Post by Lou E. Dangerously on Jun 17, 2008 13:33:22 GMT -6
We immediately cut to outside the ICW arena, where Dave Dudley is seen throwing things around. He throws a garbage can into a car, setting off it's alarm. A man comes up...
Man: Dude, that's my car!
Dave Dudley kicks the man in the balls, throws him in the air, and drops him with the 4D!!!! THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!
He then goes over to another vehicle, a 1975 Green Chevy Nova, and gets in. He fires it up, and peels off, driving towards...the ARENA ENTRANCE???
Joey Styles: What the fuck, Chuck?
Myst: This is going to be the most INSANE THURSDAY INSANE THURSDAY EVER, JOEY!
The TIT intro package rolls, and we cut to the innards of the ICW Arena, in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. A big banner of Lou E. Dangerously hangs above the ScottieTRON above the stage. The pyro goes off in the rafters, and on the stage, and the camera pans to show the signs in the crowd:
"SAVE US, Y2A!"
"MYST IS PYST!"
"MORRIGAN WAS ROBBED"
"THE AGE OF CONSTANTINE HAS BEGUN!"
"I WANT TO MOVE TO MYSTLEIGHARIA!"
"FENYX RISING!"
"I'LL BE LONE WOLF'S CUB!"
"DUDE YOU'RE A GUY!"
"STILL, I'LL SUCK ON THOSE-"
"HELL-O!"
"AGAIN, HOW'D YOU GET BOLD IN YOUR SIGN?"
"WWW.MYSPACE.COM/MISTERTESTIFY"
The camera settles on the announce position
Joey Styles: Hello everyone and WELCOME TO THURSDAY INSANE THURSDAY! I'm the voice of ICW, Joey Styles along with my broadcast colleague, the ENIGMATIC, PROPHETICAL, ROCKY, BENTLEYdriving...
Myst: NUMBER ONE STUNNA!!!!!!!!
JS: MYST! Replacing our very own Gordon Ramsay as he suffered some serious injury at the Triple Terror Tournament.
Myst: Yeah, and we'll be chatting with Gordon live VIA SATELLITE! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, we have a new ICW Champion!
JS: Calvin Constantine, indeed, folks, let's take you back to last Thursday...
Highights from the Triple Terror Tournament PPV are shown
First round, Dudley losing to Hampton in quite possibly the best match of the night.
Morrigan knocking out Kayne, and then embracing in the ring
Constantine waiting for his opponent, a no show, then immediate second round battle with Gladiator, as Constantine escapes the cage with some help from LB
Second round Morrigan and Hampton, brother vs sister, Dudley interfering, Kayne interfering, Morrigan goes over the cage, Dudley superplexed through the announce table OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE BY HAMPTON!
Dudley wheeled out in stretcher
Hook getting in Calvin's face
Main event Constantine vs Morrigan Hook coming out costing Constantine the match, Constantine battling back, ScottiePP7 showing up helping Hook decimate Calvin, Morrigan and Kayne taking out Hook and PP7, Lou Dangerously lowers the cage making it the first ever CAGE-LADDER match, Morrigan and Constantine DIVING OFF OF THE CAGE HANGING ON THE CABLE HOLDING THE ICW TITLE
Lone wolf coming in and destroying Morrigan, Constantine jumping off the cage to retrieve the belt and become the champion!
JS: What a night it was, and Myst, what another great night we have tonight, as we look above the stage at the ever present face of our General Manager, Lou E. Dangerously.
Myst: He's a handsome man, kind of like how X-Dude's mom is a handsome woman.
JS: Man, that's low.
Myst: Remember when EFWO used a knock off of you called Joey Splinter?
JS: He was a knock off of me? I thought he was related to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Myst: Nope. I'll tell you who is, though...TODD PETTENGILL!
cut to backstage, where we see the toddster
Todd Pettengill: Guys {finishing a sandwich, looks like pastrami}, we're backstage waiting for Dudley, who drove a car into the arena...wow! The guy moves fast! He's like a power ranger, or Walker Texas Ranger, or some other shows that were on in the mid 90s. XENA! Right? Right? What are these 90's references doing for you?
Myst: Eh, they're ok, I guess.
JS: Could be funnier.
TP: Look, I can try harder. Look, my initials are TP. TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE! REMEMBER THAT? BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD??
JS: Look Todd, we gotta go...
TP: No, please. PLEASE COME ON. I NEED THIS JOB.
JS: Look we're not saying you're fired or anything. We can't even do that. It's not you, it's me.
TP: GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE. DON'T LEAVE ME!
Suddenly, Dave Dudley tears ass through the hallway in his car, and drives through the arena entrance, as the fans go wild for such a crazy arrival. He drives up to the ring, leans out, revs the car, and shuts it off, entering the ring.
JS: Well, he's here. He looks pissed.
Myst: Does he look PYST?
JS: No, just pissed.
Myst: Darn...
Dave Dudley: SHUT UP. ALL OF YOU. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.
the fans chant, asshole, asshole
Dave Dudley: I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS. EVER SINCE I HIRED LOU E. DANGEROUSLY TO BE THE GENERAL MANAGER, HE'S DONE NOTHING BUT SCREW ME OVER AT EVERY TURN.
The fans boo
Dave Dudley: And now I'm in a loser must leave ICW match? THAT'S HORSE SHIT. LOU, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW.
"Apocalypse Please" hits, and out comes ICW General Manager, Lou E. Dangerously to a round of applause.
JS: The fans here in Philly love Lou E.!!!
Dangerously enters the ring, and grabs a microphone
Lou E. Dangerously: Now, now. Before we get into a beef, look at that pretty mug up there above the stage! That's my way of saying "I'M WATCHING YOU, ICW"! HAHA!
The fans cheer
Lou E. Dangerously: Back to you, Mr. Dudley. You were saying something?
Dave Dudley: It's all connected. You understand? All of this twelve nonsense. It was a ruse. TO BLINDSIDE ME.
Lou E. Dangerously: What the hell are you talking about?
Dave Dudley: You used to be my best friend. My closest ally. But the money talked, as it always does. You turned your back on me. You turned your back on ICW. You sold us out.
Lou E. Dangerously: What the hell? I LOVE ICW. I live for ICW. The LWN, the EWA, The EFWO, all of those places are DEAD, Dave. DEAD. All that remains is ICW. You are sick.
Dave Dudley: No, they're still out there. Dave Dudley won't rest until he finds out the truth. They're up to something, I can feel it. It can't be as simple as it seems.
Lou E. Dangerously: Which is exactly why you're going to be in this match. You're too unstable, Dave. You're a liability. Dan Hampton got with me, and he helped cook up this match. He's so confident in winning that he's putting his career on the line, to end yours. We've both got nothing left to say about Dave Dudley. You're finished. And if you do somehow manage to win the match tonight, I hope you can get your shit together, and reclaim your past glory. Because it's all gone, Dave. It's all GONE. You've wasted away your career into what? Some conspiracy theories? Give me a break. The only conspiracy around here is how you managed to stay in control for so long. Well not anymore, jack.
Dave Dudley: Lou, don't turn your back me...
Lou E. Dangerously: I'm not turning my back on Dave Dudley. Dave Dudley turned his back on me. FINITO.
Lou drops the mic, and leaves the ring, as Dave looks confused in the ring. He then leaves the ring, as we go to commercial...
Commercial break:
www.egotastic.com
Back to live TV, as we see Fenyx Kayne warming up for his match tonight. Suddenly, Pyro walks up!
Pyro: What's up, man?
Fenyx Kayne: Hey, it's good to see you.
Pyro: Can you believe it? The big leagues. ICW! I made it!
Fenyx Kayne: Glad you could make it. Listen, you got my back tonight? You got Morrigan's back?
Pyro: Absolutely. I'm about to set the ICW world ablaze tonight. It's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!
Fenyx Kayne: Spoken like a true pyromaniac.
Pyro: Well, what can I say? My folks shouldn't have left me around matches as a baby.
Fenyx Kayne: Hook, PP7, you guys shouldn't have meddled in Morrigan's affairs at the TTT. Sure, you were after Constantine, but you would have taken out Morrigan after that. And homie don't play that. We're not about gang-banging and shit.
Suddenly, Sylver Morrigan walks up
Sylver Morrigan: Well, at least in the ring.
Fenyx Kayne: ...right. Anyway. Yeah. You guys better get ready, because we're about to win that tag team match, and then I'll go on to face Calvin Constantine next week for the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.
Sylver Morrigan: You will?
Fenyx Kayne: Yeah.
Sylver Morrigan: Are you forgetting that I made it to the final match at the TTT? That I was the only person who wrestled THREE TIMES in one night? I deserve the title shot.
Pyro: She's got a point.
Fenyx Kayne: Look, we're friends, and-
Sylver Morrigan: Friends?
Fenyx Kayne: ...look, we'll figure it out.
Pyro: Spoken like a true pussy.
Fenyx Kayne: What?
Morrigan walks off, as Kayne and Pyro follow
Pyro: Dude, you are so whipped...
Cut to another part of the arena, where we see Johnny Hook and ScottiePP7.
ScottiePP7: Tonights the night. ICW. Philadelphia. THE LAND OF INSANITY. ScottiePP7 makes his return to action, WITH MY million dollar manpower, Johnny Hook.
Johnny Hook: That's right Scott. ICW, be warned. It's a new day. And these two guys right here? They're the best money can buy. Hook and PP7. We're going to change the ICW landscape. And one of us will be the NEXT ICW World Heavyweight Champion, you can take that to the bank.
ScottiePP7: You can be rest assured that we won't have to bicker and argue about who gets the title shot, after we win this match. Because the money...always...talks...
Suddenly, Lone Wolf walks up.
Lone Wolf And Lone Wolf listens.
ScottiePP7: Oh? Perhaps we could pursuade you to be of some interest in our affairs tonight? We need some backup. Make it gang rules, 3-on-3.
Lone Wolf I-
Suddenly, Wolf's handler, Helter Skelter walks up and interrupts Wolf.
Helter Skelter Sorry, boys. Mr. Wolf will no longer be bought. He's a free agent, now. No man controls him, except me. He's got his own agendas...
ScottiePP7: Oh really?
Johnny Hook: Screw these guys, Scottie.
Scottie and Hook walk off camera, as LW and HS remain in frame.
Lone Wolf Why didn't you let me pounce on them?
Helter Skelter Don't worry about it. Our benefactor brought us to ICW to do a couple pieces of business. We did what we were paid to do. We've got the money, now we can do whatever we want.
Lone Wolf I came back for lots of reasons...money. Respect. Championships. But more importantly, to inflict PAIN. There's someone here who needs... a refresher.
Helter Skelter Refreshing indeed.
Lone Wolf I can't wait to get into the ring, though. I have to get the pain out, by any means necessary.
Helter Skelter Hopefully we'll try to get you a match booked, next week...
HS and LW walk off, as we see a man's eyes in the shadows...
The Nameless: Tonight...
Cut to the arena
JS: Well, lots of backstage happenings here in ICW, Myst.
Myst: Absolutely, Joey! It wouldn't be ICW, otherwise!
The bell sounds
"DIY" by KMFDM hits, and out comes The Gladiator, Centurius Maximus to a mixed reaction. He poses on the ramp, wearing roman gladiator armor, as pyro goes off around him.
JS: The Gladiator coming off of his match with Calvin Constantine at the TTT. He looks in pretty good shape.
Myst: You've got to think, Gladiator is going to want a piece of Constantine now that he's the new ICW Champion.
JS: In the state of ICW, wins and losses can move you up and down the rankings faster than ever before. It's truly all up for grabs!
Gladiator hits the ring, and waits, as "Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!" hits, and out comes Cromwell Welkins, making his ICW debut.
JS: The fans pretty quiet here, for Welkins. He's a virtual unknown here in the states.
Myst: He's the Yahtzee Champion, Joey!
Welkins enters the ring, and poses for the fans. The Gladiator runs over and starts attacking him!
Ding, Ding
The bell sounds, the match is underway. Gladiator strikes with lefts and rights but CW battles back, boxing Gladiator out of the turnbuckle! CW whips Maximus into the ropes, and clotheslines him over the top rope!
JS: The action already spilling out to the outside!
CW stomps Maximus as he lies on the floor. CW grabs Maximus' head and slams it into the steel steps!
CW raises his arm up to the crowd, and KICKS Maximus in the face, with the back of Maximus' head hitting the steel stairs!
Myst: Welkins just CURB-CHECKED Maximus, here!
CW rolls inside the ring to avoid the referee's count.
The Gladiator crawls back into the ring, stopping the referee's count out for him, as well.
JS: You know, The Gladiator isn't looking very focused, tonight.
Myst: His mind definitely seems elsewhere, Joey.
