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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 18:59:31 GMT -6
LIVE FROM THE SKYDOME IN TORONTO, ITS THE EWAS INAUGURAL PPV EVENT, JULY 2 DIE!
Pyrotechnics explode above the gigantic July 2 die sign adorning the entranceway, bringing the hot Toronto crowd to its feet in anticipation of the event! The arena darkens and the EvoTron replays a montage of footage showing various events leading up to todaySirius rejecting the chance to be in the triple-threat title match at the May 11 Onslaught, Avatar defeating Sirius to become the American Champion in a ladder match, Healius arrival and the formation of Team Clock, the Hardcore Kids assaults on EWA Head of Security William Shatner, Andrew Leigh screwing Healius, Ice and Eclypse and seizing one-half of the EWA Commisionership, Dave Dudley and Sign Guy attacking various EWA personalities, Evo firing Michael Cole, kayfabe setting the ring on fire and challenging Evo, Clock wheeling out a personal cell, Healius joining forces with Andrew Leigh, Ice becoming the EWA World Champion, the Gravediggaz carting Ice and Eclypse off in caskets, Hoosier hitting on Clock and Eclypse, Djibouti an chanting voodoo outside of Clocks office, Falstaff administering Falstaffs Honor to Fred the orangutan, Mr. PPV superkicking Falstaff onto a bed of tacks, nails and throwing knives, Kayfabe beating Omega X to a bloody pulp, Evos Enforcer attacking Kayfabe, an Hampton holding the EWA Heavyweight Title above Ices body, Sirius, Dave Dudley and Healius beating the crap out of each other, Night attacking Jose Ramirez and Qpublic, Qpublic bashing Night with a barbed-wire 2x4, Pain bashing Qpublic with the same weapon, Blackheart layed out in a pool of his own blood, with Jayson Annihilation staring down at him, the Hardcore Kid bumrushing Falstaff with a machete, scenes from the Shakesperian Cage match, Marvelous Maxwell saving Eclypse from the Gravediggaz, Marvelous Maxwell lying down for Mr. PPV to create Simply Martevlous and finally the EWA logo flashing across the screen
Jim Ross: Hello everyone and welcome to Toronto, Canada and the Skydome! Im Jim Ross alongside Joey Styles and Jerry the King Lawler and were ready for the EWAs first PPV extravaganza, July 2 Die!
Styles: My Gawd, I cant believe its finally here, and in EWA President Evolutions own city! What a way to kick things off!
Lawler: I for one cant wait to see Andrew Leigh and his men Dan Hampton and Dave Dudley wipe the floor with these idiots as they become the EWA Champion and the #1 contender right here tonight! The new era takes off like never before!
Ross: I wouldnt be so sure of that, Kingbut youre right, were gonna see two gigantic matches pitting the respective commissioners against each other, as Healius, Dave Dudley and dark horse Sirius battle for the #1 contendership in a triple threat match, and former EWA Champion Dan Hampton will square off against the current champion, Ice! Those are gonna be two explosive matches right there!
Styles: And what about our Hardcore Title match, William Shatner versus the Hardcore Kid! Im afraid somebodys actually going to die! The Hardcore Kid is the most insane individual I have ever seen!
Lawler: You wanna talk about insane? What about Cracker Jack, who makes his in-ring debut tonight against American Champion Avatar!
Styles: I dunno, I just dont like that guy, hes the personification of evil!
Ross: All that and a lot more here tonight, but lets get right to the action with our Tag-team Title ladder match!
The scene switches to the back where the camera shows PPV. The crowd can be heard cheering. PPV walks into a room with Production Room on the front of the door.
PPV: Hello?
One of the Production crew members comes up.
Crew member: Wow Mr.PPV!
PPV: Yeah, Ill sign it for you later. Right now, I have a match.
Crew member: I know! And were all set up for it. We have purple fireworks mixed in with black and silver fireworks. Also we have got the Lox to perform Wild Out as you two come out to the ring! I dont know what your friend Marvelous Maxwell told Clockwatcher, but she went all out.
PPV: You got who?
Crew member: The Lox.
PPV: Youre gonna have some garage band preform at a pay per view?
Crew member: Uh, theyre rappers. And theyre fam-
PPV: Whatever. Listen. Since Marvelous Maxwell doesnt hold up his end of the team, you can scratch that plan. Just play Holla Holla
Crew member: But, we already paid the Lox!
PPV: Well, I sent them home. Your loss. Now I have a match to win.
The scene changes back to the announce table.
Styles: What was that all about?
Lawler: It had to be something great!
Ross: Thats right coming up next we have...a unification match, as champions will take on champions.
Lawler: I dont wanna see this one! Who knows what those vile Gravediggers will do to Simply Marvelous!
Ross: King, I think its Gravedigg-AZ.
Lawler: Sorry, Im not DOWN JR.
A graphic comes on showing the match. A picture of the Gravediggaz with Andrew Leigh, Tag Team Belts around their waists on one half. And on the other, Marvelous Maxwell Wallace and Mr.PPV with Clockwatcher and their Tag Team Belts... Mr.PPV also has on his Peoples Championship Title. The scene switches back to Toronto arena when I am Simply Marvel is heard over the PA. Followed by a long pause. Then Holla Holla hits over the House Speakers!
Lawler: Its the Peoples Champion!
Ross: No hes not, The Rock is!
Lawler: Well then explain why Mr.PPV has the Peoples Championship belt?
Styles: Because he made it up!
Lawler: Youre just jealous.
Out from beneth the EvoTron comes Mr.PPV and Marvelous Maxwell. Mr.PPV stands at the top of the ramp, shining his Peoples Championship Title, as the crowd gives a deafining pop! But right behind him is Marvelous Maxwell. He has his Equilizer (a glass baseball bat) and looks confused at PPV. He walks down in front of PPV and plays the crowd! He gets a nice pop! Mr.PPV pushes him in the back and they head down towards the ring!
Styles: Was that a bit of jealousy coming from Mr.PPV?
Lawler: No, because Marvelous knows whos the one carrying the team!
They climb into the ring and get on opposing turnbuckles. They play the crowd up a lot of cheers from the crowd. They begin pointing at the FOUR belts hanging over the ring. A couple fans in the front throw things at PPV.
Ross: Thats uncalled for!
Lawler: No it isnt! Look, their panties!!
Styles: And I think I see a bra too!!
Someone then throws something at Marvelous. A pair of boxer shorts!!! He throws them back as Here Comes the Gravediggaz cues up, sending the crowd into boos!!! Out from the back comes Sickle...WITH A LADDER OVER HIS HEAD!!! He runs down the ramp and tosses the ladder into the ring!
Ross: I guess he comes packin!
Sickle slides into the ring and almost immediately Marvelous and Mr.PPV start kicking Sickle!
Styles: They are laying the boots to Sickle! But wheres The Shovler?
Marvelous picks up Sickle by the back of his neck. He whips him hard into the corner! Sickle hits with a thud, and slowly stummbles out of the corner. Mr.PPV follows it up with a PPVKick!!
Lawler: Sickle is going to be tasting rubber in his mouth for weeks after that shot!
Ross: But I cant help wondering where The Shovler is. Has he just left Sickle to fend for himself? That doesnt make any sense!
Marvelous and PPV look at one another then up at the FOUR belts hanging almost 20 feet above the ring. PPV picks up the ladder and begins setting it up.
Ross: Let me remind the folks at home, that for one of these teams to become the UNDISPUTED Tag Team Champions, they must come into possession of all four belts!
Styles: What happens if each man gets one belt?
Lawler: Yeah, wed be right back to where we started!
Ross: No, there must be a winner. One team must get all four belts!
Styles: Well right now it looks like Simply Marvelous is Simply going to take the tag team titles!
Lawler: And I called it!
As Mr.PPV puts a foot on the ladder, Here comes the Gravediggaz hits the PA again. Simply Marvelous looks to the entrance ramp. An engine can be heard!!
Ross: What is that?!?
From the right side of the ramp comes...THE GRAVEDIGGAZ HEARSE!!!
Styles: Its a hearse! A @#%$ing hearse!!
Ross: And I know whos driving it!
The hearse rolls down the aisle and near the ring. Out from the drivers side comes the other half of the Gravediggaz, The Shovler! He has a shovel in his hand as Simply Marvelous looks on. Marvelous Maxwell slides out of the ring and goes after The Shovler! He takes a hard shot in the stomach and buckles over on the outside!
Styles: Does Mr.PPV even care that Marvelous is down?
Lawler: Of course he does! Thats why hes gonna get the belts for the both of them!
Mr.PPV is still climbing to the top of the ladder, but his leg is grabbed by Sickle who has just gotten to his feet!! Mr.PPV tries to kick him off, BUT is hit hard in the back with the unforgiving steel of The Shovlers shovel! Mr.PPV falls off of the ladder grabbing his back! PPV rolls to the corner, but the Gravediggaz are hot on his heels. They start kicking him down in the corner!! Sickle backs away for a moment so that The Shovler can apply a choke hold!!
Lawler: Break the hold! Hes cheating!
Ross: Remember folks, everything in this is legal!
Shovler lets go, and Sickle rams his in the stomach with his shoulder. Sickle backs up and looks over his shoulder to Shovler, but turns back to BRAIN DAMAGE!!! (Cradle Piledriver) Shovler looks over and comes towards PPV. PPV kicks him in the stomach....PPVSLAM!!!!
Lawler: ALL MAN ALL AMAZING!!!!!
Both of the Gravediggaz are laid out next to each other. PPV looks over the crowd with an orgasmic expression!!
Lawler: Its time!!!
PPV hops around and the crowd chants W-O-R-M! He then does THE WORM!!!
Lawler: Electric Worm Double Elbow!!!!!
PPV drops the elbows, BUT Shovler grabs his elbow as hes coming down and reverses it into a Crippler Crossface!!!!
Ross: How in the hell was he able to do that!!
Lawler: He must have cheated! He must have!!
Shovler releases PPV and goes to the center of the ring, folding up the ladder. Sickle gets up and smacks PPV, and then goes over to the Shovler. They each grab an end of the ladder and eye PPV!
Styles: Theyre going to try and run over PPV with the ladder!
They get set....BUT from behind Marvelous Maxwell DESTROYS THE EQUILIZER OVER SICKLES HEAD!!!!!
Styles: What a shot!
Ross: Theres glass EVERYWHERE!!
Sickel doesnt go down!! He drops his end of the ladder, as blood trickles from his forehead. Marvelous picks him up from behind.... THATS SIMPLY MARVELOUS INTO THE SHATTERED GLASS!!!! Sickle is motionless, as Marvelous whips off some of the glass that stuck to him after his move. Unfortunately for him, The Shovler, still holding the other half of the ladder, rolls back so that Sickles end of the ladder uppercuts a bent over Marvelous Maxwell!!
Styles: Someone will not be walking out of this one. At least on their own two feet!
Lawler: Well it wont be PPV! Hes just biding his time, waiting to st--OHH!!
PPV picks up his Peoples Championship belt in all of the commotion and decks The Shovler with it!! PPV throws down the belt and plays to the crowd!!
Ross: What an ovation for this... Peoples Champ!
PPV slides out of the ring. He flips up the ring apron to a huge crowd pop! PPV pulls out a ladder from beneath the ring. He slides it into the ring and begins setting it up. PPV starts climbing up the ladder and the fans rise to their feet!!
Ross: Mr.PPV is just two steps away from becoming the undisputed tag champion along with Marvelous Maxwell!
Lawler: Just like he said, the King of the ladder matches! And the one who carries Simply Marvelous.
Styles: OH MY GAWD!!! Sickle is back on his feet!!
A bloody, beaten Sickle stummbles to his feet. He looks up at Mr.PPV....He runs at the ladder and pushes it with all of his might!!!! Mr.PPV goes flying off of the ladder...AND LANDS ON THE HOOD OF THE HEARSE!!!!!
Ross: My GOD!!!!
Sickle leans against the ropes and draws a throat slash across his neck towards PPV. The crowd boos loudly as Sickle flips them off! He revives Shovler and helps him up to his feet. Marvelous is also begining to get to his feet. Marvelous takes a swing at Sickle, who ducks it. He thrusts his shoulder into Marvelous gut and lifts him up off of the canvas. Shovler comes behind and graps Marvelous neck. They stay there for a few seconds and then both drop down with....THE KAOS EFFECT!!!!
Ross: Kaos Effect! Kaos Effect!
Styles: It looked like they shattered Marvelous spine!!
They get up to a few pops for the move, but mostly boos! Then Sickle slides out of the ring and scraps Mr.PPVs limp body off of the hood of the Gravediggaz hearse. He rolls PPV back into the ring where Shovler lays a few kicks to him. He then tells Sickle to hoist him up and.....ANOTHER KAOS EFFECT OF MR.PPV!!!!!
Lawler: They cant do that to the Only FN Show!
Styles: Its all Gravediggaz now! They can win this thing!!
The Gravediggaz look up at the belts. But then shake their heads. Instead they grab PPV by the feet and drag him out of the ring!!
Ross: They don;t even care about winning this thing, they just want to prove that they are better then Simply Marvelous!
Lawler: Well they could do that by simply getting the titles.
PPV is dragged along the cement on the outside towards the back of the herse. Shovler opens up the door, and Sickle tosses Mr.PPV inside!!! Shovler pulls out another ladder out of the hearse, and the two Gravediggaz carry it to the ring.
Styles: They locked Mr.PPV in that hearse!!
The Gravediggaz toss the ladder into the ring and they both slide in. Shovler sets up one ladder, while Sickle sets up the other one.
Ross: This is it!
Marvelous Maxwell struggles to his feet. Sickle and the Shovler begin to climb their respective ladders! Marvelous starts climbing up after Sickle on the other side of his ladder. As the Gravediggaz reach up to the belts Marvelous meets Sickle at the top!! The begin trading blows back and forth!! Shovler reaches up and grabs one of the titles!!
Ross: The Shovler has one belt!!!
Lawler: Only three more to go!!
BUT Shovler uses the belt and hits Marvelous with it!! Marvelous falls....over Sickles shoulder!!!! Shovler grabs his neck....KAOS EFFECT OFF OF THE TOP OF THE LADDERS!!!!!!!
Styles: KAOS EFFECT FROM ALMOST TWENTY FEET IN THE AIR!!!!!
Lawler: Hes gotta be dead! Hes just got to!
Ross: Mr.PPV will be feeling that in the morning for sure!
Lawler: You mean Marvelous Maxwell!
Ross: Youre right!
Styles: Senile @#%$.
The Gravediggaz high five and begin climbing the ladders again. They climb up to the top and Sickle grabs another belt from the hooks. Suddenly, and engine revs up!!!
Ross: Isnt that....
In the windsheild of the hearse, Mr.PPV is sitting!!! HE PEELS OUT INTO THE RING!!!!! PPV CRASHES INTO THE RING!!!!! BOTH MEN GO FLYING OFF OF THEIR LADDERS!!!!! SHOVLER GOES SOARING INTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE BREAKING IT IN HALF!!!!! AND SICKLE FALLS INTO THE WINDSHEILD OF THE HEARSE!!!!!!
Styles: WHAT A MATCH! WHAT A MATCH!!!
PPV steps out of the hearse and rips one of the belts from Sickles hand. He puts it around his waist and slides into the ring. Marvelous Maxwell is starting to regain his senses and pushes up to his feet. Marvelous and PPV climb up the ladders and grab the remaining two belts!!!
Lawler: Undisputed Tag Team CHAMPIONS!!!
Ross: No wait!! The Shovler still is grasping onto one of the belts! Simply Marvelous needs this last belt!
Styles: And Shovler doesnt look like hes about to give it up!
Limping and moving slowly, The Shovler grasp hard onto the final Tag Team Title! He goes around the ring towards the hearse. Marvelous and PPV are climbing down, still counting the belts and looking for the forth one.
Ross: I think that PPVs Peoples Championship belt is confusing those two. They dont realize that Shovler is getting away with that last belt!
Lawler: Stop him!
Shovler gets into the hearse and tries to start it up. PPV and Marvelous hear the engine and make their way to the outside.
Styles: I think when PPV crashed into the ring he wrecked that car!
Ross: And The Shovlers get away!
PPV gets on the front side of the door, and Marvelous in the rear. (Get your mind out of the gutter). Shovler opens the door, hitting PPV with it!! BUT Marvelous grabs him from behind...
Ross: Simply Marvel--wait!
Marvelous spins Shovler around...RIGHT INTO A PPVKICK!!! Marvelous picks up the last title off of the ground.
Winners and Undisputed Tag Team Champions, Simply Marvelous
Lawler: They won!!! Whoo hoo!!!!
Ross: But it doesnt look like theyre finished!
PPV tosses The Shovler back into the hearse. Marvelous runs to the back. PPV hooks around all three of his belts and plays up the crowd!!!
Styles: Where did Marvelous Maxwell go?
Minutes later, out from the back comes....A BULLDOZER!!!!
Ross: Thats a bulldozer!!! What are they going to do?!?
On the side of the bulldozer is written in purple spray paint, Simply Marvelous He stops it just below the short ramp. PPV slides out of the ring and grabs a microphone from the timekeepers table.
Mr.PPV: For those of you with the benefit of flash photography. What you are about to see is a once in a lifetime event. For fifteen seconds only, you will see a demonstration of how Simply Marvelous is simply bulldozing over the competition! Hit it!
Ross: They wouldnt!
Lawler: They will!
Styles: Good Gawd!
Marvelous Maxwell slams on the accelerator and the bulldozer plows away. Tearing up mats and debris in its way. It slams into the hearse and begins crummpling it up against the ring! Marvelous turns off the engine and gets on top of the bulldozer to a huge pop! EMTs rush out as Simply Marvelous walks to the back!
Styles: What we just saw was...
Lawler: ...Simply Marvelous!! HAHA!
Ross: And look at all of that gold they walked away with! Is that the future of the EWA?
Styles: Who knows?
Lawler: I do! I do!
Ross: While they clean up all of this debris, lets talk about what we are going to see next, the four-corners elimination match featuring four up-and-coming EWA stars!
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:00:20 GMT -6
Lawler: Its all about Night, who care about QPublic, Pain and Djibouti Dan? They dont stand a chance!
Styles: I have to agree with the King on this one, JR!
The arena lights fade out into a dim blue. Tylers Song hits the PA, as Night slowly makes his way down the ramp. He generates very little crowd reaction.
Lawler: Whoa, look at this guy! I dont think anybody can take this guy down!
Styles: Well, were about to find out.
As Night climbs into the ring, OutKast hits the PA. Night turns around to see QPublic running down the ramp to a huge pop. QPublic slides into the ring. Night goes for a clothesline, but QPublic ducks. He bounces into the opposite ropes, and slides through Nights legs. Night turns around right into a big spinning heel kick from Qpublic!
Ross: Well it looks like these two arent going to wait for the bell or their other opponents, so I guess were unofficially underway here!
Iron Man hits the PA, as Pain makes his way down the ramp very slowly as the crowd boos.
Styles: Hes taking his sweet ole time.
Lawler: Its a brilliant plan. Let the other two kick each others asses, and then clean up the scraps, haha!
Ross: Unlike Qpublic, Pain is just afraid of Night. What a damn coward.
In the ring, Night is back up. QPublic grabs him, and whips him into the ropes, but Night reverses, sending QPublic into the ropes. QPublic bounces off, and Night slams him down to the mat with a hiptoss. Pain is now at ringside, and climbing onto the apron.
Ross: Took him long enough to get here.
Night brings QPublic to his feet, and holds him up in midair by his neck using both hands!
Ross: What power by Night!
Night holds QPublic high over his head, but Pain slingshots himself over the ropes, lands on the middle rope, and hits both QPublic and Night with an Asai Moonsault!
Lawler: Man! I wanted to see Night destroy QPublic!
Night crawls to his feet, but eats a standing dropkick from Pain. QPublic gets to his feet, but eats a jumping calf kick from Pain!
Ross: Pain is actually controlling the match, hard to believe!
Pain runs into the ropes, and leapfrogs the downed QPublic. He bounces off of the opposite ropes, but both QPublic and Night are up. They slam him down with a double spinebuster!
Styles: Good Gawdteamwork?
Voodoo hits the PA, as Djibouti Dan makes his way down the ramp, accompanied by a recovered Fred, to a moderate crowd pop.
Styles: The Djiboutani mad man is in a total daze, he doesnt seem to know where he is.
Ross: Lord, does he ever?
Lawler: This guy does nothing but chant voodoo outside of Clock's officeI don't get him at all.
Dan wanders down the ramp, surveying the audience. He seems very confused. He wanders over to ringside. In the ring, QPublic swings at Night with a punch. He nails him, but Night no sells! Again....same results. QPublic bounces into the ropes, but Night takes him down with a shoulder block. He runs into the ropes, but Djibouti Dan takes his legs out from under him, and pulls him to the outside!
Ross: Dan still making his presence felt!
