Post by Dave Dangerously on Jun 5, 2008 12:05:18 GMT -6
THE CARD:
Live, Sunday August 18th 2002, Insane Championship Wrestling returns to Pay-Per-View!!!
ICW Presents
To Hell And Back: POWER STRUGGLE
Live, from Madison Square Garden, in New York City, New York!
It truely will be a power struggle, as we will see the following matches on the card:
TransContinental Championship
Andrew Leigh(c)
vs.
Carter Wilson
In a best out of 3 falls match! And each match will have it's own gimmick/stipulation!
Also,
The Ice
vs.
The One True Warrior
Stipulations yet to be determined, if any.
For the ICW Name Your Own title
Dan Hampton
vs.
Ethan Prophet
vs.
Seamus O'Hagan
vs.
Kayfabe
The winner gets the NYO title, and names it to their liking. The winner also gets a TransContinental Title shot!
Grudge Handicap Hardcore Match
Dave Dudley
vs.
ScottiePP7 and Healius
ICW World Heavyweight Championship
The first ever STRAP - LADDER MATCH!
Supa Sky(c)
vs.
Jeff Watson
And the main event:
Ten Man Tag Team Elimination
HELL IN A CELL
Team Dudley:
Dave Dudley
Jeff Watson
Kayfabe
Carter Wilson
Ethan Prophet
Team PP7:
ScottiePP7
Supa Sky
Dan Hampton
Andrew Leigh
Healius
This will truly determine once and for all the one true power in ICW!!!
Join us, as we kill EFWO, and reclaim the number one spot on PPV!!!!
You cant afford to miss ICW To Hell And Back: POWER STRUGGLE!!!
Card subject to change�
THE PPV:
"Spit" by Kittie plays...
In 2 countries(Canada paid the MAAAD money...albeit Canadian money.)
In 1 language, (screw French.)
To about 20 homes, or so, even considering this is a Pay-Per-View.
Reclaiming it's spot as the leader as the best in PPV...
And, the best at kicking EFWO's ass, because they suck...
It's THE ICW.
And it's the worldwide PINNACLE in Sports-Entertainment, and Pay-Per-View!
Memories are made, on ICW Pay-Per-Views.
This is where the legends are made, as well.
Because ICW is the leader, the best, he'll we're @#%$ demons.
And ICW is where the sh!t goes down.
So prepare, tonight...
As we go TO HELL, AND BACK...
To witness a Power Struggle.
Fireworks go off, inside of the sold out MADISON SQUARE GARDEN in New York, New York.
The massive stage set shows off the ICW logo, as huge pillars of pyro shoot out of it.
Sunna's "Power Struggle" plays.
The camera pans the crowd, and we such signs as:
"I WANT SOME Y2ACTION."
"KICK DUDLEY IN HIS PP...7!"
"THROW CHAIR HERE!"
"DAVE FOR 1ST ON EFED 25"
"BOYCOTT HOYAKILLAH"
"BOYCOTT EFWO"
"BOYCOTT BOY BANDS"
"BOYCOTT KALLISTA"
"ICW WANTS ITR!"
"POWER STRUGGLE? WHY DOESNT DAVE STICK HIS HEAD UP HIS ASS AND STRUGGLE FOR AIR?"
"HOW DID THAT GUY FIT ALL THAT ON THAT SIGN, AND HOW DID I FIT ALL OF THIS ON MY SIGN, FOR THAT MATTER?"
"WHO CARES, ITS ICW!!!"
The camera stops in front of the announce position:
Jim Ross: Hello again everyone, and welcome to MSG, the site of the 2nd TO HELL AND BACK!
the fans cheer more
Ross: Hello fans, I'm good ol' JR, Jim Ross, alongside my special broadcast colleagues, your ICW PPV announce team, Joey Styles, from Monday Mayhem, and making his return to ICW television...the one, the only... TONY SOPRANO!
Joey Styles: Thanks, JR, it's good to be here, hell, Mayhem is usually pre-empted or some @#%$. And I'm glad not to be sitting by The Silicon Toad. That guy smells like...a rotten turd.
Tony Soprano: Ey, yo, JOEEEY, James Ross...what's CRACKIN?? If I was back in Jersey, I can tell you what would be crackin. Some balls, because I'd be busting them. Hey, I'm a walking stereotype.
Ross: What?
Soprano: Nuthin. I'm just glad ta be here!
Ross: And we are glad to be in all of your homes, tonight, folks!
Styles: That's right, and tonight is going to be ONE helluva ride...TO HELL AND BACK!
Soprano: Ey, dat was a good little pun there.
Ross: Well fans, were ready to officially kick off our massive card here, with our first match-up!
Styles: Thats right, and our first match of the evening pits two of the larger in stature wrestlers in our company against each other.
Ross: Yes sir, The Ice and Masked Warrior definitely are no cruiserweights, and they definitely intend to bring a big bag o whoopin down unto each other!
Soprano: Ey, yewz guyz gots no respect for da little people, whassup wit dat?
Styles: Well, we dont mean to demean the small guys out there Tony, just to point out that Masked Warrior and Ice are pretty big fellas, thats all!
Soprano: Its Mr. Soprano to yew, fanboy. And doze guys aint s*hit to me, all yewz need is a baseball bat to deir knees and dey be down like a house of stickz.
Ross: You do have a point there Mr. Soprano, but Im afraid those tactics wont work in this match!
Styles: Yeah, the stipulation signed by Dave Dudley for this match makes it a Points Match.
Ross: Thats right Joey, a Points Match stipulates that there will be a 25 minute time limit for the match, first off.
Styles: Correct, and whoever collects the most points within said 25 minute square will be the official winner of this thing!
Ross: Points are collected via pinfall, submission, count-out or disqualification, so its basically a cut and dry old-fashioned wrestling display that will hinge on whoever is able to score the most victories within a 25-minute period.
Soprano: Dis soundza like a dumb thing, whassa matta wit da person dat came up wit dis?!?!
As Tony is finishing up insulting the idea behind this match, the lights in MSG dim and some fake dry ice-like smoke starts to filter its way into the place, and the crowd reacts with basic disinterest. Some pyrotechnic bolt of lightning crashes down in front of the entrance part of MSG, and The Halloween Theme begins to play throughout the arenaand again, the crowd reacts with a few spattered cheers and interest, but overall, no one cares. As the music continues for a while, a stupid spotlight shines down onto an area in front of the entrance to the arena, and shines directly on the One True Warrior, The Masked Warrior, sitting on some throneagain, nobody cares.
Ross: And here comes an ICW legend of the past, and an EFWO fixture, The Masked Warrior! Just listen to the awe-struck ovation hes receiving from this lively New York crowd!
Soprano: Awestruck? Who da hell you listenin to, dese people wuld ratha check out some charcoal briquette rap act den dis Masked Mullion!
Styles: What the hell, The Masked Warrior isnt black, Mr. Soprano, and thats just racist also!
Soprano: Ey how da hell you know he aint black ya limp-dicked bastad, hes GOT A FRIGGIN MASK!
Ross: Actually I think its just face paint, but regardless.
The Masked Warrior gets up from his stupid throne that belongs in the gay Theatre of Pain where all his mediocrity comes from, and heads down to the ring, trying to look all determined/brooding when really, nobody is even following his activities, theyre looking to buy some more beer, check out some loose Latin women, or tell their friend how cool Dave Dudley is in real life, since they met him at a comic book store. But nevertheless, The Masked Warrior heads into the ring, and soon after hes in the ring and standing there waiting, The Ice comes out of the entrance thing, with no music, no fanfare, no entrance video or anything (considering he never posted a f*ucking The Ice CD, the disappearing f*uck). The Ice is a big guy, and he strolls down the ramp much the same way Warrior did, looking menacing and what not.
Ross: And here comes the Masked Warriors competition here tonight, the one and only THE ICE!
Soprano: Wut da hell duz he got de before hiz name fo?! He some kinda badass or sumtin?
Styles: Apparently so Mr. Soprano, thats the trend in wrestling these days. EFWO has a bunch of people that do the same stupid bit with The before their name. And, strangely, much like The Ice, none of them are talented.
Ross: Well, The Ice does have some talent Joey, but he definitely has no morals, considering he aligned with Dave Dudley in his big return to wrestling.
Soprano: Ey, watch yo mouf about Mr. Dudley dere, yew tubby hick.
Ross: Fair enough. Anyway, The Ice is into the ring, and things are about to start off here, with To Hell and Backs very first match!
The Ice hops up into the ring, and looks over at The Masked Warrior, and the bell rings, and the crowd reacts with complete utter disinterest. The Ice and Warrior start to sort of circle around and each other, and The Ice stops in his tracks, and extends his hand for a test of the strength with the Warrior!
Ross: So The Ice wants to test himself up against the Warrior here!
Styles: Just enthralling.
The Warrior extends his hand as well, and the two hands meet between the two men, and before they actually become involved in the test of strength, The Ice lands a cheap shot knee to the Warriors gut, to which the crowd..snores. The Ice then delivers a few big open-hand chops to the Warriors chest, sending the Warrior stumbling back a bitbut as The Ice continues the chops, Warrior starts to pull the old Im a big lazy f*uck, let me no-sell the moves because of how gigantic and tough I am gag, and starts to just stand toe-to-toe with The Ice!
Ross: The Ice thinking he could work over The Warrior with some vicious chops to the upper body, but the Warrior really battling through here!
Styles: Man this crowd is really into this match, I mean, how can you not be?! Its just amazing entertainment.
Soprano: Lookz like two big ugly mothafacakz hittin each other a few timez, to me at least.
Finally, after the Warrior has no-sold a few more hits to the chest, he head-butts The Ice, causing him to fall back into the ring ropes! Warrior grabs a hold of The Ice, and wings him into the far ropes with an Irish whip. As The Ice storms back towards Warrior off the ropes, the Warrior lifts his big varicose-vein ridden leg off the mat and crushes The Ice with a big boot! The crowd.weeps at how pointless this is, then starts a BOR-ING, BOR-ING chant, that actually gets some people interested in things.
