Post by Dave Dangerously on Apr 16, 2011 9:45:23 GMT -6
Philadelphia. Pennsylvania.
The city where hardcore was made.
The city that revolutionized wrestling, as we know it.
In a small bingo hall.
On the edge of a small corner.
At the end of a small street.
The ICW Arena.
In it's place now, stands a live-culture frozen yogurt shop. "Blue Waffles", it's called. You can get a delicious treat there, weighed by the pound.
Pralines. Coconut. Sprinkles. Cereal pieces. Granola. White chocolate chips.
Fresh fruit. Oreo pieces. Candied cherries. M&M's.
And the topper? Cupcake flavored shell.
It all adds up to a sugary delight, perfect for the bellies of the hungry, bored, and generally malaise.
Sweet treats for cancerous cavity of societies' tooth.
Such is what the ICW has been reduced to. In the back part of the former arena? A coffee shop. Not a Starbucks, mind you, but an imitator. Something that will be gone in three weeks, because, let's face it, although the norwegian chick that works there is extremely hot, and her tits are ripe and shiny, and she has dark hair and a chest tattoo of a sacred heart, and tight jeans that hug her fat ass but still show a tip of buttcrack-
-yeah, you'd hit it -
- the coffee tastes terrible. And we all know the coffee is really what we want, we don't care if it's some fat cat lady who shops the photography section at Borders, or if it's a skeevy guy with a crappy beard and a dumb hat with long hair falling out the back, who wears a gray or dark green hoodie with grease stains on it, and old converse that were bought in 1994 selling the coffee to you, we want the fucking coffee.
Or at least a delicious shaken iced black tea with classic syrup sweetner.
It's all about serving the public. Meeting the public's needs, but not only that...the public's demand.
Demand was just not in for ICW, and the arena closed down.
The ICW board of executives sold the ICW arena to pay off the debt it still owed to it's wrestlers.
And that was it.
The last match in history was Dave Dangerously vs. The Gladiator vs. Genesis. A match that was for the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.
The stakes were high. Three former champions, battling to lay claim to the top wrestling prize in the business.
And yet it was the lowest rated title match in ICW history.
Yet, not as lowly rated as Dave Dudley vs Amalek - you know, the one where Dudley got his throat cut by Amalek in the match? I mean, Dave Dudley, to lose, had to have his THROAT CUT. HE COULDN'T LOSE ANY OTHER WAY. I MEAN, COME ON. THAT'S HOW BADASS HE WAS IN EWA.
But, you know, whatever. Who even wrote that match? Hoyakillah? Healius?
They're not even around any more.
Or are they?
The ICW arena, once a landmark venue, now dust. A mockery. Because of demand.
Demand.
The Most Dangerous Man in Wrestling, Today,
The Hardcore Icon,
The greatest wrestler in the LWN-related history of wrestling.
Dave Dangerously,
is standing on the street in front of the former ICW arena, as the cameras pick up his visage. He is wearing all black, and blends in with the dark wet night. It's myst in the air, and a bit of rain sprinkles on and off of the camera. Dangerously does not look at the camera, as he begins to speak.
Dave Dangerously: Demand. It's what drives us to do what we do. We don't do it for the money. Well, not all of us. We don't do it for the fame. Well, not all of us. We don't even do it for the hell of it. We do it for the respect. We do it for the respect we get from the fans. We do it for the hate we get from the fans. We do it for you.
As Dangerously exhales, his breath can be seen in the cold night.
Dave Dangerously: Demand. It's brought us back here today. But it's a different rodeo, this time. Gone are the J.J. McDerricks. Gone are the ScottiePP7's, the Babydoll Bradleys, The Healiuses and The Evolutions.
Gone are the XII, the Southern Gentlemen, the EMMF.
As of right now, there is only one thing going strong in wrestling, today.
And it's because of demand.
ICW. They wanted it, so here we are today. Here I am today. And it's the dawn of a new day.