Dan smashes Nights head into the ring apron, and then slides into the ring. Fred retreats to the barricade. Night slides back in and the bell rings.
Styles: Now were officially under way!
Ross: Just to remind you folks at home, this is a single elimination match. Two competitors in the ring at once, and they can tag anybody involved in the match in. It looks like Djibouti Dan and QPublic are gonna start out here.
Dan and QPublic hook up in the middle of the ring. Dan takes control with an arm wrench, and whips QPublic into the ropes. QPublic bounces off, leaps up at Dan, and takes him down with a flying headscissors! Dan gets up slowly. QPublic delivers a knife edge chop to Dan.
Crowd: WHOO!
And againand againand again!
Crowd: WHOO!
QPublic backs Dan into the ropes, and whips him across the ring, but Dan reverses QPublic into the ropes, and Dan pancakes him into the middle of the ring. Dan runs to the opposite ropes, and Pain makes a blind tag.
Lawler: He didnt even notice that, haha!
Dan leaps over QPublic, but Pain enters the ring. He runs at Dan, and knocks him down with a big spear!
Ross: Dan never saw that coming.
Pain laughs at Dan, as the ref is trying to get Dan out of the ring. QPublic sneaks up behind Pain. He grabs him in a waistlock. Pain tries to power out, but falls to the mat. QPublic lifts Pain back up to his feet. He then lifts him overhead and slams him down with a German suplex!! He holds the pin, but the ref is still trying to deal with Dan.
Styles: Nice move by QPublic, but Dan has the ref distracted.
QPublic holds the pin, but the ref is still busy with Dan. QPublic breaks the pin, and walks over to the ref. He gets his attention and starts yelling at him.
Ross: QPublic letting the ref hear about his mistake!
Lawler: The ingrate should be disqualified for that!
QPublic is still arguing with the ref, when Pain grabs him from behind and runs him into the ropes. They both roll back off of the ropes, and end up with QPublic caught in a sitting package pin...1....2.....kick out!
Styles: That fool QPublic almost cost himself the match arguing with the ref!
Ross: He's a seasoned veteran and should know better
QPublic and Pain are both quick to their feet. Pain jumps at QPublic with a jumping front crescent kick, but QPublic ducks! QPublic slaps pain to the mat with a sidewalk slam, and pulls one leg under the other. Hes locking in a Texas cloverleaf!
Ross: QPublic looking for a Texas cloverleafbut can he turn it over?
QPublic has the legs set up, but he cant get Pain over! He tries to turn him, but Pain holds onto the leg. Pain pushes QPublic off of him!
Lawler: See, a punk like QPublic could never beat Pain.
Pain is up to his feet. He grabs QPublic, and whips him into the corner. QPublic goes over the top rope and lands on the apron (a la Justin Credible). Pain walks over to QPublic, but eats a big guillotine! QPublic hops over the ropes, and walks him into the corner. He sets him up on the top rope, and jumps off with a Big Suicideplex!
Ross: High risk maneuver by QPublic, and it pays off!
QPublic covers, 1....2....kick out! QPublic walks over to the ropes, and tags in Djibouti Dan.
Styles: QPublic saving some strength for later.
Dan is looking the other way, and doesnt notice the tag. Pain gets up slowly. He gets to his feet, and then runs at Dan with a big dropkick! Dan falls to the floor!
Lawler: That moron isnt paying attention at all tonight.
Dan gets to his feet on the outside. The ref walks over and starts to count him out....1.....2....3.....4.... Fred directs Dan back towards the ring......5....6....Dan is back in the ring. Pain runs at him, but Dan catches him. He holds him for a moment, and then hits a quick running powerslam!
Ross: He calls that the Madcapper!
Djibouti Dan gets up quickly, and then points down.
Ross: Pain is about to feel a lot of pain, hehe.
Styles: Ummmm
Lawler: Thats very funny, JR.
Djibouti Dan lifts Pain up, and holds him in a Gorilla Press. He holds him there for many seconds, as he looks around the arena
Ross: This is like nothing to him.
Lawler: Maybe he forgot what he was doing, haha.
Dan holds him up still, but Pain wriggles free! He lands on Dans shoulders, and rolls him up with a clutch pin! 1....2.....3!
Eliminated: Djibouti Dan
Ross: It looked like Dan didnt know where he was, and he just got eliminated!
The ref gets the dazed Djibouti Dan up, and directs him out of the ring. Fred brings Dan to the back. Pain is up, and he raises his arms in victory. QPublic hits the ring, and spears him down to the mat!
Styles: Good Gawd, listen to that impact!
QPublic brings Pain up to his feet. He pauses for a moment, and gives him a rather lame looking 3 punch knockdown.
Ross: Thats the Public Humiliation, folks.
Lawler: The only one hes humiliating is himself.
QPublic walks over towards the ropes to play the crowd, but Night tags himself in!
Lawler: Now Pains in trouble, he better get out of there now!
Pain crawls to his feet, and is grabbed around the neck by Night! Night lifts him up, spins, and slams him down with a big Tornado Chokeslam!
Ross: What a display of power by the big man!
Styles: That did it for sure!
Night make s a nonchalant cover....1.....2....another kick out!
Styles: He shouldve hooked the leg.
Lawler: It didnt matter, that definitely was a 3!
Night gets up, and brings Pain to his feet, but gets a low blow!
Ross: We wont be seeing any little Nights at ringside in the future, folks.
Pain places the doubled over Nights head between his legs, and double underhooks him. Pain goes to jump, but Night holds his weight down! Pain tries to jump again, but Night flips him over with a backbody drop! Pain holds onto his hips, and tries to sunset flip him, but Night holds his ground, and sits down on Pains chest!
Lawler: AAAAAAAH! That killed him.
The ref counts....1....2....3!
Eliminated: Pain
Styles: Pain has been eliminated! Were down to two men!
Lawler: OK, I got $50 on Night!
Ross: Its illegal to bet on wrestling matches and work for the federation.
Lawler: Nobodyll know if you keep your mouth shut.
Pain rolls out of the ring, screaming curses at Night. He holds onto his chest, as he grabs a beer from a fan, and retires back up the ramp. The ref signals for QPublic to enter the ring.
Styles: Only QPublic and Night standand QPublic is about to fall big-time!
The two stare each other down. Night runs at QPublic with a clothesline. QPublic rolls out of the way. Night turns around, and QPublic leaps up high with a hurracanrana, but Night holds onto him. Night pulls him back up, and slams him back down with a big Sitdown Powerbomb! 1....2....kick out!
Ross: Night was within inches of ending it right there!
Night pushes QPublic through the pin. He gets up, and brings QPublic to his feet. He whips QPublic into the ropes, when suddenly, the arena goes black!
Ross: We may be experiencing some technical difficulties here
Lawler: I hate when this happens, it's so eerie!
An unfamiliar distorted bass rhythm starts up. Coordinated with the music, words, appearing to be scratched into film begin to flash on the screen (music - Belly of the Beast, By Glenn Danzig, off of Satan's Child). Too Many Gods (flash) Too Many Judges (flash) One True God (flash) One True Judgment (flash) One True Judge (flash) Reverend (flash) Jacob (flash) Cross. Then, as the main rhythm kicks in, Jacob Cross walks out onto the entryway. His hat and glasses the same, but now the Overcoat rests over a bare chest. He gets a good crowd pop!
Ross: Looks like were about to be joined by the Reverend Jacob Cross!
Lawler: Hold me!
Styles: My good Gawd, he's a big guy!
Allowing the coat to drop to the floor (and reavealing many patterned scars on his back and arms), Jacob (illuminated all the while by strobing red and blue lights) raises his arms to his chest, cutting a cross into his abdomen!
Lawler: YUCK!
As blood begins to seep from the cuts, he raises his arms into the crucifixion pose, grinning like the damned...and walks to the ring!
Lawler: Hes headed right for us, yikes!
In the ring, Night and QPublic pause...somewhat unsure as to what Cross's purpose is.
Styles: They dont know what hes doing here, and I dont either! Make him go away!
Jumping over the top rope, Cross sizes both men up...and turns his back on them. QPublic makes a move toward him, as if ushering him out, and gets paid for his courtesy with a leaping superkick to the chin, sending QPublic over the top rope and out to the floor! The bell rings, Night has lost the match!
Eliminated: Night.
Winner of the melee, QPublic
Ross: Jacob Cross just cost Night the match!
Lawler: How?! Don't tell me this is a victory by disqualification!
Styles: Nick Patrick just called for the bell and booked! He wants no part of these guys!
Lawler: Look at the elevation Cross got on that superkick, unbelievable!
Enraged, the monster swings at Cross, who ducks the punch, rises up, and locks on the Hand of God! Night struggles against the shorter, but more powerful man, but his struggles keep getting weaker and weaker! The bell is ringing like a fire started backstage and several EWA officials come running out to break the hold!
Ross: It's pandemonium out here!
As they surround the two men, prying at Cross's arms, his eyes open widely, and a massive grin crosses his face! He Godplexes Night into the turnbuckle! Grinning and laughing, he walks out to his music, leaving QPublic still struggling to get up and Night actually truly down for the first time in his EWA career.
Ross: Finally, someone has Night's number, and its Jacob Cross!
Styles: Can you imagine those two and the maniacal Cracker Jack all in the same ring? Lord, it would be apocalyptic!
Ross: Well anyways, would you believe that this next matchup involves a sadistic manand a former Captain from the Star ship Enterprise?
King: HAHA! I have been waiting a month for this match, JR! Hardcore Kid takes on..are you ready for this Joey? William Shatner! Haha, our Head of Security!
Styles: Wellall I can say is..only in the EWA
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:01:12 GMT -6
Ross: Well fans Im sure you are all aware of the fued that has been going on between on Hardcore Kid and Mr.Shatner..Something that can be trailed back all the way to our second broadcast of Massive Monday Night, King! King: Really? That long? And here we thought the Austin/McMahon fued was greatwait until this one is over! Haha Suddenly, a loud home welcome reaction from the crowd brings out the Hardcore Kid as Amityville cues up on the sound system! A few seconds pass by but theres NO Hardcore Kid! Ross: Well, we all here his music, Kingbut just where the hell is the man? King: I knew it all alongHes chicken JR! He probably missed his flight just so he doesnt have to get it on with Bill Shatner! I hear the guy throws a good Vulcan death grip Styles: Well were livethe Skydome is packedand quite frankely I was ready to call one helluva Hardcore matchECW style! After a good minute of Eminem spitting out lyricsthe music suddenly stops, bringing confusion to everyone in attendance King: Okay.now what? However just as Lawler says that the theme from STAR TREK: The Movie begins to play. The crowd gets on their feethalf cheering, half booing as William Shatner is seen looking through the curtain. He pauses, looks around, then wheels himself out onto the stagein his very own WHEELCHAIR! King: Hey! The captian is hurt! Ross: Oh gimme a break! A look of pain is seen on Shatners face as he lowers his t-shirt collar, making sure everyone can see the neck brace tightly fitted on. Shatner stares into the crowd, wavesthen continues to wheel himself down the aisle! Ross: You know I had the damn feeling of thisI knew something like this would happen Styles: How can you predict a man having an accident, I mean theres no question about itthe man is hur--- Ross: OH SHUT UPyou guys think the man is actually hurt? Give me a damn break! King: Okay JR, stop or else youll give yourself an unlcer! As Shatner begins to circle the ring area, he motions for the microphone then grabs his neck in pain. A faint chant of BULL@#%$ can suddenly be heard. The Head of Security wheels himself directly infront of the announcers booth then raises the mic Shatner: HelloToronto! The crowd gets a bit louder, cheering to the sound of Toronto. Styles: Well thats a way to get a cheap pop! Shatner: NowIm not quite sure whats going on here. I actually expected the Hardcore Kid to be out here so I could unfortunately tell him about my sad newsBut, since hes not here, I must tell all of you anyways The crowd begins to boo profoundleyas if knowing whats about to be said Shatner: You seeAs you all knowlast night was Canada Day! (another cheap pop!).And well, me being a true Canadian(some more cheap pops).I had to celebrate! Ross: Let me guess, he slipped on his wig King: Shut up JR, let the man talk Shatner: Well, it was at one of my lovely estates in Hamilton where I was holding a Canadas Day Party when there appeard to be an accidentAnd thats why you see me here tonight, placed in a wheelchair, wrapped in this neck brace Styles: What kinda party is he talking about? King: Does Hamilton even have estates? Ross: Canadas answer to the Dumpsthat being Hamilton folks Shatner: Sounfortunately, I am unable to compete here tonight in this hardcore matchI know, I know (agreeing with the fans).this disappoints me tootrust me, it does. But, I guess doctors ordersare doctors orders..ouch! A sudden pain is felt in Shatners neck as he places the microphone infront of JR then begins to wheel himself around the ringpostHowever as he does thatthe sudden lyrics of Eminem once again are heard as Amityville blares througout the Skydome!!!! King: heywait a minute! Styles: Amityville is heardthat only means one thing!! King: A 10 minute entrance by some beer-drinking, kindo stick swinging hardcore legend? Styles: Ummm no Ross: Listen to this sudden outburst!!! Its none other then Canadas ownHARDCORE KID, King!!! The crowd gets on their feet as Shatners eyes slowly begin to widen. He then drops his mouth in shock and slowly begins to stand up, as if forgetting that he is suppose to be injured!!! But the sight he sees would have anybody thinking about running.. Ross: The Sadisctic creature they call Hardcore Kid is here!!!! And!! I guess he drives!!!!! King: WHAT? ?? AAAAHHHHHH!! Suddenly, out of the curtains, to the left of the EvoTron, The Simply Marvellous BULLDOZER is seen making its way to the ring!!! Its shovel raised in the airand with the Hardcore Kid behind the wheel!!!! The POP of this site is HUGE as a loud chant of Kid, Kid, Kid is suddenly heard overtop of the music! Styles: A @#%$IN BULLDOZER!!! OH MY GAWD! Wait a minutebulldozer? Again? Ross: I bet ya business is sure to pick up here folks! The HUGE Catipillar inches closer and closer to the ring..until stoping only a few feet in the aisle! After a few seconds, The Kid smiles then looks into the crowd as the large shovel begins to lower.allowing the camera to get in and view many several weapons inside!!! King: AHHHHHH!!! This guys sadisctic JR!!! HesHes.crazy! Hes sick! Ross: Hes about to stomp a mudhole in the Captians ASS.AND STOMP HIM DRY DAMMIT!!! Suddenly, as the crowd is giving of a HUGE ovation, The Kid climps out of the machine then raises his hand to the crowd. He then reaches into the bulldozers front shovel and pulls out a couple chairs. He tosses them into the ring, along with a cheese grater, a couple sacks, a crowbar, a pane of glass, a can of gasoline, a blow torch, a hammer, two cans of WD-40, 5 bread pans, and a trash can!! The ovation is now HUGE as he suddenly lifts the ring cover and pulls out 3 tables!!!!! Ross: (over the crowd) OH YEAH!!!! THIS PLACE IS EXPLOSIVEAND THAT DAMN KID IS GONNA KILL CAPTIAN KIRK!!! Suddenly, with Shatner looking as if hes seen a ghost, The Kid pulls one last object from the bulldozerthen raises the tac-filled guitar above his head!!! King: OH NO!! NOT THE GUITAR, JR! Styles: SOMEBODY IS GONNA GET THE @#%$ KICKED RIGHT OUTTA THEM.THIS.MY FRIENDSIS HARD-@#%$ING-CORE!!! With the crowd jackedand all three announcers yelling with excitement, The Hardcore Kid points the guitar towards Shatner then runs his way towards him, running buy both ring posts and to the wheelchair. Shatner immediately gets up then jumps up onto the announcers table..hoping to get away!!! However, he doesnt as the Kid grabs Shatner by his pantsstopping MR.PRICELINE in his tracks! Ross: OH YEAH!!! KILL HIM DAMMITTHIS IS HARDCORE! King: AHH JIM ROSS, LISTEN TO YOURSELFTHIS ISNT YOU! Ross: I KNOW KINGBUT THIS IS THE EWA DAMMIT!! THE EXTREME WRESTLING ALLIANCE! With the guitar still in hand, the Kid quickly yanks on Shatners pantspulling them off completely! Exposing nothing but blue 3rd Rock From The Sun boxers!!! The crowd is deafening as the Kid tosses the pants towards The King then swings the guitar towards Shatners butt TAC-FILLED GUITAR SHOT TO THE ASS!!! A loud crack is heard as thousands of tacs explode upon impactmany sticking right into the butt of Bill Shatner! The impact sends the man off the table onto the ground as pieces of guitar and thousands of tacs lay all over Jim Ross, Joey Styles, and The King!! Ross: OH MY GODWHAT A THUNDEROUS SHOT!!! WHAT A SHOT TO THE ASS!!! King: AHHHTACS ARE EVERYWHERE, JR! AND LOOK.YOU GUYS ARE LIKING THIS!!! RUN BILLRUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! Pain is easily seen on Bills face as he gets up in only his boxers and a black t-shirt then tries to get away however the Kid grabs him by the hair then spins him aroundmeeting face to face!! Ross: Take a look Bill!! Look into the eyes of the man whos gonna skin you alive!! King: AHHH JR!! This is NOT RIGHT! Shatners expression is classic but is suddenly inturupted by a hard head butt by the Kid! Bill goes down hard as The Kid looks into the ring, then pulls out a sac!!! The crowd is giving of the loudest ovation possible as Torontos own Hardcore Kid begins to pour the contents out from the sac! The cameraman cant help but notice thousands of nails and pieces of broken glass being dumped at ringside, right infront of the announcers! With the King standing in fear, The Hardcore Kid reaches into the ring and pulls out a can of gasoline!!! Styles: That Kid now..pouring gasoline all over the debris of nails and glass!!! Only one thing is missing guysand thats a light! With the Kid searching throughout his pants for a light, Shatner manages to get up to his feet and quickly roll into the ring! He does so right in time as the Kid pulls out a box of matches.then strikes a few matches at a time! Styles: Now this is getting better! Ross: OH WERE GONNA HAVE A BARBEQUE IN A FEW MINUTES, KING! King: NO! NO! No! This is not right! Hes an actor, not a wrestler, JR!! Stop this! Before going in after Bill, The Kid reluctantly drops the matches into the pool of gasolineigniting it instantly!!!! The crowd once again begins a Kid, Kid, Kid chant as the sound of flames and glass crackling can be heard throghout the arena. With this fire going on at ringside, The Kid notices a couple security guards running over with a fire extinguisher. The Kid wastes no time and grabs a steel chair STEEL CHAIR SHOT!!! The one man goes down hard as the Kid quicky turns around for the other STEEL CHAIR SHOT!!! Ross: MY GOD THIS KID IS KILLING EVERYBODY! Styles: Nobody is gonna be able to touch his fire thats for sure! King: AHH, nobodys leftsomebody come here and put out this fire! Ah JR, Im starting to sweat! These flames are high! With the fire now at waiste level, the Kid rolls into the ring with the chair. He gets up and raises his face to Shatner BREAD PAN TO THE FACE!!! The shot echoes throughout the building as The Kid backpeddles into the corner. Meanwhile, a very upset and rather determined Bill Shatner raises the bread pan once again then approaches the Kidnailing him again over the HEAD!!! King: HEYLook at that guys! Haha, Bill is Hardcore! Ross: Well two quick shots to the head has the Kid dazed, King! Styles: And now Shatner has the pane of glass!!! As if not believing hed stoop to this level, Bill frowns in anger but continues his plans as he stands the pane of glass up infront of the Kid in the corner. Shatner backpeddles a few feet, grabs a nearby chair then swings towards the glassCAUSING THE GLASS TO SHATTER, RIGHT INFRONT OF THE KID!!!! Ross: OH MY GOD! King: AH, UNBELIEVABLE!! Pieces of glass pour all over the Kid as he accidently rolls out between the ropes and falls all the way to the outside! Bringing pieces of glass down with him E-dubb-A.E-dubb-AE-dubb-A With the Kid slowly getting back up, Shatner drops the chair then begins to panicrealizing that the Kid is unstopable! However, as the Kid rolls back inside, Shatner approaches him and lays in a few kicks, hitting him over the back! He then muscles his way to roll the Kid over and goes for the pin.12Easy kick out by the Hardcore Kid! Styles: I dont think youll beat the man like that Bill! Ross: Im afriad it is gonna take a lot more in order to keep that man down! King: A lot more? He smashed a pane of glass in his eyeswhat more has to be done!! Oh no, Bill I dont like thisrunaway while youre still breathing!!! Looking like Pat Patterson, Shatner gets back up and immediately grabs the chair once again. He tells a few fans at ringside to shut up then waits for the Kid to stand up King: OH NO! Ross: Bill nowI believe is gonna take a run at it, King!! The Kid easily gets up then turns around to notice Bill running straight towards him with the chair. With the fire still burning directly behind him, The Kid calmly lowers his head and takes Bill full speed KID FLIPS BILL OUT OF THE RING, DOWN INTO THE FIRE BELOW!!!! Ross: OH MY GODOH MY GODOH MY GOD King: AHHHHHHHH Thats a little too HOT! Styles: OOOH My GAWWD!! The entire crowd is on their feet as Bill amazingly lands on his feet but slips backwards, hitting the ring apron.then falling out of the flames!!! The loudest HOLY @#%$ chant can now be heard as The Kid raises his hand and smiles Ross: THAT MY FRIENDSIS THE MOST SADISTIC MAN IN THIS DAMN BUSINESS! King: Oh come on JR, This man doesnt belong in wrestling! I mean look at him! Hes someone youd see in one of those circuses With the crowd continuing to cheer on, HCK grabs another chair then begins to go after Shatner who has managed to limp away from the fire and towards the bulldozer! Shatner is heard pleaing for mercy as the Kid---realizing that he may get away---drops the chair and runs towards the Captain! However, Bill is quick as he manages to jump up onto one of the bulldozers wheels and continue to climb the machine!! Ross:never in my life would I expect to call a match with William Shatner let alone calling him getting thrown in fire, King! King: And look at Bill! Hes all burnt at sweating! His boxers have a hole in them, his t-shirts rippedand listen to these morons in Canadatheyre cheering! Suddenly, the morons get even louder as The Kid begins to set up the three tables he pulled out earlier! He sets the two beside eachother, then places the 3rd ontop the two tablesdirectly in the middle! With this task done, the Kid rubs his hands together then stares up at Billwho is now waiting for him atop the Bulldozer. No time is wasted as the Kid immediately begins his journey, grabbing onto a wheel and pulling himself up. The higher he getsthe louder the crowd seems to cheer! Styles: THIS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD FOR BILL! Ross: WELL THE KID IS ON HIS WAY UP! SHATER CLIMBING THE BULLDOZER TO BEGIN WITHPROVING MY THEORY ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT THE MAN IS A TOTAL SCREWBALL! King: AHHH! Hes up there! Both men are ontop of the machine, JR! As the Kid carefully gets up, Bill takes a step towards him and hits him with a couple closed fists. However they dont even faze the man as he gets to his feet then delivers a HUGE knee to Bills gut! Setting him up perfectly for a powerbomb!!!! Styles: This I assure youwill kill the man! Ross: 30,000 plus on their feet!!! AND OH BOY DONT DO IT!! ITLL KILL HIM!!! The Kid places his arms around Shatner then liftsHowever Bill manages to pull himself down! HCK tries for another.ONCE AGAIN, Bill kicks his way down! Shatner then powers up to the vertical positionsending The Kid up and over HCK FLIPPED OFF THE BULLDOZER THROUGH 3 TABLES TO THE GROUND!!!
