Post by Dave Dangerously on Jul 25, 2008 20:36:16 GMT -6
"Chrome" by VNV Nation plays, but it is interrupted by static, and some regalia of pomp and circumstance.
An image of a burning temple is shown...
And followed by the visage of the one and only Emperor.
The Emperor: Greetings, wrestling fans. Women, children, and even our fellow man, all around the world. I proudly welcome you to another great night of ICW Programme.
The Emperor is shrouded in a cloak and hood
The Emperor: I'm...elated to bring you the unforunate news of our very own General Manager, one Lou E. Dangerously being hospitalized. Apparently his head is a magnet for steel chairs, and, well...alas, poor Lou. I knew him well.
The Gladiator steps into the frame. He looks infuriated.
The Emperor: So...I guess...I'll be in charge from now on. Imagine that. Tonight, I begin my ascension. Tonight, I will unleash hell upon ICW in the form of Centurius Maximus. And tonight, you will know me as Healius Maximus, but more importantly, you will know me as...MASTER.
cut to inside the Arrowhead Pond, in Anaheim, California, where Juggernaut is waiting in the ring.
Jim Ross: Hello again everybody, welcome to ICW's Thursday, INSANE THURSDAY! I'm Jim Ross, joining you all live from the Arrowhead Pond in sunny Anaheim California, as ICW begins it's month long tour of the west coast.
We see Juggernaut, waiting in the ring, readying himself, as "It's Clobberin Time" by Unearth plays.
JR: Lots of things to get to, folks. First off, I'm here with you as your regular ICW announce team of Joey Styles and Myst have both been hospitalized with severe concussions, after the events of July2Die. I was asked to fill in, and, well, even though it's under scintillating circumstances, I'm very glad to be here with you all tonight.
Footage rolls, from July2Die:
The Emperor, shrouded in his robe, motions for Gladiator to grab a steel chair. The two walk around to the announce position, as The Gladiator grabs Joey Styles' chair.
JS: HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?
JR: COME ON, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Gladiator BARKS at Styles, when suddenly, MYST runs from the backstage area, and pulls Gladiator around!
JS: YEAH, TAKE ON MY BROADCAST PARTNER, FUCK!
BUT GLADIATOR GRABS MYST BY THE THROAT!
BIG PRESS SLAM!!!!! AND MYST GOES THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!!
the announce table explodes, as Myst is OUT! STYLES THROWS OFF HIS ANNOUNCE GEAR!
JS: YOU MOTHER FUCKER-
JR: JOEY, NO!
Styles confronts Gladiator, but IS MET WITH A BRUTAL CHAIRSHOT TO THE SKULL, JOEY STYLES IS DOWN!!!!!!
JR: NO, NO!!!!!!!!
JR: NEXT, the situation of our General Manager, Lou E. Dangerously.
More July2Die footage:
Suddenly, LOU E. DANGEROUSLY comes down to the ring, yelling and screaming, he gets in The Emperor's face.
JR: WHAT NOW???
you can hear Dangerously tell The Emperor: "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THIS IS MY SHOW!!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!
AND THE EMPEROR HITS DANGEROUSLY WITH A CHAIRSHOT!!!!!!!!
DANGEROUSLY GOES DOWN, AS THE GLADIATOR STILL CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE, AS PP7/CONSTANTINE/HAMPTON CONTINUE THEIR BATTLE!!!
JR: WHAT...THE...HELL??
THE EMPEROR DISROBES...REVEALING HIMSELF TO BE HEALIUS!!! A MUSCLED UP HEALIUS!!!!!!!
JR: WHAT THE HELL, IT'S HEALIUS! AND LOOK AT HIM!!!
He drops the robe, and drops the chair to the floor. Healius/Emperor picks up Dangerously...THE ENLIGHTENMENT PEDIGREE ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DANGEROUSLY IS OUT!
JR: OUR GENERAL MANAGER HAS JUST BEEN TAKEN OUT! OH MY GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!
JR: Fans, Lou E. Dangerously is resting in a local Philadelphia PA hospital this evening. It is unknown if he will be able to return anytime soon, but as far as we know, there is no GM right now for ICW. And it appears that Healius or, The Emperor whatever the hell the lunatic wants to be called, well, it appears as if he thinks he's now in charge. Well he's wrong. Do you hear me, Healius? YOU'RE WRONG.
"Duel of the Fates" hits, as the fans boo. Out comes The Gladiator, Centurius Maximus, as he poses on the stage in the mist of fireworks. Not far behind him, is the shrouded Emperor Healius Maximus. The fans boo even worse for him.
JR: Okay folks if you're not familiar with this guy, we're looking at a former LWN, EWA, and ICW champion here in Healius. I mean, the only other guy to ever do that trifecta is that damn Dave Dudley. He's always had a great track record of being a consumate professional in the ring, and being one of the best. His old moniker was "The Cerebral Assassin", which he stole from the WWE and Smackdown!'s very own Hunter-Hearst Helmsley. But, I think we'll let it slide, in the sake of being good sports. The point here is that this startling change in Healius is well...startling. If you've been following the story, you know the sick road Healius has lost himself down. And unfortunately, he's drug this poor Gladiator along with him.
The Gladiator hits the ring, as Juggernaut runs towards him. Gladiator catches him with a SPEAR!!!! ET TU!!!!!!
Juggernaut hits the mat hard, as the fans boo.
Ding, ding
JR: Well folks, this first round match in the Hail to the King tournament is underway, with Gladiator getting an early advantage.
Gladiator looks at The Emperor, who gives him the "thumbs down". He sets up Juggernaut, and hits THE FALL OF ROME POWERBOMB!!!!! Juggernaut CRASHES INTO THE MAT!
JR: THAT'S IT! OUT OF NOWHERE, THE FALL OF ROME! DEVASTATING!
The Gladiator looks down at the Juggernaut, and looks back at The Emperor. AND THE GLADIATOR LEAVES THE RING!
JR: What in the by God is Gladiator doing? He's goofier than a pet coon! The referee is beginning the count!
The Gladiator stands out on the outside, and kneels before The Emperor.
1....
2....
3.....
4...
5.....
6.....
7.........
8................
9...........................
10!!!!!!!!!
Winner by count out, and advancing to the SECOND round of the Hail To The King tournament, Juggernaut!
Mayhem runs out, to gather up Juggernaut, as he has regained his composure, but unaware of what has transpired.
JR: Oddly enough, the Gladiator has allowed Juggernaut to get the win and thus advance in this tournament...but why? What the HELL?
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
Gladiator and The Emperor enter the ring, as the Emperor asks for a microphone
The Emperor: You see, everyone...it's really simple. I control everything that happens. I control you. I control this adonis, this chisled seed of destruction we all know as Centurius Maximus, I control EVERYTHING. Power is everything, if you didn't know. And Healius Maximus EQUATES POWER.
The fans boo
JR: I can't believe the madness this man has created for himself. It's like he's living in a damn fantasy world.
The Emperor: And now, I had my soldier. My Gladiator deliberately walk out on this match. Why? I stated earlier, that he was to be my new King. And that it would be the first step in causing this empire to fall. Plans change, I'm afraid, because sometimes the best coups, the best seizes and the best razings aren't caused by Kings at all. They're caused by WARRIORS. THIS IS MY WARRIOR. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET'S HEAR IT FOR FORMER TRANSCONTINENTAL CHAMPION AND ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, CENTURIUS MAXIMUS!