CW picks up Gladiator...and rolls him up in a SMALL PACKAGE!
1...
2...
kickout, by Gladiator.
CW grabs a reverse waistlock on Gladiator, REVERSE ROLLUP!
1...
2...
kickout, by Gladiator.
JS: Cromwell Welkins showing his mastery of pinning combinations here, as he looks for a quick win!
Myst: Well, that is the key in Yahtzee, Joey. WIN QUICK!
JS: No...it's about points.
Myst: Fuck you. And Yahtzee. You're a Nahtzee, you fucking anti-semite.
JS: I'M JEWISH!
CW smiles to the fans, as he motions that he's going to set up Maximus for another pin attempt...but The Gladiator counters with the ROMAN COLLAR twist of fate!
The fans pop for the sudden impact move!
JS: Wow, out of desperation there, The Gladiator hits the Roman Collar!
Myst: That move looks familiar...
The Gladiator struggles to get to his feet, as he gives Cromwell Welkins the THUMBS DOWN!
JS: That's it! He's calling for the end!
Gladiator locks CW in a double underhook.
JS: He's setting him up for THE ENLIGHTENMENT!
Myst: The enlightenment? Hmmm...
BUT CROMWELL REVERSES INTO A BACKDROP!
Cromwell then picks The Gladiator up, and tosses him over the top rope, to the outside.
The referee motions for CW to stop as he tries to go after him, but WELKINS ELBOWS THE REFEREE! The ref is OUT!
JS: Oh come ON!
Cromwell grabs a steel chair...
Myst: Welkins looking to BOGGLE HIS BRAINS OUT!
Welkins raises the steel chair, but Gladiator to his feet, boot to the midsection of CW, he drops the chair, Gladiator hits THE SAXA BOTTOM on the floor!
JS: SAXA BOTTOM, SAXA BOTTOM!
Myst: Saxa bottom? What the hell...
Suddenly, "Danger Is Go" hits, and PYRO EXPLODES FROM THE STAGE!
JS: HERE COMES LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!
But there is no LB on the stage. Gladiator looks up, and around looking for LB, before finally staring back at the stage again.
Myst: Where is he?
LIGHTNING BOLT COMES FROM UNDER THE RING, THUNDER CLAP SUPERKICK TO GLADIATOR! Gladiator bounces backwards into the announce table, leaning on it, as LB lunges foward, headbutting Gladiator in the face, repeatedly
JS: LB has assaulted Gladiator!
Myst: They're right here in front of us!
Welkins climbs back up onto the apron, as he watches LB attack Gladiator. LB positions Gladiator on the Table, and climbs up onto the apron, himself.
JS: Lightning Bolt looking to put the end to The Gladiator here!
LB motions to the crowd for a BALL LIGHTNING 450 SPLASH!
Cromwell yells at LB, from the otherside of the apron. LB LOOKS AT CROMWELL, and charges towards him, on the apron!
JS: LB is going to dish it out to Cromwell, too!
LB runs into CW, but Welkins turns it into a SUFFRAGETTE CITY SPINEBUSTER OFF THE APRON, ONTO GLADIATOR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
ICW, ICW, ICW
JS: OH MY GOD!!!!
THE TABLE EXPLODES!
Cromwell, the only survivor, pulls Gladiator from the wreckage, and rolls him into the ring.
He makes the cover, as the referee slowly gets back up to count it!
1....
2......
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, Cromwell Welkins
"Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!" hits again, as Cromwell raises his arms in victory, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. The referee raises his arm up, but Cromwell throws it down, and pushes the referee down. Welkins heads back to the locker rooms.
JS: Welkins victorious in his ICW debut, LB and Gladiator are in a mess of wreckage!
Myst: Get these doofuses out of here! Get us a new table!
cut to backstage, where we see Dan Hampton being talked to by Todd Pettengill.
Todd Pettengill: Kwang...how do you feel about your match tonight as you team up with Adam Bomb to take on The Headshrinkers?
Dan Hampton: ...the FUCK? Dude. Why am I always interviewed by idiots? Tonight, I put the final word to my fabled rivalry with Dave Dudley. Friends. Enemies. It doesn't matter, this is it. This is the last time. Tonight I put Dave Dudley out of wrestling, but more important than THAT, I recieve a world heavyweight title shot, to USE WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.
the fans cheer
Dan Hampton: As for the Insanity Cell? July2Die? Maybe I'll decide to use my title shot in it, maybe not. Maybe I'll figure out a way to get into it, without using the title shot. Who knows? It's all up for grabs. It's pretty good to be the Golden One, right now. And I'll soon have the gold to match the name. DIG IT!
Todd Petterngill: Hey, I get that Macho Man reference. Finally, something to work with! Back to you, Rob Bartlett!
JS: Lou E. Dangerously. Fire this guy. Please?
Cut to backstage, with Lou E. Dangerously.
Lou E. Dangerously: I'm afraid we can't. He has nude pictures of my cousins in his possession. Dirty little blackmailer. He and Marc Summers used to do a lot of coke back in the day at Nickelodeon studios during "Double Dare" tapings. The guy is Twisted Crazy.
Myst: Well, I hear you have an important announcement about next week's Thursday, Insane Thursday.
Lou E. Dangerously: That's right. Due to all of the craziness running around with tables and people being put through them, I'm announcing a one night INVITATIONAL Battle Royal, TABLES Style.
JS: Oh?
Lou E. Dangerously: It's going to be an over the top rope battle royal, but the ringside area will be LINED with tables. You get tossed over the top, you fall through a table, we're all happy. Right?
Myst: Right ON!
Lou E. Dangerously: And the winner? Well, it's easy. The winner will recieve a GUARANTEED ENTRY IN THE INSANITY CELL MAIN EVENT FOR THE ICW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AT JULY2DIE.
the fans cheer
Lou E. Dangerously: Not only that, but I MIGHT also have news about the installation of the brand new ICW NAME YOUR OWN CHAMPIONSHIP!
The fans CHEER!
Lou E. Dangerously: The NYO champion will be able to name his title accordingly, and while champion, able to set any kind of stipulations that may come with being the champion. It kind of lets us change it up all the time.
JS: Wow, that sounds like a chaotic situation.
Lou E. Dangerously: Exactly. It's kinda what I do.
Myst: Who's going to be in the battle royal?
Lou E. Dangerously: Well, how about...The Gladiator. And Lightning Bolt. Let them work it out in the battle royal. And why not Cromwell? He can get dirty. And both members of the LOSING team of tonight's next match, Morrigan and Kayne vs. Hook and PP7.
JS: Wow!
Lou E. Dangerously: And a few more, since it's an open invitation. You want in? YOU KNOW WHERE MY OFFICE IS.
Dangerously walks off camera.
JS: Well, that match is next!
commercial break:
Promo for July2Die:
davedudleyicw.proboards101.com/index.cgi?board=ppvsspecialevents&action=display&thread=298&page=1
back to live TV
The bell sounds, and "Sick of Life" by Godsmack hits, as Sylver Morrigan comes out to a huge fan reaction.
She enters the ring and salutes the fans, as she looks a little worse for wear.
JS: These fans appreciate her effort in the TTT last week. She almost had it in the bag.
Myst: It's hard to wrestle three times in one night, Joey. She did that, and then some, as all three matches were grueling, to say the least.
Morrigan waits, as "Burn Back The Sun" hits, and out comes Fenyx Kayne, accompanied by Pyro. The fans cheer for both the ICW newcomers, as they enter the ring, and hi five each other and Morrigan.
Myst: Could we see the beginnings of a new faction here, in Morrigan, Kayne, and Pyro?
JS: Who knows, Myst. They're definitely friendly with each other.
"More Human Than Human" hits, and out comes Johhny Hook, as the fans boo. He is holding a steel chair, as he holds it up in the air. The Zombie stops, and "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" hits signalling the arrival of the Half a Million Dollar Mogul, ScottiePP7! He's also holding a steel chair. They walk together to the ring, as the fans boo...
JS: ScottiePP7, returning to ICW after years, and he's got a newfound glory, and a new protegy or enforcer if you will, in Hook.
Myst: He's kind of like a hired gun, I think. His services were called upon to help Scottie get back some power, in ICW.
The two enter the ring, as they hold the chairs up, and taunt Morrigan, Kayne, and Pyro.
Myst: Scottie and Hook are standing tall!
Pyro leaves the ring, as Scottie and Hook THROW the chairs at Kayne and Morrigan! They both catch them, but Hook and Scottie SLIDE BETWEEN THEIR LEGS! They hit SCHOOLBOYS!
1...
2...
Kickout, by Morrigan and Kayne
JS: Hook and Scottie aren't fooling around here!
Hook and Scottie get up, as do Morrigan and Kayne. Morrigan and Kayne both go for clotheslines, but Hook and PP7 duck! Hook and PP7 clothesline Morrigan and Kayne out of the ring!
Myst: Hook and PP7 are ON THE MONEY!
Pyro helps Morrigan and Kayne back into the ring, as the match finally evens out into a real tag team match.
It's PP7 and Kayne, starting it off.
PP7 and Kayne lock up, and Kayne punches PP7 back into the Kayne/Morrigan corner. FK punches away on PP7. Kayne whips PP7 into the ropes, attempts a dropkick, but misses! PP7 grabs Kayne's legs on the way down, and tags in Hook. Hook with the slingshot leg drop from the apron! And the cover!
1...
2...
Kickout, by Fenyx Kayne.
JS: Great springboard into the legdrop by Hook. The guy CAN wrestle, Myst.
Myst: When he wants to. He's an exceptional brawler, however, as he's proving it right now.
Hook starts to pummel away on Kayne, as he puts the boots to Kayne's left knee.
Myst: Every good brawler knows that it's just not enough. You need to be able to dissect your opponent, piece by piece. And that's what he is seemingly doing here, with Kayne.
Hook works over the knee a little bit more, before putting the boots to Kayne's back, and dropping elbows to the back. Hook then locks in a Boston Crab!
JS: Hook goes from the knee to the back and finally locking in the Boston Crab, which targets both areas.
Myst: I think Hook is on top of his game, definitely. He's not showing us everything he knows.
Kayne is in agony, as he stretches for his partner, Morrigan, to make a tag. Morrigan rallies up the fans, as the fans chant
"KAYNE, KAYNE, KAYNE"
Kayne pulls Hook closer to his corner...
closer...
closer...
almost there...
BUT HOOK PULLS HIM BACK INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
JS: Kayne SO close here to making the tag, but Hook just pulls him back away from Morrigan.
Myst: I tell you, Kayne is full of determination right here, Joey! And the fans are behind him!
Kayne is in payne...
The referee asks him if he wants to tap out, but Fenyx shakes his head NO! Hook repeatedly says "ASK HIM!" Kayne shakes his head no, as Morrigan is trying to help Kayne get some momentum by continuing to rally the fans.
JS: Kayne is going to have no CHOICE but to tap here!
Myst: KAYNE IS IN PAYNE!
Yeah, I said that already.
Scottie looks at Hook, and crosses his throat, Crippler-style. Hook releases the crab, and stands up.
Myst: He released the hold?
JS: Scottie is motioning for something else, here.
Myst: They really want to make an impact. First the TTT, now the decimation of Fenyx Kayne!
Hook picks up Kayne, and sets him up, vertical suplex.
JS: He's going for HOOK'S HELL!
Hook, going for the vertical suplex into the neckbreaker he likes to call Hook's Hell, has Kayne up in the air...
AND HE DROPS HIM!
BUT KAYNE FLIPS OUT OF IT, LANDING ON HIS FEET BEHIND HOOK, AND DIVES INTO THE CORNER, MAKING THE TAG TO MORRIGAN!!!
JS: MORRIGAN IS IN! MORRIGAN IS IN!!!
Morrigan enters the ring and hits Hook with a HUGE DROPKICK! Hook falls to the outside, as Morrigan pulls PP7 into the ring, and starts to kick away on him!
On the outside, Pyro puts the boots to Hook, before rolling him into the ring.
Morrigan whips PP7 into the ropes, hits him with a front flip into a hurricanrana, BAD MAGICK! PP7 is flung through the ropes, to the outside.
Myst: Morrigan really cleaning house here!
JS: Which is where a woman belongs!
Myst: {the needle off of the record screeching noise}
Morrigan grabs Hook, who wobbles to his feet, BREAK THE CYCLE!!! Hook is down with the cobra clutch applied on him!
JS: THAT'S IT!!
The referee checks to see if Hook is going to submit, when suddenly, LONE WOLF appears walking down the ramp. He points a baseball bat at Morrigan, and laughs.
JS: What the hell?
Myst: This must have been the other business they were talking about earlier!
Morrigan, seeing Wolf, is ENRAGED. She lets go of Hook, and chases Wolf to the backstage area.
