Post by Dave Dangerously on May 18, 2008 0:23:08 GMT -6
Insane Championship Wrestling rolled it's ass into Portland, Oregon, Friday night, for Inferno, to a sold out house at the Rose Garden.
Joey Styles, Tony Soprano, and Todd Pettengill were all on hand, for one crazy night, after what went down at WinterWar, things were indeed electrifying.
The show started with highlights from WinterWar:
Ethan Prophet beating Dave Dudley for the LWN title,
Myst fighting Healius in the finals of the tournament,
And Dave Dudley locking on the Silent Scream on Myst to defend the ICW World Title.
At the start of the show, ICW Owner, CEO, President, and Champion, Dave Dudley came down to make his usual speech. He came out to a chorus of boos, and had a lot to say, hell, it's so important, here's the transcript!
Dave Dudley: Welcome to ICW Inferno, everyone. Portland Oregon, such a beautiful town. Possibly Oregon is considered the national champions. Not a bad feat at all. Now, if you could actually win an NBA title, youd' be all set. But I havent come out to harass all of you people, no, no. I came out to address a few things. First of all, the LWN Championship. Yes, the LWN World HeavyPost Championship. I did, in fact lose the title to Ethan Prophet. I must say, that night he was the better man. Funny thing is, Ethan...I managed to land a deal with one J.J. McDerrick, and one of the last guys on the LWN booking squad. And, in fact, true LWN lineage stops with The Hardcore Icon Dave Dudley...and, in fact, LWN/ICW lineage begins with you. Just thought you should know that, so it doesnt get to your head. Just another reason you shouldnt have decided to piss me off. Oh, here's another one, me and you are far from through. Good luck against Sylver tonight.
And, let's see, we have Myst. All I have to say, is you better be prepared tonight, and I hope I didnt beat you up TOO much. We're far from finished, as well.
Other than that, I'm hoping you all will love Inferno here tonight. Oh, I forgot, let me announce ICW's next big PPV, The Insane Rumble. More details will come out later, including the official press release for it. Look for that, in the next few days. Until then, remember, I love each and every one of you, except for everyone here in Portland Oregon. Haha!
Dave Dudley then left, as the first match started,
Sign Guy vs. A Barrel of Midgets
What can I say? Dave really knows how to book a match. Sign Guy came out, and then a barrel was wheeled to the ring. It was tipped over, and multiple midgets came out. Not those mexican minis, no. In fact, Mini Booker T. was one of the midgets, he told Sign Guy to SUCK IT, SUCKA! Apparently, he thought he was part of Degeneration X, tonight. Anyway, Sign Guy made short work of the midgets, and pinned them all.
Winner, Sign Guy Dudley
After the match, Sign Guy got on the mic, and challenged the entire fed to any type of match, saying that he's more than Dudley's sidekick, he's one of the most powerful people in ICW, and you cant F*ck with him. The camera cut to the back to show Dave Dudley watching, approving.
Suddenly, all of the midgets jumped Sign Guy, and pummelled him mercilessly, as the camera showed Dave Dudley laughing, as we cut to commercial...
The next match was
Dan Hampton vs. Johnny Q Public
Hampton came down, and abused QPublic on the mic, much to the delight of the crowd. He talked about how Oregon rules for beating Colorado, and how Dave Dudley is in fact a retarded @#%$, as the crowd popped.
QPublic ran down to the ring, and immediately started to go to work on Hampton. The two traded blows back and forth for a good 3 minutes, until then they started to actually wrestle, trading back and forth your common wrestling holds and maneuvers for about 5 minutes. Styles commented on how Hampton had impressed him, as this was his best outing in a while. Mr. Soprano commented on how Styles was a @#%$, and that QPublic, with the right wardrobe, and a little bit of an attitude change, could be a made man. Pettengill, on the other hand, played in his feces, and quoted Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
QPublic and Hampton spilled out onto the floor, and then out into the crowd, but it never got hardcore. Finally, at the 10 minute mark, QPublic hit The Anger on Hampton, and put him away for the 1-2-3.
Winner, Johnny Q Public
Now, the next match:
Healius and Hoyakillah (c) v. Myst and Amalek v.
