Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 21:38:19 GMT -6
Picture fades in on the screen...
WARNING. Any unauthorized re-broadcasting of this broadcast is strictly prohibited. Any attempts to re-distribute this copyrighted PPV, will result in a very Kallista-like lawsuit. Furthermore, Dave Dudley rules. Thank you, and enjoy the show.
The ICW logo comes on the screen, then ICW old timer, the "Freddie Blassie" of the ICW, if you will, Mercury's voice is heard.
"ICW.
One word can best sum it up.
Insane.
Because thats what we are, we're insane.
Because we're called Insane Championship Wrestling.
Do you get it?
Anyway, tonight, is the night when the stars come out.
Tonight, is the night, in which dreams will be made...careers ended...bones broken, and blood shed.
Tonight, is the night, in which I will pull a "Chuck Finn", and deliver this cheesy speech.
Tonight, is the night, when amazing feats, will be indubitably etched, in the annals of time.
Tonight, four men will battle it out, in a war, to determine the king of the mountain.
Tonight, is the night that everyone looks forward to.
Tonight, is the night...for... ROLEPLAYMANIA!"
Computer graphic flashes across the screen:
As "Spit" by Kittie plays, the camera cuts to an interior shot of the sold-out First Union Center, in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. The crowd is going nuts, as a heaping amount of pyro shoots off from the rafters, the stage, and the ring.
The camera pans around the crowd, to show such signs as:
"I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS. SO DAVE DUDLEY BETTER BE HERE."
"HAHA, HE'S NOT, THOUGH!"
"YUUUUP, WHAT AN IDIOT"
"AT LEAST MY NAME ISNT DAN FARRELL"
"HE'S SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!"
"EWA < ICW"
"AMALEK...THIRD AND FINAL BEEYOTCH"
"ANDY, GIVE ME THE COOCHIE CUTTER!!!"
As the camera pans around, a voice is heard
Jim Ross: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the second annual...ROLEPLAYMANIA!!!
The camera shows a wide angle shot of the entire First Union Center, as the graphic comes up displaying "Live, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania".
Jim Ross: Hello again everybody, I'm Jim Ross alongside my broadcast partners Joey Styles, and Mr. Tony Soprano, and guys, It's great to be here tonight in Philly!
Joey Styles: It sure is JR! Tonight is the greatest night in all of efeds! I'm so pumped to be here tonight, to steal a line from Dick Vitale, it's going to be AWESOME, BABY!
Tony Soprano: Ey, it's RolePlayMania, it's Philly, I got my cheese steak right here, with some extra copacola on der, it's fuckin' amazin'!
Ross: 3 minutes into the show, and it's already rated 'R'.
Styles: What do you expect, it's ICFUCKINW!!
Soprano: Anudder' fuckin' tragedy.
Ross: Well folks, here to kick RolePlayMania off, straight from...where are they? Anyway, here they are, The Bloodhound Gang!!!
The fans explode, cheering for BHG. The camera cuts to a stage set up right by the entrance ramp, where we see The Bloodhound Gang set up, and ready to perform.
Jimmy Pop: Whats up, you crazy mofos?
The crowd cheers
Jimmy Pop: You know, tonight is the inevitable return of ICW to PPV. And coincedentally, it's also the Inevitable Return of The Great White Dope!
The following is played over the PA:
A is for apple.
B, is for balloons.
C, is for crayons.
D, is for...drums!
The drums kick in, as Jimmy Pop takes the mic:
Jimmy Pop: LIKE A SCROTUM HERE IT IS, IN A NUTSHELL!
The band jumps in, playing the music.
Jimmy Pop:
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two,
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew,
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her,
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher,
Genius with a penis, the few, the proud, the me,
I liked me so much I had to buy the company,
Soul for sale, sold to Satan, for a hell of a lotta luck,
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks,
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized,
Idolized, or despised, bet I'm gettin' recognized
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head,
Half of the people want me, half of the people want me dead,
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity,
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity,
The one part the Fuehrer, the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope.
Conclusions you drew, proportions you blew,
Lost son of Iggy? False Bigger nose than Ziggy? True.
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop, no my pop's name is Dick,
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic,
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes,
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes.
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class,
One thumb on the pulse of the nation, one thumb in your girlfriend's ass,
Written on, written off, scoff callin' me a joke,
I don't think that I'm a sell-out, but I do "Enjoy Coke!"
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so can it
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium,
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian,
The one part the Fuehrer, the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby, of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
Great White Dope!!!!
Great White Dope!!!!!!!!
Great White Dope!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great White Dope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fans give a standing ovation
Jimmy Pop: Now, on with the hardcore porn!
Ross: Eh...well, that was...interesting, to say the least.
Styles: Haha, come on, that ruled!
Sopranos: I sure could use a coke...
Ross: Well, what a way to start off the night...with the...uh...Bloodhound Gang. Why couldnt they have gotten the Dixie Chicks, or something?
The camera focuses backstage, in the hallowed halls of the arena, and specifically the locker room/office set up for the ICW Commissioner, Scottie PP7. The camera sweeps through the wooden door that has the nameplate Commissioner fastened on. When the scene opens up, the focus is on the wooden desk that ICW Commish Scottie PP7 sits behind. Scottie is seated behind the desk, his head down as he shuffles through a manila folder. He looks up at the camera:
Scottie PP7- This, the first match of the evening, between Reno Starr and Dan Hampton is, obviously, for the Box Office Title. Well..IM SCOTTIE PP7 DAMNIT, and I SAY that this match will behmmm...a LADDER MATCH! I hope that doesnt change Reno or Hammys game plan! Now, Ive got work to do, so get the fuck out of here!
Scottie pushes the cameras lens away from his desk, and the scene fades to black, only to re-open back outside in the arena, where Jim Ross, Joey Styles and Tony Soprano remain seated at the announce table
Jim Ross- A somewhat SHOCKING development in our next match, Scottie PP7 has ordered that Reno Starr put his Box Office Title up above the ring, and he and Dan Hampton will have to fight it out in a no-holds-barred ladder match!
Joey Styles- Well Scottie PP7 may not be Commissioner for much longer, but he is clearly going to use his remaining power as much as he can to make some high-impact moves!
Tony Soprano- Eh? I tink dat Scottie iz juss tryin to help hiz mamanooch out!
Jim Ross- His who?
Styles- I think he means to say that Scottie is trying to help Reno. But, if you ask me, the risk is greater in a Ladder Match for both wrestlers! Because really, there are no rules, anything goes! If Scottie wanted to help Reno, I dont think this is the way to do it!
As Styles finishes up selling the match, Where I Belong begins to play through the arena, and a nice crowd reaction greets the five-time EWA World Champion, and newest addition to the ICW roster, Dan Hampton! Hampton steps out from the entrance curtain, and begins his trot down the entrance ramp to the ring, as the crowd continues its nice ovation. Hampton is halfway down the ramp, and he stops and takes a peek at the ladder that has been propped up mid-ramp. Hampton looks the ladder over, and then continues his trek into the ring.
Ross- He may not be the sharpest knife in the bunch, but Dan Hampton sure can wrestle! Hes seen great success in his career, and hes already got his sights set on gold here in ICW!
Soprano- Eh, youze are fughettin da Starr of da show, Reno Staar! Hez da champ! Youze aint gotz no respect!