The fans boo even harder, now!
The Emperor: He knows his mission well, and he follows it through accordingly. I couldn't ask for a better apprentice...and I don't need to get into specifics in front of all of you, but basically it's something like this: if a King is the man on the throne then ICW ALREADY HAS ONE. The ICW World Heavyweight Champion. And that title, that position is going to come into my arms because THIS MAN, THE GLADIATOR, WILL BE CHALLENGING FOR THE ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! This "Conglomerate" reign will fall short like the rest of them. THIS IS THE AGE OF ROMULUS MAXIMII. YOU ALL WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME! I AM YOUR MASTER! I AM YOUR EMPEROR! KNEEL! KNEEL BEFORE HEALIUS MAXIMUS! KNEEL AND YOU WILL OBTAIN ENLIGHTENMENT...
KNEEL!!!!!
KNEEL!!!!!!!
KNEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
KNEEE-
"Shipping Up To Boston" plays, signalling the arrival of "Custom-Made" ScottiePP7, THE ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!
JR: Here comes the NEW ICW World Heavyweight Champion. He endured a hell of a match, I'll give him that, but PP7 won the title under suspicious circumstances...watch!
July2Die footage:
Constantine turns to walk back towards the scene of all the action, BUT SCOTTIEPP7 CONNECTS WITH A MILLION DOLLAR KNEE LIFT! CONSTANTINE GOES OVER THE SIDE OF THE CAGE, CRASHING THROUGH THE WRECKAGE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR: OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! HE'S DEAD! THAT KILLED HIM!!!
The fans are silent, as PP7 turns towards the cage, as Hook comes out of the second cage. Hook helps PP7 climb the cage. PP7 enters the third cage, as Hook joins him. PP7 and Hook take the ladder out, and put it on top of the third cage...
JR: NO! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS! SOMEONE STOP HIM!!!
EMTs come out to help Constantine, who is out cold. Hampton starts to crawl out of the hole he made through the second cage wall.
JR: HELP HIM, THIS MAN NEEDS SERIOUS MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!!!!
Hook helps PP7 climb the ladder. Hook holds the ladder steady, as Scottie reaches up, and grabs the ICW world title.....
DING, DING
JR: NO! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Howard Finkel: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THE WINNER OF THE MATCH.....
AND........
NEWWWWWWWW ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION,
SCOTTIEPP7
JR: NO! NO!!!!
Hampton stops crawling, as he pounds the cage floor with his fist. LB starts to stir surrounded by a mess of table.
EMTS carry off Lou E. Dangerously, Joey Styles, Myst, and Calvin Constantine...
Back to the live TV, as ScottiePP7, alongside Johnny Hook, and Ms. Clee Tarus have entered the ring. PP7 polishes the ICW World Title, as the fans boo.
The Emperor: And what, pray tell, young one, what have I done to earn the honor of our most gracious world champion, blessing me with his presence in the ring?
ScottiePP7: Why? WHY? THE EMPEROR WANTS TO KNOW WHY..
PP7 smiles, and throws the ICW world title up on his shoulder
The Emperor: Yes, wh-
ScottiePP7: BECAUSE I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!
The fans cheer, because it's an easy pop.
ScottiePP7: We've been traveling all over the country, LEFT TO RIGHT, RIGHT TO LEFT, AND RIGHT EVEN IN THE MIDDLE, THE BELLYBUTTON, THE TOILET OF AMERICA WICHITA KANSAS ON THE 2008 Scottie APP7RECIATION TOUR! We've been celebrating across America. We've celebrated in HOLIDAY INNS,
HOLIDAY INN EXPRESSES,
AND EVEN IN HOLIDAY IN SELECTS. It ain't easy being this talented, and this good looking, you know. We've got to give everyone what they want. AND THAT I DO, WITH SASS, CLASS, AND A PRINGLES CAN IN MY PANTS!!!!
The fans cheer, oddly enough
ScottiePP7: So when we finally had to roll in to this DUMP, Anaheim, I asked my custom-made self, "Custom Made self, just WHO does this Emperor character think he is?" I mean, first you send your little errand boy grocery clerk to try to beat me up, which I might add, he was UNSUCCESSFUL AT, and now, now you're booking matches for MY ICW title?
The Emperor: Yeah. Yeah, I am actually. You know, it's all about power. And right now...we've got it.
ScottiePP7: Power. Yeah right. I'm the half-million dollar man. I'M MR. CUSTOM MADE. I'M THE MAN WHO PUT OUT THE FORMER ICW WORLD CHAMP, CALVIN CONSTANTINE. I'M THE ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, THE MAN WHO BUILT THIS DAMN PLACE. I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!!!!!
The Gladiator steps forward, as does Hook and PP7. The Emperor holds back The Gladiator.
The Gladiator: Now now. Let's not get into something we can't finish, here.
ScottiePP7: No. I'm going to be a fighting champion! SPACE MOUNTAIN, BABY! LET'S DO THIS, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
JR: WE'RE GOING TO SEE THIS SHIT NOW!!!!
The aformentioned parties lunge toward each other again, but suddenly, "Past Tense, Future Perfect" hits, signalling the arrival of Dan Hampton! The fans cheer, as The Golden One makes his way to the ring.
Dan Hampton: Now...now...NOW! You know, I was backstage, consulting Broctoon, Mayor McCheese, and this typewriting monkey who was snorting cocaine, and I said, MAN! I got ripped off at July2Die. I wonder how I can get back on my feet?
The fans cheer for Hampton
Dan Hampton: And then I realized...HEY. I'M THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER. NOT TO MENTION I HAVE A WORLD TITLE SHOT TO USE. Now, the way I see it, I get a title shot BECAUSE I'm number one contender, and if that's not good enough, I have the title shot. So...yeah. STEP ASIDE, GLADDY!
The Emperor: You INSIGNIFICANT FLEA. WHO DO YOU THINK-
Dan Hampton: Oh, I know who I am. I'm the guy who used to kick your stupid ass ALL OVER EWA. So unless you'd like me to resume my former job, well. Fucking step off.
ScottiePP7: Man's got a point. His point being totally queer and that of a nancy boy, but still.
Dan Hampton: Big words from someone who needed his henchman to win the match. How about one-one one, Mr. Custom Made?
ScottiePP7: JOHNNY HOOK EATS PIECES OF SHIT BIGGER THAN YOU FOR BREAKFAST!
The fans laugh, Hook says WTF.
JR: Hampton IS the number one contender, he deserves the title shot!
Suddenly, "Alcohol" by the Dropkick Murphys hits, and out comes Lightning Bolt to a huge pop from the fans. He walks down the ramp and enters the ring as he talks
Lightning Bolt: Basically, I'm interjecting...because I wanna. And that ICW world title should be mine.
LB pauses
LB: Hmmm? Oh. More? Ok......*ahem*.......................bitches.
The fans cheer
The Emperor: Now, this is getting out of hand. CLEARLY The Gladiator is the most qualified for the ICW title shot, not these two miscreants.
Just then, "Battery" plays, and on the TITtron we see Lone Wolf, alongside the rest of The Hardcore Regime, as they are back in their locker room
Lone Wolf: Qualified? QUALIFIED? What the HELL are you all talking about? No one is more qualified than me. I've been on the biggest path of destruction ICW has EVER seen. I've taken everyone I've laid my hands on out. I'M THE LEADER OF THE STRONGEST FORCE IN ICW, THE HARDCORE REGIME. AS FAR AS I SEE IT, I'M GOING TO BRING THE OTHER ICW TITLE HOME TO THE HARDCORE REGIME.
