Post by Dave Dangerously on Mar 15, 2013 22:38:25 GMT -6
Ross: Well, folks...now it's time for what you've all been waiting for. ICW Presents the EFED GIMMICK RUMBLE!!!!!!
Styles: That's right, JR...all of your favorite Efed Gimmicks will be here, from LWN-spawned efeds, on this night of LWN and efed history.
Lawler: Hey, you two were some of the best gimmicks, why arent you in there? HAHA!
Ross: Well, at least I'm not the "King".
Styles: Mabel made a better king than you.
Lawler: You little bastard, you watch your mouth.
Styles: Hey, it would suck to have someone like Stacy Carter divorce you, huh? Damn...that would suck...
Lawler: ARGH!
Ross: Here are the rules, folks...this is a Royal Rumble style match. IT would be a normal battle royal, but that sucks and Dave doesnt want to write it like that. Wow, what just came over me? Who's Dave?
Camera cuts to the ring, where we see Howard Finkel.
The Fink: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Gimmick Rumble. Every two minutes another entrant will come down the ring. When a superstar is thrown OVER the top rope, and both feet touch the floor, they are eliminated. The last superstar remaining, will be declared the winner!
"Disco Inferno" hits, and the crowd starts to cheer. Why, they dont know...maybe to see a classic efed superstar, but...no...what do we get?
Ross: It's Masta Sexay!
Masta Sexay strolls down the aisle, and rolls into the ring, as the fans boo tremendously. Sexay grabs a mic, and begins to speak...
MASTA SEXAY: HEY WHATS UP PEOPLE I KNOW YOU CAME TO SEE ME DANCE HERE TONITE SO I GUESS I SHOULD PROBABLY DANCE.
Masta dances...poorly.
MASTA SEXAY: YAH BABY THATS WHAT I THOUGHT NOW TIME TO CRUSH MY OPPONENT WHOEVER IT MIGHT BE.
"The Game" by Motorhead hits, and out walks... The Game.
The Game looks at the crowd. THEY DONT KNOW WHO HE IS!
JR: Doesnt this remind you of the Insane Rumble II?
Styles: Eeeerie.
The Game rolls into the ring
THE GAME: HEY PEOPLE WHATS UP IM GOING TO BEAT DOWN THIS DORKUS MASTA SEXAY RIGHT NOW.
MASTA SEXAY: YOU SHUT UP SHUT UP RIGHT NOW YOU STOLE MY NINTENDO.
THE GAME: I JUST ASKED TO BORROW IT
MASTA SEXAY: NO MEANIE YOU STOLE IT AND ITS MINE AND YOU TOOK IT FROM ME YOU WENT INTO MY ROOM WHEN I WASNT HOME.
THE GAME: MOM SAID IT WAS OK TO BORROW IT.
MASTA SEXAY: MOM DOESNT MATTER NOW YOU WILL SUFFER.
THE GAME: ALL YOUR NINTENDOS ARE BELONG TO US.
And the bell rings and the match begins, as these two men? start locking up, in the old-collar elbow position.
And they stay locked up...
and they stay locked up...
ZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZz
JR: This is...uh...well, it's not a slobberknocker.
After the inevitable two minutes, the timer goes off...
10....9....8....7....6.....5....4.....3....2....1!
"I'm A Slave For You" by Britney Spears hits, and out comes High Risk!
He immediately joins the fray, and...LOCKS UP IN THE COLLAR ELBOW TIEUP, its a three way!
Styles: Wow, you'd have thought I've seen that before...but I havent.
Two more minutes go by, like THAT, and the countdown begins:
10...9...8...7....6...5...4...3...2...1!
The buzzer goes off and...it's.... Methane Man! Who comes to the ring with "Da Rockwilder" by Method Man and Redman. I mean come on, thats where he got the name, right? Or he farts a lot...
JR: Wow, look at this! These four men? are in the ring...and they're all standing there, arguing!
Lawler: It's like they're related!
Styles: Look, it's turned into a brawl!
All four men go at it, trading blows in the center of the ring.
They all get split up, with The Game throwing all of them off of him. The game knocks Masta Sexay to one corner, Methane Man to the other. Masta Sexay and Methane Man both hook up again, I guess thats the only move they know.
Masta Sexay and Methane Man get to close to the ropes though, and they spill out to the floor, still tangled up.
Eliminated, Masta Sexay
Eliminated, Methane Man
As High Risk and The Game duke it out in the middle of the ring, the timer starts once again...
10...9...8......7.....6.....5.....4.....3.....2....1!
"I'm The Biggest One" by They Might Be Giants hits, and out steps a mountain of a man... Yokozuna X!
He RUNS down to the ring, and slides into it, causing a ripple effect on the canvas, and his 8 chins.
JR: OOh, the big man is here, Yokozuna X!
Styles: It's JOBBER X TIME!
Yoko X gets up and goes to work on The Game and High Risk. Yoko keester klobbers High Risk, and he goes over the top rope!
Eliminated, High Risk
Yoko then pulls The Game in close, puts him in a bear hug, and slams him down with the Yoko Slam!
Yoko then picks The Game up over his head, and tosses him into the arms of High Risk, over the top rope.
Eliminated, The Game
The four men who were just eliminated continue their brawl, up the ramp.
JR: Looks like that feud is STILL long from finished.
Lawler: Yokozuna X really cleared the ring...kinda like how he clears the dinner table! HAHA!
The countdown begins, once more...
10....9.....8.....7......6.....5.....4.....3....2....1!
The buzzer goes off, and we hear:
"YOU ALL KNOW THAT THE WOMBI-WHOMP STEALS THE SHOW!!"
And the Star Wars theme plays, and everyone's favorite Wookie comes out, Wombi!
Styles: CHEWBACCA!
Lawler: CHEWIE!!!
Styles: WHoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa WHAT A WOOKIE!
Wombi runs down and slides into the ring, to a huge pop. He gets in the ring with his trusty crossbow but Yoko soon snatches it away, and EATS IT! He then rubs his belly, as he tries to run down Wombi, who manages to evade him. Wombi starts to run circles around Yoko, as he is fat.
Yoko tries a SUPERKICK! But Wombi ducks. Wombi punches Yoko in the head, and kicks him in the shin.
JR: Dirty!
Wombi then climbs the top rope...as Yoko is holding his shin, in extreme pain, Wombi flies off, does a flip, chops Yoko in the head, and lands on his feet!
Styles: It's the WOMBI-WHOMP!
Yoko goes down, as the fans go nuts. Wombi stands over his fallen foe, and places his hand out inf ront of his crotch.
Lawler: Oh no, not this!
The crowd can sense it, as they become electrified...for the most ELECTRIFYING DANCE IN THE WORLD... THE WOMBI-WIGGLE!!!!
The fans go crazy as Wombi Wiggles, as the countdown begins again!
10....9....8....7....6.....5....4...3....2....1!
"American Pie/All-Star" hits and out come The FILTHY MAMMALS! nWo-2k and Crowmaniac!
They bum rush the ring, and attack Wombi as he wiggles.
JR: They've come to kill Wombi!
Styles: They're going to make a rug out of him!
They both knock him down, and begin to stomp.
Wombi seems helpless, until Yoko X gets up and knocks The Mammals off of him. Yoko headbutts nWo-2k, and he falls down. He grabs Crowmaniac by the hair, and lobs him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Crowmaniac
Wombi gets up, and he and Yoko double team nWo-2k.
Wombi tries to lift nWo-2k over the top, and motions for Yoko to help him out. Wombi struggles as Yoko stands and watches. Yoko then shoves BOTH MEN over the top rope!
Eliminated, nWo-2k
Eliminated, Wombi
Yoko turns around and plays to the crowd, as Wombi and 2K hit the floor hard.
JR: You dont mess with Jobber X!
The countdown begins again:
10...9.....8.....7......6.....5.....4....3....2....1!
"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC hits, and out comes... The TAZMANIAN GIANT! the crowd oohs, and ahhs.
Taz Giant walks to the ring, enters the ring via the top rope, and goes right after Yoko X.
Styles: It's the battle of the two LWN Giants!
Lawler: I wouldnt call Yoko X a giant...he's just...fat.
Taz Giant hits Yoko X with a big boot to the face. Yoko X retaliates with a standing clothesline, only rocking the Giant.
The Giant swings Yoko into the ropes, and catches him with a beely to beely suplex!
JR: Wow, he suplexed Yokozuna X!
Taz Giant taunts the fallen Yoko X, and begins to stomp him down. He follows up with a brutal elbow drop!
JR: Fans, it's a good time to tell you, this Gimmick Rumble is brought to you by Cheez-Its and Big Red soda. Why? Because that's what Dave is eating and drinking right now...sorry, I dunno what came over me, once again.
Taz Giant tells the fans who the real true giant of wrestling is...and then:
10...9....8....7....6....5...4...3....2...1!
Off goes the buzzer, and it's "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie, meaning Hey Kid!
Styles: It's the Kiddster!
His head is shaven with the message: "I am Dave Dudley's Bitch."
He runs into the ring and gives a flying forearm to Tazmanian Giant!
The giant doesnt fall down, instead he grabs Hey Kid and slams him down with a brutal powerslam!
Hey Kid cowers in the corner, feeling the effects...
Lawler: Hah, look at that Hey Kid. He'll never amount to anything!
JR: This isnt 1999, Jerry.
Styles: And what's up with the timer? That's not two minu-
JR: SHHHHHH!
The Giant proves his strength by lifting up Yoko and placing him on the top turnbuckle. The giant joins him up there, and puts his back to the outside area, towards the Spanish announcers table. He hooks up the massive Yoko, and Belly to belly suplexes Yoko, landing in a Splash, through the announcers table!
Of course, doesnt this mean both men are eliminated?
Styles: SHEET, SHEET, SHEET!
Lawler: Mexican translation= OH, MY, GOD!
JR: Of course, this means both men are eliminated.
Told ya so.
Eliminated, Yokozuna X
Eliminated, The Tazmanian Giant
Hey Kid is still in the ring, laughing at the two giant fools.
The countdown starts:
10...9....87654321!
"Something by That one artist" hits and out comes...THE HARDCORE MACHINE... WICKIT!
Wickit his the ring and spears Hey Kid!
Lawler: Great, we go from having Wookies, to Ewoks. What a world.
Styles: These two men have history together!
JR: Doesnt everyone, in this match, have history together, one way or another?
Styles: Shutup.
Hey Kid and Wickit fight for a few minutes..and to make a long story short:
10987654321 BLASTOFF
"Some Rap Song" hits and out comes KAREEM!
Kareem hits the ring, with a kendo stick, and starts to go to work on Hey Kid. Wickit continues to stomp HK, as well.
Lawler: KAKKALAKKAKAKAKAKAKA
JR: It's Team 4:20 taking out the Hey Kid! What a total debacle!