Hampton has made himself comfortable in the ring, as Queens We Are The Champions begins to blare over the Union Centers PA, and the crowd boos heavily as The Starr of the Show, Reno Starr, along with his partner in crime Andy Rocker, make their way into the unfriendly environment. Reno and Rocker exchange glances, and then the two begin to parade down the ramp. Just as Hampton did, Reno and Rocker stop at the ladder standing mid-ramp. The two look over the ladder, and Reno decides to make his way up! Reno begins to climb the ladder, and he reaches the top, and sort of props himself up right below the top step. Reno balances himself, and then raises his arms triumphantly to the Philadelphia crowd, educing a HUGE amount of heel heat from the crowd!
Ross- Reno Starr is definitely one of the most confident ICW superstars, but I dont know what the point of this is. Hes just rubbing it in the face of Dan Hampton!
Styles- Not so fast, JR! Looks like Hampton has something cooking in the ring!
As Reno continues to bask in his own glory atop the ladder, Hampton is seen somewhat measuring the distance between the ring and the ladder off! The crowd pops when they see Dan Hampton back up to the far ring ropes! Reno, meanwhile, is blowing kisses to the Philly crowd, and Andy Rocker has gotten into an argument with a ringside fan!
Soprano- Eh, I dun like whut Ima seein from dis Dan Hamdon characta! He aint got no respect!
Hampton sees Reno and Rocker not paying any attention, so he barrels off the ropes, rushes across the ring, hops up onto the middle of the top rope, and springboards out of the ring, towards the ladder with a missile dropkick! Hampton connects with the middle of the ladder, but the impact is enough to bring the ladder crashing down, as well as Reno Starr tumbling off the top to the steel ramps floor!!! The crowds pop is deafening!
Ross- Hampton just took out Reno! Reno was too busy celebrating and playing to the crowd, and Hampton took him out!
Styles- Putting his life on the line! Hampton is one crazy mother fucker!
Soprano- EHH! Whassamattawitchu? Da kidz are watchin! No RESPECT!
Hampton absorbs the impact of the huge impact move, but he isnt as bad as Reno, who came tumbling off the top of the ladder! Andy Rocker is hunched over trying to help his partner Reno back to his feet, but Rocker is in for somewhat of a surprise, as Dan Hampton is back up, and looming over Rocker and Reno! Hampton grabs a hold of Andy Rockers head, and pulls him over away from Reno! The crowd pops, as Hampton hoists Rocker up into the air! Standing Suplex onto the fallen ladder!!
Ross- Well Andy Rocker was trying to help his good buddy Reno Starr back to his feet, and Dan Hampton greeted him with a huge suplex!
Styles- Definitely seems like Hampton is a man on a mission! He wants that Box Office Title!
Reno is just getting up on his knees, as Hampton pulls himself up from the suplex on Rocker! Hampton rushes over to the fallen Reno, and grabs a hold of the Starrs head! Hampton begins to drag Reno back down the ramp, towards the ring! The crowd pops as Hampton pulls Reno up by the pants, and rolls him back into the ring! Hampton doesnt waste any time, as he hops up onto the apron, grabs a hold of the top rope, and pulls himself over, trying to come down on Reno with a splash.but Reno rolls out of the way! Hampton bounces off the mat stomach-first, but doesnt soak up that much pain from the missed move! Hampton hops back up to his feet, and begins to rush over at Reno who is also recovered to his feet! Hampton lunges with an attempted clothesline, but Reno ducks out of the way. Hampton stops, and Reno recognizes, and he attempts a standing side kick! However, Hampton blocks, and grabs a hold of Renos foot! Reno hops on his one foot for a moment, then spins with an Enziguri attempt! BUT HAMPTON ducks again! This time, Reno lands on his back, and Hampton grabs a hold of Renos other leg!
Ross- What a great opening display from both of these wrestlers! Hampton looks like hes got Reno down!
Styles- Yeah, no shit Sherlock! And hes locking on a Sharpshooter!
Soprano- EH! I taught I told jew about dat poddy mout!
Styles- Did you just call me a Jew?
Soprano- No, I said JEW! You know, JEW!
Styles- What the hell, you just called me a damn Jew three times!
Back in the ring, Dan Hampton has stepped through Renos legs, and has locked on a tight Sharpshooter mid-ring! Reno is writhing in serious, serious pain, and Hampton is just tightening the hold! No signs of breaking it, as Reno begins clawing and grabbing at some sort of sanctuary, but there is no relief! Hampton has it still locked on very tightly, and Reno continues to reach for the ropes! The crowds ovation continues to rise, but from outside the ring, ANDY ROCKER comes rushing in, carrying a steel chair!
Ross- Damnit! This sniveling little idiot is going to stick his nose where it doesnt belong! You think hed have learned his lesson after he and Hamptons first go-round!
Rocker hops right into Hamptons line of vision, wheeling that steel chair! Hampton is forced to break the Sharpshooter he had applied on Reno, and he rushes towards Rocker! Rocker swipes at Hamptons head with the chair, but Hampton is able to duck! Hampton attempts a big standing clothesline, but Rocker is able to duck! Before Hampton can recover, Rocker reloads with the chair and PASTES Hampton across the face with a HUGE steel chair shot!
Styles- The equalizer! And Rocker has taken Hampton OUT!
Soprano- No RESPECT, I tell ya.
Hampton lands hard back on the mat, and Rocker throws down the chair in disgust of Hampton. Rocker then heads over to Reno, who has begun crawling about the mat grasping his left leg after Hamptons tight Sharpshooter. Rocker crouches down to help Reno back to his feet, but Reno just pushes him out of the way, and pulls himself back up on his own! Reno stumbles around on his feet for a short minute, and then motions for Rocker to go get the ladder!
Ross- We may have our first attempt of going to get that Box Office Title dangling up above the ring!
Rocker leaves the ring at Renos command, and heads towards the ramp where the ladder is positioned. Rocker takes a hold of the ladder, as Reno grabs a hold of that steel chair that Rocker had used on Hampton! Hampton is just beginning to roll around after getting taken out by the chair shot from Rocker, and Reno stumbles over towards him carrying the slightly dented chair! Hampton looks up at Reno from his knees, but just in time to be greeted with a HUGE chair shot to the skull from Reno! Hampton crumples back to the mat again, as Rocker comes back into the ring carrying the ladder!
Styles- We may very well have our first attempt of going up after the Title! Reno seems to have taken care of Hampton as far as incapacitation, but itll be interesting to see if he can get up and grab a hold of that belt!
Rocker lifts the ladder up so it is standing on its two legs, and he unfolds it directly underneath where the Box Office Title dangles. Reno assists his partner a bit in order to set the ladder up quickly, and the two men finish setting up, and Reno grabs a hold of one side, and begins to scale to the top!
Soprano- Eh, lookz a like Reno has dis one in da bag, badda bing!
Ross- Reno has begun the slow trip up towards the top, but Dan Hampton is showing signs of life! Hes crawling towards that ladder!
Dan Hampton is, in fact, crawling towards the ladder, and Reno and Rocker dont notice, as Reno is climbing, and Rocker is underneath his partner trying to guide him carefully up to the top! Hampton has groggily made his way over to where the ladder is constructed, and he is now lying at the very legs of the tall ladder! Rocker and Reno are still oblivious, but Reno has the belt strap right in his fingertips!
Styles- Hes got it! This one is over! Hes got it!
Reno can just barely touch it
.
..
..
..
almost got itBUT..Dan Hampton alertly grabs a hold of the bottom legs of the ladder, and closes them together, causing Reno to grab a hold of the top of the ladder, and the ladder to just barely be held up by Andy Rocker, and Renos own balance!
Ross- The only place that ladder can go is down! Rocker is trying to hold on, but its too wobbly! Reno better pray for a safe landing!
Soprano- Eh, look at dose two idjits tryin to balance dat ting! What a couple of mamalukes!