ScottiePP7: Delusions of grandeur.
The Emperor: Nations at war, the country line thicker than ever. If that's how you'd all like to do it, then I propose this: NEXT WEEK:
FOR A SHOT AGAINST SCOTTIEPP7 FOR THE ICW WORLD TITLE AT ULTIMATUM
A FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH!!!!!!
Dan Hampton
vs.
Lightning Bolt
vs.
The Gladiator
vs.
Lone Wolf!!!!
The fans cheer
JR: HELL YES!!!!!!!!
ScottiePP7: Mr. Custom Made never backs down from a challenge. But one stipulation.
PP7 consults Hook and Clee Tarus
ScottiePP7: JOHNNY HOOK, THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE.
LB, Wolf, Hampton, Gladiator and Emperor all seem to think about it, and nod in approval.
JR: WHAT A MATCH!!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!!!! THE ICW WORLD TITLE SCENE HAS JUST PICKED UP!!!!!!!!
Commercial break:
theslip.nin.com
Back to live TV
JR: Fans, we're back on TIT, and we're going to continue the first round of the Hail to the King tournament here.
Earlier, we saw Juggernaut advance over The Gladiator, so here are the updated brackets:
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
"Burn" by Throwdown hits, and out comes The Hardcore Regime's Pyro to a chorus of boos. He gets in the ring, and raises his arms up in the air, pointing to his Hardcore Regime T-Shirt
JR: Pyro has made an immediate impact by aligning himself with The Hardcore Regime. Under the tutelage of one Lone Wolf, this kid could go places.
"Evolution" by Korn hits, signalling the arrival of Fenyx Kayne. The fans cheer!
JR: And we await the arrival of the RISING SON! He won over many fans at July2Die in his match with Lone Wolf. Wolf took him to the limit, and at times, I thought Kayne just COULD NOT STAY DOWN! But...wait. Where is he?
Pyro wonders the same thing, as he looks on at the ramp. He puts his hands on his hips, before motioning up at the TITtron, "where is he?"
SUDDENLY, THE CAMERAMAN HITS PYRO WITH THE CAMERA!!!!!!!
PYRO IS DOWN! THE CAMERAMAN THROWS DOWN THE CAMERA!
JR: WHAT THE HELL? THAT CAMERAMAN! WHAT IS HE DOING???
The cameraman takes off his cap, IT'S FENYX KAYNE!!!! He motions for the referee to ring the bell!!!!
JR: KAYNE SNEAK ATTACKED PYRO!!!!!
Pyro gets to his feet, wobbily, and Kayne sets him up, THE NEW BEGINNING!!!!
KAYNE MAKES THE COVER!
1....
2....
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, and advancing to the second round of the Hail to the King tournament, Fenyx Kayne!
The fans cheer as Kayne leaves the ring, wearing cameraman garb. He points at his head as to say he's smarter than Pyro and the rest of the Hardcore Regime.
JR: WHAT CUNNING BY KAYNE!!!!
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
JR: This tournament put together by Lou E. Dangerously is really starting to shapen up. SCINTILLATING!
Cut to backstage, where we see Juggernaut and Mayhem, Damaged Ink talking.
Juggernaut: No, I'm fine. He caught me off guard.
Mayhem: Listen, at least you won. I still have a match tonight.
Juggernaut: Good luck, bra. You're gonna need it. But more importantly, I've got a message for everyone, NEXT WEEK. Me and Mayhem here? We're DAMAGED INK. And we're wanting to prove how damaged we really are, and that we're the best tag team here in ICW. So WE'RE ISSUING AN OPEN CHALLENGE TO ANY TAG TEAM WHO WOULD LIKE TO FACE US, NEXT WEEK? BRING IT ON!
Suddenly, Genesis walks up, seemingly from the shadows...
Mayhem: Hey you punk BITCH! What do you think you're doing?
Genesis: ....
Juggernaut: Yeah, GET OUT OF HERE, FREAK!
Genesis quietly walks off
Mayhem: What is the DEAL with that guy?
Cut to yet another locker room
Fenyx Kayne: WHOO! SCORE ONE FOR THE ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT!
Johnny Q. Public walks up to Kayne, in the locker room...
Johnny Q. Public: What the hell was that?
Fenyx Kayne: What?
Johnny Q. Public: That...nonsense that just occurred in the ring.
Fenyx Kayne: Hey, I beat Pyro.
Johnny Q. Public: This is WRESTLING. Look. I've been thinking about what you've had to say. And I've come to the conclusion that we have common enemies. The Hardcore Regime. And now you have The Conglomerate, and Romulus Maximii. Listen, we're a dying breed, you and I. We've got to stick together.
Fenyx Kayne: I'm listening...
Johnny Q. Public: We've got to strike at our enemies to reclaim ICW, so we can have more opportunities to be on top. We've been held back and screwed over too many times. It's time to fight back.
Fenyx Kayne: I don't have a good track record with partners...
Johnny Q. Public: Not partners. Not in the sense. I want to help you, so you can help me. You've got a lot of potential, but you've got to learn a lot, still.
Fenyx Kayne: Like what?
Johnny Q. Public: Discipline.
QPublic holds up his fist to Kayne's face.
Johnny Q. Public: Come on, we've got a lot to talk about, before my match...
Cut back to the arena
JR: Well folks we're on the first night of our West Coast ICW tour, as you all know the WWE is invading the ICW land of Philadelphia Pennsylvania this week. But now to other business, our thoughts and prayers are with former ICW World Champion Calvin Constantine, who last week took a spill off of the Insanity Cell, and had to be hospitalized. The extent of his condition is unknown at this time, and we are not sure if he will return soon, if at all...
Cut to a hospital, where we see Lou E. Dangerously sitting in his bed.
Lou E. Dangerously: Those idiots. Romulus Maximii. What a fucking JOKE. They think they can take ICW from me? Heh. I can fight fire with fire. If it's a war they want, a war they'll get...
commercial break:
hungry eat food
Back to live TV
Gary Michael Cappetta: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FOLLOWING FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE HAIL TO THE KING TOURNAMENT, IS ALSO FOR THE ICW CHAOS CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!
"Sick of Life" by Godsmack hits, and out comes The Hardcore Regime's ICW NYO "Chaos" Champion, Sylver Morrigan to a chorus of boos by the fans.
JR: Morrigan, who has named the ICW Name Your Own title the CHAOS title, has certainly caused a lot of chaos since aligning herself with Lone Wolf and the Hardcore Regime. She used to be a fan favorite, until the master manipulator Lone Wolf sank his fangs into Morrigan, allowing her to reclaim her dark side. She's had a hellacious mean streak since, winning the ICW NYO title at July2Die.
Morrigan gets in the ring, and hands the Chaos title to the referee, as "To Take The Black" by The Sword, and out comes Johnny Q. Public to a round of applause.
JR: Johnny Q. Public, the ICW legend and former world champion, is one of few people to stand up for what is right here in ICW. He's a fan favorite, and a favorite of mine, too. Of course, this is a Hail to the King tournament first round match, but as ICW NYO rules go, this match will also be for the NYO title. I'm sure QPublic would love to win the NYO title, to bring it back to the TRUE side of ICW, and not under The Hardcore Regime's...well, regime!