ICW Tag Team Championship
�Timelessness� by Fear Factory hits, and Myst comes out to a big pop from the crowd - segues into Slayer�s �Disciple� and Amalek comes out, to less of a pop but still a pop given that he�s working with Myst. The two come out, pose for the crowd briefly - well, not really posing, but still - and head down to the ring, as �Knockin� On Heaven�s Door� hits, and out come the Southern Gentlemen! They�ve got the tag belts on, and walk down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans. Styles draws a comparison with them to the Brainbusters, which Soprano likes, but says that he prefers the Full Blooded Italians. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, the SG head down to the ring as Amalek and Myst are in one corner, the ref standing between the four men... and �Closer� by NIN hits. Oh joy. Big surprise - Dave Dudley�s one member of the surprise team. Dudley comes out, to a HUGE chorus of boos from the crowd. Can�t really tell if that�s Angle heat, or Bossman/X-Pac heat. You be the judge. So Dudley�s standing up there, posing... and �Coma� by STP hits! WHOA! It�s Andrew Leigh! Leigh is Dudley�s partner - who would have thought this! So Leigh�s up there with Dudley, looking cocky as all get out - christ, now he�s ripping off heel Jericho as well as face Jericho? Whatever. So Leigh and Dudley start working their way down to the ring - nice way to intro a guy into a fed, give him a title shot! Although, it is Andrew Leigh we�re talking about, so... oh, yeah, the match! Leigh and Dudley walk down to the ring, get in there... and they get charged as the bell is rung! Myst and Amalek both go after Dudley, while Healius and Hoya go for their former Southern Gentlemen partner. Dudley down in one corner as Myst and Amalek put the boots to him - Leigh in the opposite corner, getting POUNDED by the tag champs. Finally, the two heels are dragged up to their feet, and whipped at each other - but Leigh manages to duck Dudley and goes over, clotheslining Myst and Amalek! But Myst and Amalek no-sell! MYSTLEIGHARIA LIVES! Dudley heads over to the SG�s corner - Hoya slides out and drop-toe holds Dudley into the bottom turnbuckle, leaving Healius to work him over. Hoya gets out of the ring, as do Leigh and Myst, who are tangling on the floor, leaving Amalek in the ring with Healius and Dudley. Oh, and don�t forget - this is one of those one-pin-to-a-finish matches, rather than elimination. Healius pounding on Dudley in the corner, and in comes Amalek! Amalek grabs Healius and pulls him out of the corner, and then goes in and starts wailing on Dudley himself! Next few minutes are just chaos - Healius and Amalek both trying to get to Dudley, to the point where they start fighting themselves! Dudley seizes the moment, taking a quick breather, then coming out himself and going after both of them! All three are pounding on each other in the ring - then Amalek gets over to his corner and tags in Myst - and the crowd erupts! Myst looks in the ring, at Healius, at Dudley - Healius looks at Dudley and Myst - and their focus settles on Dudley, as they charge him! Pounding ensues, but not for long, as Healius and Myst fighting for advantage start brawling with each other! Myst manages to get Healius down, and immediately goes for the pin! 1... 2... and Dudley pulls Myst off! Myst doesn�t exactly like that, and starts staring a hole through Dudley - who starts backing up, until he drops and takes down Myst with a low blow! Myst crumples - but Healius goes over Myst and spears Dudley into the corner! Big pop for that, noted by the announcers. Healius up on top of Dudley - and now Myst pulls Healius off! This match is getting harder and harder to follow by the moment, if you can�t tell - especially because at the moment, it hasn�t just devolved into a six man clusterfrick. Myst pulling Healius off leads to Hoya coming in to stop Myst, leading Amalek coming in to stop Hoya, leading Leigh to come in and just cause trouble. The ref tries to stop it at first, then realizes that there�s no way to stop it - ok, we have officially devolved into a six-man clusterfrick. Hopefully this will be easier to follow. Myst and Healius lock up, as do Amalek and Dudley and Leigh and Hoya. Nice. Myst whips Healius into the ropes, comes off to grab Healius� arm, whip him around - gets behind him and PLANTS him with a MindBreaker straitjacket suplex. Soprano thinks it�s over, but Hoya manages to get over in the nick of time, kicking Myst in the head to break the count. But before Hoya can get his hands on Myst further, Leigh grabs him again, and now it�s Y2A and Hoya in the middle of the ring, trading punches back and forth. Meanwhile, Amalek and Dudley have been brawling, going to the outside, laying into each other with stiff rights and lefts. Amalek doubles Dave up with a knee to the gut - puts him up for a crucifix powerbomb! But he makes the mistake of doing it near the ropes - Dave grabs onto the ropes with his hands and uses his legs to start choking Amalek out! But as Dave is standing there, atop Amalek on the outside, Myst calmly walks over, and SNAPS Dudley�s head back with a stiff Tajiri kick to the head! Dave releases the ropes, and Amalek SMASHES him into the mat with the crucifix powerbomb! But the damage from the headscissors has been done, Amalek down to one knee on the outside, unable to cover Dudley. Leigh and Hoya have been struggling for advantage this while in a collar-and-elbow lockup - Leigh gets advantage, and hoists Hoya up in a stall vertical suplex - but Healius chop-blocks his former tag-team partner from the Southern Scream! Leigh goes down, and Hoya comes down on top of him - 1... 2... and Myst for some reason breaks the count! That reason being obvious when he hauls Hoya up and starts WHALING on him with rights and lefts! Hoya fights back, and the crowd is cheering both men! Myst whips Hoya into the ropes - Hoya comes off with a short-arm clothesline, taking Myst down to the mat! But Hoya doesn�t go for the cover - he�s pounding Myst into the mat - until LEIGH makes the save for Myst, taking Hoya down with a stiff kick to the back of the head! Hoya goes down, and Myst gets to his feet - and Leigh flips him the bird, to a lot of heel heat. Myst flips his hair back, and flips Leigh the bird, to a huge pop from the crowd! So Leigh charges him, pummeling him down to the mat, but Myst giving no quarter, back and forth, punches flying. Styles is referencing the backstage history of the two like mad, but Soprano is totally confused as to what the hell Mystleigharia is supposed to be. I guess he doesn�t get the flying monkeys. Anyway, so Myst and Leigh are going at it on the mat... and separately, Amalek and Dudley are getting into the ring. But that leaves two people... the tag champs, who look at each other, and launch themselves at the other two people left! Hoya takes Amalek, and to a big pop, Healius smashes into Dudley! Hoya pulls Amalek into the ring over the top rope, and drops a leg from the second rope onto the Heretic�s abdomen! Healius grabs Dudley over the top rope, barely getting his arms in a bear hug under Dudley�s armpits... AND BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES HIM, OVER THE TOP ROPE, INTO THE RING! BIG pop for that, and Styles and Soprano are suitably impressed. It was one of those AJPW-ish moves where Dudley came down pretty much square on the top of his head. Neck death RULES! Anyway, so Dudley and Healius are in the ring mixing it up as Leigh and Myst fight each other for leverage, Myst and Leigh finally going under the bottom rope to the outside so as to better mix it up on the outside, and Amalek getting the better of Hoya, slapping on a chokehold and lifting him up to slam him down to the mat! Amalek now goes for the cover on Hoya... 1... 2.. and Hoya kicks out, just in time to save the tag titles! Amalek�s pissed at the ref, and threatens to take him out too - but Hoya clips him from behind! Amalek bends backwards - Hoya snakes in a dragon sleeper, then moves his leg in - stretch plum! Amalek is flailing around, but manages to catch the top rope! The ref orders Hoya to break the hold - but Hoya won�t! Styles points out, correctly, that even if DQ�d, the Southern Gentlemen walk out with the titles. But Hoya does break the hold - only because Healius is in trouble from Andrew Leigh! While Hoya and Amalek were battling it out, Dudley was down on the mat, still recovering from that nasty belly to belly floatover suplex, and Healius was about to make the cover - but Leigh caught his leg from the outside whilst battling it out with Myst - the two having resorted to folding steel chairs - and pulls him down to the mat, then outside! Myst swings for Leigh with a chair - but Healius takes the blast! He goes down, and Leigh manages to PASTE Myst with a chair at the same time, taking him down! Leigh goes for the cover - 1... 2... and from the top turnbuckle, Hoya manages to CRUSH Leigh with a cross-body block, breaking that count. Nice. Healius is still a little shaky getting to his feet - that was a STIFF chairshot - as Myst gets to his - and sees Dudley in the ring. And without a second glance at Healius, or Leigh, or Hoya, Myst rolls into the ring. Shoots a look at Amalek, who�s recovering in the corner from the Stretch Plum submission, and walks over to Dudley. Looks down at him - and spits! Gets on top of him - AND MYST CINCHES IN THE SILENT SCREAM! He�s got it on TIGHT - and he�s yelling while he cinches up the hold - a rarity for Myst!