Elapsed time: Who knows?
10....9....8....7....6....5....4....3...2.....1!
"Patriotism" by Company Flow hits, and out runs The Insane Leechador, REALLY CRAZY!
He runs down with a steel chair!
RC slides into the ring, and nails Kareem! He nails Wickit!
Styles: It's Team 4:20 vs. The Hardcore Revolution! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
RC raises up the chair, the fans go nuts! Wickit and Kareem are both down, holding their heads.
HK gets up, and looks at the two fallen teammates, and starts to curse them...he then looks at Really Crazy, and RC HITS HIM WITH THE CHAIR!
Hey Kid goes down in a heap of jabroni.
Styles: OH MY GOD!
JR: WHAT THE HELL?
Lawler: WOO HOO!
RC drops the chair, and begins to stomp away on Kareem.
Wickit gets up, and goes after Hey Kid.
The four pair off in opposite corners, going at it until the next buzzer goes off...
10....9....8....7.....6......5.....4....3....2....1
An ambulance siren fills the arena...followed by sounds of insane laughter, followed by Chris Jericho's music.
An ambulance comes from the back of the building, and parks at ringside. From the driver's seat emerges... Smackdown!
Smackdown comes into the ring carrying two garbage can lids, and immediately smacks them across Really Crazy's head. Smackdown reaches in his pocket, and hits Kareem with some brass knuckles, right in the nose, busting him open!
JR: It's LWN's Smackdown!!! And he's insane!
Smackdown then picks up Really Crazy's steel chair and whacks Wickit with it, right in the head. SD goes to hit Hey Kid, but HK ducks, and retaliates with a superkick right into the steel chair, right into Smackdown's face! He goes down, as Hey Kid goes over to Really Crazy and picks him up by the shirt, and starts to ask "What was up with hitting me?
Before Crazy can answer, Kareem comes flying to the corner with the steel chair! HK ducks, and Kareem runs right into RC, they both go down.
10....9....8...7...6...5.....4.....3....2....1
"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath hits, and out runs the Irish Luchadore, PAIN!
Pain slides into the ring, and immediately goes after Hey Kid. Pain picks up HK and throws him into Smackdown, who is waiting with a steel chair, and hits HK right in the side of the head.
Styles: There's the one true Irish Luchadore, Pain!
Smackdown then throws the chair at Pain, and starts to charge him. Pain moves out of the way as SD goes past him, and hits SD in the back with the chair!
Wickit and Kareem resume double teaming Really Crazy in the corner, as Pain and Smackdown go at it in the middle of the ring.
Hey Kid slides under the bottom rope, and looks under the ring apron...he finds a BARBED-WIRE STEEL CHAIR! HK slides back into the ring and BUSTS Wickit in the head with the chair, busting him open! HK then does the same to Kareem, and then does the same to Really Crazy!
10...9.....8....7.....6......5.....4.....3....2....1
"Dies Irae" by Mozart hits, and out comes New Jack 187! He is dragging a plastic trash can full of items with him!
He hits the ring, and throws the trash can in there. Before going in, he drags Smackdown out of the ring, and starts to beat on him on the outside! He grabs a broomstick and busts it over the back of Smackdown's neck. New Jack then looks under the ring, and pulls out a table!
He kicks Smackdown in the gut, and NEW JACK SUPREME Spinebuster through the table!
New Jack slides into the ring and hits Hey Kid with a Ninten
Lawler: Hey, maybe that was The Game's Nintendo...
He then puts a noose around Wickit's neck, and throws him over the top rope! His feet dont touch the floor, however, but he is being hung! He manages to get back in the ring, however, as Really Crazy fights with Kareem, New Jack fights with Pain, and Smackdown lies out cold on the outside.
10...9....8....7....6....5.....4....3....2....1
"Happiness Is All The Rage" by the Promise Ring hits and out comes Phreak!
Phreak runs down to the ring, and hits New Jack with a running dropkick! He then starts to punch away on Pain, as Smackdown rolls back into the ring.
JR: Here comes the angry rocker himself!
Hey Kid hits Wickit with the chair, in the back, as Really Crazy gives Kareem a low blow, and clotheslines him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Kareem
Hey Kid and Really Crazy stare each other down for a moment, before they both give a double superkick to Smackdown, who has just gotten to his feet!
10...9....8....7....6.....5.....4.....3....2....1
"Revolution Is My Name" by Pantera hits, and out comes Jayson Annhilation!
Jayson hits the ring, and immediately goes to work on Pain! He kicks Pain in the gut, after a few punches, and then grabs him and tosses him to the outside! Pain flies over the top rope, and BOUNCES OFF OF THE SIDE OF THE AMBULANCE!
Eliminated, Pain
New Jack goes to hit Jayson with a kendo stick he pulled from his garbage can of tricks, but Jayson blocks with his hands, pulls the stick away, and beats on New Jack!
Styles: Jay is kicking ASS!
New Jack gets beat down to the canvas, as Phreak comes up behind Jayson and hits him with a running bulldog! Jayson goes down, just as Wickit knocks down Hey Kid with a clothesline, and Really Crazy goes to work on Smackdown.
10....9....8.....7.....6.....5.....4.....3......2....1
"Chariots Of Fire" hits, and out comes Omar Parker! Omar rushes down to the ring, and goes after Phreak, who has his back turned. Phreak spins around and goes with Parker's momentum, and tosses him to the outside!
Eliminated, Omar Parker
Kareem then re-enters the ring, and pulls the rope down as Wickit whips Hey Kid into the ropes! Hey Kid goes over the top!
Eliminated, Hey Kid
Hey Kid and Kareem battle it out on the outside, as Really Crazy and Wickit do battle in the ring.
10...9....8...7....6...5....4...3....2...1
"Dig" by Mudvayne hits, and out comes Icychiller!
Icychiller hits the ring, and goes after New Jack 187! He spears, and then starts to punch him.
On the outside, HK and Kareem fight near the ambulance, using it to slam each other's heads into and whatnot.
Wickit goes to toss Really Crazy out, but RC reverses and throws Wickit out!
Eliminated, Wickit
RC then bounces off the side of the ropes and jumps over the top rope with a suicide dive-like move into Kareem, into the ambulance!
Eliminated, Really Crazy
Icychiller then tries to toss New Jack out, but is unsuccessful, as Smackdown blindsides him from the back.
10...9....8....7....6....5....4....3....2...1
"Chariots of Fire" hits once again, and here comes Braden Blaze!
Blaze immediately hits the ring, and throws out Phreak! Phreak didnt even see it coming!
Eliminated, Phreak
But, from behind, Smackdown eliminates Blaze, by a clothesline to the back of Braden's neck!
Eliminated, Braden Blaze
Jayson hits Smackdown with a steel chair, and Smacky goes down. So now the only two left standing in the ring are Jayson, and New Jack, and the two tangle up!
1...2...3....4....5...6..7...8..9...10 (wonder if anyone's actually reading this?)
Kane's theme music hits and out comes Blackheart!
He stops at the ramp, and speaks on the mic:
Blackheart: ENJOY THIS FIGHT. IT WILL BE YOUR LAST.
He then rushes the ring, and picks up a chair, knocking New Jack, Jayson, Smackdown, and Icy down. Icy gets back up, but Blackheart hits him again, this time the force knocks Icy to the outside!
Eliminated, Icychiller
The same fate happens for Jayson!
Eliminated, Jayson Annhilation
Smackdown manages to get to his feet and toss New Jack over the top rope, as New Jack is woozy from another chairshot courtesy of Blackheart.
Eliminated, New Jack 187
Smackdown and Blackheart then stare each other down...
10...9....8....7...6...5...4...3...2...1
"40 Ounces To Freedom" by Sublime hits, and out comes Twisted Crazy!
he hits the ring, and Smackdown and Blackheart both team up to clothesline him over the top rope!
JR: Here comes the Twisted One...and there...he goes.
Eliminated, Twisted Crazy
Blackheart and Smackdown then continue to stare each other down, as Blackheart remains still until the timer starts up again...
10...9....8....7...6...5...4...3...2..1
"Tubthumper" by Chumbawumba hits, and out comes DC who looks like he's had a little too much to drink...
he staggers into the ring, and Blackheart eliminates him via big boot to the face.
Eliminated, DC
DC lands right next to the ambulance, where Really Crazy, Hey Kid, Wickit, and Kareem are all laying in the back, beaten up and bloody.
DC gets up, wobbly, and starts to head for the cab of the ambulance.
In the ring, Blackheart stares down, Smackdown. Smackdown rolls to the outside, and grabs a mic:
Smackdown: Hey, It'd be really nice if someone from say, the mWo came out and helped me here! This guy is scary, and I suck!
10...9....8....7....6....5...4...3...2...1
"Who Let The Dogs Out" hits, and out comes mWo Benji!!!
Smackdown, happy that his pet dog has come to save him rolls back into the ring. Benji is carried down to the ring by Jeeves, who sets Benji into the ring.[/i]
Styles: OH...MY....GOD!!!! ITS BENJI!!!!
Benji looks at Smackdown...looks at Blackheart...looks at Smackdown...and SUPERKICKS SMACKDOWN!!!
Smackdown goes flying over the top rope!!!
Eliminated, Smackdown
Smackdown lands right next to the ambulance, where DC Picks him up, and throws him into the ambulance along with Team 4:20 and The Hardcore Revolution, and slams the door shut...
DC them pulls out a bottle of King Cobra and throws it back.
DC: *hic*...I think...I think I'm gunna go fer a drive...
DC gets into the drivers seat, and drives the ambulance away...
Lawler: No! Don't let that idiot drive, dont you remember what happens when he drives? DEATH!
Meanwhile, Blackheart and Benji are still in the ring. Benji demonstrates his proficiency in karate, but Blackheart picks the small dog up, and TOSSES HIM INTO THE CROWD!!! A 200 FOOT THROW, AT THE LEAST!!!
Eliminated, mWo Benji
Blackheart stands triumphantly in the ring, the only man at the moment.
10....9....8...7....6..5...4...3...2...1
Pearl Jam's "Do The Evolution, Baby" hits, and out comes founder of EWA, Evolution!
Evo charges the ring, and immediately gets into it with Blackheart. The two trade punches for a minute, until Blackheart catches Evo in a headlock. Evo bounces Blackheart off the ropes, and knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Evo then runs off the ropes again to build momentum, but Blackheart springs to his feet, follows Evo, and brutally SPEARS HIM ON THE ROPES, causing Evo to flip over the top rope!
Eliminated, Evolution
Blackheart once again stands tall in the ring, as the camera cuts to the back.
It's a shot of Dave Dudley telling some kind of tech person something...
Dave Dudley: Cue the next person now, and everyone else when I say. NOW, DAMNIT!