QPublic hits the ring, and the referee calls for the bell, AND MORRIGAN HITS QPUBLIC WITH A LOW BLOW!!!!!!!!!
JR: WHAT THE HELL???
The referee calls for the bell, as QPublic goes down. Morrigan circles around him, and starts to stomp away.
Winner, by disqualification, and advancing to the second round of the Hail to the King tournament, Johnny Q. Public
STILL ICW NYO "CHAOS" CHAMPION, SYLVER MORRIGAN
The fans boo, as Morrigan puts the boots to QPublic, but suddenly FENYX KAYNE RUNS DOWN to help, running Morrigan off. She grabs the Chaos title and heads back up the ramp, with an evil smile on her face.
JR: Morrigan non-chalantly just cost herself the match at the expense of QPublic! She must not be concerned with the Hail to the King tournament, and she definitely didn't want to put herself in a position to lose the Chaos title. WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN!
Kayne and QPublic look on at Morrigan, as the camera cuts to the back.
ScottiePP7: I can't beLIEVE this Healius guy. Here's a guy that time in and time out I REFUSED TO LET IN ICW, because, well, I was the custom made PREZ. And now he's trying to backdoor his butler, Centurius Maximus, The Masturbator into the ICW title, just so the guy can hand it over to him? WHO WOULD EVER DO THAT?
Johnny Hook: Well, Scott, that was an original plan for us.
Clee Tarus: Yeah. Remember?
ScottiePP7: Yeah, well. Shit. You're right. STILL, I'M THE CHAMPION! NO ONE CAN TOUCH ME! NO ONE!
SUDDENLY, THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!!!!
Johnny Hook: WHAT THE HELL MAN, WHAT THE HELL?
The lights come back on, and we see SCOTTIEPP7, KNOCKED OUT COLD ON THE FLOOR! Clee Tarus screams as Hook reaches down on damage control.
JR: Someone has just KNOCKED OUT OUR CHAMPION!!!!!!!
"Surfacing" by Slipknot hits, and out comes Mayhem, accompanied by Juggernaut, to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
JR: Well...in any case, we're moving on with the final first round match of the Hail to the King tournament. What controversy has surrounded this tournament, so far!
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
JR: Not much is known about Damaged Ink yet, but we're about to find out, hopefully. That could be said the same for Genesis, who also makes his ICW debut here tonight.
Damaged Ink enters the ring, and Mayhem starts to warm up, as "Genesis" by VNV Nation plays, and out comes Genesis to a mixed reaction from the crowd
JR: Genesis made a sudden impact at July2Die, targeting ICW's "villains", so to speak. Specifically the new ICW Champion, ScottiePP7.
The camera cuts to the backstage area, where we see Dan Hampton PUT THROUGH A TABLE IN HIS DRESSING ROOM!
WE ALSO SEE LIGHTNING BOLT, PUT THROUGH A TABLE, IN A HALLWAY!
AND SCOTTIEPP7 AND JOHNNY HOOK ARE FIGHTING LONE WOLF IN THE BACKSTAGE AREA!
JR: What the hell???
Wolf is trying to defend himself from the double team, as suddenly THE GLADIATOR SHOWS UP, SPEARING JOHNNY HOOK! LONE WOLF ATTACKS GLADIATOR, AS NOW IT'S A THREE WAY BRAWL BETWEEN GLADIATOR, WOLF, AND PP7!
JR: PP7 must have been trying to get revenge on whomever attacked him!
In the ring, Genesis has a microphone
Genesis: When I opened up the Book of Genesis, a stream of hot White Light spewed forth. It covered the land, and it made almost everything Light. Almost everything. You see, there was some darkness. And it stretched out further than it should have. And there is a little bit of darkness on you too. And after tonight, hopefully some of that darkness will fade away. Because JUST LIKE I ATTACKED SCOTTIEPP7 EARLIER, you TOO will see my light.
The fans cheer!!! Scottie is watching a monitor, backstage!
JR: Genesis attacked PP7!!!!
Scottie takes off, as Wolf and Gladiator continue their fight.
The bell sounds in the ring, as the Juggernaut goes for Genesis. Genesis side-steps Juggernaut, and tosses him over the top rope! Mayhem gets the jump on Genesis, and clubs him in the back.
JR: Genesis having to deal with BOTH members of Damaged Ink here!
Suddenly, SCOTTIEPP7 busts through the entrance way, with a mad look on his face, but FROM BEHIND, THE EMPEROR!!!!! HE TURNS PP7 AROUND, ENLIGHTENMENT PEDIGREE ON THE METAL STAGE!!! The Emperor unrobes, revealing the visage of Healius Maximus for the first time tonight, as the fans boo.
JR: THE EMPEROR, HEALIUS WHATEVER YOU DAMN WELL WANT TO CALL HIM HAS TAKEN OUT THE ICW WORLD CHAMPION!!!!
In the ring, Juggernaut hops up on the apron, looking for a double team.
Mayhem whips Genesis into the ropes, GENESIS REVERSES, MAYHEM IS WHIPPED INTO JUGGERNAUT, JUGGERNAUT GETS KNOCKED OFF THE RING APRON!!!!
JR: THE DOUBLE TEAM ATTEMPT BACKFIRED!!!!!
Mayhem looks down at Juggernaut, and turns around, into Genesis' SUPERKICK, ARCLIGHT!!!!!!!!!
JR: THAT'S IT, HE'S GOT HIM!!!!!!!
Genesis makes the cover!
1...........
2........
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, and advancing to the second round of the Hail to the King tournament, Genesis
Genesis looks up at PP7, laying prone on the stage, and then proceeds to leave the ring area, THROUGH THE CROWD!
JR: GENESIS WINS! GENESIS WINS!
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
JR: THE FIRST ROUND IS COMPLETE! BUT THE ICW WORLD CHAMPION HAS BEEN TAKEN OUT!!! OH MY, WHAT A THURSDAY INSANE THURSDAY!!!
The last shot we see is ScottiePP7 laying on the ramp, trying to revive, as the ICW world title is draped across his body...
Cut to a shot outside of the Philadelphia hospital, where Lou E. Dangerously is recovering.
Cut inside now, where he is waking up from sleep.
Lou E. Dangerously: Ah......wow. Who would have thought that a chair could mess me up so bad? JEEZ!
Lou gets up, and starts to walk towards the bathroom.
Lou E. Dangerously: But I have this strange feeling, of talking about starting a war. I don't remember that. I mean, with the concussion and all, it's kind of hard to tell whether I'm coming or going, but still...
Lou continues the walk to the bathroom, opening the door
Lou E. Dangerously: But still, I can't help this feeling. Like, the feeling of this "takeover" by these entities of ICW is over. Like it never happened. Like, it was all a dream...
Lou E. Dangerously opens the shower curtain, where we see a human form, taking a shower.
Lou E. Dangerously: YOU??
Dave Dudley: What's all a dream?
An image of a burning temple is shown...
And followed by the visage of the one and only Emperor.
The Emperor: Greetings, wrestling fans. Women, children, and even our fellow man, all around the world. I proudly welcome you to another great night of ICW Programme.
The Emperor is shrouded in a cloak and hood
The Emperor: I'm...elated to bring you the unforunate news of our very own General Manager, one Lou E. Dangerously being hospitalized. Apparently his head is a magnet for steel chairs, and, well...alas, poor Lou. I knew him well.
The Gladiator steps into the frame. He looks infuriated.
