Post by The Ox on Apr 10, 2011 21:27:40 GMT -6
The Ox presses the peddle to the floor making his Corvette's engine hum as he speeds down Interstate 70 through central Ohio. The needle on the spedometer starts to approach 100 but he doesnt notice. Anger still is running coursing through him.
The Ox: How could those two idiots mistake me for some fucking criminal. Its only been a few years. I bet people will still know who Charlie Sheen is in 5 years.
Night has fallen and little traffic is on this stretch of highway. The car zooms along, easily able to handle the speed being asked of it. Coming up on car in front of him, Ox quickly swerves into the passing lane, and passes the small Honda as if it were standing still. Ox swerves back into the right lane and continues to accelerate, as if trying to take out all his agreession on the gas pedel of the car.
The Ox: How have I allowed myself to become such a fricken has been? Where the hell has my mind been the last few years? How could I have lost my focus so much?
Not realizing he has also lost focus on his surroundings, the sound of a siren behind him brings him back to reality. A look in the rearview mirror shows red and blue lights behind him.
The Ox: Damn it!
He lifts his foot off the gas and starts to slow the car as he pulls on to the shoulder. The car comes to a stop. Ox slumps in his seat with his hands on the steering wheel. The Ohio state trooper takes his time getting out of the cruiser.
The officer finally emerges from his vehicle. A tall lanky man, looking about fifty-ish. He slowly approaches the vehicle, his right hand close to his weapon.
Officer Stewart: License and registration please sir.
The Ox: Before I do that officer. Do you have any idea who I am?
Officer Stewart: I couldnt care less who in the sam hell you are son. You were going one-hundred and six in a sixty-five. Your ass is gettin' a ticket.
The Ox: Oh! No officer. You dont understand. Im not trying to get out of the ticket. I just wanted to know if you knew who I was.
Officer Stewart: Well.. Im guessing you're The Ox.
The Ox: smilingYeah! So what match or highlight do you remember me from?
Officer Stewart: What the sam hell you talkin bout son? I assumed you were called Ox because you're license plate is "Tango-Henry-Echo-Ocean-Xray" which spells The Ox. Now can I see you're license and registration please.
The Ox grumbles and slumps back in his seat as he hands the officer his information. The cop walks back to his car to fill out the paperwork. Ox sits there steaming.
The Ox: This just hasnt been my day. Leaving behind things I cared about in Illinois. Getting mistaken as a convict and then insulted by a couple of idiots. Now pulled over for speeding. At least he didnt think I was some criminal.
The officer re-emerges from his cruiser and comes back up to the window of the car. He hands Ox his documents back.
Officer Stewart: Here is your information son. And here is your ticket. The total cost of your fine is $437. That includes all fines and costs. If you had been going just a bit faster, you would have automatically lost your license. I would advise you to make sure you control your speed while you go through this.
The Ox gives the officer a funny look.
The Ox: Go through what exactly?
Officer Stewart: Cmon son, Ive seen it before. Fast fancy car. Man getting older. Everyone goes through a midlife crises. I just wish I could have afforded something like this when I hit mine.
The Ox pauses before replying. He feels anger rising inside him again, but knows he doesnt need to end up spending the night in jail.
The Ox: You think Im going through a mid life crises? And you compare yourself to me?
He chuckles a sarcastic chuckle
The Ox: Ill have you know that Ive had this car for ten years. I bought it new. With cash. Just like I could buy your entire life right now with cash. The reason you couldnt afford this or anything else like it is because you decided to be a goody two shoes in dress blues. My guess is, you had a mid life crises because you looked at your life and you seen you were stuck with some fat ass wife and your snot nosed kids and pathetic old dog and needed to feel you could escape.
He pauses for a second before he continues his verbal barrage on the officer.
The Ox: I dont need to have a mid life crises. I may be a bit older but Im still just as damn good as I once was. And im about to prove it. Its time the world remembers who The Ox is. Its time for me to start showing the brass balls I was once known for. And if I have to use a second rate federation like ICW to do that, then thats what I will do.
The officer just listens as Ox finishes his speel. When hes finally done, Officer Stewart stands there for a minute.
Officer Stewart: Are you quite done, son?
Ox nods
Officer Stewart: Well.. I dont know what in the sam hell you were talking about there most of the time.. but let me say this. Number one. Allen Iverson does much better traffic stop rants than you ever will. And Number two.. if you show your "brass balls" around here, Ill need to take you in for indecent exposure. Now get the hell out of my juridiction before I decide I need to take you in for a full tox screen because you son have to be messed up on something.
The Officer walks back toward his car. Ox puts his window up and pulls back out on the highway. He reaches over and grabs the paper that is laying underneath the bag that still holds his uneaten sandwich.
With one eye on the road and one on the paper, he pulls out his motorola razr and punches in the number on the letter head.
A couple seconds later the voicemail for Dave Dangerously clicks on. Finally the tone.. well.. tones..
The Ox: YO Dave. Stop molesting those midgets and listen up. The Ox is in for the rumble. Make sure the wrestling world knows Im coming back. And if ICW actually is able to survive this time.. you can thank me later.
Ox shuts the phone and tosses it on the passenger seat. He looks in the rearview, sees no cops, and pushes the gas pedal down again.
The Ox: It seems everyone forgot about The Ox. And those that do know me seem to think im worth nothing. Im going to show everyone that forgetting about me or discounting me is a mistake. Those that forgot are gonna get a wake up call. Those that gave up on me... are gonna get a surprise!.