"Testify" by Rage Against The Machine hits, and out runs Sign Guy Dudley!!!! Sign Guy hits the ring, punches Blackheart in the crotch, and throws him over the top rope!!
Eliminated, Blackheart
Sign Guy stands looking at the entrance, and motions to "bring it".
The camera cuts back to Dave Dudley in the back:
Dave Dudley: Just keeeeep em comin, this thing's run too long as it is.
JR: Damnit, the owner of this damn company is taking control, he's almost rigging this Battle Royal!
"The Silent Hill Music" plays, and out runs Harry Mason!
Mason hits the ring, gets kicked by Sign Guy, SIGN GUY STUNNER!, Mason is rocked, Sign Guy tosses him over the top!
Eliminated, Harry Mason
Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" hits, and out comes Timster, and Neo, EXTREME MEASURES!
They hit the ring, and Sign Guy produces a yardstick from his pants. WHere'd he get that? He cracks them both with the yardstick, and delivers a DOUBLE SIGN GUY STUNNER! Timster oversells it, and flips over the top rope, whereas Neo gets tossed by Sign Guy, getting made famous in the process.
Eliminated, Timster
Eliminated, Neo
Sign Guy turns around to hear "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy Elliot, and he sees THE CHINESE MOFIA, KANG AND WANG rush the ring. Kang is the first to hit the ring, and Sign Guy simply tosses him out by the hair. Wang hits second, and SIGN GUY HITS WANG! Wang gets whipped into the ropes, and backdropped over the top rope by an awaiting Sign Guy.
Eliminated, Kang
Eliminated, Wang
"Bob's Bacon Barn" hits, and out comes AVATAR!!
Avatar hit's the ring, and Sign Guy hits him with a SUPERKICK TO THE GROIN!!!! Avatar grimices in pain, as Sign Guy clotheslines the bastard over the top rope!
Eliminated, Avatar
Sign Guy turns around to hear Godsmack's "Voodoo", and to see Dijbouti Dan come down the aisle.
Dan enters the ring slowly, and exits quickly, as Sign Guy makes short work of him.
Eliminated, Dijbouti Dan
Sign Guy awaits the next entrant...
"So Hardcore" by Busta Rhymes hits, as DKnoch comes down to the ring! He hesitates to enter the ring, and then finally does, catching Signie off guard.
Knoch gets the upper hand on Sign Guy, as "So Hardcore" hits again, and Jim Hacksaw comes down the aisle!
Hacksaw enters the ring, and joins DKnoch in beating Sign Guy down. Suddenly, "So Hardcore" hits once again, and out comes Mercury! Mercury runs down to the ring, smiling, as he also joins his New Era faction buddies!
JR: Sign Guy, after eliminating numerous men, is now at the mercy of the New Era! Dave's plan has come back to bite him on the ass!
Sign Guy is getting triple teamed, as "Mic Check" by RATM hits, and out come THE REBELS! Kottonbomb, The Ice, and Rocky(although he wasnt REALLY a rebel, he was like for a night or something, right? Right.) They rush the ring and attack the New Era!
Sign Guy manages to crawl into a corner as this 6 man brawl ensues!
Suddenly, "Debonaire" by DOPE hits(sure, its Amalek's old music, but just hold on a second.) and out comes MEMBERS OF THE TRIPLE THREAT + 1! Simeon, Stone Cold Stoonky, 148-813, and 148-814. They hit the ring and join the fray, as well!
As these 10 men are going at it, "Gay Music" by Some Faggot hits, and out comes Andrew Attitude, and his friend, Dan Downtown! They enter the fight too!
Styles: THIS IS INSANE!
And if that's not enough, "The Halloween Theme" hits, and here comes the THEATER OF PAIN, MASKED WARRIOR, AND VANQUISH! Now its a 14 man brawl, the ring is filled with combatants!!
JR: IT'S A 14 MAN BRAWL!!! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!
Suddenly, "Could Be Worse" by the Dingees hits, but no one comes down the aisle. Seconds later, we see none other than INTHERAFTERS come zooming down on a zipline, landing right in the center of the ring, toting her black aluminum baseball bat!!!
Lawler: AHHHH!
Ross: IT'S ITR, ITR!
She starts swinging, and bodies go flying!
Eliminated, Stone Cold Stoonky
Eliminated, Jim Hacksaw
Eliminated, Dan Downtown
Eliminated, Kottonbomb
Eliminated, 148-814
Eliminated, DKnoch
Eliminated, Vanquish
Eliminated, The Ice
Eliminated, 148-813
Eliminated, Mercury
Eliminated, Simeon
Eliminated, Rocky
ITR stops swinging, and the only people left in the ring besides her are Sign Guy, Masked Warrior, and Andrew Attitude.
Styles: ITR just cleaned house!!!
"Mudshovel" by Staind hits, and out comes Eclypse! She runs down to the ring, and goes after Andrew Attitude, who stops her, and offers her some money...
She takes the money, and then turns around. Andrew starts to go after her when her back is turned but she turns around, grabs him by the neck , and flings him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Andrew Attitude
Sign Guy grabs ITR's bat from her real quick, and as Eclypse turns around from throwing AA out, HE BUSTS HER IN THE FACE WITH THE BAT, AND SHE GOES FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eliminated, Eclypse
Sign Guy returns the bat to ITR, as she just stares at him...he backs off, because she looks weird. Masked Warrior then goes after Sign Guy, as "Money Is My Bitch" by Nas hits, and out comes Wesley "Platinum" Perry!
He hits the ring, does a dance, ITR clubs him in the face, and he goes over the top rope.
Eliminated, Wesley "Platinum" Perry
Masked Warrior puts Sign Guy in the Warrior's dream, but Sign Guy wiggles free, and gives him a SIGN GUY STUNNER! Warrior, dazed, is easy pickings for the Sign Guy clothesline over the top rope.
Eliminated, Masked Warrior
Now, ITR and Sign Guy stare each other down...ITR points her big black....
bat...at Sign Guy, as "Gently" by Slipknot plays, as Don "The Death Dealer" Sampson comes out!
The Death Dealer hits the ring, but ITR and Sign Guy team up to double clothesline him over the top!
Eliminated, Don "The Death Dealer" Sampson
ITR and Sign Guy stare each other down again, as Sampson cries on the outside, ripping off his mask to reveal none other than... THE HARDCORE KID! He pouts and GUHS as he leaves the ringside area.[/i]
Styles: What the hell was The Hardcore Kid doing dressed up as The Deathdealer?
Lawler: haha, he had to get in some how, he sucked too badly as the Hardcore Kid!
Now, "Behind Space" by In Flames hits, and out comes Omega X, to a chorus of cheers! He rushes the ring, and immediately starts to attack ITR. Sign Guy sits back and watches, with a smile on his face.
As OX beats on ITR, Bjork's "Army Of Me" hits, and out comes Roid Rage!
Roid Rage enters the ring, just as OX seemingly has ITR eliminated. Rage stops the elimination, as OX pushes Roidster off of him. Rage doesnt like this, and grabs OX by the throat. He chokes him down, until ITR hits Roid Rage in the shoulder with her bat!
JR: Roid Rage is a MONSTER!!
Rage isnt affected, he looks up, and grabs ITR by the throat too!
Sign Guy comes over and superkicks RR right in the crotch!
No effect!
Styles: Years of steroid abuse has left Roid Rage with little to no genitals.
RR lets go of ITR, and pursues Sign Guy, while still clutching OX, as the next entrant enters, and that entrant is... EL BASTARDE! "Oyo Como Va" by Santana hits, and The Bastard runs down the aisle!
Ross: BASTARDE, BASTARDE!
El Bastarde hits the ring, and goes to work on Roid Rage, as Rage releases OX. OX, choked to unconciousness, is picked up by Sign Guy and tossed over the top rope.(Cheap)
Eliminated, Omega X
ITR gets back to her feet and clubs away on RR with her bat, as Bastarde and Sign Guy both work on taking the massive freak down.
Suddenly, "I Could Never Be Your Woman" by White Town hits, and out comes Greenberg!
Greenberg rushes down to help out her partner DrDrELeiGh: she was ITR's gay lover. DrDrELeiGh: actually DrDrELeiGh: since ITR had a floppy donkey dick, she was her hetero lover
Where did that come from? Well, ITR, if you're reading, I did not make fun of you. It was all Andrew.
Greenberg enters the ring and now its 4 on 1 on Roid Rage, Greenberg, ITR, El Bastarde, and Sign Guy all working together, to try and bring this massive man down.
"Starfuckers, Inc." by Nine Inch Nails hits, and signals the arrival of the AMARANTHA!
Amarantha runs down to the ring, and helps like everyone else is, to get rid of Roid Rage...but it's still not enough!
They're all beating on RR, but it's not quite enough. "Holla, Holla" by Ja Rule hits, and out comes THE WHOLE FN SHOW, MR. PPV!
PPV runs down, and he goes after RR too, but they still cant manage to toss the man over the top rope!!
Ross: Business is picking up!
The stage lights go off, but no music is heard, as KALLISTA makes her way down to the ring, very slowly, to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
Kallista enters the ring, and with her help, the group of 7 eliminate Roid Rage!
Eliminated, Roid Rage
Now with Roid Rage gone, the rest of the combatants start to notice who's all in there with them.
On one side of the ring, we have ITR and Greenberg.
On the other, Kallista, and Amarantha.
The two sets stare each other down...
And they collide!! Kallista goes after Greenberg, ITR goes after Amarantha!
Meanwhile, MR. PPV takes it to El Bastarde, as Sign Guy still remains out of danger, for the time being.
Styles: The ladies are duking it out, as PPV takes on INS!
Mr. PPV hits Bastarde with kicks, and let's everyone know that he's MR. P-P-V. The Whole FN SHO-Bastarde shuts him up with a punch to the jaw!
"Pay Windah Power Mix" hits, and out comes DoPlo! the last member of the mWo to show up here tonight. DoPlo rushes the ring, and avoids the ladies fighting, and goes right after Mr. PPV!
Lawler: Haha, there's DoPlo. WHere's FishPlo?
El Bastarde takes insult to this, and starts attacking DoPlo. Bastarde pulls a BURRITO out of his tights, and crams it in DoPlo's mouth! PPV hits DoPlo with the PPVDAMNINATOR! DoPlo flies over the top rope!
Eliminated, DoPlo
Meanwhile, Kallista throws Greenberg over the top rope, after a wild bat swing from ITR misses and hits Greenberg right in the back of the head!
Eliminated, Greenberg
Amarantha and Kallista double-team ITR, until Amarantha shoves Kallista out of the way, and then Kallista responds with a shove of her own. It develops into a THREESOME!!!...wait, ew.
"Driver Down" by Nine Inch Nails hits, and out comes the one, the only... KID RUSSO!
Russo comes down the aisle, hops in the ring, looks around...and goes after Sign Guy!