Rocker can no longer hold Reno and the ladders weight, and he lets go of his hold, as he stumbles back! Hampton recovers to his feet, as Reno is still just barely able to balance himself and the ladder! When Reno is content with his position on the unopened ladder, he steadies himself at the top, and reaches out to try and grab his title once again!
Styles- Reno is absolutely relentless! He wants to keep that title, in a bad way!
Hampton is pretty much totally recovered after the series of chair shots, and now, he sees Reno up on the wobbly ladder! Rocker notices Hamptons regain of consciousness, and he rushes the Five-Time EWA Champ! Rocker has a full head of steam in Hamptons direction, but just as hes ready for impact with the drunken one, Hampton counteracts with a lightning-quick drop toe hold, sending Rocker crashing to the mat! When he sees Rocker down, he turns back to Reno, who is just about able to touch the Box Office Title yet again! Reno seems right in position to grab a hold of the BOTitle, but now, Dan Hampton has returned his focus to his opponent, and Dan is clearly aware of the precarious position Reno remains in! Reno is JUST about to wrap his hand around the title strap, but Hampton reaches out and pushes the wobbly and unbalanced ladder back, sending Reno crashing down to the mat, with the ladder landing right on top of him! Reno is DOWN AND OUT, and the crowds roar is indescribable!
Ross- MY GOD! MY GOD! Reno just came crashing back to Earth, at the hands of Dan Hampton!
Soprano- Eh, come on! Dat guy Hampdon should have summore RESPECT fa Reno!
Reno is hardly moving underneath the large ladder, and Hampton isnt quite done yet! The crowd pops as Hampton points to the turnbuckle nearest to where Reno has gone down! Hampton then heads over to the turnbuckle, and the crowd pops even more as he begins to make his way up the turnbuckles, towards the top rope! Hampton is clearly taking his time, and it seems like it wont matter, as Reno is hardly moving! However, from across the ring, Andy Rocker has begun to crawl slowly towards the fallen Reno!
Styles- The way this looks, it seems like Hampton is going to go off the top rope, onto the ladder and also onto Reno Starr, with a huge high risk maneuver!
Ross- I dont know how good of a decision it is for Hampton to waste as much time as he is! Reno may be down and out, but you cant take this big of a chance!
Hampton has finally steadied himself up on the top rope, and he has turned his back to the fallen Reno, and the ring.he steadies himself once more, and now propels off the top turnbuckle, attempting a huge Shooting Star Moonsault down onto Reno
AND HE CONNECTS WITH THE LADDER
BUT ANDY ROCKER PULLED RENO OUT OF THE WAY, JUST AS HAMPTON LANDED SMACK DAB ON THE LADDER, STOMACH FIRST!
Styles- MY GOD! Dan Hampton did in fact put it all on the line, but it ended up biting him in the ass! Rocker saves his butt buddy once again!
Ross- Hampton absorbed the full brunt of that unforgiving ladder! Maybe if he didnt take so much time getting to the top, this wouldnt have happened! Now, Rocker and Reno definitely have the upper hand!
Soprano- Eh, I like dis Andee Rocka guy, he iz lookn out for hiz partna. If only summore peoplez did dat!
Rocker helps Reno back to his feet slowly, as the crowd boos at the sight of Dan Hampton sprawled out across the ladder! Hampton begins to slowly, barely move around the surface of the ladder, as Rocker continues to help Reno recompose himself! Finally, Reno pushes Rocker away with his left hand, and slides down and out of the ring, reaching underneath the ring apron for some illegal foreign objects!
Ross- Damn Reno, this does not look good for Dan Hampton! Not one bit!
Styles- Reno is definitely out to prove his supremacy and his talent with this match, and hes pulling out all the stops!
After a moment of shuffling through the under-ring debris, Reno reappears to the crowd carrying..a STOP SIGN!
Soprano- Eh? How da hell did a stop sign get unda da ring?!?!
Reno slides the stop sign into the ring, as Andy Rocker rushes over to the fallen Dan Hampton, and mounts him, beginning to pound away on the fallen Hampton with a quick and brutal series of rights and lefts! Rocker continues to lie into Hampton, until finally, Reno pulls Rocker off! Rocker stumbles back, and he and Reno exchange glances, until Reno WINDS UP and DRILLS Dan Hampton in the midsection with the sharp side of the stop sign! Hampton convulses in pain, as Reno goes up for ANOTHER STOP SIGN SHOT TO THE STOMACH! The crowds boos begin to ring through the arena, until Reno throws down the sign! The Starr of the Show then proceeds to prance around the ring triumphantly, as Andy Rocker goes over to the fallen Hampton, and begins to now stomp away on the extremely battered man!
Ross- I can not believe this! This is absolutely sick! Sick, I tell you, sick!
Styles- Reno and Rocker are absolutely taking apart Dan Hampton! And they arent even done!
Reno finishes up his bit of flashy celebration, and heads back over to Hampton! Once again, Reno pulls Rocker away from his fallen opponent, and this time, he signals for Rocker to lift him up! Rocker does in fact pull Hampton up off the mat, and leads the groggy Hampton over towards that discarded stop sign! Reno says a few quick words to Rocker, and then heads over to the top rope, as the crowd continues its barrage of boos! Rocker continues to hold on to Hampton, as Reno begins his ascension up to the top turnbuckle! Reno reaches the top, and signals down at Rocker! Rocker lets go of Hampton, who continues to groggily stumble around, and Rocker bounds off towards the ropes. Rocker comes rushing back, and he leaps up, and grabs a hold of Hamptons neck, and brings him crashing face-first down into the stop sign with a huge Coochie Cutter Diamond Cutter!!!!!!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT! Rocker is doing the dirty work for his goddamn friend Reno!
Styles- Like it or not, Reno is determined to come out on top in this match, and hes doing whatever it damn well takes!
Hampton hits so hard on the stop sign that he flips over onto his back! The crowds reaction isnt very pleasant, and Reno and Rocker arent even done! Rocker gets back up to his feet and prances around the ring, trying to elicit some more heat from the rambunctious Philly crowd! However, Reno is now perched up on the top rope..and hes stretching his five fingers out to the crowd..
Soprano- Eh, lookz a like someone iz about to get wacked!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT! Hampton is in trouble! Reno is looking for his move!
Styles- This is it! A starr is about to be born! This thing is pretty much over!
Reno continues to hold his fingers out to the crowd, as he comes flying off the top rope and..
HITS THE A STARR IS BORN FIVE STARR FROG SPLASHon top of the stop sign!!!!!
Styles- He got it! He got it! This is all over! Hampton is done! Reno is going to win this!
Soprano- Eh, dat wuz some move, fughettabaaaaaatit!
Ross- Hampton is probably broken in half! DAMN it, Reno has just cheated all the way to the win!
Reno and Rocker celebrate after the series of big-time moves down onto that stop sign, and but Reno stops after a moment. He looks throughout the crowd, who are booing frantically, and then looks down at Dan Hampton, who isnt moving one lick! Reno then looks over at Rocker, and points at the corner!
Ross- Wait just a minute! Wait a minute! You have the damn match won, Reno! Go get your damn title, and leave the gutless bastard that you are!
Soprano- Eh, come on! Whassamattawitchu? Reno iz juss doin his job! Show him sum RESPECT!
The crowd boos even more, as Rocker reaches down, and grabs a hold of the fallen Dan Hampton! On Renos command, Andy Rocker begins to drag the fallen carcass of Dan Hampton across the ring, and eventually props him up, slouching down in the corner. Rocker then proceeds to head over to the ladder, and pick it up!
