Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 15:06:14 GMT -6
School.
A place where people go to get edumacated. Yes, I spelled educated like edumacated on purpose to make the subtle suggestion that not everyone in school gets educated. Why?
Because you only get out of your education what you put into it.
Take college for example...Students spend hundreds of dollars on books each semester, and then half the time they end up not reading them. How do you think those students do? They end up like Stevo: Worthless, annoying little pieces of pot smoking trash that couldn't tell his penis from his arse. Not that there is a difference where Stevo is concerned, the cocknazi.
But you only learn when you apply yourself? Take me for example. For three semesters in school (The school of aspiring ghost-broadcasters, for all of you who were wondering) I half-assed my way through, putting in a lackluster effort and getting lackluster results. I still have a B average, which is better than you all will ever hope to achieve, but I could have certainly achieved high status by now. This semester is different, I'm actually working to achieve success. And I'm rolling with the ball, or running with it, or whatever the danged expression is.
You know, I always thought Myst would make a good teacher. Better than Xdude and Ethan Prophet (although Prophet wasn't bad for a rookie teacher. He's got not passion for the business though.)
So we cue our scene. You see Myst, dressed up in nerdy attire, with a white shirt, black glasses with little tape over it, and the short tie that stops halfway down his stomach. He pretty much looks like Hoya, only better looking. He's got a black briefcase, and a room full of students. You know, teacher stuff. Most of you aren't too far out of school (or are still in third grade if you are Dan Hampton), so you know what school looks like. So picture a freaking classroom, and you have our scene. Morons.
Myst enters the room and trips over the door and falls flat on his face. His students, which happen to be all children of Dave Dudley's mother (there are about 20 of them in the classroom) all laugh and give Myst the finger. (Gotta love Momma Dudley teaching her kids proper etiquette.)
Myst gets up and walks to his desk and sheepishly puts down his briefcase. He's even talking in a nerd voice. Imagine what Hoya, Healius, and Hampton all sound like, blend the voice and that is what Myst sounds like right now.
Myst: Okay class, now did everyone do their homework?
No one raises there hands.
Myst: Well thats okay for this time. Myst talks in his regular voice. But if it ever happens again, I will take all of your souls, put them in a blender and eat them for dinner. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? Myst goes back to using nerd voice while the class pisses its pants.
Myst: Okay class, today I'm going to lecture on mathematics!! YAY!!! Now, I trust you all are good at multiplying. Wait, you are Dudleys, so you aren't good at anything except inbreeding. Well, I'm gonna have to take a chance. Who knows what 2X2 is? Just shout the answer out if you know it!
Dave Dudley the 5th: 69? LOL!!!
Myst: Young man, if you ever use sexual innuendo in my class again, I will send you to the principal, who looks like Xdude. And if you use LOL, I will shoot you in the face with a poisonous dart.
Little Dave Dudley the 5th begins to cry.
Myst: Now does anyone know the answer?
Little Doug Dudley: Umm, 2x2= 4....right? 4? Yeah, 4. No, 74...Wait, no, 4.
Myst: Good job little Doug Dudley. And can you tell me what that means?
Little Doug Dudley: Probably not, I'm retarded like the rest of my family.
Myst: Well, yes you are. But come on, take a gander at it.
Doug Dudley: I've got no clue.
Jimmy Jack Dudley: I KNOW, I KNOW MR. MYST!!
Myst: Well then by all means, tell me Jimmy Jack.
Jimmy Jack: It means you are greater than Xdude, Dave Dudley, The Southern Gentlemen, Nonz, Andrew Leigh, Jpac and pretty much everyone in the ICW.
Myst: Correct! And why does 2=Myst>ICW Roster?
Jimmy Jack: Because the worth of the entire roster isn't equal to that of two cents, much less the billion dollars you are worth.
Myst: Ahh, you're modest. More like trillions. That concludes todays lecture everyone. Little Jimmy Jack and Doug Dudley are excused from today's anal sex with their parents. I'll write a note if you need it. Goodbye class, and do your homework. Tomorrow we have guest lecturer Amalek lecturing us on how to properly steal a soul with a pair of toe nail clippers. Goodbye!
Class gets up and runs out of the room while Myst has an apple. fade out or whatever.
(OOC: I'd do more, but I gotta take a major dump and i'm in the comp lab at school.)
Myst: The hateful dragon ready to consume with awe-inspiring hate.