Ross: A SCINTILLATING big boot from The Masked Warrior! Wow, these two monsters are really going all out here to start our Pay-Per-View spectacular!
Styles: Yeah, listen JR, theyre even chanting The Warrior and Ices names together to show their appreciation.
Soprano:..wait, deir names are Boring? Both of dem?
Styles: Exactly, Mr. Soprano.
Soprano: Dose be some pretty stupid namez, dey must be Irish, da f*uckin potato-eatin micks.
Styles: If this is what our pay-per-view spectacular is going to be like JR, were, in a word, f*ucked.
Meanwhile, The Warrior continues his attack on the now-fallen Ice with a running leg drop. The Ice is still down, and Warrior gets back to his feet, as the crowds BOR-ING, BOR-ING chant intensifies and continues.but, before Warrior is able to continue, the silence (beyond the fans chants) of the match is broken as Closer begins to play throughout the arena!!!
Ross: What the..wait, what the hell?!?!
Styles: I think were about to have company here JR, in the form of The Hardcore Icon, Dave DUDLEY!!!!!
Closer continues for a short time, as Warrior continues to take it to The Ice in the ring, but the fans chants of boring change now to complete utter boos and hatred, as the camera switches to a wide shot still showing Warrior fighting the ICE in the ring, but also is able to capture Dave Dudley strutting out from the entrance area, donning one of his McMahon-esque power suits, but also carrying his old-school patented steel chair that put Pyro into a coma, with said barbed wire wrapped around it! He heads down to the ring, with both The Warrior and The Ice unaware of his presence!
Styles: Somehow, I dont think Dudley brought that steel chair for him to sit on, folks! This is NOT looking good for neither The Ice nor the Masked Warrior!
Ross: Dudley has NO PART of being out here damnit! This match is going just fine without him!
Soprano: Not it aint, dese guys SUCK!
Dudley reaches the ring.and dives in, as the boos intensify! The referee misses him at first, but then rushes over as The Masked Warrior continues to beat down The Ice unabashedly! As the referee heads towards Dudley, Dave sets himself and then absolutely CRUSHES the ref with the face of the steel chair! The crowd continues to boo! The chair is dented a bit, and Dave has to hesitate a moment to dig the barbed wire out of the refs skull, but then continues over to where Masked Warrior is still stomping a hole in The Ice. chair wrapped in barbed wire to the exposed back of the Masked Warrior!!! The Warrior doubles over in pain and falls to his knees in a heap!!!!
Ross: BY GOD THAT DAMN DUDLEY! THE WARRIOR HAS BEEN SLICED AND DICED BY THAT DAMN CHAIR!
Styles: HAH! He had it coming to him, thanks to this pathetic display of so-called wrestling he has put on!
Dudley lands one more chair shot to the Warriors back, fully sending the big man down face-first on the mat! However, Dudley isnt done.he tosses the chair down on the mat, and pulls Warrior up onto his feet, his back now bloodied.
Ross: What the hell else is there?!?!
Styles: Oh I know what JR, THE GREATEST MOVE IN WRESTLING HISTORY!
Dudley whips Warrior into the ropes.. flapjack, and then 4D!!!!!! The Dave Dudley Death Drop!!!!!!! Onto the barbed-wire-wrapped steel chair!
Ross: DAMN DUDLEY, THAT WAS HEINOUS! THE MASKED WARRIOR HAS BEEN DECIMATED!
Dudley hops up off the mat, and looks around and absorbs the utter hatred being poured down unto him by the NY crowd. Then, he looks over at The Ice, who is slowly and groggily recovering back to his feet after The Warrior worked him over for a while. Dudley looks at the Ice, then down at his steel chair which remains underneath the Masked Warriors crushed form, then over at The Ice again.
Soprano: Why aint dat guy runnin, hes in a bad spot, dats for sure.
Ross: Well, Dudley and The Ice are supposedly allies. I doubt Dave gets carried away here..
Dudley then, in a blinding flash, slides the chair out from underneath the Warrior. then rushes The Ice, and CRUSHES him with a steel chair shot of his own!!!!!!! Right to The Ices skull! The Ice falls FLAT on his back in a heap of humanity, completely floored!!!!
Styles: So much for their alliance! The ICE is melted! HAHA!
Dudley then pulls The Ice up again..whip to the ropes, followed by.. THE 4D!!!!!!! DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!!
Ross: MY GOD! DUDLEY HAS COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED, FIRST MASKED WARRIOR, NOW HIS OWN ALLY THE ICE! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!
Actual Match: No Contest
Styles: Thats not all, JR. Now hes got a microphone!
Dave Dudley: Little out of breath.Well folks..thatswhat happens when youre untalented, and unrightfully a part of the greatest pay-per-view event in the history of this business.
Styles: Hes got a real good point there, JR. Cant argue with that, The Masked Warrior and The Ice both The Sucked.
Dudley: I had to do a little cleaning up after these two f*ucks started to tarnish MY show, and also felt the need to make a little statement slash example for my upcoming matches here tonight, and to you unwashed, uncivilized thousands in attendance and watching at home tonight. IT always has been and always WILL be this way: IM NOT ONE TO BE F*UCKED WITH. Naturally, crowd boos and starts the standard Ass-hole, ass-hole chants.
Ross: I swear it, Dave Dudley is one of the most warped individuals Ive ever seen.
Soprano: Ey, but he knowz how da run a bizniss, dats for damn sure.
Dudley: That said, I intend to end two careers here tonight, besides the two Ive already ended just now. Scottie PP7 will have seen his last ICW arena and ICW show, and hell be left staring up at the rafters looking for ITR, after Ive laid him, his butt-boy Healius, and the rest of the f*ucks in his little group out. I will once and for all rid my company, the greatest company in the world, of that washed up strung out f*ucking junkie, and hopefully even send a few of his lackeys with him.
Styles: I definitely wouldnt want to be standing in Dudleys way tonight.
Dudley: Hell, maybe Ive even got a few tricks up my sleeve to further HUMILIATE and embarrass the bastards that decided they were too good for ME and for all that ICW stands for. Regardless, be certain, that tonight ICW is restored to its rightful being and greatness, thanks to no one but ME, THE.Hardcore Icon. I thank you very much.
Dudley throws down the microphone, and heads out of the ring as the boos continue/intensify.
Ross: My God, what a way to start this night folks. Dave Dudley with an appearance right off the bat, and he goes on to demolish both The Masked Warrior, and a member of his own TEAM, The Ice!
Styles: Like I said before, JR, this match shouldnt even have happened, those two guys are a joke.
Soprano: A fuckin tragedy, it iz.
Ross: Well fans, well be back after these messages.
~~~~~~Disclaimer~~~~~~~
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:11:59 PM): no commercials
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:01 PM): okay
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:02 PM): maybe a few
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:09 PM): put one at the end of the Masked Warrior/Ice match
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:10 PM): If so I'll add them in
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:18 PM): put something, put this if you have to, i'll say something funny:
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:28 PM): no
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:31 PM): you just put one in
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:34 PM): and I'll put one in
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:37 PM): well, it won't be funny
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:42 PM): yours will be
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:44 PM): Yeah it will
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:49 PM): how about I leave it empty, and you put something funny?
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:52 PM): just make fun of EFWO
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:55 PM): nah, you do it
DrDrELeiGh (8:13:11 PM): well, Ill try, but it's going to suck
~~~~~~~End of Disclaimer~~~~~~~~
Coming soon, to a theatre near you: EFWO: The Movie!, starring Brian K. Oxenreider, Robert Hagan, Kim-lista, Hoyakillah, Ethan Prophet, Christian Underwood, and a bunch of other faggots that eat s*hit!
Watch as Hoyakillah tries to hit on the entire womens division by talking about how smart he is and acting like he actually cares about anything they say or think, then, when shot down by women like Jade, or women in general, watch him run home and be consoled by the bean-bag resting, cat-licked nutsack of Ethan Prophet!
Witness Rob Hagan and Brian Oxenreiders competition over who can seduce more innocent, unwilling underage children with lollipops, trouser snakes and other nice behavior!
Then, see the ugly other side of their stories, and witness the rocky relationships with each mans significant other; Hagans misfortunes with the ever-dirty Kim-lista, and Oxenreiders heated affair with Scorpion Shikaku!
Plus, witness The Josh take up preaching and spreading the word of God, only to be excommunicated when they figure out hes gayer then most Catholic priests!
All this, and more, so be sure to check out EFWO: The Movie!, in theatres soon!
Why, you ask, would we advertise for EFWO: The Movie!, in an ICW PPV?
Well, because they suck, and because their movie would too.
Almost as much as this commercial.
Cameras return from the paid advertisements, but not to the ring or anything, instead to a backstage portion of MSG, specifically in one of the dressing rooms. In said dressing room lingers current ICW Trans Continental Champion, Andrew Leigh. Hes taping up his wrists and doing other pre-match things, the TC Title resting in a bag at the foot of his chair. The camera watches him look up from his own activity, and the camera shifts along with Leighs focus, to a shot of Scottie PP7, walking in. He shuts the door behind him.
Scottie PP7: Hey man, your match is up next, just wanted to wish you good luck, you know, and all that.
Andrew Leigh: Yeah thanks, Ill try to avoid tiring myself out so Im still fresh for the Hell in a Cell match later on.
ScottiePP7: Do whatever it takes, as long as you hold onto that title, and our plans come to fruition later on. Weve got all the stars aligned in our favor: the two titles are in our camp, we got Daves former major player on our side now, Healius is back and kicking ass, and.Im STILL Scottie PP7 DAMNIT..we cant go wrong.
Leigh: Yeah, it sure looks that way. Unless you get f*ucked over by someone we overlooked.
ScottiePP7: What? What, you have some info or something, anything we need to know?
Leigh: Yeah like Ive heard about any big f*ucking secret plans, all I was trying to do was take you off your big mental high about taking over ICW. You know, a little modesty slash humbleness never hurt.