Ross: RUSSO! RUSSO! VAMPIRO! VAMPIRO!
Meanwhile, PPV and Bastarde are still duking it out, as are Amarantha, Kallista, and ITR. Kallista manages to grab ITR's bat, and hits ITR in the back with it, knocking her over the top rope!
Eliminated, InTheRafters
On the otherside, Sign Guy sees this, and then hits Russo with a low blow!
Kallista swings again, and hits Amarantha in the side of the head, sending her to the outside!
Eliminated, Amarantha
Kallista turns around, when from out of nowhere SIGN GUY HITS HER RIGHT IN THE CHIN WITH A SUPERKICK! KALLISTA GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!
Eliminated, Kallista
Sign Guy jumps in celebration, as he taunts Kallista from the outside.
Styles: SIGN GUY DUDLEY JUST ELIMINATED KALLISTA!
Kid Russo grabs ITR's bat, and positions himself, as if he were playing baseball. Sign Guy turns around and SMACK! A HOME RUN!!!!!!! SIGN GUY FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eliminated, Sign Guy Dudley
Just then, "The HUMPTY DANCE" by Digital Underground hits, and out steps James Elmo!!!
Elmo runs down to the ring, only to get hit by Kid Russo's bat! Russo then throws the bat to the outside, picks Elmo up in a vertical suplex hold...but turns it into a DIAMOND CUTTER!
Russo picks up Elmo, and tosses him to the outside, just as "No Chance In LWN Chat" hits.
Eliminated, James Elmo
and out comes the owner of LWN, J.J. McDerrick! the fans booooo!!!
Ross: It's Mr. McDerrick! That son of a-
McDerrick hits the ring, where Kid Russo immediately steps up to him! McDerrick can be heard: "YOU'RE BANNED!" Russo slaps McDerrick in the face, before one of McDerrick's lackey's, MR. PPV, running heel kicks Russo in the back of the head, causing him to fall to the outside!
Eliminated, Kid Russo
Just then, as Bastarde goes after PPV once more, "Sweet Home Alabama" hits, and out comes Rebel Yell! The fans cheer!
Rebel runs down and attacks J.J with ITR's bat!(That thing is still here!)
Reb beats down on McDerrick, as PPV tries to stop him, Reb hits PPV with the bat! Bastarde grabs PPV by the tights and flings him over the top rope!!
Eliminated, Mr. PPV
Bastarde cheers on Rebel Yell as he beats McDerrick over the top rope!
Eliminated, J.J. McDerrick
Reb stands victorious, looking out at McDerrick, as Bastarde walks up behind him and pushes him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Rebel Yell
El Bastarde stands alone in the ring as the fans go nuts!
Styles: Bastarde has cleared the ring!!!!
Then, "Bittersweet Symphany" hits, and out comes the one...the only... BIKER!!
Biker hits the ring, and squares off against Bastarde. They exchange put downs, but no one can understand them.
Ross: Do you guys understand a word they're saying?
Styles: No.
Lawler: I think Biker said something about www.audiogalaxy.com.
Biker locks Bastarde in a headlock, and Bastarde counters with a hammerlock.
While in the hammerlock...Biker reaches in his pocket...
He pulls out a SHIV!!! HE SHIVS BASTARDE, STABBING HIM IN THE LEFT THIGH!!
Ross: BIKER JUST STABBED BASTARDE!!! BRUTAL!
Styles: Biker learned that technique when he spent time in prison, for assault of a bldeedngi sas.
Bastarde cant believe it, as he starts to unload punches on Biker.
El Bastarde: I CANT BELEEVE YOU STABBED ME. IT IS REELY PAINFUL. YOU BEETCH!
Bastarde punches Biker into the corner, and then pulls out the shiv, tossing it to the outside. He then charges at Biker, and hits him with a corner clothesline! Biker walks out of the corner, and falls face first.
Bastarde begins to stomp on Biker, as suddenly, the lights go out, and
"1,000 Years" by Binary Test Record hits...and we see a green orb on the stage, and the man holding that orb... THE SILICON TOAD.
The lights stay off, until Toad reaches the ring...
Styles: It's perhaps the oddest man in wrestling history, The Silicon Toad!!
Lawler: What a loser. He cybered with some 40 year old vampire chick from 6 states over.
Toad enters the ring, as Bastarde gives him the weirdest look. Bastarde continues to stomp at Biker, until Toad invites Bastarde to bring it on. Bastarde obliges, and Toad and Bastarde engage in fisticuffs. Meanwhile, Biker rolls to the outside...
Toad locks on a sleeper hold on Bastarde! Bastarde struggles to get free, and does, and then you can hear him yell out:
El Bastarde: Eeeeew! STEENKEY ARMPEETS!!
Toad, enraged, charges at Bastarde, but Bastarde drops his toe with a hold. Like a drop toe hold. Get it? Retard.
Bastarde gets up, but Biker re-enters the ring with a steel chair, and hits Bastarde in the back with it!!!
Ross: I'll say it again, because it's so lame. THIS IS INSANE!
It's at this point, Queen's "We Are The Champions" hits, and out comes The Box Office Champion, Reno Starr. Starr is seen with Andy Rocker and Flower Girl, but he tells them to go back to the back, as he will take care of business.
Starr enters the ring, and hits Biker with the B.O.T.! Biker drops the chair, as Biker is rocked by the Title belt shot. The Toad picks up the chair, and clobbers Biker with it, knocking him to the ropes, and over them to the outside!
Eliminated, Biker
Reno and Toad both look at each other...and then both look at Bastarde, as they both walk towards Bastarde. The Bastard kicks Toad in the gut, Takes the chair from him, hits him with it in the gut, then hits Starr's raised Box Office Title belt, causing it and the chair to go into Starr's head!!
Styles: Oh! Bastarde clobbers Starr!
Toad recovers from the shot to the stomach, and knees Bastarde in the stomach, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Bastarde drops the chair, and Toad signals to the crowd, that he is going to do a move to Bastarde, onto the chair! Bastarde drops to his knees, and hits Toad with a brutal low blow! Bastarde picks up the chair again and hits Toad right on top of the head! Toad leans against the ropes!
Bastarde hits Toad again with the chair! Nothing happens, but then Bastarde swings the chair towards his face, and this time, the Toad flips backwards over the top rope, to the arena floor.
Eliminated, The Silicon Toad
The Toad hits hard, as Bastarde watches him fall all the way down.
Ross: I hope Myst is watching in the back, because that lying bastard just got eliminated!
Bastarde turns around to see a charging Reno Starr! Starr clotheslines Bastarde OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eliminated, El Bastarde
Reno Starr starts celebrating, as the fans cheer!
Winner of the Efed Gimmick Battle Royal, Reno Starr
Bastarde cant believe it, on the outside, as he makes his way to the back. The Toad, on the other hand, leaves through the crowd.
JR: Reno Starr, Reno Starr! I cant believe it!
Suddenly...an ambulance's siren is heard, once more.
Lawler: What now?
The mWo ambulance is back! it pulls up to the ring, and a masked man in black gets out.
Styles: Who the hell? Last time, DC was driving that thing...I figured it went off some cliff and killed Smackdown, Really Crazy, Wickit, Hey Kid, and Kareem!
JR: It might have...
The man in black enters the ring, and extends his hand to a cautious Reno Starr. Reno takes it, and the man shakes his hand.
Ross: What the hell?
Then, the man in black pulls Reno towards him, locks him up, and hits him with a straight BRAINBUSTER! Reno is out cold!
Styles: What the hell???
The man in black then asks for a mic, and then stands in the middle of the ring, and clutches his mask...
He pulls at it...and then, pulls it off, to reveal...
None other than...
Y2A ANDREW LEIGH!!!!!
The fans go crazy, in shock!
Ross- My God! My GOD! Y2A is BACK! Y2A IS BACK IN ICW!
Styles- Don't act so surprised, JR! 'Twas only a matter of time till the greatest LWN Champion of all time made his return!
The crowd reacts with a large amount of astonishment at the exposure of the masked man as Y2A. Their reaction is mostly mixed, as the true diehard ICW fans never took a liking to Y2A, even when he was the ICW World Champion. But there were some scattered cheers, as Y2A did have a strong fan base during his brief ICW reign. As Y2A paces around the ring, a small "Y2A, Y2A, Y2A" chant breaks out amongst a small group of fans. The chant continues, right as Y2A begins to address the crowd.
Y2A- Who the hell do you people think you are, addressing me by that highly offensive name? Oh wait, I shouldn't have even bothered to ask. I already knew the answer to that one. You're nothing but a band of toothless, homeless, education-less, classless savages who stumbled into this arena just to blindly cheer for whoever tells them what they want to hear. Now a wave of boos rise up from the crowd, no longer the mixed reaction Y2A got upon his arrival.
Ross- Different times, same old pompous, arrogant and sarcastic Y2A!
Lawler- That's Andrew Leigh to you, JR!
Y2A- Well, as easy as it may be, I didn't come out here to insult the so-called "fans", nor did I come out to crash this highly boring, highly useless "gimmick rumble"! Oh no, my purpose is much more interesting and far more important then just playing the role of "party crasher"!
Y2A lowers the microphone, just as the crowd starts up another, louder and wider, "Y-2-A, Y-2-A" chant, mocking the fact that Y2A doesn't want to be called..Y2A.confusing, eh? Y2A paces around the ring, with his expression changing from relaxed to almost livid
Y2A- This.is the last time I'll say it.MY NAME, the person standing in the ring talking on the mic, me, right here, not that guy, ME my name, IS ANDREW LEIGH!
Y2A's little tirade just intensifies the crowd's chants! Y2A stomps his foot in the ring and begins to scan the crowd, muttering to himself.
Ross- Looks like Y2A is having trouble facing the fact that his old gimmick was the main thing that made him a bigtime player in wrestling!
Styles- Hey, the man has had the type of career that merits him being able to be called whatever he prefers!
Lawler- Just like he prefers you to call him one of the New Kids On The Block?
Styles-what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Ross- Let's just move on!
Focus returns to Y2A, who is ready to continue his tirade.
Y2A- Anyway, as you should be able to plainly see, I've made my official return to wrestling. And I've come to recapture the one title that defined my career, which pushed me in the direction of greatness, where I rest today. And, before my time in ICW comes to an end, I will reclaim that title, and out-talent and out-class those that stand in my way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a legendary career to continue, and as Mr. Reno Starr here can tell you, no one will stand in my way.
Y2A exits the ring, and walks back up the ramp, leaving the ambulance ringside, still.
The camera cuts back to Reno Starr, who is still out cold...
Ross: I can't believe it! Andrew Leigh, is back?
Styles: HAHAHA, WHO'S THE MAN?
Lawler: Damn, you're a little bitch.
