in pain, as Swift cracks him over the head with the cane. A big tear in Blayze's forehead rips open.
Styles: OHHH, DISGUSTING!!!
Soprano: Wait, ders no blood! But he whacked him, he whacked him good!
Swift notices the same thing, and begins to investigate. He grabs Blayze's face...and RIPS IT OFF!!!
Styles: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!
Soprano: No no, look! It's a latex mask, just like I thunked!
Swift holds up the mask, wig and all, and looks at it. The camera pans over to reveal none other then MASTA SEXAY!!!!
Styles: It's Masta Sexay, It's Masta Sexay! What the hell?
Swift canes Sexay, this time busting him open, and drawing blood. Swift throws down the cane and picks up the chair. He walks over to where Nexus is, and as Nexus tries to get up and fight back, he gets crushed in the skull by the chair.
Swift drops the chair, and picks Nexus up. He hooks him up, and PLANTS him with a DDT on the chair. He goes to make the cover:
1...
2...
Swift breaks the cover up!
Styles: What now???
He notices a cut in Nexus' face! HE RIPS HIS FACE OFF!!!!
Styles: SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!
Pettengill: HOLY JUMPIN WHEATCAKES!
Soprano: No no, look, it's a latex mask, just as I thunked!
Styles: Wow, talk about Deja Vu.
As Swift holds the mask in his hand again, the camera pans over to reveal.... THE GAME!!!
Styles: What the hell?
Soprano: Whatsa matta with dem?
Swift rolls The Game to the outside, and places him on the table that was set up earlier. Swift then re-enters the ring, and sets up the other table in the corner.
Soprano: No wonder dey were fat, The Game and Masta Sexay havent been booked in Munths.
Swift picks up Masta Sexay, and takes him to the corner with the table. He hooks him up, climbs the turnbuckle, and hits him with a tornado DDT, THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Styles: AND SO IT WAS WRITTEN!!
Swift gets up, and runs towards the ropes, flying off with a corkscrew moonsault over the top rope, THROUGH THE TABLE, ONTO THE GAME!!!
Styles: Oh...my...GOD, He hit Purple Rain!
Soprano:....SHIT.
Pettengill: Lalalalala
Swift makes the cover right there on the outside, amist all the wreckage of the table!
1...
2...
3!!!!!!!
Winner, and NEW TransContinental Champion, Jay Swift
Jay Swift rolls back into the ring and grabs his belt. Swift then flips off the crowd, grabs the back of his head with one hand, and holding the belt with the other, exits the ring and heads back to the locker room as the crowd gives off a mixed reaction.
Styles: Jay Swift, the NEW TC Champion!
Soprano: But wud was the deal with The Game and Masta Sexay going incognito?
Styles: Well, I'm hearing that Johnny Blayze and Nexus were on the same flight, and it was delayed!
Soprano: Eh? Wud is dis, the WWF?
Pettengill: Did you say WWF?
Styles: I guess The Game and Masta Sexay were lurking around the back, and decided to take the opportunity to try to gain some TC gold! But it backfired!!!
Soprano: Anudder fuckin' tragedy.
Styles: We'll be right back!!!
Commercial Break:
Ever stayed up late writing a show? Well I have, so fuck you.
OOC: Well, the Main event is almost done. But thanks to Andrew Leigh being very Geigh, I'm not going to stay up to finish it, because I'm gonna pass out on the keyboard. So, it will be up when I wake up tomorrow. Think of it as...punishment, Andrew. Heh.
Andrew Leigh
Y2AWESOME
Posts: 22
(3/24/01 1:01:11 pm)
OOC
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I deserved the whole "Geigh" comment. It was my fault that the main event wasn't there. I put off writing the match I was supposed to until 2 AM, and when I got about 3 pages done, I began to not be able to focus.
Sort of that "Losing Consciousness After Being Out For A Few Hours" syndrome. Sorry about that.