The Ox pushes the gas down further as "Forgot about Dre" by Eminem blares from the stereo.
The Ox: How could those two idiots mistake me for some fucking criminal. Its only been a few years. I bet people will still know who Charlie Sheen is in 5 years.
Night has fallen and little traffic is on this stretch of highway. The car zooms along, easily able to handle the speed being asked of it. Coming up on car in front of him, Ox quickly swerves into the passing lane, and passes the small Honda as if it were standing still. Ox swerves back into the right lane and continues to accelerate, as if trying to take out all his agreession on the gas pedel of the car.
The Ox: How have I allowed myself to become such a fricken has been? Where the hell has my mind been the last few years? How could I have lost my focus so much?
Not realizing he has also lost focus on his surroundings, the sound of a siren behind him brings him back to reality. A look in the rearview mirror shows red and blue lights behind him.
The Ox: Damn it!
He lifts his foot off the gas and starts to slow the car as he pulls on to the shoulder. The car comes to a stop. Ox slumps in his seat with his hands on the steering wheel. The Ohio state trooper takes his time getting out of the cruiser.
The officer finally emerges from his vehicle. A tall lanky man, looking about fifty-ish. He slowly approaches the vehicle, his right hand close to his weapon.
Officer Stewart: License and registration please sir.
The Ox: Before I do that officer. Do you have any idea who I am?
Officer Stewart: I couldnt care less who in the sam hell you are son. You were going one-hundred and six in a sixty-five. Your ass is gettin' a ticket.
The Ox: Oh! No officer. You dont understand. Im not trying to get out of the ticket. I just wanted to know if you knew who I was.
Officer Stewart: Well.. Im guessing you're The Ox.
The Ox: smilingYeah! So what match or highlight do you remember me from?
Officer Stewart: What the sam hell you talkin bout son? I assumed you were called Ox because you're license plate is "Tango-Henry-Echo-Ocean-Xray" which spells The Ox. Now can I see you're license and registration please.
The Ox grumbles and slumps back in his seat as he hands the officer his information. The cop walks back to his car to fill out the paperwork. Ox sits there steaming.
The Ox: This just hasnt been my day. Leaving behind things I cared about in Illinois. Getting mistaken as a convict and then insulted by a couple of idiots. Now pulled over for speeding. At least he didnt think I was some criminal.
The officer re-emerges from his cruiser and comes back up to the window of the car. He hands Ox his documents back.
Officer Stewart: Here is your information son. And here is your ticket. The total cost of your fine is $437. That includes all fines and costs. If you had been going just a bit faster, you would have automatically lost your license. I would advise you to make sure you control your speed while you go through this.
The Ox gives the officer a funny look.
The Ox: Go through what exactly?
Officer Stewart: Cmon son, Ive seen it before. Fast fancy car. Man getting older. Everyone goes through a midlife crises. I just wish I could have afforded something like this when I hit mine.
The Ox pauses before replying. He feels anger rising inside him again, but knows he doesnt need to end up spending the night in jail.
The Ox: You think Im going through a mid life crises? And you compare yourself to me?
He chuckles a sarcastic chuckle
The Ox: Ill have you know that Ive had this car for ten years. I bought it new. With cash. Just like I could buy your entire life right now with cash. The reason you couldnt afford this or anything else like it is because you decided to be a goody two shoes in dress blues. My guess is, you had a mid life crises because you looked at your life and you seen you were stuck with some fat ass wife and your snot nosed kids and pathetic old dog and needed to feel you could escape.
He pauses for a second before he continues his verbal barrage on the officer.
The Ox: I dont need to have a mid life crises. I may be a bit older but Im still just as damn good as I once was. And im about to prove it. Its time the world remembers who The Ox is. Its time for me to start showing the brass balls I was once known for. And if I have to use a second rate federation like ICW to do that, then thats what I will do.
The officer just listens as Ox finishes his speel. When hes finally done, Officer Stewart stands there for a minute.
Officer Stewart: Are you quite done, son?
Ox nods
Officer Stewart: Well.. I dont know what in the sam hell you were talking about there most of the time.. but let me say this. Number one. Allen Iverson does much better traffic stop rants than you ever will. And Number two.. if you show your "brass balls" around here, Ill need to take you in for indecent exposure. Now get the hell out of my juridiction before I decide I need to take you in for a full tox screen because you son have to be messed up on something.
The Officer walks back toward his car. Ox puts his window up and pulls back out on the highway. He reaches over and grabs the paper that is laying underneath the bag that still holds his uneaten sandwich.
With one eye on the road and one on the paper, he pulls out his motorola razr and punches in the number on the letter head.
A couple seconds later the voicemail for Dave Dangerously clicks on. Finally the tone.. well.. tones..
The Ox: YO Dave. Stop molesting those midgets and listen up. The Ox is in for the rumble. Make sure the wrestling world knows Im coming back. And if ICW actually is able to survive this time.. you can thank me later.
Ox shuts the phone and tosses it on the passenger seat. He looks in the rearview, sees no cops, and pushes the gas pedal down again.
The Ox: It seems everyone forgot about The Ox. And those that do know me seem to think im worth nothing. Im going to show everyone that forgetting about me or discounting me is a mistake. Those that forgot are gonna get a wake up call. Those that gave up on me... are gonna get a surprise!.
The Ox pushes the gas down further as "Forgot about Dre" by Eminem blares from the stereo.