PP7: Oh, I see. You got me a bit wired for a second there, I just want to make sure NOTHING stands in our way of becoming the one and ONLY force in ICW, from now on. Ill make my first example when me and Healius whip Dudleys ass, then well deliver the stake to Daves heart in the main event.
Leigh: Yeah, probably, considering Daves team sucks major Johnsonnot the one that used to go by J Pac, either. I mean, when your bragging about how Kayfabe and Carter Wilson are real bad ass and are going to wreck the place, then youre just unable to cope with the simple fact of your suckiness.
PP7: Basically. Anyway, just keep in mind not to hurt yourself in this 2/3 falls thing. Especially with the first matchs stipulation.
Leigh: OH, you know what it is?
PP7: Yeah, its a Weapons Match.
Leigh: Nice, right up my alley. Sucks to be Mr. Classically-Trained-Technical-Queer Carter Wilson, I dont know how proficient hell be with a f*ucking lead pipe.
PP7: Hah, right on, anyway, Im going to go get ready and talk to the rest of the troops, Ill catch up with you probably before the main event, and definitely afterwards to decide where we go to celebrate.
Leigh: Yeah, I gotta get going as well, you know, with the match and all. Later bater.
Scottie walks off camera, and Leigh grabs the TC Title and rises to his feet, and he walks off camera as well, and thats the last shot, before things head back to the announce table, and JR/Styles/Soprano.
Ross: Well fans, were back, and were ready for match number two on our docket here tonight.
Styles: Thats right, the greatest wrestler in history taking on some other unproven, unknown dork for the Trans Continental Title, in a 2 out of 3 falls encounter!
Soprano: Ey, I hearda rumahz dat yoo, Jo-ee boy, and dis Leigh guy were..buddy-buddy, in a queer way.in da LWN dayz. Anudder fuckin tragedy.
Styles: Those are just empty rumors, I happen to respect what Andrew Leigh has accomplished, thats all.
Ross: Anyway, this isnt an ordinary 2/3 Falls match either folks. Each match has a separate stipulation, and the 2 or 3 matches wont be directly following each other!
Styles: Knowing just how entertaining an Andrew Leigh match is, ICW has decided to spread both falls out around the other less interesting/entertaining encounters, in order to further boost buy rates.
Soprano: Da bozz knowz how to operate.
Ross: And as mentioned earlier by Scottie PP7, this first match of the series is going to be conducted under the guise of a Weapons Match.
Styles: Thats correct, but he managed to leave a very important part of the matchs gimmick out.
Ross: Unlike a normal Weapons Match, this match will not have any and every weapon at the wrestlers disposal. The actual weapons will be determined by a method exclusive to ICW..The Wheel-O-Weapons!!!
Camera cuts from the announce table to a shot of a large game show/Wheel of Fortune-esque (except that its upright) wheel, with pictures of numerous weapons and weaponry in multi-colored areas of the wheel. Standing next to it is some hot slutty-looking super-model piece of ass woman, who presumably is the one in charge of the spinning.
Styles: Right again, JR. The Wheel works like this: every 2 minutes, our lovely hostess over there will spin the wheel. Whatever the arrow at the top of the wheel is pointing to when the wheels spinning ends, that weapon will be given to whatever wrestler is able to receive it upon the spin. He can use it at will, and then the cycle is repeated until the match ends or until we run out of weapons.
Soprano: I tell ya what, I like dis idea of a matchbeatin people wit weapons, and watchin da attractive young gurl dat spinz da wheel.
Styles: Yeah but theres Pasta involved Tony, you cant get involved, you might pass out.
Weezers Take Control begins to play throughout the arena, and the crowd reacts with a big heel ovation as self-proclaimed technical master and greatest wrestler other then Dave Dudley EWA ever had, Carter Wilson steps out into MSG. Donned in his usual black and white ensemble, Carter stops momentarily to look over at the Wheel-O-Weapons, and then, shaking his head, heads down the ramp and into the ring, soaking in the boos from the crowd.
Ross: Carter Wilson has really had a long-lasting episode and feud with Andrew Leigh over the past few weeks, mostly centering around the Trans Continental Title.
Styles: Hell get probably his last chance to win the title and prove Leigh wrong about his assessments of Carters talent, or lack thereof, tonight!
Soprano: Ey dis guyz a pretty snappy dresser, hez got some class.
Ross: I wouldnt go far enough to say he has class, but hes a very capable competitor, thats for sure. It will be interesting to see how he adjusts to this type of match here, being a technical craftsman wont do him any good when theres weapons and overall carnage involved!
Wilson steps into the ring, circles it for a while, and waits as The Hives The Hives are Law, You Are Crime begins to play throughout the arena, and the crowd responds with a bigtime face pop for one of its own. Staten Island native and fan favorite, not to mention Trans Continental Champion Andrew Leigh steps out into the arena, and the already friendly crowd reaction intensifies at his appearance.
Styles: And here comes Carters competition, a man extremely apt in the hardcore side of wrestling who should benefit greatly from one of the falls of this match being weapons-exclusive!
Soprano: Staten Island, I gotz some associates dat work and live dere, a great place. Not quite Jersey, but nice.
Ross: Leigh looks and sounds as confident as ever that hell walk out of this place with that title belt still in his possession. And with the success hes had in ICW in his career, how can you doubt him?
Styles: I sure as heck dont.
Leigh walks up the ramp, his eyes wandering from the fans around ringside and Madison Square Garden in general, finally focusing in on Carter Wilson, who is prancing around a bit in preparation. Leigh holds his gaze now, locked on Carter, as he tosses his title belt aside and dives into the ring. The two men stare down, with Leigh spouting off a few words, probably not of encouragement or anything.
Ross: Well this match is all ready to go, except we need to spin the Wheel-O-Weapons to kick things off!
Camera shifts from Leigh and Wilson in-ring to a shot of the hot lady manning the W-O-W (that spells WOW, hee haw, fun-knee). The lady smiles, her white teeth all shiny and perfect, and spins the wheel..
it lands on..
New York City garbage can, garbage and homeless people included!!!!!!
Standing outside the ring is the 2nd referee of the match (the first naturally in his usual spot in-ring with the wrestlers), the 2nd ref being in charge of handing out the weapons. This 2nd referee looks through a pile of weaponry, and pulls out said steel NYC garbage can (even though most garbage cans in NYC are plastic now), and tosses it into the ring! The bell rings, and Andrew Leigh dives towards the can, and grabs a hold of it, before Carter is able to!
Ross: And things are under way! It looks like Andrew Leigh has managed to get a hold of the first weapon, and hes ready to go to work!
Leigh lifts the garbage can up, but as he does, Carter Wilson counters him with a wicked VanDaminator, kicking right into the garbage can, which has a resounding and probably painful impact upon landing right in Leighs face! Leigh hits the mat in a heap, and Wilson continues to go to work, lifting the garbage can up and bringing it crashing down across Leighs midsection! Leigh holds his midsection in pain, rolling up a bit on the mat, and Wilson keeps taking it to him, flipping Leigh over onto his stomach, locking an armbar on Leigh, and then flipping over onto the mat and forming a bridge, applying a great amount of pressure on Leighs arms!
Ross: Wilson locking on a devastating arm bar-bridge combination here, and theres about 30 seconds to go before a 2nd weapon is tossed into the ring!
Styles: They just throw them in, they dont hand them to anybody?!
Ross: Thats the rule, Joey, yes. Just thrown into the ring, or to wherever the two wrestlers happen to be at the moment.
Wilson eventually breaks the hold once he realizes Leigh isnt going to tap out, and the clock on the next weapon hits zero, and the crowd pops a bit! Camera quickly cuts to the Wheel-O-Weapons, and the hot lady spins again..
.glass nun chucks!
Theyre thrown into the ring, and Carter goes and picks them up, and does a little fancy show-off flipping of them. He then goes over to the fallen Leigh, and uses the chain piece connecting the two nun chucks as a device apt to strangle! He pulls the nun chucks back, causing the chain to dig into Leighs neck, in a choking manner! The referee rushes over and applies a standard ten-count, and at 10 Wilson holds it a little longer, and then breaks it.
Styles: That was highly illegal, and just outright unnecessary.
Soprano: Wen did da stupid gookz show up, ey? Nonechucks, dose slanty-eyed bastadz.
Ross: I must say, Ive never heard of nun chucks made out of glass.
Carter continues his beating of Leigh, now bashing the non-glass bottoms of the nun chucks against the back of Leighs head! Finally, he just sits Leigh up on the mat, and starts swinging the nun chucks! Then, after a moment of spinning it Ninja-style, he turns and crashes Leigh across the face with a swing of the nun chuck, causing the side that crashed into Leighs face to shatter, sending chards of glass all along the mat and leaving a few small cuts on Leighs face!
Styles: My GAWD! That was hardcore ECW style, man! How I miss the old days.
Carter, meanwhile, bends down and grabs a hold of one of Andrew Leighs left leg, and drapes Leighs foot over his shoulder, and then stands fully up, causing Leighs leg up to his knee to be bent across Wilsons shoulder! The clock, meanwhile is at about a minute remaining before another weapon is added to the mix!
Ross: Looks like Carter Wilson has a torture rack applied to one of Andrew Leighs legs!
Styles: Yeah, but it isnt very effective, Leigh preparing for a move of his own!
Like Styles said, Andrew Leigh is now squirming around a bit on the mat, trying to regain some of his strength. Finally, as Carter continues to bend his leg over his back and apply pressure to Leighs thigh/shin with his hand, Leigh musters up the strength to swing his free leg up around Carters neck.and pull Carter down HARD to the mat with a nifty counter Hurricanrana!
Ross: Impressive counter move there, Carter Wilson got sent down hard on his back with the impact of that Hurricanrana!
Styles: And 2 minutes are up, time for a new weapon!
Quick shot of the wheel, and the hot lady spins again!
..its..
a standard steel chair!