Myst: TAP YOU F*CKING SON OF A B!TCH! TAP! TAP! YOU LIKE IT? HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW, HUH? HUH???
Styles is noting that this was the same move used by Dudley to somehow, some way, get Myst to tap and retain the ICW World Title at ICW Presents LWN WinterWar. Soprano notes the irony, at which point Styles notes that there was no irony whatsoever involved. So Soprano threatns to have Styles� legs broken. Prezz. Anyway, Myst has the hold locked in TIGHT - but in comes Leigh with a steel chair, nailing Myst across the back of the head - BUT STILL THE HOLD ISN�T BROKEN! Of course, you might wonder how Leigh got in the ring - that�s because Amalek is currently preoccupied in the corner, Hoya and Healius both pounding a mudhole into him and stomping it dry. So Leigh pastes Myst - but it isn�t enough! So Leigh looks at Myst, looks at the chair, wheels around, and FLATTENS Myst flush in the face with the chair! Now THIS is enough to get the hold broken, although Dudley is still down in the ring. Blood�s flowing pretty freely from a couple cuts on Myst�s face, as well as from his nose from the chairshot, but Myst just calmly gets to his feet and looks over at Leigh. Unnerved, Y2A picks up the chair and threatens to use it - and Myst eggs him on! Y2A charges, chair in hand, but Myst ducks - and Leigh goes past him, to a waiting Hoya, who kicks him in the gut, forcing him to drop the chair! The chair goes down, Leigh is doubled over - Hoya DDT�s him on the chair! Goes for the cover, to hold onto the titles! 1... 2... and Myst pulls Hoya off, just as Leigh was kicking out! Myst manages to get Hoya up in running powerslam position - throws him up and brings him down into a sitdown powerbomb - the Hoyahater! Soprano is yelling that this was the move designed to defeat Hoya, and now it will! Myst has the Boston Crab hooked in - Hoya�s in agony in the middle of the ring! He can�t get to any of the ropes! Leigh is down from the DDT! Dudley is down from the belly to belly suplex! Healius wants to make the save, but Amalek has him locked in a crossface chickenwing, having gotten the advantage on him when Hoya left to go take on Myst and Leigh! Not quite his Heretic finisher, but close! So Hoya has no option but to tap! Styles is yelling that this is it! New champions! - AND THEN DUDLEY GETS UP! The crowd is booing Dudley, but popping for the action! Myst�s got the hold locked on, so he can�t fight off Dudley, who STIFFS him with rights and lefts! The hold is broken - and Dudley DDTs Myst to the mat! Seeing this, Amalek breaks the crossface chickenwing and takes off after Dudley! Amalek FLATTENS Dudley with a shortarm clothesline, and in doing so, gets his arm around Dudley�s neck in a rear-naked choke! But Dudley fights back with elbows to Amalek�s gut, stiffing him and breaking the chokehold but not getting the Heretic off his back, so to speak! So Myst is down. Leigh is down. Healius is down in the corner. Hoya grabs the top rope, pulling himself to his feet...
AND �HATE ME NOW� HITS THE SPEAKERS!
The crowd goes BALLISTIC! Yes, JPac�s a heel, but this is his first time in ICW in, well, who knows how long! And here he comes down the aisle, leather jacket on, JPacalypse t-shirt underneath! Amalek and Dudley are busy with their fighting, and the other three men are down in the ring... except Hoya, who with a burst of energy, flips over the top rope, onto the apron - COMES OFF WITH A CROSS-BODY BLOCK, FLATTENING JPAC ON THE OUTSIDE! Big pop for that one! Hoya gets up, looking down at JPac, flips him the double-bird, and starts WAILING on him with lefts and rights, fists and boots! But JPac takes all of it, then starts coming back with his own offense! It�s a brawl on the outside, as the two head over toward the announce table, just SMASHING into each other, no holding back, whipping each other into the ring barriers, into the ring itself, just brutalizing each other! Inside the ring - Amalek and Dudley are still dueling it out - Dudley whips Amalek into the ropes! Amalek comes off - Dudley catches him - flapjack! INTO THE DIAMOND CUTTER! 4D! 4D! NEW CHAMPIONS! Ref in... 1... 2... and at the VERY last minute, Healius breaks up the count - but not by himself, instead whipping Leigh into Dudley! Dudley can�t believe it - but from behind, Amalek cinches in the HERETIC CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! He�s getting choked out - but he grabs the bottom rope! However, MYST manages to get up, and kicks Dudley�s hand off the top rope! Meanwhile, Leigh staggers over to Healius - KICK TO THE GUT! Leigh is doubled over - HEALIUS HAS THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK! He takes him up - ENLIGHTENMENT! The ref comes in, and Myst turns, at the last second, seeing Healius with the cover on Leigh! 1... 2... 3! Myst breaks it up, but too late!