JS: Morrigan has just left the match!
Pyro slides into the ring and talks to the referee. Fenyx Kayne enters the ring, limping a bit. They talk with the referee.
Myst: What's going on here now, Joseph?
Kayne, Pyro, and the referee turn to face the announce table/time keeper position, as the ring announcer notifies the arena
PYRO WILL REPLACE MORRIGAN IN THIS MATCH!
The fans cheer!
JS: Well, Pyro, the newcomer, is replacing Morrigan here in this match apparently.
Myst: I can't believe Morrigan left her partners like that!
Pyro and Kayne turn around...TO MEET HOOK AND PP7!!!! SCOTTIE HITS THE MARTINI DDT ON PYRO, HOOK HITS HOOK'S HELL ON KAYNE, THEY BOTH MAKE COVERS!
1...
2...
3!!!!!!!!!
Winners, by pinfall, Johnny Hook and ScottiePP7
The fans boo!
JS: I can't believe it! Morrigan practically cost them the match!
Myst: Hook and PP7 get the win, and Pyro, who wasn't OFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY in this match, has suffered his first loss here in ICW!
JS: Don't forget Kayne, who has still yet to WIN a match here in ICW.
Hook and PP7 head back to the backstage area, celebrating, as Pyro and Kayne sit in the ring, holding their heads, wondering what the hell just happened.
JS: Hook or PP7 will face Calvin Constantine NEXT week, for the ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Myst: Who's it gonna be?
We see Lone Wolf walking through the hall, laughing, in the backstage area.
JS: Looks like Wolf lost Morrigan.
Wolf taps his bat, as he walks thru the hallway...
Suddenly, the lights go out!
Myst: What?
Lone Wolf: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Voice: I told you that I wouldn't be having this kind of shit on my watch, here in ICW.
JS: It's The Nameless, he's here!
Lone Wolf: Show yourself, coward!
Voice: YOU'RE ALL COWARDS!
The lights come on, revealing the mysterious Nameless to be none other than...JOHNNY Q. PUBLIC!
JS: Qpublic? Former ICW World Champion, QPublic!!!
Wolf swings his bat at QPublic, but QPublic ducks, with the bat hitting the wall. LW drops the bat, QPublic hits the ATONEMENT SUPERKICK TO THE BACK OF WOLF'S NECK! WOLF'S FACE BOUNCES OFF THE WALL.
QPublic stands over Wolf.
JS: Good LORD!
QPublic: This isn't about you, Wolf. This isn't about anyone. It's about EVERYONE! ICW needs some first class heroes. And I'm here to be the hero. I stand up for the INTEGRITY of the ICW. For everything that's right. In some ways, I'm the antithesis of ICW. It's time to right wrongs. To show people that someone can stand up for themselves, still. To show the world why I've always been the best. You'll be the first example. Next week, there will be another. Why? Because I'm MADE BY THE PEOPLE...
FOR THE PEOPLE!
QPublic walks off camera, as LW stirs... getting up, holding the back of his neck.
Suddenly, Morrigan walks up, and looks down on the fallen LW...
Commercial break:
RELIVE THE LAST LWN MATCH EVER!
THAT'S RIGHT, ON ICW.COM YOU CAN WATCH LWN-ON-DEMAND, 24-7! WITNESS THE VERY LAST MATCH EVER ON LWN TV, A DEBATE BETWEEN HOYAKILLAH, AND Y2JLIONTAMER!
ALL THIS AND MORE ON SUCK ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Back to live TV, where Gordon Ramsay is joining us, live, via satellite...in the background, a sign that says SAVE US, Y2A!
JS: Welcome back to Thursday, Insane Thursday and we're now joined by CHEF Gordon Ramsay, Gordon, good to see you, how are you doing?
Gordon Ramsay: I'm recovering well, y' fucking cunt. If it werent for the bugger actions of that blimey Myst fudgepacking cocksucker, I WOULD BE THERE WITH YOU TODAY AT THE ICW ARENA. FUCKING RUBBISH.
Myst: LISTEN BITCH. YOU WANT TO GO? WE CAN GO.
Gordon Ramsay: The fuckin' painkillers I'm on for me' face has made me all limp-dicked. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLEASE THE WIMMENS? BLOODY HELL, IT'S RAW! IT'S FUCKING RAW!
Myst: You know what I always say, Joey? I don't...
JS: Have sex with women who arent really fat?
Myst: No, I don't-
JS: Run over cats on Sundays and Wednesdays?
Myst: NO, I don't-
JS: Clean your ears until months later, when you build wax sculptures out of the ear wax?
Myst: NO, I DON'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE. DAMNIT!
JS: Oh, right. You do always say that.
Gordon Ramsay: I'm coming back for your bollocks, Myst. And when I do, there will be hell to pay. HELL'S KITCHEN TO PAY. FOR YOUR DINNER. WHICH WAS A FUCKING BEEF WELLINGTON. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Myst: I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO MYSTLEIGHARIA OR WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU'RE FROM, BROSEF. IN FACT, I'M COMING UP TO YOUR SATELLITE AND PUTTING MY FOOT BETWIXT YOUR BALLSAC, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, ASS FUCK?
JS: Um, Myst...
Myst: FUCKING FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
JS: Myst!
Myst: What?
Gordon has left the air, and we're now greeted by new ICW Champion Calvin Constantine, who Myst has been yelling at for a few seconds now.
Myst: Oh, fuck.
JS: Calvin, any thoughts on tonight?
Calvin Constantine: I've a few thoughts, Joey. Yeah. I do. See there's a HUGE list of people here in ICW that are gunning for me, for this. The ICW World Heavyweight Championship. And I'll be a fighting champion. Hook or PP7, whichever one, I want some payback for the TTT. You tried to take me out, it didn't work, and it won't work next week. And after that, I look foward to the Insanity Cell match, and successfully defending my title, and becoming the first man to walk IN and OUT of the Insanity Cell as the champion still.
JS: What about the challenge of Dudley, or Hampton, who, after tonight, one of them will be declared the new Number One Contender, and given a title shot that they can USE whenEVER they CHOOSE?
Calvin Constantine: Why did you say it all weird like that? USE whenEVER they CHOOSE?
Myst: It's cool, it's called Cheesin'.
Calvin Constantine: Cheesin'?
Myst: Yeah, because it's FON to DUE!
Calvin Constantine: Christ. Dudley or Hampton, it doesn't matter. They can choose their match whenever they want, for all I care. Hell they could use it to get straight into the Insanity Cell match at July2Die.
JS: That would be a smart move.
Calvin Constantine: What ISN'T a smart move, is wanting to challenge me in the first place. I plan on holding this belt for quite a while.
JS: Calvin, congratulations on the win, I look foward to seeing your title matches, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the show.
Calvin Constantine: Oh, I will. Lou E. Dangerously and I will be watching from the skybox here in the ICW Arena. With great interest.
Lou E. Dangerously walks into frame, with Calvin Constantine.
Lou E. Dangerously: That's right, boys. This guy is the MEAL TICKET! Congrats, Calvin. I wish you everything that you deserve, as champion.
Dangerously pats the ICW World Title, draped over CC's shoulder.
Lou E. Dangerously: And one more thing. I'm confident in many things. I'm confident in my boy here, Calvin Constantine, I'm confident in Dudley losing tonight. SO CONFIDENT IN BOTH THINGS...
Dan Hampton, if YOU BEAT DAVE DUDLEY TONIGHT, and send him packing...
You'll not only get a title shot, GOOD FOR ONE YEAR,
But you'll be in the INSANITY CELL MATCH, AT JULY2DIE, FOR THE ICW WORLDHEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Let's...get...DANGEROUS!
JS: GREAT NEWS! Well fans, it's time for our main event here of the evening, and history in the making. One man gets a title shot, becoming the number one contender, one man leaves ICW.
Myst: The saga of Dave Dudley and Dan Hampton comes to a close, and it happens NOW!
"Survivalism" hits, and out comes The Hardcore Icon, The Most Dangerous Man In Wrestling Today, Dave Dudley to a, believe it or not, mixed reaction. The former six time ICW Champion is looking severely crestfallen as he makes his way to the ring.
Myst: Fans, if you've been following Dave Dudley's recent events, he just found out that there was a mystery group running ICW and most of the wrestling world, but it was designed to keep Dudley himself in the shadows. In the end, Dudley destroyed the group, only to realize that he carried out the original plans of the group, consolodating the group and the corporate non-entity into one structured soverign entity. What will become of it is unknown, but it was all about money, not manipulation or conspiracy.
JS: Wow Myst, that pretty much sums it up.
Myst: THAT'S MY MOMMA!
Dudley enters the ring, and leans in the corner.
"Past Tense, Future Perfect" hits, signalling the arrival of the Five Time EWA Champion, Dan "The Golden Cereal Killing Mouth Puking Jaded Icon of Broctoon Action" Hampton. The fans greet him with a great applause.
Myst: Well, here comes TGCKMPJIOBA, Dan Hampton!
JS: What the FUCK? Well folks, there have only been a handful of people to have held both the ICW and EWA world titles in their careers: Dave Dudley, our very own Myst, Amalek, and Healius. Hampton with a win here, looks to become one step closer to becoming the 5th man to hold both titles.
Myst: A very hallowed list of competitors. Dave Dudley looks to become the first-ever SEVEN TIME World Heavyweight Champion, in any LWN-affiliated promotion.
JS: But one man, Myst. One man will wrestle his last ICW match, ever.
The fans are cheering as Dudley and Hampton stare each other down, in the ring.
The fans rumble with anticipation, as one man will leave ICW, after this match...
Ding, ding
The bell sounds as the fans are still cheering. The chants eventually turn into
"GOOD-BYE
DUD-LEY"
clap clap clapclapclap
"GOOD-BYE
DUD-LEY"
clap clap clapclapclap
the other side of the arena chants
"HAMP-TON
FUCK-YOU"
clap clap clapclap clap
"HAMP-TON
FUCK-YOU"
clap clap clapclapclap
and yet a third part of the arena chants:
"Y2A, Y2A, Y2A"
JS: This might be the most important match in ICW history, folks.
Myst: Now I must state, that this match has no effect on Dave Dudley's ownership of ICW. His ICW presence has already been eliminated with the inductment of Lou E. Dangerously as ICW GM. Until that contract expires, Dave Dudley cannot be on ICW tv as a management role, and if he should LOSE this match, he will be forced to keep to his offices at the ICW Headquarters, and not even be backstage in the lockeroom area during ICW shows. I was informed of this earlier today, by Lou E. Dangerously.
Camera cuts to Lou E. and Calvin Constantine watching from the skybox.
Dudley and Hampton pace around the ring. The fans quiet down, as the situation is as tense as it gets.
DD and DH lock up in a collar elbow. Dudley pushes Hampton back into the ropes and punches away. Hampton pushes Dudley out of the ropes, as Dudley replies with a fierce chop to the chest of Hampton.
Hampton kicks Dudley in the midsection, and whips him into the turnbuckle. Dudley hits the corner hard, and walks out towards the middle of the ring, as Hampton bounces off the ropes and hits a BULLDOG headlock on Dudley! Dudley's face is driven into the mat.
JS: Dudley goes head down, into the mat!
Myst: Joey like I said earlier this match is so important for both men. I would imagine, that the stipulation of the winner not only getting a good for one year title shot, but getting into the INSANITY CELL match applies to Dudley, too.
JS: Let's hope that this doesn't come back to bite Dangerously, on his ass.
Hampton picks Dudley up, and drops him with a DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK BRAINBUSTER, BRAIN SURGERY!
Hampton makes the cover!
1...
2...
kickout, by Dave Dudley.
Dudley is brought to his feet by Dan Hampton, who whips The Hardcore Icon into the ropes. Hampton goes for a clothesline, but Dudley ducks, and stops behind Dan Hampton, hitting Hampton with THE SUPER HERO SLAM!!!
Myst: ANGLE SLAM, ANGLE SLAM!
Dudley makes the cover-
1...
2...
kickout, by Dan Hampton.
Dudley brings Hampton to his feet, and sizes Hampton up...Dudley goes for the SUPERKICK but HAMPTON catches his foot! He spins Dudley around, STFUplex!!!!
JS: Dudley is down!
Hampton stops for a moment to catch is breath. He walks towards Dudley, to pick him up...SMALL PACKAGE TO HAMPTON, DUDLEY ROLLS HIM UP!
1....
2...
KICKOUT, by Dan Hampton.
Myst: These two men are pulling out ALL the stops. We're not going to see a finessed match, we're seeing two men desperate to survive!
Dudley gets to his feet first after the kickout. Dudley sizes up Hampton, again. Hampton gets to his feet, Dudley hits the 4D!!!!! THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!