Referee near ringside tosses the steel chair up into the ring, and Andrew Leigh goes over and lifts it up. Carter, recovered from the Hurricanrana, rushes at Leigh and goes for a dropkick into the chair much like he did previously with the garbage can, but Leigh dodges out of the way this time, and as Carter lands on his back down on the mat, Leigh brings the chair crashing down unto to the top of Carters head!
Ross: My goodness, Andrew Leigh with a harsh chair to the top of Carters head!
Styles: And hes going for the pin!
1
2.
Carter is able to get a shoulder up!
Leigh looks down at Wilson, shakes his head a bit, and then moves the chair to an area which he likes. After hes done this, he pulls Carter off the mat, and hooks Carter, lifting him up into the air! Leigh, with Carter in hand, takes a few steps back, and then takes off, bringing Wilson crashing down onto the steel chair with a running powerslam! Leigh then goes for yet another pin!
1.
2
No! Carter kicks out yet again!
Styles: Man, the ref is extremely slow on that count! Meanwhile, Leigh continues to kick Carter ass!
Ross: It appears like were ready for yet another weapon!
The camera cuts to a shot of the wheel once again, as the attractive woman spins again
and its..
one of Kim-listas vibrating dildo numbers?!?!?!
WTF?!
And its USED?!?!
WHAT THE F*UCK!
..WITH HAGAN?!!?!?!!
OH MY GOD! THIS IS AWFUL!
Anyway, the referee, now wearing about 15 pairs of rubber gloves and a respirator, reaches over and tosses the big, black dildo into the ringLeigh looks over in astonishment as to what just landed in the ring, and he shakes his head. Nonetheless he gets up off the mat, and heads over to the top rope, bringing the steel chair that was flattened underneath Carter Wilson with him!
Styles: OH MY GAWD JR! Do you see that thing in the ring?!?!!?
Ross: Im afraid I do, Joey. It sure is disturbing, thats for sure!
Soprano: Ey, dat ting lookz dirty, it might be alive for all we know!
Styles: Not alive Mr. Soprano, but with about 5 million STDs, and numerous strands of pubic hair via Kim-listas massive afro-in-a-pool-rack bush.
Soprano: Dats just dirty, my kids might be watchin dis, whassamatta witchu?!?!
Ross: Hey Tony, I heard Joey talking before about how Meadow has a bush like that.
Soprano:.who did dis?dis guy next to me?!?!?
Styles: WHAT?! NO, MR. Soprano, thats a l--..
Soprano: So yew got wordz..aboutmy own daughta?!?! I SHOULD BLOW YA F*UCKIN BRAINZ OUT RIGHT NOW, I TELL YEW DAT MUCH, YOU FUCKEN SON OF A SLUT. YOU DONT EVA, EVA, SAY S*HIT ABOUT MY F*UCKIN FAMILY, YOU UNDASTAND DAT?!?! HUH?!?!
Styles: I never said ANYTHING SIR! But I apologize anyway, and I understand! Please, God, dont hurt me!
Meanwhile, Leigh has ascended to the top of the turnbuckle nearest to Carter Wilson, and hes got that steel chair up there with him. Carter Wilson has groggily risen to his feet, and is stumbling around close to where Leigh is lurking, waiting for the right moment..finally, Carter stops in his tracks facing Leigh, and Leigh springs off the top rope, extending the steel chair for a flying chair shot!.. BUT, Carter counters with a snap kick to Leighs gut, and then ducks out of the way before the chair can smack across his head!!!!
Ross: Carter Wilson able to counter that devastating chair shot from the top rope, and now hes got a chance to get back into this match here!
With Leigh now doubled over, and the chair resting adjacent to both men, Carter grabs a hold of Leigh from the side, and brings him crashing across said steel chair with a vicious Rock Bottom! Carter, not content with this, applies a standing head scissors to Leigh, grabs both of Leighs legs and hooks them with his arms, lifts Leigh up.and then sits down into an awkward double-leg piledriver, again right onto that steel chair, getting a lot of use!!!!
Styles: Damn, that one could have broken Leighs neck, that was just horrific!
Ross: Definitely an awkward maneuver, but damaging nonetheless!
Carter goes for a pin!..
1.
2..
Nope, Leigh manages to kick out!!
Meanwhile, the 2 minutes have expired, and the wheel is about to be spun again!
Ross: Lets hope the next weapon is a bit more useful then that dildo that remains untouched in the ring!
Styles: I wouldnt touch that disease-ridden thing if someone paid me!
Wheel is spunand its
The toilet made up of the melted EFWO World Title!!!!!!!
Ross: Well this is a blast from the past. The same toilet that was formed thanks to the melted-down EFWO World Title back in the old ICW days, fitting.
Styles: EFWO still eats s*hit, so I guess its fitting.
The poor referee, he has to lift the toilet and slowly roll it into the ring, which he does, after probably breaking his back and what not. Anyway, Carter Wilson sees an opportunity with the toilet, and he heads over to it, carefully avoiding the Kim-lista dildo, and rolls it closer to where Leigh is laid out!
Ross: What the hell is Carter Wilson cooking up here?!
Styles: Whatever it is, it isnt good for Leigh, thats for sure!
Carter then goes and pulls the down and out Leigh up off the mat.he lets Leigh stumble around a bit, but then locks on a Chicken wing combined with a face lock! He holds the submission move in place for a while, but then he lifts Leigh up off the mat, and brings the back of his head crashing RIGHT ONTO THE SIDE OF THE TOILET!!! The move he calls the Bridge of Sighs, which leads into a pinfall!!!!
1.
2
SOMEHOW, Leigh pushes and kicks his way out of the bridge!!!!!!!!
Ross: My goodness, Leigh is extremely fortune to wiggle out of that one, that was a hellacious maneuver from Carter Wilson!
Styles: Hes cheating in there, Carter Wilson! That bastard, he cant do that kind of thing, not on a toilet!
Carter is in shock as to how Leigh managed to kick out of his move, but Leigh is now lying draped across the toilet, in a heap of pain and what not. Carter, though, shakes his head, rises to his feet, and heads over to the top rope!
Ross: Carter Wilson setting up for a high-risk maneuver here!
Styles: Not much room for error! If he messes up, then he lands face-first into a toilet, but if he connects, this thing might be over!
Carter Wilson reaches the top rope, and balances himself up there.he looks around for a moment..then flies off, extending and attempting a flying frog splash!!!!.
but of course, Andrew Leigh manages to slide out of the way, naturally, and Carter Wilson lands chest/stomach-first right against the porcelain/EFWO World Title toilet!!! Carter is all in pain, thanks to landing gut-first on a toilet! Plus, the Wheel is ready for a new weapon.
. .a blender!
Ross: Well Carter Wilson came up completely empty! And now BOTH competitors are out!
Styles: And now theres a blender involved! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
Leigh and Carter are both basically unmoving.but Leigh is starting to slowly recover! After a few moments of the crowd cheering to try and get Leigh back into the match, it appears that both men are now closing in on regaining to their feet!..and they both are in fact eventually up!
Ross: SO both competitors are back up, things are about to heat up!
Carter rushes towards the blender, now in the ring, but before he reaches it, Leigh CRUSHES Carter with a desperation running spear! Carter hits the mat in a heap, and Leigh slowly recovers once again.and goes over and picks up the blender! He uses the cord first to try to choke out Carter Wilson, but the referee breaks him up from doing it for a real extended amount of time. Then, he simply bashes the blender against the back of Carters head! Carter, down to begin with, hits with an even bigger thump then he did before!
Styles: Leigh really taking control now! Time is getting short for Carter Wilson!
Carter isnt moving around much, and Leigh picks him up.he kicks him in the gut to double him over, and then locks on a double-underhook!.
Ross: Here comes one of his moves! This could be over here!
.Leigh lifts him up onto his shoulder, AND then brings Carter crashing down, face-first..ONTO THE TOILET WITH AN INTRODUCING THE METRIC SYSTEM IN TIME DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK FACE-FIRST BOMB!!!!!!
Soprano: He jus got WHACKED!
Carter is out cold pretty much.and Leigh is ready to go for the pin!..but he looks around at the cheering crowd, and then down.at the dildo, still lying in the ring from its original entrance!
Ross: I think he should be going for a pin here, this waste of time could be a mistake!
Styles: Oh god, what the hell, dont TOUCH THAT THING!
Leigh, as Styles hinted to, heads over to the vibrating Kim-lista concoction (stress the coc- part), and holding his nose picks it up, only using his finger tips.and heads over to the fallen Carter Wilson!
Ross: Wait a second.oh no, dear God! PLEASE, DONT DO THAT!
..and Leigh, in a quick motion, opens Carters mouth.. and tosses the dildo in there!
Styles: OHMY GAWD!!!!!!!
Soprano: Ey, how duz dat sayin go?!
Ross: THAT IS JUST HEINOUS, MY LORD!
Styles: It has now become a reality.the d*ick is in YOUR mouth, Carter Wilson.
Leigh wipes his finger tips on his shirt, as the dildo remains in Carters mouth, and Leigh goes ahead, pulls him away from the toiletand locks on THE MODERN AGE reverse Indian Deathlock!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carter Wilson, ready to tap out?!?!.
Hes..almost.
Not quite tappingOUCH IT HURTS
HE
TAPS!!! Carter Wilson taps out!
Winner, via submission, and leading 1-0, Andrew Leigh!!!!!!!!
Ross: Oh hell yes! Andrew Leigh with a big victory, and he takes the lead in the series right off the bat!
Styles: MY goodness, all Carter Wilson gets to show for it is a d*ick in his mouth and a bruised ego!
Soprano: Ey, dat wuz jus wrong, wut kinda sick animal iz dis Leigh guy anyway, ey?!
Leigh walks to the back, as the referee calmly pulls the dildo out of Carter Wilsons mouth.
Ross: Well, how do we follow that? Anyway, now it's time for what could prove to be an interesting match. It's the 4 way match for the ICW Name Your Own Title...and this is a very interesting concept, Joey, would you care to explain?
Live, Sunday August 18th 2002, Insane Championship Wrestling returns to Pay-Per-View!!!