The Emperor: So...I guess...I'll be in charge from now on. Imagine that. Tonight, I begin my ascension. Tonight, I will unleash hell upon ICW in the form of Centurius Maximus. And tonight, you will know me as Healius Maximus, but more importantly, you will know me as...MASTER.
cut to inside the Arrowhead Pond, in Anaheim, California, where Juggernaut is waiting in the ring.
Jim Ross: Hello again everybody, welcome to ICW's Thursday, INSANE THURSDAY! I'm Jim Ross, joining you all live from the Arrowhead Pond in sunny Anaheim California, as ICW begins it's month long tour of the west coast.
We see Juggernaut, waiting in the ring, readying himself, as "It's Clobberin Time" by Unearth plays.
JR: Lots of things to get to, folks. First off, I'm here with you as your regular ICW announce team of Joey Styles and Myst have both been hospitalized with severe concussions, after the events of July2Die. I was asked to fill in, and, well, even though it's under scintillating circumstances, I'm very glad to be here with you all tonight.
Footage rolls, from July2Die:
The Emperor, shrouded in his robe, motions for Gladiator to grab a steel chair. The two walk around to the announce position, as The Gladiator grabs Joey Styles' chair.
JS: HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?
JR: COME ON, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Gladiator BARKS at Styles, when suddenly, MYST runs from the backstage area, and pulls Gladiator around!
JS: YEAH, TAKE ON MY BROADCAST PARTNER, FUCK!
BUT GLADIATOR GRABS MYST BY THE THROAT!
BIG PRESS SLAM!!!!! AND MYST GOES THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!!
the announce table explodes, as Myst is OUT! STYLES THROWS OFF HIS ANNOUNCE GEAR!
JS: YOU MOTHER FUCKER-
JR: JOEY, NO!
Styles confronts Gladiator, but IS MET WITH A BRUTAL CHAIRSHOT TO THE SKULL, JOEY STYLES IS DOWN!!!!!!
JR: NO, NO!!!!!!!!
JR: NEXT, the situation of our General Manager, Lou E. Dangerously.
More July2Die footage:
Suddenly, LOU E. DANGEROUSLY comes down to the ring, yelling and screaming, he gets in The Emperor's face.
JR: WHAT NOW???
you can hear Dangerously tell The Emperor: "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THIS IS MY SHOW!!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!
AND THE EMPEROR HITS DANGEROUSLY WITH A CHAIRSHOT!!!!!!!!
DANGEROUSLY GOES DOWN, AS THE GLADIATOR STILL CLIMBS TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE, AS PP7/CONSTANTINE/HAMPTON CONTINUE THEIR BATTLE!!!
JR: WHAT...THE...HELL??
THE EMPEROR DISROBES...REVEALING HIMSELF TO BE HEALIUS!!! A MUSCLED UP HEALIUS!!!!!!!
JR: WHAT THE HELL, IT'S HEALIUS! AND LOOK AT HIM!!!
He drops the robe, and drops the chair to the floor. Healius/Emperor picks up Dangerously...THE ENLIGHTENMENT PEDIGREE ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DANGEROUSLY IS OUT!
JR: OUR GENERAL MANAGER HAS JUST BEEN TAKEN OUT! OH MY GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!
JR: Fans, Lou E. Dangerously is resting in a local Philadelphia PA hospital this evening. It is unknown if he will be able to return anytime soon, but as far as we know, there is no GM right now for ICW. And it appears that Healius or, The Emperor whatever the hell the lunatic wants to be called, well, it appears as if he thinks he's now in charge. Well he's wrong. Do you hear me, Healius? YOU'RE WRONG.
"Duel of the Fates" hits, as the fans boo. Out comes The Gladiator, Centurius Maximus, as he poses on the stage in the mist of fireworks. Not far behind him, is the shrouded Emperor Healius Maximus. The fans boo even worse for him.
JR: Okay folks if you're not familiar with this guy, we're looking at a former LWN, EWA, and ICW champion here in Healius. I mean, the only other guy to ever do that trifecta is that damn Dave Dudley. He's always had a great track record of being a consumate professional in the ring, and being one of the best. His old moniker was "The Cerebral Assassin", which he stole from the WWE and Smackdown!'s very own Hunter-Hearst Helmsley. But, I think we'll let it slide, in the sake of being good sports. The point here is that this startling change in Healius is well...startling. If you've been following the story, you know the sick road Healius has lost himself down. And unfortunately, he's drug this poor Gladiator along with him.
The Gladiator hits the ring, as Juggernaut runs towards him. Gladiator catches him with a SPEAR!!!! ET TU!!!!!!
Juggernaut hits the mat hard, as the fans boo.
Ding, ding
JR: Well folks, this first round match in the Hail to the King tournament is underway, with Gladiator getting an early advantage.
Gladiator looks at The Emperor, who gives him the "thumbs down". He sets up Juggernaut, and hits THE FALL OF ROME POWERBOMB!!!!! Juggernaut CRASHES INTO THE MAT!
JR: THAT'S IT! OUT OF NOWHERE, THE FALL OF ROME! DEVASTATING!
The Gladiator looks down at the Juggernaut, and looks back at The Emperor. AND THE GLADIATOR LEAVES THE RING!
JR: What in the by God is Gladiator doing? He's goofier than a pet coon! The referee is beginning the count!
The Gladiator stands out on the outside, and kneels before The Emperor.
1....
2....
3.....
4...
5.....
6.....
7.........
8................
9...........................
10!!!!!!!!!
Winner by count out, and advancing to the SECOND round of the Hail To The King tournament, Juggernaut!
Mayhem runs out, to gather up Juggernaut, as he has regained his composure, but unaware of what has transpired.
JR: Oddly enough, the Gladiator has allowed Juggernaut to get the win and thus advance in this tournament...but why? What the HELL?
First Round
Second Round
Third Round
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Juggernaut
versus
winner of Morrigan/Public
versus
winner of Morrigan/Public
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Blank
versus
Blank
versus
Blank
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
winner of Kayne/Pyro
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
Gladiator and The Emperor enter the ring, as the Emperor asks for a microphone
The Emperor: You see, everyone...it's really simple. I control everything that happens. I control you. I control this adonis, this chisled seed of destruction we all know as Centurius Maximus, I control EVERYTHING. Power is everything, if you didn't know. And Healius Maximus EQUATES POWER.
The fans boo
JR: I can't believe the madness this man has created for himself. It's like he's living in a damn fantasy world.
The Emperor: And now, I had my soldier. My Gladiator deliberately walk out on this match. Why? I stated earlier, that he was to be my new King. And that it would be the first step in causing this empire to fall. Plans change, I'm afraid, because sometimes the best coups, the best seizes and the best razings aren't caused by Kings at all. They're caused by WARRIORS. THIS IS MY WARRIOR. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET'S HEAR IT FOR FORMER TRANSCONTINENTAL CHAMPION AND ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, CENTURIUS MAXIMUS!
The fans boo even harder, now!
The Emperor: He knows his mission well, and he follows it through accordingly. I couldn't ask for a better apprentice...and I don't need to get into specifics in front of all of you, but basically it's something like this: if a King is the man on the throne then ICW ALREADY HAS ONE. The ICW World Heavyweight Champion. And that title, that position is going to come into my arms because THIS MAN, THE GLADIATOR, WILL BE CHALLENGING FOR THE ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! This "Conglomerate" reign will fall short like the rest of them. THIS IS THE AGE OF ROMULUS MAXIMII. YOU ALL WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME! I AM YOUR MASTER! I AM YOUR EMPEROR! KNEEL! KNEEL BEFORE HEALIUS MAXIMUS! KNEEL AND YOU WILL OBTAIN ENLIGHTENMENT...