HOLY @#%$HOLY @#%$HOLY @#%$Ross: OH MY GOD! RIGHT THROUGH 3 DAMN TABLES, KING! King: OH MY!! HAHALOOK AT HIM JR, BILL SHATNERs HARDCORE!!!! Styles: He must have fell a good 10 feet in total! Off a bulldozer through 3 tables??? OH MY GAWD! With the Kid laying unconscious through the rubbleShatner suddenly makes his way to the ground, jumping half way and making the cover1.2.KICK OUT BY THE KID!!! King: WHAT??? Ross: Its NOT OVER thats what! Bill tried to get the quick pin but failed! Run BillRun! A very afraid Bill Shatner quickly gets up, pulls off his neck brace then backpeddles his way up the aisle. He raises his hands to the crowd as if motioning that its over! However as he does so, The Kid sits up (a la Undertaker) and looks towards Billwho sees this and now runs to the back! The cameraman follows as both run their way in the back, dodging technicians and other stars in the process Styles: HEYwhere in the hell are they going now? King: Oh noBills probably going to find Scottie! Beam him up Scottie! Get him outta here, quickly! Ross: Well Shatner has left the ring area but our cameras are still with him folks as we now see the Kid chasing afterhim! With Shatner dumping tables, and trashcans in order to cause blockageThe Kid grabs a chainsaw from a nearby table then starts it up! The crowd (watching on with the EvoTron) pops huge to this sight!!! The Kid then makes his way after Shatner, kicking the trashcans to the side, and hoping over the tables! Ross: Well well try our best to stay with the action fans as both men now in the back somewhere in the Skydome! King: I still cannot believe what we have seen already here in this match! What more could happen? I mean, you have a guy shatter a glass over another guys face.you have him then get dumped over a pile of nails with burning flames.you get a man getting tossed of a bulldozer through 3 tablesI meanthis is not right! Styles: Youre right Kingits not rightITS HARDCORE! Finally the chase comes to an end as Shatner comes across a locked doorway! He desperately tries to open itshaking and kicking the door in the process. Meanwhile, nothing but the LOUD roaring of an approaching chainsaw is heard as the Kid walks straight towards Bill! King: Ah BILL!! WATCHOUT! He turns around in time and drops to his ass as the Kid throws the chainsaw where he was to be standing! The weapon drops to the ground, just missing Shatner as the Kid grabs him by the hair then rams him hard into the door, busting both the door---and his face---open! Styles: OH MY GAAWWD! His face is now bleeding! AND that door was originally locked!!!! With Shatner still in his hands, The Kid walks over to a nearby table, but before anything can be done with it, Bill manages to grab a pot of hot coffee and smash it into HCKS FACE!!! Hot steaming coffee spills everywhere as HCK raises his hands over his face! King: How many sugars do you take with that? Haha! Ross: Well no lawsuit there folks, this is all legal in this hardcore match! And I cant believe that our own Head of Security is still in this match up, King! King: Well I told you so JR, I told everybody! Everyone thought this was gonna be a cake walk but look what we have here! Captain Hardcore is in charge!!! Styles: And hes using the wood too!!! With HCK still wiping the coffee from his face, Shatner drops to one knee then gives him a LOW BLOW!!! Causing the Kid to fall over and lay onto the table! With he temporarily in position, Shatner quickly leaves the scene then comes backwith a LADDER!!! King: Look at this JR! If tables and fires and glass wasnt enough, Haha! Styles: And Mr.Priceline is now setting up the ladder! A man who was dropped into fire a few moments ago at ringside! Bill is quick to set up as he wipes the sweat from his brow then quickly begins to climb up, mumbling a few words all the way Ill show you hardcore youyouBASTARD.you good for nothing little BASTARDYouYOU PUNK! YOU DUMB PUNK!Bill completes his journey then stares down at the Kid who unbelievably managed to get to his feet, and climb up after him!!!! A look of SHOCK is on Shatners face as he freezes in fear, allowing the Kid to reach the top rung! He lays in a few shots to the face then bites down on Bills nose!!! King: HEY! Hes biting!!! Tell these people to shut up, JR! Theyre going nuts! Styles: The Hardcore Kid is now biting the nose of William Shatner!!! Ross: AND WOULD YA BELIEVE THAT HE IS NOW BUSTED WIDE OPEN! More blood begins to flow off of Bills face as he remains dazed ontop of the ladder. Meanwhile, a few officials are now seen down below trying to talk the Kid out of doing what hes about to do! He sets Bill up in a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! However at the last minute, Bill looks up and grabs a hold of a fan (that happens to be turned off) KID THROWS HIMSELF OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLE BELOW!!!Ross: OH MY GOD! Styles: MYYYYY GAWD HE FELL 10 MORE FEET! King: HaHa! Look at Bill! Hes smart! A loud HOLY @#%$ chant begins to echo throughout the Skydome once again as Bill releases his grib from the fan then begins to climb down from the ladder Shatner: Oh(breathing heavily)..Im way to old for thisokayokay refcount to 3its overend thisplease God end this Bill gets down from the ladder then lays overtop of the Kid, as the ref gets down and begins a 3 count 1..2..Kick out by HCK!! The crowd once again pops HUGE as a stunned and bloodied Bill Shatner slowly gets up and almost begins to cry Ross: NO NO! A 2 COUNT! IT WAS ONLY 2, King! King: OH WHEN WILL IT END, JR? Styles: IT wont end until one man dies! This is EXTREME! THIS IS Ecdub---I mean, EWA! With the Kid showing signs of life, Shatner backpeddles into the ladder then tips it down overtop of HCK. He then walks into the cameraman who drops the camera Ross: Uh, sorry for that visual problem fans Suddenly, the camera lifts back up and The Kid is seen slowly getting up from the pieces of wood and metal. The ref is then seen staring straight into the camera Referee: Cmon BillBill! PUT THE CAMERA DOWN.DAMN Bill put the camera down!!!! With Shatner holding the TV camera, The Kid is seen getting up and smiling into the lens, he then drops to his knees and waits a few secondsfollowed by the camera falling down to the Kids levelShatner can be heard moaning in pain Ross: Well Im guessing the Kid just delivered a low blow, guys With the camera man once again retaining his camera, The Kid gets back up and grabs a hold of Shatners shirtripping it completely off his body!!! In the backround, the sound of laughter and cheers can be heard from the audience watching on the EvoTron King: AHHHH! Hes just about naked! Hes only in boxers! How embarrassing! With a bloodied (and now half naked) Shatner wobbling towards a nearby concession stand, HCK picks up the ladder then followswaiting until Bill slowly turns back around.. THE END OF THE LADDER NAILING BILL IN THE FACE!!! A loud OOOOHHHH can be heard from the crowd as the impact sends Bill backpeddling over the concession stand booth into the lap of an employee. Popcorn bags and pop spill everywhere as a large rack of EWA shirts spill overtop! Styles: OH MY GAWWD!! King: This is getting crazy JR! When will this match endthis wasnt suppose to happen! Heck, Shatner came out here in a wheelchair, he shouldnt even be wrestling! With a sudden look of anger on his face, the Kid throws the ladder aside then grabs a lump underneath the shirts, it appears to be Bills head! HCK pulls Bill up from the mess then sets him up VERTICAL SUPLEX OVER THE STAND ONTO THE FLOOR!!! King: AHHH! Thats hard floor! Ross: Greatly exectued standing suplex there by the Toronto born and raised Hardcore Kid! Styles: Im sure hes got a few busted ribs after that one! And MY GAWD LOOK AT THE KID! King: Im telling you guys this guy isnt normalhes sick! Look at him! With Bill laid out on the floor, The Hardcore Kid grabs the ladder then sets it up ontop of the concession stand!! And with the crowd still on their feet, they watch and cheer on their Hardcore Freak as The Kid begins to make the long journey to that top rung! E-DUBB-A.E-DUBB-AE-DUBB-A Ross: Thousands upon thousands of fans here in Toronto on their feet!!! This may be it, Folks!! King: NONot the TOP PLUNGE!!! After reaching the top of the ladder,..and standing a good 15-20 feet in the airthe Kid pulls aside the hair that begun to cover his face then stares down at a bloodied Bill Shatner. Three officials are seen standing over himwaving their hands and pleaing for the Kid to get down! Ross: Oh if he hits this its overthis is not good. NO man can physically withstand this punishment!!!! And especially not some 50 plus year old actor named William! Styles: Well somebody tell that guy thatOHHH MY GAWWWD!!! FLYING SUMMERSAULT PLANCHA OFF THE LADDER ONTO BILL SHATNER!!!!!!! Ross: OHMAGODOHMAGODHE KILLED HIMHE KILLED HIM DAMMIT!! King: (quiet tone) oh no Styles: HOLY @#%$!!! @#%$IN RIGHT!!! JESUS CHRIST DID YOU SEE THAT The camera shot captures it all as The Hardcore Kid leaped off the ladder and nailed the TOP PLUNGE from almost 20 feet! The three officials leap out of the way as the impact sends chills over everyones spine! The HOLY @#%$ chants are defeaning as the two individuals remain deadlaying unconscious on the cold tile Ross:.NEVER.IN MY LIFE. King: Thats itstop this matchI mean it guysthis is over Styles: DID YOU SEE THAT???HOLY @#%$!! Ross: Okay Joe we get the point but please..end this matchwell, there we see the official making a pin! King: WellThe Kid is laying overtop.. The ref slowly gets down then makes a pin 123!!!! Your winner, and NEW Hardcore Champion.The Hardcore Kid!Ross: And its over folks King: Finally! Its over! This match is over! Styles: And The Kid is your NEW 2-time Hardcore Championand once again I must addHOLY @#%$! After making the pin the official immidiately gets up and motions for the EMTs as they flood the scene in a hurry. Both HCK and Shatner are not moving..as HCK is still seen lumped over top of Billcovered in a pool of blood around Bills headThe camera cuts to the three announcers at ringside as ambulance sirens are heard in the back. Ross: WellWe apologize for that last scene right there fans at home watching King: (absoloutely stunned)I cant believe that! That was a 20 foot drop, JR..and it wasnt through nothing. It was on hard tile! I mean, how does anybody get up after that? Styles: I wish every damn match was like that! Thats ECW right there boys! Every match is like that one Ross: Well Joe..shut up King: What I want to know ishow do we continue nowafter watching that? Ross: Perhaps we continue with the start of the next match up? That might work
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:01:51 GMT -6
The lights go out...Snakecharmer hits the PA! After the drumroll, pyros shoot throughout the arena, and t he lights go back on, bringing out Black Heart, ladder in hand. The crowd jeers him, but he also gets a very small pop. Black Heart surveys the crowd, and then walks slowly down the ramp.
Ross: See what did I tell ya, KingWere in for a slobberknocker here, as two EWA newcomers with a history square off!
Lawler: These men may be EWA newcomers, but theyve certainly accumulated some experience, and some anger.
Ross: Well, Black Hearts making his way to ringside, and I assume well soon be graced by the presence of one Jayson Annihilation.
The arena blacks out as Stem starts to play over the PA, and the Evotron flashes 00:00. The clock starts to climb rapidly, until it reaches 14:57. As it does, the numbers stop climbing, and they flash red. Pyros shoot out of 3 turnbuckles. The lights go back on, as Jayson Annihilation is sitting on top of the remaining turnbuckle. He grins down at Black Heart, as Black Heart stares right back at him!
Lawler: Whoa! Howd he do that?
Ross: Entrances aside, this match is about to get underway!
Lawler: No! I want to know how he did that!
Styles: For Gawds sake, be quiet! Ill explain it to you later! At least he didnt come out with a bulldozer!!!
The bell rings, as Jayson hops down form the top turnbuckle. Black Heart quickly charges at him with the ladder horizontally. Jayson ducks, and Black Heart bounces off of the ropes. Black Heart runs at Jayson again, but Jayson hits a high flipping dropkick, knocking the ladder into Black Hearts chest!
Styles: Good counter by Jayson.
Black Heart gets up to his feet, but leaves the ladder on the ground. Jayson runs at Black Heart. Black Heart goes for the clothesline, but Jayson rolls under. Jayson jumps up with a high jumping calf kick, but Black Heart grabs him in midair, and slams him down with a big sitdown powerbomb!
Ross: What a maneuver by Black Heart!
Lawler: Dont worry, he hasnt got Jayson down yet, no way, no how!
Styles: So you are picking Jayson to win?
Lawler: I didnt say a thing about that, Styles. Clean your ears out!
Black Heart picks up Jayson by the hair, and brings him to his feet. Black Heart grabs Jayson, and lifts him up in a military press. He holds him there for a few seconds.
Ross: Black Heart looking to do some major damage early.
Black Heart pushes Jaysons legs over, but cannot grab his head. Jayson grabs Black Heart and slams him down with a Diamond Cutter!!!
Lawler: Like I said before, Jayson all the way!
Ross and Styles: Oh Brother.
Jayson gets up, and waves to the crowd, and then poses.
Lawler: The Sultan of Style and Guile really giving the crowd a treat tonight.
But Black Heart is up behind him. Jayson doesnt see him and is still playing the crowd.
Lawler: No! Turn around you fool!
Black Heart bends Jayson back, and slams him down with a torture rack suplex!!!
Ross: Satanic Slam!!! Satanic Slam!!!
Styles: Jayson shouldve been watching the match.
Black Heart gets up, and flashes the Tombstone sign! He brings Jayson to his feet, and grabs him in a double underhook.
Ross: This cannot be good for Jayson Annihilation!
Black Heart tries to lift Jayson, but he cannot. He tries again, and again cannot. Jayson breaks the double underhook! He grabs Black Heart around the waist, and tosses him back with a release Northern Lights Suplex!!! Black Hearts back lands right on the ladder!
Styles: That was close.
Lawler: Not many men escape the End of Days. That was a big move from Jayman!
Both men are down. They both slowly crawl to oppostie sides of the ring. They both bounce off of the ropes, Jayson hopping the ladder. Jayson bounces back, and leapfrogs Black Heart. Jayson turns around with a right hook, but misses! He spins around...Black Heart grabs him in a standing underhook. Jayson tries to power out, but cannot! Black Heart gives Jayson a knee to the midsection, and doubles him over, and then slams him with a Rocker Dropper right onto the ladder!!!
Styles: Quick pace now form the two big men!
Ross: Jaysons head crashing into that steel ladder should slow things down...
Black Heart gets up, and heads right for the turnbuckles. He climbs to the top, and points down at Jayson.
Ross: The big man is looking to fly!
Black Heart jumps off with a frog splash, but Jayson moves out of the way! Black Heart crashes into the ladder, sternum meeting steel! Jayson rolls to the middle of the ring.
Styles: Quick thinking there by Jayson Annihilation!
Jayson gets up, and brings Black Heart to his feet. Jayson points to the crowd, which draws some heat. He then looks up at Black Heart, and steps back. He then jumps way up with a frontflip, and lands on Black Hearts shoulders!
Lawler: Its Trendkill time!
Jayson leans back, but Black Heart does too, and Jayson cannot flip him over. Black Heart lifts Jayson back up for the powerbomb.
Ross: Jayson Annihilations about to enter a world of hurt!
Black Heart sets him up for the powerbomb, but Jayson pushes off of his shoulders, and flips over into a sunset flip! They both roll through the pin, but Jayson springs right back up with ahuge spear, knocking Black Heart down to the mat!
Styles: Jayson fighting back, and hes looking to kick things up a notch.
Jayson gets up, and he starts to set up the ladder in the middle of the ring. He finishes, and walks over to Black Heart, who is already starting to get up. Jayson punches Black Heart in the face, and brings him to his feet. Jayson goes for another punch, but Black Heart blocks, and jumps back down with a jawbreaker!
Ross: Jayson couldnt get him to the ladder, now thingsll get interesting.
Lawler: And Bloody!
Jayson stumbles around the ring, grabbing his jaw. Black Heart picks up Jayson in a firemans carry, but Jayson flips out of it, and lands on his feet! Black Heart whips Jayson back for a short-arm clothesline, but Jayson ducks. Jayson grabs Black Heart in a waistlock, and tries to lift him over for a German Suplex, but cant get him over! Black Heart breaks the waistlock, elbows Jayson in the midsection, grabs his arm, and flips him over with a Judo Arm Drag.
Ross: Interesting move from the big man. Very un-Black Heart-like indeed.
Black Heart lays kicks to Jaysons midsection. Jayson slowly crawls to the corner, but Black Hearts kicks slow him down. Jayson eventually makes it, and tries to prop himself up, but Black Heart grabs the ropes, and starts to lay more kicks to Jaysons stomach.
Styles: Black Heart trying to stomp a mudhole in Jayson, yeah!
Lawler: Thatd be interesting to see.
Black Heart finally stops, and scoops Jayson up. He places Jayson on the top turnbuckle, and then bring sthe ladder over near the corner, and starts to climb it!
Ross: Whats he gonna do now?!
Black Heart reaches the top...he turns to the crowd, and points at Jayson, but Jayson hits him with a low blow from behind!
Lawler: Thatll take the wind out of your sails, haha!
Jayson dons a wide grin, as he gets up from the turnbuckle, and sizes up Black Heart. Jayson takes one step onto the ladder, and leaps over Black Heart and the ladder. Jayson does a somersault in midair, and slams him down with a SOMERSAULT DIAMOND CUTTER!!!!!! Both men slam to the mat!
Ross: OHMAGOD! OHMAGOD! Black Heart is busted wide open!
Styles: Oh my GAWD!
Ross: I just said that, you nincompoop!
Styles: No, you said OHMAGOD!
Lawler: Whatever, look at the chaos in the ring!
Black Heart lies with his face bloodied in the ring, as Jayson lays face up in the middle of the ring.
Ross: Black Heart now pouring out blood! Hes a damn mess!
Black Heart continues to bleed, as Jayson finally gets up to his knees. Jayson smiles for the crowd, and points to himself!
Lawler: The Natural Playboy always has time for his fans, haha!
Jayson rolls out of the ring, and disappears under the ring apron
Styles: Guess we know what this means.
Jayson throws out a table.
Lawler: Its table time!
Jayson stumbles out from under the ring, and slides the table into the ring. Jayson follows it. He sets it up near the corner, at a 45 degree angle with the ropes. He turns around, and sees Black Heart is already kneeling at the other side of the ring. He takes a huge run at Black Heart, and hits him with an extremely stiff Dropkick right to the face!!! A thunderous sound is heard throughout the arena!
