Post by Dave Dangerously on Dec 1, 2021 15:44:53 GMT -6
ICW The Return
Blinding white light.
After Dave Dangerously stepped into some sort of portal/tunnel, he is surrounded by blinding, searing white light.
He thinks to himself…
Where am I?
But there is nothing.
Am I…dead?
No sound, just the light. Or maybe it’s the absence of anything?
You are not dead.
What? Who’s there?
You have transcended. You have gone…beyond.
Beyond what?
Beyond what you know to be true. What YOU know to be true. There is so much more than you could possibly know.
Semantics?
…what?
I’m in some magical space realm and you’re going to argue semantics?
Um, well…I uh…
Listen, you’d better tell me what’s going on here!!! Who are you?
Me? I am THE ONE ABOVE ALL ELSE.
You mean like an apartment on top of a Cinnabon?
…That’s real? I mean no, I am THE ONE ABOVE ALL ELSE. THE HIGHEST POWER.
Vince?
Listen, do you want to know what you’re here for or what?
Man, this is one of the WEIRDEST days I’ve had in a long time and I’m JUST sayin’, I’m just sayin I’m like a race car in the red. It’s dangerous to have a race car in the red. I could blow.
Yeah, listen we’ve all seen Pulp Fiction.
What?
You have transcended. You have evolved. You have broken through the shackles that have chained you to reality. You battled your creator and you came out on top. You have absorbed the essence of all of your personas, your aspects, your splintered life force. And now, you’re here, and you can embark on the mission that you’ve always been waiting to take.
I just wanted to find the truth to everything. I just wanted to know…why.
I understand. It is what drives us all. Unfortunately, I do not have the answers for you, my friend.
Are you kidding me?
Don’t misunderstand, I do not have the answers, but they are not mine to give. The truth you seek now lies in your own hands. Now, you have been given the power.
This is the water…
And this is the well.
Drink full,
And ascend.
The horse is the white of the eyes,
And dark within.
Now, you will control your destiny. By facing your maker, and breaking the laws of existence, you have merged with all of the chronal aspects of your one true conscious being. You have been charged with chronal energy, gathered from the beginning and the end of time. You have been tasked to rewrite your own story, by means of being able to see it at all times, past and present together. You will make a new future, one in which there is an infinite frontier of possibilities.
So how do I do it?
You will use this energy to travel to various points throughout your life to change what needs to be changed, to fix what needs to be fixed, or to break what must become broken. Only people, places, and things connected to you will you be able to experience. These are the things that will determine your new present, you will end up in a new reality of your own making. The only limit is your imagination.
I see…
But choose wisely. The power is not infinite. It will run out, and when it does, you will be in the world that you have chosen for yourself.
How do I know what to choose, or where to go, or what to do?
The truth you seek lies within. You have always known, you will always know. Above all else, throughout it all, you are infinite. You are the one who remains. You are the one above all else.
Wait, you mean to tell me…
I went through the same process as you. I am you, and so much more. But I could be a different version of you. I could be a variant of you that chose a different outcome. I am here, there, everywhere. We are infinite.
Wow…
It’s time, are you ready?
I am…I think. Will I see you again?
I’ll be with you, always. And one day, you will guide yourself on this path, much like I have done with you. It’s a never-ending battle.
Well then…up up and away!
Really?
What?
Up up and away? That’s what you’re going with?
You mentioned a never-ending battle, so I went all Superman with it.
Dude, for real? Come on.
What, man?
Ok, for example…I said LETS…GET…DANGEROUS!
Yeah, but I already said that last time.
Oh, you did?
Yup.
Oh, well. Hmmm…
Okay, how about this….
TESTIFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A brighter flash of light, and Dave feels himself charged with energy. Suddenly, images fade into view, and he finds himself backstage at an arena…
ICW Inferno, 2000
Dave views Dave Dudley walking back stage, carrying a barbed-wire steel chair.
Dave Dudley: Where is that bastard? Where is Pyro?
A referee comes up, and is all like, you’d better stop, but Dave just clobbers him with the chair. Dave drops it, and OUR Dave sneaks in and picks it up…
Dave Dangerously: Yoink! I’ll be taking this…YEET!
Dangerously vanishes into white, as Dave Dudley looks around
Dave Dudley: Where is my chair??? Did someone just say….YEET?
Blinding light envelops Dave Dangerously, as he travels to his next location…
We see a small bedroom in West Chester, Philadelphia. On the computer screen, shows a Ezboard page…
Dan Farrell’s bedroom, 2000
Dave sneaks up over to the computer…
Dave Dangerously: Hmm…”publish page DWF, yes/or no”…
DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!
