Post by Dave Dangerously on Mar 15, 2013 22:35:18 GMT -6
JR: Enlightening. Well folks, this is the moment no one's been waiting for. It's time for, well, the actual first tag team match at an ICW PPV that's actually been WRITTEN!
King: Man, that's incredible. That's like, never happened!
Vitale: Yeah baby, we're talking THREE PEET, THREE PEET, THREE PEET, SWISH!
JR: Well, there you can see above the ring, hanging, are the ICW World Tag Team Championship belts...the last team to hold the belts were Hoyakillah and Healius, now lowly members of our ICW announce team crew.
King: Thats right, and since those two nobodies didnt defend the belts, ICW owner Dave Dudley just made himself the tag team champions, and has been champions ever since!
Vitale: Until now, baby! Because Big Daddy D is going to bring the roof down here in Cheesesteak country.
JR: Totally right, Dick. Now folks, this is a 4 team Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for the tag team titles. There are no rules, and there will be plenty of tables, ladders and chairs to use here at ringside. Now, the object is to climb the ladder and retrieve BOTH tag team titles. Then and ONLY then, will we have a winner and NEW tag team champions.
ICW Tag Team Championship
TLC: Los Conquistadors
vs.
Orion/Sylver Morrigan
vs.
Jade/Heartbreak Chick
vs.
Ice/Masked Warrior
The bell sounds, as The Ice makes his way out to the ring, with no music. The fans arent sure whether or not to cheer, or boo, as the Ice casually walks down the ramp, and into the ring. He raises his hands up in the air, as the crowd gives a slight cheer.
"The Halloween Theme" hits, and out comes The Masked Warrior, to a chorus of TEE OH PEE chants.
The Warrior comes down to the ring, as The Ice grabs a mic...
The Ice: Hey, Warrior, you'd better have your act together tonight, because if you get in my way at all during this match, I might have to just KICK YOUR ICE!
The crowd cheers, as Masked Warrior pulls a mic out of thin air. Thin air? Yeah, it's ICW.
The One True Warrior- ::thunder and lightning fill the arena, as the master of the T.O.P. begins to speak:: You know something, Ice, you and your friend, Dude Hate have been a constant thorn in my affairs to conquer the world of the E.F.W.O. and the E.W.A. and now the I.C.W. And tonight we're being teamed up to fight for the I.C.W. tag team titles. Well tonight the power of the T.O.P. will be on my side, and we'll be victorious only in the sake of gaining more strength for the war on my enemies. But tonight if you dont help us to win the I.C.W. tag team titles then you, my friend will become one of those enemies. ::the thunder and lightning grow even stronger, as The One True Warrior, the Masked Warrior enters the ring::
King: How the hell does he talk like that?
JR: It's in his contract.
Warrior and Ice give each other dirty looks in the ring, as "La Bamba" by Richie Valens hits the PA, and out come Los Conquistadors!
They comedically walk out to the ring as the fans boo. They slide into the ring, and climb the turnbuckles and wave to the fans.
JR: Technically, Los Conquistadors have the advantage here because they are the only REAL tag team here in ICW.
Vitale: CBS Sports and the NCAA, A REAL TAG TEAM BABY! Eat DiGiornio Pizza. It's not delivery, its AWESOME BABY!
"Sick Of Life" by Godsmack hits, and out comes Sylver Morrigan to a nice pop, and a nice reaction from the Lesbian audience here in ICW, for some reason.
She waits at the bottom of the ramp, as...
"We Know Who Our Enemies Are" by Mewithoutyou hits, and out comes Orion to a nice reaction, considering it's Orion.
Sylver and Orion both stop to look at each other, they look pretty focused, yet their minds seem elsewhere...
they slide into the ring, and begin the trash talking.
Meanwhile, Los Conquistadors are on the outside, talking to each other in Espanol.
Vitale: Did you hear what Conquistador Uno said? He said this match is going to be Awesome with a capital A BABY!!
JR: Actually, if I know my Spanish, I think he said he'd like to suckle on that young lady's posterior.
King: Come on, it's Sylver! Who hasnt? I mean wouldnt. Who wouldnt. Wouldnt.
Next, "Puritania" by Dimmu Borgir hits, and out comes Jade, to a bunch of oohs, and ahhs from the male audience. Supposedly, she's hot. But then again, its the internet. No one is hot on the internet. What did I just say? I forgot, Dave Dudley is hot, especially on the internet. And dont you forget it, slapdick.
She enters the ring, and begins to get in everyones face, cuz shes a PSYCHO BITCH!!! RIGHT ON MOTHER FUCKERS BITCH ASS @#%$ @#%$ ASS!
Then, "Que Pasa Contigo" which, is Spanish for "What's Up, Contigo" hits, and out comes The Heartbreak Chick, Shawna Michaels, to a great reaction from the over 30, fat and ugly demographic. Not to say she's not attractive, but her experience with such earns her a reputation.
As she gets to the ring, she slides in a chair, a ladder, and a table...HOLY @#%$, IT'S ON!!