Ross- Oh, this definitely does not look good at all for Dan Hampton! Not one bit!
Styles- I guess Reno wants to make sure this match is totally over with!
Rocker takes the ladder over to the unmoving Hampton, and acknowledges Reno, who goes over and climbs out of the ring, standing out on the apron! Rocker is holding the ladder in place directly in front of Hamptons face, as Reno hops up onto the middle of the top rope! Reno holds on to the rope, as he looks around at the crowd, and then comes flying off the middle rope with a huge spring board drop kick to the ladder..
BUT COMES UP EMPTY! DAN HAMPTON ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND, and Reno hit feet-first into the ladder, and into the bottom turnbuckle!
Styles- HOW! HOW?
Ross- Dan Hampton is ALIVE! And hes raring to go!
Reno bounces off the bottom turnbuckle, as Dan Hampton hops back up to his feet almost as if he wasnt even affected by the Starr is Born or the Coochie Cutter! Andy Rocker is in disbelief, but he doesnt have much time to linger about, as Dan Hampton is on the prowl! Hampton rushes at Rocker, who attempts to impede Hamptons progress with a desperation right hand, but Hampton ducks under, knees Rocker in the gut, and hooks him. BRAIN DAMAGE BRAINBUSTER!!!!
Soprano- EH! How can dat happen to da Rocker guy?! Hampdon wuz juss out cold!
Ross- Hampton is back in this thing! Hes back! All that showboating and procrastinating Reno and Rocker did has come back to bite them in the ass!
Styles- THIS GUY, he should be dead right now!
Rocker is absolutely OUT after getting PLANTED with that huge Brainbuster, and Hampton isnt done! Reno had gotten back to his feet, and he took off in a rush at Dan Hampton! But, Hampton would have none of it, as he grabbed a hold of Reno, and BROUGHT HIM CRASHING DOWN WITH A SKY HIGH POWERBOMB! Reno hits hard, but not hard enough to take him out of the match, which is what Hampton has to do! So, Hampton pulls Reno up off the mat, and continues his attack by whipping Reno into the ropesReno comes back, and Hampton executes a solid hurricane back breaker! Reno hits the mat grasping at his back, as Hampton goes right back at him with a series of kicks to Renos back area! Hampton then pulls Reno off the mat again, this time, Hampton reaches down, and hoists Reno up into a precarious position across the shoulders of Hampton!
Ross- Hampton has somehow got the upper hand back in this match! And hes about to bring this star crashing back down to Earth!
Hampton in fact finishes the move, bringing Reno down HARD with a Death Valley Driver! Reno is in some serious pain! And Hampton isnt done! He reaches down, and grabs a hold of Renos head! The Five-Time EWA World Champ drags Reno over to the turnbuckle area! Hampton pulls Reno up off the mat, and lifts him up in the air, propping Reno back-to-the-ring up on the turnbuckle! Hampton raises his fist to the crowd, as he hops up onto the second turnbuckle, and applies a reverse front face lock, and leaps off the turnbuckle with a reverse Implant DDT, which he calls QUADROPHENIA!!!!!!!
Styles- DAMN! HAMPTON HIT QUADROPHENIA!
Soprano- Eh, dat wuz an impressive move from da Hampdon fella! Even deserves a BADDA BING!
The crowd goes absolutely apeshit nuts, and Reno is down and OUT after the huge impact move! Andy Rocker is stumbling back to his feet, just as Dan Hampton hops up, and goes over to get the ladder from the corner! He holds the ladder at his waist, and as he swings around to see where Reno is, he inadvertently DRILLS Andy Rocker in the face with the side of the ladder!!!! Rocker goes down in a heap! The crowds pop goes on!
Ross- Andy Rocker goes down, again! Both Hollywood Hitmen are absolutely decimated in the ring! And Hampton is going for that Title! He wants it!
Hampton sets the ladder down underneath the BOTitle, and then unfolds it so that it is sturdily set up mid-ring! He begins to climb rung-by-rung, and he moves at a rather rapid pace. Finally, he stops right at the very top. He looks up at the BOTitle, and then down at the fallen Reno, and Andy Rocker who is laid out not too far off. Hampton then turns to the crowd, and after he enjoys their pop for a moment, he turns fully around and looks down at Reno!
Styles- I dont think Hampton is done. He has that look in his eye!
Hampton raises his arms to the crowd, and then FLIES OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER WITH A HUGE SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS PHOENIX SPLASH!!!!!!!!!
Ross- MY GOD! MY GOD!
Soprano- EH! EH! EH!
RENO has been absolutely DECIMATED, DESTROYED, DEVOURED! Hampton gets back to his feet, and looks around at the crowd, who are absolutely losing their shit! Hampton then heads back over to the ladder, and begins to climb once again!
Ross- I think this time hes going for the title! We are going to have a Goddamn new Box Office Champion!
Styles- WAIT! LOOK UP THE RAMP! LOOK!
The camera quickly switches from the shot of Hampton climbing the ladder, to the ramp where SCOTTIE PP7 HAS COME RUSHING DOWN! THE ICW PRESIDENT IS FULL-SPEED SPRINTING DOWN INTO THE RING, TO HUGE HEAT FROM THE CROWD!
Ross- What the HELL is Scottie doing here?!?!
Soprano- Eh, hez da boss, show some RESPECT!
Scottie dives head first into the ring, and rushes right up to the ladder! With zero hesitation, Scottie almost spears the ladder, TIPPING IT OVER AND SENDING DAN HAMPTON CRASHING TO THE MAT, ALONG WITH THE LADDER!
Styles- THE BOSS IS PISSED!
Ross- DAMNIT!
Hampton hits HARD on the mat, and Scottie isnt done! He grabs Hampton by the hair, and pulls him up into his grasp! Standing above the previously-used stop sign, Scottie grabs a hold of Hampton in a reverse front face lock. MARTINI DDT ONTO THE STOP SIGN!!!!!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT!
Hamptons head bounces off like a rubber ball, and Scottie turns to the crowd, who are booing mercilessly! After a moment, The boss reaches down and grabs a hold of Hamptons arm, and reaches into his tuxedo jacket pocket. When he opens up, a pair of handcuffs are visible to the crowd!.
Ross- Oh no! NO!
Scottie holds Hamptons hand to the ropes, and handcuffs him to the ring rope! As the crowds boos continue to rain down, Scottie heads over to the ladder, picks it up, and re-assembles it right underneath the Box Office Title! He then heads over to the fallen Reno Starr, and picks him up off the mat!
Styles- SCOTTIE IS HELPING RENO UP!
Scottie revives Reno by slapping him around a bit, and when Reno comes to, Scottie guides him over to the ladder. Reno groggily, and very deliberately, begins to climb up the ladder.half way.to the top. RENO GRABS THE TITLE! RENO GRABS THE TITLE!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT ALL TO HELL! HAMPTON HAS BEEN SCREWED!
Winner, and still Box Office Champion, Reno Starr
ScottiePP7 rolls out of the ring, and begins to head up the ramp, smiling. Reno Starr takes his BOTitle and rolls to the outside, and helps up Andy Rocker. The two head back to the ring, as the crowd boos hellaciously.[/i]
Ross- DAMN! What a disgusting move by the boss.
Styles: What a match, though!
Soprano: Ey, dat was a pretty good match, I agree. It was just a lil' bit unfair. Lil' bit.
Ross: Well folks, as we clean up this mess and as the referee uncuffs Hampton, here are some pre-recorded comments from one of the participants in tonights main event.