JS: 4D! IT'S OVER!!!
HAMPTON COUNTERS!!! HE PUSHES DUDLEY INTO THE TURNBUCKLE, DUDLEY BOUNCES OFF, STERNUM FIRST, HAMPTON LOCKS IN THE MEWDAN CLUTCH!!!
Myst: MEWDAN CLUTCH ON DAVEACHU!!!!
Dudley wriggles and tries to break the hold. He walks Hampton back towards the turnbuckle, DUDLEY CLIMBS UP THE TURNBUCKLE WITH HIS FEET, AND FLIPS OVER HAMPTON, BREAKING THE HOLD. ON THE WAY DOWN, DUDLEY CATCHES HAMPTON'S ARM IN A ARM-DRAG TAKEDOWN, AND LOCKS IN THE SILENT SCREAM!!!
JS: GOOD LORD!
The referee is on hand to see if Hampton wants to tap out, but Hampton refuses. Dudley applies more pressure, but Hampton manages to flip Dudley over and roll him onto his side!
1...
2...
kickout, by Dave Dudley, as he releases the crossface. Dudley gets to his feet first, and motions for Hampton to 'come on'. Hampton gets up, holding his shoulder. Dudley sets him in position for GREETINGS FROM DUDLEYVILLE!!!
Myst: RIKISHI DRIVER!
Hampton flips out of it, and locks in a front reverse facelock, Johnny Ace style, and flips up the turnbuckle, flipping over Dudley, and dropping him with A REVERSE IMPLANT DDT, PURGATORY CHASM!!!!
The fans go wild!!!
JS: THAT'S IT! DUDLEY IS FINISHED!!!
Hampton makes a cover, is it enough?
1...
2...
KICKOUT, BY DAVE DUDLEY!!!
We see Lou E. Dangerously and Calvin Constantine in the skybox, watching. Lou is on his feet, while Calvin looks on calmly.
We see Morrigan, Kayne, and Pyro all watching a TV in the locker room, talking amongst themselves.
We see ScottiePP7 and Johnny Hook, arms crossed, standing in their luxurious locker room, watching the match, intently.
We see LB scribbling on a chalkboard.
We see The Gladiator backstage with the match on a monitor, sitting in a chair, head on his lap, with a towel over his neck.
We see Lone Wolf, Seductress, and Helter Skelter, watching a monitor, as EMTs look at Wolf's face, as he pushes them off of him.
We see Johnny Q. Public, backstage at the ICW Interview area, watching the match, arms crossed.
We see Cromwell Welkins, playing a young child at Yahtzee, he flips the game board up at the child, and the child runs as pieces fly everywhere. He stands up to watch the match.
JS: THE WORLD IS WATCHING THIS MATCH!!!
Hampton rolls out of the ring, and grabs a steel chair.
At the same time, Dudley rolls out, and grabs a table.
The two enter the ring, Hampton with the chair, Dudley with the table. They both throw their weapons down, and charge towards each other.
Myst: Somewhat of a stalemate here!
Dudley and Hampton engage in fisticuffs in the middle of the ring. Back and forth, left and right, to and fro, the two exchange blows, as the fans cheer for each man as they get a punch in.
JS: Some fans are actually behind Dudley, here!
Myst: He's The Hardcore ICON, Joey! Of COURSE he has fans!
Hampton whips Dudley into the ropes, Dudley bounces off, Hampton goes for a spinning kick, Dudley ducks. Dudley whips Hampton into the ropes this time, and off the rebound, Dudley throws Hampton up in the air with a flapjack...
JS: 4D!!! 4D!!!!
The chans gasp and chant FOURRRRRRRRR DDDDDDDDDDDDD
HAMPTON COUNTERS WITH A DROPKICK!!! Dudley goes into the mat, as Hampton climbs to the top rope, in swift fashion.
Myst: Dan Hampton has the Dave Dudley Death Drop well scouted, Joey.
JS: I'm sure he knows what it feels like, Myst! I bet he doesn't want it to happen again!
Hampton waits for Dudley to get to his feet, and flies off with a HURRICANRANA, THE LAST DANCE!!!
Dudley counters!!! INTO A DUDLEY BOMB!!!
JS: Dudley holds on to Hampton, he's going for a power bomb!
Myst: Wait, Dudley can't hold on!!!
Hampton follows through and Hurricanranas Dudley through the ropes, to the outside. Hampton, still in the ring, sets up the chair in the middle of the ring, and puts the table in the corner, leaning on the top turnbuckle.
Myst: Hampton engaging in a little Fung Shui here in the ring.
JS: I went to a massage once, Asian.
Myst: Yeah?
JS: Yeah, good stuff.
Myst: I went once too. I said, Mrs. Styles, me want you to love my cock long time. And you know what she said?
JS: Sigh, what?
Myst: She said "Myst, your cock is definitely bigger than my husbands, my sons, Gordon Ramsays, and the Silicon Toads."
JS: Wow, how convienient of her to make references to everyone there. That's pretty good.
Myst: Hey, it's YOUR mom that's the slut.
Dudley gets back to his feet, and climbs up onto the ring apron.
Hampton charges Dudley while Dudley is standing on the apron, SPEAR THROUGH THE ROPES ONTO DUDLEY, DUDLEY FALLS OFF THE APRON, THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, THE TABLE DOESN'T GIVE WAY, DUDLEY JUST BOUNCES ON TOP!!!!
"HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT"
Hampton, still in the ring, stops for a moment to catch his breath, as Dudley lays on the center of the table.
JS: Good LORD!
Myst: Well, we did ask for that reinforced table after last time. But YEESH!
Hampton climbs the top rope...CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH THE TABLE ONTO DUDLEY!!!!
JS: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Myst: JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!!!
The two lie in the wreckage of table, as Dan Hampton hit just as hard as Dudley.
Cut back to Lou E. Dangerously, applauding up in the skybox.
JS: Lou E. is definitely enjoying this now! If Hampton can pull through, he might have this one in the bag!
Hampton crawls into the ring, as Dudley follows suit. They are both down in the ring, as the referee begins to count
JS: The referee has no choice here but to count them both, if they can't get to their feet, they cant wrestle.
Myst: But we need a winner! This is horseshit!
The referee counts
1.....
2....
3....
4....
Hampton starts to get up
5...
6...
Hampton is totally to his feet, now
7...
DUDLEY SPRINGS UP AND FOWARD , SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF DAN HAMPTON! Hampton goes down! Dudley is on his feet, as he raises his arm in victory!
Myst: DUDLEY HAS A SECOND WIND!!!
Dudley picks Hampton up, and puts him in a fireman's carry...he walks over towards the turnbuckle with the table...LIVING DANGEROUSLY, THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!!
"ICW, ICW, ICW"
We see Lou E. Dangerously in the skybox, looking disgusted, as Constantine is leaning foward in his seat, hands folded.
JS: Well, Lou E. isn't liking it, but Dave Dudley definitely just got DANGEROUS!
Myst: What a death valley driver through that table here, Joey. Dan Hampton is losing steam here.
Dudley stops for a moment to catch his breath. He pulls Hampton out of the corner, and out of the table, into the center of the ring, and locks in the SHARPSHOOTER!
JS: Dudley looking to make Hampton quit!
The referee asks Hampton if he wants to tap out, as he shakes his head no. Dudley leans back, as the sweat drips from his forhead. He says "QUIT, DAMN YOU! QUIT!!!
Myst: Dudley, the master of this finishing hold, is really cranking it in on Hampton here.
JS: WILL IT BE ENOUGH TO MAKE DAN HAMPTON SUBMIT?
HAMPTON POWERS OUT OF THE SHARPSHOOTER, DUDLEY GOES FLYING INTO THE CHAIR!
He stops himself, catching the chair. Dudley turns around as Hampton gets to his feet, Hampton goes for the MEWDAN CLUTCH once more, but Dudley avoids it, flapjack into the air, 4D!!!!!! THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!!!!
JS: HE HIT THE 4D!!!!!!
Myst: No way! NO WAY!
JS: DUDLEY MAKES THE COVER!
1...
2.....
KICKOUT, BY DAN HAMPTON!!!!!!
Myst: What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?
JS: HAMPTON KICKED OUT, HAMPTON KICKED OUT!
Dudley looks at the referee, complaining of a slow count, as the fans are going wild, cheering on Hampton. Dudley gets to his knees, hands on his knees, and takes a deep breath. Dudley then gets to his feet, and grabs the referee, berating him.
JS: COME ON, THE REFEREE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
Myst: Dudley is blaming the referee for not getting the win there!
Dan Hampton crawls up behind Dudley who has the referee in his hands, LOW BLOW!!!!!!!!
JS: Oh my God!
Dudley walks fowards away from Hampton, Hampton gets to his feet, runs towards Dudley from behind, FAME-ASSER, THE CUT THE TENSION, ON THE OPEN STEEL CHAIR! DUDLEY GOES FACE-FIRST!!!!
JS: OH MY GOD!
Myst: Dudley is probably losing some TEETH after that one!
Dudley is busted wide open, after the move. Hampton looks to have tendered his leg a bit on the move, perhaps it was botched a little. Nonetheless, Dudley, busted wide open, struggles to get to his feet.
Hampton picks up the steel chair.
JS: Dudley is in trouble here!
HAMPTON WITH THE CHAIR SHOT TO THE FACE OF DUDLEY!!!!!
Myst: HAMPTON PLAYS A ROUSING ROUND OF MUSICAL CHAIRS WITH DUDLEY!
Dudley drops to his knees, as Hampton lines up Dudley for another chair shot!
JS: HAMPTON GOING TO STRIKE AGAIN ON DUDLEY!
Myst: Dudley can't even SEE he's bleeding from his forehead, and looks like his nose!
Hampton rears back for another chairshot, but Dudley, on his knees, falls to the side, ending up laying on his back. Hampton throws the chair down on top of Dudley, and climbs the top rope.
JS: Hampton was going to hit Dudley with another chairshot, but Dudley couldn't take another one!
Myst: Hampton is going up top with that leg he may have injured a bit! Not a good idea!
Hampton isn't SLOW to climb the turnbuckle, but he's not as fast as he should be. Hampton perches on the top rope, wobbly...
FLIES OFF WITH THE PHOENIX SPLASH ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR, ONTO DUDLEY! SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS!!!!
JS: THAT'S IT!
Hampton makes the cover!!!
1.....
2........
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, receiving a title shot, and entry into the Insanity Cell match, Dan Hampton
"Past Tense, Future Perfect" hits again, as Hampton raises his arm in victory, the other arm holding his midsection.
Dudley lies flat in the ring
Myst: HAMPTON IS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!!
JS: DAVE DUDLEY IS...
Myst: Yeah, he's gone.
JS: Gone. Wow.
Hampton leans back in the corner, as Dudley stirs, and gets to his hands and knees.
Cut to Lou E. Dangerously in the skybox, applauding Dan Hampton. Calvin remains seated, and claps.
The fans chant:
"NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOOD BYE"
Dudley looks around the arena, as the blood has made his face a crimson mask.
JS: Myst, ladies, gentlemen...we've just seen the LAST of Dave Dudley, here in ICW.
Dudley gets to his feet, as the fans remain chanting. Hampton stares down Dudley from the corner, as Dudley stands in the middle of the ring.
Myst: I can't believe it. It's the end of an era!
Hampton walks out of the turnbuckle, towards Dudley. The two stare each other down.
JS: What's this now?
They stare each other down...HAMPTON EXTENDS HIS HAND TO DUDLEY!
Myst: Dan Hampton is the ULTIMATE in sportsmanship.
JS: These two men used to be BEST FRIENDS!
Hampton looks at Dudley, hand extended for a handshake. Hampton waves his hand a bit, motioning for Dudley to take it.
Dudley looks around at the arena.
JS: Will he shake Hampton's hand?
.....
Dudley turns around and walks out of the ring, as Hampton still has his hand extended. The fans BOOOOO.
JS: Dudley isn't having that show of respect from Dan Hampton. The fans here hate it!
Myst: Dudley looks like he wants to go out on his own accord.
Dudley stands in front of the ring, hands on his waist. He surveys the arena. He then walks up the ramp.
He doesn't look back.
JS: What a night here folks, Dan Hampton is the new #1 contender, reciever of a title shot he can use ANYTIME in the next year, AND an entrance into the Insanity Cell main event at July2Die.
Myst: And on the opposite side of the coin, Dave Dudley, the man who DEFINES ICW...gone. Forced to leave ICW. Joey, like the sands of time, these ARE the days of our lives.
JS: For Myst and the rest of the gang at ICW, this is Joey Styles, good night, and we'll see you next week!