DING, DING-A-LING
The match is underway, as The Conquistadors immediately go after Orion, and the 3 lovely ladies are involved in a 3 way.
...we now pause to think about that one.
Still thinking.
Stiiiiiiiiill thinking.
Almost done thinking.
ALMOST DONE,
ALMOST...DONE....
AHHHHH, there we go.
Meanwhile, The Ice and Masked Warrior start to set up the table.
Warrior grabs Conquistador Dos, and drags him into a corner, as MW and Ice begin to pummel him.
Orion manages to fight off Uno enough to go over and make the basic 2 on 1 attack on his partner an even 2 on 2 fight, as Orion takes on HBC as Jade and Sylver continue to go at it.
JR: Well, this match has turned into an immediate brawl...for it all.
Vitale: It's a BFIA, baby! Look at all of these guys in the ring, in ICW country, this is a diaper dandy baby, they're just fresh faced smooth bottomed rooks, totally awesome baby!
JR: Not really, most of them have wrestled in ICW before. Masked Warrior is like 45, also.
King: Haha, what a loser.
JR: If anyone reads this actual line, let me know. My guess, is that no one will read it. I'm betting 10 fake dollars that that is the case.
Back to the action, The Ice and MW in the corner are setting up Dos for a powerbomb through the table from the turnbuckle, Buh Buh style.
The Ice helps Dos up onto MW's powerbomb position, and then flips to the outside of the ring to get ready another table.
Meanwhile, Uno gets up. Dos flips out of the powerbomb, as Uno runs into the corner, jumping up onto the table, jumping off of the table, and landing on MW with a DDT like headlock.
MW isnt going down, though, as he holds onto the ropes. Uno struggles, but then Dos PUNCHES MW IN THE BALLS AS HE SITS ON THE TURNBUCKLE, AND UNO DDTS MASKED WARRIOR THROUGH THE TABLE!
The fans go...NUTS!
JR: Good lord, that was the first broken table of the night!
Vitale: That new recruit from down south sure is a PTPer baby!
Uno and Dos both then climb to the outside, to attack Ice.
In the ring, Orion whips HBC into the ropes, and catches her with a Mewdan Clutch! HBC manages to flip up and over out of it, and then attempts to kick Orion in the gut. Orion catches her foot, and she counters with an enziguri kick right to the side of Orion's head!
She then picks up the ladder that's laying on one side of the ring, under the ropes, and sets it up in the middle of the ring.
She doesnt climb it yet, though, as she goes over to Jade's direction and helps her against Sylver.
Jade and HBC both begin to trade punches on Sylver, but Sylver counters with the VAGINAL CLAW!
King: Wait...are you sure that move is supposed to HURT?
JR: Well, for first timers, maybe.
Sylver stands up while still applying the move, as HBC and Jade sell the move very poorly, as I obviously stated before the move probably wouldnt cause much damage, but then again maybe they're squirming out of enjoyment, those deviant girls, them.
Sylver releases the hold, and then delivers a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
She then sticks her hands up to her nose and smells, and gets a disgusted look on her face.
King: Maybe somebody's not springtime fresh tonight?
Vitale: I'll tell you who's fresh, baby, those Kennn-tucky Wildcats HOOYAH they're fresh all right, AND ONE!
Dick Vitale makes no sense, as we cut to outside where Los Conquistadors are beating down The Ice. They drape him over the guard rail, as Uno hops onto the apron and delivers an asai moonsault onto Ice. Dos tries to do the same, but Sylver clotheslines him off the apron, before he can do so.
Masked Warrior gets up, and starts to get into a fist fight with Sylver. The two trade moves back and forth before MW delivers a big boot to Sylver's ravishing face. Orion then gets up, himself, and clotheslines he AND MW over the top rope to the floor.
Conquistador Uno climbs into the ring and charges Sylver, but instead, Sylver ducks and Uno jumps into HBC and Jade, hitting them both with a splash. He charges Sylver once again, sliding between her legs and hits Sylver with a reverse victory roll bridge, but instead of putting it into a pin, he continues to roll all the way to the ropes, rolling Sylver to the outside!
Uno slides out, and sets up a table on the outside. He positions Sylver onto the table, and climbs back into the ring.
HBC, seeing an opportunity, goes to Uno who is perched on the turnbuckle, facing the outside, as he prepares to do a top rope move on Sylver. She climbs the turnbuckle with him, pounds on him a little, and then SUPLEXES HIM FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH SYLVER THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
meanwhile, The Ice rolls Dos back into the ring...
JR: Good LORD, did you see that?
King: All three of them are beaten down, right in front of us!
Vitale: Here's where I would say THAT WAS AWESOME, BABY! But, that's kinda expected. So, instead...THAT WAS AWESOME, BABY! I'll admit it, my vocabulary is limited.
The Ice stomps Dos, as he begins to climb the ladder, trying to get the tag gold.
Jade sees this, and immediately pushes the ladder over! The Ice goes spilling to the mat, and the ladder lands on Dos.