A place where people go to get edumacated. Yes, I spelled educated like edumacated on purpose to make the subtle suggestion that not everyone in school gets educated. Why?
Because you only get out of your education what you put into it.
Take college for example...Students spend hundreds of dollars on books each semester, and then half the time they end up not reading them. How do you think those students do? They end up like Stevo: Worthless, annoying little pieces of pot smoking trash that couldn't tell his penis from his arse. Not that there is a difference where Stevo is concerned, the cocknazi.
But you only learn when you apply yourself? Take me for example. For three semesters in school (The school of aspiring ghost-broadcasters, for all of you who were wondering) I half-assed my way through, putting in a lackluster effort and getting lackluster results. I still have a B average, which is better than you all will ever hope to achieve, but I could have certainly achieved high status by now. This semester is different, I'm actually working to achieve success. And I'm rolling with the ball, or running with it, or whatever the danged expression is.
You know, I always thought Myst would make a good teacher. Better than Xdude and Ethan Prophet (although Prophet wasn't bad for a rookie teacher. He's got not passion for the business though.)
So we cue our scene. You see Myst, dressed up in nerdy attire, with a white shirt, black glasses with little tape over it, and the short tie that stops halfway down his stomach. He pretty much looks like Hoya, only better looking. He's got a black briefcase, and a room full of students. You know, teacher stuff. Most of you aren't too far out of school (or are still in third grade if you are Dan Hampton), so you know what school looks like. So picture a freaking classroom, and you have our scene. Morons.
Myst enters the room and trips over the door and falls flat on his face. His students, which happen to be all children of Dave Dudley's mother (there are about 20 of them in the classroom) all laugh and give Myst the finger. (Gotta love Momma Dudley teaching her kids proper etiquette.)
Myst gets up and walks to his desk and sheepishly puts down his briefcase. He's even talking in a nerd voice. Imagine what Hoya, Healius, and Hampton all sound like, blend the voice and that is what Myst sounds like right now.
Myst: Okay class, now did everyone do their homework?
No one raises there hands.
Myst: Well thats okay for this time. Myst talks in his regular voice. But if it ever happens again, I will take all of your souls, put them in a blender and eat them for dinner. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? Myst goes back to using nerd voice while the class pisses its pants.
Myst: Okay class, today I'm going to lecture on mathematics!! YAY!!! Now, I trust you all are good at multiplying. Wait, you are Dudleys, so you aren't good at anything except inbreeding. Well, I'm gonna have to take a chance. Who knows what 2X2 is? Just shout the answer out if you know it!
Dave Dudley the 5th: 69? LOL!!!
Myst: Young man, if you ever use sexual innuendo in my class again, I will send you to the principal, who looks like Xdude. And if you use LOL, I will shoot you in the face with a poisonous dart.
Little Dave Dudley the 5th begins to cry.
Myst: Now does anyone know the answer?
Little Doug Dudley: Umm, 2x2= 4....right? 4? Yeah, 4. No, 74...Wait, no, 4.
Myst: Good job little Doug Dudley. And can you tell me what that means?
Little Doug Dudley: Probably not, I'm retarded like the rest of my family.
Myst: Well, yes you are. But come on, take a gander at it.
Doug Dudley: I've got no clue.
Jimmy Jack Dudley: I KNOW, I KNOW MR. MYST!!
Myst: Well then by all means, tell me Jimmy Jack.
Jimmy Jack: It means you are greater than Xdude, Dave Dudley, The Southern Gentlemen, Nonz, Andrew Leigh, Jpac and pretty much everyone in the ICW.
Myst: Correct! And why does 2=Myst>ICW Roster?
Jimmy Jack: Because the worth of the entire roster isn't equal to that of two cents, much less the billion dollars you are worth.
Myst: Ahh, you're modest. More like trillions. That concludes todays lecture everyone. Little Jimmy Jack and Doug Dudley are excused from today's anal sex with their parents. I'll write a note if you need it. Goodbye class, and do your homework. Tomorrow we have guest lecturer Amalek lecturing us on how to properly steal a soul with a pair of toe nail clippers. Goodbye!
Class gets up and runs out of the room while Myst has an apple. fade out or whatever.
(OOC: I'd do more, but I gotta take a major dump and i'm in the comp lab at school.)
Myst: The hateful dragon ready to consume with awe-inspiring hate.