KNEEL!!!!!
KNEEL!!!!!!!
KNEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
KNEEE-
"Shipping Up To Boston" plays, signalling the arrival of "Custom-Made" ScottiePP7, THE ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!
JR: Here comes the NEW ICW World Heavyweight Champion. He endured a hell of a match, I'll give him that, but PP7 won the title under suspicious circumstances...watch!
July2Die footage:
Constantine turns to walk back towards the scene of all the action, BUT SCOTTIEPP7 CONNECTS WITH A MILLION DOLLAR KNEE LIFT! CONSTANTINE GOES OVER THE SIDE OF THE CAGE, CRASHING THROUGH THE WRECKAGE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JR: OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! HE'S DEAD! THAT KILLED HIM!!!
The fans are silent, as PP7 turns towards the cage, as Hook comes out of the second cage. Hook helps PP7 climb the cage. PP7 enters the third cage, as Hook joins him. PP7 and Hook take the ladder out, and put it on top of the third cage...
JR: NO! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS! SOMEONE STOP HIM!!!
EMTs come out to help Constantine, who is out cold. Hampton starts to crawl out of the hole he made through the second cage wall.
JR: HELP HIM, THIS MAN NEEDS SERIOUS MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!!!!
Hook helps PP7 climb the ladder. Hook holds the ladder steady, as Scottie reaches up, and grabs the ICW world title.....
DING, DING
JR: NO! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Howard Finkel: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THE WINNER OF THE MATCH.....
AND........
NEWWWWWWWW ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION,
SCOTTIEPP7
JR: NO! NO!!!!
Hampton stops crawling, as he pounds the cage floor with his fist. LB starts to stir surrounded by a mess of table.
EMTS carry off Lou E. Dangerously, Joey Styles, Myst, and Calvin Constantine...
Back to the live TV, as ScottiePP7, alongside Johnny Hook, and Ms. Clee Tarus have entered the ring. PP7 polishes the ICW World Title, as the fans boo.
The Emperor: And what, pray tell, young one, what have I done to earn the honor of our most gracious world champion, blessing me with his presence in the ring?
ScottiePP7: Why? WHY? THE EMPEROR WANTS TO KNOW WHY..
PP7 smiles, and throws the ICW world title up on his shoulder
The Emperor: Yes, wh-
ScottiePP7: BECAUSE I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!
The fans cheer, because it's an easy pop.
ScottiePP7: We've been traveling all over the country, LEFT TO RIGHT, RIGHT TO LEFT, AND RIGHT EVEN IN THE MIDDLE, THE BELLYBUTTON, THE TOILET OF AMERICA WICHITA KANSAS ON THE 2008 Scottie APP7RECIATION TOUR! We've been celebrating across America. We've celebrated in HOLIDAY INNS,
HOLIDAY INN EXPRESSES,
AND EVEN IN HOLIDAY IN SELECTS. It ain't easy being this talented, and this good looking, you know. We've got to give everyone what they want. AND THAT I DO, WITH SASS, CLASS, AND A PRINGLES CAN IN MY PANTS!!!!
The fans cheer, oddly enough
ScottiePP7: So when we finally had to roll in to this DUMP, Anaheim, I asked my custom-made self, "Custom Made self, just WHO does this Emperor character think he is?" I mean, first you send your little errand boy grocery clerk to try to beat me up, which I might add, he was UNSUCCESSFUL AT, and now, now you're booking matches for MY ICW title?
The Emperor: Yeah. Yeah, I am actually. You know, it's all about power. And right now...we've got it.
ScottiePP7: Power. Yeah right. I'm the half-million dollar man. I'M MR. CUSTOM MADE. I'M THE MAN WHO PUT OUT THE FORMER ICW WORLD CHAMP, CALVIN CONSTANTINE. I'M THE ICW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, THE MAN WHO BUILT THIS DAMN PLACE. I'M SCOTTIEPP7, DAMNIT!!!!!
The Gladiator steps forward, as does Hook and PP7. The Emperor holds back The Gladiator.
The Gladiator: Now now. Let's not get into something we can't finish, here.
ScottiePP7: No. I'm going to be a fighting champion! SPACE MOUNTAIN, BABY! LET'S DO THIS, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
JR: WE'RE GOING TO SEE THIS SHIT NOW!!!!
The aformentioned parties lunge toward each other again, but suddenly, "Past Tense, Future Perfect" hits, signalling the arrival of Dan Hampton! The fans cheer, as The Golden One makes his way to the ring.
Dan Hampton: Now...now...NOW! You know, I was backstage, consulting Broctoon, Mayor McCheese, and this typewriting monkey who was snorting cocaine, and I said, MAN! I got ripped off at July2Die. I wonder how I can get back on my feet?
The fans cheer for Hampton
Dan Hampton: And then I realized...HEY. I'M THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER. NOT TO MENTION I HAVE A WORLD TITLE SHOT TO USE. Now, the way I see it, I get a title shot BECAUSE I'm number one contender, and if that's not good enough, I have the title shot. So...yeah. STEP ASIDE, GLADDY!
The Emperor: You INSIGNIFICANT FLEA. WHO DO YOU THINK-
Dan Hampton: Oh, I know who I am. I'm the guy who used to kick your stupid ass ALL OVER EWA. So unless you'd like me to resume my former job, well. Fucking step off.
ScottiePP7: Man's got a point. His point being totally queer and that of a nancy boy, but still.
Dan Hampton: Big words from someone who needed his henchman to win the match. How about one-one one, Mr. Custom Made?
ScottiePP7: JOHNNY HOOK EATS PIECES OF SHIT BIGGER THAN YOU FOR BREAKFAST!
The fans laugh, Hook says WTF.
JR: Hampton IS the number one contender, he deserves the title shot!
Suddenly, "Alcohol" by the Dropkick Murphys hits, and out comes Lightning Bolt to a huge pop from the fans. He walks down the ramp and enters the ring as he talks
Lightning Bolt: Basically, I'm interjecting...because I wanna. And that ICW world title should be mine.
LB pauses
LB: Hmmm? Oh. More? Ok......*ahem*.......................bitches.
The fans cheer
The Emperor: Now, this is getting out of hand. CLEARLY The Gladiator is the most qualified for the ICW title shot, not these two miscreants.
Just then, "Battery" plays, and on the TITtron we see Lone Wolf, alongside the rest of The Hardcore Regime, as they are back in their locker room
Lone Wolf: Qualified? QUALIFIED? What the HELL are you all talking about? No one is more qualified than me. I've been on the biggest path of destruction ICW has EVER seen. I've taken everyone I've laid my hands on out. I'M THE LEADER OF THE STRONGEST FORCE IN ICW, THE HARDCORE REGIME. AS FAR AS I SEE IT, I'M GOING TO BRING THE OTHER ICW TITLE HOME TO THE HARDCORE REGIME.
ScottiePP7: Delusions of grandeur.
The Emperor: Nations at war, the country line thicker than ever. If that's how you'd all like to do it, then I propose this: NEXT WEEK:
FOR A SHOT AGAINST SCOTTIEPP7 FOR THE ICW WORLD TITLE AT ULTIMATUM
A FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH!!!!!!