ICW Presents
To Hell And Back: POWER STRUGGLE
Live, from Madison Square Garden, in New York City, New York!
It truely will be a power struggle, as we will see the following matches on the card:
TransContinental Championship
Andrew Leigh(c)
vs.
Carter Wilson
In a best out of 3 falls match! And each match will have it's own gimmick/stipulation!
Also,
The Ice
vs.
The One True Warrior
Stipulations yet to be determined, if any.
For the ICW Name Your Own title
Dan Hampton
vs.
Ethan Prophet
vs.
Seamus O'Hagan
vs.
Kayfabe
The winner gets the NYO title, and names it to their liking. The winner also gets a TransContinental Title shot!
Grudge Handicap Hardcore Match
Dave Dudley
vs.
ScottiePP7 and Healius
ICW World Heavyweight Championship
The first ever STRAP - LADDER MATCH!
Supa Sky(c)
vs.
Jeff Watson
And the main event:
Ten Man Tag Team Elimination
HELL IN A CELL
Team Dudley:
Dave Dudley
Jeff Watson
Kayfabe
Carter Wilson
Ethan Prophet
Team PP7:
ScottiePP7
Supa Sky
Dan Hampton
Andrew Leigh
Healius
This will truly determine once and for all the one true power in ICW!!!
Join us, as we kill EFWO, and reclaim the number one spot on PPV!!!!
You cant afford to miss ICW To Hell And Back: POWER STRUGGLE!!!
Card subject to change�
THE PPV:
"Spit" by Kittie plays...
In 2 countries(Canada paid the MAAAD money...albeit Canadian money.)
In 1 language, (screw French.)
To about 20 homes, or so, even considering this is a Pay-Per-View.
Reclaiming it's spot as the leader as the best in PPV...
And, the best at kicking EFWO's ass, because they suck...
It's THE ICW.
And it's the worldwide PINNACLE in Sports-Entertainment, and Pay-Per-View!
Memories are made, on ICW Pay-Per-Views.
This is where the legends are made, as well.
Because ICW is the leader, the best, he'll we're @#%$ demons.
And ICW is where the sh!t goes down.
So prepare, tonight...
As we go TO HELL, AND BACK...
To witness a Power Struggle.
Insane Championship Wrestling Presents
To Hell and Back: POWER STRUGGLE
Live, and ONLY on Pay-Per-View!!!
To Hell and Back: POWER STRUGGLE
Live, and ONLY on Pay-Per-View!!!
Fireworks go off, inside of the sold out MADISON SQUARE GARDEN in New York, New York.
The massive stage set shows off the ICW logo, as huge pillars of pyro shoot out of it.
Sunna's "Power Struggle" plays.
The camera pans the crowd, and we such signs as:
"I WANT SOME Y2ACTION."
"KICK DUDLEY IN HIS PP...7!"
"THROW CHAIR HERE!"
"DAVE FOR 1ST ON EFED 25"
"BOYCOTT HOYAKILLAH"
"BOYCOTT EFWO"
"BOYCOTT BOY BANDS"
"BOYCOTT KALLISTA"
"ICW WANTS ITR!"
"POWER STRUGGLE? WHY DOESNT DAVE STICK HIS HEAD UP HIS ASS AND STRUGGLE FOR AIR?"
"HOW DID THAT GUY FIT ALL THAT ON THAT SIGN, AND HOW DID I FIT ALL OF THIS ON MY SIGN, FOR THAT MATTER?"
"WHO CARES, ITS ICW!!!"
The camera stops in front of the announce position:
Jim Ross: Hello again everyone, and welcome to MSG, the site of the 2nd TO HELL AND BACK!
the fans cheer more
Ross: Hello fans, I'm good ol' JR, Jim Ross, alongside my special broadcast colleagues, your ICW PPV announce team, Joey Styles, from Monday Mayhem, and making his return to ICW television...the one, the only... TONY SOPRANO!
Joey Styles: Thanks, JR, it's good to be here, hell, Mayhem is usually pre-empted or some @#%$. And I'm glad not to be sitting by The Silicon Toad. That guy smells like...a rotten turd.
Tony Soprano: Ey, yo, JOEEEY, James Ross...what's CRACKIN?? If I was back in Jersey, I can tell you what would be crackin. Some balls, because I'd be busting them. Hey, I'm a walking stereotype.
Ross: What?
Soprano: Nuthin. I'm just glad ta be here!
Ross: And we are glad to be in all of your homes, tonight, folks!
Styles: That's right, and tonight is going to be ONE helluva ride...TO HELL AND BACK!
Soprano: Ey, dat was a good little pun there.
Ross: Well fans, were ready to officially kick off our massive card here, with our first match-up!
Styles: Thats right, and our first match of the evening pits two of the larger in stature wrestlers in our company against each other.
Ross: Yes sir, The Ice and Masked Warrior definitely are no cruiserweights, and they definitely intend to bring a big bag o whoopin down unto each other!
Soprano: Ey, yewz guyz gots no respect for da little people, whassup wit dat?
Styles: Well, we dont mean to demean the small guys out there Tony, just to point out that Masked Warrior and Ice are pretty big fellas, thats all!
Soprano: Its Mr. Soprano to yew, fanboy. And doze guys aint s*hit to me, all yewz need is a baseball bat to deir knees and dey be down like a house of stickz.
Ross: You do have a point there Mr. Soprano, but Im afraid those tactics wont work in this match!
Styles: Yeah, the stipulation signed by Dave Dudley for this match makes it a Points Match.
Ross: Thats right Joey, a Points Match stipulates that there will be a 25 minute time limit for the match, first off.
Styles: Correct, and whoever collects the most points within said 25 minute square will be the official winner of this thing!
Ross: Points are collected via pinfall, submission, count-out or disqualification, so its basically a cut and dry old-fashioned wrestling display that will hinge on whoever is able to score the most victories within a 25-minute period.
Soprano: Dis soundza like a dumb thing, whassa matta wit da person dat came up wit dis?!?!
As Tony is finishing up insulting the idea behind this match, the lights in MSG dim and some fake dry ice-like smoke starts to filter its way into the place, and the crowd reacts with basic disinterest. Some pyrotechnic bolt of lightning crashes down in front of the entrance part of MSG, and The Halloween Theme begins to play throughout the arenaand again, the crowd reacts with a few spattered cheers and interest, but overall, no one cares. As the music continues for a while, a stupid spotlight shines down onto an area in front of the entrance to the arena, and shines directly on the One True Warrior, The Masked Warrior, sitting on some throneagain, nobody cares.
Ross: And here comes an ICW legend of the past, and an EFWO fixture, The Masked Warrior! Just listen to the awe-struck ovation hes receiving from this lively New York crowd!
Soprano: Awestruck? Who da hell you listenin to, dese people wuld ratha check out some charcoal briquette rap act den dis Masked Mullion!
Styles: What the hell, The Masked Warrior isnt black, Mr. Soprano, and thats just racist also!
Soprano: Ey how da hell you know he aint black ya limp-dicked bastad, hes GOT A FRIGGIN MASK!
Ross: Actually I think its just face paint, but regardless.
The Masked Warrior gets up from his stupid throne that belongs in the gay Theatre of Pain where all his mediocrity comes from, and heads down to the ring, trying to look all determined/brooding when really, nobody is even following his activities, theyre looking to buy some more beer, check out some loose Latin women, or tell their friend how cool Dave Dudley is in real life, since they met him at a comic book store. But nevertheless, The Masked Warrior heads into the ring, and soon after hes in the ring and standing there waiting, The Ice comes out of the entrance thing, with no music, no fanfare, no entrance video or anything (considering he never posted a f*ucking The Ice CD, the disappearing f*uck). The Ice is a big guy, and he strolls down the ramp much the same way Warrior did, looking menacing and what not.
Ross: And here comes the Masked Warriors competition here tonight, the one and only THE ICE!
Soprano: Wut da hell duz he got de before hiz name fo?! He some kinda badass or sumtin?
Styles: Apparently so Mr. Soprano, thats the trend in wrestling these days. EFWO has a bunch of people that do the same stupid bit with The before their name. And, strangely, much like The Ice, none of them are talented.
Ross: Well, The Ice does have some talent Joey, but he definitely has no morals, considering he aligned with Dave Dudley in his big return to wrestling.
Soprano: Ey, watch yo mouf about Mr. Dudley dere, yew tubby hick.
Ross: Fair enough. Anyway, The Ice is into the ring, and things are about to start off here, with To Hell and Backs very first match!
The Ice hops up into the ring, and looks over at The Masked Warrior, and the bell rings, and the crowd reacts with complete utter disinterest. The Ice and Warrior start to sort of circle around and each other, and The Ice stops in his tracks, and extends his hand for a test of the strength with the Warrior!
Ross: So The Ice wants to test himself up against the Warrior here!
Styles: Just enthralling.
The Warrior extends his hand as well, and the two hands meet between the two men, and before they actually become involved in the test of strength, The Ice lands a cheap shot knee to the Warriors gut, to which the crowd..snores. The Ice then delivers a few big open-hand chops to the Warriors chest, sending the Warrior stumbling back a bitbut as The Ice continues the chops, Warrior starts to pull the old Im a big lazy f*uck, let me no-sell the moves because of how gigantic and tough I am gag, and starts to just stand toe-to-toe with The Ice!
Ross: The Ice thinking he could work over The Warrior with some vicious chops to the upper body, but the Warrior really battling through here!
Styles: Man this crowd is really into this match, I mean, how can you not be?! Its just amazing entertainment.
Soprano: Lookz like two big ugly mothafacakz hittin each other a few timez, to me at least.
Finally, after the Warrior has no-sold a few more hits to the chest, he head-butts The Ice, causing him to fall back into the ring ropes! Warrior grabs a hold of The Ice, and wings him into the far ropes with an Irish whip. As The Ice storms back towards Warrior off the ropes, the Warrior lifts his big varicose-vein ridden leg off the mat and crushes The Ice with a big boot! The crowd.weeps at how pointless this is, then starts a BOR-ING, BOR-ING chant, that actually gets some people interested in things.