WARNING. Any unauthorized re-broadcasting of this broadcast is strictly prohibited. Any attempts to re-distribute this copyrighted PPV, will result in a very Kallista-like lawsuit. Furthermore, Dave Dudley rules. Thank you, and enjoy the show.
The ICW logo comes on the screen, then ICW old timer, the "Freddie Blassie" of the ICW, if you will, Mercury's voice is heard.
"ICW.
One word can best sum it up.
Insane.
Because thats what we are, we're insane.
Because we're called Insane Championship Wrestling.
Do you get it?
Anyway, tonight, is the night when the stars come out.
Tonight, is the night, in which dreams will be made...careers ended...bones broken, and blood shed.
Tonight, is the night, in which I will pull a "Chuck Finn", and deliver this cheesy speech.
Tonight, is the night, when amazing feats, will be indubitably etched, in the annals of time.
Tonight, four men will battle it out, in a war, to determine the king of the mountain.
Tonight, is the night that everyone looks forward to.
Tonight, is the night...for... ROLEPLAYMANIA!"
Computer graphic flashes across the screen:
And now...
ICW Presents
RolePlayMania II
Live, on Pay-Per-View!
ICW Presents
RolePlayMania II
Live, on Pay-Per-View!
As "Spit" by Kittie plays, the camera cuts to an interior shot of the sold-out First Union Center, in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. The crowd is going nuts, as a heaping amount of pyro shoots off from the rafters, the stage, and the ring.
The camera pans around the crowd, to show such signs as:
"I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS. SO DAVE DUDLEY BETTER BE HERE."
"HAHA, HE'S NOT, THOUGH!"
"YUUUUP, WHAT AN IDIOT"
"AT LEAST MY NAME ISNT DAN FARRELL"
"HE'S SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!"
"EWA < ICW"
"AMALEK...THIRD AND FINAL BEEYOTCH"
"ANDY, GIVE ME THE COOCHIE CUTTER!!!"
As the camera pans around, a voice is heard
Jim Ross: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the second annual...ROLEPLAYMANIA!!!
The camera shows a wide angle shot of the entire First Union Center, as the graphic comes up displaying "Live, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania".
Jim Ross: Hello again everybody, I'm Jim Ross alongside my broadcast partners Joey Styles, and Mr. Tony Soprano, and guys, It's great to be here tonight in Philly!
Joey Styles: It sure is JR! Tonight is the greatest night in all of efeds! I'm so pumped to be here tonight, to steal a line from Dick Vitale, it's going to be AWESOME, BABY!
Tony Soprano: Ey, it's RolePlayMania, it's Philly, I got my cheese steak right here, with some extra copacola on der, it's fuckin' amazin'!
Ross: 3 minutes into the show, and it's already rated 'R'.
Styles: What do you expect, it's ICFUCKINW!!
Soprano: Anudder' fuckin' tragedy.
Ross: Well folks, here to kick RolePlayMania off, straight from...where are they? Anyway, here they are, The Bloodhound Gang!!!
The fans explode, cheering for BHG. The camera cuts to a stage set up right by the entrance ramp, where we see The Bloodhound Gang set up, and ready to perform.
Jimmy Pop: Whats up, you crazy mofos?
The crowd cheers
Jimmy Pop: You know, tonight is the inevitable return of ICW to PPV. And coincedentally, it's also the Inevitable Return of The Great White Dope!
The following is played over the PA:
A is for apple.
B, is for balloons.
C, is for crayons.
D, is for...drums!
The drums kick in, as Jimmy Pop takes the mic:
Jimmy Pop: LIKE A SCROTUM HERE IT IS, IN A NUTSHELL!
The band jumps in, playing the music.
Jimmy Pop:
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two,
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew,
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her,
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher,
Genius with a penis, the few, the proud, the me,
I liked me so much I had to buy the company,
Soul for sale, sold to Satan, for a hell of a lotta luck,
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks,
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized,
Idolized, or despised, bet I'm gettin' recognized
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head,
Half of the people want me, half of the people want me dead,
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity,
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity,
The one part the Fuehrer, the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope.
Conclusions you drew, proportions you blew,
Lost son of Iggy? False Bigger nose than Ziggy? True.
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop, no my pop's name is Dick,
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic,
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes,
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes.
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class,
One thumb on the pulse of the nation, one thumb in your girlfriend's ass,
Written on, written off, scoff callin' me a joke,
I don't think that I'm a sell-out, but I do "Enjoy Coke!"
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so can it
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium,
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian,
The one part the Fuehrer, the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby, of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
Great White Dope!!!!
Great White Dope!!!!!!!!
Great White Dope!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great White Dope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fans give a standing ovation
Jimmy Pop: Now, on with the hardcore porn!
Ross: Eh...well, that was...interesting, to say the least.
Styles: Haha, come on, that ruled!
Sopranos: I sure could use a coke...
Ross: Well, what a way to start off the night...with the...uh...Bloodhound Gang. Why couldnt they have gotten the Dixie Chicks, or something?
The camera focuses backstage, in the hallowed halls of the arena, and specifically the locker room/office set up for the ICW Commissioner, Scottie PP7. The camera sweeps through the wooden door that has the nameplate Commissioner fastened on. When the scene opens up, the focus is on the wooden desk that ICW Commish Scottie PP7 sits behind. Scottie is seated behind the desk, his head down as he shuffles through a manila folder. He looks up at the camera:
Scottie PP7- This, the first match of the evening, between Reno Starr and Dan Hampton is, obviously, for the Box Office Title. Well..IM SCOTTIE PP7 DAMNIT, and I SAY that this match will behmmm...a LADDER MATCH! I hope that doesnt change Reno or Hammys game plan! Now, Ive got work to do, so get the fuck out of here!
Scottie pushes the cameras lens away from his desk, and the scene fades to black, only to re-open back outside in the arena, where Jim Ross, Joey Styles and Tony Soprano remain seated at the announce table
Jim Ross- A somewhat SHOCKING development in our next match, Scottie PP7 has ordered that Reno Starr put his Box Office Title up above the ring, and he and Dan Hampton will have to fight it out in a no-holds-barred ladder match!
Joey Styles- Well Scottie PP7 may not be Commissioner for much longer, but he is clearly going to use his remaining power as much as he can to make some high-impact moves!
Tony Soprano- Eh? I tink dat Scottie iz juss tryin to help hiz mamanooch out!
Jim Ross- His who?
Styles- I think he means to say that Scottie is trying to help Reno. But, if you ask me, the risk is greater in a Ladder Match for both wrestlers! Because really, there are no rules, anything goes! If Scottie wanted to help Reno, I dont think this is the way to do it!
As Styles finishes up selling the match, Where I Belong begins to play through the arena, and a nice crowd reaction greets the five-time EWA World Champion, and newest addition to the ICW roster, Dan Hampton! Hampton steps out from the entrance curtain, and begins his trot down the entrance ramp to the ring, as the crowd continues its nice ovation. Hampton is halfway down the ramp, and he stops and takes a peek at the ladder that has been propped up mid-ramp. Hampton looks the ladder over, and then continues his trek into the ring.
Ross- He may not be the sharpest knife in the bunch, but Dan Hampton sure can wrestle! Hes seen great success in his career, and hes already got his sights set on gold here in ICW!
Soprano- Eh, youze are fughettin da Starr of da show, Reno Staar! Hez da champ! Youze aint gotz no respect!