Winners by pinfall, and STILL ICW Tag Team Champions, the Southern Gentlemen!
Myst on top of Healius as the bell rings to end the match, flailing away - but Dudley manages to mule kick Amalek in the groin, not enough to take him out, but enough to break the Heretic crossface chickenwing! Dudley in behind Myst - sinks in the Tazzmission! And he�s laughing while he does it!
Dudley: YOU LIKE IT, MYST? YOU LIKE IT?? YOU LIKE IT!
Myst is in trouble -
AND ADEMA�S �THE WAY YOU LIKE IT� HITS, AND OUT COMES NONZ!!!
HUGE pop for Nonz, who comes running down to the ring, stoge in mouth, baseball bat in hand! Into the ring, and he NAILS Dudley from behind with the bat! The hold�s broken (as is the bat!) - and Myst turns, staredown in mid-ring with Nonz! Myst just flips Nonz the bird, and flips himself over the top rope! Amalek goes over the ropes himself, and the two just stand there for a second, before heading to the back. Nonz still in ring - and three of the combatants are still in the ring! Leigh had rolled to the outside after Myst broke up the pinfall on Healius, even though Leigh was pinned for the trey. He and Dudley both head to the back as well, although Leigh has to restrain Dudley from trying to charge Nonz, broken bat in hand and a smirk on his face, to a big pop from the crowd! So that leaves one person in the ring... Healius! Healius uneasily to his feet... and turns to face Nonz, to a big pop! Staredown in mid-ring! Meanwhile, Hoya and JPac are BRAWLING on the outside! Pac whips Hoya into the ring, nailing him in the back! Comes in to splash him - and Hoya moves out of the way! Pac goes sternum first into the ring - Hoya grabs him from behind, and PLANTS him with a reverse DDT! But JPac is RIGHT back up - but instead of charging Hoya, he sees Healius and Nonz staring down in the middle of the ring! Immediately, he moves past Hoya, into the ring, and goes chest-to-chest with Nonz, blowing Healius off! Hoya�s right behind him, into the ring, and pulls JPac back! But Nonz, seeing Hoya, charges him! And it�s a melee in mid-ring! All four are going at it - and out come ICW referees, to a CHORUS of boos, to break it all up!
Time for the LWN Championship Match. The ring announcer announces that LWN rules apply! LWN rules? WTF?
Ethan Prophet(c) vs. Sylver Morrigan
Sylver came down, to a big pop. She waited for Prophet, who strolled down to the ring, cocky as ever. Much like Y2J Chris Jericho. Of course, Styles compared Prophet to Jericho. And then compared Jericho to Andrew Leigh. And then went on to say how Andrew Leigh > Jericho. He IS the peoples B*tch. Soprano went on to say...
Soprano: Joe-eee, you'se da little b*tch.
Ethan attacked Sylver from behind, as the match begins. He kicks her to the outside, as he then plays to the crowd. The crowd boos, and boos, and boos.
After a minute, Sylver re-enters the ring, and goes to work on Ethan. She knocks Prophet into the corner, and begins to beat the living hell out of him, as he flails around, overexaggerating each punch, chop, and kick, like it was torture. Actually, it probably was.
Ethan slides out to the outside of the ring, and drags Sylver's legs towards the ring post, where he slams her knees into the unforgiving steel.
Prophet grabs a steel chair, and slides it into the ring.
He then goes over to the timekeeper, and grabs his LWN Title belt.
He enters the ring, and prepares to hit Sylver with the title belt, but the ref pulls it away.
Prophet turns around and clobbers the ref, as the ref falls down, completely out. Was it intentional? Or on purpose? We dont know, as Sylver gets up and tackles Prophet, and starts to punch away on him. She gets off of Prophet, and he gets to his knees, and attempts a low blow! It doesnt work though, cause she's a lady. Soprano makes a comment I cannot repeat here, as it will get me killed by all ladies around the world.
Sylver stares at Ethan, like "WTF?" but Prophet pokes her in the eye, before she can do anything about it.
Suddenly, Dave Dudley hobbles on down to the ring, toting a steel chair(minus barbed wire)! Ethan gets up and turns around only to meet Dudley, who's on the ring apron. Dave clobbers Prophet with the chair, right in the head! The chair goes flying off of Prophet's head, and lands in the ring. Dave hops off of the apron and begins to walk back up the ramp.
Dave walks halfway up the ramp, but turns around and runs into the ring, and 4D's Sylver!!! The Dave Dudley Death Drop!!!
He then steps over Prophet, kicking him in the process, and leaves the ring. Prophet gets to his knees, groggy, and he grabs the steel chair, not really knowing where he is. It's at this point, that the ref regains conciousness, and seeing Sylver laying out cold, Prophet holding a chair, he calls for the ring bell!
Prophet looks confused, as the ref explains to him he was DQ'd. Really though he wasnt, if you're following what I'm saying. Prophet looks out towards the crowd, in anger, and then clocks the ref with the chair!
Winner by DQ, Sylver Morrigan
After hitting the ref, Prophet starts to stomp away on the fallen Sylver.
Before you know it, Dave Dudley runs back down, slides into the ring, and 4D's Prophet! The Dave Dudley Death Drop!!!!