Jade tells the crowd that she's going to win the belts, when from behind, Masked Warrior enters the ring and CLOBBERS HER WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!
Masked Warrior celebrates, as HBC enters with her own chair, and CLOBBERS MW WITH THE CHAIR!!!
HBC slams down the chair and raises her hands in victory, as THE ICE grabs a fallen chair and CLOBBERS HBC WITH THE CHAIR!
The Ice celebrates.
JR: Good lord, look at this action!
The Ice turns around and meets DOS who CLOBBERS ICE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!
Just as soon as Dos hits the Ice with the weapon, Sylver sneaks in and CLOBBERS DOS WITH THE CHAIR IN THE FACE!
Before we can speak, UNO HITS SYLVER WITH THE CHAIR!
Orion, from the outside, slides into the ring with a chair of his own and DESTROYS UNO WITH THE CHAIR!!!!
Orion celebrates being the last one standing in the ring, as he plays to the crowd, holding the chair up.
King: AHHH! Everyone is down but Orion! Seize the opportunity, you idiot!
JR: Good advice King, after all of that chairshot action, looks like Orion is setting up the ladder!
Vitale: He's on the road to the Final Four, baby!
As Orion climbs the ladder slowly...
THE HARDCORE ICON DAVE DUDLEY runs in unannounced!
JR: What the HELL?
Dudley, weilding a steel chair wrapped in barbed wire, pulls Orion off of the ladder, and SMITES ORION WITH THE BARBED WIRE STEEL CHAIR IN THE FACE, IMMEDIATELY BUSTING HIM OPEN!!!
Dudley then holds his chair up and proclaims to the crowd, "Who's the man?
He then leaves the ringside area, just as fast as he came.
JR: What in GODS name is going on?
King: That rat bastard Dudley is just upset he lost his match here tonight! He must figure since this is his last show in control he can do whatever he wants! He already beat down Fister McCarl, after the match!
JR: Well I cant believe this! Everyone is down, in the ring!
Vitale: We need a TO baby, a TO!
Everyone is down and out. FA RILL!
JR: Well...since nothing is happening...uh...wait, it looks like someone has accepted Myst's challenge!!!
Camera cuts to the backstage area, to show Myst talking to someone off camera.
Myst: SO YOU WANT TO FIGHT, DO YOU? YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? COME ON, @#%$ LET'S GET THIS BAD BOY ON!
the camera pans over to show...
A brick wall.
The referee is there, too.
Special challenge:
Myst vs. A Brick Wall
JR: I cant believe this. We've sank to new lows.
Ding, ding
The bell sounds, and Myst starts to punch away at the brick wall.
No affect, so he tries to kick it.
Myst: AHH, MY FUCKIN PINKY TOE! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!
Myst grabs a wooden chair and throws it at the wall. It shatters.
He throws more things at the wall, and they bounce off.
The wall remains, unrelentless.
Myst: AHHH! I CANT BELIEVE YOU! WHY WONT YOU LET ME BEAT YOU?
Myst resumes punching the wall.
Myst: PUT UP YOUR DUKES, YOU FILTHY BASTERD!
The wall has no dukes, and Myst finds that out as he punches it some more.
He continues to punch, until he gets tired and slumps up against the wall, clawing at it trying to get up.
JR: Looks like the wall is getting the best of Myst, here.
Myst gets up and backs up away from the wall.
Myst: Ugh...Argh...Ahhhh....ARGH.....GLARG!!! YOU...MAKE...ME...SO...ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!
Myst charges head first with a GORE, GORE, GORE! INTO THE BRICK WALL!
Yeah, but that wasnt smart. Myst's head goes THUD into the wall, and he falls flat on his back.
JR: Good LORD!
King: For once, I'm at a loss for words.
Vitale: Not me, baby....uh...baby.
Myst is out cold, as the referee begins to count him out.
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...
7...
8...
9...
10!!!
"Brick wall, WINNER!" the ref says.
Winner by knockout, A Brick Wall
EMTs and the referee haul Myst off, as the camera pans back over to the wall, which is unharmed.
JR: Well. Yeah. So...wait lets go back to the TLC match, look!
We come back just as Orion is putting Jade THROUGH THE TABLE, WITH A STEEL CHAIR ON TOP, WITH A THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT FAMEASSER FROM ON TOP OF THE LADDER!
The fans chant, holy SHITE, holy SHITE!
Jade is out COLD!
A second ladder, set up...yeah, this happened while the camera was away. Cheap? YOU BETCHA!
A second ladder in the ring, is knocked over by Sylver. The ladder contains HBC, and The Ice. The two go spilling to the outside through a pyramid of tables!
Sylver turns around and gets caught in the WARRIORS DREAM SLEEPERHOLD! Orion gets up and hits MW from behind with a low blow, causing MW to release the hold, but the damage is done, as Sylver falls to the ground semi-unconcious.
Orion grabs the tipped over ladder, and smashes MW in the face with it, before setting it up in the corner(Standing up, but just in the corner. Also, there is still a ladder in the center of the ring.)