I've had a lot of success in this wrestling business, especially for someone who is constantly reinventing himself. You know, today is no different. The only thing you need to know is...
Dangerous.
Dave Dangerously looks up at the camera, with wide eyes.
Dave Dangerously: Back to basics, back to the old days. Back to beating a guy's ass just for looking at him...back to beating a woman's ass for not looking at him.
Because there's been something missing from ICW these last few years, and it's simple:
Dave Dangerously. On top. As ICW World heavyweight champion.
And I'm going to go through the list of them all, one by one, piece by piece.
It's time I reclaim my glory.
I've held 35 wrestling championships in my career. That's more than anyone else.
I'm a 6 time ICW World Heavyweight champion.
That's the most, ever.
But you know, they say the lucky number is 7. And a seventh ICW World Heavyweight Championship would be the most important, ever.
Because it's about proving to myself that I still can...
It's about proving to myself that I still DESERVE to be on top.
And it's about proving to the world that I DEMAND the respect as the greatest wrestler in the world.
It's all about demand, ICW.
The ICW-ites in the rumble, they are all peripheral. I will go through them one-by-one.
And the ICW World Champ? Harrison? Healius' former errand boy?
I've beaten him before, and I'll beat him again.
Just like anyone else who gets in my way.
X-Dude? The Ox? He's in way over his head. ICW crushed EFWO in the past, I'll do it again.
Lone Wolf? You going to bark all day, little doggy? Or are you going to bite?
I say, bring it on, ICW.
Allow myself to test my might.
Because it's the old days.
The all or nothing days.
The days of dangerous. It's back to basics, ICW. Because we demanded it.
Lou E. Dangerously walks onto the camera.
Lou E. Dangerously: TESTIFY.
Dave Dangerously: ICW will know, that I'm the most dangerous man in wrestling, today.
ICW will know, that I'm The Hardcore Icon.
ICW WILL KNOW, that I'm the best there is at what I do.
ICW is back, because you demanded it...
And if you want blood?
You got it.
The scene ends, as the camera fades to black.
The city where hardcore was made.
The city that revolutionized wrestling, as we know it.
In a small bingo hall.
On the edge of a small corner.
At the end of a small street.
The ICW Arena.
In it's place now, stands a live-culture frozen yogurt shop. "Blue Waffles", it's called. You can get a delicious treat there, weighed by the pound.
Pralines. Coconut. Sprinkles. Cereal pieces. Granola. White chocolate chips.
Fresh fruit. Oreo pieces. Candied cherries. M&M's.
And the topper? Cupcake flavored shell.
It all adds up to a sugary delight, perfect for the bellies of the hungry, bored, and generally malaise.
Sweet treats for cancerous cavity of societies' tooth.
Such is what the ICW has been reduced to. In the back part of the former arena? A coffee shop. Not a Starbucks, mind you, but an imitator. Something that will be gone in three weeks, because, let's face it, although the norwegian chick that works there is extremely hot, and her tits are ripe and shiny, and she has dark hair and a chest tattoo of a sacred heart, and tight jeans that hug her fat ass but still show a tip of buttcrack-
-yeah, you'd hit it -
- the coffee tastes terrible. And we all know the coffee is really what we want, we don't care if it's some fat cat lady who shops the photography section at Borders, or if it's a skeevy guy with a crappy beard and a dumb hat with long hair falling out the back, who wears a gray or dark green hoodie with grease stains on it, and old converse that were bought in 1994 selling the coffee to you, we want the fucking coffee.
Or at least a delicious shaken iced black tea with classic syrup sweetner.
It's all about serving the public. Meeting the public's needs, but not only that...the public's demand.
Demand was just not in for ICW, and the arena closed down.
The ICW board of executives sold the ICW arena to pay off the debt it still owed to it's wrestlers.
And that was it.
The last match in history was Dave Dangerously vs. The Gladiator vs. Genesis. A match that was for the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.