The last shot is of Dan Hampton looking at the ramp hands on his waist, as the fans cheer him on.
end transmission
Man: Dude, that's my car!
Dave Dudley kicks the man in the balls, throws him in the air, and drops him with the 4D!!!! THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!
He then goes over to another vehicle, a 1975 Green Chevy Nova, and gets in. He fires it up, and peels off, driving towards...the ARENA ENTRANCE???
Joey Styles: What the fuck, Chuck?
Myst: This is going to be the most INSANE THURSDAY INSANE THURSDAY EVER, JOEY!
The TIT intro package rolls, and we cut to the innards of the ICW Arena, in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. A big banner of Lou E. Dangerously hangs above the ScottieTRON above the stage. The pyro goes off in the rafters, and on the stage, and the camera pans to show the signs in the crowd:
"SAVE US, Y2A!"
"MYST IS PYST!"
"MORRIGAN WAS ROBBED"
"THE AGE OF CONSTANTINE HAS BEGUN!"
"I WANT TO MOVE TO MYSTLEIGHARIA!"
"FENYX RISING!"
"I'LL BE LONE WOLF'S CUB!"
"DUDE YOU'RE A GUY!"
"STILL, I'LL SUCK ON THOSE-"
"HELL-O!"
"AGAIN, HOW'D YOU GET BOLD IN YOUR SIGN?"
"WWW.MYSPACE.COM/MISTERTESTIFY"
The camera settles on the announce position
Joey Styles: Hello everyone and WELCOME TO THURSDAY INSANE THURSDAY! I'm the voice of ICW, Joey Styles along with my broadcast colleague, the ENIGMATIC, PROPHETICAL, ROCKY, BENTLEYdriving...
Myst: NUMBER ONE STUNNA!!!!!!!!
JS: MYST! Replacing our very own Gordon Ramsay as he suffered some serious injury at the Triple Terror Tournament.
Myst: Yeah, and we'll be chatting with Gordon live VIA SATELLITE! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, we have a new ICW Champion!
JS: Calvin Constantine, indeed, folks, let's take you back to last Thursday...
Highights from the Triple Terror Tournament PPV are shown
First round, Dudley losing to Hampton in quite possibly the best match of the night.
Morrigan knocking out Kayne, and then embracing in the ring
Constantine waiting for his opponent, a no show, then immediate second round battle with Gladiator, as Constantine escapes the cage with some help from LB
Second round Morrigan and Hampton, brother vs sister, Dudley interfering, Kayne interfering, Morrigan goes over the cage, Dudley superplexed through the announce table OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE BY HAMPTON!
Dudley wheeled out in stretcher
Hook getting in Calvin's face
Main event Constantine vs Morrigan Hook coming out costing Constantine the match, Constantine battling back, ScottiePP7 showing up helping Hook decimate Calvin, Morrigan and Kayne taking out Hook and PP7, Lou Dangerously lowers the cage making it the first ever CAGE-LADDER match, Morrigan and Constantine DIVING OFF OF THE CAGE HANGING ON THE CABLE HOLDING THE ICW TITLE
Lone wolf coming in and destroying Morrigan, Constantine jumping off the cage to retrieve the belt and become the champion!
JS: What a night it was, and Myst, what another great night we have tonight, as we look above the stage at the ever present face of our General Manager, Lou E. Dangerously.
Myst: He's a handsome man, kind of like how X-Dude's mom is a handsome woman.
JS: Man, that's low.
Myst: Remember when EFWO used a knock off of you called Joey Splinter?
JS: He was a knock off of me? I thought he was related to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Myst: Nope. I'll tell you who is, though...TODD PETTENGILL!
cut to backstage, where we see the toddster
Todd Pettengill: Guys {finishing a sandwich, looks like pastrami}, we're backstage waiting for Dudley, who drove a car into the arena...wow! The guy moves fast! He's like a power ranger, or Walker Texas Ranger, or some other shows that were on in the mid 90s. XENA! Right? Right? What are these 90's references doing for you?
Myst: Eh, they're ok, I guess.
JS: Could be funnier.
TP: Look, I can try harder. Look, my initials are TP. TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE! REMEMBER THAT? BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD??
JS: Look Todd, we gotta go...
TP: No, please. PLEASE COME ON. I NEED THIS JOB.
JS: Look we're not saying you're fired or anything. We can't even do that. It's not you, it's me.
TP: GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE. DON'T LEAVE ME!
Suddenly, Dave Dudley tears ass through the hallway in his car, and drives through the arena entrance, as the fans go wild for such a crazy arrival. He drives up to the ring, leans out, revs the car, and shuts it off, entering the ring.
JS: Well, he's here. He looks pissed.
Myst: Does he look PYST?
JS: No, just pissed.
Myst: Darn...
Dave Dudley: SHUT UP. ALL OF YOU. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.
the fans chant, asshole, asshole
Dave Dudley: I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS. EVER SINCE I HIRED LOU E. DANGEROUSLY TO BE THE GENERAL MANAGER, HE'S DONE NOTHING BUT SCREW ME OVER AT EVERY TURN.
The fans boo
Dave Dudley: And now I'm in a loser must leave ICW match? THAT'S HORSE SHIT. LOU, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW.
"Apocalypse Please" hits, and out comes ICW General Manager, Lou E. Dangerously to a round of applause.
JS: The fans here in Philly love Lou E.!!!
Dangerously enters the ring, and grabs a microphone
Lou E. Dangerously: Now, now. Before we get into a beef, look at that pretty mug up there above the stage! That's my way of saying "I'M WATCHING YOU, ICW"! HAHA!
The fans cheer
Lou E. Dangerously: Back to you, Mr. Dudley. You were saying something?
Dave Dudley: It's all connected. You understand? All of this twelve nonsense. It was a ruse. TO BLINDSIDE ME.
Lou E. Dangerously: What the hell are you talking about?
Dave Dudley: You used to be my best friend. My closest ally. But the money talked, as it always does. You turned your back on me. You turned your back on ICW. You sold us out.
Lou E. Dangerously: What the hell? I LOVE ICW. I live for ICW. The LWN, the EWA, The EFWO, all of those places are DEAD, Dave. DEAD. All that remains is ICW. You are sick.
Dave Dudley: No, they're still out there. Dave Dudley won't rest until he finds out the truth. They're up to something, I can feel it. It can't be as simple as it seems.
Lou E. Dangerously: Which is exactly why you're going to be in this match. You're too unstable, Dave. You're a liability. Dan Hampton got with me, and he helped cook up this match. He's so confident in winning that he's putting his career on the line, to end yours. We've both got nothing left to say about Dave Dudley. You're finished. And if you do somehow manage to win the match tonight, I hope you can get your shit together, and reclaim your past glory. Because it's all gone, Dave. It's all GONE. You've wasted away your career into what? Some conspiracy theories? Give me a break. The only conspiracy around here is how you managed to stay in control for so long. Well not anymore, jack.
Dave Dudley: Lou, don't turn your back me...
Lou E. Dangerously: I'm not turning my back on Dave Dudley. Dave Dudley turned his back on me. FINITO.
Lou drops the mic, and leaves the ring, as Dave looks confused in the ring. He then leaves the ring, as we go to commercial...
Commercial break:
www.egotastic.com
Back to live TV, as we see Fenyx Kayne warming up for his match tonight. Suddenly, Pyro walks up!
Pyro: What's up, man?
Fenyx Kayne: Hey, it's good to see you.
Pyro: Can you believe it? The big leagues. ICW! I made it!
Fenyx Kayne: Glad you could make it. Listen, you got my back tonight? You got Morrigan's back?
Pyro: Absolutely. I'm about to set the ICW world ablaze tonight. It's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!
Fenyx Kayne: Spoken like a true pyromaniac.
Pyro: Well, what can I say? My folks shouldn't have left me around matches as a baby.
Fenyx Kayne: Hook, PP7, you guys shouldn't have meddled in Morrigan's affairs at the TTT. Sure, you were after Constantine, but you would have taken out Morrigan after that. And homie don't play that. We're not about gang-banging and shit.
Suddenly, Sylver Morrigan walks up
Sylver Morrigan: Well, at least in the ring.
Fenyx Kayne: ...right. Anyway. Yeah. You guys better get ready, because we're about to win that tag team match, and then I'll go on to face Calvin Constantine next week for the ICW World Heavyweight Championship.
Sylver Morrigan: You will?
Fenyx Kayne: Yeah.
Sylver Morrigan: Are you forgetting that I made it to the final match at the TTT? That I was the only person who wrestled THREE TIMES in one night? I deserve the title shot.
Pyro: She's got a point.
Fenyx Kayne: Look, we're friends, and-
Sylver Morrigan: Friends?
Fenyx Kayne: ...look, we'll figure it out.
Pyro: Spoken like a true pussy.
Fenyx Kayne: What?
Morrigan walks off, as Kayne and Pyro follow
Pyro: Dude, you are so whipped...
Cut to another part of the arena, where we see Johnny Hook and ScottiePP7.
ScottiePP7: Tonights the night. ICW. Philadelphia. THE LAND OF INSANITY. ScottiePP7 makes his return to action, WITH MY million dollar manpower, Johnny Hook.
Johnny Hook: That's right Scott. ICW, be warned. It's a new day. And these two guys right here? They're the best money can buy. Hook and PP7. We're going to change the ICW landscape. And one of us will be the NEXT ICW World Heavyweight Champion, you can take that to the bank.
ScottiePP7: You can be rest assured that we won't have to bicker and argue about who gets the title shot, after we win this match. Because the money...always...talks...
Suddenly, Lone Wolf walks up.
Lone Wolf And Lone Wolf listens.
ScottiePP7: Oh? Perhaps we could pursuade you to be of some interest in our affairs tonight? We need some backup. Make it gang rules, 3-on-3.
Lone Wolf I-
Suddenly, Wolf's handler, Helter Skelter walks up and interrupts Wolf.
Helter Skelter Sorry, boys. Mr. Wolf will no longer be bought. He's a free agent, now. No man controls him, except me. He's got his own agendas...
ScottiePP7: Oh really?
Johnny Hook: Screw these guys, Scottie.
Scottie and Hook walk off camera, as LW and HS remain in frame.
Lone Wolf Why didn't you let me pounce on them?
Helter Skelter Don't worry about it. Our benefactor brought us to ICW to do a couple pieces of business. We did what we were paid to do. We've got the money, now we can do whatever we want.
Lone Wolf I came back for lots of reasons...money. Respect. Championships. But more importantly, to inflict PAIN. There's someone here who needs... a refresher.
Helter Skelter Refreshing indeed.
Lone Wolf I can't wait to get into the ring, though. I have to get the pain out, by any means necessary.
Helter Skelter Hopefully we'll try to get you a match booked, next week...
HS and LW walk off, as we see a man's eyes in the shadows...
The Nameless: Tonight...
Cut to the arena
JS: Well, lots of backstage happenings here in ICW, Myst.
Myst: Absolutely, Joey! It wouldn't be ICW, otherwise!
The bell sounds
"DIY" by KMFDM hits, and out comes The Gladiator, Centurius Maximus to a mixed reaction. He poses on the ramp, wearing roman gladiator armor, as pyro goes off around him.
JS: The Gladiator coming off of his match with Calvin Constantine at the TTT. He looks in pretty good shape.
Myst: You've got to think, Gladiator is going to want a piece of Constantine now that he's the new ICW Champion.
JS: In the state of ICW, wins and losses can move you up and down the rankings faster than ever before. It's truly all up for grabs!
Gladiator hits the ring, and waits, as "Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!" hits, and out comes Cromwell Welkins, making his ICW debut.
JS: The fans pretty quiet here, for Welkins. He's a virtual unknown here in the states.
Myst: He's the Yahtzee Champion, Joey!
Welkins enters the ring, and poses for the fans. The Gladiator runs over and starts attacking him!
Ding, Ding
The bell sounds, the match is underway. Gladiator strikes with lefts and rights but CW battles back, boxing Gladiator out of the turnbuckle! CW whips Maximus into the ropes, and clotheslines him over the top rope!
JS: The action already spilling out to the outside!
CW stomps Maximus as he lies on the floor. CW grabs Maximus' head and slams it into the steel steps!
CW raises his arm up to the crowd, and KICKS Maximus in the face, with the back of Maximus' head hitting the steel stairs!
Myst: Welkins just CURB-CHECKED Maximus, here!
CW rolls inside the ring to avoid the referee's count.
The Gladiator crawls back into the ring, stopping the referee's count out for him, as well.
JS: You know, The Gladiator isn't looking very focused, tonight.
Myst: His mind definitely seems elsewhere, Joey.
CW picks up Gladiator...and rolls him up in a SMALL PACKAGE!
1...
2...
kickout, by Gladiator.