MW is groggy, so Orion picks up a steel chair, and hits him with it.
Instant replay:
During the time away from camera, we see the following shots in the corner of the screen:
Orion hits Dos with a Rated R Van Terminator as Sylver holds the chair in his face.
HBC hits some Sweet Chin Music on The Ice.
Jade hits a Top rope Jaded DVD through the table, on Sylver.
The Ice hits Uno with The Cracked Cube on top of the ladder.
Los Conquistadors hit Nachos Grande, and Grilled STuffed Burritos on Masked Warrior.
back to live action, Orion begins to climb the ladder, but MW pulls him off, and hits him with a power bomb, to the outside, through the SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!
We now cut to the feed from the Spanish announce table:
Jose Ramirez: Es Orion. QUE?? OH MI DIOS!
El Bastarde: SHEET, SHEET, SHEET!
Jose Ramirez: ES MUY MAL TRAGIFICO! MI FAMILIA'S ESPANOL ANOUNCION TABLE, ES MUCHO DESTRUCTICO!
El Bastarde: Si, the SHEET has heet the fan!
Jose Ramirez: Es Ingles, no es Ingles, habla Espanol!
El Bastarde: De donde eres? Como estas? Tambien! Muchas Gracias Senorita! Que Hora Es?
Jose Ramirez: {Whispers} Look, just use the 'sheet' gag, ok?
El Bastarde: SHEET, SHEET, SHEET!
back to american.
JR: GOOD GOD DAMN!
Vitale: That...was....AWESOME, BABY!
King: I need a trademark line. Puppies doesnt really apply here. Ah, screw it. PUPPIES!!!!
MW begins to climb the ladder, but he is shoved off by Conquistador Dos, who, hits MW with the EL-KABONG SPANISH GUITAR TO THE HEAD!!!!
Uno climbs the ladder, and begins to grab one belt.
Meanwhile, Dos sets MW up...and begins to hit him with the Power bomb! Simultaneously, Uno flies off the ladder with the shooting star press, grabbing a belt off the hook in the process!
THE BIG ENCHILADA ON MASKED WARRIOR!!!
The crowd goes crazy!!!
JR: Wait...wait this match is NOT over! Only 1 belt is off the hook. Both belts have to be held by one person, or both belts have to be held by each member of the team for that team to be the champions. All Uno or Dos have to do is grab the other belt!
Dos begins to take JR's advice, but he is cut off by Sylver, who knocks him down with a clothesline. Sylver then turns around and sweeps Unos feet, causing him to fall and drop the ICW tag title belt.
Sylver grabs it! She thinks she's won!
But from behind, Jade grabs the belt and hits Sylver in the face with it!! Jade sits it in the corner, on the top turnbuckle, and begins to climb the ladder. In runs Conquistador Uno, who throws her off the ladder. She hits hard, and rolls to the outside.
At this point, the following people are out:
Orion,
Jade,
Sylver,
Masked Warrior
Dos gets up and begins to climb the ladder. Meanwhile, HBC runs in and starts to fight with Uno, towards the corner that has the belt set up in it.
The Ice, enters the ring, and goes after Dos who is almost near the top of the ladder.
Ice lifts Dos off the ladder, and onto his shoulders in an electric chair like move.
King: Hey, it looks like The Ice has that Dos where he wants him!
The Ice smiles, and prepares to drop Dos somewhere, but Dos reaches up, for the belt. He cant reach it.
So before the Ice can drop him, Dos JUMPS on top of the Ice's shoulders! Then makes another jump, and grabs onto the belt!
JR: He's touching the belt, here!!!
Dos undoes the belt, and lands back on the ice's shoulders! Dos hits Ice with the belt, and then does a head scissors, causing Ice to fly into the ladder that's set up in the opposite corner, face first into one of the rungs!
Vitale: AT THE BUZZER BABY!
As Dos has the 2nd belt undone and in his possession,
HBC kicks Uno in the gut, locks him in a diamond cutter headlock, and runs towards the corner with the other tag title hanging in it. She attempts an ACID DROP, BUT UNO COUNTERS IT AND TOSSES HER OVER THE TOP ROPE, TO THE FLOOR, THROUGH A TABLE! GRAVITY RULES!
Uno drops to one knee in the corner, and then he stands up...and GRABS THE OTHER TAG TEAM TITLE! LOS CONQUISTADORS HAVE BOTH TITLE BELTS!
Winners, and NEW ICW World Tag Team Champions, Los Conquistadors
Uno and Dos grab the tag titles, and make a mad dash for the backstage area.
Meanwhile, the ring and ringside area is littered with broken tables, damaged ladders, bent chairs, and 6 beaten bodies all scattered throughout.
I'm sure if these teams could get up at the moment...they would all be fighting and arguing about losing a well, well fought match.
JR: CONQUISTADORS! CONQUISTADORS!
Vitale: YEAH BABY, THEY'RE READY FOR PRIME TIME! SWISH!!
King: Wow, those beaners did it!