Dan Hampton
vs.
Lightning Bolt
vs.
The Gladiator
vs.
Lone Wolf!!!!
The fans cheer
JR: HELL YES!!!!!!!!
ScottiePP7: Mr. Custom Made never backs down from a challenge. But one stipulation.
PP7 consults Hook and Clee Tarus
ScottiePP7: JOHNNY HOOK, THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE.
LB, Wolf, Hampton, Gladiator and Emperor all seem to think about it, and nod in approval.
JR: WHAT A MATCH!!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!!!! THE ICW WORLD TITLE SCENE HAS JUST PICKED UP!!!!!!!!
Commercial break:
theslip.nin.com
Back to live TV
JR: Fans, we're back on TIT, and we're going to continue the first round of the Hail to the King tournament here.
Earlier, we saw Juggernaut advance over The Gladiator, so here are the updated brackets:
First Round
Second Round
Third Round
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Juggernaut
versus
winner of Morrigan/Public
versus
winner of Morrigan/Public
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Blank
versus
Blank
versus
Blank
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
winner of Kayne/Pyro
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
"Burn" by Throwdown hits, and out comes The Hardcore Regime's Pyro to a chorus of boos. He gets in the ring, and raises his arms up in the air, pointing to his Hardcore Regime T-Shirt
JR: Pyro has made an immediate impact by aligning himself with The Hardcore Regime. Under the tutelage of one Lone Wolf, this kid could go places.
"Evolution" by Korn hits, signalling the arrival of Fenyx Kayne. The fans cheer!
JR: And we await the arrival of the RISING SON! He won over many fans at July2Die in his match with Lone Wolf. Wolf took him to the limit, and at times, I thought Kayne just COULD NOT STAY DOWN! But...wait. Where is he?
Pyro wonders the same thing, as he looks on at the ramp. He puts his hands on his hips, before motioning up at the TITtron, "where is he?"
SUDDENLY, THE CAMERAMAN HITS PYRO WITH THE CAMERA!!!!!!!
PYRO IS DOWN! THE CAMERAMAN THROWS DOWN THE CAMERA!
JR: WHAT THE HELL? THAT CAMERAMAN! WHAT IS HE DOING???
The cameraman takes off his cap, IT'S FENYX KAYNE!!!! He motions for the referee to ring the bell!!!!
JR: KAYNE SNEAK ATTACKED PYRO!!!!!
Pyro gets to his feet, wobbily, and Kayne sets him up, THE NEW BEGINNING!!!!
KAYNE MAKES THE COVER!
1....
2....
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, and advancing to the second round of the Hail to the King tournament, Fenyx Kayne!
The fans cheer as Kayne leaves the ring, wearing cameraman garb. He points at his head as to say he's smarter than Pyro and the rest of the Hardcore Regime.
JR: WHAT CUNNING BY KAYNE!!!!
First Round
Second Round
Third Round
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Juggernaut
versus
winner of Morrigan/Public
versus
winner of Morrigan/Public
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Blank
versus
Blank
versus
Blank
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Fenyx Kayne
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
JR: This tournament put together by Lou E. Dangerously is really starting to shapen up. SCINTILLATING!
Cut to backstage, where we see Juggernaut and Mayhem, Damaged Ink talking.
Juggernaut: No, I'm fine. He caught me off guard.
Mayhem: Listen, at least you won. I still have a match tonight.
Juggernaut: Good luck, bra. You're gonna need it. But more importantly, I've got a message for everyone, NEXT WEEK. Me and Mayhem here? We're DAMAGED INK. And we're wanting to prove how damaged we really are, and that we're the best tag team here in ICW. So WE'RE ISSUING AN OPEN CHALLENGE TO ANY TAG TEAM WHO WOULD LIKE TO FACE US, NEXT WEEK? BRING IT ON!
Suddenly, Genesis walks up, seemingly from the shadows...
Mayhem: Hey you punk BITCH! What do you think you're doing?
Genesis: ....
Juggernaut: Yeah, GET OUT OF HERE, FREAK!
Genesis quietly walks off
Mayhem: What is the DEAL with that guy?
Cut to yet another locker room
Fenyx Kayne: WHOO! SCORE ONE FOR THE ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT!
Johnny Q. Public walks up to Kayne, in the locker room...
Johnny Q. Public: What the hell was that?
Fenyx Kayne: What?
Johnny Q. Public: That...nonsense that just occurred in the ring.
Fenyx Kayne: Hey, I beat Pyro.
Johnny Q. Public: This is WRESTLING. Look. I've been thinking about what you've had to say. And I've come to the conclusion that we have common enemies. The Hardcore Regime. And now you have The Conglomerate, and Romulus Maximii. Listen, we're a dying breed, you and I. We've got to stick together.
Fenyx Kayne: I'm listening...
Johnny Q. Public: We've got to strike at our enemies to reclaim ICW, so we can have more opportunities to be on top. We've been held back and screwed over too many times. It's time to fight back.
Fenyx Kayne: I don't have a good track record with partners...
Johnny Q. Public: Not partners. Not in the sense. I want to help you, so you can help me. You've got a lot of potential, but you've got to learn a lot, still.
Fenyx Kayne: Like what?
Johnny Q. Public: Discipline.
QPublic holds up his fist to Kayne's face.
Johnny Q. Public: Come on, we've got a lot to talk about, before my match...
Cut back to the arena
JR: Well folks we're on the first night of our West Coast ICW tour, as you all know the WWE is invading the ICW land of Philadelphia Pennsylvania this week. But now to other business, our thoughts and prayers are with former ICW World Champion Calvin Constantine, who last week took a spill off of the Insanity Cell, and had to be hospitalized. The extent of his condition is unknown at this time, and we are not sure if he will return soon, if at all...
Cut to a hospital, where we see Lou E. Dangerously sitting in his bed.
Lou E. Dangerously: Those idiots. Romulus Maximii. What a fucking JOKE. They think they can take ICW from me? Heh. I can fight fire with fire. If it's a war they want, a war they'll get...
commercial break:
hungry eat food
Back to live TV
Gary Michael Cappetta: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FOLLOWING FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE HAIL TO THE KING TOURNAMENT, IS ALSO FOR THE ICW CHAOS CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!
"Sick of Life" by Godsmack hits, and out comes The Hardcore Regime's ICW NYO "Chaos" Champion, Sylver Morrigan to a chorus of boos by the fans.
JR: Morrigan, who has named the ICW Name Your Own title the CHAOS title, has certainly caused a lot of chaos since aligning herself with Lone Wolf and the Hardcore Regime. She used to be a fan favorite, until the master manipulator Lone Wolf sank his fangs into Morrigan, allowing her to reclaim her dark side. She's had a hellacious mean streak since, winning the ICW NYO title at July2Die.
Morrigan gets in the ring, and hands the Chaos title to the referee, as "To Take The Black" by The Sword, and out comes Johnny Q. Public to a round of applause.
JR: Johnny Q. Public, the ICW legend and former world champion, is one of few people to stand up for what is right here in ICW. He's a fan favorite, and a favorite of mine, too. Of course, this is a Hail to the King tournament first round match, but as ICW NYO rules go, this match will also be for the NYO title. I'm sure QPublic would love to win the NYO title, to bring it back to the TRUE side of ICW, and not under The Hardcore Regime's...well, regime!