CW grabs a reverse waistlock on Gladiator, REVERSE ROLLUP!
1...
2...
kickout, by Gladiator.
JS: Cromwell Welkins showing his mastery of pinning combinations here, as he looks for a quick win!
Myst: Well, that is the key in Yahtzee, Joey. WIN QUICK!
JS: No...it's about points.
Myst: Fuck you. And Yahtzee. You're a Nahtzee, you fucking anti-semite.
JS: I'M JEWISH!
CW smiles to the fans, as he motions that he's going to set up Maximus for another pin attempt...but The Gladiator counters with the ROMAN COLLAR twist of fate!
The fans pop for the sudden impact move!
JS: Wow, out of desperation there, The Gladiator hits the Roman Collar!
Myst: That move looks familiar...
The Gladiator struggles to get to his feet, as he gives Cromwell Welkins the THUMBS DOWN!
JS: That's it! He's calling for the end!
Gladiator locks CW in a double underhook.
JS: He's setting him up for THE ENLIGHTENMENT!
Myst: The enlightenment? Hmmm...
BUT CROMWELL REVERSES INTO A BACKDROP!
Cromwell then picks The Gladiator up, and tosses him over the top rope, to the outside.
The referee motions for CW to stop as he tries to go after him, but WELKINS ELBOWS THE REFEREE! The ref is OUT!
JS: Oh come ON!
Cromwell grabs a steel chair...
Myst: Welkins looking to BOGGLE HIS BRAINS OUT!
Welkins raises the steel chair, but Gladiator to his feet, boot to the midsection of CW, he drops the chair, Gladiator hits THE SAXA BOTTOM on the floor!
JS: SAXA BOTTOM, SAXA BOTTOM!
Myst: Saxa bottom? What the hell...
Suddenly, "Danger Is Go" hits, and PYRO EXPLODES FROM THE STAGE!
JS: HERE COMES LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!
But there is no LB on the stage. Gladiator looks up, and around looking for LB, before finally staring back at the stage again.
Myst: Where is he?
LIGHTNING BOLT COMES FROM UNDER THE RING, THUNDER CLAP SUPERKICK TO GLADIATOR! Gladiator bounces backwards into the announce table, leaning on it, as LB lunges foward, headbutting Gladiator in the face, repeatedly
JS: LB has assaulted Gladiator!
Myst: They're right here in front of us!
Welkins climbs back up onto the apron, as he watches LB attack Gladiator. LB positions Gladiator on the Table, and climbs up onto the apron, himself.
JS: Lightning Bolt looking to put the end to The Gladiator here!
LB motions to the crowd for a BALL LIGHTNING 450 SPLASH!
Cromwell yells at LB, from the otherside of the apron. LB LOOKS AT CROMWELL, and charges towards him, on the apron!
JS: LB is going to dish it out to Cromwell, too!
LB runs into CW, but Welkins turns it into a SUFFRAGETTE CITY SPINEBUSTER OFF THE APRON, ONTO GLADIATOR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
ICW, ICW, ICW
JS: OH MY GOD!!!!
THE TABLE EXPLODES!
Cromwell, the only survivor, pulls Gladiator from the wreckage, and rolls him into the ring.
He makes the cover, as the referee slowly gets back up to count it!
1....
2......
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, Cromwell Welkins
"Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!" hits again, as Cromwell raises his arms in victory, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. The referee raises his arm up, but Cromwell throws it down, and pushes the referee down. Welkins heads back to the locker rooms.
JS: Welkins victorious in his ICW debut, LB and Gladiator are in a mess of wreckage!
Myst: Get these doofuses out of here! Get us a new table!
cut to backstage, where we see Dan Hampton being talked to by Todd Pettengill.
Todd Pettengill: Kwang...how do you feel about your match tonight as you team up with Adam Bomb to take on The Headshrinkers?
Dan Hampton: ...the FUCK? Dude. Why am I always interviewed by idiots? Tonight, I put the final word to my fabled rivalry with Dave Dudley. Friends. Enemies. It doesn't matter, this is it. This is the last time. Tonight I put Dave Dudley out of wrestling, but more important than THAT, I recieve a world heavyweight title shot, to USE WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.
the fans cheer
Dan Hampton: As for the Insanity Cell? July2Die? Maybe I'll decide to use my title shot in it, maybe not. Maybe I'll figure out a way to get into it, without using the title shot. Who knows? It's all up for grabs. It's pretty good to be the Golden One, right now. And I'll soon have the gold to match the name. DIG IT!
Todd Petterngill: Hey, I get that Macho Man reference. Finally, something to work with! Back to you, Rob Bartlett!
JS: Lou E. Dangerously. Fire this guy. Please?
Cut to backstage, with Lou E. Dangerously.
Lou E. Dangerously: I'm afraid we can't. He has nude pictures of my cousins in his possession. Dirty little blackmailer. He and Marc Summers used to do a lot of coke back in the day at Nickelodeon studios during "Double Dare" tapings. The guy is Twisted Crazy.
Myst: Well, I hear you have an important announcement about next week's Thursday, Insane Thursday.
Lou E. Dangerously: That's right. Due to all of the craziness running around with tables and people being put through them, I'm announcing a one night INVITATIONAL Battle Royal, TABLES Style.
JS: Oh?
Lou E. Dangerously: It's going to be an over the top rope battle royal, but the ringside area will be LINED with tables. You get tossed over the top, you fall through a table, we're all happy. Right?
Myst: Right ON!
Lou E. Dangerously: And the winner? Well, it's easy. The winner will recieve a GUARANTEED ENTRY IN THE INSANITY CELL MAIN EVENT FOR THE ICW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AT JULY2DIE.
the fans cheer
Lou E. Dangerously: Not only that, but I MIGHT also have news about the installation of the brand new ICW NAME YOUR OWN CHAMPIONSHIP!
The fans CHEER!
Lou E. Dangerously: The NYO champion will be able to name his title accordingly, and while champion, able to set any kind of stipulations that may come with being the champion. It kind of lets us change it up all the time.
JS: Wow, that sounds like a chaotic situation.
Lou E. Dangerously: Exactly. It's kinda what I do.
Myst: Who's going to be in the battle royal?
Lou E. Dangerously: Well, how about...The Gladiator. And Lightning Bolt. Let them work it out in the battle royal. And why not Cromwell? He can get dirty. And both members of the LOSING team of tonight's next match, Morrigan and Kayne vs. Hook and PP7.
JS: Wow!
Lou E. Dangerously: And a few more, since it's an open invitation. You want in? YOU KNOW WHERE MY OFFICE IS.
Dangerously walks off camera.
JS: Well, that match is next!
commercial break:
Promo for July2Die:
davedudleyicw.proboards101.com/index.cgi?board=ppvsspecialevents&action=display&thread=298&page=1
back to live TV
The bell sounds, and "Sick of Life" by Godsmack hits, as Sylver Morrigan comes out to a huge fan reaction.
She enters the ring and salutes the fans, as she looks a little worse for wear.
JS: These fans appreciate her effort in the TTT last week. She almost had it in the bag.
Myst: It's hard to wrestle three times in one night, Joey. She did that, and then some, as all three matches were grueling, to say the least.
Morrigan waits, as "Burn Back The Sun" hits, and out comes Fenyx Kayne, accompanied by Pyro. The fans cheer for both the ICW newcomers, as they enter the ring, and hi five each other and Morrigan.
Myst: Could we see the beginnings of a new faction here, in Morrigan, Kayne, and Pyro?
JS: Who knows, Myst. They're definitely friendly with each other.
"More Human Than Human" hits, and out comes Johhny Hook, as the fans boo. He is holding a steel chair, as he holds it up in the air. The Zombie stops, and "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" hits signalling the arrival of the Half a Million Dollar Mogul, ScottiePP7! He's also holding a steel chair. They walk together to the ring, as the fans boo...
JS: ScottiePP7, returning to ICW after years, and he's got a newfound glory, and a new protegy or enforcer if you will, in Hook.
Myst: He's kind of like a hired gun, I think. His services were called upon to help Scottie get back some power, in ICW.
The two enter the ring, as they hold the chairs up, and taunt Morrigan, Kayne, and Pyro.
Myst: Scottie and Hook are standing tall!
Pyro leaves the ring, as Scottie and Hook THROW the chairs at Kayne and Morrigan! They both catch them, but Hook and Scottie SLIDE BETWEEN THEIR LEGS! They hit SCHOOLBOYS!
1...
2...
Kickout, by Morrigan and Kayne
JS: Hook and Scottie aren't fooling around here!
Hook and Scottie get up, as do Morrigan and Kayne. Morrigan and Kayne both go for clotheslines, but Hook and PP7 duck! Hook and PP7 clothesline Morrigan and Kayne out of the ring!
Myst: Hook and PP7 are ON THE MONEY!
Pyro helps Morrigan and Kayne back into the ring, as the match finally evens out into a real tag team match.
It's PP7 and Kayne, starting it off.
PP7 and Kayne lock up, and Kayne punches PP7 back into the Kayne/Morrigan corner. FK punches away on PP7. Kayne whips PP7 into the ropes, attempts a dropkick, but misses! PP7 grabs Kayne's legs on the way down, and tags in Hook. Hook with the slingshot leg drop from the apron! And the cover!
1...
2...
Kickout, by Fenyx Kayne.
JS: Great springboard into the legdrop by Hook. The guy CAN wrestle, Myst.
Myst: When he wants to. He's an exceptional brawler, however, as he's proving it right now.
Hook starts to pummel away on Kayne, as he puts the boots to Kayne's left knee.
Myst: Every good brawler knows that it's just not enough. You need to be able to dissect your opponent, piece by piece. And that's what he is seemingly doing here, with Kayne.
Hook works over the knee a little bit more, before putting the boots to Kayne's back, and dropping elbows to the back. Hook then locks in a Boston Crab!
JS: Hook goes from the knee to the back and finally locking in the Boston Crab, which targets both areas.
Myst: I think Hook is on top of his game, definitely. He's not showing us everything he knows.
Kayne is in agony, as he stretches for his partner, Morrigan, to make a tag. Morrigan rallies up the fans, as the fans chant
"KAYNE, KAYNE, KAYNE"
Kayne pulls Hook closer to his corner...
closer...
closer...
almost there...
BUT HOOK PULLS HIM BACK INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
JS: Kayne SO close here to making the tag, but Hook just pulls him back away from Morrigan.
Myst: I tell you, Kayne is full of determination right here, Joey! And the fans are behind him!
Kayne is in payne...
The referee asks him if he wants to tap out, but Fenyx shakes his head NO! Hook repeatedly says "ASK HIM!" Kayne shakes his head no, as Morrigan is trying to help Kayne get some momentum by continuing to rally the fans.
JS: Kayne is going to have no CHOICE but to tap here!
Myst: KAYNE IS IN PAYNE!
Yeah, I said that already.
Scottie looks at Hook, and crosses his throat, Crippler-style. Hook releases the crab, and stands up.
Myst: He released the hold?
JS: Scottie is motioning for something else, here.
Myst: They really want to make an impact. First the TTT, now the decimation of Fenyx Kayne!
Hook picks up Kayne, and sets him up, vertical suplex.
JS: He's going for HOOK'S HELL!
Hook, going for the vertical suplex into the neckbreaker he likes to call Hook's Hell, has Kayne up in the air...
AND HE DROPS HIM!
BUT KAYNE FLIPS OUT OF IT, LANDING ON HIS FEET BEHIND HOOK, AND DIVES INTO THE CORNER, MAKING THE TAG TO MORRIGAN!!!
JS: MORRIGAN IS IN! MORRIGAN IS IN!!!
Morrigan enters the ring and hits Hook with a HUGE DROPKICK! Hook falls to the outside, as Morrigan pulls PP7 into the ring, and starts to kick away on him!
On the outside, Pyro puts the boots to Hook, before rolling him into the ring.
Morrigan whips PP7 into the ropes, hits him with a front flip into a hurricanrana, BAD MAGICK! PP7 is flung through the ropes, to the outside.
Myst: Morrigan really cleaning house here!
JS: Which is where a woman belongs!
Myst: {the needle off of the record screeching noise}
Morrigan grabs Hook, who wobbles to his feet, BREAK THE CYCLE!!! Hook is down with the cobra clutch applied on him!
JS: THAT'S IT!!
The referee checks to see if Hook is going to submit, when suddenly, LONE WOLF appears walking down the ramp. He points a baseball bat at Morrigan, and laughs.
JS: What the hell?
Myst: This must have been the other business they were talking about earlier!
Morrigan, seeing Wolf, is ENRAGED. She lets go of Hook, and chases Wolf to the backstage area.
JS: Morrigan has just left the match!