Hampton has made himself comfortable in the ring, as Queens We Are The Champions begins to blare over the Union Centers PA, and the crowd boos heavily as The Starr of the Show, Reno Starr, along with his partner in crime Andy Rocker, make their way into the unfriendly environment. Reno and Rocker exchange glances, and then the two begin to parade down the ramp. Just as Hampton did, Reno and Rocker stop at the ladder standing mid-ramp. The two look over the ladder, and Reno decides to make his way up! Reno begins to climb the ladder, and he reaches the top, and sort of props himself up right below the top step. Reno balances himself, and then raises his arms triumphantly to the Philadelphia crowd, educing a HUGE amount of heel heat from the crowd!
Ross- Reno Starr is definitely one of the most confident ICW superstars, but I dont know what the point of this is. Hes just rubbing it in the face of Dan Hampton!
Styles- Not so fast, JR! Looks like Hampton has something cooking in the ring!
As Reno continues to bask in his own glory atop the ladder, Hampton is seen somewhat measuring the distance between the ring and the ladder off! The crowd pops when they see Dan Hampton back up to the far ring ropes! Reno, meanwhile, is blowing kisses to the Philly crowd, and Andy Rocker has gotten into an argument with a ringside fan!
Soprano- Eh, I dun like whut Ima seein from dis Dan Hamdon characta! He aint got no respect!
Hampton sees Reno and Rocker not paying any attention, so he barrels off the ropes, rushes across the ring, hops up onto the middle of the top rope, and springboards out of the ring, towards the ladder with a missile dropkick! Hampton connects with the middle of the ladder, but the impact is enough to bring the ladder crashing down, as well as Reno Starr tumbling off the top to the steel ramps floor!!! The crowds pop is deafening!
Ross- Hampton just took out Reno! Reno was too busy celebrating and playing to the crowd, and Hampton took him out!
Styles- Putting his life on the line! Hampton is one crazy mother fucker!
Soprano- EHH! Whassamattawitchu? Da kidz are watchin! No RESPECT!
Hampton absorbs the impact of the huge impact move, but he isnt as bad as Reno, who came tumbling off the top of the ladder! Andy Rocker is hunched over trying to help his partner Reno back to his feet, but Rocker is in for somewhat of a surprise, as Dan Hampton is back up, and looming over Rocker and Reno! Hampton grabs a hold of Andy Rockers head, and pulls him over away from Reno! The crowd pops, as Hampton hoists Rocker up into the air! Standing Suplex onto the fallen ladder!!
Ross- Well Andy Rocker was trying to help his good buddy Reno Starr back to his feet, and Dan Hampton greeted him with a huge suplex!
Styles- Definitely seems like Hampton is a man on a mission! He wants that Box Office Title!
Reno is just getting up on his knees, as Hampton pulls himself up from the suplex on Rocker! Hampton rushes over to the fallen Reno, and grabs a hold of the Starrs head! Hampton begins to drag Reno back down the ramp, towards the ring! The crowd pops as Hampton pulls Reno up by the pants, and rolls him back into the ring! Hampton doesnt waste any time, as he hops up onto the apron, grabs a hold of the top rope, and pulls himself over, trying to come down on Reno with a splash.but Reno rolls out of the way! Hampton bounces off the mat stomach-first, but doesnt soak up that much pain from the missed move! Hampton hops back up to his feet, and begins to rush over at Reno who is also recovered to his feet! Hampton lunges with an attempted clothesline, but Reno ducks out of the way. Hampton stops, and Reno recognizes, and he attempts a standing side kick! However, Hampton blocks, and grabs a hold of Renos foot! Reno hops on his one foot for a moment, then spins with an Enziguri attempt! BUT HAMPTON ducks again! This time, Reno lands on his back, and Hampton grabs a hold of Renos other leg!
Ross- What a great opening display from both of these wrestlers! Hampton looks like hes got Reno down!
Styles- Yeah, no shit Sherlock! And hes locking on a Sharpshooter!
Soprano- EH! I taught I told jew about dat poddy mout!
Styles- Did you just call me a Jew?
Soprano- No, I said JEW! You know, JEW!
Styles- What the hell, you just called me a damn Jew three times!
Back in the ring, Dan Hampton has stepped through Renos legs, and has locked on a tight Sharpshooter mid-ring! Reno is writhing in serious, serious pain, and Hampton is just tightening the hold! No signs of breaking it, as Reno begins clawing and grabbing at some sort of sanctuary, but there is no relief! Hampton has it still locked on very tightly, and Reno continues to reach for the ropes! The crowds ovation continues to rise, but from outside the ring, ANDY ROCKER comes rushing in, carrying a steel chair!
Ross- Damnit! This sniveling little idiot is going to stick his nose where it doesnt belong! You think hed have learned his lesson after he and Hamptons first go-round!
Rocker hops right into Hamptons line of vision, wheeling that steel chair! Hampton is forced to break the Sharpshooter he had applied on Reno, and he rushes towards Rocker! Rocker swipes at Hamptons head with the chair, but Hampton is able to duck! Hampton attempts a big standing clothesline, but Rocker is able to duck! Before Hampton can recover, Rocker reloads with the chair and PASTES Hampton across the face with a HUGE steel chair shot!
Styles- The equalizer! And Rocker has taken Hampton OUT!
Soprano- No RESPECT, I tell ya.
Hampton lands hard back on the mat, and Rocker throws down the chair in disgust of Hampton. Rocker then heads over to Reno, who has begun crawling about the mat grasping his left leg after Hamptons tight Sharpshooter. Rocker crouches down to help Reno back to his feet, but Reno just pushes him out of the way, and pulls himself back up on his own! Reno stumbles around on his feet for a short minute, and then motions for Rocker to go get the ladder!
Ross- We may have our first attempt of going to get that Box Office Title dangling up above the ring!
Rocker leaves the ring at Renos command, and heads towards the ramp where the ladder is positioned. Rocker takes a hold of the ladder, as Reno grabs a hold of that steel chair that Rocker had used on Hampton! Hampton is just beginning to roll around after getting taken out by the chair shot from Rocker, and Reno stumbles over towards him carrying the slightly dented chair! Hampton looks up at Reno from his knees, but just in time to be greeted with a HUGE chair shot to the skull from Reno! Hampton crumples back to the mat again, as Rocker comes back into the ring carrying the ladder!
Styles- We may very well have our first attempt of going up after the Title! Reno seems to have taken care of Hampton as far as incapacitation, but itll be interesting to see if he can get up and grab a hold of that belt!
Rocker lifts the ladder up so it is standing on its two legs, and he unfolds it directly underneath where the Box Office Title dangles. Reno assists his partner a bit in order to set the ladder up quickly, and the two men finish setting up, and Reno grabs a hold of one side, and begins to scale to the top!
Soprano- Eh, lookz a like Reno has dis one in da bag, badda bing!
Ross- Reno has begun the slow trip up towards the top, but Dan Hampton is showing signs of life! Hes crawling towards that ladder!
Dan Hampton is, in fact, crawling towards the ladder, and Reno and Rocker dont notice, as Reno is climbing, and Rocker is underneath his partner trying to guide him carefully up to the top! Hampton has groggily made his way over to where the ladder is constructed, and he is now lying at the very legs of the tall ladder! Rocker and Reno are still oblivious, but Reno has the belt strap right in his fingertips!
Styles- Hes got it! This one is over! Hes got it!
Reno can just barely touch it
.
..
..
..
almost got itBUT..Dan Hampton alertly grabs a hold of the bottom legs of the ladder, and closes them together, causing Reno to grab a hold of the top of the ladder, and the ladder to just barely be held up by Andy Rocker, and Renos own balance!
Ross- The only place that ladder can go is down! Rocker is trying to hold on, but its too wobbly! Reno better pray for a safe landing!