Dave vanishes into light, as Dan Farrell comes into the bedroom…
Dan Farrell: Aw man! It messed up! Stupid Ezboard!
Farrell sends an AIM message to Dan Warnken.
DWFarrell: Man it messed up, should we try to redo it?
Metallidan: Nah, forget it. Let’s listen to Live and Ska respectively.
DWFarrell: Dave is definitely better than us.
Metallidan: I concur.
Dave is enveloped in white light: He shows up outside an arena…
Location of some stupid EWA PPV in 2000/2001
tonight’s main event, Amalek vs Dave Dudley for the EWA World Title reads the marquee.
Dave sees a limo arrive, and out comes Amalek..ThE THirD…AnD FInaL bEAsT… with his cat, Dino in tow.
Dave immediately CLOBBERS AMALEK IN THE HEAD WITH THE BARBED WIRE STEEL CHAIR, AND KICKS HIM INTO THE LIMO!
Dave Dangerously: Take this bozo to the airport, brochacho. He’s had too much to drink so he may need help getting on his flight to Afghanistan.
The limo drives off as Dave grabs the cat, and hands it to a nearby child
Dave Dangerously: Treasure this cat, always. And when you’re older, tell your grandchild a time traveller gave it to you.
Dave vanishes into light again, this time resurfacing in a small village in Mexico…
Mexico dump, early 80s
Dave looks around, and sees a woman about to walk into a local store.
Dave Dangerously: Hola señora, ¿cómo está hoy?
Woman: No buena, me siento enferma del estómago ...
Dave Dangerously: Oh, lamento oír eso, señorita ...
Woman: Bastarde, Señorita Bastarde.
Dave Dangerously: Encantado de conocerte, mi nombre es Dave.
Señorita Bastarde: Estoy encantado de conocerte también. Debo ir a la tienda ahora.
Dave Dangerously: Déjame adivinar, ¿para una prueba de embarazo?
Señorita Bastarde: ¿Si, como lo sabías?
Dave Dangerously: Una suposición afortunada, aquí, ¿por qué no intentas esto para tu dolor de estómago?
Dave hands her a box of borax
Dave Dangerously: Simplemente mezcle esto con agua y bébalo. Puede arder, ¡pero eso significa que está funcionando!
Señorita Bastarde: ¡OK muchas gracias!
Dave Dangerously: De nada, y oye, si alguna vez terminas teniendo un hijo, ¡llámalo Dave!
Dave vanishes into white light suddenly in front of the woman
Señorita Bastarde: ¡Dios mío!
Ronnie James Dio indeed. What a great future that will be without that little bastarde running around. Anyway, what’s next?
Dave materializes in our nation’s capitol.
Washington, D.C. 2005
Dave goes into the senate chamber, interrupting Senate Majority leader William H. Frist…
William H. Frist: Jesus H. Christ!
Dave Dangerously: That’s a great joke right there, anyway, I am sorry to interrupt, but I have some important news…I have some information about who is secretly running this country for diabolical purposes, and you will find that it is very convincingly true…
We cut to Robert Hagan, Healius, and William Schlickenmaier, Hoyakillah, being lead by handcuffs into federal custody.
Dave Dangerously: We saved a lot of young college girl’s virginities this day, my friend.
Barack Obama: You the man, dog!
Dave Dangerously: No, YOU’RE the man. Say, have you ever thought about a career in politics?
Barack Obama: Me?
Dave Dangerously: Yeah. Tell you what, homie…you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I believe in you. Change is real!
Dave vanishes into thin air
Barack Obama: Hmm…Change…
Dave is floating in white light again, and the voice of THE ONE ABOVE ALL ELSE speaks out again…
You are nearly complete. You have enough chronal energy for one more jump, and then you will be returned to the present, into your new reality of your own choosing.
One shot left, huh?
Yep, just one shot…
One shot is all I need…
PSA: Get vaccinated
Dave magically whooshes out of blinding light, into an office reception area… the scene cuts to behind the office door, where ScottiePP7 and Johnny Q Public are meeting…
ScottiePP7: You’re the last line of defense. You’re the only one who can counter his coming moves. We’ve got to stop him, and we don’t have much time.
QPublic: Dudley? What the hell?
ScottiePP7: No, not Dudley. I’m talking about The Most Dangerous Man In Wrestling, The Hardcore Icon, Dave Dangerously.