JR: I'm sure if these teams could get up at the moment...they would all be fighting and arguing about losing a well, well fought match. Kudos to Los Conquistaors for winning gold, here at RolePlayMania III.
King: Man, that's incredible. That's like, never happened!
Vitale: Yeah baby, we're talking THREE PEET, THREE PEET, THREE PEET, SWISH!
JR: Well, there you can see above the ring, hanging, are the ICW World Tag Team Championship belts...the last team to hold the belts were Hoyakillah and Healius, now lowly members of our ICW announce team crew.
King: Thats right, and since those two nobodies didnt defend the belts, ICW owner Dave Dudley just made himself the tag team champions, and has been champions ever since!
Vitale: Until now, baby! Because Big Daddy D is going to bring the roof down here in Cheesesteak country.
JR: Totally right, Dick. Now folks, this is a 4 team Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for the tag team titles. There are no rules, and there will be plenty of tables, ladders and chairs to use here at ringside. Now, the object is to climb the ladder and retrieve BOTH tag team titles. Then and ONLY then, will we have a winner and NEW tag team champions.
ICW Tag Team Championship
TLC: Los Conquistadors
vs.
Orion/Sylver Morrigan
vs.
Jade/Heartbreak Chick
vs.
Ice/Masked Warrior
The bell sounds, as The Ice makes his way out to the ring, with no music. The fans arent sure whether or not to cheer, or boo, as the Ice casually walks down the ramp, and into the ring. He raises his hands up in the air, as the crowd gives a slight cheer.
"The Halloween Theme" hits, and out comes The Masked Warrior, to a chorus of TEE OH PEE chants.
The Warrior comes down to the ring, as The Ice grabs a mic...
The Ice: Hey, Warrior, you'd better have your act together tonight, because if you get in my way at all during this match, I might have to just KICK YOUR ICE!
The crowd cheers, as Masked Warrior pulls a mic out of thin air. Thin air? Yeah, it's ICW.
The One True Warrior- ::thunder and lightning fill the arena, as the master of the T.O.P. begins to speak:: You know something, Ice, you and your friend, Dude Hate have been a constant thorn in my affairs to conquer the world of the E.F.W.O. and the E.W.A. and now the I.C.W. And tonight we're being teamed up to fight for the I.C.W. tag team titles. Well tonight the power of the T.O.P. will be on my side, and we'll be victorious only in the sake of gaining more strength for the war on my enemies. But tonight if you dont help us to win the I.C.W. tag team titles then you, my friend will become one of those enemies. ::the thunder and lightning grow even stronger, as The One True Warrior, the Masked Warrior enters the ring::
King: How the hell does he talk like that?
JR: It's in his contract.
Warrior and Ice give each other dirty looks in the ring, as "La Bamba" by Richie Valens hits the PA, and out come Los Conquistadors!
They comedically walk out to the ring as the fans boo. They slide into the ring, and climb the turnbuckles and wave to the fans.
JR: Technically, Los Conquistadors have the advantage here because they are the only REAL tag team here in ICW.
Vitale: CBS Sports and the NCAA, A REAL TAG TEAM BABY! Eat DiGiornio Pizza. It's not delivery, its AWESOME BABY!
"Sick Of Life" by Godsmack hits, and out comes Sylver Morrigan to a nice pop, and a nice reaction from the Lesbian audience here in ICW, for some reason.
She waits at the bottom of the ramp, as...
"We Know Who Our Enemies Are" by Mewithoutyou hits, and out comes Orion to a nice reaction, considering it's Orion.
Sylver and Orion both stop to look at each other, they look pretty focused, yet their minds seem elsewhere...
they slide into the ring, and begin the trash talking.
Meanwhile, Los Conquistadors are on the outside, talking to each other in Espanol.
Vitale: Did you hear what Conquistador Uno said? He said this match is going to be Awesome with a capital A BABY!!
JR: Actually, if I know my Spanish, I think he said he'd like to suckle on that young lady's posterior.
King: Come on, it's Sylver! Who hasnt? I mean wouldnt. Who wouldnt. Wouldnt.
Next, "Puritania" by Dimmu Borgir hits, and out comes Jade, to a bunch of oohs, and ahhs from the male audience. Supposedly, she's hot. But then again, its the internet. No one is hot on the internet. What did I just say? I forgot, Dave Dudley is hot, especially on the internet. And dont you forget it, slapdick.
She enters the ring, and begins to get in everyones face, cuz shes a PSYCHO BITCH!!! RIGHT ON MOTHER FUCKERS BITCH ASS @#%$ @#%$ ASS!
Then, "Que Pasa Contigo" which, is Spanish for "What's Up, Contigo" hits, and out comes The Heartbreak Chick, Shawna Michaels, to a great reaction from the over 30, fat and ugly demographic. Not to say she's not attractive, but her experience with such earns her a reputation.
As she gets to the ring, she slides in a chair, a ladder, and a table...HOLY @#%$, IT'S ON!!
DING, DING-A-LING
The match is underway, as The Conquistadors immediately go after Orion, and the 3 lovely ladies are involved in a 3 way.