Ross: Well folks...while we get this all figured out...Damn, Andrew Leigh! Uh...let's...take a...not a commercial...hmm..lets uhh.. YEAH!
Styles: That's right, JR...all of your favorite Efed Gimmicks will be here, from LWN-spawned efeds, on this night of LWN and efed history.
Lawler: Hey, you two were some of the best gimmicks, why arent you in there? HAHA!
Ross: Well, at least I'm not the "King".
Styles: Mabel made a better king than you.
Lawler: You little bastard, you watch your mouth.
Styles: Hey, it would suck to have someone like Stacy Carter divorce you, huh? Damn...that would suck...
Lawler: ARGH!
Ross: Here are the rules, folks...this is a Royal Rumble style match. IT would be a normal battle royal, but that sucks and Dave doesnt want to write it like that. Wow, what just came over me? Who's Dave?
Camera cuts to the ring, where we see Howard Finkel.
The Fink: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Gimmick Rumble. Every two minutes another entrant will come down the ring. When a superstar is thrown OVER the top rope, and both feet touch the floor, they are eliminated. The last superstar remaining, will be declared the winner!
"Disco Inferno" hits, and the crowd starts to cheer. Why, they dont know...maybe to see a classic efed superstar, but...no...what do we get?
Ross: It's Masta Sexay!
Masta Sexay strolls down the aisle, and rolls into the ring, as the fans boo tremendously. Sexay grabs a mic, and begins to speak...
MASTA SEXAY: HEY WHATS UP PEOPLE I KNOW YOU CAME TO SEE ME DANCE HERE TONITE SO I GUESS I SHOULD PROBABLY DANCE.
Masta dances...poorly.
MASTA SEXAY: YAH BABY THATS WHAT I THOUGHT NOW TIME TO CRUSH MY OPPONENT WHOEVER IT MIGHT BE.
"The Game" by Motorhead hits, and out walks... The Game.
The Game looks at the crowd. THEY DONT KNOW WHO HE IS!
JR: Doesnt this remind you of the Insane Rumble II?
Styles: Eeeerie.
The Game rolls into the ring
THE GAME: HEY PEOPLE WHATS UP IM GOING TO BEAT DOWN THIS DORKUS MASTA SEXAY RIGHT NOW.
MASTA SEXAY: YOU SHUT UP SHUT UP RIGHT NOW YOU STOLE MY NINTENDO.
THE GAME: I JUST ASKED TO BORROW IT
MASTA SEXAY: NO MEANIE YOU STOLE IT AND ITS MINE AND YOU TOOK IT FROM ME YOU WENT INTO MY ROOM WHEN I WASNT HOME.
THE GAME: MOM SAID IT WAS OK TO BORROW IT.
MASTA SEXAY: MOM DOESNT MATTER NOW YOU WILL SUFFER.
THE GAME: ALL YOUR NINTENDOS ARE BELONG TO US.
And the bell rings and the match begins, as these two men? start locking up, in the old-collar elbow position.
And they stay locked up...
and they stay locked up...
ZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZz
JR: This is...uh...well, it's not a slobberknocker.
After the inevitable two minutes, the timer goes off...
10....9....8....7....6.....5....4.....3....2....1!
"I'm A Slave For You" by Britney Spears hits, and out comes High Risk!
He immediately joins the fray, and...LOCKS UP IN THE COLLAR ELBOW TIEUP, its a three way!
Styles: Wow, you'd have thought I've seen that before...but I havent.
Two more minutes go by, like THAT, and the countdown begins:
10...9...8...7....6...5...4...3...2...1!
The buzzer goes off and...it's.... Methane Man! Who comes to the ring with "Da Rockwilder" by Method Man and Redman. I mean come on, thats where he got the name, right? Or he farts a lot...
JR: Wow, look at this! These four men? are in the ring...and they're all standing there, arguing!
Lawler: It's like they're related!
Styles: Look, it's turned into a brawl!
All four men go at it, trading blows in the center of the ring.
They all get split up, with The Game throwing all of them off of him. The game knocks Masta Sexay to one corner, Methane Man to the other. Masta Sexay and Methane Man both hook up again, I guess thats the only move they know.
Masta Sexay and Methane Man get to close to the ropes though, and they spill out to the floor, still tangled up.
Eliminated, Masta Sexay
Eliminated, Methane Man
As High Risk and The Game duke it out in the middle of the ring, the timer starts once again...
10...9...8......7.....6.....5.....4.....3.....2....1!
"I'm The Biggest One" by They Might Be Giants hits, and out steps a mountain of a man... Yokozuna X!
He RUNS down to the ring, and slides into it, causing a ripple effect on the canvas, and his 8 chins.
JR: OOh, the big man is here, Yokozuna X!
Styles: It's JOBBER X TIME!
Yoko X gets up and goes to work on The Game and High Risk. Yoko keester klobbers High Risk, and he goes over the top rope!
Eliminated, High Risk
Yoko then pulls The Game in close, puts him in a bear hug, and slams him down with the Yoko Slam!
Yoko then picks The Game up over his head, and tosses him into the arms of High Risk, over the top rope.
Eliminated, The Game
The four men who were just eliminated continue their brawl, up the ramp.
JR: Looks like that feud is STILL long from finished.
Lawler: Yokozuna X really cleared the ring...kinda like how he clears the dinner table! HAHA!
The countdown begins, once more...
10....9.....8.....7......6.....5.....4.....3....2....1!
The buzzer goes off, and we hear:
"YOU ALL KNOW THAT THE WOMBI-WHOMP STEALS THE SHOW!!"
And the Star Wars theme plays, and everyone's favorite Wookie comes out, Wombi!
Styles: CHEWBACCA!
Lawler: CHEWIE!!!
Styles: WHoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa WHAT A WOOKIE!
Wombi runs down and slides into the ring, to a huge pop. He gets in the ring with his trusty crossbow but Yoko soon snatches it away, and EATS IT! He then rubs his belly, as he tries to run down Wombi, who manages to evade him. Wombi starts to run circles around Yoko, as he is fat.
Yoko tries a SUPERKICK! But Wombi ducks. Wombi punches Yoko in the head, and kicks him in the shin.
JR: Dirty!
Wombi then climbs the top rope...as Yoko is holding his shin, in extreme pain, Wombi flies off, does a flip, chops Yoko in the head, and lands on his feet!
Styles: It's the WOMBI-WHOMP!
Yoko goes down, as the fans go nuts. Wombi stands over his fallen foe, and places his hand out inf ront of his crotch.
Lawler: Oh no, not this!
The crowd can sense it, as they become electrified...for the most ELECTRIFYING DANCE IN THE WORLD... THE WOMBI-WIGGLE!!!!
The fans go crazy as Wombi Wiggles, as the countdown begins again!
10....9....8....7....6.....5....4...3....2....1!
"American Pie/All-Star" hits and out come The FILTHY MAMMALS! nWo-2k and Crowmaniac!
They bum rush the ring, and attack Wombi as he wiggles.
JR: They've come to kill Wombi!
Styles: They're going to make a rug out of him!
They both knock him down, and begin to stomp.
Wombi seems helpless, until Yoko X gets up and knocks The Mammals off of him. Yoko headbutts nWo-2k, and he falls down. He grabs Crowmaniac by the hair, and lobs him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Crowmaniac
Wombi gets up, and he and Yoko double team nWo-2k.
Wombi tries to lift nWo-2k over the top, and motions for Yoko to help him out. Wombi struggles as Yoko stands and watches. Yoko then shoves BOTH MEN over the top rope!
Eliminated, nWo-2k
Eliminated, Wombi
Yoko turns around and plays to the crowd, as Wombi and 2K hit the floor hard.
JR: You dont mess with Jobber X!
The countdown begins again:
10...9.....8.....7......6.....5.....4....3....2....1!
"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC hits, and out comes... The TAZMANIAN GIANT! the crowd oohs, and ahhs.
Taz Giant walks to the ring, enters the ring via the top rope, and goes right after Yoko X.
Styles: It's the battle of the two LWN Giants!
Lawler: I wouldnt call Yoko X a giant...he's just...fat.
Taz Giant hits Yoko X with a big boot to the face. Yoko X retaliates with a standing clothesline, only rocking the Giant.
The Giant swings Yoko into the ropes, and catches him with a beely to beely suplex!
JR: Wow, he suplexed Yokozuna X!
Taz Giant taunts the fallen Yoko X, and begins to stomp him down. He follows up with a brutal elbow drop!
JR: Fans, it's a good time to tell you, this Gimmick Rumble is brought to you by Cheez-Its and Big Red soda. Why? Because that's what Dave is eating and drinking right now...sorry, I dunno what came over me, once again.
Taz Giant tells the fans who the real true giant of wrestling is...and then:
10...9....8....7....6....5...4...3....2...1!
Off goes the buzzer, and it's "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie, meaning Hey Kid!
Styles: It's the Kiddster!
His head is shaven with the message: "I am Dave Dudley's Bitch."
He runs into the ring and gives a flying forearm to Tazmanian Giant!
The giant doesnt fall down, instead he grabs Hey Kid and slams him down with a brutal powerslam!
Hey Kid cowers in the corner, feeling the effects...
Lawler: Hah, look at that Hey Kid. He'll never amount to anything!
JR: This isnt 1999, Jerry.
Styles: And what's up with the timer? That's not two minu-
JR: SHHHHHH!
The Giant proves his strength by lifting up Yoko and placing him on the top turnbuckle. The giant joins him up there, and puts his back to the outside area, towards the Spanish announcers table. He hooks up the massive Yoko, and Belly to belly suplexes Yoko, landing in a Splash, through the announcers table!
Of course, doesnt this mean both men are eliminated?
Styles: SHEET, SHEET, SHEET!
Lawler: Mexican translation= OH, MY, GOD!
JR: Of course, this means both men are eliminated.
Told ya so.
Eliminated, Yokozuna X
Eliminated, The Tazmanian Giant
Hey Kid is still in the ring, laughing at the two giant fools.
The countdown starts:
10...9....87654321!
"Something by That one artist" hits and out comes...THE HARDCORE MACHINE... WICKIT!
Wickit his the ring and spears Hey Kid!
Lawler: Great, we go from having Wookies, to Ewoks. What a world.
Styles: These two men have history together!
JR: Doesnt everyone, in this match, have history together, one way or another?
Styles: Shutup.
Hey Kid and Wickit fight for a few minutes..and to make a long story short:
10987654321 BLASTOFF
"Some Rap Song" hits and out comes KAREEM!
Kareem hits the ring, with a kendo stick, and starts to go to work on Hey Kid. Wickit continues to stomp HK, as well.
Lawler: KAKKALAKKAKAKAKAKAKA
JR: It's Team 4:20 taking out the Hey Kid! What a total debacle!
Elapsed time: Who knows?
10....9....8....7....6....5....4....3...2.....1!