Pyro slides into the ring and talks to the referee. Fenyx Kayne enters the ring, limping a bit. They talk with the referee.
Myst: What's going on here now, Joseph?
Kayne, Pyro, and the referee turn to face the announce table/time keeper position, as the ring announcer notifies the arena
PYRO WILL REPLACE MORRIGAN IN THIS MATCH!
The fans cheer!
JS: Well, Pyro, the newcomer, is replacing Morrigan here in this match apparently.
Myst: I can't believe Morrigan left her partners like that!
Pyro and Kayne turn around...TO MEET HOOK AND PP7!!!! SCOTTIE HITS THE MARTINI DDT ON PYRO, HOOK HITS HOOK'S HELL ON KAYNE, THEY BOTH MAKE COVERS!
1...
2...
3!!!!!!!!!
Winners, by pinfall, Johnny Hook and ScottiePP7
The fans boo!
JS: I can't believe it! Morrigan practically cost them the match!
Myst: Hook and PP7 get the win, and Pyro, who wasn't OFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY in this match, has suffered his first loss here in ICW!
JS: Don't forget Kayne, who has still yet to WIN a match here in ICW.
Hook and PP7 head back to the backstage area, celebrating, as Pyro and Kayne sit in the ring, holding their heads, wondering what the hell just happened.
JS: Hook or PP7 will face Calvin Constantine NEXT week, for the ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Myst: Who's it gonna be?
We see Lone Wolf walking through the hall, laughing, in the backstage area.
JS: Looks like Wolf lost Morrigan.
Wolf taps his bat, as he walks thru the hallway...
Suddenly, the lights go out!
Myst: What?
Lone Wolf: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Voice: I told you that I wouldn't be having this kind of shit on my watch, here in ICW.
JS: It's The Nameless, he's here!
Lone Wolf: Show yourself, coward!
Voice: YOU'RE ALL COWARDS!
The lights come on, revealing the mysterious Nameless to be none other than...JOHNNY Q. PUBLIC!
JS: Qpublic? Former ICW World Champion, QPublic!!!
Wolf swings his bat at QPublic, but QPublic ducks, with the bat hitting the wall. LW drops the bat, QPublic hits the ATONEMENT SUPERKICK TO THE BACK OF WOLF'S NECK! WOLF'S FACE BOUNCES OFF THE WALL.
QPublic stands over Wolf.
JS: Good LORD!
QPublic: This isn't about you, Wolf. This isn't about anyone. It's about EVERYONE! ICW needs some first class heroes. And I'm here to be the hero. I stand up for the INTEGRITY of the ICW. For everything that's right. In some ways, I'm the antithesis of ICW. It's time to right wrongs. To show people that someone can stand up for themselves, still. To show the world why I've always been the best. You'll be the first example. Next week, there will be another. Why? Because I'm MADE BY THE PEOPLE...
FOR THE PEOPLE!
QPublic walks off camera, as LW stirs... getting up, holding the back of his neck.
Suddenly, Morrigan walks up, and looks down on the fallen LW...
Commercial break:
RELIVE THE LAST LWN MATCH EVER!
THAT'S RIGHT, ON ICW.COM YOU CAN WATCH LWN-ON-DEMAND, 24-7! WITNESS THE VERY LAST MATCH EVER ON LWN TV, A DEBATE BETWEEN HOYAKILLAH, AND Y2JLIONTAMER!
ALL THIS AND MORE ON SUCK ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Back to live TV, where Gordon Ramsay is joining us, live, via satellite...in the background, a sign that says SAVE US, Y2A!
JS: Welcome back to Thursday, Insane Thursday and we're now joined by CHEF Gordon Ramsay, Gordon, good to see you, how are you doing?
Gordon Ramsay: I'm recovering well, y' fucking cunt. If it werent for the bugger actions of that blimey Myst fudgepacking cocksucker, I WOULD BE THERE WITH YOU TODAY AT THE ICW ARENA. FUCKING RUBBISH.
Myst: LISTEN BITCH. YOU WANT TO GO? WE CAN GO.
Gordon Ramsay: The fuckin' painkillers I'm on for me' face has made me all limp-dicked. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLEASE THE WIMMENS? BLOODY HELL, IT'S RAW! IT'S FUCKING RAW!
Myst: You know what I always say, Joey? I don't...
JS: Have sex with women who arent really fat?
Myst: No, I don't-
JS: Run over cats on Sundays and Wednesdays?
Myst: NO, I don't-
JS: Clean your ears until months later, when you build wax sculptures out of the ear wax?
Myst: NO, I DON'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE. DAMNIT!
JS: Oh, right. You do always say that.
Gordon Ramsay: I'm coming back for your bollocks, Myst. And when I do, there will be hell to pay. HELL'S KITCHEN TO PAY. FOR YOUR DINNER. WHICH WAS A FUCKING BEEF WELLINGTON. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Myst: I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO MYSTLEIGHARIA OR WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU'RE FROM, BROSEF. IN FACT, I'M COMING UP TO YOUR SATELLITE AND PUTTING MY FOOT BETWIXT YOUR BALLSAC, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, ASS FUCK?
JS: Um, Myst...
Myst: FUCKING FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
JS: Myst!
Myst: What?
Gordon has left the air, and we're now greeted by new ICW Champion Calvin Constantine, who Myst has been yelling at for a few seconds now.
Myst: Oh, fuck.
JS: Calvin, any thoughts on tonight?
Calvin Constantine: I've a few thoughts, Joey. Yeah. I do. See there's a HUGE list of people here in ICW that are gunning for me, for this. The ICW World Heavyweight Championship. And I'll be a fighting champion. Hook or PP7, whichever one, I want some payback for the TTT. You tried to take me out, it didn't work, and it won't work next week. And after that, I look foward to the Insanity Cell match, and successfully defending my title, and becoming the first man to walk IN and OUT of the Insanity Cell as the champion still.
JS: What about the challenge of Dudley, or Hampton, who, after tonight, one of them will be declared the new Number One Contender, and given a title shot that they can USE whenEVER they CHOOSE?
Calvin Constantine: Why did you say it all weird like that? USE whenEVER they CHOOSE?
Myst: It's cool, it's called Cheesin'.
Calvin Constantine: Cheesin'?
Myst: Yeah, because it's FON to DUE!
Calvin Constantine: Christ. Dudley or Hampton, it doesn't matter. They can choose their match whenever they want, for all I care. Hell they could use it to get straight into the Insanity Cell match at July2Die.
JS: That would be a smart move.
Calvin Constantine: What ISN'T a smart move, is wanting to challenge me in the first place. I plan on holding this belt for quite a while.
JS: Calvin, congratulations on the win, I look foward to seeing your title matches, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the show.
Calvin Constantine: Oh, I will. Lou E. Dangerously and I will be watching from the skybox here in the ICW Arena. With great interest.
Lou E. Dangerously walks into frame, with Calvin Constantine.
Lou E. Dangerously: That's right, boys. This guy is the MEAL TICKET! Congrats, Calvin. I wish you everything that you deserve, as champion.
Dangerously pats the ICW World Title, draped over CC's shoulder.
Lou E. Dangerously: And one more thing. I'm confident in many things. I'm confident in my boy here, Calvin Constantine, I'm confident in Dudley losing tonight. SO CONFIDENT IN BOTH THINGS...
Dan Hampton, if YOU BEAT DAVE DUDLEY TONIGHT, and send him packing...
You'll not only get a title shot, GOOD FOR ONE YEAR,
But you'll be in the INSANITY CELL MATCH, AT JULY2DIE, FOR THE ICW WORLDHEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Let's...get...DANGEROUS!
JS: GREAT NEWS! Well fans, it's time for our main event here of the evening, and history in the making. One man gets a title shot, becoming the number one contender, one man leaves ICW.
Myst: The saga of Dave Dudley and Dan Hampton comes to a close, and it happens NOW!
"Survivalism" hits, and out comes The Hardcore Icon, The Most Dangerous Man In Wrestling Today, Dave Dudley to a, believe it or not, mixed reaction. The former six time ICW Champion is looking severely crestfallen as he makes his way to the ring.
Myst: Fans, if you've been following Dave Dudley's recent events, he just found out that there was a mystery group running ICW and most of the wrestling world, but it was designed to keep Dudley himself in the shadows. In the end, Dudley destroyed the group, only to realize that he carried out the original plans of the group, consolodating the group and the corporate non-entity into one structured soverign entity. What will become of it is unknown, but it was all about money, not manipulation or conspiracy.
JS: Wow Myst, that pretty much sums it up.
Myst: THAT'S MY MOMMA!
Dudley enters the ring, and leans in the corner.
"Past Tense, Future Perfect" hits, signalling the arrival of the Five Time EWA Champion, Dan "The Golden Cereal Killing Mouth Puking Jaded Icon of Broctoon Action" Hampton. The fans greet him with a great applause.
Myst: Well, here comes TGCKMPJIOBA, Dan Hampton!
JS: What the FUCK? Well folks, there have only been a handful of people to have held both the ICW and EWA world titles in their careers: Dave Dudley, our very own Myst, Amalek, and Healius. Hampton with a win here, looks to become one step closer to becoming the 5th man to hold both titles.
Myst: A very hallowed list of competitors. Dave Dudley looks to become the first-ever SEVEN TIME World Heavyweight Champion, in any LWN-affiliated promotion.
JS: But one man, Myst. One man will wrestle his last ICW match, ever.
The fans are cheering as Dudley and Hampton stare each other down, in the ring.
The fans rumble with anticipation, as one man will leave ICW, after this match...
Ding, ding
The bell sounds as the fans are still cheering. The chants eventually turn into
"GOOD-BYE
DUD-LEY"
clap clap clapclapclap
"GOOD-BYE
DUD-LEY"
clap clap clapclapclap
the other side of the arena chants
"HAMP-TON
FUCK-YOU"
clap clap clapclap clap
"HAMP-TON
FUCK-YOU"
clap clap clapclapclap
and yet a third part of the arena chants:
"Y2A, Y2A, Y2A"
JS: This might be the most important match in ICW history, folks.
Myst: Now I must state, that this match has no effect on Dave Dudley's ownership of ICW. His ICW presence has already been eliminated with the inductment of Lou E. Dangerously as ICW GM. Until that contract expires, Dave Dudley cannot be on ICW tv as a management role, and if he should LOSE this match, he will be forced to keep to his offices at the ICW Headquarters, and not even be backstage in the lockeroom area during ICW shows. I was informed of this earlier today, by Lou E. Dangerously.
Camera cuts to Lou E. and Calvin Constantine watching from the skybox.
Dudley and Hampton pace around the ring. The fans quiet down, as the situation is as tense as it gets.
DD and DH lock up in a collar elbow. Dudley pushes Hampton back into the ropes and punches away. Hampton pushes Dudley out of the ropes, as Dudley replies with a fierce chop to the chest of Hampton.
Hampton kicks Dudley in the midsection, and whips him into the turnbuckle. Dudley hits the corner hard, and walks out towards the middle of the ring, as Hampton bounces off the ropes and hits a BULLDOG headlock on Dudley! Dudley's face is driven into the mat.
JS: Dudley goes head down, into the mat!
Myst: Joey like I said earlier this match is so important for both men. I would imagine, that the stipulation of the winner not only getting a good for one year title shot, but getting into the INSANITY CELL match applies to Dudley, too.
JS: Let's hope that this doesn't come back to bite Dangerously, on his ass.
Hampton picks Dudley up, and drops him with a DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK BRAINBUSTER, BRAIN SURGERY!
Hampton makes the cover!
1...
2...
kickout, by Dave Dudley.
Dudley is brought to his feet by Dan Hampton, who whips The Hardcore Icon into the ropes. Hampton goes for a clothesline, but Dudley ducks, and stops behind Dan Hampton, hitting Hampton with THE SUPER HERO SLAM!!!
Myst: ANGLE SLAM, ANGLE SLAM!
Dudley makes the cover-
1...
2...
kickout, by Dan Hampton.
Dudley brings Hampton to his feet, and sizes Hampton up...Dudley goes for the SUPERKICK but HAMPTON catches his foot! He spins Dudley around, STFUplex!!!!
JS: Dudley is down!
Hampton stops for a moment to catch is breath. He walks towards Dudley, to pick him up...SMALL PACKAGE TO HAMPTON, DUDLEY ROLLS HIM UP!
1....
2...
KICKOUT, by Dan Hampton.
Myst: These two men are pulling out ALL the stops. We're not going to see a finessed match, we're seeing two men desperate to survive!
Dudley gets to his feet first after the kickout. Dudley sizes up Hampton, again. Hampton gets to his feet, Dudley hits the 4D!!!!! THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!
JS: 4D! IT'S OVER!!!