Dave Dudley
YOUR Hardcore Icon
Posts: 12
(3/24/01 4:07:07 pm)
Main Event
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to live tv
Styles: Well folks, here it is, the main event of the evening, Reno Starr vs. Andrew Leigh, to determine the 4th and final competitor in the 4-way World Title match at RolePlayMania II!
A Papa John's delivery man comes to the announce booth
Styles: What the-
Soprano: Relax, Joey S., it's just my pissa.
Delivery Dude: It'll be $9.99.
Soprano: Damn...all I have is $1,000. Got any change?
Delivery Dude: Uh...yeah...its in the delivery van...
Soprano: Ok, here you go then!
The Delivery Dude runs off screaming "I GOT A THOUSAND BUCKS!!!"
Soprano: What a good kid.
Styles: Uh...I dont think he's coming back.
Soprano: Oh well, at least we gots some pissa.
Pettengill: You remember those Pizza Hut commercials from 1994?
Styles: No, but I'm sure you do.
Pettengill: Heh, yeah. Wait a sec...
Soprano opens the pizza box
Styles: Hey Tony...um...that pizza wouldnt have any...pepperoni...or sausage...by any chance, would it?
Soprano: Yeah, why- ...oh shit.
Soprano keels over, face first in the pizza!
Styles: Damnit, he had one of his panic attacks!!
If you dont know what I'm talking about, I pity the fool. Watch the sopranos, you cretin.
Styles: Todd, go to the back and escort him to the hospital!
Pettengill: But-but
Styles: JUST DO IT!!!
The Toddster gets up as the EMTs arrive, and they all escort Tony to the back.
Styles: Dont worry folks, Mr. Soprano will be fine. But...but...FINALLY, I'M RID OF THOSE TWO GOONS! HAHAHAHA!
Styles lies back in his chair, and kicks his feet up on the table
Styles: God Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
STP's "Lounge Fly" its the PA, as "The Jaded Efed Icon" Andrew Leigh makes his way out to a mixed reaction from this very opinionated Sacremento crowd.
Leigh takes his time walking down the ramp, as he stops to argue with a few fans, and takes time to take a fan's sign that says "HOWDY FOLKS" and shows it to the camera. Leigh smiles, and gives the sign back, as he now walks around the ring and up the ring steps, casually entering the ring. He spins around with his arms out a-la Hardcore Holly, as the fans give a 50/50 reaction.
Styles: This rules, no other announcers out here. Reminds me of old-school ECW.
Noise of a zipper unzipping is heard
Styles: Hear that? That's me taking off my pants. Who needs pants? DOWN WITH PANTS.
"We Are The Champions" by Queen hits, signalling the arrival of "The Starr of the Show", Reno Starr, along with his "sidekick", Andy Rocker.
Styles: Ah. It's my favorite wrestler. Reno Starr. Ahem. I hate this guy, he's so cocky it makes me sick. But, on the other hand, he's one hell of an athlete. And...I cant believe it, but I'm being payed to say this... "The Greatest, Sexiest, Most Talented Actor In Hollywood." Yeah, from what I've heard, he's an actor in ICW, too.
Reno Starr and Andy Rocker both walk the ring very profilish. We see Starr's "Box Office Title" over his shoulder.
Styles: There you see Starr's BOF belt. Errr, that is to say, BOT belt.
Andy Rocker slides into the ring, before Starr makes it into the ring, and he walks over to the other side of the ring, and grabs a mic:
Andy Rocker: Hey, hey you, Y2Geigh. Yeah, you. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you have the power to beat us? We're from Hollywood, California, we have the brains. You, dont have the brains. WERE THE BRAINS. YOU NOT THE BRAINS TILL I SAY YOU THE BRAINS, YOU FILTHY MEXICAN. I remember you were in the Southern Gentlemen. What a hick. I bet you're from Alabama, arent you? Hyuck I'm Andrew Lay, from Alllabama.
Leigh swipes the mic from Rocker
Andrew Leigh: Would you please, do me, and everyone here a favor, and SHUT...THE HELL...UP!
The crowd cheers as Rocker gets startled by the crowd's electricity.