"Patriotism" by Company Flow hits, and out runs The Insane Leechador, REALLY CRAZY!
He runs down with a steel chair!
RC slides into the ring, and nails Kareem! He nails Wickit!
Styles: It's Team 4:20 vs. The Hardcore Revolution! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
RC raises up the chair, the fans go nuts! Wickit and Kareem are both down, holding their heads.
HK gets up, and looks at the two fallen teammates, and starts to curse them...he then looks at Really Crazy, and RC HITS HIM WITH THE CHAIR!
Hey Kid goes down in a heap of jabroni.
Styles: OH MY GOD!
JR: WHAT THE HELL?
Lawler: WOO HOO!
RC drops the chair, and begins to stomp away on Kareem.
Wickit gets up, and goes after Hey Kid.
The four pair off in opposite corners, going at it until the next buzzer goes off...
10....9....8....7.....6......5.....4....3....2....1
An ambulance siren fills the arena...followed by sounds of insane laughter, followed by Chris Jericho's music.
An ambulance comes from the back of the building, and parks at ringside. From the driver's seat emerges... Smackdown!
Smackdown comes into the ring carrying two garbage can lids, and immediately smacks them across Really Crazy's head. Smackdown reaches in his pocket, and hits Kareem with some brass knuckles, right in the nose, busting him open!
JR: It's LWN's Smackdown!!! And he's insane!
Smackdown then picks up Really Crazy's steel chair and whacks Wickit with it, right in the head. SD goes to hit Hey Kid, but HK ducks, and retaliates with a superkick right into the steel chair, right into Smackdown's face! He goes down, as Hey Kid goes over to Really Crazy and picks him up by the shirt, and starts to ask "What was up with hitting me?
Before Crazy can answer, Kareem comes flying to the corner with the steel chair! HK ducks, and Kareem runs right into RC, they both go down.
10....9....8...7...6...5.....4.....3....2....1
"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath hits, and out runs the Irish Luchadore, PAIN!
Pain slides into the ring, and immediately goes after Hey Kid. Pain picks up HK and throws him into Smackdown, who is waiting with a steel chair, and hits HK right in the side of the head.
Styles: There's the one true Irish Luchadore, Pain!
Smackdown then throws the chair at Pain, and starts to charge him. Pain moves out of the way as SD goes past him, and hits SD in the back with the chair!
Wickit and Kareem resume double teaming Really Crazy in the corner, as Pain and Smackdown go at it in the middle of the ring.
Hey Kid slides under the bottom rope, and looks under the ring apron...he finds a BARBED-WIRE STEEL CHAIR! HK slides back into the ring and BUSTS Wickit in the head with the chair, busting him open! HK then does the same to Kareem, and then does the same to Really Crazy!
10...9.....8....7.....6......5.....4.....3....2....1
"Dies Irae" by Mozart hits, and out comes New Jack 187! He is dragging a plastic trash can full of items with him!
He hits the ring, and throws the trash can in there. Before going in, he drags Smackdown out of the ring, and starts to beat on him on the outside! He grabs a broomstick and busts it over the back of Smackdown's neck. New Jack then looks under the ring, and pulls out a table!
He kicks Smackdown in the gut, and NEW JACK SUPREME Spinebuster through the table!
New Jack slides into the ring and hits Hey Kid with a Ninten
Lawler: Hey, maybe that was The Game's Nintendo...
He then puts a noose around Wickit's neck, and throws him over the top rope! His feet dont touch the floor, however, but he is being hung! He manages to get back in the ring, however, as Really Crazy fights with Kareem, New Jack fights with Pain, and Smackdown lies out cold on the outside.
10...9....8....7....6....5.....4....3....2....1
"Happiness Is All The Rage" by the Promise Ring hits and out comes Phreak!
Phreak runs down to the ring, and hits New Jack with a running dropkick! He then starts to punch away on Pain, as Smackdown rolls back into the ring.
JR: Here comes the angry rocker himself!
Hey Kid hits Wickit with the chair, in the back, as Really Crazy gives Kareem a low blow, and clotheslines him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Kareem
Hey Kid and Really Crazy stare each other down for a moment, before they both give a double superkick to Smackdown, who has just gotten to his feet!
10...9....8....7....6.....5.....4.....3....2....1
"Revolution Is My Name" by Pantera hits, and out comes Jayson Annhilation!
Jayson hits the ring, and immediately goes to work on Pain! He kicks Pain in the gut, after a few punches, and then grabs him and tosses him to the outside! Pain flies over the top rope, and BOUNCES OFF OF THE SIDE OF THE AMBULANCE!
Eliminated, Pain
New Jack goes to hit Jayson with a kendo stick he pulled from his garbage can of tricks, but Jayson blocks with his hands, pulls the stick away, and beats on New Jack!
Styles: Jay is kicking ASS!
New Jack gets beat down to the canvas, as Phreak comes up behind Jayson and hits him with a running bulldog! Jayson goes down, just as Wickit knocks down Hey Kid with a clothesline, and Really Crazy goes to work on Smackdown.
10....9....8.....7.....6.....5.....4.....3......2....1
"Chariots Of Fire" hits, and out comes Omar Parker! Omar rushes down to the ring, and goes after Phreak, who has his back turned. Phreak spins around and goes with Parker's momentum, and tosses him to the outside!
Eliminated, Omar Parker
Kareem then re-enters the ring, and pulls the rope down as Wickit whips Hey Kid into the ropes! Hey Kid goes over the top!
Eliminated, Hey Kid
Hey Kid and Kareem battle it out on the outside, as Really Crazy and Wickit do battle in the ring.
10...9....8...7....6...5....4...3....2...1
"Dig" by Mudvayne hits, and out comes Icychiller!
Icychiller hits the ring, and goes after New Jack 187! He spears, and then starts to punch him.
On the outside, HK and Kareem fight near the ambulance, using it to slam each other's heads into and whatnot.
Wickit goes to toss Really Crazy out, but RC reverses and throws Wickit out!
Eliminated, Wickit
RC then bounces off the side of the ropes and jumps over the top rope with a suicide dive-like move into Kareem, into the ambulance!
Eliminated, Really Crazy
Icychiller then tries to toss New Jack out, but is unsuccessful, as Smackdown blindsides him from the back.
10...9....8....7....6....5....4....3....2...1
"Chariots of Fire" hits once again, and here comes Braden Blaze!
Blaze immediately hits the ring, and throws out Phreak! Phreak didnt even see it coming!
Eliminated, Phreak
But, from behind, Smackdown eliminates Blaze, by a clothesline to the back of Braden's neck!
Eliminated, Braden Blaze
Jayson hits Smackdown with a steel chair, and Smacky goes down. So now the only two left standing in the ring are Jayson, and New Jack, and the two tangle up!
1...2...3....4....5...6..7...8..9...10 (wonder if anyone's actually reading this?)
Kane's theme music hits and out comes Blackheart!
He stops at the ramp, and speaks on the mic:
Blackheart: ENJOY THIS FIGHT. IT WILL BE YOUR LAST.
He then rushes the ring, and picks up a chair, knocking New Jack, Jayson, Smackdown, and Icy down. Icy gets back up, but Blackheart hits him again, this time the force knocks Icy to the outside!
Eliminated, Icychiller
The same fate happens for Jayson!
Eliminated, Jayson Annhilation
Smackdown manages to get to his feet and toss New Jack over the top rope, as New Jack is woozy from another chairshot courtesy of Blackheart.
Eliminated, New Jack 187
Smackdown and Blackheart then stare each other down...
10...9....8....7...6...5...4...3...2...1
"40 Ounces To Freedom" by Sublime hits, and out comes Twisted Crazy!
he hits the ring, and Smackdown and Blackheart both team up to clothesline him over the top rope!
JR: Here comes the Twisted One...and there...he goes.
Eliminated, Twisted Crazy
Blackheart and Smackdown then continue to stare each other down, as Blackheart remains still until the timer starts up again...
10...9....8....7...6...5...4...3...2..1
"Tubthumper" by Chumbawumba hits, and out comes DC who looks like he's had a little too much to drink...
he staggers into the ring, and Blackheart eliminates him via big boot to the face.
Eliminated, DC
DC lands right next to the ambulance, where Really Crazy, Hey Kid, Wickit, and Kareem are all laying in the back, beaten up and bloody.
DC gets up, wobbly, and starts to head for the cab of the ambulance.
In the ring, Blackheart stares down, Smackdown. Smackdown rolls to the outside, and grabs a mic:
Smackdown: Hey, It'd be really nice if someone from say, the mWo came out and helped me here! This guy is scary, and I suck!
10...9....8....7....6....5...4...3...2...1
"Who Let The Dogs Out" hits, and out comes mWo Benji!!!
Smackdown, happy that his pet dog has come to save him rolls back into the ring. Benji is carried down to the ring by Jeeves, who sets Benji into the ring.[/i]
Styles: OH...MY....GOD!!!! ITS BENJI!!!!
Benji looks at Smackdown...looks at Blackheart...looks at Smackdown...and SUPERKICKS SMACKDOWN!!!
Smackdown goes flying over the top rope!!!
Eliminated, Smackdown
Smackdown lands right next to the ambulance, where DC Picks him up, and throws him into the ambulance along with Team 4:20 and The Hardcore Revolution, and slams the door shut...
DC them pulls out a bottle of King Cobra and throws it back.
DC: *hic*...I think...I think I'm gunna go fer a drive...
DC gets into the drivers seat, and drives the ambulance away...
Lawler: No! Don't let that idiot drive, dont you remember what happens when he drives? DEATH!
Meanwhile, Blackheart and Benji are still in the ring. Benji demonstrates his proficiency in karate, but Blackheart picks the small dog up, and TOSSES HIM INTO THE CROWD!!! A 200 FOOT THROW, AT THE LEAST!!!
Eliminated, mWo Benji
Blackheart stands triumphantly in the ring, the only man at the moment.
10....9....8...7....6..5...4...3...2...1
Pearl Jam's "Do The Evolution, Baby" hits, and out comes founder of EWA, Evolution!
Evo charges the ring, and immediately gets into it with Blackheart. The two trade punches for a minute, until Blackheart catches Evo in a headlock. Evo bounces Blackheart off the ropes, and knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Evo then runs off the ropes again to build momentum, but Blackheart springs to his feet, follows Evo, and brutally SPEARS HIM ON THE ROPES, causing Evo to flip over the top rope!
Eliminated, Evolution
Blackheart once again stands tall in the ring, as the camera cuts to the back.
It's a shot of Dave Dudley telling some kind of tech person something...
Dave Dudley: Cue the next person now, and everyone else when I say. NOW, DAMNIT!
"Testify" by Rage Against The Machine hits, and out runs Sign Guy Dudley!!!! Sign Guy hits the ring, punches Blackheart in the crotch, and throws him over the top rope!!