Dave grabs Ethan's LWN World HeavyPost Championship over his head, as the fans give off a mixed reaction, as this wacky and suprising and AMAZING show comes to a close.
End Transmission
Joey Styles, Tony Soprano, and Todd Pettengill were all on hand, for one crazy night, after what went down at WinterWar, things were indeed electrifying.
The show started with highlights from WinterWar:
Ethan Prophet beating Dave Dudley for the LWN title,
Myst fighting Healius in the finals of the tournament,
And Dave Dudley locking on the Silent Scream on Myst to defend the ICW World Title.
At the start of the show, ICW Owner, CEO, President, and Champion, Dave Dudley came down to make his usual speech. He came out to a chorus of boos, and had a lot to say, hell, it's so important, here's the transcript!
Dave Dudley: Welcome to ICW Inferno, everyone. Portland Oregon, such a beautiful town. Possibly Oregon is considered the national champions. Not a bad feat at all. Now, if you could actually win an NBA title, youd' be all set. But I havent come out to harass all of you people, no, no. I came out to address a few things. First of all, the LWN Championship. Yes, the LWN World HeavyPost Championship. I did, in fact lose the title to Ethan Prophet. I must say, that night he was the better man. Funny thing is, Ethan...I managed to land a deal with one J.J. McDerrick, and one of the last guys on the LWN booking squad. And, in fact, true LWN lineage stops with The Hardcore Icon Dave Dudley...and, in fact, LWN/ICW lineage begins with you. Just thought you should know that, so it doesnt get to your head. Just another reason you shouldnt have decided to piss me off. Oh, here's another one, me and you are far from through. Good luck against Sylver tonight.
And, let's see, we have Myst. All I have to say, is you better be prepared tonight, and I hope I didnt beat you up TOO much. We're far from finished, as well.
Other than that, I'm hoping you all will love Inferno here tonight. Oh, I forgot, let me announce ICW's next big PPV, The Insane Rumble. More details will come out later, including the official press release for it. Look for that, in the next few days. Until then, remember, I love each and every one of you, except for everyone here in Portland Oregon. Haha!
Dave Dudley then left, as the first match started,
Sign Guy vs. A Barrel of Midgets
What can I say? Dave really knows how to book a match. Sign Guy came out, and then a barrel was wheeled to the ring. It was tipped over, and multiple midgets came out. Not those mexican minis, no. In fact, Mini Booker T. was one of the midgets, he told Sign Guy to SUCK IT, SUCKA! Apparently, he thought he was part of Degeneration X, tonight. Anyway, Sign Guy made short work of the midgets, and pinned them all.
Winner, Sign Guy Dudley
After the match, Sign Guy got on the mic, and challenged the entire fed to any type of match, saying that he's more than Dudley's sidekick, he's one of the most powerful people in ICW, and you cant F*ck with him. The camera cut to the back to show Dave Dudley watching, approving.
Suddenly, all of the midgets jumped Sign Guy, and pummelled him mercilessly, as the camera showed Dave Dudley laughing, as we cut to commercial...
The next match was
Dan Hampton vs. Johnny Q Public
Hampton came down, and abused QPublic on the mic, much to the delight of the crowd. He talked about how Oregon rules for beating Colorado, and how Dave Dudley is in fact a retarded @#%$, as the crowd popped.
QPublic ran down to the ring, and immediately started to go to work on Hampton. The two traded blows back and forth for a good 3 minutes, until then they started to actually wrestle, trading back and forth your common wrestling holds and maneuvers for about 5 minutes. Styles commented on how Hampton had impressed him, as this was his best outing in a while. Mr. Soprano commented on how Styles was a @#%$, and that QPublic, with the right wardrobe, and a little bit of an attitude change, could be a made man. Pettengill, on the other hand, played in his feces, and quoted Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
QPublic and Hampton spilled out onto the floor, and then out into the crowd, but it never got hardcore. Finally, at the 10 minute mark, QPublic hit The Anger on Hampton, and put him away for the 1-2-3.
Winner, Johnny Q Public
Now, the next match:
Healius and Hoyakillah (c) v. Myst and Amalek v.
ICW Tag Team Championship
�Timelessness� by Fear Factory hits, and Myst comes out to a big pop from the crowd - segues into Slayer�s �Disciple� and Amalek comes out, to less of a pop but still a pop given that he�s working with Myst. The two come out, pose for the crowd briefly - well, not really posing, but still - and head down to the ring, as �Knockin� On Heaven�s Door� hits, and out come the Southern Gentlemen! They�ve got the tag belts on, and walk down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans. Styles draws a comparison with them to the Brainbusters, which Soprano likes, but says that he prefers the Full Blooded Italians. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, the SG head down to the ring as Amalek and Myst are in one corner, the ref standing between the four men... and �Closer� by NIN hits. Oh joy. Big surprise - Dave Dudley�s one member of the surprise team. Dudley comes out, to a HUGE chorus of boos from the crowd. Can�t really tell if that�s Angle heat, or Bossman/X-Pac heat. You be the judge. So Dudley�s standing up there, posing... and �Coma� by STP hits! WHOA! It�s Andrew Leigh! Leigh is Dudley�s partner - who would have thought this! So Leigh�s up there with Dudley, looking cocky as all get out - christ, now he�s ripping off heel Jericho as well as face Jericho? Whatever. So Leigh and Dudley start working their way down to the ring - nice way to intro a guy into a fed, give him a title shot! Although, it is Andrew Leigh we�re talking about, so... oh, yeah, the match! Leigh and Dudley walk down to the ring, get in there... and they get charged as the bell is rung! Myst and Amalek both go after Dudley, while Healius and Hoya go for their former Southern Gentlemen partner. Dudley down in one corner as Myst and Amalek put the boots to him - Leigh in the opposite corner, getting POUNDED by the tag champs. Finally, the two heels are dragged up to their feet, and whipped at each other - but Leigh manages to duck Dudley and goes over, clotheslining Myst and Amalek! But Myst and Amalek no-sell! MYSTLEIGHARIA LIVES! Dudley heads over to the SG�s corner - Hoya slides out and drop-toe holds Dudley into the bottom turnbuckle, leaving Healius to work him over. Hoya gets out of the ring, as do Leigh and Myst, who are tangling on the floor, leaving Amalek in the ring with Healius and Dudley. Oh, and don�t forget - this is one of those one-pin-to-a-finish matches, rather than elimination. Healius pounding on Dudley in the corner, and in comes Amalek! Amalek grabs Healius and pulls him out of the corner, and then goes in and starts wailing on Dudley himself! Next few minutes are just chaos - Healius and Amalek both trying to get to Dudley, to the point where they start fighting themselves! Dudley seizes the moment, taking a quick breather, then coming out himself and going after both of them! All three are pounding on each other in the ring - then Amalek gets over to his corner and tags in Myst - and the crowd erupts! Myst looks in the ring, at Healius, at Dudley - Healius looks at Dudley and Myst - and their focus settles on Dudley, as they charge him! Pounding ensues, but not for long, as Healius and Myst fighting for advantage start brawling with each other! Myst manages to get Healius down, and immediately goes for the pin! 1... 