Andrew Leigh: Now you tell your Goldust wanna-be to get in the ring so I can kick his ass! And when I'm done kicking his ass, I'm gonna kick your-
Andrew Leigh cannot finish his sentence, as Reno Starr jumps him from behind, hitting him with the Box Office Title.
Styles: Ohhh, what a coward! Using the belt from behind, BEFORE the bell rings, is Reno Starr, as the bell now rings.
Andrew Leigh goes down as Starr tosses the B.O.T. to Rocker. Starr proceeds to kick Leigh as he is down, and then he poses to the crowd.
The crowd boos and starts up an
"ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE" chant.
Starr waves off the crowd, as if to say he doesnt need them, and he picks Leigh up. Snapmare to Leigh! Leigh is now on his posterior, as Starr locks on a reverse chin-lock!
Styles: Starr obviously has the early advantage, here. Although he cheated, to do so!
Referee Earl Hebner asks Leigh if he wants to quit, Leigh shakes his head no each time. Meanwhile, Rocker gets on the apron behind the ref's back, and un-does the turnbuckle pad.
Styles: What the-?
Rocker hops off the apron, and tells Hebner about the loose turnbuckle. Hebner, being the idiot he is, goes to fix it. Starr lays Leigh over the bottom rope, and Rocker guillotines Leigh over the bottom rope with a Coochie Cutter!
Styles: WHAT A DIRTY, ROTTEN CHEATER!
Rocker celebrates on the outside as Starr poses in the ring, behind Leigh. Leigh gets to his feet and does a back mule kick to Starr's groin! And the whole time Hebner is still fussing with the turnbuckle.
Styles: YEAH, WHAT A TECHNICAL MOVE BY THE TECHNICIAN, LEIGH!
Doesnt it sound like Joey is a little bias?
Leigh gets up, and unleashes a flurry of punches on Starr. Starr tries to counter back with a punch of his own, but Leigh ducks, jabbing Starr in the ribs with a right fist.
Leigh winds Reno up in an armbar, and pulls him close to himself, attempting a short-arm clothesline. Starr ducks, and catches Leigh in a neckbreaker!
Styles: Oh damn, what a neckbreaker! Some would say it was X-Rated!
Hebner is still fussing with the turnbuckle, as Rocker yells at him, to notice Starr making the cover-
1...
2...
Kickout, by Leigh!
Starr picks Leigh up and whips him into the ropes. Starr attempts a backdrop, but as Starr's head is down, Leigh stops, and kicks him right in the chin! Starr gets rocked back towards the ropes and Leigh clotheslines him over the top rope, out in front of the announce table!
Styles: They're right out here in front of us!! Erm...I mean, me. Mwahahahha.
Leigh slingshots over the top rope onto Starr, as they both go crashing to the floor. Rocker runs over to the time keeper and picks up his steel chair. Leigh gets up only to meet Rocker wielding the chair!!
Rocker throws the chair, but Leigh ducks, and hits referee Earl Hebner, who is leaning over the top rope yelling at the combantants, in the head!!!
Hebner bounces back into the middle of the ring, out cold.
Styles: Oh my god!!!
Leigh dropkicks Rocker, and sends him back into the guard rail. Meanwhile, Starr hits Leigh with a low blow, and as Leigh is keeled over, crushes him in the back with the steel chair.
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
Starr throws down the steel chair, and enters the ring. He walks over to Hebner, and tries to revive him. Hebner is out cold, and Starr puts his hands out to the crowd, as to say "Oh well".
Starr locks up Hebner and puts him in the RENO RECLINER!!!
Styles: What the hell is he doing???
Starr smiles and laughs as he cranks on the Steiner Recliner on Earl Hebner. Meanwhile, Leigh, who has gotten to his feet, picks up the steel chair on the outside. Rocker rushes over to stop him , but he gets hit with a chairshot to the head!
Leigh then slides into the ring with the chair, and hits Starr,who still has the Reno Recliner on Hebner, in the back of the skull! Reno goes down, breaking the hold on Hebner.