Ross: A SCINTILLATING big boot from The Masked Warrior! Wow, these two monsters are really going all out here to start our Pay-Per-View spectacular!
Styles: Yeah, listen JR, theyre even chanting The Warrior and Ices names together to show their appreciation.
Soprano:..wait, deir names are Boring? Both of dem?
Styles: Exactly, Mr. Soprano.
Soprano: Dose be some pretty stupid namez, dey must be Irish, da f*uckin potato-eatin micks.
Styles: If this is what our pay-per-view spectacular is going to be like JR, were, in a word, f*ucked.
Meanwhile, The Warrior continues his attack on the now-fallen Ice with a running leg drop. The Ice is still down, and Warrior gets back to his feet, as the crowds BOR-ING, BOR-ING chant intensifies and continues.but, before Warrior is able to continue, the silence (beyond the fans chants) of the match is broken as Closer begins to play throughout the arena!!!
Ross: What the..wait, what the hell?!?!
Styles: I think were about to have company here JR, in the form of The Hardcore Icon, Dave DUDLEY!!!!!
Closer continues for a short time, as Warrior continues to take it to The Ice in the ring, but the fans chants of boring change now to complete utter boos and hatred, as the camera switches to a wide shot still showing Warrior fighting the ICE in the ring, but also is able to capture Dave Dudley strutting out from the entrance area, donning one of his McMahon-esque power suits, but also carrying his old-school patented steel chair that put Pyro into a coma, with said barbed wire wrapped around it! He heads down to the ring, with both The Warrior and The Ice unaware of his presence!
Styles: Somehow, I dont think Dudley brought that steel chair for him to sit on, folks! This is NOT looking good for neither The Ice nor the Masked Warrior!
Ross: Dudley has NO PART of being out here damnit! This match is going just fine without him!
Soprano: Not it aint, dese guys SUCK!
Dudley reaches the ring.and dives in, as the boos intensify! The referee misses him at first, but then rushes over as The Masked Warrior continues to beat down The Ice unabashedly! As the referee heads towards Dudley, Dave sets himself and then absolutely CRUSHES the ref with the face of the steel chair! The crowd continues to boo! The chair is dented a bit, and Dave has to hesitate a moment to dig the barbed wire out of the refs skull, but then continues over to where Masked Warrior is still stomping a hole in The Ice. chair wrapped in barbed wire to the exposed back of the Masked Warrior!!! The Warrior doubles over in pain and falls to his knees in a heap!!!!
Ross: BY GOD THAT DAMN DUDLEY! THE WARRIOR HAS BEEN SLICED AND DICED BY THAT DAMN CHAIR!
Styles: HAH! He had it coming to him, thanks to this pathetic display of so-called wrestling he has put on!
Dudley lands one more chair shot to the Warriors back, fully sending the big man down face-first on the mat! However, Dudley isnt done.he tosses the chair down on the mat, and pulls Warrior up onto his feet, his back now bloodied.
Ross: What the hell else is there?!?!
Styles: Oh I know what JR, THE GREATEST MOVE IN WRESTLING HISTORY!
Dudley whips Warrior into the ropes.. flapjack, and then 4D!!!!!! The Dave Dudley Death Drop!!!!!!! Onto the barbed-wire-wrapped steel chair!
Ross: DAMN DUDLEY, THAT WAS HEINOUS! THE MASKED WARRIOR HAS BEEN DECIMATED!
Dudley hops up off the mat, and looks around and absorbs the utter hatred being poured down unto him by the NY crowd. Then, he looks over at The Ice, who is slowly and groggily recovering back to his feet after The Warrior worked him over for a while. Dudley looks at the Ice, then down at his steel chair which remains underneath the Masked Warriors crushed form, then over at The Ice again.
Soprano: Why aint dat guy runnin, hes in a bad spot, dats for sure.
Ross: Well, Dudley and The Ice are supposedly allies. I doubt Dave gets carried away here..
Dudley then, in a blinding flash, slides the chair out from underneath the Warrior. then rushes The Ice, and CRUSHES him with a steel chair shot of his own!!!!!!! Right to The Ices skull! The Ice falls FLAT on his back in a heap of humanity, completely floored!!!!
Styles: So much for their alliance! The ICE is melted! HAHA!
Dudley then pulls The Ice up again..whip to the ropes, followed by.. THE 4D!!!!!!! DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!!
Ross: MY GOD! DUDLEY HAS COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED, FIRST MASKED WARRIOR, NOW HIS OWN ALLY THE ICE! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!
Actual Match: No Contest
Styles: Thats not all, JR. Now hes got a microphone!
Dave Dudley: Little out of breath.Well folks..thatswhat happens when youre untalented, and unrightfully a part of the greatest pay-per-view event in the history of this business.
Styles: Hes got a real good point there, JR. Cant argue with that, The Masked Warrior and The Ice both The Sucked.
Dudley: I had to do a little cleaning up after these two f*ucks started to tarnish MY show, and also felt the need to make a little statement slash example for my upcoming matches here tonight, and to you unwashed, uncivilized thousands in attendance and watching at home tonight. IT always has been and always WILL be this way: IM NOT ONE TO BE F*UCKED WITH. Naturally, crowd boos and starts the standard Ass-hole, ass-hole chants.
Ross: I swear it, Dave Dudley is one of the most warped individuals Ive ever seen.
Soprano: Ey, but he knowz how da run a bizniss, dats for damn sure.
Dudley: That said, I intend to end two careers here tonight, besides the two Ive already ended just now. Scottie PP7 will have seen his last ICW arena and ICW show, and hell be left staring up at the rafters looking for ITR, after Ive laid him, his butt-boy Healius, and the rest of the f*ucks in his little group out. I will once and for all rid my company, the greatest company in the world, of that washed up strung out f*ucking junkie, and hopefully even send a few of his lackeys with him.
Styles: I definitely wouldnt want to be standing in Dudleys way tonight.
Dudley: Hell, maybe Ive even got a few tricks up my sleeve to further HUMILIATE and embarrass the bastards that decided they were too good for ME and for all that ICW stands for. Regardless, be certain, that tonight ICW is restored to its rightful being and greatness, thanks to no one but ME, THE.Hardcore Icon. I thank you very much.
Dudley throws down the microphone, and heads out of the ring as the boos continue/intensify.
Ross: My God, what a way to start this night folks. Dave Dudley with an appearance right off the bat, and he goes on to demolish both The Masked Warrior, and a member of his own TEAM, The Ice!
Styles: Like I said before, JR, this match shouldnt even have happened, those two guys are a joke.
Soprano: A fuckin tragedy, it iz.
Ross: Well fans, well be back after these messages.
~~~~~~Disclaimer~~~~~~~
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:11:59 PM): no commercials
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:01 PM): okay
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:02 PM): maybe a few
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:09 PM): put one at the end of the Masked Warrior/Ice match
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:10 PM): If so I'll add them in
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:18 PM): put something, put this if you have to, i'll say something funny:
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:28 PM): no
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:31 PM): you just put one in
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:34 PM): and I'll put one in
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:37 PM): well, it won't be funny
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:42 PM): yours will be
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:44 PM): Yeah it will
DrDrELeiGh (8:12:49 PM): how about I leave it empty, and you put something funny?
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:52 PM): just make fun of EFWO
DaVE DuDLeY 632 (8:12:55 PM): nah, you do it
DrDrELeiGh (8:13:11 PM): well, Ill try, but it's going to suck
~~~~~~~End of Disclaimer~~~~~~~~
Coming soon, to a theatre near you: EFWO: The Movie!, starring Brian K. Oxenreider, Robert Hagan, Kim-lista, Hoyakillah, Ethan Prophet, Christian Underwood, and a bunch of other faggots that eat s*hit!
Watch as Hoyakillah tries to hit on the entire womens division by talking about how smart he is and acting like he actually cares about anything they say or think, then, when shot down by women like Jade, or women in general, watch him run home and be consoled by the bean-bag resting, cat-licked nutsack of Ethan Prophet!
Witness Rob Hagan and Brian Oxenreiders competition over who can seduce more innocent, unwilling underage children with lollipops, trouser snakes and other nice behavior!
Then, see the ugly other side of their stories, and witness the rocky relationships with each mans significant other; Hagans misfortunes with the ever-dirty Kim-lista, and Oxenreiders heated affair with Scorpion Shikaku!
Plus, witness The Josh take up preaching and spreading the word of God, only to be excommunicated when they figure out hes gayer then most Catholic priests!
All this, and more, so be sure to check out EFWO: The Movie!, in theatres soon!
Why, you ask, would we advertise for EFWO: The Movie!, in an ICW PPV?
Well, because they suck, and because their movie would too.
Almost as much as this commercial.
Cameras return from the paid advertisements, but not to the ring or anything, instead to a backstage portion of MSG, specifically in one of the dressing rooms. In said dressing room lingers current ICW Trans Continental Champion, Andrew Leigh. Hes taping up his wrists and doing other pre-match things, the TC Title resting in a bag at the foot of his chair. The camera watches him look up from his own activity, and the camera shifts along with Leighs focus, to a shot of Scottie PP7, walking in. He shuts the door behind him.
Scottie PP7: Hey man, your match is up next, just wanted to wish you good luck, you know, and all that.
Andrew Leigh: Yeah thanks, Ill try to avoid tiring myself out so Im still fresh for the Hell in a Cell match later on.
ScottiePP7: Do whatever it takes, as long as you hold onto that title, and our plans come to fruition later on. Weve got all the stars aligned in our favor: the two titles are in our camp, we got Daves former major player on our side now, Healius is back and kicking ass, and.Im STILL Scottie PP7 DAMNIT..we cant go wrong.
Leigh: Yeah, it sure looks that way. Unless you get f*ucked over by someone we overlooked.
ScottiePP7: What? What, you have some info or something, anything we need to know?