QPublic: Whatever dude, that’s the same guy.
Dave kicks the doors open, barbed wire-wrapped steel chair in hand.
Dave Dangerously: Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the chair.
Dave throws the chair into QPublic’s face, busting him open and knocking him out. He picks it back up and walks towards Scottie.
ScottiePP7: What? How did you get here?
Dave Dangerously: Time to pay the piper, Scott. Time to finish the unfinished business.
ScottiePP7: You just didn’t know when to quit, did you? You just didn’t know when to stop, did you?
Dave Dangerously: I’ll never quit, I’ll never stop. This is MY reality. I make the rules.
ScottiePP7: No…NO! I MAKE THE RULES! THIS IS MY WORLD, MY LIFE, MY DOMAIN, MY REALITY, MY ICW! I’M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!
Dave superkicks ScottiePP7 in the face, and he goes flying BACKWARDS THROUGH THE WINDOW, BUSTING THROUGH IT AND FALLING TO THE GROUND BELOW!!!!!
He lands on his aston martin in his parking spot with a sickening thud!
Dave Dangerously: And I’m Dave Dangerously. The Hardcore Icon.
The roof begins to shake, as white light starts to swell…
Dave Dangerously: Well, I guess I’m done here….
Dave begins to teleport away, as a lightning bolt strikes from above, but suddenly, QPUBLIC SPEARS DANGEROUSLY OUT OF THE WAY!!! The energy discharge BLOWS THE WINDOWS OUT OF THE ROOM, AND A GIANT HOLE ON THE CEILING, EXPOSING THE TOP FLOOR ROOF!
Energy swirls around and it fires back up into the sky, crackling with it. Suddenly, the sky turns dark, and full of clouds. The wind picks up, and it starts to rain.
Papers fly around the decimated office building, as Dave stands up, only to see
QPublic: IT’S NOT OVER YET! IT’LL NEVER BE GAME OVER!
QPublic is holding the barbed wire wrapped steel chair, as Dave looks on, as the square each other up from across the room.
You can almost hear the bell sound.
Dave Dangerously: Let’s finish this, then.
Dave Dudley lifts his fists in a fighting stance, as does QPublic, as the lightning strikes and the thunder cracks…
NEXT:
The end?
Chapter Five:
Quantum Leapfrog
Quantum Leapfrog
Blinding white light.
After Dave Dangerously stepped into some sort of portal/tunnel, he is surrounded by blinding, searing white light.
He thinks to himself…
Where am I?
But there is nothing.
Am I…dead?
No sound, just the light. Or maybe it’s the absence of anything?
You are not dead.
What? Who’s there?
You have transcended. You have gone…beyond.
Beyond what?
Beyond what you know to be true. What YOU know to be true. There is so much more than you could possibly know.
Semantics?
…what?
I’m in some magical space realm and you’re going to argue semantics?
Um, well…I uh…
Listen, you’d better tell me what’s going on here!!! Who are you?
Me? I am THE ONE ABOVE ALL ELSE.
You mean like an apartment on top of a Cinnabon?
…That’s real? I mean no, I am THE ONE ABOVE ALL ELSE. THE HIGHEST POWER.
Vince?
Listen, do you want to know what you’re here for or what?
Man, this is one of the WEIRDEST days I’ve had in a long time and I’m JUST sayin’, I’m just sayin I’m like a race car in the red. It’s dangerous to have a race car in the red. I could blow.
Yeah, listen we’ve all seen Pulp Fiction.
What?
You have transcended. You have evolved. You have broken through the shackles that have chained you to reality. You battled your creator and you came out on top. You have absorbed the essence of all of your personas, your aspects, your splintered life force. And now, you’re here, and you can embark on the mission that you’ve always been waiting to take.
I just wanted to find the truth to everything. I just wanted to know…why.
I understand. It is what drives us all. Unfortunately, I do not have the answers for you, my friend.
Are you kidding me?
Don’t misunderstand, I do not have the answers, but they are not mine to give. The truth you seek now lies in your own hands. Now, you have been given the power.
This is the water…
And this is the well.
Drink full,
And ascend.
The horse is the white of the eyes,
And dark within.
Now, you will control your destiny. By facing your maker, and breaking the laws of existence, you have merged with all of the chronal aspects of your one true conscious being. You have been charged with chronal energy, gathered from the beginning and the end of time. You have been tasked to rewrite your own story, by means of being able to see it at all times, past and present together. You will make a new future, one in which there is an infinite frontier of possibilities.