...we now pause to think about that one.
Still thinking.
Stiiiiiiiiill thinking.
Almost done thinking.
ALMOST DONE,
ALMOST...DONE....
AHHHHH, there we go.
Meanwhile, The Ice and Masked Warrior start to set up the table.
Warrior grabs Conquistador Dos, and drags him into a corner, as MW and Ice begin to pummel him.
Orion manages to fight off Uno enough to go over and make the basic 2 on 1 attack on his partner an even 2 on 2 fight, as Orion takes on HBC as Jade and Sylver continue to go at it.
JR: Well, this match has turned into an immediate brawl...for it all.
Vitale: It's a BFIA, baby! Look at all of these guys in the ring, in ICW country, this is a diaper dandy baby, they're just fresh faced smooth bottomed rooks, totally awesome baby!
JR: Not really, most of them have wrestled in ICW before. Masked Warrior is like 45, also.
King: Haha, what a loser.
JR: If anyone reads this actual line, let me know. My guess, is that no one will read it. I'm betting 10 fake dollars that that is the case.
Back to the action, The Ice and MW in the corner are setting up Dos for a powerbomb through the table from the turnbuckle, Buh Buh style.
The Ice helps Dos up onto MW's powerbomb position, and then flips to the outside of the ring to get ready another table.
Meanwhile, Uno gets up. Dos flips out of the powerbomb, as Uno runs into the corner, jumping up onto the table, jumping off of the table, and landing on MW with a DDT like headlock.
MW isnt going down, though, as he holds onto the ropes. Uno struggles, but then Dos PUNCHES MW IN THE BALLS AS HE SITS ON THE TURNBUCKLE, AND UNO DDTS MASKED WARRIOR THROUGH THE TABLE!
The fans go...NUTS!
JR: Good lord, that was the first broken table of the night!
Vitale: That new recruit from down south sure is a PTPer baby!
Uno and Dos both then climb to the outside, to attack Ice.
In the ring, Orion whips HBC into the ropes, and catches her with a Mewdan Clutch! HBC manages to flip up and over out of it, and then attempts to kick Orion in the gut. Orion catches her foot, and she counters with an enziguri kick right to the side of Orion's head!
She then picks up the ladder that's laying on one side of the ring, under the ropes, and sets it up in the middle of the ring.
She doesnt climb it yet, though, as she goes over to Jade's direction and helps her against Sylver.
Jade and HBC both begin to trade punches on Sylver, but Sylver counters with the VAGINAL CLAW!
King: Wait...are you sure that move is supposed to HURT?
JR: Well, for first timers, maybe.
Sylver stands up while still applying the move, as HBC and Jade sell the move very poorly, as I obviously stated before the move probably wouldnt cause much damage, but then again maybe they're squirming out of enjoyment, those deviant girls, them.
Sylver releases the hold, and then delivers a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
She then sticks her hands up to her nose and smells, and gets a disgusted look on her face.
King: Maybe somebody's not springtime fresh tonight?
Vitale: I'll tell you who's fresh, baby, those Kennn-tucky Wildcats HOOYAH they're fresh all right, AND ONE!
Dick Vitale makes no sense, as we cut to outside where Los Conquistadors are beating down The Ice. They drape him over the guard rail, as Uno hops onto the apron and delivers an asai moonsault onto Ice. Dos tries to do the same, but Sylver clotheslines him off the apron, before he can do so.
Masked Warrior gets up, and starts to get into a fist fight with Sylver. The two trade moves back and forth before MW delivers a big boot to Sylver's ravishing face. Orion then gets up, himself, and clotheslines he AND MW over the top rope to the floor.
Conquistador Uno climbs into the ring and charges Sylver, but instead, Sylver ducks and Uno jumps into HBC and Jade, hitting them both with a splash. He charges Sylver once again, sliding between her legs and hits Sylver with a reverse victory roll bridge, but instead of putting it into a pin, he continues to roll all the way to the ropes, rolling Sylver to the outside!
Uno slides out, and sets up a table on the outside. He positions Sylver onto the table, and climbs back into the ring.
HBC, seeing an opportunity, goes to Uno who is perched on the turnbuckle, facing the outside, as he prepares to do a top rope move on Sylver. She climbs the turnbuckle with him, pounds on him a little, and then SUPLEXES HIM FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH SYLVER THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
meanwhile, The Ice rolls Dos back into the ring...
JR: Good LORD, did you see that?
King: All three of them are beaten down, right in front of us!
Vitale: Here's where I would say THAT WAS AWESOME, BABY! But, that's kinda expected. So, instead...THAT WAS AWESOME, BABY! I'll admit it, my vocabulary is limited.
The Ice stomps Dos, as he begins to climb the ladder, trying to get the tag gold.
Jade sees this, and immediately pushes the ladder over! The Ice goes spilling to the mat, and the ladder lands on Dos.
Jade tells the crowd that she's going to win the belts, when from behind, Masked Warrior enters the ring and CLOBBERS HER WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!