Eliminated, Blackheart
Sign Guy stands looking at the entrance, and motions to "bring it".
The camera cuts back to Dave Dudley in the back:
Dave Dudley: Just keeeeep em comin, this thing's run too long as it is.
JR: Damnit, the owner of this damn company is taking control, he's almost rigging this Battle Royal!
"The Silent Hill Music" plays, and out runs Harry Mason!
Mason hits the ring, gets kicked by Sign Guy, SIGN GUY STUNNER!, Mason is rocked, Sign Guy tosses him over the top!
Eliminated, Harry Mason
Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" hits, and out comes Timster, and Neo, EXTREME MEASURES!
They hit the ring, and Sign Guy produces a yardstick from his pants. WHere'd he get that? He cracks them both with the yardstick, and delivers a DOUBLE SIGN GUY STUNNER! Timster oversells it, and flips over the top rope, whereas Neo gets tossed by Sign Guy, getting made famous in the process.
Eliminated, Timster
Eliminated, Neo
Sign Guy turns around to hear "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy Elliot, and he sees THE CHINESE MOFIA, KANG AND WANG rush the ring. Kang is the first to hit the ring, and Sign Guy simply tosses him out by the hair. Wang hits second, and SIGN GUY HITS WANG! Wang gets whipped into the ropes, and backdropped over the top rope by an awaiting Sign Guy.
Eliminated, Kang
Eliminated, Wang
"Bob's Bacon Barn" hits, and out comes AVATAR!!
Avatar hit's the ring, and Sign Guy hits him with a SUPERKICK TO THE GROIN!!!! Avatar grimices in pain, as Sign Guy clotheslines the bastard over the top rope!
Eliminated, Avatar
Sign Guy turns around to hear Godsmack's "Voodoo", and to see Dijbouti Dan come down the aisle.
Dan enters the ring slowly, and exits quickly, as Sign Guy makes short work of him.
Eliminated, Dijbouti Dan
Sign Guy awaits the next entrant...
"So Hardcore" by Busta Rhymes hits, as DKnoch comes down to the ring! He hesitates to enter the ring, and then finally does, catching Signie off guard.
Knoch gets the upper hand on Sign Guy, as "So Hardcore" hits again, and Jim Hacksaw comes down the aisle!
Hacksaw enters the ring, and joins DKnoch in beating Sign Guy down. Suddenly, "So Hardcore" hits once again, and out comes Mercury! Mercury runs down to the ring, smiling, as he also joins his New Era faction buddies!
JR: Sign Guy, after eliminating numerous men, is now at the mercy of the New Era! Dave's plan has come back to bite him on the ass!
Sign Guy is getting triple teamed, as "Mic Check" by RATM hits, and out come THE REBELS! Kottonbomb, The Ice, and Rocky(although he wasnt REALLY a rebel, he was like for a night or something, right? Right.) They rush the ring and attack the New Era!
Sign Guy manages to crawl into a corner as this 6 man brawl ensues!
Suddenly, "Debonaire" by DOPE hits(sure, its Amalek's old music, but just hold on a second.) and out comes MEMBERS OF THE TRIPLE THREAT + 1! Simeon, Stone Cold Stoonky, 148-813, and 148-814. They hit the ring and join the fray, as well!
As these 10 men are going at it, "Gay Music" by Some Faggot hits, and out comes Andrew Attitude, and his friend, Dan Downtown! They enter the fight too!
Styles: THIS IS INSANE!
And if that's not enough, "The Halloween Theme" hits, and here comes the THEATER OF PAIN, MASKED WARRIOR, AND VANQUISH! Now its a 14 man brawl, the ring is filled with combatants!!
JR: IT'S A 14 MAN BRAWL!!! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!
Suddenly, "Could Be Worse" by the Dingees hits, but no one comes down the aisle. Seconds later, we see none other than INTHERAFTERS come zooming down on a zipline, landing right in the center of the ring, toting her black aluminum baseball bat!!!
Lawler: AHHHH!
Ross: IT'S ITR, ITR!
She starts swinging, and bodies go flying!
Eliminated, Stone Cold Stoonky
Eliminated, Jim Hacksaw
Eliminated, Dan Downtown
Eliminated, Kottonbomb
Eliminated, 148-814
Eliminated, DKnoch
Eliminated, Vanquish
Eliminated, The Ice
Eliminated, 148-813
Eliminated, Mercury
Eliminated, Simeon
Eliminated, Rocky
ITR stops swinging, and the only people left in the ring besides her are Sign Guy, Masked Warrior, and Andrew Attitude.
Styles: ITR just cleaned house!!!
"Mudshovel" by Staind hits, and out comes Eclypse! She runs down to the ring, and goes after Andrew Attitude, who stops her, and offers her some money...
She takes the money, and then turns around. Andrew starts to go after her when her back is turned but she turns around, grabs him by the neck , and flings him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Andrew Attitude
Sign Guy grabs ITR's bat from her real quick, and as Eclypse turns around from throwing AA out, HE BUSTS HER IN THE FACE WITH THE BAT, AND SHE GOES FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eliminated, Eclypse
Sign Guy returns the bat to ITR, as she just stares at him...he backs off, because she looks weird. Masked Warrior then goes after Sign Guy, as "Money Is My Bitch" by Nas hits, and out comes Wesley "Platinum" Perry!
He hits the ring, does a dance, ITR clubs him in the face, and he goes over the top rope.
Eliminated, Wesley "Platinum" Perry
Masked Warrior puts Sign Guy in the Warrior's dream, but Sign Guy wiggles free, and gives him a SIGN GUY STUNNER! Warrior, dazed, is easy pickings for the Sign Guy clothesline over the top rope.
Eliminated, Masked Warrior
Now, ITR and Sign Guy stare each other down...ITR points her big black....
bat...at Sign Guy, as "Gently" by Slipknot plays, as Don "The Death Dealer" Sampson comes out!
The Death Dealer hits the ring, but ITR and Sign Guy team up to double clothesline him over the top!
Eliminated, Don "The Death Dealer" Sampson
ITR and Sign Guy stare each other down again, as Sampson cries on the outside, ripping off his mask to reveal none other than... THE HARDCORE KID! He pouts and GUHS as he leaves the ringside area.[/i]
Styles: What the hell was The Hardcore Kid doing dressed up as The Deathdealer?
Lawler: haha, he had to get in some how, he sucked too badly as the Hardcore Kid!
Now, "Behind Space" by In Flames hits, and out comes Omega X, to a chorus of cheers! He rushes the ring, and immediately starts to attack ITR. Sign Guy sits back and watches, with a smile on his face.
As OX beats on ITR, Bjork's "Army Of Me" hits, and out comes Roid Rage!
Roid Rage enters the ring, just as OX seemingly has ITR eliminated. Rage stops the elimination, as OX pushes Roidster off of him. Rage doesnt like this, and grabs OX by the throat. He chokes him down, until ITR hits Roid Rage in the shoulder with her bat!
JR: Roid Rage is a MONSTER!!
Rage isnt affected, he looks up, and grabs ITR by the throat too!
Sign Guy comes over and superkicks RR right in the crotch!
No effect!
Styles: Years of steroid abuse has left Roid Rage with little to no genitals.
RR lets go of ITR, and pursues Sign Guy, while still clutching OX, as the next entrant enters, and that entrant is... EL BASTARDE! "Oyo Como Va" by Santana hits, and The Bastard runs down the aisle!
Ross: BASTARDE, BASTARDE!
El Bastarde hits the ring, and goes to work on Roid Rage, as Rage releases OX. OX, choked to unconciousness, is picked up by Sign Guy and tossed over the top rope.(Cheap)
Eliminated, Omega X
ITR gets back to her feet and clubs away on RR with her bat, as Bastarde and Sign Guy both work on taking the massive freak down.
Suddenly, "I Could Never Be Your Woman" by White Town hits, and out comes Greenberg!
Greenberg rushes down to help out her partner DrDrELeiGh: she was ITR's gay lover. DrDrELeiGh: actually DrDrELeiGh: since ITR had a floppy donkey dick, she was her hetero lover
Where did that come from? Well, ITR, if you're reading, I did not make fun of you. It was all Andrew.
Greenberg enters the ring and now its 4 on 1 on Roid Rage, Greenberg, ITR, El Bastarde, and Sign Guy all working together, to try and bring this massive man down.
"Starfuckers, Inc." by Nine Inch Nails hits, and signals the arrival of the AMARANTHA!
Amarantha runs down to the ring, and helps like everyone else is, to get rid of Roid Rage...but it's still not enough!
They're all beating on RR, but it's not quite enough. "Holla, Holla" by Ja Rule hits, and out comes THE WHOLE FN SHOW, MR. PPV!
PPV runs down, and he goes after RR too, but they still cant manage to toss the man over the top rope!!
Ross: Business is picking up!
The stage lights go off, but no music is heard, as KALLISTA makes her way down to the ring, very slowly, to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
Kallista enters the ring, and with her help, the group of 7 eliminate Roid Rage!
Eliminated, Roid Rage
Now with Roid Rage gone, the rest of the combatants start to notice who's all in there with them.
On one side of the ring, we have ITR and Greenberg.
On the other, Kallista, and Amarantha.
The two sets stare each other down...
And they collide!! Kallista goes after Greenberg, ITR goes after Amarantha!
Meanwhile, MR. PPV takes it to El Bastarde, as Sign Guy still remains out of danger, for the time being.
Styles: The ladies are duking it out, as PPV takes on INS!
Mr. PPV hits Bastarde with kicks, and let's everyone know that he's MR. P-P-V. The Whole FN SHO-Bastarde shuts him up with a punch to the jaw!
"Pay Windah Power Mix" hits, and out comes DoPlo! the last member of the mWo to show up here tonight. DoPlo rushes the ring, and avoids the ladies fighting, and goes right after Mr. PPV!
Lawler: Haha, there's DoPlo. WHere's FishPlo?
El Bastarde takes insult to this, and starts attacking DoPlo. Bastarde pulls a BURRITO out of his tights, and crams it in DoPlo's mouth! PPV hits DoPlo with the PPVDAMNINATOR! DoPlo flies over the top rope!
Eliminated, DoPlo
Meanwhile, Kallista throws Greenberg over the top rope, after a wild bat swing from ITR misses and hits Greenberg right in the back of the head!
Eliminated, Greenberg
Amarantha and Kallista double-team ITR, until Amarantha shoves Kallista out of the way, and then Kallista responds with a shove of her own. It develops into a THREESOME!!!...wait, ew.
"Driver Down" by Nine Inch Nails hits, and out comes the one, the only... KID RUSSO!
Russo comes down the aisle, hops in the ring, looks around...and goes after Sign Guy!
Ross: RUSSO! RUSSO! VAMPIRO! VAMPIRO!