So how do I do it?
You will use this energy to travel to various points throughout your life to change what needs to be changed, to fix what needs to be fixed, or to break what must become broken. Only people, places, and things connected to you will you be able to experience. These are the things that will determine your new present, you will end up in a new reality of your own making. The only limit is your imagination.
I see…
But choose wisely. The power is not infinite. It will run out, and when it does, you will be in the world that you have chosen for yourself.
How do I know what to choose, or where to go, or what to do?
The truth you seek lies within. You have always known, you will always know. Above all else, throughout it all, you are infinite. You are the one who remains. You are the one above all else.
Wait, you mean to tell me…
I went through the same process as you. I am you, and so much more. But I could be a different version of you. I could be a variant of you that chose a different outcome. I am here, there, everywhere. We are infinite.
Wow…
It’s time, are you ready?
I am…I think. Will I see you again?
I’ll be with you, always. And one day, you will guide yourself on this path, much like I have done with you. It’s a never-ending battle.
Well then…up up and away!
Really?
What?
Up up and away? That’s what you’re going with?
You mentioned a never-ending battle, so I went all Superman with it.
Dude, for real? Come on.
What, man?
Ok, for example…I said LETS…GET…DANGEROUS!
Yeah, but I already said that last time.
Oh, you did?
Yup.
Oh, well. Hmmm…
Okay, how about this….
TESTIFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A brighter flash of light, and Dave feels himself charged with energy. Suddenly, images fade into view, and he finds himself backstage at an arena…
ICW Inferno, 2000
Dave views Dave Dudley walking back stage, carrying a barbed-wire steel chair.
Dave Dudley: Where is that bastard? Where is Pyro?
A referee comes up, and is all like, you’d better stop, but Dave just clobbers him with the chair. Dave drops it, and OUR Dave sneaks in and picks it up…
Dave Dangerously: Yoink! I’ll be taking this…YEET!
Dangerously vanishes into white, as Dave Dudley looks around
Dave Dudley: Where is my chair??? Did someone just say….YEET?
Blinding light envelops Dave Dangerously, as he travels to his next location…
We see a small bedroom in West Chester, Philadelphia. On the computer screen, shows a Ezboard page…
Dan Farrell’s bedroom, 2000
Dave sneaks up over to the computer…
Dave Dangerously: Hmm…”publish page DWF, yes/or no”…
DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!
Dave vanishes into light, as Dan Farrell comes into the bedroom…
Dan Farrell: Aw man! It messed up! Stupid Ezboard!
Farrell sends an AIM message to Dan Warnken.
DWFarrell: Man it messed up, should we try to redo it?
Metallidan: Nah, forget it. Let’s listen to Live and Ska respectively.
DWFarrell: Dave is definitely better than us.
Metallidan: I concur.
Dave is enveloped in white light: He shows up outside an arena…
Location of some stupid EWA PPV in 2000/2001
tonight’s main event, Amalek vs Dave Dudley for the EWA World Title reads the marquee.
Dave sees a limo arrive, and out comes Amalek..ThE THirD…AnD FInaL bEAsT… with his cat, Dino in tow.
Dave immediately CLOBBERS AMALEK IN THE HEAD WITH THE BARBED WIRE STEEL CHAIR, AND KICKS HIM INTO THE LIMO!
Dave Dangerously: Take this bozo to the airport, brochacho. He’s had too much to drink so he may need help getting on his flight to Afghanistan.
The limo drives off as Dave grabs the cat, and hands it to a nearby child
Dave Dangerously: Treasure this cat, always. And when you’re older, tell your grandchild a time traveller gave it to you.
Dave vanishes into light again, this time resurfacing in a small village in Mexico…
Mexico dump, early 80s
Dave looks around, and sees a woman about to walk into a local store.
Dave Dangerously: Hola señora, ¿cómo está hoy?
Woman: No buena, me siento enferma del estómago ...
Dave Dangerously: Oh, lamento oír eso, señorita ...
Woman: Bastarde, Señorita Bastarde.
Dave Dangerously: Encantado de conocerte, mi nombre es Dave.
Señorita Bastarde: Estoy encantado de conocerte también. Debo ir a la tienda ahora.
Dave Dangerously: Déjame adivinar, ¿para una prueba de embarazo?
Señorita Bastarde: ¿Si, como lo sabías?
Dave Dangerously: Una suposición afortunada, aquí, ¿por qué no intentas esto para tu dolor de estómago?