Masked Warrior celebrates, as HBC enters with her own chair, and CLOBBERS MW WITH THE CHAIR!!!
HBC slams down the chair and raises her hands in victory, as THE ICE grabs a fallen chair and CLOBBERS HBC WITH THE CHAIR!
The Ice celebrates.
JR: Good lord, look at this action!
The Ice turns around and meets DOS who CLOBBERS ICE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!
Just as soon as Dos hits the Ice with the weapon, Sylver sneaks in and CLOBBERS DOS WITH THE CHAIR IN THE FACE!
Before we can speak, UNO HITS SYLVER WITH THE CHAIR!
Orion, from the outside, slides into the ring with a chair of his own and DESTROYS UNO WITH THE CHAIR!!!!
Orion celebrates being the last one standing in the ring, as he plays to the crowd, holding the chair up.
King: AHHH! Everyone is down but Orion! Seize the opportunity, you idiot!
JR: Good advice King, after all of that chairshot action, looks like Orion is setting up the ladder!
Vitale: He's on the road to the Final Four, baby!
As Orion climbs the ladder slowly...
THE HARDCORE ICON DAVE DUDLEY runs in unannounced!
JR: What the HELL?
Dudley, weilding a steel chair wrapped in barbed wire, pulls Orion off of the ladder, and SMITES ORION WITH THE BARBED WIRE STEEL CHAIR IN THE FACE, IMMEDIATELY BUSTING HIM OPEN!!!
Dudley then holds his chair up and proclaims to the crowd, "Who's the man?
He then leaves the ringside area, just as fast as he came.
JR: What in GODS name is going on?
King: That rat bastard Dudley is just upset he lost his match here tonight! He must figure since this is his last show in control he can do whatever he wants! He already beat down Fister McCarl, after the match!
JR: Well I cant believe this! Everyone is down, in the ring!
Vitale: We need a TO baby, a TO!
Everyone is down and out. FA RILL!
JR: Well...since nothing is happening...uh...wait, it looks like someone has accepted Myst's challenge!!!
Camera cuts to the backstage area, to show Myst talking to someone off camera.
Myst: SO YOU WANT TO FIGHT, DO YOU? YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? COME ON, @#%$ LET'S GET THIS BAD BOY ON!
the camera pans over to show...
A brick wall.
The referee is there, too.
Special challenge:
Myst vs. A Brick Wall
JR: I cant believe this. We've sank to new lows.
Ding, ding
The bell sounds, and Myst starts to punch away at the brick wall.
No affect, so he tries to kick it.
Myst: AHH, MY FUCKIN PINKY TOE! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!
Myst grabs a wooden chair and throws it at the wall. It shatters.
He throws more things at the wall, and they bounce off.
The wall remains, unrelentless.
Myst: AHHH! I CANT BELIEVE YOU! WHY WONT YOU LET ME BEAT YOU?
Myst resumes punching the wall.
Myst: PUT UP YOUR DUKES, YOU FILTHY BASTERD!
The wall has no dukes, and Myst finds that out as he punches it some more.
He continues to punch, until he gets tired and slumps up against the wall, clawing at it trying to get up.
JR: Looks like the wall is getting the best of Myst, here.
Myst gets up and backs up away from the wall.
Myst: Ugh...Argh...Ahhhh....ARGH.....GLARG!!! YOU...MAKE...ME...SO...ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!
Myst charges head first with a GORE, GORE, GORE! INTO THE BRICK WALL!
Yeah, but that wasnt smart. Myst's head goes THUD into the wall, and he falls flat on his back.
JR: Good LORD!
King: For once, I'm at a loss for words.
Vitale: Not me, baby....uh...baby.
Myst is out cold, as the referee begins to count him out.
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...
7...
8...
9...
10!!!
"Brick wall, WINNER!" the ref says.
Winner by knockout, A Brick Wall
EMTs and the referee haul Myst off, as the camera pans back over to the wall, which is unharmed.
JR: Well. Yeah. So...wait lets go back to the TLC match, look!
We come back just as Orion is putting Jade THROUGH THE TABLE, WITH A STEEL CHAIR ON TOP, WITH A THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT FAMEASSER FROM ON TOP OF THE LADDER!
The fans chant, holy SHITE, holy SHITE!
Jade is out COLD!
A second ladder, set up...yeah, this happened while the camera was away. Cheap? YOU BETCHA!
A second ladder in the ring, is knocked over by Sylver. The ladder contains HBC, and The Ice. The two go spilling to the outside through a pyramid of tables!
Sylver turns around and gets caught in the WARRIORS DREAM SLEEPERHOLD! Orion gets up and hits MW from behind with a low blow, causing MW to release the hold, but the damage is done, as Sylver falls to the ground semi-unconcious.
Orion grabs the tipped over ladder, and smashes MW in the face with it, before setting it up in the corner(Standing up, but just in the corner. Also, there is still a ladder in the center of the ring.)
MW is groggy, so Orion picks up a steel chair, and hits him with it.