Styles: Thatll leave a mark!
Black Heart wobbles around, and then falls back onto the mat. Jayson scoops Black Heart up, and walks him over to the table. He gives Black Heart a loud knife edge chop!
Crowd: WHOOOO!
Jayson rolls Black Heart onto the table, and hops over to the turnbuckles.
Ross: Black Hearts down in a bad way!
Lawler: Geronimo!
Jayson prepares to jump, but Black Heart slides off of the table. Jayson starts to jump, but Black Heart flings him over the table to the center of the ring!
Lawler: Aw man! That was gonna be cool!
Styles: Black Heart keeps the score 0-0.
Jayson is up to his feet, but Black Heart is still between the table and turnbuckle. Jayson picks up the ladder from the center of the ring, as Black Heart moves the table out of his way, so that it is parallel to the ropes. Jayson runs at Black Heart, and flattens him with the ladder!!!
Lawler: Ha! Hes using his own weapon against him!
Jayson sets up the ladder leaning against the turnbuckles at a very sharp angle. Black Heart tries to get to his feet, but cannot. Jayson runs to the ropes, bounces off, and hits a sniper leg drop onto the struggling Black Heart!
Ross: Jayson Annihilation dominating now!
Jayson lifts Black Heart to his feet. Black Heart knocks im down quickly with a shortarm clothesline! Jayson bounces right back up. Jayson grabs Black Heart, and applies a quick arm wrench. He holds it, and whips him into the corner opposite the ladder, and then runs right after him. Black Heart jumps to the second turnbuckle, and then takes a big jump back, over Jaysons head. Jayson runs straight into the turnbuckles, and stumbles back in a daze!
Styles: Quick move by Black Heart, and now Jayson is seeing stars!
Black Heart backs Jayson up until theyre close to the ladder. Black Heart grabs Jaysons arm, and pulls it between his legs. Black Heart turns Jayson to his side, and lifts him over.... T-BONE SUPLEX ONTO THE LADDER!!! The ladder dents from the impact!.
Styles: Oh my GAWD!
Lawler: That broke his back!
Jayson stays, with his back arched on the ladder, while Black Heart is laying down in the center of the ring. Black Heart gets to his feet first. He walks Jayson over to the ropes, near the table. He hangs Jayson over the table, and climbs to the apron.
Ross: Black Heart may be looking fo rthe Death From Above here.
Lawler: If he hits it, thatll leave Jayson in trouble, hell need two consecutive tables to win!
Black Heart is out on the apron. He grabs the ropes, but he gets a headbutt from Jayson Annihilation!
Ross: Jayson showing some life here.
Jayson hops over the ropes, and slides back to back over Black Heart, and lands on the floor. Jayson sweeps Black Hearts legs out, letting his face slam onto the ring apron!
Ross: Smart reversal there by Jayson.
Black Heart falls to the floor, and stays there. Jayson scoops him up to his feet, though, and whips him right into the barricade!
Styles: Both men on the outside now.
Lawler: Theyd better steer clear of here. Maybe they can bother the Spanish announcers.
Spanish Announcer: Hijo de puta.
Lawler: Listen to their jibberish!
Styles: At least they speak more inelligibly than most Canadians!
Lawler: Eh, point taken.
Black Heart arches his back in pain, as Jayson hot steps for the crowd, to huge heel heat. Black Heart regains himself, and runs at Jayson, but Jayson leans back, and tosses him over the top with a Monkey Flip into the Barricade! Black Heart lands right on the small of his back.
Ross: Black Heart really being taken to school now.
Jayson slides into the ring, and grins down at Black Heart. Between them is the corner with the ladder. Jayson looks at the crowd, and starts to nod.
Styles: What does Jayson Annihilation have planned here?
Jayson looks back at Black Heart, and then runs up the ladder that was in the corner, and at the second to last rung, he jumps. He soars over the ring post, and hits Black Heart with a HUGE SOMERSAULT LEG DROP!!!!
Ross: OHMAGOD!
Crowd: EWA! EWA! EWA!
Jayson gets up slowly, grabbing his lower back, as Black Heart lies motionless on the floor.
Lawler: That was insane!
Jayson slumps over on the ring apron for a second. He then slides into the ring. He grabs the ladder, and sets it up in the middle of the ring, parallel to the ropes and the table.
Styles: This Jayson Annihilation is deviant! Hes looking to kill Black Heart!
Jayson slides back out or the ring, and grabs Black Heart by the hair. He walks Black Heart over to the apron, and rolls him into the ring. He picks Black Heart back up, and places him on the table.
Ross: I think youre right, Joey.
Jayson starts to climb the ladder, but Black Heart is up! Black Heart is on his feet! Black Heart starts to climb the near side of the ladder (closest to the table), as Jayson climbs the far. Jayson makes it to the top first, directly followed by Black Heart.
Lawler: Now this cant end well.
Jayson gives Black Heart exchange punches, and again, and again, but Black Heart reels back. Jayson giver Black Heart another punch, and Black Heart is dazed, and is slumped over the ladder. Jayson turns Black Heart around and then pionts down at the table! Jayson leaps over the ladder, and grabs Black Heart in a 3/4 turn facelock, but Black Heart catches him!!!
Styles: What strength from Black Heart.
Black Heart breaks the 3/4 facelock, and @#%$s Jaysons position. Black Heart jumps.... TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER OFF OF THE LADDER THROUGH A TABLE!!!!!!!!
Tables: Black Heart-1 Jayson Annihilation-0
Ross: OHAMGOD!!! OHMAGOD!!!!
Lawler: That.....was.....incredible!
Crowd: HOLY @#%$! HOLY @#%$!
Jayson Annihilation lies motionless on the broken table. Black Heart lies half on the apron, half in the ring, clutching his knees and screaming.
Styles: These two are seriously hurt.
Ross: Youre right, Joey, they need some medical attention as soon as possible!
Black Heart and Jayson both are still not moving, as EMTs start to make their way to ringside, but the ref is talking to them at the ramp. He is pointing to the back, and the EMTs are leaving!
Ross: Why in the hell is he sending them back?
Lawler: Maybe you forgot, but there is still a match going on.
Back in the ring, Black Heart is pulling himself to the corner. He uses the ropes for leverage, and makes it. He props himself up, and is now on his feet. He tries to take a step, but he collapses, clutching his knees!
Ross: The man cant even walk.
Black Heart tries to pull himself up again. He gets to the corner, and props himself up, and again he falls down to the mat.
Styles: This is horrible
Black Heart and Jayson are both down in the ring. Black Heart tries to pull himself to the corner again, but Jayson moves!
Styles: I couldve sworn that man was dead!
Jayson slowly crawls to his feet, while clutching his neck. He is on all fours, slowly to his feet, he makes it up! He gets a nice pop for this!
Ross: What resilience by Jayson Annihilation!
Jayson gets up, and looks over at Black Heart, who is propped up in the corner. Jayson steps back, and gives him a standing side kick right to the chin! Black Heart falls down to the mat face first, and lies motionless.
Lawler: Now kick him while hes down!
Styles: This guys sick.
Jayson looks up at the crowd, but then clutches his neck. Black Heart is now moving. He looks up at Jayson, and then rolls out of the ring, plopping down onto the floor.
Ross: Black Heart is incapacitated.
Jayson slides out of the ring, still clutching his neck. He scoops Black Heart up to his feet at ringside, and gives him a knife edge chop. The crowd is still so shocked, that they dont even respond. Black Heart collapses from the impact of the chop. Jayson picks Black Heart up by his hair, and gives him another chop. Again the crowd just watches Black Heart collapse in!
Ross: This is inhumane, the man cant even stand up.
Lawler: And he needs to go through 2 tables to end this thing.
Ross: Dont even remind me.
Jayson brigns Black Heart to his feet, and scoops him up. He holds him up for a few second, but cannot handle the dead weight. Black Heart falls back on top of him, with an Inverted DDT!
Lawler: Sheer Brilliance!
Styles: Sheer luck.
Black Heart and Jayson are both down. Black Heart grabs the ring apron, and start to pull himself up, while Jayson lays on the floor, clutching his neck and screaming. Black Heart is now to his feet, leaning on the apron. Jayson starts to crawl to his feet as Black Heart slides in.
Ross: These men are moving slow as molasses, but not as fast as my smooth BBQ Sauce!
Styles: Shut the hell up, Ross!
Black Heart props himself up in the corner, as Jayson slides into the ring. Black Heart stumbles out of the corner, as Jayson runs at him. He jumps, and spins him around with a Tornado DDT! Black Heart falls flat to the middle of the ring. Jayson gets up, and points to the ladder.
Ross:How is Black Heart supposed to fight back?
Jayson walks over to the ladder, and picks it up. He folds it up and carries it over to Black Heart. He sizes him up, and blasts him in the small of the back with the ladder!! The crowd cringes.
Ross: This is horrible, hellacious even!
Styles: We get the picture.
Jayson tosses the ladder over Black Heart, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. He bounces back, but Black Heart is up! Hes waiting, and he catches Jayson with an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex! Jaysons back lands right on the steel ladder!
Lawler: Whered that come from?
Black Heart is slow to his feet, but he gets up, without help form the ropes.
Ross: Looks like Black Heart is starting to get some strength back in his knees.
Black Heart slowly walks over to Jayson. He lifts him up to his feet, and whips him into the opposite ropes. Jayson bounces back. Black Heart scoops him up in a tilt-a-whirl, and slams him down with a backbreaker! Jayson falls over, and arches his back in pain.
Styles: Nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Black Heart.
Black Heart shoves Jayson aside on the mat, and slides out of the ring. He pushes the timekeeper out of the way, and slides back in with a chair
Ross: Looks like things have picked up again.
Black Heart gets up, and swings fiercely at Jayson, but he ducks. Black Heart turns around, but Jayson hits a high jumping calf kick, knocking the chair into Black Hearts face!
Styles: VAN DAMINATOR!
Ross: What the hell are you talking about?
Styles: What?
Lawler: Crazy man.
[Jayson is up quickly, but he is clutching his neck. He brings Black Heart to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. Black Heart bounces off, and Jayson leap frogs him. Black Heart goes to the opposite ropes, but grabs them before he can bounce off. Jayson runs at him, but Black Heart back drops him. Jayson lands on the apron! Jayson tries to kick Black Heart over the ropes, but Black Heart ducks. Black Heart headbutts Jayson in the stomach, and climbs to the outside.
Ross: Oh dear God! Not again!
Black Heart places Jaysons head between his legs. He scoops Jayson up, and jumps off of the apron with a Sitdown Powerbomb through the announce table!
Styles: Oh no! Our table! Are you guys there? Silence I guess not. Well, for now, I am your one announcer, Joey Styles, and my GAWD! What a powerbomb that was from Black Heart!
The camera zooms in on the wreckage. Black Heart is lying on his back, only stirring. Jayson Annihilation is folded in half, and not moving one bit! He is now bleeding heavily from the upper back and the side of his face!
Styles: That was devastating! Those two are barely living!
Jayson ends up rolling backwards, as Black Heart just lies there. After about a mintue of just stirring, Black Heart plants his hand on the ground, and starts to crawl to his feet.
Styles: Well, Black Hearts not paralyzed.
Black Heart is on all fours, but instead of getting up, he crawls over the ring apron. He lifts it up, and pulls out a table!
Styles: A table? How can he even think about that now?
Black Heart slides the table into the ring, and follows it. He sets it up in the middle, parallel to the borken announce table. He makes sure its nice and sturdy, and then begins to wait for Jayson.
Styles: Well, I dont think Jayson is gonna move any time soon.
Black Heart tires of the wait, and goes out to ringside. He picks up Jayson, and slides him back into the ring.
Styles: If Jayson goes through that table, its all over.
Jayson crawls to his feet in the ring, but Black Hear picks him up quickly, and whips him towards the ropes. Jayson slides under the ropes, and stands on the apron. Black Heart runs at Jayson with a right hand, but Jayson leans back, and Black Heart misses. Jayson jumps on the top rope, springboards over Black Heart, and slams him down with a high Springboard Neckbreaker!!!
Styles: Jayson fights back with a nice neckbreaker there.
Jayson gets up slowly, clutching his neck. He points down at Black Heart, and then walks over to the corner, and ascends the turnbuckles.
Styles: Jayson going high risk here, but will it pay off?
As Jayson climbs the turnbuckles, Black Heart slowly climbs to his feet. Black Heart is on his feet as Jayson reaches the top. Jayson turns is back to the ring, and leaps off with a Moonsault! Jayson catches huge air as he flies down to Black Heart, but Black Heart catches him in mid-air!
Styles: Guess it didnt. OH NO! HE WOULDNT!
Black Heart holds onto Jayson, and sets him up.... Tombstone Piledriver! Jayson lies motionless in the ring. Black Heart is still down, clutching his knees.
Lawler: Hello....hello....am I back?
Ross: Yes, youre back, I am too.
Styles: Way to be there in the clutch, guys.
Ross: Can you just be quiet.
Back in the ring, Black Heart is up, struggling, but dragging Jayson over into the corner with the table in it.
Lawler: This ones over.
Ross: Now how can you be so sure.
Lawler: Its obvious enough, JR. Even you could figure this one out.
Black Heart slides Jayson into the corner, and then follows in suit. He sets Jayson up facing the ringpost, and grabs him in Outsiders Edge position!
Styles: Thank you and goodnight.
Black Heart goes to lift Jayson, but Jayson powers out of the hold. Jayson backflips off of the turnbuckles, and grabs Black Heart in a front facelock coming down! He slams his head through the table with a facebuster!!! MINDCLASH DDT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!
Tables: Black Heart-1 Jayson Annihilation-1
Ross: OHMAGOD! OHMAGOD! OHMAGOD! Black Heart is busted wide open!
Black Heart and Jayson lie still in the ring, Black Heart now gushing blood.
Styles: Well, we have a tie ball game now folks, next table wins it!
In the ring Black Heart is stirring, while Jayson is crawling around, trying to get to his feet.
Ross: Again, these two feeling the affects of some big falls.
Jayson makes it to his feet. He walks over to Black Heart, and brings him to his feet. He walks him over to the steel chair still lying in the ring, and scoop-slams him onto it!
Lawler: Look at Jayson go to work on his back.
Jayson grabs Black Hearts hair and brings him to his feet. He hooks Black Heart up for a vertical suplex, but Black Heart blocks with his leg. Jayson tries to lift again, but Black Heart blocks again. Black Heart lifts Jayson over, and slams him down with a vertical suplex of his own! Jayson is slow to his feet, but Black Heart is right back up. Black Heart waits for Jayson to get up, and hooks him up for the Sky High!
Ross: Jayson set to go for the ride!
Black Heart holds him high up, but Jayson pushes Black Hearts arms away, and leapfrogs him. Black Heart turns around, swinging a clothesline at Jayson, but Jayson ducks. Black Heart runs to the opposite ropes, and bounces right back into a quick powerslam by Jayson!!
Styles: Nice rotation!
Jayson runs into the ropes, and baseball slides right into Black Hearts head. A sickening thud echoes throughout the arena.
Lawler: That was loud, haha!
Jayson gets up quickly, and picks up the ladder off of the ground. He sets it up parallel to Black Heart and starts to climb.
Ross: Jayson still thinking high risk, despite already taking a beating tonight.
Jayson makes it to the top. He places his feet on both top rungs with his back to Black Heart and leaps off with a moonsault! Black Heart moves, but Jayson flips all the way over and lands on his feet!!!
Styles: Quick thinking by both men.
Both men are facing each other, but Jayson is still trying to get his balance. Black Heart gives him a knee to the midsection and slams him down with a Gutwrench Powerbomb!
Lawler: Oooh! It looks like Black Hearts going to win now, its a sure thing!
Styles: But you said Jayson was a lock to win earlier!
Lawler: I was wrong, Im allowed to change my mind.
Black Heart flashes the Tombstone sign, and then slides out of the ring. He ducks under the apron and comes back out with a table!
Ross: That may be the deciding table, folks!
Black Heart slides the table into the ring, and then rolls into the ring. He sets in up parallel to the ladder.
Lawler: Uh oh! It look like he has something planned.
Black Heart finishes setting up the table, but Jayson Annihilation is up! He dropkicks the side of the table, sending it right into Black Hearts stomach!
Styles: He may have to put that plan on hold.
Jayson walks over to Black Heart, and tries to whip him into the ropes, but Black Heart reverses. Jayson towards the ropes. He handsprings off the chair, grabbing it in the process. He bounces off, jumps, does a 180, and clocks Black Heart over the head with the chair!!
Ross: Why that must be the most creative use of a chair Ive ever seen!
Jayson brings Black Heart to his feet, and walks him over to the table. He looks down at his watch, and then sets Black Heart up for a powerbomb.
Lawler: Guess what time it is?
Styles: Rollerjam?
Lawler: Close, 14:57!!!
Jayson tries to lift Black Heart, but Black Heart counters with a back body drop, Jayson comes within an inch of the table!
Ross: Close one there, Black Heart almost took the match!
Black Heart turns around, and drags Jayson over to the ladder. He picks Jayson up in a firemans carry, and ascends the ladder.
Ross: You may want to put your small children to bed, parents.
Lawler: Maybe your large ones, too.
Black Heart reaches the top, and places Jayson down on the ladder. Black Hearts back is to the table, while Jayson faces it. He grabs Jayson in a front face-lock, and tries to pull him over, but Jayson grabs the ladder! The ladder starts to tip, but stays standing. Black Heart tries again, and Jayson grabs the ladder again, this time it leans to one leg, and then falls back onto the other three!
Styles: That ladder is dangerously close to tipping over, and spilling both men to the floor.
Black Heart tries to lift, but Jayson jumps forward! He keeps the hold, and falls backwards!!! He sends Black Heart through the table with Forward Falling DDT off of the ladder through the table!!! Super Impaler through the table!!!
Tables: Jayson Annihilation-2 Black Heart-1
Winner, Jayson Annihilation
OHMAGOD! OHMAGOD! What carnage!
The crowd is silent. Black Heart lies in the ring motionless, with a small red puddle in the ring next to him. Jayson tries to get to his feet. He does momentarily. The ref raises his hand in victory, as he falls back down to the mat, clutching his upper back and neck. EMTs jog down the ramp.
Styles: Jayson may have won the match, but these two are seriously injured.
Lawler: I knew theyd do something stupid like that.
Ross: Well, for tonight these two men have earned my respect, and apparently the crowds. Nobody here has moved yet.
The EMTs pick up both men on stretchers and carry them up the ramp. Black Heart doesnt move at all, while Jayson leans up a little, and is seen talking. A few men are out in the ring clearing it out. After a minute, they finish. The EMTs have cleared the ramp. Clean up crew brings out a new announce table to ringside.
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:02:28 GMT -6
Ross: Well, barring blood stains, nothing from that last match is out here, so were ready to continue the show. You talk about intense rivalries, it might not get anymore intense than Kayfabe and EWA President Evolution. In recent weeks its become clear that Evo faked an injury in the LWN and left Kayfabe high and dry as he got the EWA off the ground. Evo claims he carried Kayfabe when the two joined forces as Hoyakillahs Enforcers
Lawler: He did!
Ross: I wouldnt be so sure about that, KingKayfabe definitely did his part for the effort.
Styles: In any case, Kay has wanted Evo in the ring since he arrived in EWA and Evos been dodging him at every turn. He appointed Falstaff to be his representative here tonight and looked to be in the clear yet again until Clockwatcher changed everything!
Footage rolls from Massive Monday Night, where Commissioner Clockwatcher walks out with a personal cell and sets the stipulations for this match
Ross: Thats right, folks! The President of the EWA will be locked in a personal cell at ringside and if Kayfabe and Jose Ramirez win this thing, Kayfabe gets five minutes with Evo!
Lawler: Its an absolute sham, thats what it is!
The crowd starts to pop as two EWA officials wheel Evos personal cell to the ringside areaafter a few moments, Evolution appears at the top of the ramp, generating a mixture of heel and face heatHe stops at the top of the ramp and throws his hands up, flipping the bird to the EWA officials, then starts to walk outBreak It Down Again suddenly booms throughout the arena, stopping Evo in his tracks!
Styles: Oh my Gawd, we know who that is!
Ross: Look at Evos face, hes already petrified!
Kayfabe appears at the top of the ramp, with Jose Ramirez at his side! Kay has taser in his right hand and as he patiently beats it in and out of his left palmKay and Jose slowly advance on Evo, fire in their eyes, forcing him to back down the aisle and attempt to plead for mercy! At this point, Kay suddenly races at his former partner, sending Evo scurrying back! The two EWA officials grab hold of Evo and force him into the personal cell as he struggles mightily! The officials manage to secure the cell before Kayfabe can prevent it, but he continues to reach through the cell, attempting to taser Evobut the EWA President keeps dodging it!
Lawler: See?! Hes a menace to society!
Ross: He just wants retribution, cut him a break!