QPublic hits the ring, and the referee calls for the bell, AND MORRIGAN HITS QPUBLIC WITH A LOW BLOW!!!!!!!!!
JR: WHAT THE HELL???
The referee calls for the bell, as QPublic goes down. Morrigan circles around him, and starts to stomp away.
Winner, by disqualification, and advancing to the second round of the Hail to the King tournament, Johnny Q. Public
STILL ICW NYO "CHAOS" CHAMPION, SYLVER MORRIGAN
The fans boo, as Morrigan puts the boots to QPublic, but suddenly FENYX KAYNE RUNS DOWN to help, running Morrigan off. She grabs the Chaos title and heads back up the ramp, with an evil smile on her face.
JR: Morrigan non-chalantly just cost herself the match at the expense of QPublic! She must not be concerned with the Hail to the King tournament, and she definitely didn't want to put herself in a position to lose the Chaos title. WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN!
Kayne and QPublic look on at Morrigan, as the camera cuts to the back.
ScottiePP7: I can't beLIEVE this Healius guy. Here's a guy that time in and time out I REFUSED TO LET IN ICW, because, well, I was the custom made PREZ. And now he's trying to backdoor his butler, Centurius Maximus, The Masturbator into the ICW title, just so the guy can hand it over to him? WHO WOULD EVER DO THAT?
Johnny Hook: Well, Scott, that was an original plan for us.
Clee Tarus: Yeah. Remember?
ScottiePP7: Yeah, well. Shit. You're right. STILL, I'M THE CHAMPION! NO ONE CAN TOUCH ME! NO ONE!
SUDDENLY, THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!!!!
Johnny Hook: WHAT THE HELL MAN, WHAT THE HELL?
The lights come back on, and we see SCOTTIEPP7, KNOCKED OUT COLD ON THE FLOOR! Clee Tarus screams as Hook reaches down on damage control.
JR: Someone has just KNOCKED OUT OUR CHAMPION!!!!!!!
"Surfacing" by Slipknot hits, and out comes Mayhem, accompanied by Juggernaut, to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
JR: Well...in any case, we're moving on with the final first round match of the Hail to the King tournament. What controversy has surrounded this tournament, so far!
First Round
Second Round
Third Round
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Juggernaut
versus
Johnny Q. Public
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Blank
versus
Blank
versus
Blank
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Fenyx Kayne
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
versus
winner of Genesis/Mayhem
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
JR: Not much is known about Damaged Ink yet, but we're about to find out, hopefully. That could be said the same for Genesis, who also makes his ICW debut here tonight.
Damaged Ink enters the ring, and Mayhem starts to warm up, as "Genesis" by VNV Nation plays, and out comes Genesis to a mixed reaction from the crowd
JR: Genesis made a sudden impact at July2Die, targeting ICW's "villains", so to speak. Specifically the new ICW Champion, ScottiePP7.
The camera cuts to the backstage area, where we see Dan Hampton PUT THROUGH A TABLE IN HIS DRESSING ROOM!
WE ALSO SEE LIGHTNING BOLT, PUT THROUGH A TABLE, IN A HALLWAY!
AND SCOTTIEPP7 AND JOHNNY HOOK ARE FIGHTING LONE WOLF IN THE BACKSTAGE AREA!
JR: What the hell???
Wolf is trying to defend himself from the double team, as suddenly THE GLADIATOR SHOWS UP, SPEARING JOHNNY HOOK! LONE WOLF ATTACKS GLADIATOR, AS NOW IT'S A THREE WAY BRAWL BETWEEN GLADIATOR, WOLF, AND PP7!
JR: PP7 must have been trying to get revenge on whomever attacked him!
In the ring, Genesis has a microphone
Genesis: When I opened up the Book of Genesis, a stream of hot White Light spewed forth. It covered the land, and it made almost everything Light. Almost everything. You see, there was some darkness. And it stretched out further than it should have. And there is a little bit of darkness on you too. And after tonight, hopefully some of that darkness will fade away. Because JUST LIKE I ATTACKED SCOTTIEPP7 EARLIER, you TOO will see my light.
The fans cheer!!! Scottie is watching a monitor, backstage!
JR: Genesis attacked PP7!!!!
Scottie takes off, as Wolf and Gladiator continue their fight.
The bell sounds in the ring, as the Juggernaut goes for Genesis. Genesis side-steps Juggernaut, and tosses him over the top rope! Mayhem gets the jump on Genesis, and clubs him in the back.
JR: Genesis having to deal with BOTH members of Damaged Ink here!
Suddenly, SCOTTIEPP7 busts through the entrance way, with a mad look on his face, but FROM BEHIND, THE EMPEROR!!!!! HE TURNS PP7 AROUND, ENLIGHTENMENT PEDIGREE ON THE METAL STAGE!!! The Emperor unrobes, revealing the visage of Healius Maximus for the first time tonight, as the fans boo.
JR: THE EMPEROR, HEALIUS WHATEVER YOU DAMN WELL WANT TO CALL HIM HAS TAKEN OUT THE ICW WORLD CHAMPION!!!!
In the ring, Juggernaut hops up on the apron, looking for a double team.
Mayhem whips Genesis into the ropes, GENESIS REVERSES, MAYHEM IS WHIPPED INTO JUGGERNAUT, JUGGERNAUT GETS KNOCKED OFF THE RING APRON!!!!
JR: THE DOUBLE TEAM ATTEMPT BACKFIRED!!!!!
Mayhem looks down at Juggernaut, and turns around, into Genesis' SUPERKICK, ARCLIGHT!!!!!!!!!
JR: THAT'S IT, HE'S GOT HIM!!!!!!!
Genesis makes the cover!
1...........
2........
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall, and advancing to the second round of the Hail to the King tournament, Genesis
Genesis looks up at PP7, laying prone on the stage, and then proceeds to leave the ring area, THROUGH THE CROWD!
JR: GENESIS WINS! GENESIS WINS!
First Round
Second Round
Third Round
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
SIXTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
The Gladiator
versus
Juggernaut
Juggernaut
versus
Johnny Q. Public
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Sylver Morrigan
versus
Johnny Q. Public
Blank
versus
Blank
versus
Blank
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Pyro
Fenyx Kayne
versus
Genesis
versus
Genesis
Mayhem
versus
Genesis
JR: THE FIRST ROUND IS COMPLETE! BUT THE ICW WORLD CHAMPION HAS BEEN TAKEN OUT!!! OH MY, WHAT A THURSDAY INSANE THURSDAY!!!
The last shot we see is ScottiePP7 laying on the ramp, trying to revive, as the ICW world title is draped across his body...
Cut to a shot outside of the Philadelphia hospital, where Lou E. Dangerously is recovering.
Cut inside now, where he is waking up from sleep.
Lou E. Dangerously: Ah......wow. Who would have thought that a chair could mess me up so bad? JEEZ!
Lou gets up, and starts to walk towards the bathroom.
Lou E. Dangerously: But I have this strange feeling, of talking about starting a war. I don't remember that. I mean, with the concussion and all, it's kind of hard to tell whether I'm coming or going, but still...
Lou continues the walk to the bathroom, opening the door
Lou E. Dangerously: But still, I can't help this feeling. Like, the feeling of this "takeover" by these entities of ICW is over. Like it never happened. Like, it was all a dream...
Lou E. Dangerously opens the shower curtain, where we see a human form, taking a shower.
Lou E. Dangerously: YOU??
Dave Dudley: What's all a dream?