Instant replay:
During the time away from camera, we see the following shots in the corner of the screen:
Orion hits Dos with a Rated R Van Terminator as Sylver holds the chair in his face.
HBC hits some Sweet Chin Music on The Ice.
Jade hits a Top rope Jaded DVD through the table, on Sylver.
The Ice hits Uno with The Cracked Cube on top of the ladder.
Los Conquistadors hit Nachos Grande, and Grilled STuffed Burritos on Masked Warrior.
back to live action, Orion begins to climb the ladder, but MW pulls him off, and hits him with a power bomb, to the outside, through the SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!
We now cut to the feed from the Spanish announce table:
Jose Ramirez: Es Orion. QUE?? OH MI DIOS!
El Bastarde: SHEET, SHEET, SHEET!
Jose Ramirez: ES MUY MAL TRAGIFICO! MI FAMILIA'S ESPANOL ANOUNCION TABLE, ES MUCHO DESTRUCTICO!
El Bastarde: Si, the SHEET has heet the fan!
Jose Ramirez: Es Ingles, no es Ingles, habla Espanol!
El Bastarde: De donde eres? Como estas? Tambien! Muchas Gracias Senorita! Que Hora Es?
Jose Ramirez: {Whispers} Look, just use the 'sheet' gag, ok?
El Bastarde: SHEET, SHEET, SHEET!
back to american.
JR: GOOD GOD DAMN!
Vitale: That...was....AWESOME, BABY!
King: I need a trademark line. Puppies doesnt really apply here. Ah, screw it. PUPPIES!!!!
MW begins to climb the ladder, but he is shoved off by Conquistador Dos, who, hits MW with the EL-KABONG SPANISH GUITAR TO THE HEAD!!!!
Uno climbs the ladder, and begins to grab one belt.
Meanwhile, Dos sets MW up...and begins to hit him with the Power bomb! Simultaneously, Uno flies off the ladder with the shooting star press, grabbing a belt off the hook in the process!
THE BIG ENCHILADA ON MASKED WARRIOR!!!
The crowd goes crazy!!!
JR: Wait...wait this match is NOT over! Only 1 belt is off the hook. Both belts have to be held by one person, or both belts have to be held by each member of the team for that team to be the champions. All Uno or Dos have to do is grab the other belt!
Dos begins to take JR's advice, but he is cut off by Sylver, who knocks him down with a clothesline. Sylver then turns around and sweeps Unos feet, causing him to fall and drop the ICW tag title belt.
Sylver grabs it! She thinks she's won!
But from behind, Jade grabs the belt and hits Sylver in the face with it!! Jade sits it in the corner, on the top turnbuckle, and begins to climb the ladder. In runs Conquistador Uno, who throws her off the ladder. She hits hard, and rolls to the outside.
At this point, the following people are out:
Orion,
Jade,
Sylver,
Masked Warrior
Dos gets up and begins to climb the ladder. Meanwhile, HBC runs in and starts to fight with Uno, towards the corner that has the belt set up in it.
The Ice, enters the ring, and goes after Dos who is almost near the top of the ladder.
Ice lifts Dos off the ladder, and onto his shoulders in an electric chair like move.
King: Hey, it looks like The Ice has that Dos where he wants him!
The Ice smiles, and prepares to drop Dos somewhere, but Dos reaches up, for the belt. He cant reach it.
So before the Ice can drop him, Dos JUMPS on top of the Ice's shoulders! Then makes another jump, and grabs onto the belt!
JR: He's touching the belt, here!!!
Dos undoes the belt, and lands back on the ice's shoulders! Dos hits Ice with the belt, and then does a head scissors, causing Ice to fly into the ladder that's set up in the opposite corner, face first into one of the rungs!
Vitale: AT THE BUZZER BABY!
As Dos has the 2nd belt undone and in his possession,
HBC kicks Uno in the gut, locks him in a diamond cutter headlock, and runs towards the corner with the other tag title hanging in it. She attempts an ACID DROP, BUT UNO COUNTERS IT AND TOSSES HER OVER THE TOP ROPE, TO THE FLOOR, THROUGH A TABLE! GRAVITY RULES!
Uno drops to one knee in the corner, and then he stands up...and GRABS THE OTHER TAG TEAM TITLE! LOS CONQUISTADORS HAVE BOTH TITLE BELTS!
Winners, and NEW ICW World Tag Team Champions, Los Conquistadors
Uno and Dos grab the tag titles, and make a mad dash for the backstage area.
Meanwhile, the ring and ringside area is littered with broken tables, damaged ladders, bent chairs, and 6 beaten bodies all scattered throughout.
I'm sure if these teams could get up at the moment...they would all be fighting and arguing about losing a well, well fought match.
JR: CONQUISTADORS! CONQUISTADORS!
Vitale: YEAH BABY, THEY'RE READY FOR PRIME TIME! SWISH!!
King: Wow, those beaners did it!
JR: I'm sure if these teams could get up at the moment...they would all be fighting and arguing about losing a well, well fought match. Kudos to Los Conquistaors for winning gold, here at RolePlayMania III.