Two more officials come out and try to pull Kay away from the cage, but he shoves them away! Finally, Ramirez succeeds in calling Kay off, forcing him into the ring. Evo shouts obscenities at Kay, who once again lunges at the cell, only to be held back by a spear from Ramirez! Kay gets back to his feet and steps to Ramirez, but Jose is able to calm Kay down!
Styles: He seems to be the only one who can do that at this point.
Lawler: Evo is already psyching him out,, its great! Hes already off his game.
Baba OReilly hits and Falstaff appears to the most passionate heated booing of the evening! The Shakesperian Wonder and first EWA Hardcore Champion slowly walks to the ring as Ramirez and Kayfabe egg him onFalstaff stops halfway down the aisle and stops, then turns around and points to the entrance as pyro explodes at the top of the rampEvolutions masked Enforcer emerges from the stream of fireworks and walks towards the ring.
Ross: Who that is, we do not know, but I hope we find out soon!
Once in the ring, Falstaff and the Enforcer immediately staredown with their two foes, and the tension is so thick it could be cut with a knifeFalstaff pairs off with Ramirez as the Enforcer stares into Kayfabes cold eyesFalstaff starts to trash-talk Ramirez, but Ramirez responds by spitting in Falstaffs face! Falstaff steps back, then nails Ramirez with a hard right hand, sending him crashing to the mat! This ignites Kayfabe and the Enforcer, who exchange a barrage of punches in the center of the ring, neither man giving an inch!
Styles: Nothing technical about this at all!
Kayfabe finally gets the better of the Enforcer and backs him into the near corner as Falstaff runs Ramirez high over the top rope, then retreats to the top and measure RamirezSwan Song!
Ross: Ramirez is in trouble already!
Styles: Evos a happy man!
Evo cheers loudly for Falstaff as he scoops Ramirez up and drops him military-press style on the Spanish announce table. Meanwhile back in the ring, Kayfabe continues to hammer away at the Enforcer, who now slouches down in the corner. Kay drops several punishing knees to his upper chest area, then violently chokes him out with his boot over the bottom rope, like a man possessed! As the Enforcer gasps for air, Kay drags him to the center of the ring, then retreats to the second rope, leaping with an elbow to the sternum, into a quick cover, 12..the Enforcer kicks out as Evo breathes a sigh of relief!
Ross: Kay wants to end this as soon as possible so he can have the five minutes with the President!
Lawler: Hell never get it, no way!
Falstaff leaps back on the apron and rushes the ring, nailing Kay with a vicious clothesline as he gets back to his feet. Falstaff with an Irish whip to the far side and a high knee on the comeback, sending Kay down hard. The Enforcer gets back to his vertical base and staggers to the corner, unfastening the top turnbuckle padFalstaff gathers Kayfabes legs and sending him catapulting head-first into the exposed steel with the Falstaff Flipper! As Kayfabe falls back, the Enforcer kicks him in the lower abdominal area and pulls him in, positioning him for a powerbomb! Before he can do it, Falstaff calls the Enforcer off!
Lawler: Now what the hell did Falstaff do that for?
With Evo barking orders, Falstaff motions for the Enforcer to go to the top, then points at the personal cell!
Ross: Oh heavens no! They wouldnt!
Styles: They sure as hell would!
Falstaff lifts Kayfabe and hands him off to the Enforcer, ready to fly with a sit-down powerbomb onto the top of the cell! Before he can do it, Jose Ramirez comes from out of nowhere with a chairshot to the Enforcers back! Kayfabe manages to wiggle free and slide back down into the ringFalstaff lunges at him and throws a clothesline but Kay ducks and catches him with the Down To Earth front-leg sweep! Kay hops back on the middle ropes, then the top, grabbing hold of the Enforcers neck and arms and pushing offKDT ONTO THE TOP OF THE PERSONAL CELL!
Ross: Oh my God, what a maneuver by Kayfabe!
Lawler: Evolutions Enforcer is out cold on top of him!
Evo reaches up and tries to revive his Enforcer, but hes out! Ramirez climbs to the top and launches at the Enforcer, nailing him with a flying elbow! The crowd pops loudly as Ramirez kicks the Enforcer off the cell to the concrete belowKayfabe scrapes him up and flings him hard into the cold, unforgiving steel bars! Evo leaps back as Kay grabs the Enforcer by the strap of his mask, ready to reveal him!
Styles: The moment weve all been waiting for!
But before he can do it, Falstaff rolls out and clips Kayfabe from behind, sending him down to one knee and forcing him to let the Enforcer go. Falstaff follows up with a textbook Fame-As-Er, planting Kays head into the concrete!
Lawler: This is great! Total domination by Falstaff!
Ramirez leaps onto the steel bars of the cage and executes a moonsault, knocking Falstaff into the barricade! Falstaff gets right back up, but quickly meets with a spinning heel kick, sending him right back down! Ramirez turns back to the Enforcer, ready to continue Kayfabes efforts to unmask himbut the Enforcer reaches up and grabs Ramirez by the neck, crashing down with a jawbreaker! Ramirez staggers back into Falstaff, who catches and plants him with a German suplex on the concrete, dropping him directly on his head as the crowd gasps!
Ross: My God, did you see that?! Falstaff may have broken the poor guy,s damn neck!
Styles: Jose Ramirez is barely moving!
Lawler: Oh manthis may be serioushere come the EMTs!
A crew of eight EMTs rush out and attend to the fallen RamirezJoses eyes are open and he is cognizant of his surroundings, but he cant move his limbsthe EMTs set his neck in a brace and load him onto a stretcher, quickly wheeling him out, leaving Kayfabe in a handicap match!
Ross: Oh great, its two-on-one again!
Falstaff gaters Kay up and runs him into Evos cell, busting him wide open! With blood streaming down his face, Falstaff repeatedly bashes Kays head into the steel as Evo barks orders for more punishment. The Enforcer grabs Kayfabes taser and hands it to Evo, who reaches out and shocks Kayfabe in the scrotum as his former partner writhes in pain!
Lawler: AAAAAAAH!
Styles: I think Im gonna lose my lunch!
The crowd boos as Evo continues to taunt KayfabeThe Enforcer retreats under the ring as Falstaff tosses Kay back inside. Falstaff ties Kay in the ropes and backs up, getting a head of steamhe runs at Kay, who falls victim to the Get Thee To A Nunnery! As Kay dangles out of the ring still tied up, the Enforcer returns with a baseball bat!
Lawler: This is the beginning of the end right here!
The Enforcer winds up and swings, bashing Kayfabe with a hard shot to the ribs! Evo heckles Kayfabe as the crowd boos vociferously!
Ross: Good Lord, this is uncalled for, they should just end it now!
Styles: Oh, its in the bag, but theyre having too much fun!
The Enforcer tosses the bat to Falstaff, who lays in with several jabs to Kayfabes upper chest area. The Enforcer climbs on the apron and unhooks Kay, motioning for Falstaff to stand the bat up vertically
Lawler: This is gonna be good!
The Enforcer underhooks Kayfabes arms and pushes out, IMPALING KAYFABE WITH A PEDIGREE ON THE UPRIGHT BAT!
Ross: These two make me absolutely SICK!
Once again the Enforcer looks under the ring, this time returning with a table!
Styles: Ok, ok, even I agree this is too much!
As Falstaff sets the table up, the Enforcer once more reaches under the ring and pulls out a container of gasolinehe opens the container and pours gas all over the surface of the table! At this point, Evo reaches into his pocket and produces a book of matcheshe strikes one, sets fire to the rest of the book, and tosses it out of the cell onto the table, which bursts into flames!
Ross: Somebody stop this now!
Lawler: The nuisance is about to be burned, literally!
The Enforcer positions Kayfabe for a powerbomb and picks him upbut Kayfabe suddenly lays in with a barrage of closed fists in the stall position and falls down feet-first! Falstaff lunges at him incredulously, but Kayfabe back-body drops Falstaff through the flaming table!
Ross: What a reversal of fortune! Evo is stunned!
Styles: Oh my Gawd! How is Kayfabe even standing?!
Lawler: Falstaffs on fire!
The Enforcer regains his bearings and delivers a hard series of knife-edge chops to Kays chestbut Kay explodes forward and levels the Enforcer with a clothesline from hell! As he stumbles back to his feet, Kayfabe slaps on the Kaymission! He cinches it in deeply and the Enforcer starts to fade quickly!
Lawler: I dont believe this ingrate! How is he doing this?! His ribs have to be broken!
Evo bangs on the cell, demanding that the referee free him, but the official refuses. Meanwhile, Falstaff has rolled out of the flames, but is obviously burned badlydespite all this, he gets back up and grabs a chunk of the broken flaming table and nails Kay in the back, breaking the submission hold!
Styles: This guy is just that hardcore!
Falstaff grabs Kayfabe and chucks him headfirst into the ringpost, then flings him back into the ring and follows him in. Falstaff hoists Kay onto the top turnbuckle and climbs up after him, pulling him to a standing position, pointing at the personal cell yet again!
Lawler: Kayfabe just cant match these two, no way, no how!
Ross: This is all about making Kayfabe suffer at any cost and its damn wrong!
Falstaff grabs Kay by the throat, attempting to chokeslam him onto the cell.but Kayfabe kicks Flastaff low! Falstaff lets go and both men teeter on the top, but neither fallsKayfabe manages to reach down and hoist Falstaff into a firemans carryKay Drop off the top, back into the ring!
Ross: Its over! Its over!
Styles: No, it cant end like this!
Kayfabe weakly hooks the leg! 1..2The Enforcer pulls the referee out as Evo looks on intensely!
Lawler: YES!
Ross: Against all odds, Kayfabe had this damn farce of a match won!
The Enforcer slides back in but an incensed Kayfabe is there to meet him! Kay kicks the Enforcer in the stomach and pulls him inPOWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE, ONTO THE WRECKAGE OF THE FLAMING TABLE!
Ross: Kayfabe is on fire, no pun intended!
Loud E-W-A and Kayfabe chants engulf the arena as Kayfabe looks in Evos direction and flips him off! Kay slides outside and grabs the cage and despite Evos efforts to stop him, Kayfabe topples the cage over with Evo inside, to a huge pop! Kayfabe rolls abck in and gathers Falstaffs legs, calling for the Kayfabe Break sharpshooter!
Lawler: Cmon Enforcer, do something!
Ross: Forget about him, hes done!
Kay hooks Falstaffs legs and though Falstaff struggles, Kayfabe turns him over! The crowd is on its feetsuddenly Jose Ramirez races back out, chair in hand!
Ross: Oh my God, hes back! Jose Ramirez is back!
Lawler: How?!
Styles: I guess his neck wasnt broken after all!
Ramirez hits the ring and NAILS KAYFABE WITH THE CHAIR!
Ross: What the hell?!
Lawler: Jose Ramirez just turned his back on Kayfabe! I love it!
Kayfabe falls back, knocked out cold, as Falstaff hooks the leg! 1.2.3!
Winners via pinfall, Falstaff and Evos Enforcer
Ross: Why?! For the love of God, WHY?!
Ramirez scoops Kay up and whips him to the far side, catching him on the comeback with his trademark Pie Smash, onto the chair! Ramirez stomps away at Kayfabe as the crowd showers him with massive heat! Ramirez rolls outside and pulls Evos cage upright, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out the key, opening the cage!
Lawler: Who gave him the key?
Ross: I dont know, but its damn foul!
Evo rushes the ring and picks Kay up, calling for Ramirez to retrieve the ring steps! When he does, Evo positions Kay and hoists him up, crashing him down with a powerbomb on the steel!
Ross: The Exorcist Steps, made famous by Healius! This is vile, horrific and evil!
Falstaff crawls over to the battered Kayfabe and locks in the Herald of Pain crippler crossface, draining the life out of Kay! The hot Toronto crowd starts to pelt the ring with debris as the Enforcer rolls back in with a line of television cables and proceeds to fasten a loop around Kays right legFalstaff releases the submission hold and the Enforcer scrapes Kay off the canvas. Ramirez looks under the ring and comes out with a ladder, setting it up in the ring
Styles: This just reeks of something bad
Evo grabs Kay, climbs the ladder and sits his former partner on top as Ramirez and Falstaff grab the loose end of the cablethe Enforcer hands Evo his batEVO SMASHES KAYFABE ACROSS THE FACE! Kay falls back off the ladder but his body jerks back up halfway down as if he was bungee jumping!
Ross: Good God, his leg must have been pulled right out of the socket!
As Kayfabe dangles, the Enforcer takes the bat and continues to lay into him! There is no more movement in Kayfabe as he dangles bloodied, bruised and beaten. Evo motions for the microphone.
Evo: My fellow Canadians, you can thank me now! What you just witnessed was the total decimation and destruction of a man who thought he had it made, who thought he had one-upped me, who thought he couldnt lose. Well, Kayfabe, your ass @#%$in lost! Falstaff and my Enforcer did exactly what they said they were gonna do, and that was beat you to within an inch of your pathetic existence. What you never bargained for was my SECOND Enforcer, Jose Ramirez! He fooled you, bitch! It was THAT DAMN EASY! If youve learned one thing from this business, its to never trust ANYONE. You made a cardinal mistake and you paid for it in a way youll never forget. You dare challenge me again? Know thisyou were burned once and youll be burned again, worse than this, if you can imagine that. So, our work here is done
The four men begin to leave, but Evo stops them.
Evo: Oh, I almost forgot, one other thing. (motioning to the first Enforcer) If you will (the Enforcer unfastens his mask strap and slowly takes it off)I give you
Styles: Oh my Gawd! Its LONE WOLF!
Evo: Lone Wolf!
Ross: I should have known!
Evo: Kay, youll be seeing A LOT more of him if your ass decides to continue with this campaign. He wishes to offer you incentive against that.
Lone Wolf creams Kay a few more times with his bat, then the four walk out to the loudest heat of the night thus far! At the top of the ramp, Evo turns around and blows a huge kiss to his hometwon fans, who respond with louder boos!
Ross: Evolution is being booed right out of Toronto!
Lawler: Aww, cmon people, he did you all a favor and this is the treatment he gets? What a bunch of ungrateful louts!
Ross: Coming up next folks, we have, maybe one of the most anticipated debuts in EWA history, as we finally get to see, who this sick, maniacal, well,,,freak, Cracker Jack is. Avatar the current Extreme Wrestling Alliance American Champion, defends his gold in a No-Holds-Barred matchup, against the newcomer, The God of Suffering Cracker Jack.
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:02:59 GMT -6
Styles: Yes Ross, but even more importantly, he defends the health, mental and physical mind you, of those two girls abducted by Cracker Jack, one of those girls rumored to be his own sister.
The rather disturbing sound of Daddy by KoRn, hits the arena, as the fans remain quiet. The arena lights go out, as a spotlight hits the entryway. Cracker Jack than slowly paces his way out, wearing that smiling clown mask. He stands next to the spotlight, giving the effect of a shadow walking to the ring. He slides into the ring, and sits down in his corner, with his head in his hands, mumbling to himself, and shaking violently every 5 seconds or so.
Lawler: Ross, Im scared
Styles: Maybe Cracker Jack is using this image to scare his opponent? Sounds like a good strategy to me! Wait, they are giving him the mic.
A mic is rolled next to Cracker Jack. He picks it up, and holds it next to his mask.
Cracker Jack: Avatar, I hope you, and EWA, hasnt forgotten about MY special stipulation. HIT THE LIGHTS!
A spotlight points itself to the top of the arena, in the rafters. The crowd remains silent as they hear the cries coming from the younger of the two girls entangled in the barbed-wire web hanging up in the rafters. Cracker Jack cackles, as the lights slowly fade out. You hear the mic being dropped onto the canvas, and Jack is laughing loud enough for the camera to pick it up.
Igniting the arena into an uproar, Living in America hits the PA system.
Ross: You can always count on James Brown to pick a crowd up from a depressive state!
Lawler: Er,,,was supposed to be joke, Ross?
Styles: *gulp* I think it was.
As the lights of the arena turn to the red, white, and blue, walking out with a smile on his face, and the American Title around his waist, is the 220lbs fighting machine, Avatar! He raises his hands, turn around to look at the set, and heads down the ramp. He stops at the edge of the ramp, stares at Cracker Jack, and gives the camera a Cou-Cou look. He jogs down around the ring, slapping hands with all the fans. They absolutely love this guy!
Ross: What crowd reaction for the youngster!
Lawler: What?! These Canadians will cheer for anyone. Their cheers dont count.
Styles: You do realize this company is owned, and funded by a Canadian?
Lawler: Yeah, but Evo is Cana-DEE-an.
Ross: Just smile and nod Styles.
By this time, Avatar has climbed into the ring. He hands the belt over to the official, and takes his corner. Hes still hoping to the beat of James Brown, loosening himself up for the matchup.
Styles: Do you honestly think there was anyway Avatar could be ready for this guy?
Ross: I really dont know, but he seems ready, hes a fighting champion, and you can see that by the fire in his eyes.
The bell rings, and the official clears the middle of the ring, giving both men room to commence the match. Avatar takes his position in the center, while Cracker Jack still hasnt moved, hes still sitting in his corner laughing.
Styles: Hes in a trance it seems.
Lawler: Or the FunGrass.
You can hear Avatar shouting for Cracker Jack to get up, but he seems to be in his own little world. Avatar looks at the referee, and asks him to go see his opponent. The referee agrees, and begins to walk towards Jack. He taps the man on the shoulder, and with cat-like quickness, Jack grabs the officials arm, wrenches it, and to a sickening snap, breaks it.
Styles: OH MY GOD!
Ross: Theisman eat your heart out!
Lawler: That was a rather insensitive thing to say Ross. Im disappointed.
Jack suddenly gets up to his, and quickly begins marching towards Avatar. Cracker Jack stands face to face with Avatar, and whispers something into his ear. Avatar quickly responds shoving Jack down to the canvas. Cracker laughs it off.
Lawler: Hey! Cracker Jack was shoving with his words, not his hands!
The bell rings and the match is officially underway. Cracker Jack sits up to his knees, and keeps staring through his mask at Avatar. Avatar still doesnt get this guy, and the look on his face shows it. A second official slides into the ring. Jack slowly gets to his feet, and both opponents circle the ring.
Ross: I really wouldnt want to be that ref.
Styles: You were once. Remember when Lesvesque broke your arm on your Monday night program?
Lawler: I remember! I broke my rewind button the very next morning. Hee hee, remember Ross?!
Ross: Lets just get back to the match.
They finally stop measuring each other, and lock up. After struggling for a few seconds with each other, Avatar gains the advantage, and whips Cracker Jack head first to the canvas with a brutal shove. Jack rolls off of his head, and sits on his knees. He signals with his arms for more. Avatar looks at the crowd, and to a great ovation, dropkicks Jack in the face knocking his body back.
Ross: Wow, we almost took his head off with that dropkick!
But Jack pops right back up, and asks for ANOTHER one! Avatar looks at Jack with an Are you sure look, looks at the crowd, charges, and hits another vicious kick to the Gods jaw. The force was so strong, that Cracker Jack was sent rolling, and ends up face to the mat.
Styles: OH MY GOD.
Jack stays motionless for a full two seconds, then pushes himself back up to his knees. He looks at Avatar with that everlasting grin, and asks for more. This time Avatar gives him a short kick to the face, and then picks him up. Avatar backs him up into the corner, gives him two good body blows, and then three echoing chops.
Crowd: Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!
The American Champion, whips the challenger into the opposite corner, and comes charging in after him with a high-leg clothesline. He quickly follows up with three quick knees to the midsection, and then spins, and chucks Cracker through the top and second rope, sending him crashing to the outside.
Ross: Business is about to pick up!
Lawler: What? Your BBQ sauce is FINALLY coming out?!
Avatar wasting no time, and showing the determination that made him the champion he is, quickly hits the ropes, and leaps over the top-rope. He connects dead on with Cracker Jack sending both men to the concrete floor rather hard. The crowd cheers madly.
Styles: Textbook piscato!
Lawler: Mmmmmm, pistachios.
Ross: It seems to me that Cracker Jack didnt even try to avoid that move, he stood there, and let Avatar sledgehammer his body.
Lawler: Yeeeeeah, but what are you gonna do about it?
Avatar gets back to his feet, and Jack to his knees. Avatar picks him up, and whips him into the guardrail, and close up to the camera. Avatar runs in, elbows Jack in the skull, and chops him.
Avatar: What the hell is wrong with you?!
Cracker Jack In his other voice God is punishing me for my sins
Avatar shakes his head, drags Jack, and rolls him back into the ring. He reaches under the apron, and pulls out a ladder. He throws it over the ropes, and it lands rather awkwardly on Jack, sending an oooooh through the arena. Avatar then slides into the ring, Cracker Jack is already on his knees, with the ladder in his hands.
Ross: Dont tell me hes gonna GIVE Avatar the ladder?