The stakes were high. Three former champions, battling to lay claim to the top wrestling prize in the business.
And yet it was the lowest rated title match in ICW history.
Yet, not as lowly rated as Dave Dudley vs Amalek - you know, the one where Dudley got his throat cut by Amalek in the match? I mean, Dave Dudley, to lose, had to have his THROAT CUT. HE COULDN'T LOSE ANY OTHER WAY. I MEAN, COME ON. THAT'S HOW BADASS HE WAS IN EWA.
But, you know, whatever. Who even wrote that match? Hoyakillah? Healius?
They're not even around any more.
Or are they?
The ICW arena, once a landmark venue, now dust. A mockery. Because of demand.
Demand.
The Most Dangerous Man in Wrestling, Today,
The Hardcore Icon,
The greatest wrestler in the LWN-related history of wrestling.
Dave Dangerously,
is standing on the street in front of the former ICW arena, as the cameras pick up his visage. He is wearing all black, and blends in with the dark wet night. It's myst in the air, and a bit of rain sprinkles on and off of the camera. Dangerously does not look at the camera, as he begins to speak.
Dave Dangerously: Demand. It's what drives us to do what we do. We don't do it for the money. Well, not all of us. We don't do it for the fame. Well, not all of us. We don't even do it for the hell of it. We do it for the respect. We do it for the respect we get from the fans. We do it for the hate we get from the fans. We do it for you.
As Dangerously exhales, his breath can be seen in the cold night.
Dave Dangerously: Demand. It's brought us back here today. But it's a different rodeo, this time. Gone are the J.J. McDerricks. Gone are the ScottiePP7's, the Babydoll Bradleys, The Healiuses and The Evolutions.
Gone are the XII, the Southern Gentlemen, the EMMF.
As of right now, there is only one thing going strong in wrestling, today.
And it's because of demand.
ICW. They wanted it, so here we are today. Here I am today. And it's the dawn of a new day.
I've had a lot of success in this wrestling business, especially for someone who is constantly reinventing himself. You know, today is no different. The only thing you need to know is...
Dangerous.
Dave Dangerously looks up at the camera, with wide eyes.
Dave Dangerously: Back to basics, back to the old days. Back to beating a guy's ass just for looking at him...back to beating a woman's ass for not looking at him.
Because there's been something missing from ICW these last few years, and it's simple:
Dave Dangerously. On top. As ICW World heavyweight champion.
And I'm going to go through the list of them all, one by one, piece by piece.
It's time I reclaim my glory.
I've held 35 wrestling championships in my career. That's more than anyone else.
I'm a 6 time ICW World Heavyweight champion.
That's the most, ever.
But you know, they say the lucky number is 7. And a seventh ICW World Heavyweight Championship would be the most important, ever.
Because it's about proving to myself that I still can...
It's about proving to myself that I still DESERVE to be on top.
And it's about proving to the world that I DEMAND the respect as the greatest wrestler in the world.
It's all about demand, ICW.
The ICW-ites in the rumble, they are all peripheral. I will go through them one-by-one.
And the ICW World Champ? Harrison? Healius' former errand boy?
I've beaten him before, and I'll beat him again.
Just like anyone else who gets in my way.
X-Dude? The Ox? He's in way over his head. ICW crushed EFWO in the past, I'll do it again.
Lone Wolf? You going to bark all day, little doggy? Or are you going to bite?
I say, bring it on, ICW.
Allow myself to test my might.
Because it's the old days.
The all or nothing days.
The days of dangerous. It's back to basics, ICW. Because we demanded it.
Lou E. Dangerously walks onto the camera.
Lou E. Dangerously: TESTIFY.
Dave Dangerously: ICW will know, that I'm the most dangerous man in wrestling, today.
ICW will know, that I'm The Hardcore Icon.
ICW WILL KNOW, that I'm the best there is at what I do.
ICW is back, because you demanded it...
And if you want blood?
You got it.
The scene ends, as the camera fades to black.