Styles: OH MY GOD!!! LEIGH IS RUTHLESS!
Leigh throws down the chair, and puts his hands on his waist, as the crowd cheers. Leigh looks around to the crowd, as he starts to pull up Starr. He locks Starr up in a double-underhook position, and hits him with EVOLVING THE LIGHT!!!
Styles: EVOLVING THE LIGHT, THATS IT!!!
The crowd chants
Y-2-A
Y-2-A
Y-2-A
Leigh puts his arms out a-la Raven, or Jericho and screams to the crowd, as they pop heavily.
Styles: It would be over right now, but there's no ref!!
Andrew Leigh just paces around the ring, as Starr starts to get to his feet. Leigh turns around and sees Starr getting up. Andy Rocker gets to his feet, and climbs up to the apron. He slaps Leigh in the back of the head, and as Leigh turns around to hit Rocker, Rocker jumps off the apron. Leigh turns back around, to get ready to charge at Starr, as Rocker climbs back up on the apron. Rocker reaches in his pants, and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles! He hits Leigh right in-between the shoulder blades, and Leigh steps foward, writhing in pain. Starr gets up, and goes to the outside, standing on the ramp. Leigh falls to one knee, as he holds his back. Starr grabs ahold of the top rope, and springboards over, catching Leigh in a FAMEASSER!
Styles: HO-LY shit! He just caught Leigh in the FINAL CUT!
Leigh hits face first, hard, as Starr rolls him over, and attempts a pinfall...but once again, there is no referee.
Starr motions for Andy to get into the ring. Starr and Rocker both wait for Leigh to get up, and as he gets up, Leigh turns around into a DOUBLE-SUPER KICK!
Styles: DEEP IMPACT! These guys are the REAL Impact Playaz!
Leigh goes down, once again. Starr motions for Rocker to get the chair, as Starr places Leigh in the corner. Rocker places the chair in front of Leigh's face, as the crowd pops, in anticipation for what is about to happen.
Styles: Oh my god!!! They're going for the Falling Starr!!!
Reno gets on the outside apron, on the other side of the ring.
Reno places his hands on the top rope, getting ready for another springboard. He springs onto the top rope, and stands there for a second, measuring Leigh up! Reno flies off with a sitdown dropkick, and just before Reno hits the chair, Leigh slides out of the way, causing Reno's lower extremities to crash into the chair, and causing Reno to knock Rocker back to the Spanish announce table. Rocker flips over the table and lands in the lap of those damn dirty Mexicans, as they start to pummel the outspoken Rocker for his earlier words against Mexicans.
Styles: Leigh moved out of the way! Hey...that rhymed.
As Reno rolls around, grabbing his knees and ankles, Leigh gets up, and locks on a REVERSE STF on Starr!
Styles: Thats it, it's THE REALMS OF PAIN from Leigh!
Reno immediately taps out, but there is no ref to see it! Reno keeps tapping, as he moans in pain. Earl Hebner starts to come to, as he gets up and sees Reno tapping! He calls for the bell!
Winner, and going on to RolePlayMania, to face Healius, Vassago, and Amalek in ICW world title 4-way match, Andrew Leigh
Leigh lets go of The Realms Of Pain as the fans go nuts!
Styles: YEAH, THE KID DID IT, HE'S GOING TO RPM!!
Leigh raises his arms in victory, and flips over the top rope, exiting the ring like Kane would. Leigh walks up the ramp as "Lounge Fly" hits once again. Leigh raises his arms up while walking up the ramp backwards, and he points at Starr and mutters some sort of obscenties, which the camera cant really pick up. Leigh heads to the back as we see Reno hobbling to his knees, completely disgusted. Meanwhile, Rocker is trying to fight off Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich(?)
Styles: What a night! The main event for RPM is set, and we have a new TC champ! Oh my, Reno Starr is furious! And we're out of time, ladies and gentlemen! For Todd Pettengill, and Tony Soprano, this is Joey Styles, and as Tony would say, ANUDDER FUCKIN' TRAGEDY! Good night, folks!
End Transmission