Cracker Jack does exactly that, he hands Avatar the ladder. Avatar looks around at the crowd really bedazzled. He takes the ladder, mumbling : If you want it that way, and throws it right back into Cracker Jacks face. Jack manages to shake off the impact of the ladder, and stay on his knees.. He grabs it, and again gives it to Avatar.
Styles: Its like hes almost liking this!
Lawler: Looks to me that Avatar is enjoying this.
Avatar takes the ladder once again, and throws it right back at Jacks head. He falls back, clutches his head, and starts to scream and squeal incredibly loud!
Cracker Jack In the raspy voice Youve paid your dues son, your sins are forgiven.
Avatar gets a little spooked, and grabs the ladder getting ready for anything.
Cracker Jack In the raspy voice Take a rest Tommy, and let your father handle things
Avatar takes a step back, and flings the ladder one last time, but this time Cracker Jack catches it. He begins to shake, and throws the ladder to the outside. He lets out a big roar, and charges towards Avatar. They INTENSILY begin to exchange punches, as the crowd starts going completely insane!
Ross: This is turning into a
Styles and Lawler: Slobberknocker?
Ross: No, an actual wrestling match!
Cracker Jack seems to get the best of Avatar landing in one stiff right hand after another, until he backs up the champion into the ropes. Avatar gets whipped into the ropes. Coming back, he ducks the clothesline, hits the ropes again, leapfrogs over the backbody drop attempt, comes back one last time and hits a leg-scissor takeover. Jack rolls, and gets back up, charges once again, and almost takes Avatars head off with a clothesline.
Lawler: Looks like Avatar finally got a taste of Godliness!
Styles: Cracker Jack completely turned his offensive around.
Cracker Jack quickly mounts Avatar, and starts laying in punch after punch, while Avatar tries as best as he can to block the blows. Cracker Jack starts screaming in anger!
Cracker Jack In the raspy voice How does it feel getting hit?! Huh! You like hitting my son?! You like beating Tommy!!!? WELL I LIKE BEATING YOU, PRETTY BOY!!!!
Ross: He is truly one deranged individual.
He picks up Avatar, whips him into the ropes, quickly follows, and clothesline him, and himself over the top-rope onto the floor. Avatar gets the worst of the fall, and slowly gets up. Meanwhile Cracker Jack gets up onto the apron, stands with one foot on the second rope, and one on the rope supports. He waits for Avatar to completely get up, and leaps off with a corkscrew plancha.
Crowd: E-Dub-A! E-Dub-A! E-Dub-A!
Cracker Jack immediately gets up, and reaches under the ring apron to pull out a table. He sets it up. Meanwhile Avatar has managed to get back to his feet, and as Jack turns around to face him, Avatar plants a big boot to his head, another to the gut, and finally a HUGE elbow to the back of the head. Jack goes down to his knees, Avatar quickly follows up with a DRIVING pedigree onto the floor. The sound of Jacks skull against the pavement echoes through the arena and silence the crowd for a couple of seconds.
Styles: OH MY GOD.
Lawler: Well thats ironic.
Ross: Dont you think?
Lawler: A little too ironic
Ross: Yeah I really do think.
Avatar disloges the steel steps from the ring corner, and carries them under the table. He picks up Cracker Jack, and rolls him onto the apron. Avatar quickly follows him, but Cracker catches him off guard, and hits him a little below the belt. Avatar doubles over, and gets an uppercut to the jaw. Cracker Jack jumps up to his shoulders.
Styles: Cracker Jack going for the hu-nan-coun-rana
Ross: But Avatar is holding onto the ropes! Hes got Cracker Jack upside down! Good Lord no!
Avatar tightens his grip on Jack, and steps off of the apron, PILEDRIVING JACK THROUGH THE TABLE ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! Both men are motionless after the sickening sound of their bodies colliding with wood, then unforgiving steel.
Ross: Listen to the crowd, nothing. Look at their faces, nothing but concern.
Styles: Now tell me wrestling is fake.
The referee stands between both of their carcasses, and tries to revive them, asking them questions, and seeing if they are still conscious. Avatar taking the least of the bump, begins to show movement to a huge applause from the crowd. With the help of the guardrail he slowly gets up.
Styles: Simply amazing that Avatar managed to carry himself to his feet.
Lawler: He is not THE ONLY CHAMPION THAT MATTERS for nothing, Styles.
Avatar then collapses over the body of Cracker Jack, as the ref makes the count
1,,,2,,,KICK OUT!
Styles: Holy @#%$!
Avatar looks at the referee with an odd look, both of them cant believe he kicked out. He decides to pick up Cracker Jack, and whip him into the guardrail. Avatar comes charging in, but is backdropped into the crowd. Jack falls to his knees, and loosens his mask. A thick line of blood drips out of the bottom of his mask.
Ross: He must be in pain.
Lawler: By George! Youve got it! With bleeding, comes pain! Brilliant Ross.
Ross: The sarcasm is pleasantly appreciated King.
Both men slowly get back to their feet. Jack is inside the ring area, Avatar in the crowd. They start to exchange blows, until Cracker Jack rakes him in the eyes. He picks him up in a vertical suplex, and drops him down in a sitout piledriver.
Styles: The Journeys End, thats Avatars move!
Cracker Jack drags himself, favoring his left arm, to the apron. He reaches under and pulls out another table. He drags it with his right hand, and lays it over Avatar. Jack slides into the ring, and slowly begins climbing the top-rope. He reaches the top.
Ross: This could be The Wrath of God a version of a moonsault.
Styles: Its a shooting star press Ross.
The lights suddenly go out.
Lawler: Ahhhhhh!
Ross: Whats going on?!
A spotlight hits the top of the EvoTron.
Styles: Someones up there!
Ross: And he looks like hes got something to say
The man has a microphone in his hand, and begins talking.
Man: Tommy, stop.
Cracker Jack head suddenly rises. He starts staring straight at the man. He seems to be in a frozen state.
Man: Tommy its me, its your brother, Kenneth.
Ross: That man is Cracker Jacks biological brother Kenneth Riley. Weve only heard of him, but never actually seen him. Wow folks, theres a lot of unresolved issues between these two, and this is BIG.
Kenneth Riley: Tommy, what are you doing? Kidnapping your niece, kidnapping your sister, cutting your own face off with a boxcutter, calling yourself a God, whats gotten into you?
Screaming from ringside to the top of his lungs
Cracker Jack In the raspy voice There is no TOMMY!!! Hes found the light, hes seen the future, hes seen THE BETTER WORLD. He no longer has to live with pain, with loneliness, with self-hatred, he no longer has to live in the MORTAL world. Tommy, is dead. Hes been resurrected as CRACKER JACK THE GOD OF SUFFERING
Suddenly his voice changes
Cracker Jack In his other voice But Daddy, I want to be a family again. Im Tommy, Im not dead, Im not dead, Im not dead.
Kenneth Riley: Fight it Tommy, fight him!
Cracker Jack In the raspy voice Would you really hurt your Father, Tommy? I love you Son, I care for you, look what Ive done to your sister, to your niece, to your opponent, Im making them pay. Pay for what they did to you. Have you forgotten what they did to you?!
Cracker Jack In his other voice No Lord, I havent forgotten,,,but I have forgiven. And thats why you must forgive me God, for I know not, what I am about to do.
Kenneth Riley: Tommy NO!!! NO!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Cracker Jack leaps off of the top-rope, raises his arms in a cross-like fashion, like hes trying to fly. He swan dives head first where Avatar was lying. Avatar manages to move out of the way while all of this was going on. Cracker Jacks lands head first into the table, and the concrete. The wood is shattered into hundreds of pieces, as he lies unconscious.
Ross: Good Lord.
Styles: Hes dead.
The lights come back on in full force, as Avatar rolls one arm over the broken Cracker Jack.
1,,,2,,,3
WINNER AND STILL EWA AMERICAN CHAMPION, AVATAR
EMTs rush the scene as the ref drops his hand down for the final count. Living in America hits the PA system.
Ross: Folk, these are trained professionals, and the best in the business, no need to worry for our competitors.
Lawler: Cracker Jack is @#%$ing dead Ross!
They strap Cracker Jack to a stretcher, as blood gushes out of every possible orifice of his mask. The barbed-wire web is being lowered into the ring. Avatar slowly walks to the back getting a standing ovation from the fans, raising his belt one last time over his head before disappearing behind the curtain. The ring crew slides into the ring, and with the help of bold-cutters free the girls.
Ross: A great moment to this terrifying match.
Kenneth Riley then runs down the aisle and slides into the ring, to his family. He hugs his sister, and his niece, as they cry in his arms. The fans give them a standing ovation, as they slowly, with the help of EWA security make it to the back.
Styles: What an intense event.
Lawler: Aw shucks, you can always count on EWA to bring that warm feeling in your heart.
Ross: And folks, weve got a helluva lot more!
Ross: Well fans it is time now for quite a unique match up here as Hoosier Daddy battles Eclypse and King, quite the stipulations in this one
King: Oh youre telling me JR, I meanif Hoosier wins here tonight, he gets our own commissioner, well one of them that is, He wins Clock! He gets to obtain her services JR, I cant believe it, Haha!!
Styles: Hoosier and ClockI cant picture it!
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:03:54 GMT -6
Suddenly a loud voice cues up on the speakers "There is just one important question that anyone ever needs to ask in life, and that question is: WHO'S YOUR DADDY?". With that said, Hoosier comes out to loud boos from the crowd. He stands up on the stage for a few seconds, does a little ric flair type turn, then makes his way to the ring dressed in a very bright pink robealong with his matching pink wig! Ross: And here we go ladies and gentlemen, Hoosier now making his way to the ring and I cant believe that guy has a chance to obtain our commissioner! King: Haha, look at him JR! Hes great! I wonder how Clock looks in hot pink? Hoosier makes his way to the ring then slides in under the bottom rope. He stands up, poses to the crowd then presses his hands together, as if relishing over the fact that he may walk out with the commissioner! As he does that the fans immediately erupt as Mudshovel begins to blare throughout the Skydome!! Thousands upon thousands of fans get to their feet, hoping to see a glimpse of Eclypse!! Ross: LISTEN TO THIS OVATION! Styles: Eclypse is HOT! One half of Love and Hate! King: AHH, plug your ears guys! A huge explosion goes off behind Eclypse as the fans continue to cheer. She takes a look at the HUGE crowd on hand then runs down to the ring, hitting a few hands along the way. She quickly runs up the steps, jumps up onto the top rope then poses infront of the hundreds of camera flashes! After a few seconds, she springs back into a flying moonsault, landing solidly on her feet! King: AH, watch yourself! Styles: NICE FLIP! Ross: Thats why she is where she is today folks, a very talented individual in that ringand I dont mean Hoosier! King: What do you mean JR? Hoosier is just as talentedif not more talented then Eclypse! OHHH but he aint got the PUPPIES!! Haha Styles: But hes got a nice forarm shot to the back of the head!! OUCH! What a shot! The music stops as the bell rings after a behind the back attack by Hoosier! Without even taking his robe off, He throws Eclypse into the corner then begins to lay in some quick right and lefts, follwed by a hard Flair chop!! WHOOOOOO!!! Ross: My God what a hard knife-edge chop there by Hoosier Daddy King: See I told ya hes got more talent! He used some of that to get this match startednailing her from behind! Watch the puppies though! Ross: Would you quit it with the puppy talk already? Styles: Dont worry JR, youve got it easyI have to put up with----OH!! Styles suddenly is cut off by Eclypse who out of nowhere came flying over the top rope, hitting her head onto the table, then falling to the floor! The crowd at ringside gets up as Hoosier does a slight pose then begins to make his way to the outsidehowever as he does so, he notices the crowd begin to cheer!! Ross: MY GOD ECLYPSE WAS TOSSED OUT TO THE FLOOR LIKE A DAMN RAG DOLL! Styles: .MY GAWD! King: Somethings happening!! Hey look!! Its Clock!! Haha, shes here to get obtained!! Ross: Dont count your chickens before the hatch, Kingthis match just started! King: Oh dont worry JR, Its not chickens Im countingits PUPPIES!! Haha! Eclypse wastes no time and gets back up to her feet. She feels at her head to make sure theres no blood then spins around and notices her opponent in the ring. But to her surprise, he managed to forget about the match and rather focus on the Commissioner as she ends up walking down to ringside!!! Styles: Uh somebody should tell this guy that hes in the middle of a match! Ross: Well hes an idiot King: Hey, Ill tell him you said that The look upon Clocks face says it all as she looks over at Eclypse and tells her to get back into the ring. But as she does, Hoosier reaches over the top rope and grabs a hold of Eclypse by the hair. He muscles her up onto the apron then sets her up in a vertical suplex. He pauses, blows a kiss towards Clock then lifts Eclypse in the air! She remains vertical for a few seconds but manages to swrim out and land behind him on her feet! The crowd erupts as Eclypse immediately makes a run into the ropes and back at Hoosier! Styles: GREAT COUNTER! Ross: Well that distraction paid off, King A shocked Hoosier quickly spins around but gets nailed by a flying Eclypse as her whole body dives into Hoosier, sending both over the top rope to the floor below!! They both hit the ground hard to the right of Clock as she immediately goes to her aide! Ross: Well great flying body press right there by the young lady from Florida, as both tumble to the outside! Styles: Its incredible how Hoosier manages to keep his robe on after that! King: His robe? What about his hair! Look! His wig is still on! Haha With the crowd fully behind her, Eclypse gets up then lays in a few right hands to Hoosier, who managed to get to one knee. She throws in a swift kick to the gut then grabs a hold of his pink robe! King: Hey look! Shes stripping Hoosier! Haha, we all know who her daddy is dont we JR.. Ross: Well Im not even gonna go there, King Styles: But I will! It looks like Hoosier is her daddy! After pulling the robe completely over top of Hoosiers face, Eclypse takes a few steps back, signals to the crowd then charges the temporarily blind man. But seconds before making contact, she springs up on the guard rail then jumps onto HoosierNAILING HIM WITH A GREAT HURINCURRANA!! Styles: OH MY GAWD! King: AH! Ross: By God what a great Hurincurranna take down right there folks! King: Oh no, he lost his hair JR! The impact of that manuever sends Hoosier flying towards the ringpost, just landing a few feet before the metal steps. The crowd erupts with cheers as Eclypse raises the wig in the air then rolls to the inside! King: Hey! Shes a theft JR! Ross: No shes an incredible talent and shes not done!!! As Hoosier slowly gets up and tosses his robe aside, Eclypse hands the ref the pink wig then runs towards the corner, jumping up onto the top turnbuckle! Dozens of flashes quickly go off until she finally jumps!!! Falling straight down on Hoosier!!! But just in the nick of time, he looks up and drops to one knee, having Eclypses gut land HARD onto the knee sticking out!!! Pain is immediately seen upon her face as she begins to roll around ringside! Styles: OH MY GAWWD!! Ross: OH DEAR GOD! What a rough landing right there!! King: AHH her puppies!! They weresquashed JR! Hoosier immediately gets back up then goes straight for Eclypse, pulling her up by the hair. He begins to taunt her, saying a few words then slaps her across the face. He does it again then picks her up in an atomic drop!! However, with Eclypse in the air, he turns around throws her towards the ring post, which happens to catch Eclypse inbetween the legs!! As it does so, her head bounces off the post as well followed by a loud thud as Eclypse falls straight down, hitting the floor! Ross: OH DEAR GOD! King: Oh my god JR, He just tossed her as if she was nothing! Styles: What a move! It left bruises on three parts of her body! Ross: Well taking nothing away from the guy, he is strong Ill give him that much The crowd begins to lay in some heat as Hoosier stomps away at Eclypse! He then quickly grabs her by the hair then tosses her back into the ring, once again blowing another kiss at the commissioner... Ross: Well this match up now hopefully will remain in the ring, as Hoosier seems to have this match in his favor at the time being King: But I dont get it JR, look at Clockshe seems upset!! Styles: Well having a robe-wearin, wig modelin virgin named Hooser Daddy does that to ya, King.. King: Oh, good point Joey With the wig still in the ring, Hoosier reaches for it then presses it up against Eclypses faceas if tyring to suffocate her. He does it a few times then finally tosses the wig aside and throws her into the ropes. She comes running back as Hoosier grabs her in a bearhug position then tosses her over his head with a great suplex (a la Taz) King: Look at that JR, you mean to tell me that guy has no talent? Styles: Great suplex by Hoosier! I havent seen one of them sincewell, last nights taping.. Ross: Well Hoosier Daddy now showing some great offense, keeping the high flyer off her feet King: If I had her Id keep her off her feet aswellHaha Styles: Shutup Gertner Wasting no time, Hoosier gets back up then quickly tries for a pin. 1.2..She kicks out! The crowd begins to cheer but that is suddenly replaced by boos as Hoosier goes for her feet, setting her up in a slingshot-like manuever. He tells the crowd to shut up then falls back, sending Eclypse flying over top and hitting her head on the top turnbuckle. She backpeddles a few steps but is grabbed by HoosierREVERSE DDT!!! Styles: He got her!! IT MAY BE OVER! 1.2Kick out!! The crowd once again pops as Hoosier stands up and questions the count with the official. Realizing that theres no point arguing, He grabs Eclypse by the leg and pulls her into the center of the ring. After that, he immediately points to the top then goes upstairs!!! Ross: This may be over in a hurry if he hits this, folks King: You know what this is JR? Its Styles: THE WHOMPER!! Hes gonna hit it! He takes off! Soaring though the air, completing his flip then heading straght down!! Howeverthe crowd explodes as Eclypse manages to roll out of the way, allowing Hoosier to leg drop nothing but the hard ring canvas!! Styles: NOBODY HOME! Ross: DEAR GOD THAT:S THE DAMNDEST LEG DROP! King: The puppies are FREE!! With Hoosier rolling on the ground holding his assEclypse walks over, spreads his legs apart then nails her head down HARD into his crotch!!!! This brings another loud pop as Hoosiers eyes widen in pain!! Styles: I think that deserves a bigOH MY GAWWWWD! King: No way Styles, that deserves nothing but a big OUCH! With commissioner Clock cheering on with the fans, Eclypse runs towards the corner then jumps upstairshinting a BACK MOONSAULT!! She takes off and nailes it perfectly!! However, the impact has Eclypse falling backwards as Hoosier quickly rolls to the outside in painholding his gut along the way! Ross: Greatly executed Back spring moonsault there by Eclypse, this match would be over in my estimation King: Its not over JR, Hoosier is taking a breather! Styles: It better be a quick one cause look at Eclypse!!!!!!! A few more cameras go off as the full Sky dome attendance watches the highflyer run up onto the top rope then jump to the outside FLYING CORKSREW SENTON BOMB TO THE OUTSIDE!!!! Ross: OH MY GODOH MY GOD Styles: OH MY GAAWWD Both wrestlers lay there in obvious pain as a shocked Commissioner Clock looks on!!! Holy @#%$holy @#%$holy @#%$holy @#%$ Ross: I cannot believe what I had just seen right here folks Styles: Well I can and I must sayHOLY @#%$! King: Oh shes hurt JRI have never seen something like thatnot at that height..or speed! As the crowd continues to chant, Eclypse suddenly begins to move, using the ring apron to pull herself up. She reaches for Hoosier then tosses him into the ring, following him aswell King: This match is continuing??? After that??? Ross: Its called guts King, something you will never have! Styles: and something that definitely spread onto my windsheild as I was coming home at 2 am!!! Eclypse notices Hoosier roll into a perfect position then looks to the crowd and points to the top once againsending off a LOUD POP! Ross: Oh shes going up again, king King: AH, SHEs CRAZY! Styles: Talk about a frequent flyer! <!