2... and Dudley pulls Myst off! Myst doesn�t exactly like that, and starts staring a hole through Dudley - who starts backing up, until he drops and takes down Myst with a low blow! Myst crumples - but Healius goes over Myst and spears Dudley into the corner! Big pop for that, noted by the announcers. Healius up on top of Dudley - and now Myst pulls Healius off! This match is getting harder and harder to follow by the moment, if you can�t tell - especially because at the moment, it hasn�t just devolved into a six man clusterfrick. Myst pulling Healius off leads to Hoya coming in to stop Myst, leading Amalek coming in to stop Hoya, leading Leigh to come in and just cause trouble. The ref tries to stop it at first, then realizes that there�s no way to stop it - ok, we have officially devolved into a six-man clusterfrick. Hopefully this will be easier to follow. Myst and Healius lock up, as do Amalek and Dudley and Leigh and Hoya. Nice. Myst whips Healius into the ropes, comes off to grab Healius� arm, whip him around - gets behind him and PLANTS him with a MindBreaker straitjacket suplex. Soprano thinks it�s over, but Hoya manages to get over in the nick of time, kicking Myst in the head to break the count. But before Hoya can get his hands on Myst further, Leigh grabs him again, and now it�s Y2A and Hoya in the middle of the ring, trading punches back and forth. Meanwhile, Amalek and Dudley have been brawling, going to the outside, laying into each other with stiff rights and lefts. Amalek doubles Dave up with a knee to the gut - puts him up for a crucifix powerbomb! But he makes the mistake of doing it near the ropes - Dave grabs onto the ropes with his hands and uses his legs to start choking Amalek out! But as Dave is standing there, atop Amalek on the outside, Myst calmly walks over, and SNAPS Dudley�s head back with a stiff Tajiri kick to the head! Dave releases the ropes, and Amalek SMASHES him into the mat with the crucifix powerbomb! But the damage from the headscissors has been done, Amalek down to one knee on the outside, unable to cover Dudley. Leigh and Hoya have been struggling for advantage this while in a collar-and-elbow lockup - Leigh gets advantage, and hoists Hoya up in a stall vertical suplex - but Healius chop-blocks his former tag-team partner from the Southern Scream! Leigh goes down, and Hoya comes down on top of him - 1... 2... and Myst for some reason breaks the count! That reason being obvious when he hauls Hoya up and starts WHALING on him with rights and lefts! Hoya fights back, and the crowd is cheering both men! Myst whips Hoya into the ropes - Hoya comes off with a short-arm clothesline, taking Myst down to the mat! But Hoya doesn�t go for the cover - he�s pounding Myst into the mat - until LEIGH makes the save for Myst, taking Hoya down with a stiff kick to the back of the head! Hoya goes down, and Myst gets to his feet - and Leigh flips him the bird, to a lot of heel heat. Myst flips his hair back, and flips Leigh the bird, to a huge pop from the crowd! So Leigh charges him, pummeling him down to the mat, but Myst giving no quarter, back and forth, punches flying. Styles is referencing the backstage history of the two like mad, but Soprano is totally confused as to what the hell Mystleigharia is supposed to be. I guess he doesn�t get the flying monkeys. Anyway, so Myst and Leigh are going at it on the mat... and separately, Amalek and Dudley are getting into the ring. But that leaves two people... the tag champs, who look at each other, and launch themselves at the other two people left! Hoya takes Amalek, and to a big pop, Healius smashes into Dudley! Hoya pulls Amalek into the ring over the top rope, and drops a leg from the second rope onto the Heretic�s abdomen! Healius grabs Dudley over the top rope, barely getting his arms in a bear hug under Dudley�s armpits... AND BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES HIM, OVER THE TOP ROPE, INTO THE RING! BIG pop for that, and Styles and Soprano are suitably impressed. It was one of those AJPW-ish moves where Dudley came down pretty much square on the top of his head. Neck death RULES! Anyway, so Dudley and Healius are in the ring mixing it up as Leigh and Myst fight each other for leverage, Myst and Leigh finally going under the bottom rope to the outside so as to better mix it up on the outside, and Amalek getting the better of Hoya, slapping on a chokehold and lifting him up to slam him down to the mat! Amalek now goes for the cover on Hoya... 1... 2.. and Hoya kicks out, just in time to save the tag titles! Amalek�s pissed at the ref, and threatens to take him out too - but Hoya clips him from behind! Amalek bends backwards - Hoya snakes in a dragon sleeper, then moves his leg in - stretch plum! Amalek is flailing around, but manages to catch the top rope! The ref orders Hoya to break the hold - but Hoya won�t! Styles points out, correctly, that even if DQ�d, the Southern Gentlemen walk out with the titles. But Hoya does break the hold - only because Healius is in trouble from Andrew Leigh! While Hoya and Amalek were battling it out, Dudley was down on the mat, still recovering from that nasty belly to belly floatover suplex, and Healius was about to make the cover - but Leigh caught his leg from the outside whilst battling it out with Myst - the two having resorted to folding steel chairs - and pulls him down to the mat, then outside! Myst swings for Leigh with a chair - but Healius takes the blast! He goes down, and Leigh manages to PASTE Myst with a chair at the same time, taking him down! Leigh goes for the cover - 1... 2... and from the top turnbuckle, Hoya manages to CRUSH Leigh with a cross-body block, breaking that count. Nice. Healius is still a little shaky getting to his feet - that was a STIFF chairshot - as Myst gets to his - and sees Dudley in the ring. And without a second glance at Healius, or Leigh, or Hoya, Myst rolls into the ring. Shoots a look at Amalek, who�s recovering in the corner from the Stretch Plum submission, and walks over to Dudley. Looks down at him - and spits! Gets on top of him - AND MYST CINCHES IN THE SILENT SCREAM! He�s got it on TIGHT - and he�s yelling while he cinches up the hold - a rarity for Myst!