Leigh: Yeah like Ive heard about any big f*ucking secret plans, all I was trying to do was take you off your big mental high about taking over ICW. You know, a little modesty slash humbleness never hurt.
PP7: Oh, I see. You got me a bit wired for a second there, I just want to make sure NOTHING stands in our way of becoming the one and ONLY force in ICW, from now on. Ill make my first example when me and Healius whip Dudleys ass, then well deliver the stake to Daves heart in the main event.
Leigh: Yeah, probably, considering Daves team sucks major Johnsonnot the one that used to go by J Pac, either. I mean, when your bragging about how Kayfabe and Carter Wilson are real bad ass and are going to wreck the place, then youre just unable to cope with the simple fact of your suckiness.
PP7: Basically. Anyway, just keep in mind not to hurt yourself in this 2/3 falls thing. Especially with the first matchs stipulation.
Leigh: OH, you know what it is?
PP7: Yeah, its a Weapons Match.
Leigh: Nice, right up my alley. Sucks to be Mr. Classically-Trained-Technical-Queer Carter Wilson, I dont know how proficient hell be with a f*ucking lead pipe.
PP7: Hah, right on, anyway, Im going to go get ready and talk to the rest of the troops, Ill catch up with you probably before the main event, and definitely afterwards to decide where we go to celebrate.
Leigh: Yeah, I gotta get going as well, you know, with the match and all. Later bater.
Scottie walks off camera, and Leigh grabs the TC Title and rises to his feet, and he walks off camera as well, and thats the last shot, before things head back to the announce table, and JR/Styles/Soprano.
Ross: Well fans, were back, and were ready for match number two on our docket here tonight.
Styles: Thats right, the greatest wrestler in history taking on some other unproven, unknown dork for the Trans Continental Title, in a 2 out of 3 falls encounter!
Soprano: Ey, I hearda rumahz dat yoo, Jo-ee boy, and dis Leigh guy were..buddy-buddy, in a queer way.in da LWN dayz. Anudder fuckin tragedy.
Styles: Those are just empty rumors, I happen to respect what Andrew Leigh has accomplished, thats all.
Ross: Anyway, this isnt an ordinary 2/3 Falls match either folks. Each match has a separate stipulation, and the 2 or 3 matches wont be directly following each other!
Styles: Knowing just how entertaining an Andrew Leigh match is, ICW has decided to spread both falls out around the other less interesting/entertaining encounters, in order to further boost buy rates.
Soprano: Da bozz knowz how to operate.
Ross: And as mentioned earlier by Scottie PP7, this first match of the series is going to be conducted under the guise of a Weapons Match.
Styles: Thats correct, but he managed to leave a very important part of the matchs gimmick out.
Ross: Unlike a normal Weapons Match, this match will not have any and every weapon at the wrestlers disposal. The actual weapons will be determined by a method exclusive to ICW..The Wheel-O-Weapons!!!
Camera cuts from the announce table to a shot of a large game show/Wheel of Fortune-esque (except that its upright) wheel, with pictures of numerous weapons and weaponry in multi-colored areas of the wheel. Standing next to it is some hot slutty-looking super-model piece of ass woman, who presumably is the one in charge of the spinning.
Styles: Right again, JR. The Wheel works like this: every 2 minutes, our lovely hostess over there will spin the wheel. Whatever the arrow at the top of the wheel is pointing to when the wheels spinning ends, that weapon will be given to whatever wrestler is able to receive it upon the spin. He can use it at will, and then the cycle is repeated until the match ends or until we run out of weapons.
Soprano: I tell ya what, I like dis idea of a matchbeatin people wit weapons, and watchin da attractive young gurl dat spinz da wheel.
Styles: Yeah but theres Pasta involved Tony, you cant get involved, you might pass out.
Weezers Take Control begins to play throughout the arena, and the crowd reacts with a big heel ovation as self-proclaimed technical master and greatest wrestler other then Dave Dudley EWA ever had, Carter Wilson steps out into MSG. Donned in his usual black and white ensemble, Carter stops momentarily to look over at the Wheel-O-Weapons, and then, shaking his head, heads down the ramp and into the ring, soaking in the boos from the crowd.
Ross: Carter Wilson has really had a long-lasting episode and feud with Andrew Leigh over the past few weeks, mostly centering around the Trans Continental Title.
Styles: Hell get probably his last chance to win the title and prove Leigh wrong about his assessments of Carters talent, or lack thereof, tonight!
Soprano: Ey dis guyz a pretty snappy dresser, hez got some class.
Ross: I wouldnt go far enough to say he has class, but hes a very capable competitor, thats for sure. It will be interesting to see how he adjusts to this type of match here, being a technical craftsman wont do him any good when theres weapons and overall carnage involved!
Wilson steps into the ring, circles it for a while, and waits as The Hives The Hives are Law, You Are Crime begins to play throughout the arena, and the crowd responds with a bigtime face pop for one of its own. Staten Island native and fan favorite, not to mention Trans Continental Champion Andrew Leigh steps out into the arena, and the already friendly crowd reaction intensifies at his appearance.
Styles: And here comes Carters competition, a man extremely apt in the hardcore side of wrestling who should benefit greatly from one of the falls of this match being weapons-exclusive!
Soprano: Staten Island, I gotz some associates dat work and live dere, a great place. Not quite Jersey, but nice.
Ross: Leigh looks and sounds as confident as ever that hell walk out of this place with that title belt still in his possession. And with the success hes had in ICW in his career, how can you doubt him?
Styles: I sure as heck dont.
Leigh walks up the ramp, his eyes wandering from the fans around ringside and Madison Square Garden in general, finally focusing in on Carter Wilson, who is prancing around a bit in preparation. Leigh holds his gaze now, locked on Carter, as he tosses his title belt aside and dives into the ring. The two men stare down, with Leigh spouting off a few words, probably not of encouragement or anything.
Ross: Well this match is all ready to go, except we need to spin the Wheel-O-Weapons to kick things off!
Camera shifts from Leigh and Wilson in-ring to a shot of the hot lady manning the W-O-W (that spells WOW, hee haw, fun-knee). The lady smiles, her white teeth all shiny and perfect, and spins the wheel..
it lands on..
New York City garbage can, garbage and homeless people included!!!!!!
Standing outside the ring is the 2nd referee of the match (the first naturally in his usual spot in-ring with the wrestlers), the 2nd ref being in charge of handing out the weapons. This 2nd referee looks through a pile of weaponry, and pulls out said steel NYC garbage can (even though most garbage cans in NYC are plastic now), and tosses it into the ring! The bell rings, and Andrew Leigh dives towards the can, and grabs a hold of it, before Carter is able to!
Ross: And things are under way! It looks like Andrew Leigh has managed to get a hold of the first weapon, and hes ready to go to work!
Leigh lifts the garbage can up, but as he does, Carter Wilson counters him with a wicked VanDaminator, kicking right into the garbage can, which has a resounding and probably painful impact upon landing right in Leighs face! Leigh hits the mat in a heap, and Wilson continues to go to work, lifting the garbage can up and bringing it crashing down across Leighs midsection! Leigh holds his midsection in pain, rolling up a bit on the mat, and Wilson keeps taking it to him, flipping Leigh over onto his stomach, locking an armbar on Leigh, and then flipping over onto the mat and forming a bridge, applying a great amount of pressure on Leighs arms!
Ross: Wilson locking on a devastating arm bar-bridge combination here, and theres about 30 seconds to go before a 2nd weapon is tossed into the ring!
Styles: They just throw them in, they dont hand them to anybody?!
Ross: Thats the rule, Joey, yes. Just thrown into the ring, or to wherever the two wrestlers happen to be at the moment.
Wilson eventually breaks the hold once he realizes Leigh isnt going to tap out, and the clock on the next weapon hits zero, and the crowd pops a bit! Camera quickly cuts to the Wheel-O-Weapons, and the hot lady spins again..
.glass nun chucks!
Theyre thrown into the ring, and Carter goes and picks them up, and does a little fancy show-off flipping of them. He then goes over to the fallen Leigh, and uses the chain piece connecting the two nun chucks as a device apt to strangle! He pulls the nun chucks back, causing the chain to dig into Leighs neck, in a choking manner! The referee rushes over and applies a standard ten-count, and at 10 Wilson holds it a little longer, and then breaks it.
Styles: That was highly illegal, and just outright unnecessary.
Soprano: Wen did da stupid gookz show up, ey? Nonechucks, dose slanty-eyed bastadz.
Ross: I must say, Ive never heard of nun chucks made out of glass.
Carter continues his beating of Leigh, now bashing the non-glass bottoms of the nun chucks against the back of Leighs head! Finally, he just sits Leigh up on the mat, and starts swinging the nun chucks! Then, after a moment of spinning it Ninja-style, he turns and crashes Leigh across the face with a swing of the nun chuck, causing the side that crashed into Leighs face to shatter, sending chards of glass all along the mat and leaving a few small cuts on Leighs face!
Styles: My GAWD! That was hardcore ECW style, man! How I miss the old days.
Carter, meanwhile, bends down and grabs a hold of one of Andrew Leighs left leg, and drapes Leighs foot over his shoulder, and then stands fully up, causing Leighs leg up to his knee to be bent across Wilsons shoulder! The clock, meanwhile is at about a minute remaining before another weapon is added to the mix!
Ross: Looks like Carter Wilson has a torture rack applied to one of Andrew Leighs legs!
Styles: Yeah, but it isnt very effective, Leigh preparing for a move of his own!
Like Styles said, Andrew Leigh is now squirming around a bit on the mat, trying to regain some of his strength. Finally, as Carter continues to bend his leg over his back and apply pressure to Leighs thigh/shin with his hand, Leigh musters up the strength to swing his free leg up around Carters neck.and pull Carter down HARD to the mat with a nifty counter Hurricanrana!
Ross: Impressive counter move there, Carter Wilson got sent down hard on his back with the impact of that Hurricanrana!
Styles: And 2 minutes are up, time for a new weapon!
Quick shot of the wheel, and the hot lady spins again!
..its..
a standard steel chair!