--EZCODE ITALIC START---<i> Suddenly as Eclypse goes to the top, Clock gets up on the apron and grabs Eclypses arm. With a look of concern she stares into her face, noticing the small amount of blood coming from Eclypses mo</i><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--- Ross: It appears that Eclypse may have been cut or.. King: Thats from no cut, JR.. Styles: Thats gotta be internal!!! She is internally damagedthis isnt good Ross: Oh wait a minute, shes bleeding internallythis match should be stopped if thats the case Clock tries to call the official however Eclypse brushes her aside then continues to make her way to the top. The crowd continues where they left off by cheering on however as Clock steps down from the apron, Hoosier manages to run into the ropes, causing Eclypse to crotch herself on the top turnbucle Styles:Oh NO! Thats gonna leave a mark! Ross: Great thinking there by Hoosier Daddybut with blood coming out of her mouth like that..this match should be stopped King! King: Stopped??? Ross are you forgetting something? This is the EWA, this is a Pay Per Viewwe stop for nothing, dont you remember Kemper Are--- Ross: Dont go there King! With Eclypse dazed on the top, Hoosier shoves the ref out of the way then sets her up for a modified version of the Outsiders Edge!!! King: OH look! Its going to be over in a second JR dont worry!! Styles: Hoosier Daddy calls this one The Final Question! Ross: Well its gonna be the final manuever if he hits this one thats for sure! With Eclpse in position, Hoosier slowly walks away from the corner and towards the center of the ring. The crowd begins to boo, in fear that Hoosier may win the match!!! With this in mind, Commissioner Clock jumps up onto the apron and gets the attention of the ref!! The crowd begins to get rilled up as Clock tries to tell the official that Eclypse is internally bleeding! King: Somebody should get her down, JR! Shes a commissioner! She may get hurt! Then that wont be a good asset once Hoosier obtains her, haha! Styles: WAIT A MINUTE.DJBOUTI DAN!! DJBOUTI DAN!! King: WHAT??? AHHH! Suddenly, The Nearly Mad Man from Djbouti enters the ring holding a great big VOODOO STICK!!! He calmly walks infront of Hoosier with a look of total concentration the swings the stick towards Hoosiers back VOODOO STICK SHOT TO THE GUT!!! Hoosier immediately drops Eclypse behind him then doubles over in pain VOODOO STICK SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! That 2nd shot did its work as Hoosier drops down on his stomach! With that being done, Dan calmly looks over at the Commissioner then rolls out of the ringbackpeddling all the way to the backnever leaving his focus from the Commissioner Styles: HEY..Whats all this about? King: Yeah I dont get it, JR! That crazy monkey-lover just cost Hoosier his chances with the commissioner! Ross:<!--EZCODE BOLD START---<b> Well what ever the reasons, It appears that Eclypse has won the match! <!--EZCODE BOLD START---<b> K</b><!--EZCODE BOLD END---</b><!--EZCODE BOLD END--- But look!! Dan is smiling at Clock from the aisle!! After a few short seconds of admirationDjbouti Dan finally leaves the scene as Eclypse slowly crawls over, flips Hoosier onto his backand goes for the pin. 12..KICK OUT!!! King: NO! HE KICKED OUT!! Ross: HOW IN THE HELL Styles: Those deathly shots couldnt keep the man down! The crowd all moans in anger as Hoosier kicks out and then slowly crawls to the corner. Meanwhile Eclypse calmly wipes the blood from her mouth then gets up, holding her gut with her right hand. The crowd helps cheer her on as Hoosier gets up then dashes towards Eclypse!!! However, she side steps him, having Hoosier run into the corner. He then backpeddles right into Eclypse as she hooks her arm over his head then runs towards the corner TORNADO DDT OFF THE ROPES!!! The crowd is ON THEIR FEET as Eclypse nails it then points to the top rope one more time!!! Ross: (over the crowd) OH HELL YEAH!! OH YEAH! King: WHAT? Styles: NICE TORNADO DDT BY ECLYPSE!! AND SHES GOING TO THE TOP! With Hoosier laying on his back a few feet from the corner, Eclypse slowly gets to the top, then looks into the crowd one more time!!! Sweat rolls off her face as blood can be seen dripping from her mouth. Eclypse lifts her right hand from over her kidney then poses for her finisher Ross: TOTAL ECLYPSE! TOTAL ECLYPSE! King: Hoosier you idiot!! GET UP!! Styles: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE Suddenly, from the crowda fairly toned and attractive woman is seen jumping the guard rail and climbing the apron towards Eclypse!!! Ross: WHO IN THE HELL--- King: HEY, LOOKThatsTHATsKall--- Ross: MY GOD KALLISTA!! ITs Kallista!!! Styles: ONE OF LWNS ORIGINAL TOUGH GIRL!! Kalli is here!!!! ? With the crowd in shock, Kallista grabs Eclypse by the hair then raises her fistgiving the camera man a long good shot at her BRASS KNUCKLES!!! Without wasting anymore time, Kalli begins pounding away with fisted shots, nailing Eclypse 4 times in that sore gut area!!! She then finishes that combination off with one DEVASTATING SHOT TO THE FACE!!! Eclypse drops into the ring hard as Kallista quickly jumps down from the apron then takes off through the crowd.3 EWA security guards are seen following Ross: WHAT THE HELL??? Styles: OH MY GAWD!!! Ross: DAMN HERDAMN HER TA HELL, KING! King: HaHaShut up JR, somebody is about to obtain the commissioner!!! Haha With blood now pouring from her mouth, Hoosier quickly gets down at hooks Eclypse up for a pin Ross: OH NO, COME ONNOT LIKE THIS!! 12.3!!! Your winner, Hoosier Daddy!!!Styles: OH MY GAWD HE WON IT! Ross: Oh my God he did itthe damn sonuvabitch won the damn match! King: HAHA, Not only that guysLOOK!! HE WON CLOCK!! He now has OBTAINED HER!!! WHOOHOO! With a few officials now croutched over Eclypse, Hoosier slowly stands up then raises his hand as his music starts to play!! He backpeddles into the corner, smiles to the crowd then notices the Commissioner slowly making her way to the back! A look of shock and disgust is on her face as she looks down in embarrasment hoping to quickly get out of the arena King: HEY? Wheres she going JR? She agreed to this! Styles: Well Hoosier hasnt forgotten, look at him go! Suddenly Clock is spun around then tossed over Hoosiers shoulder as he smiles into the crowd then slaps her ass a couple timeswalking up the aisle in excitement as a furious Clock is seen trying to break free!!! Ross: I cannot believe what I just saw moments ago folks, Kallista---known fairly well to those who followed the now dead LWN---she has returned!!! King: I cant believe it JR! I dont even think she has a contract yet, she just showed updid the damage then got the heck outta here! I like her! Meanwhile, the camera focuses back on Eclypse who is still lying defensless on her back. Paramedics are now surrounding her as the crowd stands in sadness Ross: Well, we apologize for this delay but as you can see fans, Eclypse is hurt here Styles: Well all those flips will take its toll sooner or later guysI mean, remember that one spot where she dived right down on Hoosiers knee!! I bet thats the cause of this right here! Suddenly, a few fans at ringside are seen getting pushed out of the way as a woman once again jumps over the guard rail and rolls into the ring. The crowd gives HUGE HEAT after finding out that its her again!!! Ross: WELL SPEAK OF THE DEVIL, KING! Styles: Its Kallista!!! SHEs RETURNED!!! EMTs quickly stand up with their hands infront of them, trying to calm the woman down. That fails as Kalli knees one in the gut then tosses him to the outside! Another then approaches her but she nails him with a SPINNING HEEL KICK! Ross: FOR CRYING OUT LOUD THOSE ARE EMTS! Styles: This BITCH IS UNSTOPPABLE! King: I dont like this JR, Id get Eclypse outta there With one more EMT standing before Eclypse, the crowd begins a deafening @#%$ YOU chant! However that doesnt calm Kalli down as she steps towards Eclypse. The 3rd Emt takes a step back until finally rolling out of the ring. Leaving Eclypse helpless in the corner. Ross: OH NOW HOW FAIR IS THIS? WHAT KIND OF A WOMEN IS THIS King: Shes someone who has something against Eclypse thats for sure! Styles: Kalli know stanind over Eclypse! But shes trying to get up! Theres still some fight left in her! Eclypse pulls herself back up then charges Kalli. But shes too banged up as Kalli grabs Eclypse and positions her for a powerbomb! Small pieces of garbage begins to flood the ring but that doesnt stop her Styles: Ive seen this move before! Ross: Well this Gisabell shouldnt even be in the damn building!! Yet shes getting more air time then that EWA star Dreamer! King: Who? POWERBOMB!!! The impact is quite hard as Eclypse lays motionless in the ring. A few more paramedics are seen, rolling a stretcher to ringside as Kallista once again continues the onslaught by croutching over the bloodied figure and pounding away those BRASS KNUCK SHOTS TO THE GUT!!! The bell is heard echoing the SkyDome as more officials run down to the ring Ross: OH COME ON DAMMIT! STOP THIS FOR CRYING OUT LOUDTHE DAMN MATCH IS OVER! Styles: Eclypse is spitting up blood as if it were spit! King: Uh, thanks Joey.but JR, the match is over but youre forgetting a big poing hereKallista wasnt even in this match up! Therefore she shouldnt even be here! Ross: For some reason I smell Commissioner Andrew Leigh all over this attack, King Finally after laying in a good dozen shots, Kallista gets up, looks into the crowd, dodges all the garbage then makes her way up the aisle to the back!!! Styles: Im telling you guysthat bitch is tough! Did you see those shotsmy goodness! King: Well no question about itEclypse is hurt bad! Ross: Well folks we will try our best to keep you posted on the conditions of..hell of all our superstars as soon as we get that information..or you can head over to PromoFlash to find out all the latest gossip and results! However, the show must go on and Im telling ya, this one should be absolutely explosive, a triple-threat match to determine the #1-contender for the EWA Title! Dave Dudley and Healius certainly have a history since Healius arrived in the EWA and in recent weeks, Sirius has thrown himself into this feud after reminding all of us that he has what it takes to be the #1-contender!
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:04:28 GMT -6
Lawler: Well hell, JR, he already HAS a guaranteed shot so this match is extraneous!
Styles: First Dudley sent him to the back-burner, then Healius did. He keeps getting overlooked, but tonight, that ends!
Glycerine hits, sending the Toronto crowd into a frenzied booing as Sirius makes his way down. The former American Champ stops halway down the aisle, hands on hips, surveying the crowd as he shakes his head with indignation.
Lawler: Thats no way to treat a champion!
Ross: He has to prove himself, King! He hasnt done it yet!
Sirius climbs on the apron and flicks the crowd off, eliciting massive heat...which is even more heated as Dead Bodies Everywhere cues up, and out comes Dave Dudley and Sign Guy Dudley...Dave has the barbed-wired chair!
Ross: Damn!
Styles: Im thinking we should duct tape that mouth of yours, its so foul!
Lawler: Ive been sayin that for years
As he walks down, Dave is hit square across the face with a glass bottle flying from the stands! EWA Security immediately bumrushes the offending fan, but Dudley is livid and lunges toward the barricade! Sensing a perfect opportunity, Sirius rolls outside and grabs the ring steps! He rushes up the aisle and throws them hard into the back of Dave Dudleys head, sending the Hardcore Icon over into the crowd!
Ross: Hot damn! Not wasting any time at all!
Sign Guy snatches the barbed-wire chair and swings at Sirius, nailing him hard across the back, busting him wide open! Sirius drops the steps over the barricade onto of Dave Dudley as Sign Guy rears back and plasters Sirius across the head, again drawing blood!
Lawler: Carnage already!
Styles: And Healius isnt even out here yet!
Sirius falls to the ground, a bloody mess! Sign Guy pulls the ring steps off Dave and scoops Sirius up, then whips him hard into the steel steps!
Ross: For Gods sake, get him outta here! He isnt in the damn match!
Lawler: Maybe he should be though!
Sign Guy scrapes the bloodied Sirius off the concrete and drags him to the ringside area, flinging him forcefully into the ringpost! Sirius careens off and flies around the post, ultimately ending up half upside-down against the barricade! At this point, a groggy Dave Dudley rises from the first row and climbs back over the barricade, once again grabbing the bardbed-wire chair!
Styles: These Dudleys want to end Sirius career!
Sign Guy tosses Sirius into the ring as Dave rolls in...the Hardcore Icon whips Sirius to the far side and hoists him up on the comeback, planting him with the Dudley DVD!
Lawler: He can end it right here!
Sign Guy flings the barbed-wire chair into the ring as dave calls for the 4D!
Ross: No, no! Hell mangel his face beyond recognition!
Styles: He just doesnt care, JR!
Dave sends Sirius in for the ride and sends him sky-high with a tremendous body press...4D ONTO THE BARBED-WIRE CHAIR!
Ross: Oh good God! Sirius is an absolute bloody mess! It looks like hes been in a car wreck!
Dave gets back up and holds his hand up high as the crowd boos voraciously! Dave drops to his knees, as if entrances, and covers Sirius...just then Duel of the Fates hits and the crowd rises to its feet as Healius races out with a golf club! Healius slides in! 1........2........Healius nails Dave in the back with the head of the club, shattering the graphite! Dave rolls off bellowing in pain as Healius pounces on him like a rabid animal, choking him out with the handle of the club!
Ross: Things just got a helluva lot more interesting!
Lawler: Hes assaulting him, thats not right!
Healius scoops Dave up and whips him into the corner, following up with a tremendous splash! As dave stumbles out of the corner dazed, Healius grabs him and plants the Icon with a double-arm DDT!
Styles: Dave Dudley is in a bad way here!
Ross: Good! He deserves every bit of this treatment!
Healius pulls Dave back to his vertical base then hoists him up, dropping him throat-first over the top rope...Dave bounces back into the center of the ring and Healius slides sown, hooking the leg for a quick cover! 1.........2........Dave kicks out!
Lawler: Its gonna take a lot more than that!
Healius drags Dave to the ropes and drapes him chest-first over the bottom rope, then retreats to the top and measures Dave...but Sign Guy leaps on the apron and jiggles the top rope, crotching Healius, as a collective gasp overcomes the crowd!
Lawler: OUCH!
Ross: That damn Dudley is screwing everything up!
Sign Guy hops off the apron and climbs under the ring...returning with a table! He sets it up on the outside...
Styles: OHHHHH BOY!
Ross: I dont have a good feeling about this at all!
As Healius sits crotched, Sign Guy slaps Dave across the face, reviving him! Dave slowly gets up and climbs up after Healius! Healius appears dazed, but suddenly stands up on the middle ropes, hooking Dave for a Saxa Bottom! He pushes off, but Dave blocks by firmly grasping onto the top rope! Dave knees Healius in the groin, sending Healius back into a sitting position on the top turnbuckle...Dave re-orients himself and climbs to the top, then quickly hooks Healius, shifts to the side and SUPERPLEXES HIM TO THE OTUSIDE, THROUGH THE TABLE!
Ross: OH MY GOD! HEALIUS IS BROKEN IN HALF!
Lawler: So is Dave Dudley!
Styles: Only in the EWA!
E-W-A! E-W-A! E-W-A! chants spread like wildfire throughout the arena as all three men are down and out! Healius barely moves in the wreckage of the table and Dave Dudley only moves minimally...Sirius is the most cognizant, slowly crawling towards the ropes...
Ross: In all my years in this business, Ive never seen anything quite like that!
Sirius finally rolls outside, still caked in blood, and scrapes Dave Dudley off the table, dragging him onto the Spanish announce table! Sirius signals the crowd, then hoists Dave up and plants him with the Vendetta, obliterating the announce table!
Ross: Oh good God, enough is enough! How can they endure this punishment?!
Styles: They hate each other with a vengeance and will go to any length to end each others careers!
But that took as much out of Sirius as it did Dave and once again, all three men are out! Sign Guy once again disappears under the ring, returning with a potato sack...
Lawler: AHHHH! Only one thing could be in there!
Sign Guy opens the bag and pours thousands of tacks down on the outside, then scoops Sirius and sets him in powerbomb position! He tries to lifts him up, but Sirius rears his head up and golattas Sign Guy, sending him into convulsions! Sirius pulls up and grabs Sign Guy by the throatCHOKESLAM ONTO THE TACKS!
Ross: That backfired on the idiot!
Sirius staggers over to Healius, tossing him back into the ring. Sirius scrapes the obviously hurt Healius off the mat and lifts him up in an inverted vertical suplex, crashing him to the canvas with a DDT, the Corruption!
Lawler: Sirius can end it right here!
Styles: And prove his worthiness to the entire world!
Sirius grabs Dave Dudleys barbed-wire chair and goes to the far corner, fastening the weapon between the top and middle ropes. The former EWA Champion grabs Healius by the legs and rocks back, catapulting him into the chair!
Styles: Oh my Gawd!
Ross: That busted Healius open for the first time!
Healius claws at the ropes, trying to get back up, but Sirius is right back on him, dropping a succession of hard knees to the back of his head, then choking him out on the bottom rope with his boot. Sirius drags Healius back to his vertical base and attempts a short clothesline, but Healius catches him out of nowhere and plants him with a Saxa Bottom as the crowd rises to its feet! Healius weakly hooks the leg!
Ross: This is it! 1..........2.........he kicked out!
The crowd is stunned as Sirius barely breaks the count! Healius grabs the barbed-wire chair and sets it down as Sirius slowly pulls up...Healius takes hold of him and delivers the Roman Collar twist-of-fate onto the barbed-wire!
Lawler: Not again! Sirius is all cut up!
At this point, Healius can feel it! The crowd rises in anticipation as Healius jumps outside and tosses Dave Dudley back inside as well!
Ross: Aw hell yeah! Hes got them both!
Healius positions Dave Dudley and lifts him up, dropping him with a powerbomb in the center of the ring...and another, the Lie Down Forever, Lie Down!
Ross: Hes down alright!
Healius hooks the leg! 1.........2.........SIRIUS BREAKS IT UP!
Lawler: How the hell did he do that?!
Ross: I dont have...
Styles: A DAMN CLUE, JR, A DAMN CLUE! We know already!
Ross: Fine then.
Healius gets back to his feet but meets with a knee to the gut...Sirius tries a Stunner, but Healius pushes him off! Sirius bounds off the ropes with a clothesline but Healius ducks...Sirius stops mid-way and nails Healius with a superkick when he turns around!
Styles: Great ring management right there!
Lawler: I told you, he has it all!
Sirius grabs Healius and takes him in a bearhug, slamming him down with the Annihilation, into a cover! 1..........2..........DAVE DUDLEY STOPS THE COUNT!
Ross: Aww hell, just when you think the damn Dudley is down, here he is again!
Sirius pulls up and lunges after Dave, whos still on his knees...but meets with a low blow! Dave staggers up and immediately scoops Sirius, crashing him down with a very sloppy EMMF tombstone! Hes so spent, he cant even cover!
Styles: Its really anybodys game here!
Dave finally manages to drape an arm over Sirius! 1..........2..........Healius with an axe-handle to Dudleys back, stopping the count!
Ross: All three of these guys have now prevented this match from ending!
At this point, Healius slides outside and disappears under the ring as Dave pulls Sirius back up and positions him for the Dave Bomb!
Styles: This one is over!
Lawler: Wheres Healius going? He'd better pay attention to Dave!
Ross: I dont know...but wait, hes back with...a...lacrosse stick?
Healius walks over to the area to the side of the timekeepers table and extends the stick into the crowd...suddenly a man emerges holding onto the other end!
Ross: That looks a lot like...
Lawler: It cant be....how the...
Styles: Oh my Gawd, its like a normal-sized version of MINI-MATT from the LWN!
Ross: What the hell?! Mini-Matt was two-foot-four! This guy is at least six-foot-two!
The man leaps from the stands and grabs the lacrosse stick, sliding into the ring! Dave sees him coming and releases Sirius! Dave leaps over the top rope in confusion as Matt wheels around and nails Sirius across the back of the head!
Lawler: He must be Healius spade!
Ross: What a shocker, Healius really delivered!
Styles: Mini-Matt was an ally of the Southern Gentlemen, of course! It makes sense!
Lawler: If that's him, he sure ain't mini anymore!
Ross: Good God, did you hear that sickening thud!
Healius rolls back in and gathers Siriushe positions him, underhooking his arms! Enlightenment pedigree! Healius covers Sirius as Matt stands guard, preventing Dave Dudley from entering the ring! Dave is livid as the referee starts counting! 1..........2...........SUDDENLY MATT TURNS AROUND AND BASHES HEALIUS WITH THE LACROSSE STICK!
Ross: Oh good Lord, no!
Styles: Are you kidding me!
Lawler: Matt just screwed Healius, I love it!
Dave Dudley glances at Matt and the two smile deviously! Dave climbs back in as Matt scoops Healius up, whipping him to the far sideDudley hoists Healius into the air on the comeback, nailing the diamond cutter on the way down! 4D! 4D! 4D! Dave rolls him over and covers! 1............2.............3!
Winner via pinfall, and #1-contender for the EWA Title, Dave Dudley
Matt looks down at Healius with great contempt as a look of fury washes over his face, dissolving into satisfactionMatt spits on Healius, then walks up the aisle as the crowd boos heavily at his actions.
Ross: I just don't understand his motivationwhy the hell would he take Healius out?! What did Healius ever do to him?
Styles: Healius is nothing now, the power lies in Dave Dudley's hands! It's obvious the once former Mini-Matt wants power. He knew where to go.
After a few moments, Healius comes to completely confused and dazed. He staggers up and glances at the EvoTron, replaying the final moments of the triple-threat. S he watches, he grows wide-eyed as he sees matts betrayal, realizing what happened. Healius slides out and races up the aisle, disappearing behind the curtain, with a camera following.
Healius: Where the @#%$ is he?! Matt, get you @#%$in ass out here, you piece of @#%$!
Healius tears up the hallway, throwing chairs aside, overturning tables, busting into dressing roomshe finally catches a glance of Matt running out of the building and into the parking lot!
Healius: Get back here you son-of-a-bitch!
Healius runs towards the parking lot and busts through the door, just in time to see Matt peeling away! Healius leaps in his car and peels out in the same manner, following att out of the parking lot!
Styles: Healius has left the building!
Ross: Healius is livid!
Lawler: Run Matt, run!