HAMPTON COUNTERS!!! HE PUSHES DUDLEY INTO THE TURNBUCKLE, DUDLEY BOUNCES OFF, STERNUM FIRST, HAMPTON LOCKS IN THE MEWDAN CLUTCH!!!
Myst: MEWDAN CLUTCH ON DAVEACHU!!!!
Dudley wriggles and tries to break the hold. He walks Hampton back towards the turnbuckle, DUDLEY CLIMBS UP THE TURNBUCKLE WITH HIS FEET, AND FLIPS OVER HAMPTON, BREAKING THE HOLD. ON THE WAY DOWN, DUDLEY CATCHES HAMPTON'S ARM IN A ARM-DRAG TAKEDOWN, AND LOCKS IN THE SILENT SCREAM!!!
JS: GOOD LORD!
The referee is on hand to see if Hampton wants to tap out, but Hampton refuses. Dudley applies more pressure, but Hampton manages to flip Dudley over and roll him onto his side!
1...
2...
kickout, by Dave Dudley, as he releases the crossface. Dudley gets to his feet first, and motions for Hampton to 'come on'. Hampton gets up, holding his shoulder. Dudley sets him in position for GREETINGS FROM DUDLEYVILLE!!!
Myst: RIKISHI DRIVER!
Hampton flips out of it, and locks in a front reverse facelock, Johnny Ace style, and flips up the turnbuckle, flipping over Dudley, and dropping him with A REVERSE IMPLANT DDT, PURGATORY CHASM!!!!
The fans go wild!!!
JS: THAT'S IT! DUDLEY IS FINISHED!!!
Hampton makes a cover, is it enough?
1...
2...
KICKOUT, BY DAVE DUDLEY!!!
We see Lou E. Dangerously and Calvin Constantine in the skybox, watching. Lou is on his feet, while Calvin looks on calmly.
We see Morrigan, Kayne, and Pyro all watching a TV in the locker room, talking amongst themselves.
We see ScottiePP7 and Johnny Hook, arms crossed, standing in their luxurious locker room, watching the match, intently.
We see LB scribbling on a chalkboard.
We see The Gladiator backstage with the match on a monitor, sitting in a chair, head on his lap, with a towel over his neck.
We see Lone Wolf, Seductress, and Helter Skelter, watching a monitor, as EMTs look at Wolf's face, as he pushes them off of him.
We see Johnny Q. Public, backstage at the ICW Interview area, watching the match, arms crossed.
We see Cromwell Welkins, playing a young child at Yahtzee, he flips the game board up at the child, and the child runs as pieces fly everywhere. He stands up to watch the match.
JS: THE WORLD IS WATCHING THIS MATCH!!!
Hampton rolls out of the ring, and grabs a steel chair.
At the same time, Dudley rolls out, and grabs a table.
The two enter the ring, Hampton with the chair, Dudley with the table. They both throw their weapons down, and charge towards each other.
Myst: Somewhat of a stalemate here!
Dudley and Hampton engage in fisticuffs in the middle of the ring. Back and forth, left and right, to and fro, the two exchange blows, as the fans cheer for each man as they get a punch in.
JS: Some fans are actually behind Dudley, here!
Myst: He's The Hardcore ICON, Joey! Of COURSE he has fans!
Hampton whips Dudley into the ropes, Dudley bounces off, Hampton goes for a spinning kick, Dudley ducks. Dudley whips Hampton into the ropes this time, and off the rebound, Dudley throws Hampton up in the air with a flapjack...
JS: 4D!!! 4D!!!!
The chans gasp and chant FOURRRRRRRRR DDDDDDDDDDDDD
HAMPTON COUNTERS WITH A DROPKICK!!! Dudley goes into the mat, as Hampton climbs to the top rope, in swift fashion.
Myst: Dan Hampton has the Dave Dudley Death Drop well scouted, Joey.
JS: I'm sure he knows what it feels like, Myst! I bet he doesn't want it to happen again!
Hampton waits for Dudley to get to his feet, and flies off with a HURRICANRANA, THE LAST DANCE!!!
Dudley counters!!! INTO A DUDLEY BOMB!!!
JS: Dudley holds on to Hampton, he's going for a power bomb!
Myst: Wait, Dudley can't hold on!!!
Hampton follows through and Hurricanranas Dudley through the ropes, to the outside. Hampton, still in the ring, sets up the chair in the middle of the ring, and puts the table in the corner, leaning on the top turnbuckle.
Myst: Hampton engaging in a little Fung Shui here in the ring.
JS: I went to a massage once, Asian.
Myst: Yeah?
JS: Yeah, good stuff.
Myst: I went once too. I said, Mrs. Styles, me want you to love my cock long time. And you know what she said?
JS: Sigh, what?
Myst: She said "Myst, your cock is definitely bigger than my husbands, my sons, Gordon Ramsays, and the Silicon Toads."
JS: Wow, how convienient of her to make references to everyone there. That's pretty good.
Myst: Hey, it's YOUR mom that's the slut.
Dudley gets back to his feet, and climbs up onto the ring apron.
Hampton charges Dudley while Dudley is standing on the apron, SPEAR THROUGH THE ROPES ONTO DUDLEY, DUDLEY FALLS OFF THE APRON, THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, THE TABLE DOESN'T GIVE WAY, DUDLEY JUST BOUNCES ON TOP!!!!
"HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT"
Hampton, still in the ring, stops for a moment to catch his breath, as Dudley lays on the center of the table.
JS: Good LORD!
Myst: Well, we did ask for that reinforced table after last time. But YEESH!
Hampton climbs the top rope...CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH THE TABLE ONTO DUDLEY!!!!
JS: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Myst: JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!!!
The two lie in the wreckage of table, as Dan Hampton hit just as hard as Dudley.
Cut back to Lou E. Dangerously, applauding up in the skybox.
JS: Lou E. is definitely enjoying this now! If Hampton can pull through, he might have this one in the bag!
Hampton crawls into the ring, as Dudley follows suit. They are both down in the ring, as the referee begins to count
JS: The referee has no choice here but to count them both, if they can't get to their feet, they cant wrestle.
Myst: But we need a winner! This is horseshit!
The referee counts
1.....
2....
3....
4....
Hampton starts to get up
5...
6...
Hampton is totally to his feet, now
7...
DUDLEY SPRINGS UP AND FOWARD , SUPERKICK TO THE FACE OF DAN HAMPTON! Hampton goes down! Dudley is on his feet, as he raises his arm in victory!
Myst: DUDLEY HAS A SECOND WIND!!!
Dudley picks Hampton up, and puts him in a fireman's carry...he walks over towards the turnbuckle with the table...LIVING DANGEROUSLY, THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!!
"ICW, ICW, ICW"
We see Lou E. Dangerously in the skybox, looking disgusted, as Constantine is leaning foward in his seat, hands folded.
JS: Well, Lou E. isn't liking it, but Dave Dudley definitely just got DANGEROUS!
Myst: What a death valley driver through that table here, Joey. Dan Hampton is losing steam here.
Dudley stops for a moment to catch his breath. He pulls Hampton out of the corner, and out of the table, into the center of the ring, and locks in the SHARPSHOOTER!
JS: Dudley looking to make Hampton quit!
The referee asks Hampton if he wants to tap out, as he shakes his head no. Dudley leans back, as the sweat drips from his forhead. He says "QUIT, DAMN YOU! QUIT!!!
Myst: Dudley, the master of this finishing hold, is really cranking it in on Hampton here.
JS: WILL IT BE ENOUGH TO MAKE DAN HAMPTON SUBMIT?
HAMPTON POWERS OUT OF THE SHARPSHOOTER, DUDLEY GOES FLYING INTO THE CHAIR!
He stops himself, catching the chair. Dudley turns around as Hampton gets to his feet, Hampton goes for the MEWDAN CLUTCH once more, but Dudley avoids it, flapjack into the air, 4D!!!!!! THE DAVE DUDLEY DEATH DROP!!!!!!!!!!
JS: HE HIT THE 4D!!!!!!
Myst: No way! NO WAY!
JS: DUDLEY MAKES THE COVER!
1...
2.....
KICKOUT, BY DAN HAMPTON!!!!!!
Myst: What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?
JS: HAMPTON KICKED OUT, HAMPTON KICKED OUT!
Dudley looks at the referee, complaining of a slow count, as the fans are going wild, cheering on Hampton. Dudley gets to his knees, hands on his knees, and takes a deep breath. Dudley then gets to his feet, and grabs the referee, berating him.
JS: COME ON, THE REFEREE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
Myst: Dudley is blaming the referee for not getting the win there!
Dan Hampton crawls up behind Dudley who has the referee in his hands, LOW BLOW!!!!!!!!
JS: Oh my God!
Dudley walks fowards away from Hampton, Hampton gets to his feet, runs towards Dudley from behind, FAME-ASSER, THE CUT THE TENSION, ON THE OPEN STEEL CHAIR! DUDLEY GOES FACE-FIRST!!!!
JS: OH MY GOD!
Myst: Dudley is probably losing some TEETH after that one!
Dudley is busted wide open, after the move. Hampton looks to have tendered his leg a bit on the move, perhaps it was botched a little. Nonetheless, Dudley, busted wide open, struggles to get to his feet.
Hampton picks up the steel chair.
JS: Dudley is in trouble here!
HAMPTON WITH THE CHAIR SHOT TO THE FACE OF DUDLEY!!!!!
Myst: HAMPTON PLAYS A ROUSING ROUND OF MUSICAL CHAIRS WITH DUDLEY!
Dudley drops to his knees, as Hampton lines up Dudley for another chair shot!
JS: HAMPTON GOING TO STRIKE AGAIN ON DUDLEY!
Myst: Dudley can't even SEE he's bleeding from his forehead, and looks like his nose!
Hampton rears back for another chairshot, but Dudley, on his knees, falls to the side, ending up laying on his back. Hampton throws the chair down on top of Dudley, and climbs the top rope.
JS: Hampton was going to hit Dudley with another chairshot, but Dudley couldn't take another one!
Myst: Hampton is going up top with that leg he may have injured a bit! Not a good idea!
Hampton isn't SLOW to climb the turnbuckle, but he's not as fast as he should be. Hampton perches on the top rope, wobbly...
FLIES OFF WITH THE PHOENIX SPLASH ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR, ONTO DUDLEY! SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS!!!!
JS: THAT'S IT!
Hampton makes the cover!!!
1.....
2........
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, receiving a title shot, and entry into the Insanity Cell match, Dan Hampton
"Past Tense, Future Perfect" hits again, as Hampton raises his arm in victory, the other arm holding his midsection.
Dudley lies flat in the ring
Myst: HAMPTON IS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!!
JS: DAVE DUDLEY IS...
Myst: Yeah, he's gone.
JS: Gone. Wow.
Hampton leans back in the corner, as Dudley stirs, and gets to his hands and knees.
Cut to Lou E. Dangerously in the skybox, applauding Dan Hampton. Calvin remains seated, and claps.
The fans chant:
"NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOOD BYE"
Dudley looks around the arena, as the blood has made his face a crimson mask.
JS: Myst, ladies, gentlemen...we've just seen the LAST of Dave Dudley, here in ICW.
Dudley gets to his feet, as the fans remain chanting. Hampton stares down Dudley from the corner, as Dudley stands in the middle of the ring.
Myst: I can't believe it. It's the end of an era!
Hampton walks out of the turnbuckle, towards Dudley. The two stare each other down.
JS: What's this now?
They stare each other down...HAMPTON EXTENDS HIS HAND TO DUDLEY!
Myst: Dan Hampton is the ULTIMATE in sportsmanship.
JS: These two men used to be BEST FRIENDS!
Hampton looks at Dudley, hand extended for a handshake. Hampton waves his hand a bit, motioning for Dudley to take it.
Dudley looks around at the arena.
JS: Will he shake Hampton's hand?
.....
Dudley turns around and walks out of the ring, as Hampton still has his hand extended. The fans BOOOOO.
JS: Dudley isn't having that show of respect from Dan Hampton. The fans here hate it!
Myst: Dudley looks like he wants to go out on his own accord.
Dudley stands in front of the ring, hands on his waist. He surveys the arena. He then walks up the ramp.
He doesn't look back.
JS: What a night here folks, Dan Hampton is the new #1 contender, reciever of a title shot he can use ANYTIME in the next year, AND an entrance into the Insanity Cell main event at July2Die.
Myst: And on the opposite side of the coin, Dave Dudley, the man who DEFINES ICW...gone. Forced to leave ICW. Joey, like the sands of time, these ARE the days of our lives.
JS: For Myst and the rest of the gang at ICW, this is Joey Styles, good night, and we'll see you next week!
The last shot is of Dan Hampton looking at the ramp hands on his waist, as the fans cheer him on.
end transmission