Dave hands her a box of borax
Dave Dangerously: Simplemente mezcle esto con agua y bébalo. Puede arder, ¡pero eso significa que está funcionando!
Señorita Bastarde: ¡OK muchas gracias!
Dave Dangerously: De nada, y oye, si alguna vez terminas teniendo un hijo, ¡llámalo Dave!
Dave vanishes into white light suddenly in front of the woman
Señorita Bastarde: ¡Dios mío!
Ronnie James Dio indeed. What a great future that will be without that little bastarde running around. Anyway, what’s next?
Dave materializes in our nation’s capitol.
Washington, D.C. 2005
Dave goes into the senate chamber, interrupting Senate Majority leader William H. Frist…
William H. Frist: Jesus H. Christ!
Dave Dangerously: That’s a great joke right there, anyway, I am sorry to interrupt, but I have some important news…I have some information about who is secretly running this country for diabolical purposes, and you will find that it is very convincingly true…
We cut to Robert Hagan, Healius, and William Schlickenmaier, Hoyakillah, being lead by handcuffs into federal custody.
Dave Dangerously: We saved a lot of young college girl’s virginities this day, my friend.
Barack Obama: You the man, dog!
Dave Dangerously: No, YOU’RE the man. Say, have you ever thought about a career in politics?
Barack Obama: Me?
Dave Dangerously: Yeah. Tell you what, homie…you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I believe in you. Change is real!
Dave vanishes into thin air
Barack Obama: Hmm…Change…
Dave is floating in white light again, and the voice of THE ONE ABOVE ALL ELSE speaks out again…
You are nearly complete. You have enough chronal energy for one more jump, and then you will be returned to the present, into your new reality of your own choosing.
One shot left, huh?
Yep, just one shot…
One shot is all I need…
PSA: Get vaccinated
Dave magically whooshes out of blinding light, into an office reception area… the scene cuts to behind the office door, where ScottiePP7 and Johnny Q Public are meeting…
ScottiePP7: You’re the last line of defense. You’re the only one who can counter his coming moves. We’ve got to stop him, and we don’t have much time.
QPublic: Dudley? What the hell?
ScottiePP7: No, not Dudley. I’m talking about The Most Dangerous Man In Wrestling, The Hardcore Icon, Dave Dangerously.
QPublic: Whatever dude, that’s the same guy.
Dave kicks the doors open, barbed wire-wrapped steel chair in hand.
Dave Dangerously: Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the chair.
Dave throws the chair into QPublic’s face, busting him open and knocking him out. He picks it back up and walks towards Scottie.
ScottiePP7: What? How did you get here?
Dave Dangerously: Time to pay the piper, Scott. Time to finish the unfinished business.
ScottiePP7: You just didn’t know when to quit, did you? You just didn’t know when to stop, did you?
Dave Dangerously: I’ll never quit, I’ll never stop. This is MY reality. I make the rules.
ScottiePP7: No…NO! I MAKE THE RULES! THIS IS MY WORLD, MY LIFE, MY DOMAIN, MY REALITY, MY ICW! I’M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!
Dave superkicks ScottiePP7 in the face, and he goes flying BACKWARDS THROUGH THE WINDOW, BUSTING THROUGH IT AND FALLING TO THE GROUND BELOW!!!!!
He lands on his aston martin in his parking spot with a sickening thud!
Dave Dangerously: And I’m Dave Dangerously. The Hardcore Icon.
The roof begins to shake, as white light starts to swell…
Dave Dangerously: Well, I guess I’m done here….
Dave begins to teleport away, as a lightning bolt strikes from above, but suddenly, QPUBLIC SPEARS DANGEROUSLY OUT OF THE WAY!!! The energy discharge BLOWS THE WINDOWS OUT OF THE ROOM, AND A GIANT HOLE ON THE CEILING, EXPOSING THE TOP FLOOR ROOF!
Energy swirls around and it fires back up into the sky, crackling with it. Suddenly, the sky turns dark, and full of clouds. The wind picks up, and it starts to rain.
Papers fly around the decimated office building, as Dave stands up, only to see
QPublic: IT’S NOT OVER YET! IT’LL NEVER BE GAME OVER!
QPublic is holding the barbed wire wrapped steel chair, as Dave looks on, as the square each other up from across the room.
You can almost hear the bell sound.
Dave Dangerously: Let’s finish this, then.
Dave Dudley lifts his fists in a fighting stance, as does QPublic, as the lightning strikes and the thunder cracks…
NEXT:
The end?