Matt looks down at Healius with great contempt as a look of fury washes over his face, dissolving into satisfactionMatt spits on Healius, then walks up the aisle as the crowd boos heavily at his actions.
Ross: I just don't understand his motivationwhy the hell would he take Healius out?! What did Healius ever do to him?
Styles: Healius is nothing now, the power lies in Dave Dudley's hands! It's obvious the once former Mini-Matt wants power. He knew where to go.
After a few moments, Healius comes to completely confused and dazed. He staggers up and glances at the EvoTron, replaying the final moments of the triple-threat. S he watches, he grows wide-eyed as he sees matts betrayal, realizing what happened. Healius slides out and races up the aisle, disappearing behind the curtain, with a camera following.
Healius: Where the @#%$ is he?! Matt, get you @#%$in ass out here, you piece of @#%$!
Healius tears up the hallway, throwing chairs aside, overturning tables, busting into dressing roomshe finally catches a glance of Matt running out of the building and into the parking lot!
Healius: Get back here you son-of-a-bitch!
Healius runs towards the parking lot and busts through the door, just in time to see Matt peeling away! Healius leaps in his car and peels out in the same manner, following att out of the parking lot!
Styles: Healius has left the building!
Ross: Healius is livid!
Lawler: Run Matt, run!
Ross: Now theres an explosive situationbut this is what its all about, guys, whos the Game in the EWA...here we go!
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Post by Dave Dangerously on May 19, 2008 19:04:48 GMT -6
Styles: Ice and Hampton are neck n neck in wins and each has held the World Title before!
Lawler: But Dan Hampton has the biggest advantage of the two, Clocks ArmyHas been banned from ringside! That means no Healius, no Commisioner Clock, and no Eclypse! This is gonna be a down the middle match up!
Ross: How can you say that with a straight face? I doubt the Gravediggaz will play a role, but certainly that Damn Dudley will stick his nose in this business. If not, the Commissioner Andrew Leigh himself!
The Announcer climbs into the ring with a microphone in his hand.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Extreme Wrestling Alliance World Championship!!
This draws out a huge pop from the crowd! In the front row, the camera zooms in on Tyler Mane!
Lawler: Look its Tyler Mane!
Ross: Former wrestler in the WCW and soon-to-be Sabertooth in the upcoming X-Men movie!
Tyler Mane is going crazy in the front row! Hootin and Hollerin!
Lawler: I love that guy!
Finkel: Making his way down the aisle, from Lindenherst, NY boos[/i]) weighing in at one hundred and eighty two pounds, the FORMER EWA Champion, Daaaaaannn Haaaamptoooooon!!
The crowd is on their feet booing as the lights go out. Over the house speakers "Simon Says" hits. A video montague of Dan Hampton winning the World Title and doing his finisher, A Phoenix Splash, on various opponents plays. When the boom of the drums hits, all across the stage pyrotechnics explode! The lights come back on and Dan Hampton comes out. He walks out to massive boos from the crowd.
Lawler: A shoe in to win, but this will be a close one!
Styles: I gotta go with Ice! He overcame the odds a few weeks ago on Massive, and hell do it again here tonight!
Ross: What are you two blabbing about, this match comes down to that Damn Dudley!
Styles & Lawler: Shut up!
Finkel: And now...
All I Want by Offspring hits! The crowd goes nuts!
Finkel: Weighing one hundred and eighty five pounds, HE IS the EWA World Heavyweight Champion.....ICE!!!!!!
Pyros shoot down onto the ramp, and fireworks blasts off from the stage!! As the light show calms...Ice is seen in the entranceway. He has the World Heavyweight title around his waist. He walks down to the ring as the fans on either side of the aisle pat him on the back. He climbs into the ring as the referee holds off Dan Hampton. The announcer takes the World title and scurries out of the ring. Ice and Dan Hampton stand toe to toe. Its obvious that Ice has over half a foot on the challenger. The referee calls for the bell!
Ross: Here we go!!
Dan Hampton swings at Ice, who blocks! Ice returns with a punch of his own, rocking Dan Hampton back! Hampton swings again, but again Ice blocks!! Ice capitalizes early, punching Hampton into a corner!
Styles: Ice is on fire!
Ross: Thats strangely ironic!
But Hampton counters with a knee to the groin! Hampton spins Ice into the corner and starts laying kicks into the World Champion! A Kick to the leg, to the sternum, and a high kick to the face!
Ross: The tide has definitely changed!
Hampton tosses Ice to the outside. Ices body careens off of the concrete on the outside! Hampton positions himself, grabbing onto the top rope, HE LEAPS OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO ICE WITH A LEG DROP!
Styles: Gullotine Leg Drop onto ICE!
Lawler: OUCH! This is almost too much!
Hampton grabs the back of his leg, but still gets to his feet. He rubs it as the referee begins the count! Hampton reaches underneath the ring and pulls out....A HOCKEY STICK!
Lawler: HA HA! Hes gonna use Ices own weapon against him! I love it!
Ross: This definitely wont be pretty!
Hampton lifts up, AND breaks the hockey stick across the chest of ICE! Ice convulses, but doesnt get up. Hampton looks at the broken hockey stick wide eyed. Hampton takes the piece in his hand and begins choking the Champ!!
Styles: They better get back in the ring before they get counted out!
Hampton lifts up Ice and rolls him into the ring. Hampton slides back in as the referee gets to an eight count! Hampton grabs Ice by the back of the head and lifts him up. He takes him over to the ropes and begins choking Ice on the ring ropes! Hampton comes off the ropes, bouncing off of the opposing ropes.....BUT ICE MOVES! He takes the Top rope down with him! Dan Hampton goes flying over the top rope and right in front of the announce table!
Lawler: Look out!
Ice climbs up to the top rope. He waits for Dan Hampton to get to his feet.
Ross: Missle Drop Kick!!!
Ice hits a missile drop kick to the back of Hamptons head sending it smashing into the announce table! Hampton grabs his head as his head is now busted open. Ice spins him around on the announce table. He chops him in the chest as a Whooo!from the crowd is heard! Another chop! Whooo! Ice finishes off with some punches to the head which Hampton reverses! He hooks him in a double underhook.... Brain Surgery on the outside!
Ross: Brain Surgery!
Lawler: Get him back in the ring and pin em!
Hampton doesnt listen, ad he pounds away at Ice with several boots to the head. Hampton flips up the ring apron and pulls out a table! The crowd starts up a chant of ta-ble! ta-ble! as he sets it up. Hampton gets the table up and rolls Ice onto it!
Ross: This doesnt looks good for the World Champion!
Dan Hampton climbs up into the ring and up to the top turnbuckle! He turns his back to Ice....MOONSAULT!
Styles: Frayed Ends of Sanity!
But the World Champion rolls off of the table...SENDING HAMPTON CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!
Lawler: This doesnt look good for the challenger!
Hampton is convulsing on the ground as Ice regains his bearings. He lifts Hampton up and rolls him back into the ring. He lifts up Hampton, who is still dazed from his moonsault. Ice guides him to the corner. Ice climbs up to the top rope, and drags Hampton up to the second rope. Ice leaps over Hampton, grabbing his legs, and powerbombing Hampton into a pin!
Styles: What a move!
Ross: And we have our first pinfall!
1.......2.......Hampton gets the shoulder up! Ice looks frustrated. He gets up and plays the crowd to a big pop! Hampton manages to get back to his feet! Ice grabs him and whips him to the ropes....on the return Ice catches Dan Hampton with a Samoan Drop! Another pin by Ice, 1.......2.......again Hampton gets a shoulder up!
Ross: Dan Hampton is showing us his resiliency!
Ice picks up Hampton again, and makes a motion as to what is next to come! The crowd responds with a loud pop!
Styles: It looks like hes gonna go for the Ring Smash!
Hampton stumbles...HITTING THE REFEREE! The referee falls through the ropes to the outside! Hampton turns back to Ice....RING SMASH! Ice covers!
Ross: 1...2....3...4...5 wheres the referee!?
Ice gets off of Dan Hampton and slides to the outside to help up the referee. Ice lifts up the referee and helps him back into the ring. Dan Hampton meets Ice with boots to the back and head. Hampton puts his knee down into Ices neck!! Ice frantically grasps at the ropes!
Styles: He doesnt even need the ropes its an illegal hold anyway!
The ref counts, 1...2...3...4...5! Hampton lets go. He then goes right back at it with a choke hold! 1....2....3....4....Hampton releases it! He pulls Hampton off of Ice. Hampton turns to the referee and gets into his face! The champion rolls to his feet. Hampton backs down the referee into the corner. Ice begins flipping towards Dan Hampton....Dan Hampton turns back around and is met with a SWANTON SPEAR!
Styles: Swanton Spear!
Ross: Look out ref!
Ice drives Hampton right into the referee!! The referee slumps down to the ground. Dan Hampton stumbles back and Ice spins him around....TIGER DRIVER!
Lawler: No! Ice is going to retain!
Ross: No! The referee is down! Theres no one to count!!! And DAMN IT ALL TO HELL ITS THAT DAMN DUDLEY!!!!
Styles: And thats not all! He had the Commissioner Andrew Leigh in tow!
Lawler: Wheres Sign Guy Dudley?
Ross: We all knew something like this was bound to happen. With Clocks Army banned from ringside, and the referee out, this is going to be a three on one!
Dudley runs down ahead of the Commish and slides into the ring. BUT hes met with a flurry of flying fists by the Champion!
Ross: Ice isnt backing down one bit!
Styles: It seems as though he almost expected something like this!
Dudley gets pushed back further and further. Dave is able to counter with a kick to the stomach!
Lawler: There goes his momentum, now its time for Team Leigh to capitalize!
Andrew Leigh grabs a chair from the outside and climbs up into the ring. The fans are now beginning to throw cups of soda into the ring. A Coca-Cola cup bounces off of Dudleys head!!
Ross: Good aim there!
Dave hold up Ice, with his hands behind his back. Andrew Leigh @#%$s back the chair.....ANDPLASTERS ICE ACROSS THE SKULL!!!! Ice slumps down to the canvas. Dave begins to go get Hampton, but Andrew stops him! He begins shouting...
Leigh: 4-D THAT @#%$!!
Dave smiles and lifts Ice up by his hair. Ices head is now bleeding profusely. Dave sets him up....BUT ICE COUNTERS! He Back-Body drops Dave over the top rope!
Ross: A second wind here by the champion!
Ice begins taunting Andrew Leigh! Commissioner Leigh swings the chair at him...Ice ducks! RING SMASH ON ANDREW LEIGH!
Styles: Ice has taken apart Team Leigh!
The crowd is on its feet now as they see someone running down the aisle!
Ross: Its referee Johnny Boone!
The crowd is cheering now as Ice goes to make the cover!
Lawler: No
Ross: This is it!
1.......2.......
Styles: Three!
DAN HAMPTON KICKS OUT!
Ross: Did I read that right?
Lawler: Yes you did! Hampton is the man!
Ice scraps Dan Hampton off of the ground. He walks him over to the corner. Ice beats him in a couple of times and then points up top!
Ross: The fans here in Toronto are electric!
Ice lifts up Dan Hampton and crotches him up on the top turnbuckle! Ice climbs up with him. Dan Hampton tries to fight back with body shots.
Styles: Any amount of offense seems to be useless against Ice! Hes like a man possessed!
ICE CALLS FOR THE RING SMASH TO THE FLOOR!
Lawler: What is Ice doing? Is he crazy?!?!?
BUT HAMPTON COUNTERS AND DOES A STANDING DROPKICK KNOCKING ICE FAR ACROSS THE RING! Hampton measures up Ice.....A PHOENIX SPLASH PAST THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! He makes the cover 1......2......3!
Winner and New EWA World Heavyweight Champion, Dan Hampton!
Styles: NO! NO! NO!!
Lawler: Weve got a new champion
Ross: You have to believe that its due to that DAMN Dudley!
Lawler: Shut up JR!
Hampton stands up as the blood is dripping from the cuts on his head. The referee hands him the belt, which as soon as he grabs becomes almost as blood soaked as Ice and Hampton. Dan Hampton pushes the referee aside and holds the belt up with two hands as the fans begins throwing things into the ring!
Ross: Once again that Dasterdly Dan Hampton has become the EWA World Champion!
The fans begin filing out of the arena! Dan Hampton falls out of the ring. Andrew Leigh helps him up!
Styles: What does this mean for Clocks Army? The ball is in the other court now!
Ross: And that's our show folks! We've got new tag-team champions, a new #1 contender and much much more! We'll see you on--
"Glycerine" blasts up to a big pop from the crowd. All of Andrew's entourage are stunned in the ring as to why the music is playing. Suddenly, Sirius walks out of the back carrying a microphone in his right hand, still looking bruised and bloodied from his earlier match. He has a grin on his face as he begins to speak.
Styles: What the?
Sirius: You know, ever since this damned federation started...we've been seeing Dan and Dave in all the damned main events. You @#%$s saunter in like you own the place and pretty much take up all the main time, boring the fans. I mean, come on. Who really wants to listen to some inbred hick stand in the middle of the ring, whining and bitching about how he's this and that and blah blah blah. Then you've got Dan, well who the @#%$ gives a damn about you? Ooohyou're EWA champion againwhatever. Now, I'm sure you're wondering what I'm out here for.
Ross: I think we'd all like to know that.
Lawler: JR, shut up!
Styles: But he already got his as kicked once tonight!
Leigh: Yeah, I think we'd all like to know that.
Sirius: Well, Andrew ol' buddy boy, I'm gonna tell ya. You see, in that very ring tonight..I'm going to go one on one with your little bitch Dan. (crowd pops). Now, you just know that if I'm going to have to beat Dan's little schoolgirl ass, it's just gotta be for the World Title!
Ross: What a challenge from Sirius? How will Dan respond?
Lawler: What do you think JR, that he's scared?
Styles: But Sirius already got his ass kicked once tonight!
Ross: Well King, I sure do. And you already said that Joey.
Lawler: I guess we'll just have to see.
Dan: (grabbing the mic from Andrew) You know, I'm going to have to think about that.
Dan begins to think for a second, then turns back to his Dave and Andrew. He looks at them with a big smile, mentions something to them and they all let out with laughter. He turns back to Sirius and begins to talk again.
Dan: Well, you knowafter a tough decision here I have decided to deny your challenge. Now get your ass to the back and stop embarrassing yourself.
Sirius: Dan, Dan, Danwhen will you learn? No, you see...I'm not asking for a World Title shot. I'm demanding for a World Title shot. And hell, to tell you the truth...there's nothing you can do about it.
Dan: Oh yeah, and why's that?
Sirius: Well, I'll just show you.
The EvoTron bears witness to a previous EWA show. A small caption reads "5/11 Onslaught" in the right corner. As the recording continues, it is visible that Dave, Dan, Commissioner Clock, and Sirius are all there. It slows down to a specific part as it has been made to specifically show a certain part of the show.
Gertner: Why the hell is he turning down a shot at being the first EWA champion?
Styles: Just shut up and listen, hell have a reason.
Clock: What? You arent fighting the match? Why not? I had it all planned out, a triple threat cage match. You wouldve torn em apart, you wouldve been the EWA champion!
Sirius: Your plan is tempting, but I know better than to step into the ring with two men, knowing that neither one of them has to pin me. Im not gonna waste my title shot on this. I'll save my title shot....
The recording cuts off there, leaving Sirius with a grin on his face.
Sirius: You see, that was the night that we crowned the first ever EWA World Champion. I had to sit back in the back and realize that I had passed up a chance that night for the World Title. But, that was then and now is now. And, like I saidthere's not a damned thing you can do about it. I'm calling in that title shot and I want it right now!
Ross: We're going to have a World Title shot, right now!
Lawler: But this isn't fairDan just fought!
Styles: And Sirius already got his ass kicked once tonight!
Ross: Shut him up!
Styles: But Dave Dudley rightfully won the #1 contendership, he has first dibs!
Lawler: But Sirius DOES have a point, I'm willing to give him that.
Dan looks over at Andrew with a pissed off look on his face, as if he is mad that Andrew can't stop this. He doesn't see Sirius slide into the ring, and hit him in the back of the head with a hard right fist as the referee signals for the match to start!
Ross: And here we go! An unannounced match for the World Title! This is unprecedented!
Sirius begins to lay lefts and rights, knocking Dan into the corner with a flurry of punches. He whips Dan into the opposite turnbuckle but Dan reverses and Sirius is sent hard into the turnbuckle. Dan attempts to capitalize on this by hammering Sirius with punches, but Sirius grabs Dan by the neck and slams him hard into the turnbuckle. He grabs him in a waistlock, and drops him with a modified Northern Lights suplex. He bridges back1...2..kick out!
Ross: Early offense by Sirius!
Lawler: He's trying to end this match quickly, and it's a good strategy.
Sirius gets up with a bit of frustration and picks up Dan by the head. Dan takes down his leg and drops Sirius down across the ring rope hard on his neck. He drags Sirius into the middle of the ring and locks in an ankle-lock submission. Sirius tries to fight out of it, wildly kicking his other leg but fails to break the hold. Sirius begins to bang on the mat in frustration. He drags himself, little by little, over to the ring ropes. The fans are actually cheering him on, much to the frustration of Dan. Sirius finally grabs the ropes and Dan is forced to break the hold. He goes right after that leg, stomping on it repeatedly!
Lawler: He's trying to soften up Sirius!
Styles: The man is already soft, he got clocked with a lacrosse stick for Gawd's sake!
Ross: He's got a good strategy here, It's much easier to win a match once you keep your opponent grounded!
Dan puts Sirius's leg on the bottom rope, then starts wrenching his leg on the rope. The referee gives the mandatory 5-count then orders Dan to stop. Dan lets go then grabs Sirius by the waist, then drops him with a German suplex.
Ross: Into the Void! He nailed Sirius with it!
Dan gets up and walks over to the crowd, playing to serious heel heat. He turns around only to find Sirius getting to his feet. He gives him a hard shot to the gut, then goes for a Dominator-type move.
Ross: If he nails this, it's over!
Dan has Sirius over his shoulder, and is about to slam him but Sirius slips out. He turns Dan around and nails him with a Diamond Cutter! He goes for the quick cover..1...2....kick out!
Lawler: Business is picking up now!
Ross: Hey! That's my saying!
Lawler: Deal with it. Just watch this slobbernocker.
Styles: He got you damned good, JR!
Sirius lifts Dan up and catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex. He follows up quickly, stomping Dan hard in the stomach. Just as this is happening, Andrew jumps on the apron, distracting the referee and Sirius alike! Sirius takes a big swing at Andrew, but Andrew ducks and jumps down. This gives Dan time to get to his knees and low-blow Sirius!
Ross: That's cheating!
Styles: Deal with it. The referee didn't see.
Lawler: Sirius will never pull this out, he should go home now!
Dan gets to his feet and gives Sirius a hard DDT. He picks him up and drags him over to the turnbuckle. He lifts him to the top turnbuckle. He lifts and drops Sirius with a release Northern Lights Suplex, dropping Sirius hard in the middle of the ring. He goes over to Sirius and goes for a quick pin ...1..2...kick out by Sirius!
Lawler: How the hell did he kick out of that?
Ross: My God, what punishment these two are taking!
Styles: I'm amazed they're still standing, considering what they've endured earlier tonight!
Dan signals for the end as he goes over to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top. He plays to the crowd a bit for heel heat then leaps off with his finisher Summer in the Hamptons 450 Splash! Sirius rolls out of the way, however, leaving Dan to fall hard to the mat!
Styles: Oh my Gawd! Nobody home!
Ross: He moved! How did he do that?
Lawler: How should I know? How the hell did he move?
Both men fall to the ground after the punishment they've endured. The referee begins to count to 10..1.2..3....4...5...Dan begins to get to his feet..6.7..Sirius begins to get to his feet...8Both men get to their feet as the referee stops counting. Dan rushes at Sirius and he gets whipped into the ropes, and runs right into a kick to the gut. Sirius picks him up and drops him down with a Sit-down Tiger-Bomb....Vendetta! He covers in a heap of exhaustion, as the fans count with him!1..2.......3!
Winner via pinfall and NEW EWA World Heavyweight Champion, Sirius
Ross: Oh my god! He won it! He won it!
Styles: How did he do it!?
Bobby Heenan races out from the back and throws on a headset.
Heenan: NO, NO, NO! Sorry, I just had to do that.
Sirius takes the belt from the referee and climbs the turnbuckle, holding up the belt to a huge pop from the crowd! He climbs down, just to see Dave and Andrew's shocked faces. He gives a slight grin as they climb in the ring. Rather than have a confrontation, Sirius climbs through the ring ropes with his new gold. Curses can be heard from Andrew and Dave as they try to revive Dan fully. "Glycerine" echoes throughout the arena as the PPV comes to a close.
Lawler: What's going to happen at Massive?
Ross: You know King, this changes the whole face of the EWA! What's going to happen? Folks, we have a new EWA champion... we'll see you at Massive!
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