Meanwhile, PPV and Bastarde are still duking it out, as are Amarantha, Kallista, and ITR. Kallista manages to grab ITR's bat, and hits ITR in the back with it, knocking her over the top rope!
Eliminated, InTheRafters
On the otherside, Sign Guy sees this, and then hits Russo with a low blow!
Kallista swings again, and hits Amarantha in the side of the head, sending her to the outside!
Eliminated, Amarantha
Kallista turns around, when from out of nowhere SIGN GUY HITS HER RIGHT IN THE CHIN WITH A SUPERKICK! KALLISTA GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!
Eliminated, Kallista
Sign Guy jumps in celebration, as he taunts Kallista from the outside.
Styles: SIGN GUY DUDLEY JUST ELIMINATED KALLISTA!
Kid Russo grabs ITR's bat, and positions himself, as if he were playing baseball. Sign Guy turns around and SMACK! A HOME RUN!!!!!!! SIGN GUY FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eliminated, Sign Guy Dudley
Just then, "The HUMPTY DANCE" by Digital Underground hits, and out steps James Elmo!!!
Elmo runs down to the ring, only to get hit by Kid Russo's bat! Russo then throws the bat to the outside, picks Elmo up in a vertical suplex hold...but turns it into a DIAMOND CUTTER!
Russo picks up Elmo, and tosses him to the outside, just as "No Chance In LWN Chat" hits.
Eliminated, James Elmo
and out comes the owner of LWN, J.J. McDerrick! the fans booooo!!!
Ross: It's Mr. McDerrick! That son of a-
McDerrick hits the ring, where Kid Russo immediately steps up to him! McDerrick can be heard: "YOU'RE BANNED!" Russo slaps McDerrick in the face, before one of McDerrick's lackey's, MR. PPV, running heel kicks Russo in the back of the head, causing him to fall to the outside!
Eliminated, Kid Russo
Just then, as Bastarde goes after PPV once more, "Sweet Home Alabama" hits, and out comes Rebel Yell! The fans cheer!
Rebel runs down and attacks J.J with ITR's bat!(That thing is still here!)
Reb beats down on McDerrick, as PPV tries to stop him, Reb hits PPV with the bat! Bastarde grabs PPV by the tights and flings him over the top rope!!
Eliminated, Mr. PPV
Bastarde cheers on Rebel Yell as he beats McDerrick over the top rope!
Eliminated, J.J. McDerrick
Reb stands victorious, looking out at McDerrick, as Bastarde walks up behind him and pushes him over the top rope!
Eliminated, Rebel Yell
El Bastarde stands alone in the ring as the fans go nuts!
Styles: Bastarde has cleared the ring!!!!
Then, "Bittersweet Symphany" hits, and out comes the one...the only... BIKER!!
Biker hits the ring, and squares off against Bastarde. They exchange put downs, but no one can understand them.
Ross: Do you guys understand a word they're saying?
Styles: No.
Lawler: I think Biker said something about www.audiogalaxy.com.
Biker locks Bastarde in a headlock, and Bastarde counters with a hammerlock.
While in the hammerlock...Biker reaches in his pocket...
He pulls out a SHIV!!! HE SHIVS BASTARDE, STABBING HIM IN THE LEFT THIGH!!
Ross: BIKER JUST STABBED BASTARDE!!! BRUTAL!
Styles: Biker learned that technique when he spent time in prison, for assault of a bldeedngi sas.
Bastarde cant believe it, as he starts to unload punches on Biker.
El Bastarde: I CANT BELEEVE YOU STABBED ME. IT IS REELY PAINFUL. YOU BEETCH!
Bastarde punches Biker into the corner, and then pulls out the shiv, tossing it to the outside. He then charges at Biker, and hits him with a corner clothesline! Biker walks out of the corner, and falls face first.
Bastarde begins to stomp on Biker, as suddenly, the lights go out, and
"1,000 Years" by Binary Test Record hits...and we see a green orb on the stage, and the man holding that orb... THE SILICON TOAD.
The lights stay off, until Toad reaches the ring...
Styles: It's perhaps the oddest man in wrestling history, The Silicon Toad!!
Lawler: What a loser. He cybered with some 40 year old vampire chick from 6 states over.
Toad enters the ring, as Bastarde gives him the weirdest look. Bastarde continues to stomp at Biker, until Toad invites Bastarde to bring it on. Bastarde obliges, and Toad and Bastarde engage in fisticuffs. Meanwhile, Biker rolls to the outside...
Toad locks on a sleeper hold on Bastarde! Bastarde struggles to get free, and does, and then you can hear him yell out:
El Bastarde: Eeeeew! STEENKEY ARMPEETS!!
Toad, enraged, charges at Bastarde, but Bastarde drops his toe with a hold. Like a drop toe hold. Get it? Retard.
Bastarde gets up, but Biker re-enters the ring with a steel chair, and hits Bastarde in the back with it!!!
Ross: I'll say it again, because it's so lame. THIS IS INSANE!
It's at this point, Queen's "We Are The Champions" hits, and out comes The Box Office Champion, Reno Starr. Starr is seen with Andy Rocker and Flower Girl, but he tells them to go back to the back, as he will take care of business.
Starr enters the ring, and hits Biker with the B.O.T.! Biker drops the chair, as Biker is rocked by the Title belt shot. The Toad picks up the chair, and clobbers Biker with it, knocking him to the ropes, and over them to the outside!
Eliminated, Biker
Reno and Toad both look at each other...and then both look at Bastarde, as they both walk towards Bastarde. The Bastard kicks Toad in the gut, Takes the chair from him, hits him with it in the gut, then hits Starr's raised Box Office Title belt, causing it and the chair to go into Starr's head!!
Styles: Oh! Bastarde clobbers Starr!
Toad recovers from the shot to the stomach, and knees Bastarde in the stomach, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Bastarde drops the chair, and Toad signals to the crowd, that he is going to do a move to Bastarde, onto the chair! Bastarde drops to his knees, and hits Toad with a brutal low blow! Bastarde picks up the chair again and hits Toad right on top of the head! Toad leans against the ropes!
Bastarde hits Toad again with the chair! Nothing happens, but then Bastarde swings the chair towards his face, and this time, the Toad flips backwards over the top rope, to the arena floor.
Eliminated, The Silicon Toad
The Toad hits hard, as Bastarde watches him fall all the way down.
Ross: I hope Myst is watching in the back, because that lying bastard just got eliminated!
Bastarde turns around to see a charging Reno Starr! Starr clotheslines Bastarde OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eliminated, El Bastarde
Reno Starr starts celebrating, as the fans cheer!
Winner of the Efed Gimmick Battle Royal, Reno Starr
Bastarde cant believe it, on the outside, as he makes his way to the back. The Toad, on the other hand, leaves through the crowd.
JR: Reno Starr, Reno Starr! I cant believe it!
Suddenly...an ambulance's siren is heard, once more.
Lawler: What now?
The mWo ambulance is back! it pulls up to the ring, and a masked man in black gets out.
Styles: Who the hell? Last time, DC was driving that thing...I figured it went off some cliff and killed Smackdown, Really Crazy, Wickit, Hey Kid, and Kareem!
JR: It might have...
The man in black enters the ring, and extends his hand to a cautious Reno Starr. Reno takes it, and the man shakes his hand.
Ross: What the hell?
Then, the man in black pulls Reno towards him, locks him up, and hits him with a straight BRAINBUSTER! Reno is out cold!
Styles: What the hell???
The man in black then asks for a mic, and then stands in the middle of the ring, and clutches his mask...
He pulls at it...and then, pulls it off, to reveal...
None other than...
Y2A ANDREW LEIGH!!!!!
The fans go crazy, in shock!
Ross- My God! My GOD! Y2A is BACK! Y2A IS BACK IN ICW!
Styles- Don't act so surprised, JR! 'Twas only a matter of time till the greatest LWN Champion of all time made his return!
The crowd reacts with a large amount of astonishment at the exposure of the masked man as Y2A. Their reaction is mostly mixed, as the true diehard ICW fans never took a liking to Y2A, even when he was the ICW World Champion. But there were some scattered cheers, as Y2A did have a strong fan base during his brief ICW reign. As Y2A paces around the ring, a small "Y2A, Y2A, Y2A" chant breaks out amongst a small group of fans. The chant continues, right as Y2A begins to address the crowd.
Y2A- Who the hell do you people think you are, addressing me by that highly offensive name? Oh wait, I shouldn't have even bothered to ask. I already knew the answer to that one. You're nothing but a band of toothless, homeless, education-less, classless savages who stumbled into this arena just to blindly cheer for whoever tells them what they want to hear. Now a wave of boos rise up from the crowd, no longer the mixed reaction Y2A got upon his arrival.
Ross- Different times, same old pompous, arrogant and sarcastic Y2A!
Lawler- That's Andrew Leigh to you, JR!
Y2A- Well, as easy as it may be, I didn't come out here to insult the so-called "fans", nor did I come out to crash this highly boring, highly useless "gimmick rumble"! Oh no, my purpose is much more interesting and far more important then just playing the role of "party crasher"!
Y2A lowers the microphone, just as the crowd starts up another, louder and wider, "Y-2-A, Y-2-A" chant, mocking the fact that Y2A doesn't want to be called..Y2A.confusing, eh? Y2A paces around the ring, with his expression changing from relaxed to almost livid
Y2A- This.is the last time I'll say it.MY NAME, the person standing in the ring talking on the mic, me, right here, not that guy, ME my name, IS ANDREW LEIGH!
Y2A's little tirade just intensifies the crowd's chants! Y2A stomps his foot in the ring and begins to scan the crowd, muttering to himself.
Ross- Looks like Y2A is having trouble facing the fact that his old gimmick was the main thing that made him a bigtime player in wrestling!
Styles- Hey, the man has had the type of career that merits him being able to be called whatever he prefers!
Lawler- Just like he prefers you to call him one of the New Kids On The Block?
Styles-what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Ross- Let's just move on!
Focus returns to Y2A, who is ready to continue his tirade.
Y2A- Anyway, as you should be able to plainly see, I've made my official return to wrestling. And I've come to recapture the one title that defined my career, which pushed me in the direction of greatness, where I rest today. And, before my time in ICW comes to an end, I will reclaim that title, and out-talent and out-class those that stand in my way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a legendary career to continue, and as Mr. Reno Starr here can tell you, no one will stand in my way.
Y2A exits the ring, and walks back up the ramp, leaving the ambulance ringside, still.
The camera cuts back to Reno Starr, who is still out cold...
Ross: I can't believe it! Andrew Leigh, is back?
Styles: HAHAHA, WHO'S THE MAN?
Lawler: Damn, you're a little bitch.
Ross: Well folks...while we get this all figured out...Damn, Andrew Leigh! Uh...let's...take a...not a commercial...hmm..lets uhh.. YEAH!