Myst: TAP YOU F*CKING SON OF A B!TCH! TAP! TAP! YOU LIKE IT? HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW, HUH? HUH???
Styles is noting that this was the same move used by Dudley to somehow, some way, get Myst to tap and retain the ICW World Title at ICW Presents LWN WinterWar. Soprano notes the irony, at which point Styles notes that there was no irony whatsoever involved. So Soprano threatns to have Styles� legs broken. Prezz. Anyway, Myst has the hold locked in TIGHT - but in comes Leigh with a steel chair, nailing Myst across the back of the head - BUT STILL THE HOLD ISN�T BROKEN! Of course, you might wonder how Leigh got in the ring - that�s because Amalek is currently preoccupied in the corner, Hoya and Healius both pounding a mudhole into him and stomping it dry. So Leigh pastes Myst - but it isn�t enough! So Leigh looks at Myst, looks at the chair, wheels around, and FLATTENS Myst flush in the face with the chair! Now THIS is enough to get the hold broken, although Dudley is still down in the ring. Blood�s flowing pretty freely from a couple cuts on Myst�s face, as well as from his nose from the chairshot, but Myst just calmly gets to his feet and looks over at Leigh. Unnerved, Y2A picks up the chair and threatens to use it - and Myst eggs him on! Y2A charges, chair in hand, but Myst ducks - and Leigh goes past him, to a waiting Hoya, who kicks him in the gut, forcing him to drop the chair! The chair goes down, Leigh is doubled over - Hoya DDT�s him on the chair! Goes for the cover, to hold onto the titles! 1... 2... and Myst pulls Hoya off, just as Leigh was kicking out! Myst manages to get Hoya up in running powerslam position - throws him up and brings him down into a sitdown powerbomb - the Hoyahater! Soprano is yelling that this was the move designed to defeat Hoya, and now it will! Myst has the Boston Crab hooked in - Hoya�s in agony in the middle of the ring! He can�t get to any of the ropes! Leigh is down from the DDT! Dudley is down from the belly to belly suplex! Healius wants to make the save, but Amalek has him locked in a crossface chickenwing, having gotten the advantage on him when Hoya left to go take on Myst and Leigh! Not quite his Heretic finisher, but close! So Hoya has no option but to tap! Styles is yelling that this is it! New champions! - AND THEN DUDLEY GETS UP! The crowd is booing Dudley, but popping for the action! Myst�s got the hold locked on, so he can�t fight off Dudley, who STIFFS him with rights and lefts! The hold is broken - and Dudley DDTs Myst to the mat! Seeing this, Amalek breaks the crossface chickenwing and takes off after Dudley! Amalek FLATTENS Dudley with a shortarm clothesline, and in doing so, gets his arm around Dudley�s neck in a rear-naked choke! But Dudley fights back with elbows to Amalek�s gut, stiffing him and breaking the chokehold but not getting the Heretic off his back, so to speak! So Myst is down. Leigh is down. Healius is down in the corner. Hoya grabs the top rope, pulling himself to his feet...
AND �HATE ME NOW� HITS THE SPEAKERS!
The crowd goes BALLISTIC! Yes, JPac�s a heel, but this is his first time in ICW in, well, who knows how long! And here he comes down the aisle, leather jacket on, JPacalypse t-shirt underneath! Amalek and Dudley are busy with their fighting, and the other three men are down in the ring... except Hoya, who with a burst of energy, flips over the top rope, onto the apron - COMES OFF WITH A CROSS-BODY BLOCK, FLATTENING JPAC ON THE OUTSIDE! Big pop for that one! Hoya gets up, looking down at JPac, flips him the double-bird, and starts WAILING on him with lefts and rights, fists and boots! But JPac takes all of it, then starts coming back with his own offense! It�s a brawl on the outside, as the two head over toward the announce table, just SMASHING into each other, no holding back, whipping each other into the ring barriers, into the ring itself, just brutalizing each other! Inside the ring - Amalek and Dudley are still dueling it out - Dudley whips Amalek into the ropes! Amalek comes off - Dudley catches him - flapjack! INTO THE DIAMOND CUTTER! 4D! 4D! NEW CHAMPIONS! Ref in... 1... 2... and at the VERY last minute, Healius breaks up the count - but not by himself, instead whipping Leigh into Dudley! Dudley can�t believe it - but from behind, Amalek cinches in the HERETIC CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! He�s getting choked out - but he grabs the bottom rope! However, MYST manages to get up, and kicks Dudley�s hand off the top rope! Meanwhile, Leigh staggers over to Healius - KICK TO THE GUT! Leigh is doubled over - HEALIUS HAS THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK! He takes him up - ENLIGHTENMENT! The ref comes in, and Myst turns, at the last second, seeing Healius with the cover on Leigh! 1... 2... 3! Myst breaks it up, but too late!