Soprano- Eh, look at dose two idjits tryin to balance dat ting! What a couple of mamalukes!
Rocker can no longer hold Reno and the ladders weight, and he lets go of his hold, as he stumbles back! Hampton recovers to his feet, as Reno is still just barely able to balance himself and the ladder! When Reno is content with his position on the unopened ladder, he steadies himself at the top, and reaches out to try and grab his title once again!
Styles- Reno is absolutely relentless! He wants to keep that title, in a bad way!
Hampton is pretty much totally recovered after the series of chair shots, and now, he sees Reno up on the wobbly ladder! Rocker notices Hamptons regain of consciousness, and he rushes the Five-Time EWA Champ! Rocker has a full head of steam in Hamptons direction, but just as hes ready for impact with the drunken one, Hampton counteracts with a lightning-quick drop toe hold, sending Rocker crashing to the mat! When he sees Rocker down, he turns back to Reno, who is just about able to touch the Box Office Title yet again! Reno seems right in position to grab a hold of the BOTitle, but now, Dan Hampton has returned his focus to his opponent, and Dan is clearly aware of the precarious position Reno remains in! Reno is JUST about to wrap his hand around the title strap, but Hampton reaches out and pushes the wobbly and unbalanced ladder back, sending Reno crashing down to the mat, with the ladder landing right on top of him! Reno is DOWN AND OUT, and the crowds roar is indescribable!
Ross- MY GOD! MY GOD! Reno just came crashing back to Earth, at the hands of Dan Hampton!
Soprano- Eh, come on! Dat guy Hampdon should have summore RESPECT fa Reno!
Reno is hardly moving underneath the large ladder, and Hampton isnt quite done yet! The crowd pops as Hampton points to the turnbuckle nearest to where Reno has gone down! Hampton then heads over to the turnbuckle, and the crowd pops even more as he begins to make his way up the turnbuckles, towards the top rope! Hampton is clearly taking his time, and it seems like it wont matter, as Reno is hardly moving! However, from across the ring, Andy Rocker has begun to crawl slowly towards the fallen Reno!
Styles- The way this looks, it seems like Hampton is going to go off the top rope, onto the ladder and also onto Reno Starr, with a huge high risk maneuver!
Ross- I dont know how good of a decision it is for Hampton to waste as much time as he is! Reno may be down and out, but you cant take this big of a chance!
Hampton has finally steadied himself up on the top rope, and he has turned his back to the fallen Reno, and the ring.he steadies himself once more, and now propels off the top turnbuckle, attempting a huge Shooting Star Moonsault down onto Reno
AND HE CONNECTS WITH THE LADDER
BUT ANDY ROCKER PULLED RENO OUT OF THE WAY, JUST AS HAMPTON LANDED SMACK DAB ON THE LADDER, STOMACH FIRST!
Styles- MY GOD! Dan Hampton did in fact put it all on the line, but it ended up biting him in the ass! Rocker saves his butt buddy once again!
Ross- Hampton absorbed the full brunt of that unforgiving ladder! Maybe if he didnt take so much time getting to the top, this wouldnt have happened! Now, Rocker and Reno definitely have the upper hand!
Soprano- Eh, I like dis Andee Rocka guy, he iz lookn out for hiz partna. If only summore peoplez did dat!
Rocker helps Reno back to his feet slowly, as the crowd boos at the sight of Dan Hampton sprawled out across the ladder! Hampton begins to slowly, barely move around the surface of the ladder, as Rocker continues to help Reno recompose himself! Finally, Reno pushes Rocker away with his left hand, and slides down and out of the ring, reaching underneath the ring apron for some illegal foreign objects!
Ross- Damn Reno, this does not look good for Dan Hampton! Not one bit!
Styles- Reno is definitely out to prove his supremacy and his talent with this match, and hes pulling out all the stops!
After a moment of shuffling through the under-ring debris, Reno reappears to the crowd carrying..a STOP SIGN!
Soprano- Eh? How da hell did a stop sign get unda da ring?!?!
Reno slides the stop sign into the ring, as Andy Rocker rushes over to the fallen Dan Hampton, and mounts him, beginning to pound away on the fallen Hampton with a quick and brutal series of rights and lefts! Rocker continues to lie into Hampton, until finally, Reno pulls Rocker off! Rocker stumbles back, and he and Reno exchange glances, until Reno WINDS UP and DRILLS Dan Hampton in the midsection with the sharp side of the stop sign! Hampton convulses in pain, as Reno goes up for ANOTHER STOP SIGN SHOT TO THE STOMACH! The crowds boos begin to ring through the arena, until Reno throws down the sign! The Starr of the Show then proceeds to prance around the ring triumphantly, as Andy Rocker goes over to the fallen Hampton, and begins to now stomp away on the extremely battered man!
Ross- I can not believe this! This is absolutely sick! Sick, I tell you, sick!
Styles- Reno and Rocker are absolutely taking apart Dan Hampton! And they arent even done!
Reno finishes up his bit of flashy celebration, and heads back over to Hampton! Once again, Reno pulls Rocker away from his fallen opponent, and this time, he signals for Rocker to lift him up! Rocker does in fact pull Hampton up off the mat, and leads the groggy Hampton over towards that discarded stop sign! Reno says a few quick words to Rocker, and then heads over to the top rope, as the crowd continues its barrage of boos! Rocker continues to hold on to Hampton, as Reno begins his ascension up to the top turnbuckle! Reno reaches the top, and signals down at Rocker! Rocker lets go of Hampton, who continues to groggily stumble around, and Rocker bounds off towards the ropes. Rocker comes rushing back, and he leaps up, and grabs a hold of Hamptons neck, and brings him crashing face-first down into the stop sign with a huge Coochie Cutter Diamond Cutter!!!!!!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT! Rocker is doing the dirty work for his goddamn friend Reno!
Styles- Like it or not, Reno is determined to come out on top in this match, and hes doing whatever it damn well takes!
Hampton hits so hard on the stop sign that he flips over onto his back! The crowds reaction isnt very pleasant, and Reno and Rocker arent even done! Rocker gets back up to his feet and prances around the ring, trying to elicit some more heat from the rambunctious Philly crowd! However, Reno is now perched up on the top rope..and hes stretching his five fingers out to the crowd..
Soprano- Eh, lookz a like someone iz about to get wacked!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT! Hampton is in trouble! Reno is looking for his move!
Styles- This is it! A starr is about to be born! This thing is pretty much over!
Reno continues to hold his fingers out to the crowd, as he comes flying off the top rope and..
HITS THE A STARR IS BORN FIVE STARR FROG SPLASHon top of the stop sign!!!!!
Styles- He got it! He got it! This is all over! Hampton is done! Reno is going to win this!
Soprano- Eh, dat wuz some move, fughettabaaaaaatit!
Ross- Hampton is probably broken in half! DAMN it, Reno has just cheated all the way to the win!
Reno and Rocker celebrate after the series of big-time moves down onto that stop sign, and but Reno stops after a moment. He looks throughout the crowd, who are booing frantically, and then looks down at Dan Hampton, who isnt moving one lick! Reno then looks over at Rocker, and points at the corner!
Ross- Wait just a minute! Wait a minute! You have the damn match won, Reno! Go get your damn title, and leave the gutless bastard that you are!
Soprano- Eh, come on! Whassamattawitchu? Reno iz juss doin his job! Show him sum RESPECT!
The crowd boos even more, as Rocker reaches down, and grabs a hold of the fallen Dan Hampton! On Renos command, Andy Rocker begins to drag the fallen carcass of Dan Hampton across the ring, and eventually props him up, slouching down in the corner. Rocker then proceeds to head over to the ladder, and pick it up!