Referee near ringside tosses the steel chair up into the ring, and Andrew Leigh goes over and lifts it up. Carter, recovered from the Hurricanrana, rushes at Leigh and goes for a dropkick into the chair much like he did previously with the garbage can, but Leigh dodges out of the way this time, and as Carter lands on his back down on the mat, Leigh brings the chair crashing down unto to the top of Carters head!
Ross: My goodness, Andrew Leigh with a harsh chair to the top of Carters head!
Styles: And hes going for the pin!
1
2.
Carter is able to get a shoulder up!
Leigh looks down at Wilson, shakes his head a bit, and then moves the chair to an area which he likes. After hes done this, he pulls Carter off the mat, and hooks Carter, lifting him up into the air! Leigh, with Carter in hand, takes a few steps back, and then takes off, bringing Wilson crashing down onto the steel chair with a running powerslam! Leigh then goes for yet another pin!
1.
2
No! Carter kicks out yet again!
Styles: Man, the ref is extremely slow on that count! Meanwhile, Leigh continues to kick Carter ass!
Ross: It appears like were ready for yet another weapon!
The camera cuts to a shot of the wheel once again, as the attractive woman spins again
and its..
one of Kim-listas vibrating dildo numbers?!?!?!
WTF?!
And its USED?!?!
WHAT THE F*UCK!
..WITH HAGAN?!!?!?!!
OH MY GOD! THIS IS AWFUL!
Anyway, the referee, now wearing about 15 pairs of rubber gloves and a respirator, reaches over and tosses the big, black dildo into the ringLeigh looks over in astonishment as to what just landed in the ring, and he shakes his head. Nonetheless he gets up off the mat, and heads over to the top rope, bringing the steel chair that was flattened underneath Carter Wilson with him!
Styles: OH MY GAWD JR! Do you see that thing in the ring?!?!!?
Ross: Im afraid I do, Joey. It sure is disturbing, thats for sure!
Soprano: Ey, dat ting lookz dirty, it might be alive for all we know!
Styles: Not alive Mr. Soprano, but with about 5 million STDs, and numerous strands of pubic hair via Kim-listas massive afro-in-a-pool-rack bush.
Soprano: Dats just dirty, my kids might be watchin dis, whassamatta witchu?!?!
Ross: Hey Tony, I heard Joey talking before about how Meadow has a bush like that.
Soprano:.who did dis?dis guy next to me?!?!?
Styles: WHAT?! NO, MR. Soprano, thats a l--..
Soprano: So yew got wordz..aboutmy own daughta?!?! I SHOULD BLOW YA F*UCKIN BRAINZ OUT RIGHT NOW, I TELL YEW DAT MUCH, YOU FUCKEN SON OF A SLUT. YOU DONT EVA, EVA, SAY S*HIT ABOUT MY F*UCKIN FAMILY, YOU UNDASTAND DAT?!?! HUH?!?!
Styles: I never said ANYTHING SIR! But I apologize anyway, and I understand! Please, God, dont hurt me!
Meanwhile, Leigh has ascended to the top of the turnbuckle nearest to Carter Wilson, and hes got that steel chair up there with him. Carter Wilson has groggily risen to his feet, and is stumbling around close to where Leigh is lurking, waiting for the right moment..finally, Carter stops in his tracks facing Leigh, and Leigh springs off the top rope, extending the steel chair for a flying chair shot!.. BUT, Carter counters with a snap kick to Leighs gut, and then ducks out of the way before the chair can smack across his head!!!!
Ross: Carter Wilson able to counter that devastating chair shot from the top rope, and now hes got a chance to get back into this match here!
With Leigh now doubled over, and the chair resting adjacent to both men, Carter grabs a hold of Leigh from the side, and brings him crashing across said steel chair with a vicious Rock Bottom! Carter, not content with this, applies a standing head scissors to Leigh, grabs both of Leighs legs and hooks them with his arms, lifts Leigh up.and then sits down into an awkward double-leg piledriver, again right onto that steel chair, getting a lot of use!!!!
Styles: Damn, that one could have broken Leighs neck, that was just horrific!
Ross: Definitely an awkward maneuver, but damaging nonetheless!
Carter goes for a pin!..
1.
2..
Nope, Leigh manages to kick out!!
Meanwhile, the 2 minutes have expired, and the wheel is about to be spun again!
Ross: Lets hope the next weapon is a bit more useful then that dildo that remains untouched in the ring!
Styles: I wouldnt touch that disease-ridden thing if someone paid me!
Wheel is spunand its
The toilet made up of the melted EFWO World Title!!!!!!!
Ross: Well this is a blast from the past. The same toilet that was formed thanks to the melted-down EFWO World Title back in the old ICW days, fitting.
Styles: EFWO still eats s*hit, so I guess its fitting.
The poor referee, he has to lift the toilet and slowly roll it into the ring, which he does, after probably breaking his back and what not. Anyway, Carter Wilson sees an opportunity with the toilet, and he heads over to it, carefully avoiding the Kim-lista dildo, and rolls it closer to where Leigh is laid out!
Ross: What the hell is Carter Wilson cooking up here?!
Styles: Whatever it is, it isnt good for Leigh, thats for sure!
Carter then goes and pulls the down and out Leigh up off the mat.he lets Leigh stumble around a bit, but then locks on a Chicken wing combined with a face lock! He holds the submission move in place for a while, but then he lifts Leigh up off the mat, and brings the back of his head crashing RIGHT ONTO THE SIDE OF THE TOILET!!! The move he calls the Bridge of Sighs, which leads into a pinfall!!!!
1.
2
SOMEHOW, Leigh pushes and kicks his way out of the bridge!!!!!!!!
Ross: My goodness, Leigh is extremely fortune to wiggle out of that one, that was a hellacious maneuver from Carter Wilson!
Styles: Hes cheating in there, Carter Wilson! That bastard, he cant do that kind of thing, not on a toilet!
Carter is in shock as to how Leigh managed to kick out of his move, but Leigh is now lying draped across the toilet, in a heap of pain and what not. Carter, though, shakes his head, rises to his feet, and heads over to the top rope!
Ross: Carter Wilson setting up for a high-risk maneuver here!
Styles: Not much room for error! If he messes up, then he lands face-first into a toilet, but if he connects, this thing might be over!
Carter Wilson reaches the top rope, and balances himself up there.he looks around for a moment..then flies off, extending and attempting a flying frog splash!!!!.
but of course, Andrew Leigh manages to slide out of the way, naturally, and Carter Wilson lands chest/stomach-first right against the porcelain/EFWO World Title toilet!!! Carter is all in pain, thanks to landing gut-first on a toilet! Plus, the Wheel is ready for a new weapon.
. .a blender!
Ross: Well Carter Wilson came up completely empty! And now BOTH competitors are out!
Styles: And now theres a blender involved! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
Leigh and Carter are both basically unmoving.but Leigh is starting to slowly recover! After a few moments of the crowd cheering to try and get Leigh back into the match, it appears that both men are now closing in on regaining to their feet!..and they both are in fact eventually up!
Ross: SO both competitors are back up, things are about to heat up!
Carter rushes towards the blender, now in the ring, but before he reaches it, Leigh CRUSHES Carter with a desperation running spear! Carter hits the mat in a heap, and Leigh slowly recovers once again.and goes over and picks up the blender! He uses the cord first to try to choke out Carter Wilson, but the referee breaks him up from doing it for a real extended amount of time. Then, he simply bashes the blender against the back of Carters head! Carter, down to begin with, hits with an even bigger thump then he did before!
Styles: Leigh really taking control now! Time is getting short for Carter Wilson!
Carter isnt moving around much, and Leigh picks him up.he kicks him in the gut to double him over, and then locks on a double-underhook!.
Ross: Here comes one of his moves! This could be over here!
.Leigh lifts him up onto his shoulder, AND then brings Carter crashing down, face-first..ONTO THE TOILET WITH AN INTRODUCING THE METRIC SYSTEM IN TIME DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK FACE-FIRST BOMB!!!!!!
Soprano: He jus got WHACKED!
Carter is out cold pretty much.and Leigh is ready to go for the pin!..but he looks around at the cheering crowd, and then down.at the dildo, still lying in the ring from its original entrance!
Ross: I think he should be going for a pin here, this waste of time could be a mistake!
Styles: Oh god, what the hell, dont TOUCH THAT THING!
Leigh, as Styles hinted to, heads over to the vibrating Kim-lista concoction (stress the coc- part), and holding his nose picks it up, only using his finger tips.and heads over to the fallen Carter Wilson!
Ross: Wait a second.oh no, dear God! PLEASE, DONT DO THAT!
..and Leigh, in a quick motion, opens Carters mouth.. and tosses the dildo in there!
Styles: OHMY GAWD!!!!!!!
Soprano: Ey, how duz dat sayin go?!
Ross: THAT IS JUST HEINOUS, MY LORD!
Styles: It has now become a reality.the d*ick is in YOUR mouth, Carter Wilson.
Leigh wipes his finger tips on his shirt, as the dildo remains in Carters mouth, and Leigh goes ahead, pulls him away from the toiletand locks on THE MODERN AGE reverse Indian Deathlock!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carter Wilson, ready to tap out?!?!.
Hes..almost.
Not quite tappingOUCH IT HURTS
HE
TAPS!!! Carter Wilson taps out!
Winner, via submission, and leading 1-0, Andrew Leigh!!!!!!!!
Ross: Oh hell yes! Andrew Leigh with a big victory, and he takes the lead in the series right off the bat!
Styles: MY goodness, all Carter Wilson gets to show for it is a d*ick in his mouth and a bruised ego!
Soprano: Ey, dat wuz jus wrong, wut kinda sick animal iz dis Leigh guy anyway, ey?!
Leigh walks to the back, as the referee calmly pulls the dildo out of Carter Wilsons mouth.
Ross: Well, how do we follow that? Anyway, now it's time for what could prove to be an interesting match. It's the 4 way match for the ICW Name Your Own Title...and this is a very interesting concept, Joey, would you care to explain?