Winners by pinfall, and STILL ICW Tag Team Champions, the Southern Gentlemen!
Myst on top of Healius as the bell rings to end the match, flailing away - but Dudley manages to mule kick Amalek in the groin, not enough to take him out, but enough to break the Heretic crossface chickenwing! Dudley in behind Myst - sinks in the Tazzmission! And he�s laughing while he does it!
Dudley: YOU LIKE IT, MYST? YOU LIKE IT?? YOU LIKE IT!
Myst is in trouble -
AND ADEMA�S �THE WAY YOU LIKE IT� HITS, AND OUT COMES NONZ!!!
HUGE pop for Nonz, who comes running down to the ring, stoge in mouth, baseball bat in hand! Into the ring, and he NAILS Dudley from behind with the bat! The hold�s broken (as is the bat!) - and Myst turns, staredown in mid-ring with Nonz! Myst just flips Nonz the bird, and flips himself over the top rope! Amalek goes over the ropes himself, and the two just stand there for a second, before heading to the back. Nonz still in ring - and three of the combatants are still in the ring! Leigh had rolled to the outside after Myst broke up the pinfall on Healius, even though Leigh was pinned for the trey. He and Dudley both head to the back as well, although Leigh has to restrain Dudley from trying to charge Nonz, broken bat in hand and a smirk on his face, to a big pop from the crowd! So that leaves one person in the ring... Healius! Healius uneasily to his feet... and turns to face Nonz, to a big pop! Staredown in mid-ring! Meanwhile, Hoya and JPac are BRAWLING on the outside! Pac whips Hoya into the ring, nailing him in the back! Comes in to splash him - and Hoya moves out of the way! Pac goes sternum first into the ring - Hoya grabs him from behind, and PLANTS him with a reverse DDT! But JPac is RIGHT back up - but instead of charging Hoya, he sees Healius and Nonz staring down in the middle of the ring! Immediately, he moves past Hoya, into the ring, and goes chest-to-chest with Nonz, blowing Healius off! Hoya�s right behind him, into the ring, and pulls JPac back! But Nonz, seeing Hoya, charges him! And it�s a melee in mid-ring! All four are going at it - and out come ICW referees, to a CHORUS of boos, to break it all up!
Time for the LWN Championship Match. The ring announcer announces that LWN rules apply! LWN rules? WTF?
Ethan Prophet(c) vs. Sylver Morrigan
Sylver came down, to a big pop. She waited for Prophet, who strolled down to the ring, cocky as ever. Much like Y2J Chris Jericho. Of course, Styles compared Prophet to Jericho. And then compared Jericho to Andrew Leigh. And then went on to say how Andrew Leigh > Jericho. He IS the peoples B*tch. Soprano went on to say...
Soprano: Joe-eee, you'se da little b*tch.
Ethan attacked Sylver from behind, as the match begins. He kicks her to the outside, as he then plays to the crowd. The crowd boos, and boos, and boos.
After a minute, Sylver re-enters the ring, and goes to work on Ethan. She knocks Prophet into the corner, and begins to beat the living hell out of him, as he flails around, overexaggerating each punch, chop, and kick, like it was torture. Actually, it probably was.
Ethan slides out to the outside of the ring, and drags Sylver's legs towards the ring post, where he slams her knees into the unforgiving steel.
Prophet grabs a steel chair, and slides it into the ring.
He then goes over to the timekeeper, and grabs his LWN Title belt.
He enters the ring, and prepares to hit Sylver with the title belt, but the ref pulls it away.
Prophet turns around and clobbers the ref, as the ref falls down, completely out. Was it intentional? Or on purpose? We dont know, as Sylver gets up and tackles Prophet, and starts to punch away on him. She gets off of Prophet, and he gets to his knees, and attempts a low blow! It doesnt work though, cause she's a lady. Soprano makes a comment I cannot repeat here, as it will get me killed by all ladies around the world.
Sylver stares at Ethan, like "WTF?" but Prophet pokes her in the eye, before she can do anything about it.
Suddenly, Dave Dudley hobbles on down to the ring, toting a steel chair(minus barbed wire)! Ethan gets up and turns around only to meet Dudley, who's on the ring apron. Dave clobbers Prophet with the chair, right in the head! The chair goes flying off of Prophet's head, and lands in the ring. Dave hops off of the apron and begins to walk back up the ramp.
Dave walks halfway up the ramp, but turns around and runs into the ring, and 4D's Sylver!!! The Dave Dudley Death Drop!!!
He then steps over Prophet, kicking him in the process, and leaves the ring. Prophet gets to his knees, groggy, and he grabs the steel chair, not really knowing where he is. It's at this point, that the ref regains conciousness, and seeing Sylver laying out cold, Prophet holding a chair, he calls for the ring bell!
Prophet looks confused, as the ref explains to him he was DQ'd. Really though he wasnt, if you're following what I'm saying. Prophet looks out towards the crowd, in anger, and then clocks the ref with the chair!
Winner by DQ, Sylver Morrigan
After hitting the ref, Prophet starts to stomp away on the fallen Sylver.
Before you know it, Dave Dudley runs back down, slides into the ring, and 4D's Prophet! The Dave Dudley Death Drop!!!!
Dave grabs Ethan's LWN World HeavyPost Championship over his head, as the fans give off a mixed reaction, as this wacky and suprising and AMAZING show comes to a close.
End Transmission