Ross- Oh, this definitely does not look good at all for Dan Hampton! Not one bit!
Styles- I guess Reno wants to make sure this match is totally over with!
Rocker takes the ladder over to the unmoving Hampton, and acknowledges Reno, who goes over and climbs out of the ring, standing out on the apron! Rocker is holding the ladder in place directly in front of Hamptons face, as Reno hops up onto the middle of the top rope! Reno holds on to the rope, as he looks around at the crowd, and then comes flying off the middle rope with a huge spring board drop kick to the ladder..
BUT COMES UP EMPTY! DAN HAMPTON ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND, and Reno hit feet-first into the ladder, and into the bottom turnbuckle!
Styles- HOW! HOW?
Ross- Dan Hampton is ALIVE! And hes raring to go!
Reno bounces off the bottom turnbuckle, as Dan Hampton hops back up to his feet almost as if he wasnt even affected by the Starr is Born or the Coochie Cutter! Andy Rocker is in disbelief, but he doesnt have much time to linger about, as Dan Hampton is on the prowl! Hampton rushes at Rocker, who attempts to impede Hamptons progress with a desperation right hand, but Hampton ducks under, knees Rocker in the gut, and hooks him. BRAIN DAMAGE BRAINBUSTER!!!!
Soprano- EH! How can dat happen to da Rocker guy?! Hampdon wuz juss out cold!
Ross- Hampton is back in this thing! Hes back! All that showboating and procrastinating Reno and Rocker did has come back to bite them in the ass!
Styles- THIS GUY, he should be dead right now!
Rocker is absolutely OUT after getting PLANTED with that huge Brainbuster, and Hampton isnt done! Reno had gotten back to his feet, and he took off in a rush at Dan Hampton! But, Hampton would have none of it, as he grabbed a hold of Reno, and BROUGHT HIM CRASHING DOWN WITH A SKY HIGH POWERBOMB! Reno hits hard, but not hard enough to take him out of the match, which is what Hampton has to do! So, Hampton pulls Reno up off the mat, and continues his attack by whipping Reno into the ropesReno comes back, and Hampton executes a solid hurricane back breaker! Reno hits the mat grasping at his back, as Hampton goes right back at him with a series of kicks to Renos back area! Hampton then pulls Reno off the mat again, this time, Hampton reaches down, and hoists Reno up into a precarious position across the shoulders of Hampton!
Ross- Hampton has somehow got the upper hand back in this match! And hes about to bring this star crashing back down to Earth!
Hampton in fact finishes the move, bringing Reno down HARD with a Death Valley Driver! Reno is in some serious pain! And Hampton isnt done! He reaches down, and grabs a hold of Renos head! The Five-Time EWA World Champ drags Reno over to the turnbuckle area! Hampton pulls Reno up off the mat, and lifts him up in the air, propping Reno back-to-the-ring up on the turnbuckle! Hampton raises his fist to the crowd, as he hops up onto the second turnbuckle, and applies a reverse front face lock, and leaps off the turnbuckle with a reverse Implant DDT, which he calls QUADROPHENIA!!!!!!!
Styles- DAMN! HAMPTON HIT QUADROPHENIA!
Soprano- Eh, dat wuz an impressive move from da Hampdon fella! Even deserves a BADDA BING!
The crowd goes absolutely apeshit nuts, and Reno is down and OUT after the huge impact move! Andy Rocker is stumbling back to his feet, just as Dan Hampton hops up, and goes over to get the ladder from the corner! He holds the ladder at his waist, and as he swings around to see where Reno is, he inadvertently DRILLS Andy Rocker in the face with the side of the ladder!!!! Rocker goes down in a heap! The crowds pop goes on!
Ross- Andy Rocker goes down, again! Both Hollywood Hitmen are absolutely decimated in the ring! And Hampton is going for that Title! He wants it!
Hampton sets the ladder down underneath the BOTitle, and then unfolds it so that it is sturdily set up mid-ring! He begins to climb rung-by-rung, and he moves at a rather rapid pace. Finally, he stops right at the very top. He looks up at the BOTitle, and then down at the fallen Reno, and Andy Rocker who is laid out not too far off. Hampton then turns to the crowd, and after he enjoys their pop for a moment, he turns fully around and looks down at Reno!
Styles- I dont think Hampton is done. He has that look in his eye!
Hampton raises his arms to the crowd, and then FLIES OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER WITH A HUGE SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS PHOENIX SPLASH!!!!!!!!!
Ross- MY GOD! MY GOD!
Soprano- EH! EH! EH!
RENO has been absolutely DECIMATED, DESTROYED, DEVOURED! Hampton gets back to his feet, and looks around at the crowd, who are absolutely losing their shit! Hampton then heads back over to the ladder, and begins to climb once again!
Ross- I think this time hes going for the title! We are going to have a Goddamn new Box Office Champion!
Styles- WAIT! LOOK UP THE RAMP! LOOK!
The camera quickly switches from the shot of Hampton climbing the ladder, to the ramp where SCOTTIE PP7 HAS COME RUSHING DOWN! THE ICW PRESIDENT IS FULL-SPEED SPRINTING DOWN INTO THE RING, TO HUGE HEAT FROM THE CROWD!
Ross- What the HELL is Scottie doing here?!?!
Soprano- Eh, hez da boss, show some RESPECT!
Scottie dives head first into the ring, and rushes right up to the ladder! With zero hesitation, Scottie almost spears the ladder, TIPPING IT OVER AND SENDING DAN HAMPTON CRASHING TO THE MAT, ALONG WITH THE LADDER!
Styles- THE BOSS IS PISSED!
Ross- DAMNIT!
Hampton hits HARD on the mat, and Scottie isnt done! He grabs Hampton by the hair, and pulls him up into his grasp! Standing above the previously-used stop sign, Scottie grabs a hold of Hampton in a reverse front face lock. MARTINI DDT ONTO THE STOP SIGN!!!!!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT!
Hamptons head bounces off like a rubber ball, and Scottie turns to the crowd, who are booing mercilessly! After a moment, The boss reaches down and grabs a hold of Hamptons arm, and reaches into his tuxedo jacket pocket. When he opens up, a pair of handcuffs are visible to the crowd!.
Ross- Oh no! NO!
Scottie holds Hamptons hand to the ropes, and handcuffs him to the ring rope! As the crowds boos continue to rain down, Scottie heads over to the ladder, picks it up, and re-assembles it right underneath the Box Office Title! He then heads over to the fallen Reno Starr, and picks him up off the mat!
Styles- SCOTTIE IS HELPING RENO UP!
Scottie revives Reno by slapping him around a bit, and when Reno comes to, Scottie guides him over to the ladder. Reno groggily, and very deliberately, begins to climb up the ladder.half way.to the top. RENO GRABS THE TITLE! RENO GRABS THE TITLE!
Ross- DAMNIT! DAMNIT ALL TO HELL! HAMPTON HAS BEEN SCREWED!
Winner, and still Box Office Champion, Reno Starr
ScottiePP7 rolls out of the ring, and begins to head up the ramp, smiling. Reno Starr takes his BOTitle and rolls to the outside, and helps up Andy Rocker. The two head back to the ring, as the crowd boos hellaciously.[/i]
Ross- DAMN! What a disgusting move by the boss.
Styles: What a match, though!
Soprano: Ey, dat was a pretty good match, I agree. It was just a lil' bit unfair. Lil' bit.
Ross: Well folks, as we clean up this mess and as the referee uncuffs Hampton, here are some pre-recorded comments from one of the participants in tonights main event.