Post by Lone Wolf on Apr 9, 2011 11:12:56 GMT -6
As the camera comes into focus, THE most sadistic man in the business, Lone Wolf, is shown not in a grave yard or in the rain, but outside of an isolated cottage in some remote wilderness area. Gone is the long hair, replaced with buzz cut, accompanied with a thick beard. Wolf is shown chopping wood, as off camera a hearse pulls up. Seductress steps out of the vehicle and is wearing tight blue jeans and a black halter top. She walks towards Wolf, carrying a large brown envelope and taps him on the shoulder.
SD Went into town and got the mail. Something you might want to look at.
Wolf crashes the ax down quickly and splits the log, and tosses the ax aside. He wipes his brow, and takes off his leather gloves, sticking them in his back pocket. He takes the envelope from Seductress, rips it open and quickly scans it. His eyes narrow and his jaw clenches several times as he finishes reading the document.
SD Well, what does it say?
LW Take this garbage back to wherever it came from. I don't have time for this shit. Matter of fact, mail it to Helter Skelter. He hasn't got anything else to do, he can handle this.
Seductress cocks an eyebrow at Wolf
SD Handle what?
Wolf rolls his eyes and shoves the paper back in the envelope
LW It's a letter from Insane Championship Wrestling. Some shit about a rumble or whatever. Bunch of noodle nuts and has beens. I'm retired.
Seductress perks up
SD ICW? Didn't they go the way of Enron?
LW Several times over. It's not even a real event. Bunch of retreads in a Royal Rumble style match. You know, just grab fifteen people who answer their phones, and drag them down to the ring and whoever isn't out of breath in five minutes is the winner. Fuck that. I don't do sideshow bullshit.
SD Wolf. Why not once more time? I mean.....
Wolf shoves the envelope back in Seductress's hands and walks back towards the cottage. Seductress steps in front of him, blocking his path
SD Things weren't too bad last time, remember?
LW Last time? You mean when Sylver Morrigan sabotaged months of a storyline, because she didn't want to be a heel? Or how about my match with Qpublic in a cage match that got canceled for no reason after a month of preparation, because ICW can't afford to pay its bookers? Or putting a championship belt on a fuckin ring announcer, because he stroked Dave Dangerously's...ego? Fuck it. I don't do rumbles.
SD Do you need your ego stroked, Wolf?
Wolf grins
LW Later. I have other shit to do.
SD Maybe you should talk to ICW and see if there's going to be any real matches in the future?
LW Nope. I am sure this fuckin camera guy will show this tape to the morons in ICW Towers. By the way, how the fuck did he find us here?
SD He was waiting at the post office for me and I told him where to find you. He left before me. Anyways, tell ICW what you want and get rid of him.
Wolf sighs and shakes his head, but turns toward the camera
LW It's been along time, ICW. I got your invitation to your yearly gathering of misfits, noodlenuts, has beens, wash ups, wash outs, and never weres. I'm declining. All that is, is words on paper and a train wreck in the ring. The most sadistic man in the business doesn't do train wrecks.
Wolf pauses
LW Dave Dangerously. You thought it was cute and you thought it was funny with the Most Dangerous Faction. Are you not ashamed of what you have turned into? You answer the bell for a royal rumble match with jobbers? You call yourself the hardcore icon and the heart of ICW. Look at yourself in the mirror, Dave. You're not helping your legacy or ICW's by participating in a random cluster-fuck. Have some pride. Being hardcore and extreme doesn't mean beating down fat ass country hicks, a Theater of Pain retread they found in the mothballs somewhere, or some loser Mexicans. That's bush league. When you're ready for a real match Dave, one that involves talent, work, and actual craft, you let me know. In the meantime, ICW, don't worry. Enjoy your gimmick battle royal. The Wolf willnot be on the prowl for any such garbage as that!
Wolf punches out the camera man as the scene fades to black
SD Went into town and got the mail. Something you might want to look at.
Wolf crashes the ax down quickly and splits the log, and tosses the ax aside. He wipes his brow, and takes off his leather gloves, sticking them in his back pocket. He takes the envelope from Seductress, rips it open and quickly scans it. His eyes narrow and his jaw clenches several times as he finishes reading the document.
SD Well, what does it say?
LW Take this garbage back to wherever it came from. I don't have time for this shit. Matter of fact, mail it to Helter Skelter. He hasn't got anything else to do, he can handle this.
Seductress cocks an eyebrow at Wolf
SD Handle what?
Wolf rolls his eyes and shoves the paper back in the envelope
LW It's a letter from Insane Championship Wrestling. Some shit about a rumble or whatever. Bunch of noodle nuts and has beens. I'm retired.
Seductress perks up
SD ICW? Didn't they go the way of Enron?
LW Several times over. It's not even a real event. Bunch of retreads in a Royal Rumble style match. You know, just grab fifteen people who answer their phones, and drag them down to the ring and whoever isn't out of breath in five minutes is the winner. Fuck that. I don't do sideshow bullshit.
SD Wolf. Why not once more time? I mean.....
Wolf shoves the envelope back in Seductress's hands and walks back towards the cottage. Seductress steps in front of him, blocking his path
SD Things weren't too bad last time, remember?
LW Last time? You mean when Sylver Morrigan sabotaged months of a storyline, because she didn't want to be a heel? Or how about my match with Qpublic in a cage match that got canceled for no reason after a month of preparation, because ICW can't afford to pay its bookers? Or putting a championship belt on a fuckin ring announcer, because he stroked Dave Dangerously's...ego? Fuck it. I don't do rumbles.
SD Do you need your ego stroked, Wolf?
Wolf grins
LW Later. I have other shit to do.
SD Maybe you should talk to ICW and see if there's going to be any real matches in the future?
LW Nope. I am sure this fuckin camera guy will show this tape to the morons in ICW Towers. By the way, how the fuck did he find us here?
SD He was waiting at the post office for me and I told him where to find you. He left before me. Anyways, tell ICW what you want and get rid of him.
Wolf sighs and shakes his head, but turns toward the camera
LW It's been along time, ICW. I got your invitation to your yearly gathering of misfits, noodlenuts, has beens, wash ups, wash outs, and never weres. I'm declining. All that is, is words on paper and a train wreck in the ring. The most sadistic man in the business doesn't do train wrecks.
Wolf pauses
LW Dave Dangerously. You thought it was cute and you thought it was funny with the Most Dangerous Faction. Are you not ashamed of what you have turned into? You answer the bell for a royal rumble match with jobbers? You call yourself the hardcore icon and the heart of ICW. Look at yourself in the mirror, Dave. You're not helping your legacy or ICW's by participating in a random cluster-fuck. Have some pride. Being hardcore and extreme doesn't mean beating down fat ass country hicks, a Theater of Pain retread they found in the mothballs somewhere, or some loser Mexicans. That's bush league. When you're ready for a real match Dave, one that involves talent, work, and actual craft, you let me know. In the meantime, ICW, don't worry. Enjoy your gimmick battle royal. The Wolf willnot be on the prowl for any such garbage as that!
Wolf punches out the camera man as the scene fades to black